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I Battle Self-hatred, Anxiety, And Depression

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 2,631 People

    nohopekid nohopekid 18-21, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    Am I not here Fading away Sighted

    yet absent Pointless energy Floating in space Holograms, specters, silhouettes Never asked me You just let me Falling deeper No one knows And after all It's just death
    yamang yamang 22-25, M Dec 21, 2014

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    All my life has been spent struggling to get

    through each day, spent crying silently or in a rage of frustration. My world has been sinking for years, sometimes i just forget who i actually am or what i am meant to be doing on this earth. x
    BrokenWildChild BrokenWildChild 36-40, M Jan 19

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    In runs in my family they say.

    Depression anxiety runs in my family. So it's my destiny to be depressed. To live a broken life. To have my soul tortured. To fall part daily. To worry about every little thing that I do wrong. To destroy my body with a razor. Slashing violently watching the blood seep from my...
    bubbles1085 bubbles1085 13-15, F 4 Responses Jul 22, 2014

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    I'm not sure If I'm depressed

    or not I can be happy and laugh with my friends. But when I'm alone in my room with my thoughts that's when it gets bad
    staystrong07 staystrong07 16-17, F 3 Responses Mar 11, 2014

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    Life

    I someone times feel low, lower the lowest thing i can think of...and i know i shouldnt but i can't help it. I start to think awful thoughts about myself and i know i dont believe them or atleast that i shouldnt but again i can't help it. Most of the time i just put on some...
    Jwolf1342 Jwolf1342 18-21, M 1 Response Jan 27, 2013

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    There are times like these

    where I'm just waiting for the storm to pass and I don't feel like trying. I don't want to do anything but cry. This emptiness in my heart is getting bigger and travels to my throat from holding in my screams for so long. I could go on and on about why I'm feeling this way...
    torr62 torr62 13-15, F 1 Response Feb 10

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    hills to to march over,

    battles to fight, and wars to be won or lose... you told me to keep fighting, but than you refuse to answer my text, you beg me to make promises. and I told you I don't make promises I can't keep. you told me you love me, but where are you now? the tears ran down my face, the...
    lostunit lostunit 26-30, M 2 Responses Feb 1

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    so... another week to pass

    and the only thing stopping my memory from all the triggers are these blasted pills. easy to overdose on them just cause that is what they are designed to do to hold the mind at still... but I'm still shattered inside. and there are times I'll cry from the pain. I'll talk to...
    lostunit lostunit 26-30, M 3 Responses Jan 29

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    All Three 24/7. Never Ending Battle

    i self loathe so much that i want to pick at myself. cut, kill. i just want to die at times. my nightmares only make my self loathing worse. every night since i was three i have dreamed of murdering my self and felt every way you can think of of dying. my mind hates me and so do...
    Caitlinsmith1636 Caitlinsmith1636 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 3, 2013

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    A role is a role why must we be a self troll?

    What means will help us get beyond this strange looking toll? So Just wonder with us please I'm sitting on the bus and this being comes on the bus, he starts going off talking about stuff as he staring at me. I'm not afraid, but as some of you may know there is something...
    tantralad tantralad 22-25, M Jan 12

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    i was abused by my mom she would beat me

    so bad it would temporarily paralyze my legs. at that time,i was a"worthless *****" and a ***** so i was also told i didnt deserve to live and was eventually placed in foster care, but abused and raped there as wellso now i suffer from Battle Self-hatred, Anxiety, And Depression...
    jazzyjaniah jazzyjaniah 26-30, F Dec 24, 2014

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    I Hate Me, I Hate It And I Hate Them.

    I have no friends. This is no overreaction , when I say I have no friends I mean everyone is avoiding me. With drug and sexuality rumours circulating about me I don't blame them. It still makes me angry. I can't even wait in line for food , my palms get sweaty , I can't...
    ThanksForTheMemories ThanksForTheMemories 16-17, F Nov 6, 2013

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    I have attempted suicide 4 times in the last

    year due to anxiety, depression, and self-hatred. I have cut for 6 years and have been hospitalized in a psych ward.
    Grace12345345 Grace12345345 22-25, F Oct 26, 2014

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    life is both beautiful

    and cruel. some people can be shallow or willfully ignorant and limit their feelings to surface emotion. A sunny day, a good meal or intimate relations make everything good. for others we see how we are trapped in our own minds. we see other bright souls and long to reach...
    ArnoldJRimmer ArnoldJRimmer 46-50, M 3 Responses Feb 8

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    I don't want to kill myself,

    I want someone/something to do it for me so I don't hurt my loved ones.
    Undreaaaa Undreaaaa 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 14

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    "We are all mad here.

