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I Battle Self Hatred

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    I Have Thrown My Life Away

    My self hatred has caused me to spiral down hill repeatedly because I don't care about myself at all.. It hurts the ppl I love when they heard say that but they know its true.. My actions show it to he a fact.. Now I have thrown my life away and key my hate take over
    EmilyLynn21 EmilyLynn21 26-30, F 2 Responses Aug 2, 2013

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    Why Do I Have To Be Me?

    I dislike everything about myself there's not one thing that I actually like im not pretty enough I'm extremely selfish and I'm never happy even tho I really don't have any problems... I can't think of a time in my life where I was truly happy and content with my life even when I...
    HeavenXD HeavenXD 13-15, F 2 Responses Oct 9, 2012

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    On a daily basis. Granted I have worked on

    changing my train of thought for the last couple of years but when you live most of your life with negative thoughts it's hard to change them. So it's an inner battle with myself. I guess the negative thoughts are just easier for me to believe than the positive...
    acquiredtaste acquiredtaste 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 7

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    Self-hatred

    I HATE MYSELF TO THE VERY INNER-CORE OF MY EXISTENCE. I AM NOT EXACTLY SURE WHY, EITHER. I HATE THE WAY I LOOK, ITS WHY I DON'T EAT MUCH, AND WHEN I DO, I USUALLY PURGE. I HATE MY SHY, EAASILY INJURED PERSONALITY, ITS ONE OF THE REASONS I CUT/BURN MYSELF. I HATE THAT I DON'T...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Feb 7, 2013

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    It Feels Good

    When everything else you feel makes you feel horrible and there's one thing that makes you feel good I say do it. But I am a coward not worthy being listened to by satan. I hate myself I can't sleep I think of every bad thing in my life it has to be me. It mug be my fault my dad...
    Feb 8, 2013

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    My Self Hatred

    I hate myself, I want to bleed, I cry at night, longing to be freed. I think of death, there’s so much pain, I’m losing myself, I’m going insane. I cut myself, because I binged and purged, I do it every day, whenever I get the urge. I feel so ugly, and so fat, Life...
    gentlyyours gentlyyours 18-21, F 3 Responses Apr 23, 2012

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    I think about killing myself every day.

    I hate being so ugly and worthless. I wish I would just to avoid any unnecessary guilt. It isn't like I chose to be alive anyway, but if I could have chosen I would have stayed as I was before ever being. The world owes me nothing, and nothingness will swallow me, I just wish I...
    sunkern sunkern 18-21, M 1 Response Aug 14

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    I Hate Everything About Me!

    I'm a typical teen. I think im too fat at one point and too skinny the next. I just wish i looked like someone pretty, i wish i was like everyone else, just i hate myself. It got to the point where i got tagged as having a eating disorder and was sent to hospital, but i still...
    bunnymoney2 bunnymoney2 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 20, 2012

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    I'm A Candle.

    Sometimes I feel like a candle, on a path to self-destruction. In the desperate attempt to keep the flame of life going, I'm only just stripping myself away; I'm melting in my own tears of wax which I cry. Eventually, I'll fade out into the darkness in which I spawned from.
    SkinnyThoughtsAndRedLipstick SkinnyThoughtsAndRedLipstick 16-17, F 2 Responses Mar 20, 2013

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    I feel a burning sensation inside me,

    it's a hatred for myself. I'm forgotten about. My behavior is abnormal. I hate my body, it makes me want to throw up. I have no ambition whatsoever. I just want everything I hate to erode me away. I wish I was dead, more than anything in the world. I've grown numb, want to die...
    blitzd blitzd 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 1

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    I Don't Even Really Remember When...

    I don't even really remember when I began to hate myself. I must have been pretty young. I have the "normal" or "more common" things that I hate about myself. I hate my weight, hair, how much money I have, my face. Stuff like that. But I also suffer from physical problems that...
    yolorwatson yolorwatson 18-21, F 3 Responses Dec 27, 2012

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    I Don't Know Why....

