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I Battle Myself Every Day

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 321 People

    I Battle Myself..

    Everyday I fight myself, not to cut, to eat, to not throw up, to not cut, to not hurt myself, to not kill myself. and I am f*cking tired of it. im so done when everyday is this MASSIVE challenge even when Im doing nothing all my effort is out into keeping me alive..
    WhenSheCries WhenSheCries 18-21, F Jun 10, 2013

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    Insanity Defined

    weve all heard that insanity is doing the same things over and over and expecting different results .. well it is .. and even though i have built up my life multiple times i continue to tear it down with a repeated cycle of drug use thing is im 44 now and i have burned most all...
    ritzi1966 ritzi1966 41-45 Jun 12, 2011

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    However cheesy or whatever this whole thing may

    sound, I feel like I need to talk about it. Being told you're skinny is maybe a compliment to some people but I absolutely hate it. Yes, I know I'm skinny and underweight, I look into the mirror every day and hate what I see. Most people my age feel the same way, whether you...
    timeofyourlifex timeofyourlifex 18-21, F 1 Response May 29, 2014

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    I hate this… I wish I could just run away

    sometimes and just live by myself. The minute I start to care and open my heart up and try to be normal, I realize how hurtful and awful people are. Why is it when you're going through **** I'm supposed to care and talk you through it and hold your hand and make you feel better...
    SECgirl SECgirl 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 2, 2014

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    The Fight I Can Never Ever Win...

    I battle myself everyday, from cutting to disordered eating. it's a battle I can never seem to win ever. and it's killing me slowly everyday and I know it...
    YourDisasterInEverAfter YourDisasterInEverAfter 18-21, F Jan 6, 2012

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    Why is night time, my mind goes crazy

    and begins to make my anxiety go mental.. Making it harder for me to fight the depression I'm in. I haven't dreamt in months.. Just nightmares waking me up in cold sweats sometimes crying, or even in a panic attack. There's a lot of darkness around my heart and soul at the...
    seanv14 seanv14 26-30, M 1 Response Aug 8, 2014

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    I'm Just So F*cking Deprssed I Dont Know How Why Or When I Ended In This Situtaion Im In

    Everyday is the same.Im young with no plans.What can be worst alot more can be.I mean no ambtion in my head I want succes and happiness who doesn't right??....Never had any real thought about what I want for my life.I graduated from highschool 2 years ago and I'm turnign 20...
    lonleystoner lonleystoner 18-21, M 2 Responses Sep 24, 2012

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    takemeawaay takemeawaay 16-17, F 5 Responses May 29, 2014

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    Everyday i look upon the world

    and fail to see my difference. I have been called everything from A-Z. I have been betrayed numerous times and still am. I see a lonely future and I believe that's what scares me the most. Everything I seem to do always backfires and I'm on the edge of letting go.
    Drifter15 Drifter15 18-21, M Jan 6, 2014

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    keri79 keri79 36-40, F May 27, 2014

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    Wars Waged

    scene: epic battleground of your own personally epic choosing characters: me                    me                     chinchilla friend (because everyone needs a chinchilla friend and you know it) *fade in* Me faces me in the epic battle...
    fadingvioletdawn fadingvioletdawn 18-21, F Oct 5, 2011

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    Related Experiences

    DAY SEVENTY SEVEN1-my best friend is helping me not to drown,,🚣🏻2- I met my postman three times today..his call...3- kids were good, but the oldest one lazy..4- I have a...
    Sorrentina Sorrentina 46-50, F 1 Response 11 hrs ago

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    DAY 6 ^v^: At work we had a brief talk on how to resolve employee conflict.... Breaking down the difference between peace keeping and peace making... I am a strong woman...
    MissGotHerGroove MissGotHerGroove 41-45, F 2 Responses 16 hrs ago

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    DAY SEVENTY SIX1- writing positives while crying2- learnt a good lesson today, but will certainly make the same mistake again3- got a treat for my children4- had lunch with George5...
    Sorrentina Sorrentina 46-50, F 5 Responses 1 day ago

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    DAY 5 : Made a new friend today... a beautiful big soul from Georgia... I absolutely love her posts... i read them with a sense of i have already been where she is ... it's really...
    MissGotHerGroove MissGotHerGroove 41-45, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    Gained some by letting go, then more on purpose. Once I hit 220 there was no going back to my thin fit days. I lost a few from my high weight, but I am binging and gaining again...
    person12670 person12670 31-35, M 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    Day 4: still off from work, return tomorrow, but well rested. Ate a radish sandwich made from the garden. Going swimming now.
    jaymepopejoy jaymepopejoy 56-60, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    DAY SEVENTY FIVE1- I gave to charity2- I hugged my postman3- friends brought comfort to me today4- did washing and shopping5- I need Jesus close..I love Him so much!
    Sorrentina Sorrentina 46-50, F 5 Responses 2 days ago

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    Here's my channel URL: https://www.youtube.com/c/SofiaRiveraVideos I have posted a few videos for school projects, but my channel from now on will mostly be music-related. Some...
    nerdfighter314 nerdfighter314 16-17, F 3 days ago

