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I Battle Self-hatred, Anxiety, And Depression

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 709 People

    Unbareable

    I feel as though I am unbareable to deal with, I hate myself and for a while i didn't know what it was. I find myself getting mad at myself when i do somthing wrong always trying to figure out why i just cant get right... I've cut my self out of hatred towards me because now its...
    ninasky ninasky 18-21, F Dec 14, 2010

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    thishalf thishalf 16-17, F 2 Responses Mar 7

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    Pain

    Thoughts are running around my head, I feel as high as a kite floating on air. My life is so surreal Full of madness & hysteria. The hysteria has gone, Calm is here. I feel at peace Sleep is near After taking a pill, I lie in bed waiting to sleep I fall into frightening...
    daughtermolly daughtermolly 31-35, F Jul 21, 2011

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    Staying Strong

    I wanted to write this because I want to connect with other people that suffer from anxiety and the depression/self-hatred package. In addition I want to give people hope. I'm not completely better, I still struggle, and I still hurt. But, I want others to know that you can keep...
    TinyArtist TinyArtist 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 16, 2013

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    Scars

    I feel so alone. I want someone to hold me and cherish me. I want to tell someone about the scars on my wrist and I want them to tell me they are sorry and to hold me. I feel so broken, and not from something someone has done but from the evil inside me. I crave things that are...
    Brokenyounglife Brokenyounglife 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 22, 2013

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    Triad

    It is interesting to me that self-hatred is listed first. The latter is a main cause or, at least, prolonger of the anxiety and depression that resides... in me. Past events and ideas do influence the aforementioned. However, if I could find the will and means to love myself, I...
    DustToAshes DustToAshes 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 2, 2011

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    life is hard..especially

    when my dad isnt here. parents got divorced b4 i was born. sometimes i think "why was i even born when they got an divorce..." smh crying
    LoveNight LoveNight 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 2

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    Hi all im a 20 year old female

    and need someone to run away with me . I am battling depression and i have no job no life no friends and am still living with my mum . I live in the uk and im realy not getting along with my family at all . I just need to get away because if i dont ill kill myself . Im desperate...
    runawaywithme2 runawaywithme2 18-21, F Jan 13

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    Sometime I want the world to stop

    so I can stay in bed and just be. I wanna hide away from the judging world and my insecurities. I wanna dream of me happy and hope to one day live those dreams. But instead I cry for a bit wipe away the tears and face the world as if nothing is wrong.
    Leebugg Leebugg 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 14

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    I get called names like fat autistic

    pig Retard Spastic helpp
    georgia14 georgia14 16-17, F Jan 12

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    I Hate Me!!!

    We've all been there self loathing and wishing we weren't born... You question self and wonder if you should just end it!!! I know... I've tried several times since I was 12 yrs old! Believe it or not... There IS a purpose in you being with us... When you stop the self sabotage...
    Shewolfiie69 Shewolfiie69 36-40, F 7 Responses May 22, 2013

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    What is a Panic AttackA very important question

    if you're struggling with this condition. You should really understanding exactly what's going on behind the scenes.So what is a PA?A sudden feeling of acute and disabling anxiety.`Ok, that's the textbook definition, but i don't think that clears things up too much so let's go l...
    Lifeafterpanic566 Lifeafterpanic566 31-35, M Feb 23

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    I Hate Me, I Hate It And I Hate Them.

    I have no friends. This is no overreaction , when I say I have no friends I mean everyone is avoiding me. With drug and sexuality rumours circulating about me I don't blame them. It still makes me angry. I can't even wait in line for food , my palms get sweaty , I can't...
    Agemeansnothing Agemeansnothing 13-15, F 1 Response Nov 6, 2013

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    Lost In Wonderland...

    Hello, my name is Brandon. I'm 20 and I'm an art student, a writer, and I used to be a volunteer fire fighter. I used to love to ride horses, take care of animals, play sports, and just all around enjoy life, even though I was abused most of my childhood. Though, I always held in...
    Arcentine Arcentine 18-21, M 2 Responses Feb 25, 2013

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    Spring time is always

    so hard for me. Not as bad this year as others - thankfully - but this time of year I get very quiet, sullen and all I want to do is disappear. I start to get anxious about leaving the house - people might see me. my mood, internally, is like a roller coaster between nervous...
    salacioustoastlicker salacioustoastlicker 36-40, F 5 Responses Mar 28

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    I have been out of counseling

    for almost three months now. I have been on my anxiety medication for almost seven months. I really just don't understand what's wrong with me. I just landed a summer internship. I have supportive parents, a loving boyfriend, and good friends. I'll be a college graduate in...
    anonymousginger anonymousginger 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 1

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    I'm beginning to hate myself more

    and more as weeks go by. I never do anything right. I don't know if I'll last til graduation. It's getting worse.
    genn1024 genn1024 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 1

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    Battle Panic, Anxiety, Biploar And Depression

    I wish I could wake up every morning and feel good. But, when I wake up I stuggle to deal with the day. I don't want to leave my home , I just want to sleep the day away. I panic when I in a crowd or when I am behind he wheel of my car. I feel so cold and numb. I don't know how...
    sun23shine sun23shine 41-45, F 1 Response Feb 11, 2013

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    Im Lost And Desperate To Find Myself Again

    When I was younger I climbed out of hell quickly because I refused to give up, bu now that I'm 30 it is becoming difficult and at times impossible to make my way out of the dark fire and into the bright light. I cant stand the thought of quitting and basically letting the evil...
    Anastasia555 Anastasia555 26-30, F Mar 15, 2012

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    I feel dwn every day n hate it.

