Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Battle Self-hatred, Anxiety, And Depression

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 4,647 People

    I can't stop them. The whispers.

    .. I never will. They're devouring me completely, stripping me from every ounce of happiness. Plunging me deeper into the darkness...
    Meloryne Meloryne 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 17

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I am my own worst enemy,

    but I am also my own best friend...
    Wolf1776 Wolf1776 18-21, M 1 Response Apr 13

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I was asked if I was okay today,

    and I honestly didn't know how to respond. Especially to the person who asked me. Because that person means a lot to me and all I could do was look at him and try not to cry. I have depression and some times I don't even need a reason to be sad. I just am. How do I stop it? How...
    SexyAngelBitches SexyAngelBitches 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 15

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Spring time is always

    so hard for me. Not as bad this year as others - thankfully - but this time of year I get very quiet, sullen and all I want to do is disappear. I start to get anxious about leaving the house - people might see me. my mood, internally, is like a roller coaster between nervous...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Mar 28, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm 21 never had a job,

    I have anxiety and depression,I have suicidal thought,I have 1 friend at the moment, I'm scarred of driving cars, I've had multiple job offers but had too much anxiety to go back and give the jobs a try after getting the jobs. I would describe myself of having an avoidant...
    levrier levrier 18-21, F 5 Responses Apr 21

    Your Response

    Cancel

    People WITHOUT depression: " God,

    I'm so depressde." People WITH depression: " I'm fine, I'm just tired." It's not always that noticeable!
    Amani95 Amani95 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 15

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm here to give advice

    or just to listen. I will not judge. You're all beautiful and if you think no one loves you, you're wrong. I love you. Deal with it. You're amazing and I'm always here if you need me. And I know you need me. Sooo talk to me.
    learnfromexp learnfromexp 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 6

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Hate Me!!!

    We've all been there self loathing and wishing we weren't born... You question self and wonder if you should just end it!!! I know... I've tried several times since I was 12 yrs old! Believe it or not... There IS a purpose in you being with us... When you stop the self sabotage...
    Shewolfiie69 Shewolfiie69 36-40, F 7 Responses May 22, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    What is depression? How does it feel like to be

    anxious and depressed? Let me explain what depression is and how it affects you and your daily life... In a nutshell, depression is like the HIV virus. It invades your personal life, tear your emotions and intelligence apart, leaving you confused and vulnerable. Even a small...
    fuwhat fuwhat 18-21, M 4 Responses Aug 14

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Today was my first day back at college

    and already I feel like quitting. Each day looms and seems like it'll be much more horrible that the one before. The crowds are ridiculous and I wish I didn't have to put up with it all. Financial issues, social issues, emotional issues, I'm just a whole puddle of ****** up...
    Bluemusiq Bluemusiq 16-17, F 3 Responses 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    civix22 civix22 18-21, M Jul 30

    Your Response

    Cancel
    deleted deleted 26-30 Aug 16

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Guys and gals, I am here to help

    if anyone wants a chat, it can be about anything! If you want to send a rant message but don't want me to reply then just add a little message in and I won't reply! I want to be here for you guys as much as possible ??
    fightingwithyou fightingwithyou 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 16

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Hey. It's really late

    and I can't sleep because my brain is circling with thoughts of self hatred and how worthless I am. I don't know what to do about it all. I don't even know why I am posting this.
    justmyconfusedself justmyconfusedself 18-21, F Aug 21

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm feeling down again.

    I swear everyone thinks I'm crazy and I'm not worth anything. It's so hard to hold in my emotions to avoid stressing others out. My mom thinks I have no friends and that no one would possibly be friends with a fool like me unless to make fun of me. She only sides with me if I...
    HowArtThou HowArtThou 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 19

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm currently battling all those things,

    but the depression has really kicked in again... I feel so tired... If I can't be in that town that I was in all Summer, I don't know what to do... There was something about that town that made everything possible... Magic... It was fun, and I was doing things every day...
    Triforce184 Triforce184 18-21, F 1 Response 5 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    And now that familiarly uncomfortable part of

    the night begins, where I question everything and feel it all slip away. I start this night the same way I start every night, deciding wether or not to wake up tomorrow morning
    nohopekid nohopekid 18-21, M 1 Response Nov 21, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    **Trigger Warning** The only time in

    the day that I feel true joy is when I pray to God. That always fades away when I stop though; it's not like I can spend an entire day on my knees. I talk to my friends (sisters) by calling and messaging, and they make me happy, but there's always an absence. There's always that...
    Whobody Whobody 16-17, M 1 Response Aug 15

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Soooooo... I could write every little detail in

    here but the "keyboard" on my phone annoys me, so I'll give you the short version. I got bullied all my life wich led to attempted suicide at the age of 15. Then there was that new dude in school and we became friends (I still wonder how I did this). Sadly I became what I hated...
    TheN00n TheN00n 16-17, M 1 Response a week ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It started in 6th grade.

