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I Battle Existential Depression

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 246 People

    Want You To Be Happy Always

    i am not a spirutual teller. i just want to help you out . i am medical student,so i just wana help you out, i have magic thought which will make you happier for whole of your life. 1) belief is the mother all the consequence which you face in your life, if u belief that u r not...
    chokien chokien 22-25 Oct 2, 2013

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    Not Really A "battle"...it Just Is :)

    the meaning of life)Hello!  I ran across this site while looking to apologize to someone about being who I am, or the person that I am.  complicated, but of course you all reading this certainly understand :).  So I'm glad I found this group.  I only...
    ThankUpages ThankUpages 41-45, M 2 Responses May 5, 2010

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    At A Point Where I Question Everything.

    I know I'm suffering with something, I goggled types of depression and I existential depression sums it up. I constantly question what is my purpose. Its been so bad, I question my every action or want now. Although I have studied well and have 2 degrees, I constantly wonder if...
    Empathink Empathink 26-30, F 1 Response Sep 13, 2013

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    Caramelheart Caramelheart 16-17, M 2 Responses Jan 15

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    Caramelheart Caramelheart 16-17, M 2 Responses Mar 17

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    Sometimes I feel that all my perceptions about

    everyone and everything is wrong and I feel like my entire life is a lie.
    ayang1150 ayang1150 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 20

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    My Cross

    At one point in my life I was a pretty gifted artist. I was accepted in to CIA right out of high school on scholarship, but my mother wouldn't let me go. I wanted to be one of those rebellious children that took charge of my own life once I'd chosen my path, but my mother was a...
    MelMel68 MelMel68 31-35, F 2 Responses Jul 30, 2013

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    Nietzsche Is Making My Soul Sick

    I first encountered existential depression after reading Thus Spoke Zarathustra in my philosophy class. Before even opening the book, I instinctively knew what it was going to be about. I knew it was going to be an upheaval of morals, and an upheaval of God, which would lead to...
    Bupsy Bupsy 18-21, M 4 Responses May 1, 2013

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    I am a seventeen year old boy.

    I have suffered from existential depression for a few years, but it only started hitting me hard about a year ago. It all began with me asking the most intelligent question: why? "Jacob, do your homework!" "I already know the stuff. I'll get an A on the test and a B in...
    metagross metagross 18-21, M 8 Responses Jun 13

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    The Crushing Realization

    It started when I lost my faith in God. And it was slow, and crept up on me, and strangled me softly at first. Simple doubts about a divine creator turned into an agonizing certainty and overwhelming fear that turned me into an insomniac, gave me relentless anxiety attacks. I...
    SublimeMarrow SublimeMarrow 18-21, F 4 Responses Jul 8, 2012

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    New Convert, Newly Depressed - Is There Any Hope?

    Hi everyone, About a year and a half ago I lost my faith in God. I was never very religious, although I did believe in some sort of higher power that I would pray to and that made me feel like life was comfortable, meaningful, and fair. However, once I definitively realized I...
    whiteguy91 whiteguy91 22-25 2 Responses Oct 14, 2013

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    One Big Fat Cliché ~ My Childhood - Today

    This is the first story I've shared on here so I'm not exactly sure how it works. However, my main reason for signing up for this was because of my existential depression. I am very young and have had a lot of family troubles, like most. When I was 5, my mother left my father for...
    thisisashittyusername thisisashittyusername 16-17, F 3 Responses Dec 26, 2012

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    Need More Treatment Ideas Please!

    I have been depressed since I was around 12yrs old (I'm now 30) and have been on every silly medication known to man since I was around 18. A few hospital stays and suicide attempts later I do not seem to b making much progress. I'm hoping you guys can help me... My depression...
    iamnotmypast iamnotmypast 26-30, F 6 Responses Aug 7, 2009

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    Fears

    I use to be quite religious, until I had some experiences that made me question god's existence. Afterwards I started to have fears that I can't control, I stay up late, then sudden thoughts of death just went over me. I began getting bored with life, studies i ask myself if...
    introvertedlife introvertedlife 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 20, 2013

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    Finally A Name

    AFTER MONTHS OF RESEARCHING DEPRESSION ON THE INTERNET I FINALLY HAVE A WORD FOR IT NOW............E.D.[ TYPICAL THIS IS ONE OF THE HARDEST DEPRESSIONS TO HELP].NEXT TIME I GO TO THE DOC I WILL TELL HIM/HER, [ 50% CHANCE THEY WONT KNOW ].ONE WEEK AGO THE DOC DIDNT EVEN KNOW  ...
    bitterpea bitterpea 46-50, M 1 Response May 25, 2010

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    I'm really trying not to have an existential

    breakdown right now... I've been through a couple of them and they suck... Nothing changes...you can either accept your issues or learn and broaden your perspective... And then move on! I really hope I can bate it off... Oh well... Here goes something...
    Shoutittotheworld23 Shoutittotheworld23 26-30, M 2 Responses Mar 6

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    Want This World To Be Happy Place

    hello friends , i am medical practioner by profession i want to share some medical fact and mystery to be happy always 1) we all are destined to be happy and prosperous, but y most of them are not happy? ans- actually we all search a happiness in something which is of some...
    chokien chokien 22-25 Oct 3, 2013

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    An Existential Crisis?