    It feels like 1min I'm fine but my heads not then the nxt I'm crying n angry with a mixed of feelings. I don't think anyone understands me so they get angry n I turn on them. Do because of this I shut dwn n don't say anything
    hayley34 hayley34 31-35, F Mar 11

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    Battle Is Continuing Into The Night

    Cutting is my solace, almost. Its a vice for me. I hate myself so much that it's unbearable most of the time. I'm ugly, I'm mean, I'm wrong, I'm just not right, I'm a ****** friend, I have no friends, I hate myself. The list goes on and on.
    livikivirawr livikivirawr 16-17, F 2 Responses Jul 9, 2010

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    How I Wrecked My Life Today

    So had my fourth car wreck today.  Ruined the $6000 dollar car I paid cash for.  Liability only and another accident on my record.  Only one amoung a long list of other failures.  I loved that car I guess because it made me feel a little better about the...
    specter7237 specter7237 22-25 3 Responses Nov 19, 2010

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    findasilverlining33 findasilverlining33 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 1

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    I self harmed for 13 years.

    I hated everything about myself. I'm never good enough for myself or other people. It's so hard to be ok when everything inside my head tells me that I'll never be enough.
    littletinydancer littletinydancer 26-30, F 1 Response Jan 30

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    self hatred arose after being compared to

    everyone, i now feel like im inferior. i tell myself people have it worse off than me, but even so i still feel depressed and i hate myself because of that. i tried to consult my parents about suffering from depression but they laugh and say "stop being such a drama queen" or...
    5203am 5203am 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 10

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    Yepp been battling it

    for 2 years now and its gotten worse this year ..i hate myself so much most of the time. I have very low self confidence . And the hardest thing is waking up everyday with nothing to look forward to amd wishing my life could be better . But yeahh...anyways follow me on twitter i...
    runawaywithme2 runawaywithme2 18-21, F Jan 21

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    Life

    I someone times feel low, lower the lowest thing i can think of...and i know i shouldnt but i can't help it. I start to think awful thoughts about myself and i know i dont believe them or atleast that i shouldnt but again i can't help it. Most of the time i just put on some...
    Jwolf1342 Jwolf1342 18-21, M 1 Response Jan 27, 2013

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    I constantly battle my anxiety.

    Right now I have so much on my plate, that I don't even know where to begin and I can feel the tension and anxiety building up inside of me. When this happens I tend to sit around doing nothing because I don't even know where to start....eventually the anxiety builds up so much...
    flightlessbird314 flightlessbird314 22-25, F 3 Responses Mar 25

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    Does fear cause real diarrhea

    or does it cause the feeling only ? http://livelifetothefullest.live-panic-free.com/2014/03/03/does-fear-cause-real-diarrhea-or-does-it-cause-the-feeling-only-.aspx Hey guys, sorry if this seems spammy, not my intention at all. I used to just paste my experiences in several...
    Lifeafterpanic566 Lifeafterpanic566 31-35, M Mar 4

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    I was bullied in middle school

    for being normal weight. When I left the school I kept getting text saying to kill myself and that I'm the ugliest person Alive. In 8th grade I started cutting and became depressed so I started to starve myself. Now I'm home schooled with anorexia, depression, anxiety and self...
    broadwaybabe99 broadwaybabe99 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 19

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    I have been living with anxiety

    and depression since I was a little child. For these years, keeping silent from everyone was what I did. I'm getting sick of this, it's been 8 years. I'm never good enough, the world can go on screaming
    97hefi 97hefi 16-17, F 1 Response Feb 25

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    Someone posted about a free app on hypnosis.

    I don't remember where I read it. But I tried it for about a month for my depression and anxiety attacks. I thought maybe it might be a placebo affect, so I waited to make sure. My depression has been paralyzing for me. It's been horrific; the anxiety attacks, the uselessness I...
    Blmy Blmy 46-50, F Mar 29

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    I'll Try To Keep This Short.

    I have no idea why I have self-hatred. I just have low self-esteem. I had it for a long time. I often insult myself a lot for no reason. I always had anxiety, mostly around groups of people so school was hard for me. Depression I had for 2 years now, something happened that...
    oldaccount oldaccount 18-21, M 2 Responses Oct 29, 2012

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    Did I Do The Right Thing?

