I Battle Existential Depression

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 340 People

    Nietzsche Is Making My Soul Sick

    I first encountered existential depression after reading Thus Spoke Zarathustra in my philosophy class. Before even opening the book, I instinctively knew what it was going to be about. I knew it was going to be an upheaval of morals, and an upheaval of God, which would lead to...
    Bupsy Bupsy
    22-25, M
    4 Responses May 1, 2013

    I went trough existential depression

    (Dabrowski's theory - I feel like I have to say that too, I come to realize that what most people call existential depression is not Dabrowski's theory of existential depression.) I don't want to write the story again, but I have a blog about it on tumblr...
    uniquecheesecake uniquecheesecake
    22-25, F
    Sep 7, 2015

    dipping in and out of these existential (ego)

    attacks for the last 3 years. I just recently read on here that pisces have an strong desire for understanding, and are constantly searching for their "true selves". This information is interesting and comforting.
    jaywabz jaywabz
    26-30, M
    May 17, 2015

    New Convert, Newly Depressed - Is There Any Hope?

    Hi everyone, About a year and a half ago I lost my faith in God. I was never very religious, although I did believe in some sort of higher power that I would pray to and that made me feel like life was comfortable, meaningful, and fair. However, once I definitively realized I...
    whiteguy91 whiteguy91
    2 Responses Oct 14, 2013

    My name is Donald and I am 24 years old.

    I am two classes short of my bachelors degree in Parks and Recreation Management. I've been married for 5.5 years, we recently moved from a small town into Oklahoma City. I've taken this semester off to take a break from school because the grind is driving me absolutely nuts...
    KnaisGuy KnaisGuy
    26-30, M
    2 Responses Aug 15, 2014

    I am a seventeen year old boy.

    I have suffered from existential depression for a few years, but it only started hitting me hard about a year ago. It all began with me asking the most intelligent question: why? "Jacob, do your homework!" "I already know the stuff. I'll get an A on the test and a B in...
    metagross metagross
    18-21, M
    8 Responses Jun 13, 2014

    What Am I?

    I defined myself as an ambitious IT professional. That has been taken away from me by my sickness. What am I?
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Nov 5, 2013

    I am wondering if there is a pattern in those

    who have Existential Depression. I personally am an INTJ. Please respond with your personality type. If you don't know then take some time to know yourself and take this test: http://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test
    okjessie okjessie
    16-17, F
    6 Responses Mar 15, 2015

    Not so alone now. Thank you,

    whoever made this site. I have been wishing I would die since I was around 12 years old for really no reason at all. I can't tell you why, I just feel that way. I never understokod them, they never understood me. Like, bullies. They say something mean about you and, what? Do you...
    deleted deleted
    2 Responses Mar 20, 2014

    Existential Depression In My Life

    I was diagnosed with major depression at the age of 12. Since then I have been on lots of different medications just trying to find what works. I have suffered with bouts of extreme depression, and I have attempted suicide. I never felt like the definition of major depression...
    jenn1800 jenn1800
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Aug 24, 2010

    Existential Depression

    I thought I'd start a group for all those who suffer from existential depression to find some comfort in knowing that you are not alone.  For those wondering what it is: http://psychcentral.com/lib/2008/what-is-existential-depression/ I think my existential depression...
    dan888 dan888
    26-30, M
    6 Responses Jun 14, 2009

    I lose myself like a tear drop in the rain so

    impressionable play doh slit her wrist my thoughts are a tornado and I a scent I’ll form once more when I can breathe easy and deeply when sweet is sleep and joy is the reason I weep. When knowledge is at my brim and I can put a cap on my amygdala
    deleted deleted
    Dec 2, 2015

    Sometimes I feel that all my perceptions about

    everyone and everything is wrong and I feel like my entire life is a lie.
    ayang1150 ayang1150
    18-21, F
    1 Response Mar 20, 2014

    The night before I started writing this,

    I watched a movie called The Road with Viggo Mortensen on Netflix. For those who haven't seen it or read the book (which I only learned existed when I mentioned the movie to my therapist earlier today), the story follows a father and son who struggle to survive in a post...
    kalicko kalicko
    26-30, M
    2 Responses Mar 11, 2014

    I want more than most people,

    I am entirely unfulfilled by existence. Almost depressed by it. Useless existence to me is not any better than no existence at all. If someone can't mean something, advance themselves or others. There is no value in their life. Especially if they are fickle and hurt other people...
    Em518 Em518
    18-21, F
    1 Response Oct 30, 2014

    I've been struggling with this topic

    for many years now. I guess the earliest memories of the big question date back to the about the age of 12, around the time my grandma died. I was told I was an intelligent child, full of brains but also quite the nightmare behaviourally. My teachers at high school said I could...
    tokenmale tokenmale
    31-35, M
    3 Responses Jan 2, 2015

    At A Point Where I Question Everything.