    I don't know why I constantly tell myself that Im not good enough. I have a wonderfull fiance who loves me very much. I have a good family, good friends. But everyday no matter what Im doing or who Im with I always have a little voice in my head reminding me of all the things I...
    ToriiiBabiii ToriiiBabiii 18-21 1 Response Dec 30, 2011

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    My Self Hatred

    I've kinda allowed it to build over many years and i have to say its become a problem. I currently have manged to get a grip on some things like goals and plans but its all this other crap that i've allowed to fester that is buggin me. I personally desipse and hate and loathe...
    animalman18 animalman18 18-21, M May 26, 2011

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    Read

    my wounds are healed, but the memories remain of that story
    thompson21 thompson21 26-30, M Apr 6, 2013

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    Life As A Pumpkin......

    I was thinking one day while i was eating w/ my family, I am like a Pumpkin. A pumpkin has nothing inside but yet holds it's self up. You carve it to be what you want to see.... And that is what i did with myself. I carved PUMPKIN into my leg so i could see just how empty i was...
    blueyedgirl17 blueyedgirl17 13-15, F 2 Responses Mar 19, 2013

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    When The Hatred Scars

    Truthfully, I don't even remember when I began hating myself. I remember its been a while though. Maybe it was the bullying in school or the low self esteem but it progressively for worse. I began cutting my wrists because I wasn't the "pretty" "skinny" girl. In middle school, I...
    Jan 15, 2013

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    I wouldn't say HATE because God made me,

    I could never hate one of his creations but I've been through a lot and I was always the blame for why certain things happened to me so I tend to now blame myself. Everything is always my fault in my head and it's hard to like yourself when no one else does. I wonder if I'm a...
    gardengirl17 gardengirl17 22-25, F Jun 24

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    Hurt

    I hate feeling this hatred towards everyone especially my finace. Ive been hurt in my life and i dont know how to let go of my hate for people. i hurt those closest to me and make them cry. it hurts me knowing i have that ability to do that to people. my finace has been with me...
    sadbaby103 sadbaby103 18-21, F Feb 25, 2013

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    I'm so mean to myself.

    If someone were to ask me one thing I like about myself, I wouldn't be able to come up with anything. When people compliment me, I usually say thank you, but I think about how wrong they are for a long time afterwards. I want to love myself, but people have abused me for so...
    x0UnionJack0x x0UnionJack0x 22-25, F May 14

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    I Want To Help

    hey im aleks and i want to help anyone if you want it. just message me or add me. i will listen to what ever problem
    mindinthesky mindinthesky 16-17, M 2 Responses May 12, 2013

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    I Hate Me

    I'm a fat ******* pig I'm lazy and obnoxious and weak and unattractive and inhuman and dispationet I'm not sure why I'm posting this For attention maybe But I thought if try something befor cutting this time
    moccasandy moccasandy 16-17, M 1 Response Nov 22, 2013

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    I hate myself soooo much.

    Like nobody understand how much I do. I hate every single inch of my body. Who would ever love me again? I'm covered in scars. Estimated scars: 480 And my stupid body thinks it good enough but I know in the back of my mind it's really not.
    MichaelOKBurns MichaelOKBurns 13-15, M 2 Responses Dec 4, 2013

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    I thought I was getting over this .

    .. depression... but it isnt easy.. it's hard.. i have friends who help me and i help them... but I dont know what's going on with me.. something is wrong with me
    yeahohwell yeahohwell 13-15, F May 18

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    Not A Self Hater... Just Trying To Help

    Http://shrink4men.wordpress.com/2010/01/04/healthy-self-love -the-foundation-of-good-relationships/ I honestly think a shrink for men is misleading because this is much more prevalent among women. http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/how-to-love-yourself-even-if-no-one...
    ManifestoOfThePhoenix ManifestoOfThePhoenix 26-30, M Nov 19, 2011

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    The Monster Called Hate

    I wake up every morning dreading the day ahead. I work a job I hate to make money to fund the job i will hate for the next 60 years. I live with people i hate because i can't afford to leave this behind. Most of all I'm scared. Terrified that one day i'm going to be so alone i...
    AliveInTheLights AliveInTheLights 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 18, 2012

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    Disgust.