    Thanks to Dan for providing this message board as a means to share one's experiences with Existential Depression. I don't have the financial means to seek out a therapist who specializes in this arena. This is very new territory to me, and existential depression is a self...
    Autumn1969 Autumn1969 41-45 1 Response Aug 6, 2012

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    Ayahuasca Cures Depression

    Ayahuasca. it is a medicine that has existed for thousands of years. It is made in the rain-forest. It must be taken with a shaman, who is not motivated by greed and self-gain. If you suffer from any form of depression, Ayahuasca can cure you. Take a minute to read my story...
    AlexLight101 AlexLight101 22-25, M 1 Response Mar 17, 2013

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    One Day, Existence Just Didn't Make Sense

    I have an exact date range for when my troubles with existentialism started. December 25 2007- January 7 2008. I received and read a book that touched on some major philosophy ideas, about existence, morality, freewill, communism, existence of god, where the universe came from...
    anomienous anomienous 22-25, M 1 Response Jan 5, 2013

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    Rage With Nowhere To Go

    I have suffered from existential depression since I was 15.  It's what drove me into dysthymia, and eventually to a major depressive disorder.  I first came across ED at http://steve-olson.com/the-hidden-inner-life-of-existential-depression/.  It fit what I was...
    WisSchmidt WisSchmidt 18-21, M 2 Responses Nov 18, 2010

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    Not so alone now. Thank you,

    whoever made this site. I have been wishing I would die since I was around 12 years old for really no reason at all. I can't tell you why, I just feel that way. I never understokod them, they never understood me. Like, bullies. They say something mean about you and, what? Do you...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Mar 20

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    Twenty Years of Flailing

    I was first told I was depressed at college. I was nineteen. I went to the doctor - got little time and a prescription to an anti-depressant. I guessed, at the time, that this was all a GP could do in the middle of dealing with so many students. The drug was wrong for me and led...
    Shymer Shymer 36-40, M 10 Responses Jul 28, 2009

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    I am new, and have done a rubbish job of

    commenting so far. I am not really sure this site is for me, I no longer battle ExDep. But I know how much it hurts, and I wish there had been someone, anyone who understood it when I was experiencing it. It's awful, but if my experience can be helpful to someone, that's...
    jamaiscommelesoiseaux jamaiscommelesoiseaux 26-30 Feb 15

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    The Life And Afterlife - Why

    Firstly, I would like to say hello to everyone!I would like to start with saying something that you already know as well.  None of our lives will matter in the end.Here is a little about me:I am a 39 year old (40 in two weeks - inching closer to the inevitable) father of 2.  I...
    moosemessier moosemessier 36-40 14 Responses May 23, 2011

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    Dealing With Existential Depression

    Existential depression permanently changes the way you experience the world, but it could be for the better. There isn't enough online in terms of how people deal with these thoughts/feelings. While the experience is highly individual, I thought I should share some ideas that...
    KP02 KP02 22-25, F 4 Responses Feb 24, 2010

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    What Am I?

    I defined myself as an ambitious IT professional. That has been taken away from me by my sickness. What am I?
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Nov 5, 2013

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    The night before I started writing this,

    I watched a movie called The Road with Viggo Mortensen on Netflix. For those who haven't seen it or read the book (which I only learned existed when I mentioned the movie to my therapist earlier today), the story follows a father and son who struggle to survive in a post...
    kalicko kalicko 26-30, M 2 Responses Mar 11

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    Existential Depression

    I thought I'd start a group for all those who suffer from existential depression to find some comfort in knowing that you are not alone.  For those wondering what it is: http://psychcentral.com/lib/2008/what-is-existential-depression/ I think my existential depression...
    dan888 dan888 26-30, M 6 Responses Jun 14, 2009

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    Story Of My Life...

    I've dealt with this all my life, but its been more of a process of peeling away layers until I have now  'exposed' my existential depression.  In the past I was able to cope well with it, or moreover I had no idea the concept of 'existential depression' existed but I...
    dizzybats dizzybats 18-21 3 Responses May 27, 2010

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    Severe Depression- What Is This Life?