    " "But do you know I am mad?" "You must be. Or else you never will have came here."
    GreenManley GreenManley 18-21, M 1 Response Dec 22, 2014

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    so... here is the news.

    back in a new place 2 weeks ago. the day after I move in. I splice my left hand thumb down as far as the bone. couldn't feel pain cause it cut nerves and veins... funny when you try to harm yourself you fail, but we you don't, there will be no pain, and a lot of blood. today I...
    lostunit lostunit 26-30, M Jan 22

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    andylovesyou23 andylovesyou23 18-21, M 1 Response Jan 25

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    Have you ever had days

    that you feel like you deserve everything that you're feeling? It's not exactly suicidal, but just knowing that you've ****** your life up so much that nothing could ever be the same? Just the idea of "relationships" makes you shudder. You're going to **** it up, somehow. You...
    HarleyQuinn326 HarleyQuinn326 22-25, F 2 Responses Nov 24, 2014

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    I lost all my friends

    and now I got some back but I don't exactly want anyone, I've gotten so used to being alone I like it. I'm going Insane. - follow secret account on ig @pale_puke I follow back -
    blweh blweh 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 10

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    There came a time I just needed to distant

    myself from really close friends and family. No one was understanding me and since I am a pretty sensitive person. I'd pick up on there confusion or frustrations. I started feeling so alone even in a room full of ppl. It was as if I was the planet Pluto far away from everyone...
    tantralad tantralad 22-25, M 1 Response Jan 10

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    Triad

    It is interesting to me that self-hatred is listed first. The latter is a main cause or, at least, prolonger of the anxiety and depression that resides... in me. Past events and ideas do influence the aforementioned. However, if I could find the will and means to love myself, I...
    DustToAshes DustToAshes 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 2, 2011

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    Someone posted about a free app on hypnosis.

    I don't remember where I read it. But I tried it for about a month for my depression and anxiety attacks. I thought maybe it might be a placebo affect, so I waited to make sure. My depression has been paralyzing for me. It's been horrific; the anxiety attacks, the uselessness I...
    Blmy Blmy 46-50, F 1 Response Mar 29, 2014

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    My dream is to prove everyone wrong.

    My goal is for everyone's eyes to be wide open with their expressions on their faces full of surprise and their mouths wide open. I'll impress them all. My wish is for everything to be different. I'll have more respect, people wouldn't think less of me, I'll be proud of...
    torr62 torr62 13-15, F Jan 4

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    Spring time is always

    so hard for me. Not as bad this year as others - thankfully - but this time of year I get very quiet, sullen and all I want to do is disappear. I start to get anxious about leaving the house - people might see me. my mood, internally, is like a roller coaster between nervous...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Mar 28, 2014

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    I hate my self im ugly

    and fat and I **** up everything and I'll never be with anyone I'll always be alone
    rainyday10 rainyday10 22-25, M 1 Response Jan 19

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    It Hurts So Good I had noticed,

    that you'd cut your legs, skin as well as hair, while trying to shave, but you cut me as well, with that razor blade, so I show you my heart's scars, that were once made, for some reason, somewhat indescribable, seeing the blood, in the bathroom receptacle, dotted upon a...
    AaronLA AaronLA 31-35, M 1 Response Dec 28, 2014

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    Staying Strong

    I wanted to write this because I want to connect with other people that suffer from anxiety and the depression/self-hatred package. In addition I want to give people hope. I'm not completely better, I still struggle, and I still hurt. But, I want others to know that you can keep...
    TinyArtist TinyArtist 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 16, 2013

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    When you lose a couple of times it's showing

    you what block(belief systems) you can clear For everything on the outside starts with what we believe and pay attention to on the inside You are a Co-creator the blue prints are within ^__^ You all are amazing much grace n peace you have what it takes to be the being you...
    tantralad tantralad 22-25, M Jan 10

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    I think my depression is getting worse.

    .. I haven't been able to think, there's this voice in my head telling me everyone hates me, I've been having mood swings and my temper is getting a lot worse. I can't put 2 and 2 together anymore and my art has gotten worse. I feel no better than that Chris Chan *******. Doesn't...
    HowArtThou HowArtThou 18-21, F Feb 14

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    And now that familiarly uncomfortable part of

    the night begins, where I question everything and feel it all slip away. I start this night the same way I start every night, deciding wether or not to wake up tomorrow morning
    nohopekid nohopekid 18-21, M Nov 21, 2014

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    It's been a month since I stopped cutting

    and now my step mom has my razor. Everyday I think about taking the razor out of my little sisters sharpeners... :/
    Alina627 Alina627 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 23

