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I Battle Self Hatred

Daily... 693 People

    MikeOkBurns MikeOkBurns 16-17, M Dec 7

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    Hurt

    I hate feeling this hatred towards everyone especially my finace. Ive been hurt in my life and i dont know how to let go of my hate for people. i hurt those closest to me and make them cry. it hurts me knowing i have that ability to do that to people. my finace has been with me...
    sadbaby103 sadbaby103 18-21, F Feb 25, 2013

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    I hate myself soooo much.

    Like nobody understand how much I do. I hate every single inch of my body. Who would ever love me again? I'm covered in scars. Estimated scars: 480 And my stupid body thinks it good enough but I know in the back of my mind it's really not.
    MikeOkBurns MikeOkBurns 16-17, M 2 Responses Dec 4, 2013

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    I wouldn't say HATE because God made me,

    I could never hate one of his creations but I've been through a lot and I was always the blame for why certain things happened to me so I tend to now blame myself. Everything is always my fault in my head and it's hard to like yourself when no one else does. I wonder if I'm a...
    gardengirl17 gardengirl17 22-25, F Jun 24

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    I'm so mean to myself.

    If someone were to ask me one thing I like about myself, I wouldn't be able to come up with anything. When people compliment me, I usually say thank you, but I think about how wrong they are for a long time afterwards. I want to love myself, but people have abused me for so...
    x0UnionJack0x x0UnionJack0x 22-25, F May 14

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    I Base My Self-esteem On Others Alot.

    People are very weird with me.  I get alot of attention and am told I am pretty, but lots of people don't seem to like me.  I feel like I don't really connect with others and I always feel like people don't want to include me in their conversations.   ...
    patchworkofmistakes patchworkofmistakes 26-30, F 5 Responses Feb 10, 2010

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    I Keep It All Inside...

    They tell me I'm pretty...They tell me I'm a good person...They tell me I'm an honest person...But do they really know I"m a liar...I'm ugly...I'm not lovable enough for you to except me....I want so much to tell them I'm a liar...because of those lies I feel hatred for myself...
    XxlostxsoulxX7 XxlostxsoulxX7 13-15 2 Responses Feb 11, 2010

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    I Am Truly Disgusting

    I was a horny teenager and I wanted to lose my virginity. I wanted to throw it away. So I used the Internet, made friends with horny guys and sent them nude pictures. I'm a dirty good for nothing ****. They wanted me. They all wanted me and I thought it was so great but then when...
    ginger1776 ginger1776 18-21, F 3 Responses May 21, 2012

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    I have no idea why I exist,

    you guys. I feel worthless and unlovable. Like, I just wish someone could give me the feeling of being needed, being here for a purpose, not just being some random person walking this earth. I wish I meant something to someone, someone who is willing to show it to me. And at the...
    yxfx yxfx 18-21, F 6 Responses Sep 28

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    I am constantly ignored by people,

    I would have a short conversation with someone in real life or online then NOTHING. The person just stops talking to me/blocks me/ ignores me or disappears. Online is one thing but seriously am I that boring, weird, odd that nobody will have more than a few conversations with me...
    VirtualExistence VirtualExistence 22-25, M 1 Response Oct 11

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    Life As A Pumpkin......

    I was thinking one day while i was eating w/ my family, I am like a Pumpkin. A pumpkin has nothing inside but yet holds it's self up. You carve it to be what you want to see.... And that is what i did with myself. I carved PUMPKIN into my leg so i could see just how empty i was...
    blueyedgirl17 blueyedgirl17 13-15, F 2 Responses Mar 19, 2013

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    Overcoming Self-hatred

    I have had feelings of self-hatred as long as I remember. I was an overweight, intelligent child with glasses, teacher's pet, etc. My family and peers judged me for my weight. I turned that judgment inward. I turned to food for comfort and gained more weight. The self-hatred has...
    kerowyn kerowyn 31-35, F 2 Responses Aug 18, 2010

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    Read

    my wounds are healed, but the memories remain of that story
    thompson21 thompson21 26-30, M Apr 6, 2013

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    I Hate Myself So Much.