    I have battled depression, severe anxiety and paranoia since I was a small child. Way too young to know what existentialism or cognitive dissonance meant, but old and intelligent enough to know that I was very uncomfortable here on this earth and inside this body. I didn't get it...
    kizzyrenee kizzyrenee 31-35, F 4 Responses Sep 13, 2012

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    If I Can't Find A Meaning To This Fearful Life, I'll Become The Enemy Of Mankind

    It is not existence itself (in the sense of conscious experience) that is the malign ulcer I seek to identify here. It is human nature, even extensive to our deficient social institutions, that are to be taken as enemy. In the face of it, our propping up of such failed...
    Madej Madej 22-25, F 1 Response Nov 24, 2012

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    Existential Depression In My Life

    I was diagnosed with major depression at the age of 12. Since then I have been on lots of different medications just trying to find what works. I have suffered with bouts of extreme depression, and I have attempted suicide. I never felt like the definition of major depression...
    jenn1800 jenn1800 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 24, 2010

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    Related Experiences

    May seem like nothing but this is the first time this week that I've had the mental strength to wake up an get dressed! And put makeup on an do my hair so to me this is quiet a...
    fashionanxiety fashionanxiety 16-17, F 1 Response Jul 1

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    The longer I sit here alone and realize how many people are around me to just benefit them selfs and how many people who were true friends are now dead the worse it gets. The gun...
    dillonwatson dillonwatson 18-21, M Jul 8

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    All day today i felt like going in my garage, getting a cord, wrapping it around my neck, and hanging myself. Life is hardly worth living anymore and I have come to realize that...
    TheGuy147 TheGuy147 16-17, M 1 Response Jul 20

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    Hey everyone. I want to just put this message out there. Many of us, including myself, have been helped by this site and some of the wonderful people who are a part of it. But...
    cyndercrys cyndercrys 18-21, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    Hello. I am really depressed and although my problem may seem trivial, it has caused me so much stress that I now have neuralgia which is nerve damage :( if anyone will be kind...
    Alovingheart7437 Alovingheart7437 18-21, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    It all started with a disaster in my childhood that left me forever scarred. Ever sense then my whole life was determined do to the whole disaster. I can't kiss a boy much less hug...
    theundecidedthought theundecidedthought 16-17, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    I want a friend on here that will message me some times first than me always having to say something first , I want someone who cares who wants to know me but that will never...
    Chesher Chesher 16-17, M 4 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    I do battle with depression but I'm taking it day by day. Some days are better that others but I'm making it c: you just have to focus on what you have really.
    kath12321 kath12321 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 19

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    I have and still do battle chronic depression but it has made me more understanding and empathetic to others pain and life experiences.....and led me on my spiritual journey.
    suziel suziel 31-35, F 3 Responses Jul 20

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    I haven't been on experience project in a while. I really miss it and the people I have met who have talked to me when I needed it and I'd like to thank each and every one of them...
    Jrivs Jrivs 16-17, M a week ago

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    The only reason Im still alive after an 9 year battle with depression/anxiety/suicidal thoughts is because I don't want to put my loved ones through my loss. Unlike a lot of...
    missmichigan21 missmichigan21 18-21, F 7 Responses Jul 16

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    I don't have any friends and barely any family. Maybe coming on this site was a sign that maybe i want to try and take some steps forward with myself. As much as i battle with...
    theblacktiger theblacktiger 22-25, M 6 Responses Jul 16

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    The past 6 years have been a constant battle of depression, loneliness, paranoia Etcetc. I'm in that time of my life where I either want to give up completely or work hard to get...
    Exoduss Exoduss 16-17, F 5 Responses Jul 23

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    Found out I was diagnosed with severe depression in November 2013. I've tried therapy but for me that doesn't help me at all, I'm not an open person so I don't like sharing my...
    naniwani01 naniwani01 13-15, F 1 Response 1 hr ago

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    My name is ___ and my depression is the devil eating my spirits day by day internally, but only my parents and my therapist are somewhat aware of how I feel because nobody else...
    dazedandconfusedgal dazedandconfusedgal 16-17, F 8 Responses Jul 15

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    In runs in my family they say. Depression anxiety runs in my family. So it's my destiny to be depressed. To live a broken life. To have my soul tortured. To fall part daily. To...
    bubbles1085 bubbles1085 13-15, F 3 Responses Jul 22

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    ~*~ I battled this for YEARS - as in most of my adolescent/adult life. This is how I got a handle on it and got my life back. *I'm taking the time to write this out - hoping that...
    JusDifferent JusDifferent 41-45, F 3 Responses Jul 23

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    most people don't believe depression is a big issue. Let me tell the people who thinks that "it's not a big deal" something. Imagine waking up every morning and wishing you didn...
    morgan18365 morgan18365 16-17, F 5 Responses Jul 6