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I Battle Myself Every Day

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 322 People

    I Battle Myself..

    Everyday I fight myself, not to cut, to eat, to not throw up, to not cut, to not hurt myself, to not kill myself. and I am f*cking tired of it. im so done when everyday is this MASSIVE challenge even when Im doing nothing all my effort is out into keeping me alive..
    WhenSheCries WhenSheCries 18-21, F Jun 10, 2013

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    Why is night time, my mind goes crazy

    and begins to make my anxiety go mental.. Making it harder for me to fight the depression I'm in. I haven't dreamt in months.. Just nightmares waking me up in cold sweats sometimes crying, or even in a panic attack. There's a lot of darkness around my heart and soul at the...
    seanv14 seanv14 26-30, M 1 Response Aug 8, 2014

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    Insanity Defined

    weve all heard that insanity is doing the same things over and over and expecting different results .. well it is .. and even though i have built up my life multiple times i continue to tear it down with a repeated cycle of drug use thing is im 44 now and i have burned most all...
    ritzi1966 ritzi1966 41-45 Jun 12, 2011

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    Everyday i look upon the world

    and fail to see my difference. I have been called everything from A-Z. I have been betrayed numerous times and still am. I see a lonely future and I believe that's what scares me the most. Everything I seem to do always backfires and I'm on the edge of letting go.
    Drifter15 Drifter15 18-21, M Jan 6, 2014

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    I hate this… I wish I could just run away

    sometimes and just live by myself. The minute I start to care and open my heart up and try to be normal, I realize how hurtful and awful people are. Why is it when you're going through **** I'm supposed to care and talk you through it and hold your hand and make you feel better...
    SECgirl SECgirl 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 2, 2014

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    I'm Just So F*cking Deprssed I Dont Know How Why Or When I Ended In This Situtaion Im In

    Everyday is the same.Im young with no plans.What can be worst alot more can be.I mean no ambtion in my head I want succes and happiness who doesn't right??....Never had any real thought about what I want for my life.I graduated from highschool 2 years ago and I'm turnign 20...
    lonleystoner lonleystoner 18-21, M 2 Responses Sep 24, 2012

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    takemeawaay takemeawaay 16-17, F 5 Responses May 29, 2014

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    Wars Waged

    scene: epic battleground of your own personally epic choosing characters: me                    me                     chinchilla friend (because everyone needs a chinchilla friend and you know it) *fade in* Me faces me in the epic battle...
    fadingvioletdawn fadingvioletdawn 18-21, F Oct 5, 2011

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    keri79 keri79 31-35, F May 27, 2014

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    However cheesy or whatever this whole thing may

    sound, I feel like I need to talk about it. Being told you're skinny is maybe a compliment to some people but I absolutely hate it. Yes, I know I'm skinny and underweight, I look into the mirror every day and hate what I see. Most people my age feel the same way, whether you...
    timeofyourlifex timeofyourlifex 18-21, F 1 Response May 29, 2014

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    The Fight I Can Never Ever Win...

    I battle myself everyday, from cutting to disordered eating. it's a battle I can never seem to win ever. and it's killing me slowly everyday and I know it...
    YourDisasterInEverAfter YourDisasterInEverAfter 18-21, F Jan 6, 2012

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    Today was just another Sunday. It was unusually cold for Texas, and the pitter-patter of rain could be heard outside of my window. As I listened to the rain, I rolled over in bed...
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    The life is all about that, right? Being at least a step further now as you was yesterday. Improving yourself by sensing, experiencing and doing things you've never done before...
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    Some days I can look in the mirror and say I'm pretty and I like me. Other days I can't stand myself. I ask myself "why are you such an @sshole?" I'm not an @sshole all the time...
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    I just started back cutting again, I'm just not strong enough to deal with all this pain inside me and it's killing me inside. I'm back to my sad old self, I have my sleepless...
    SweetcakesJr SweetcakesJr 13-15, F 1 Response Jan 12

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    I've been dehydrated my whole life. My body doesn't tell me I need to drink until my mouth is so dry it's difficult to taste. I'm pretty sure my body fails to release whatever the...
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    Is it the same with anyone else? When I daydream, I daydream about the same thing over and over again, but with minor changes. And it just involves the same thing. It's really fun...
    Weirdestone Weirdestone 16-17, F Jan 2

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    Two situations. The need to calm down and the need to go to sleep. Basically constructive daydreaming. LOL Redirecting the thoughts to a happy subject rather than the futile...
    justNIK justNIK 41-45, F 2 Responses Jan 2