    I know I'm suffering with something, I goggled types of depression and I existential depression sums it up. I constantly question what is my purpose. Its been so bad, I question my every action or want now. Although I have studied well and have 2 degrees, I constantly wonder if...
    Empathink Empathink
    31-35, F
    1 Response Sep 13, 2013

    An Existential Crisis?

    Thanks to Dan for providing this message board as a means to share one's experiences with Existential Depression. I don't have the financial means to seek out a therapist who specializes in this arena. This is very new territory to me, and existential depression is a self...
    Autumn1969 Autumn1969
    3 Responses Aug 6, 2012

    One Big Fat Cliché ~ My Childhood - Today

    This is the first story I've shared on here so I'm not exactly sure how it works. However, my main reason for signing up for this was because of my existential depression. I am very young and have had a lot of family troubles, like most. When I was 5, my mother left my father for...
    thisisashittyusername thisisashittyusername
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Dec 26, 2012

    Want This World To Be Happy Place

    hello friends , i am medical practioner by profession i want to share some medical fact and mystery to be happy always 1) we all are destined to be happy and prosperous, but y most of them are not happy? ans- actually we all search a happiness in something which is of some...
    chokien chokien
    Oct 3, 2013

    Until very recently, I thought I was merely

    feeling just slightly stressed and maybe a little depressed because of moving into a new school. However, the discovery of a few articles and a couple of other things caused me to realise that I was actually fighting something that is called existential depression. This is a...
    13-15, F
    3 Responses Mar 26, 2016
    Sinfool13 Sinfool13
    18-21, M
    2 Responses Jan 15, 2014

    A total depersonalization of existence itself

    is a common daily battle in my life. The essence of who I am is in conflict with its own existence... rotating the wheel as a constellation of abominations to both god and man that is existence itself.
    SoulCoffee SoulCoffee
    26-30, M
    Jul 25, 2015

    Not Really A "battle"...it Just Is :)

    the meaning of life)Hello!  I ran across this site while looking to apologize to someone about being who I am, or the person that I am.  complicated, but of course you all reading this certainly understand :).  So I'm glad I found this group.  I only...
    ThankUpages ThankUpages
    41-45, M
    2 Responses May 5, 2010

    Severe Depression- What Is This Life?

    I have battled depression, severe anxiety and paranoia since I was a small child. Way too young to know what existentialism or cognitive dissonance meant, but old and intelligent enough to know that I was very uncomfortable here on this earth and inside this body. I didn't get it...
    kizzyrenee kizzyrenee
    31-35, F
    6 Responses Sep 13, 2012

    My existential depression is particularly bad

    today. It snowed overnight, just enough to make things icy, not enough to really make things beautiful. I had an appointment with my therapist to start up therapy again but re-scheduled. Now I'm at home, going into my rigid routine of things to keep my anxiety and sadness at bay...
    decaffnm decaffnm
    46-50, M
    2 Responses Jan 3, 2015

    One Day, Existence Just Didn't Make Sense

    I have an exact date range for when my troubles with existentialism started. December 25 2007- January 7 2008. I received and read a book that touched on some major philosophy ideas, about existence, morality, freewill, communism, existence of god, where the universe came from...
    anomienous anomienous
    22-25, M
    1 Response Jan 5, 2013

    Want You To Be Happy Always

    i am not a spirutual teller. i just want to help you out . i am medical student,so i just wana help you out, i have magic thought which will make you happier for whole of your life. 1) belief is the mother all the consequence which you face in your life, if u belief that u r not...
    chokien chokien
    Oct 2, 2013

    I've battled existential depression ever

    since I college. I'm in my mid 40's now and I'd hoped somehow it'd get easier. It hasn't. It doesn't help that I'm alone in life; unmarried, no kids. I often wonder if having a family would help with this type of depression. I wonder what the point of it all is? If we live and...
    decaffnm decaffnm
    46-50, M
    1 Response Dec 28, 2014

    Twenty Years of Flailing

    I was first told I was depressed at college. I was nineteen. I went to the doctor - got little time and a prescription to an anti-depressant. I guessed, at the time, that this was all a GP could do in the middle of dealing with so many students. The drug was wrong for me and led...
    Shymer Shymer
    36-40, M
    9 Responses Jul 28, 2009

    I'm really trying not to have an existential

    breakdown right now... I've been through a couple of them and they suck... Nothing changes...you can either accept your issues or learn and broaden your perspective... And then move on! I really hope I can bate it off... Oh well... Here goes something...
    Shoutittotheworld23 Shoutittotheworld23
    26-30, M
    2 Responses Mar 6, 2014

    About a month ago I took a hit of acid.