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    DAY 2: 1. I can sleep at night even when there's chest pain and all those symptoms. And could go back to sleep after woken up at 5 AM till around 6 AM. So it's more than 7 hours...
    Nual Nual 22-25, F 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    Day 3: day off, rested well, wrote poetry Ate fresh corn on the cob and green grapes, don't have any crying tears today, Amen
    jaymepopejoy jaymepopejoy 56-60, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    Day 3: A friend i cherish wrote * Life is mysterious* . . Back to me. . Made me smile. . We had a moment of understanding both easy and effortless . 2) I had a plate of apple...
    MissGotHerGroove MissGotHerGroove 41-45, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    DAY 1 I can't think of three positive things to write about but I'm still smiling and laughing so it'll be okay will try again tomorrow.
    Nual Nual 22-25, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    DAY SEVENTY THREE1- went to the pub for free meals with my daughter2- met the postman twice for hugs3- I just need Jesus to carry me..4- got nice messages from close friends
    Sorrentina Sorrentina 46-50, F 7 Responses 4 days ago

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    Day 2: It's my day off. Not doing much of anything, but for comforting myself. Going swimming, and going on the motor scooter after months of waiting for the broken foot to...
    jaymepopejoy jaymepopejoy 56-60, F 4 Responses 4 days ago

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    DAY TWO : Had an asthma attack. . . Wheezed and coughed until morning. . .But i made it. . New day! 2) Watching the sunrise. . . Am in awe.... 3) A bowl of cereal never tasted so...
    MissGotHerGroove MissGotHerGroove 41-45, F 3 Responses 4 days ago

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    DAY SEVENTY TWO1- my son cooked fried rice for tea2- met the postman3- prayed at church4- I have the best daughter!5- Jesus loves us all
    Sorrentina Sorrentina 46-50, F 3 Responses 5 days ago

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    DAY ONE. . . . 1) I watched the Real Housewives of Atlanta. . Just learnt that a grown man called Chocolate, is sprinkled in the drama. . A reason to giggle 2) Said no to a...
    MissGotHerGroove MissGotHerGroove 41-45, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    Day one: God brought me to a better job regardless of less pay, because happiness is based on less stress, more respect & no bully boss. My children grew to be healthy, productive...
    jaymepopejoy jaymepopejoy 56-60, F 3 Responses 5 days ago

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    It doesn't happened often. Sometimes it strikes me and I don't know why. I just hate myself. I see myself as pathetic and degrading. I have things people will never get and I know...
    cloudycarnage cloudycarnage 16-17, M 1 Response 6 days ago

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    DAY SEVENTY ONE1- cleaned up all under the house with my husband and kids2- kids played well together3- Jesus is cuddling me as I need it so much! 
    Sorrentina Sorrentina 46-50, F 3 Responses 6 days ago

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    DAY SEVENTY1- postman came to hug me. I asked if I had any mail.. He said it was in my letter box.. LAME!! Yet... :)2- spent time I the shed with Terry..3- my 15 y o son hugged me...
    Sorrentina Sorrentina 46-50, F 2 Responses a week ago

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    DAY SIXXTY NINE1- wrote a note for the postman and he stuck a smiley face on my mail...which I stuck on the back of my phone.2- went to therapy3- kids got good school report4- I...
    Sorrentina Sorrentina 46-50, F 4 Responses Jun 25

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    DAY SIXTY EIGHT1- I wrote a note to the postman that said:'Keep dry! Have a nice day! PS: no bills please!' And when I went and got the mail, there was only one envelope so I...
    Sorrentina Sorrentina 46-50, F 2 Responses Jun 24

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    DAY SIXTY SEVEN1- walked to church and lit some candles for my EP friends and all the others2- took photos of flowers on my way back to the mechanic3- Jesus is carrying me as I can...
    Sorrentina Sorrentina 46-50, F 5 Responses Jun 23

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    A perfect, tiny doll-like creature named Mohamed came into the world today out of screams and agony. My hands were the first to hold him! I approached his little innocent head and...
    weirdWorks4me weirdWorks4me 22-25, F Jun 22

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    DAY SIXTY SIX1- cleaned up a bit in the house, more than usual2- sorted out all the washing3- talked with friends online4- God says that things will be ok..
    Sorrentina Sorrentina 46-50, F 3 Responses Jun 22

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    DAY SIXTY FIVE1- my best friend could chat with me2- my daughter found a bunch of photos of me when I was a child..3- my son made some ginger biscuits4- I made letter soup for my...
    Sorrentina Sorrentina 46-50, F 5 Responses Jun 21

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    With Father's Day tomorrow, I was thinking on this subject. My father, to this day, tells me he loves me at least once every day that we see each other or talk on the phone. When...
    lostit77 lostit77 46-50, F 3 Responses Jun 20

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    My pal helped me do laundry. Found myself pacing like he does but was glad to since violent tantrum was the option. Got real meat from his pals plus amenities to cook or nuke...
    Converted Converted 46-50, M Jun 20

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    DAY SIXTY FOUR1- went to the pub for lunch with Terry and all the children2- talked to friends3- went to visit George4- my mum phoned5-Jesus is holding my hand..
    Sorrentina Sorrentina 46-50, F 3 Responses Jun 20

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    DAY SIXTY THREE:1- rested all day2- my son got first in his class for his math test :)3- the postman took the note I left for him at my letter box, saying:'I owe you a hug!'4- I...
    Sorrentina Sorrentina 46-50, F 4 Responses Jun 19

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