    I've always hated how I looked. I never thought I was thin enough, or that my stomach was flat enough. There was always someone else that was better. It only got worse after having a kid. I walk past a mirror, or any reflective surface, and grimace because what I see disgusts me...
    kellbell0629 kellbell0629 26-30 May 17, 2013

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    It's Not Fair To Cry In Your Sleep.

    I hate myself. I've been in and out of therapy since I was 17 and I'm now 23. I'm afraid it's never going to go away. I've never been in a relationship with a guy before and when one shows interest in me I become a *****. I'm rude to them to turn them off, but it's not them, it's...
    crystalrain87 crystalrain87 22-25, F 4 Responses Nov 18, 2011

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    Hate

    i used to like myself, when i was in high school maybe. i was over weight and happy with myself even tho i was. then i left to go to a treatment place for over a year and i developed an eating disorder that made me go from 250lbs to 130lbs. i don't like the way i look, probably...
    Spilled Spilled 22-25, F Sep 27, 2013

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    I'M Done

    I am tired of the pain, the thoughts, and the self hate. I feel horrible inside. I have hated myself since I was 8. I hate the people at school. I'm not a lesbian, yet I have nothing against gays. I am not a *****. I am just a 13 year old girl trying to survive. It's becoming...
    Feb 9, 2013

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    I Keep It All Inside...

    They tell me I'm pretty...They tell me I'm a good person...They tell me I'm an honest person...But do they really know I"m a liar...I'm ugly...I'm not lovable enough for you to except me....I want so much to tell them I'm a liar...because of those lies I feel hatred for myself...
    XxlostxsoulxX7 XxlostxsoulxX7 13-15 2 Responses Feb 11, 2010

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    I Base My Self-esteem On Others Alot.

    People are very weird with me.  I get alot of attention and am told I am pretty, but lots of people don't seem to like me.  I feel like I don't really connect with others and I always feel like people don't want to include me in their conversations.   ...
    patchworkofmistakes patchworkofmistakes 26-30, F 5 Responses Feb 10, 2010

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    looking in the mirror makes me cringe i hate

    myself to such a extent and it kills me. i feel like no one could ever like me which i believe no one does. 16 ive never been kissed or had a boyfriend, my hairs too short and im too fat for anyone to find me decent looking i cant stand myself most times i disgust myself i dont...
    mariie97 mariie97 16-17, F 2 Responses Jan 22

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    Why Can'T I Just Appreciate Life?

    So I guess that I just don't appreciate life right now, I mean right now things are good I've finished my exams and have a job for summer, but I still feel dark and empty inside, I just feel cold and I'm not really living life ... just passing through. I'm just feeling that no...
    TheDarkClaw TheDarkClaw 18-21, F Jun 6, 2013

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    Self-hating Phases

    I went through different phases of hating myself.. The first phase, which started 3 years ago was hating the way I look.. I was even paranoid that people would look and criticise at what I wear.. (in fact people never.. EVER.. does) It took me two years to realise people are...
    amejad amejad 22-25, F 2 Responses Jun 6, 2010

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    I Am Truly Disgusting

    I was a horny teenager and I wanted to lose my virginity. I wanted to throw it away. So I used the Internet, made friends with horny guys and sent them nude pictures. I'm a dirty good for nothing ****. They wanted me. They all wanted me and I thought it was so great but then when...
    ginger1776 ginger1776 18-21, F 3 Responses May 21, 2012