    It was the single most horrific experience of my life. Raw fear and terror, so much so that I honestly thought I was going to go insane. It's hard to explain, but I honestly felt that my mind was imploding on itself. Ever since then I have been battling with existential...
    DevinJStafford DevinJStafford
    22-25, M
    Aug 16, 2015

    You guys all seem to be on the same page.

    Why don't we all come together over the most awesome/obvious idea there is? Promoting the scientific discovery on a quantum level that allows us to answer these questions that haunt our lives.....why are we in these weird meat suits on a planet suspended by God knows what in...
    Matteo3 Matteo3
    2 Responses Dec 29, 2014

    I have been depression

    since one year. The last time I went to my psychiatrist she told me about "endemic depression" and she explained to me that some people just born with that genes. I think that this condition is a mayor reason to become an existencialism. It's like came to the world with the...
    JosAntonio JosAntonio
    26-30, M
    Mar 2, 2016
    deleted deleted
    Jul 30, 2015

    I don't care if you read my story

    or not. If you are suffering from Existential Depression and feeling isolated in your struggle, write about it here. Write exactly what you feel about it. Don't give the watered down crap you give other people. Talk about exactly what it means to you. This is the most true...
    limitingmypotential limitingmypotential
    26-30, M
    2 Responses Feb 7, 2015

    If I Can't Find A Meaning To This Fearful Life, I'll Become The Enemy Of Mankind

    It is not existence itself (in the sense of conscious experience) that is the malign ulcer I seek to identify here. It is human nature, even extensive to our deficient social institutions, that are to be taken as enemy. In the face of it, our propping up of such failed...
    Madej Madej
    22-25, F
    1 Response Nov 24, 2012

    I am new, and have done a rubbish job of

    commenting so far. I am not really sure this site is for me, I no longer battle ExDep. But I know how much it hurts, and I wish there had been someone, anyone who understood it when I was experiencing it. It's awful, but if my experience can be helpful to someone, that's...
    jamaiscommelesoiseaux jamaiscommelesoiseaux
    Feb 15, 2014

    Story Of My Life...

    I've dealt with this all my life, but its been more of a process of peeling away layers until I have now  'exposed' my existential depression.  In the past I was able to cope well with it, or moreover I had no idea the concept of 'existential depression' existed but I...
    dizzybats dizzybats
    5 Responses May 27, 2010

    Need More Treatment Ideas Please!

    I have been depressed since I was around 12yrs old (I'm now 30) and have been on every silly medication known to man since I was around 18. A few hospital stays and suicide attempts later I do not seem to b making much progress. I'm hoping you guys can help me... My depression...
    iamnotmypast iamnotmypast
    26-30, F
    7 Responses Aug 7, 2009
    Sinfool13 Sinfool13
    18-21, M
    2 Responses Mar 17, 2014

    The Crushing Realization

    It started when I lost my faith in God. And it was slow, and crept up on me, and strangled me softly at first. Simple doubts about a divine creator turned into an agonizing certainty and overwhelming fear that turned me into an insomniac, gave me relentless anxiety attacks. I...
    SublimeMarrow SublimeMarrow
    18-21, F
    5 Responses Jul 8, 2012

    Continuing my last post.

    I've arrived at the point where I am now working and nothing else basically and these issues and questions are coming up again. Why? What is the point of this? I'm working at a nursery that does high end landscaping. It's hard. 10 hour days in up to 105 degree heat. Hour...
    KnaisGuy KnaisGuy
    26-30, M
    Aug 15, 2014

    I feel like the foundation of my world has

    suddenly fallen out right from underneath my unsuspecting feet. I saw a fairly depressing movie a few months ago and ever since I haven't been able to think of anything that didn't relate to existentialism and the meaning (if any) of life. At first, having suffered from clinical...
    waxpoeticwaxpathetic waxpoeticwaxpathetic
    26-30, F
    1 Response Mar 1, 2015

    The Life And Afterlife - Why

    Firstly, I would like to say hello to everyone!I would like to start with saying something that you already know as well.  None of our lives will matter in the end.Here is a little about me:I am a 39 year old (40 in two weeks - inching closer to the inevitable) father of 2.  I...
    moosemessier moosemessier
    14 Responses May 23, 2011
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