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I Battle Myself Every Day

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 316 People

    I hate this… I wish I could just run away

    sometimes and just live by myself. The minute I start to care and open my heart up and try to be normal, I realize how hurtful and awful people are. Why is it when you're going through **** I'm supposed to care and talk you through it and hold your hand and make you feel better...
    SECgirl SECgirl 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 2, 2014

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    takemeawaay takemeawaay 16-17, F 5 Responses May 29, 2014

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    Everyday i look upon the world

    and fail to see my difference. I have been called everything from A-Z. I have been betrayed numerous times and still am. I see a lonely future and I believe that's what scares me the most. Everything I seem to do always backfires and I'm on the edge of letting go.
    Drifter15 Drifter15 18-21, M Jan 6, 2014

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    I Battle Myself..

    Everyday I fight myself, not to cut, to eat, to not throw up, to not cut, to not hurt myself, to not kill myself. and I am f*cking tired of it. im so done when everyday is this MASSIVE challenge even when Im doing nothing all my effort is out into keeping me alive..
    WhenSheCries WhenSheCries 18-21, F Jun 10, 2013

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    The Fight I Can Never Ever Win...

    I battle myself everyday, from cutting to disordered eating. it's a battle I can never seem to win ever. and it's killing me slowly everyday and I know it...
    YourDisasterInEverAfter YourDisasterInEverAfter 18-21, F Jan 6, 2012

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    Insanity Defined

    weve all heard that insanity is doing the same things over and over and expecting different results .. well it is .. and even though i have built up my life multiple times i continue to tear it down with a repeated cycle of drug use thing is im 44 now and i have burned most all...
    ritzi1966 ritzi1966 41-45 Jun 12, 2011

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    keri79 keri79 31-35, F May 27, 2014

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    However cheesy or whatever this whole thing may

    sound, I feel like I need to talk about it. Being told you're skinny is maybe a compliment to some people but I absolutely hate it. Yes, I know I'm skinny and underweight, I look into the mirror every day and hate what I see. Most people my age feel the same way, whether you...
    timeofyourlifex timeofyourlifex 18-21, F 1 Response May 29, 2014

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    Wars Waged

    scene: epic battleground of your own personally epic choosing characters: me                    me                     chinchilla friend (because everyone needs a chinchilla friend and you know it) *fade in* Me faces me in the epic battle...
    fadingvioletdawn fadingvioletdawn 18-21, F Oct 5, 2011

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    Why is night time, my mind goes crazy

    and begins to make my anxiety go mental.. Making it harder for me to fight the depression I'm in. I haven't dreamt in months.. Just nightmares waking me up in cold sweats sometimes crying, or even in a panic attack. There's a lot of darkness around my heart and soul at the...
    seanv14 seanv14 26-30, M 1 Response Aug 8, 2014

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    I'm Just So F*cking Deprssed I Dont Know How Why Or When I Ended In This Situtaion Im In

    Everyday is the same.Im young with no plans.What can be worst alot more can be.I mean no ambtion in my head I want succes and happiness who doesn't right??....Never had any real thought about what I want for my life.I graduated from highschool 2 years ago and I'm turnign 20...
    lonleystoner lonleystoner 18-21, M 2 Responses Sep 24, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    DAY SEVEN1- God is in my heart always forever..2- one of my best friends said he was happy and proud of me..3- I managed to write 3 positives every day for 7 days!YEAHHHH!!! :)
    Sorrentina Sorrentina 41-45, F 5 Responses Apr 22

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    DAY EIGHTEEN1- cuddled and say I love you and watch our favourite show with my daughter..2- took the kids to the pub for lunch and played a game while waiting to be served.. Had...
    Sorrentina Sorrentina 41-45, F 1 Response 29 mins ago

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    every. freaking. day.......
    WorkInProgress2012 WorkInProgress2012 26-30, F 5 Responses Apr 7

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    How do you fight the feelings that I'm a failure in life? I'm tired of feeling like everyone is laughing at me for all I do wrong and that everything bad that happens is my fault...
    odessa94 odessa94 18-21, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    It's Monday and it prompts me to be productive. Even though I feel a bit sluggish, I remind myself that having a job helps me pay the rent, buy a bottle of beer, and boosts my self...
    Alyyeska Alyyeska 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 12

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    Over the past few weeks I have had a large jump in my weight gain. I had not weighed myself in a few days and was surprised this morning when I saw that I weighed 240 pounds. This...
    coolsean1 coolsean1 18-21, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    Day 5: Went through the entire day in the best mood because it's Friday and had a date with my most favorite person (my kid). Received a sexy email from someone I adore.... It...
    Mahal1023 Mahal1023 46-50, F 5 Responses Apr 10

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    Today I woke up thinking about what I want out of life. I realized that I have put myself in an awful situation in a relationship in my life. I have compromised what I believe in...
    Hockeyplayer56 Hockeyplayer56 46-50, M 5 days ago