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    Self Reflections My skin is not a tough armor,

    its too thin and easily broken. The air i am inhaling is attenuating with each gasp for breath. My shins are quivering and small hairline fractures litter their outer most layers from too many end of my ropes falls to my knees. The heart that beats within my rib cage is tattered...
    writingmyrelease writingmyrelease 26-30, F 14 Responses Feb 2

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    every lasting fight with my mind,

    over my body. its like a battlefield over middle. only with advance modern weapons. the bombs dropping all around, the small arms fire suppressing my every movement, the artillery of warship and howies never letting up. every hour of everyday, it pounds at you. than the...
    lostunit lostunit 26-30, M 1 Response Jan 7

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    i cant stop blaming myself

    for making myself sick and feeling this low
    lovelinessbathes lovelinessbathes 31-35, M 1 Response Jan 1

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    self hatred arose after being compared to

    everyone, i now feel like im inferior. i tell myself people have it worse off than me, but even so i still feel depressed and i hate myself because of that. i tried to consult my parents about suffering from depression but they laugh and say "stop being such a drama queen" or...
    5203am 5203am 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 10, 2014

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    so here it is... been lied to all my life,

    lost friends that could have been my best friends my whole life to misunderstanding and suicide and stupid ******* wars... I know what your gonna say... "that's life suck it up and move on." and you would be right, but you would be Illrational and insensitive... and that's...
    lostunit lostunit 26-30, M 1 Response 5 days ago

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    The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein.

    I heard it was about a tree and a boy. The tree was generous. Very generous, in fact, it may have been too generous. Perhaps a better word for the tree would be altruistic? Being altruistic is giving too much of yourself to someone else and not leaving...
    torr62 torr62 13-15, F 1 Response Dec 18, 2014

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    I battled self hatred had an ex tell me she

    didn't love me anymore so I was stupid and tried to end my life which would have in time not allowed me to meet my wife
    Bill19641111 Bill19641111 46-50, M 1 Response Jan 19

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    Weak. Hopeless. Immobile.

    Alone. Tired. Quiet.
    unknownfamiliar unknownfamiliar 22-25, F Jan 6

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    I constantly battle my anxiety.

    Right now I have so much on my plate, that I don't even know where to begin and I can feel the tension and anxiety building up inside of me. When this happens I tend to sit around doing nothing because I don't even know where to start....eventually the anxiety builds up so much...
    flightlessbird314 flightlessbird314 22-25, F 2 Responses Mar 25, 2014

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    I started cutting. Two little lines

    and that's all it took. They hurt a bit but it felt good. I feel better.
    Cranksta Cranksta 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 18

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    So lately I haven't really been feeling 100%.

    I know most of my other posts were really cheerful but I guess I was just trying to hide how I really felt with all that, why? I don't even know. My 'best friend' and I don't really talk as often as we used to, it seems like ill have to be the one who starts the conversation...
    PensiveEuphoria PensiveEuphoria 16-17, F Jul 15, 2014

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    I'm having another bad night.

    I miss my boyfriend so much that it hurts and it's brought everything else up to the surface. Everything hurts. Even the momentary bouts of happiness hurts. It hurts waking up everyday knowing that the one person who was supposed to love you the most enjoyed making and watching...
    Cranksta Cranksta 18-21, F 3 days ago

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    I Hate Me!!!

    We've all been there self loathing and wishing we weren't born... You question self and wonder if you should just end it!!! I know... I've tried several times since I was 12 yrs old! Believe it or not... There IS a purpose in you being with us... When you stop the self sabotage...
    Shewolfiie69 Shewolfiie69 36-40, F 7 Responses May 22, 2013

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    I'm in bed for the night

    and all that I can think about is how sad I am. Today I went to therapy and made a treatment plan, but also had to make a crisis plan for if I try to hurt or kill myself. I have to share it with my sister and brother in law tomorrow and I don't look forward to it. We lost my dad...
    Cranksta Cranksta 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 13, 2014

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    Hate

    No one can hate me more than I hate myself. This is the life that I lead. Full of self loathing and inadequacies. I don't live at all.
    CaptainPeachFuzz CaptainPeachFuzz 31-35, T 1 Response Feb 9, 2013

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    I'm a large woman and I've tried

    so many times to loose weight but I can never really commit to it. Lately I've been thinking that maybe if I forgave all of the people who teased me and tore down in school that I could move on. but how do you forgive the biggest hurt you've ever felt. how do you stop believing...
    beautybehindthefat beautybehindthefat 18-21, F 7 Responses Nov 22, 2014

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    The anxiety is taking over,

    I feel as if I can barely breath, not organize a single thought or action, and I'm so, so tired.
    squirrelbounce squirrelbounce 41-45, F 5 Responses Dec 5, 2014

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