    Every day I look at myself and feel sick.My boyfriend always tells me i'm beautiful, i'm this - i'm that. And I keep having to tell him that it doesn't matter what he says or how often he says it I will never take it in or believe him.I've self harmed in many ways...
    Popkins Popkins 22-25, F 4 Responses Jan 4, 2010

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    Sadness

    i have derided once more to change my death date but this time i don't know what to change it to... i have a friend now and i don't think its right just to leave him i don't think he'll leave me ether i hope this isn't a trick if it is nothing will stop me after i find out...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Apr 3, 2013

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    My Self Hatred

    I hate myself, I want to bleed, I cry at night, longing to be freed. I think of death, there’s so much pain, I’m losing myself, I’m going insane. I cut myself, because I binged and purged, I do it every day, whenever I get the urge. I feel so ugly, and so fat, Life...
    gentlyyours gentlyyours 18-21, F 3 Responses Apr 23, 2012

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    musiclover1997 musiclover1997 18-21, F Mar 12

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    I Have Thrown My Life Away

    My self hatred has caused me to spiral down hill repeatedly because I don't care about myself at all.. It hurts the ppl I love when they heard say that but they know its true.. My actions show it to he a fact.. Now I have thrown my life away and key my hate take over
    EmilyLynn21 EmilyLynn21 26-30, F 2 Responses Aug 2, 2013

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    It's Not Fair To Cry In Your Sleep.

    I hate myself. I've been in and out of therapy since I was 17 and I'm now 23. I'm afraid it's never going to go away. I've never been in a relationship with a guy before and when one shows interest in me I become a *****. I'm rude to them to turn them off, but it's not them, it's...
    crystalrain87 crystalrain87 22-25, F 4 Responses Nov 18, 2011

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    Why Can'T I Just Appreciate Life?

    So I guess that I just don't appreciate life right now, I mean right now things are good I've finished my exams and have a job for summer, but I still feel dark and empty inside, I just feel cold and I'm not really living life ... just passing through. I'm just feeling that no...
    TheDarkClaw TheDarkClaw 18-21, F Jun 6, 2013

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    I thought I was doing better.

    That was unitl I woke up this morning and just had everything crash back into me.
    Dacer13 Dacer13 16-17, F 3 Responses Nov 7

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    I Want To Help

    hey im aleks and i want to help anyone if you want it. just message me or add me. i will listen to what ever problem
    mindinthesky mindinthesky 16-17, M 2 Responses May 12, 2013

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    Self-hatred

    I HATE MYSELF TO THE VERY INNER-CORE OF MY EXISTENCE. I AM NOT EXACTLY SURE WHY, EITHER. I HATE THE WAY I LOOK, ITS WHY I DON'T EAT MUCH, AND WHEN I DO, I USUALLY PURGE. I HATE MY SHY, EAASILY INJURED PERSONALITY, ITS ONE OF THE REASONS I CUT/BURN MYSELF. I HATE THAT I DON'T...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Feb 7, 2013

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    I'm A Candle.

    Sometimes I feel like a candle, on a path to self-destruction. In the desperate attempt to keep the flame of life going, I'm only just stripping myself away; I'm melting in my own tears of wax which I cry. Eventually, I'll fade out into the darkness in which I spawned from.
    SkinnyThoughtsAndRedLipstick SkinnyThoughtsAndRedLipstick 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 20, 2013

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    looking in the mirror makes me cringe i hate

    myself to such a extent and it kills me. i feel like no one could ever like me which i believe no one does. 16 ive never been kissed or had a boyfriend, my hairs too short and im too fat for anyone to find me decent looking i cant stand myself most times i disgust myself i dont...
    mariie97 mariie97 16-17, F 2 Responses Jan 22

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    Disgust.

    I've always hated how I looked. I never thought I was thin enough, or that my stomach was flat enough. There was always someone else that was better. It only got worse after having a kid. I walk past a mirror, or any reflective surface, and grimace because what I see disgusts me...
    kellbell0629 kellbell0629 26-30 May 17, 2013

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    I think about killing myself every day.

    I hate being so ugly and worthless. I wish I would just to avoid any unnecessary guilt. It isn't like I chose to be alive anyway, but if I could have chosen I would have stayed as I was before ever being. The world owes me nothing, and nothingness will swallow me, I just wish I...
    sunkern sunkern 18-21, M 1 Response Aug 14

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    I Hate Me

    I'm a fat ******* pig I'm lazy and obnoxious and weak and unattractive and inhuman and dispationet I'm not sure why I'm posting this For attention maybe But I thought if try something befor cutting this time
    moccasandy moccasandy 16-17, M 1 Response Nov 22, 2013

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    I feel a burning sensation inside me,

    it's a hatred for myself. I'm forgotten about. My behavior is abnormal. I hate my body, it makes me want to throw up. I have no ambition whatsoever. I just want everything I hate to erode me away. I wish I was dead, more than anything in the world. I've grown numb, want to die...
    blitzd blitzd 18-21, F 3 Responses Jan 1