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    I like to day dream my self as an hero or some type of badass Lol anyone else do the same?
    charlieean charlieean 16-17, M Jan 3

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    most days bring new challenging experiences in to my life. it is a struggle to face the world everyday feeling like a failure. it is even harder when folks look up to you are a...
    tsnuggles tsnuggles 36-40, F 5 days ago

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    This group name made me laugh a bit when I saw it. Not because people's stories and everything. But because it's true. Since the day we were born we started dying. So yes, everyday...
    wedgieshurtalot wedgieshurtalot 16-17, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    The day I stop learning will be the day I die, and that won't be by choice (or at least, that's the plan!). If you open your eyes and mind, the world is full of information you...
    jahosijhs jahosijhs 26-30, M Jan 1

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    about to burn a kush joint right now. everyone have an awesome day. love from the chi
    a1geekysteezy a1geekysteezy 22-25, M 2 days ago

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    I'm starting to be only attracted to females and good friends with males with each day going by:)
    lizmcfee lizmcfee 22-25, F 1 Response Jan 3

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    My mother has bipolar and sometimes admits it. Most of the time she won't. Two days ago she threatened to kill herself if I didn't give into her demands. She puts herself in...
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    I just am…. it is so strange. The other day I was even watching football!
    Diginator Diginator 70+, M 1 Response Jan 8

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    I made a deal. 3x a day. Morning, afternoon, and night. Try it if you only do it one or two times. That third makes all the difference
    NewBeginnings5 NewBeginnings5 22-25 2 Responses Jan 14

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    I don't wear girdles everyday, but I often wear an OBG to hold up my nylons under my male clothing at work. In colder weather I ofter wear a LLPG
    CindyCD478 CindyCD478 41-45, T 8 Responses Jan 16

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    This pretty much wraps up my days...pic inside
    NewBeginnings5 NewBeginnings5 22-25 Jan 24

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    This should be a compulsory subject in school!!!!! The pleasure derived from this activity cannot be adequately expressed in words. In my youth once a day was not enough.
    willylover1 willylover1 61-65, M 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    One again. I dumped something on me this morning waking me up and instead of hearing ,"are you okay". I hear,"great going." It just proves to me how much my family cares about...
    kpfoster1985 kpfoster1985 13-15, M 1 Response Jan 11

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    This is all I can do lately. I really just can't stand reality and I'm all alone again. I don't know what I'm going to do... I can try and do something but it's just so unlikely...
    TheFemaleGrimReaper TheFemaleGrimReaper 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 3

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    I don't know what to do.I had some stuff happen that caused me to leave for a while. I finally got back and one of the few people that understood and accepted me won't speak to me...
    Joshuawt Joshuawt 31-35, M 1 Response 4 days ago

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    melymay melymay 22-25, F Jan 1

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    I always felt if you're not learning, you're stagnating.
    SnowCrow SnowCrow 31-35, M Jan 5

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    House Cleaning!! Got TONS of undies, still with very serviceable life left in them, to go to a good home - all kinds from basic FTL's to some great colored Honors bikinis that...
    billytex1 billytex1 61-65, M Jan 10

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    I have worn white briefs exclusively since I was a boy. I am 51 now. First I do when I get home from work is to ***** down to my briefs for the remainder of the evening. It was...
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    I do. it's true. no one feels worse than you. you think. you're dead. I'm alive only in my head. I sink. sink deep. silently as I think. alone. my throne. my blood turns a light...
    debonaireash debonaireash 18-21, M 6 days ago

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    Well the name sorta explains it all
    idkanythinganymore idkanythinganymore 18-21, F 6 days ago

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    Still wear them don't like it hanging loose while doing sports
    whitietighties whitietighties 22-25, M 1 Response 5 days ago

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    I cant bear all this why am i the 1???the pple i loved @EP now turn their backs on me ...i give u my love and trust bt what happened??....
    Benshee Benshee 22-25, F 2 days ago

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    I need sex I'm done using my hand I need a boy that lives in California near Napa and that would let me **** him. I want a boy that would let me rim him. I really love sex. Even...
    brosky144 brosky144 16-17, M 1 day ago

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    Depression has been a part of my life since I was 11 years old, when I was diagnosed as Manic Depressive and prescribed Sertraline (Zoloft) to help manage it. Since then, it has...
    Boulier Boulier 18-21, F Jan 18

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    I have a hard time to do certain things, like stick to a diet. I don't care about my weight unless I realize my old dress doesn't fit or somebody in my close circle tells me I am...
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