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    Overcoming Self-hatred

    I have had feelings of self-hatred as long as I remember. I was an overweight, intelligent child with glasses, teacher's pet, etc. My family and peers judged me for my weight. I turned that judgment inward. I turned to food for comfort and gained more weight. The self-hatred has...
    kerowyn kerowyn 31-35, F 2 Responses Aug 18, 2010

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    The Bliss Of Oblivion

    My tears are trapped within me like a sad story I must tell, and they gush forth at the most inappropriate times. But who am I to tell it to? Nobody cares enough to listen, and I don't blame them. If I see no worth than others should not be expected to.I hate myself; the way I...
    pathtoforgiveness pathtoforgiveness 22-25 1 Response Feb 10, 2010

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    musiclover1997 musiclover1997 18-21, F Mar 12

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    I Hate Myself So Much.

    Every day I look at myself and feel sick.My boyfriend always tells me i'm beautiful, i'm this - i'm that. And I keep having to tell him that it doesn't matter what he says or how often he says it I will never take it in or believe him.I've self harmed in many ways...
    Popkins Popkins 22-25, F 4 Responses Jan 4, 2010

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    Why Hate Thyself

    Hate is a powerful word. The dictionary defines "hate" as: [The emotion of intense dislike; a feeling of dislike so strong that it demands action]. In my experience I remember doing many thing throughout the past that I disapproved of. That is right I "disapproved" of my actions...
    wherewerewe wherewerewe 46-50, M Dec 13, 2012

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    Sadness

    i have derided once more to change my death date but this time i don't know what to change it to... i have a friend now and i don't think its right just to leave him i don't think he'll leave me ether i hope this isn't a trick if it is nothing will stop me after i find out...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Apr 3, 2013

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    TeddyOrTeddie TeddyOrTeddie 13-15, M Jun 24

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    I'm My Worst Enemy

    I am the worst to myself. When people do things to me, i always feel i deserved it or it's my fault and i internalize everything and anything. It's a deadly cycle. I hate everything look wise about myself. I'm ugly, fat, worthless and in the past i thought i should've died but...
    Findyourself9 Findyourself9 18-21, F Jul 9, 2012

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    Eyesore By Maria Mena

    The ugly naked truth She starves me of my youth And I stand alone until You catch on I swear it’s not by choice But Ana has this voice And it calms me down It gives me purpose And it’s alright I’m alright I want to be ok I’ve seen it before This eyesore, it’s...
    righteouschica righteouschica 18-21, F Nov 18, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    Before reading this, please go read my other experience project from being a compulsive liar. This isn't the main key of my self hatred but I can understand it being the main key...
    Binkyboo12 Binkyboo12 22-25 1 Response Aug 5

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    I was always the happy girl The one that cheered everybody up But behind my smile is a diffrent story One ive never told before I told my bestfriend She told the whole school...
    katysecret123 katysecret123 16-17, F Aug 1

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    New levels of self loathing will be reached before the end of the night🔪
    nohopekid nohopekid 18-21, M 4 days ago

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    Ever since I was young I have not liked myself. I've always been called stupid, ugly, fat, you name it and I've probably been called it (even by family and friends.) It hurts me so...
    depressedandhurting depressedandhurting 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 29

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    I've always known the feeling of claustrophobia ever since I was young. When I was a young boy If I was to be say closed in cupboard for a few seconds by my big sister I would get...
    bananaman1uk bananaman1uk 26-30, M Aug 3

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    The only thing that keeps my mind off of each and one of them for a small amount of time is Two Door Cinema Club
    OutOfTheOrdinary OutOfTheOrdinary 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 18

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    Dealing with my boyfriend being gone for months and months, ontop of a depression I can't seem to get out off, seems to be causing some problems. I hate feeling that I m not good...
    hnj320 hnj320 22-25, F Aug 18

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    The other band that help with the following for me
    OutOfTheOrdinary OutOfTheOrdinary 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 20

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