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    Forgave myself for damaging furniture. Posted on ep. Still got phone charging.
    convertihd convertihd 46-50, M 1 Response Apr 24

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    Sum days i really feel down and really hate myself for so many reasons ..... I even wish tht i go sleep and never wake up i sum times think how would life be for my family if i was...
    ThisIsMe987 ThisIsMe987 16-17, F 3 Responses Apr 8

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    I always think about suicide and being bipolar doesn't help the situation...it randomly hits my thoughts when ever I'm alone like "you should totally grab that knife and stab...
    TheresAPossibility TheresAPossibility 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 15

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    Day 7: Last and final day My situation in life is so imperfect right now.... But the things that are going right.... My family and friends make me feel as if I have everything I...
    Mahal1023 Mahal1023 46-50, F 8 Responses Apr 13

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    I like the idea of positive posting! The world needs more positive things! 1. I have family that encourages me. 2. I have a cozy bed to sleep in every night. 3. Spent the day with...
    Oliviaa92 Oliviaa92 41-45, F 1 Response Apr 12

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    Okay so a little background information first... my boyfriend and I began seeing each other in June of 2012, right after I graduated highschool. right around the time I turned...
    meeeghanp77 meeeghanp77 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 20

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    Day 3: Picked my daughter up from school. Love it that she tells me about her day. Had a class last night so I had to grab take-out for dinner. Not having to cook is always a...
    Mahal1023 Mahal1023 46-50, F 3 Responses Apr 9

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    Day 4: A co-worker bought me lunch today. Another long, over-scheduled day so I had to grab take- out for dinner again. Another night of no cooking. While it drizzled on and...
    Mahal1023 Mahal1023 46-50, F 3 Responses Apr 9

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    Day 6: Woke up to a beautiful sunny day!! Excited that Spring weather has finally arrived. Paid bills. Grateful I had the money to pay for them. My sister texted me a picture...
    Mahal1023 Mahal1023 46-50, F 7 Responses Apr 11

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    1. Had everyone I love under one roof! 2. Celebrate one year with boyfriend 3. Woke up in the best moods 4. Feel blessed 5. I know that I am loved 6. Being told I am important
    Oliviaa92 Oliviaa92 41-45, F 1 Response Apr 12

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    Day #2 Went to the Poleet Strawberry Festival. Had an all girls day. Spoke to mom for an hour.
    complex7 complex7 31-35, F 1 Response Apr 12

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    DAY FOUR1- had a nice steak and mushroom pie at the pub2- visited my father in law3- didn't cry the whole day! 
    Sorrentina Sorrentina 41-45, F 7 Responses Apr 19

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    1. It's Sunday and I am in the company of my family. We usually cook special traditional meals when most of us are around. Our house is full of people chattering and making jokes...
    Alyyeska Alyyeska 26-30, F 2 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    Day 1 Today I saw this experience and decided to add it to the many experiences I already have. 1. Enjoyed a great talk with a close friend this morning over breakfast. 2...
    Mahal1023 Mahal1023 46-50, F 4 Responses Apr 6

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    Day 2: Yesterday morning I over-slept but woke up feeling rested and relaxed. Ate Lindt chocolate truffles. They were divine. Haven't eaten or drank anything made with...
    Mahal1023 Mahal1023 46-50, F 4 Responses Apr 8

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    Day #1 Went cycling after a long hiatus. My bum is sore but I feel great. Saw a beautiful white butterfly.. my favorite thing ever. Felt loved by my mother and brother.
    complex7 complex7 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 10

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    Any day, any hour, or anytimes throughout the day. I am constantly thinking about you. And miss you when I can't have you, but that just makes my heart fonder of you. Thinking...
    Kman4You Kman4You 36-40, M Apr 10

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    It's my day off so I slept more and got up later than usual. Last night I drank apple flavored beer and ate some fries on the side with my co-workers. It's always good to unwind...
    Alyyeska Alyyeska 26-30, F Apr 11

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    I once really struggled with body image, I hated my body, even though I was skinny, then I started drinking, and on piled the weight. I realized, I was happier with the extra...
    BasicallyFat BasicallyFat 22-25, F 9 Responses Apr 14

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    DAY ONE1- I went to therapy..2- I made quiches for tea..3- I told the girl at MacDonalds that she was doing a good job.. That was just after the lady in front of me had been rude...
    Sorrentina Sorrentina 41-45, F 5 Responses Apr 16

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    DAY TWO1- Met an EP friend in real life for the first time.2- My husband and children like him3- Resisted to temptation
    Sorrentina Sorrentina 41-45, F 7 Responses Apr 17

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    DAY THREE1- took my friend for a drive2- held hands with him while walking3- the garden got well watered by the rain
    Sorrentina Sorrentina 41-45, F 3 Responses Apr 18

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    DAY FIVE1- went to give some kids clothes to my son's friend's little   sister and had a cup of tea with their mum..2- my friends, Bob and Chris, helped me cope with life.3...
    Sorrentina Sorrentina 41-45, F 2 Responses Apr 20

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