    Yesterday I had to go talk to a Residence Director on my campus about one of my room mates. She has been seriously suicidal and yesterday brought alcohol into the room(which is illegal). I was afraid for her that she would do something to hurt herself while drunk or alone and so...
    Brokenyounglife Brokenyounglife 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 5, 2013

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    Hate

    No one can hate me more than I hate myself. This is the life that I lead. Full of self loathing and inadequacies. I don't live at all.
    CaptainPeachFuzz CaptainPeachFuzz 31-35, T 1 Response Feb 9, 2013

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    And They Tell Me..

    That beauty is in the eye of the beholder.Well I ask this, what if the beholder is disgusted by her own reflection?What if she is frustrated?What would you say, if I told you she yearns to die?Don't worry, she's a coward.
    CrazyHippieChick CrazyHippieChick 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 2, 2011

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    Feeling worthless had an affair 3yrs ago n my

    so called bf is still starting with me over it. I've got a major op on Tuesday n he's told me he's only taking me because he feels sorry for me and that he's not doing it because he cares. Just don't know what to do anymore I've lost him
    hayley34 hayley34 31-35, F 1 Response Apr 9

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    When I was growing up I thought I had an

    amazing life. I was always with my family, having party and just hanging out. But when I was 10 I realized that something was wrong...my dad wasn't like other dads. I started seeing that every time I was with him he always had a beer, and he always got really weird after and...
    Raesaveragelife Raesaveragelife 16-17, F Dec 3, 2013

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    no matter what i do i hate how i look.

    i've been in a battle with myself since i was really young. i've been battling my anxiety and depression since i was 12. i try so hard to feel beautiful but something always happens that makes me feeldown again. Agony - Breaking Benjamin
    kaiinuka kaiinuka 22-25, F Mar 7

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    Having panic attacks?

    Here's some advice from Tyler Durden. 
    Lifeafterpanic566 Lifeafterpanic566 31-35, M Mar 7

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    Who I Am. What I Choose. My Begining

    New Member. First Story. My beginning. I am one of many people. I do things that other People do. I AM a personal fan of Drawing. My story begins at an odd Point in life. Middle School. We've all been through it. It can be a living Hell sometimes (Sorry. Um... Warning. I swear. A...
    shadowsrain13 shadowsrain13 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 2, 2013

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    Depression At It's Worst!

    I have been battling depression alot lately. I have masked it with just being tired or because I work a 3rd shift job and i'm just tired alot so I sleep. But the truth is that i'm very depressed.. I can't get out of this hole i'm in. When i'm not working i'm sleeping my life...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Feb 6, 2012

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    I don't know i am depressed

    and lonely i have a family but feel all i do is just take worry about them and there problems and when i even want to talk about my feelings i just get shut down my wife is always busy thinking about work or at home with kids or just chatting with her family and friends i need...
    cooltaurus cooltaurus 36-40, M Mar 10

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    All Three 24/7. Never Ending Battle

    i self loathe so much that i want to pick at myself. cut, kill. i just want to die at times. my nightmares only make my self loathing worse. every night since i was three i have dreamed of murdering my self and felt every way you can think of of dying. my mind hates me and so do...
    Caitlinsmith1636 Caitlinsmith1636 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 3, 2013

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    I guess the only way is up

    when you've hit the very bottom. Recently, I've been very sensitive, crying at every small thing and thinking "you're pathetic Jaye". The fact that I have paranoia doesn't help either, especially when one minute i'm having a nice conversation with someone and then the next...
    JJSapphire JJSapphire 16-17, F 1 Response Feb 27

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    Where should I start?

    (Self-Hatered) I deal with many things in life and the biggest thing is I hate myself. I do not enjoy any aspect of myself. I enjoy seeing how all these other men look 10x better than myself and it hurts deep. I fight with my mind each and everyday. I want to look good, feel...
    RY0RY RY0RY 18-21, M 1 Response Mar 19

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    I'm not sure If I'm depressed

    or not I can be happy and laugh with my friends. But when I'm alone in my room with my thoughts that's when it gets bad
    staystrong07 staystrong07 13-15, F 3 Responses Mar 11

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    All Things Run In Cycles - The Path Through The

    Darkness If there is one thing I have learned for certain it is that ALL things run in cycles. Funerals and weddings and pregnancies and graduations.... they all come in clusters. Good luck and bad luck... yeah, you know the saying "When it rains it pours"? Or have you ever...
    NoahBody123 NoahBody123 51-55 2 days ago

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    No. No. No.

    Oh no. Depression is setting in again. I haven't been depressed. But today I'm really thinking too much. And I'm so scared. I don't wanna be sad and gloomy again. I don't wanna have thoughts about killing myself. I don't wanna think about my insecurities. I don't wanna push...
    randommgirl randommgirl 16-17, F 1 Response Nov 28, 2013

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    hayley34 hayley34 31-35, F Mar 11

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