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    Why Hate Thyself

    Hate is a powerful word. The dictionary defines "hate" as: [The emotion of intense dislike; a feeling of dislike so strong that it demands action]. In my experience I remember doing many thing throughout the past that I disapproved of. That is right I "disapproved" of my actions...
    wherewerewe wherewerewe 46-50, M Dec 13, 2012

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    The Monster Called Hate

    I wake up every morning dreading the day ahead. I work a job I hate to make money to fund the job i will hate for the next 60 years. I live with people i hate because i can't afford to leave this behind. Most of all I'm scared. Terrified that one day i'm going to be so alone i...
    AliveInTheLights AliveInTheLights 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 18, 2012

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    TeddyOrTeddie TeddyOrTeddie 13-15, M Jun 24

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    I thought I was getting over this .

    .. depression... but it isnt easy.. it's hard.. i have friends who help me and i help them... but I dont know what's going on with me.. something is wrong with me
    yeahohwell yeahohwell 13-15, F May 18

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    Hate

    i used to like myself, when i was in high school maybe. i was over weight and happy with myself even tho i was. then i left to go to a treatment place for over a year and i developed an eating disorder that made me go from 250lbs to 130lbs. i don't like the way i look, probably...
    Spilled Spilled 22-25, F Sep 27, 2013

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    I'm just really hating myself tonight.

    I do live streams on twitch every now and then, and I just got started really. But I'm just no good with them. I feel like I'm too much of an introvert to be entertaining. Hell, I got at least 10 viewers tonight and most went to someone I was on a skype call with during the...
    Decade91 Decade91 22-25, M 1 Response Aug 30

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    On a daily basis. Granted I have worked on

    changing my train of thought for the last couple of years but when you live most of your life with negative thoughts it's hard to change them. So it's an inner battle with myself. I guess the negative thoughts are just easier for me to believe than the positive...
    acquiredtaste acquiredtaste 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 7

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    Related Experiences

    Well throughout my life, mainly when I was in middle school onward, I have always thought of myself differently than others. I honestly hate everything about myself, especially my...
    thinkingflawless thinkingflawless 18-21, F 3 Responses Nov 22

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    When self-hatred is your motivation. Sometimes you need to motivate that hate.
    HarleyQuinn326 HarleyQuinn326 22-25, F Nov 24

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    Have you ever had days that you feel like you deserve everything that you're feeling? It's not exactly suicidal, but just knowing that you've ****** your life up so much that...
    HarleyQuinn326 HarleyQuinn326 22-25, F 3 Responses Nov 24

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    All my life I have battled depression and my depression is extremely bad for me...all I have to do is look at a knife or anything dangerous and all I want to do is hurt myself...
    Scarsdontfade Scarsdontfade 18-21, F 4 Responses 5 days ago

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    I self medicate myself because my doctor doesn't really give a crap about me.
    marleigh93 marleigh93 18-21, F 3 Responses Nov 28

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    And now that familiarly uncomfortable part of the night begins, where I question everything and feel it all slip away. I start this night the same way I start every night, deciding...
    nohopekid nohopekid 18-21, M 1 Response Nov 21

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    I keep everything inside because I've made myself believe that I'm better off alone no one cares if I have problems
    torr62 torr62 13-15, F 2 Responses Nov 22

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    I'm a large woman and I've tried so many times to loose weight but I can never really commit to it. Lately I've been thinking that maybe if I forgave all of the people who teased...
    beautybehindthefat beautybehindthefat 18-21, F 6 Responses Nov 22

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    And use comedy to help me. Because meds made me worse. And chris proved why. http://youtu.be/vw5lwK9UAY8
    OddlyScintilating OddlyScintilating 46-50, M Nov 28

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    The reason I can't sleep at night isn't because I can't actually sleep. It's because I won't let myself sleep. Because I'm terrified that I'll just stop breathing, I'll die, and I...
    Bflyboo14 Bflyboo14 13-15, F 1 Response Dec 3

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    The anxiety is taking over, I feel as if I can barely breath, not organize a single thought or action, and I'm so, so tired.
    squirrelbounce squirrelbounce 41-45, F 5 Responses Dec 5

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    Having an off day today. It's hard, the holiday season. My dead fathers side of the family is taking such good care of me and for the first time in years I'm being included in the...
    Cranksta Cranksta 18-21, F Dec 5

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    I don't understand what's wrong with me. I don't know what it is that I'm doing that pushes people away. I know people who are shadier and bitchier than I am but for some reason...
    ClarissaAnn ClarissaAnn 18-21, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    Anyone got a gun to shoot me with?
    Scarsdontfade Scarsdontfade 18-21, F 1 Response 3 days ago