    After my grandfather died ive struggled to keep my head up.
    katlynC katlynC 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 9

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I haven't been feeling well again.

    I did well this past month but I feel like I'm falling again. I'm scared. I don't want to go back to that--to feeling that painful, heavy weight on my chest. I worked so hard. I know that if I fall back to that dark place again I won't have the support of my family or friends. I...
    solivagant86 solivagant86 18-21, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    woke up this morning like here we go again,

    no not again, what will I do today, what is worth doing, more important why cant I do the things that are worth doing, oh its too much I just hide here till something happens, it has won again, I'll try to fight again but it will keep winning. I wanna be alone but I don't where...
    bmorev bmorev 22-25, F 1 Response Aug 15

    Your Response

    Cancel
    TheGirlThatNobodyNoticed TheGirlThatNobodyNoticed 13-15 1 Response 4 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I think I'm eternally living the battle scene

    from the Buffy series finale when all the slayers start losing but suddenly get stronger and start winning again. I feel like so many things in me have died that I'm a husk trying to be a man.
    WarriorsHeart WarriorsHeart 22-25, M 8 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    this past year was hard,

    this next year will be harder.... my life us crashing..... I don't know what to do..... I want to slit my wrist, I want to take all the pillscin the medicine cabinet..... I try to talk to my friends about it but they make me feel like **** then I get deeply depressed..... i...
    100BlackRoses 100BlackRoses 16-17, F 1 Response Jul 30

    Your Response

    Cancel

    does anyone else play the happy role in front

    of other people and family just so they don't see how much ur hurting and suffering?
    rainyday10 rainyday10 22-25, M 1 Response Apr 13

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My story isn't as bad

    as most people's but I still suffer from it so.... When I was ten years old my parents started fighting a lot. More than ever. They threw things. yelled, chased each other, threated to hit one another. It was bad and in the eyes of a ten year old, she wanted to disappear. During...
    Littlemiss02 Littlemiss02 13-15, F Apr 27

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Have you ever had days

    that you feel like you deserve everything that you're feeling? It's not exactly suicidal, but just knowing that you've ****** your life up so much that nothing could ever be the same? Just the idea of "relationships" makes you shudder. You're going to **** it up, somehow. You...
    HarleyQuinn326 HarleyQuinn326 22-25, F 1 Response Nov 24, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I would like opinions on what you guys think.

    It may be a little long but please listen. It starts when I was maybe five. Please keep in mind I am diagnosed GAD and sleepwalk/talk and show all signs of abuse without actually remembering it. Because I sleep walk and talk I was prescribed ambien to help me stay in bed at...
    LynnT94 LynnT94 18-21, F 1 Response 5 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I've been fighting depression

    for about 13 years now. Every now and then I fall into a deep depression but I always managed to stand up again Lately, however, I haven't been able to. It's been almost three years and I still can't get my **** together. It's starting to take a toll on my body and mind. I feel...
    solivagant86 solivagant86 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 15

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The anxiety is taking over,

    I feel as if I can barely breath, not organize a single thought or action, and I'm so, so tired.
    squirrelbounce squirrelbounce 41-45, F 4 Responses Dec 5, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm in bed for the night

    and all that I can think about is how sad I am. Today I went to therapy and made a treatment plan, but also had to make a crisis plan for if I try to hurt or kill myself. I have to share it with my sister and brother in law tomorrow and I don't look forward to it. We lost my dad...
    Cranksta Cranksta 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 13, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    hills to to march over,

    battles to fight, and wars to be won or lose... you told me to keep fighting, but than you refuse to answer my text, you beg me to make promises. and I told you I don't make promises I can't keep. you told me you love me, but where are you now? the tears ran down my face, the...
    lostunit lostunit 26-30, M 2 Responses Feb 1

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It's always a Catch-22.

    Them: "If you're so depressed, why are you putting on a front and pretending to be happy like nothing is wrong? Just be yourself." Me: "Fine" *gets all mopey and depressing" Them: "Whoa dude. Stop bringing me down and bumming me out! I can't talk to someone that's negative...
    Tuva Tuva 31-35, M 1 Response May 24

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I have been cutting for almost three years in

    two months. I met my best friend three years tomorrow. I never even thought of cutting till I met her. she WAS a cutter. She managed to get out of cutting befor it got bad, me on the otherhand........well u get the idea. I also have depression, I carry my razor every where I go...
    100BlackRoses 100BlackRoses 16-17, F 2 Responses Aug 14

    Your Response

    Cancel

    "We are all mad here.

    " "But do you know I am mad?" "You must be. Or else you never will have came here."
    GreenManley GreenManley 18-21, M 1 Response Dec 22, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My will to live is running out very quickly.

    Ah well. Nobody depends on me for anything. So no harm, no foul. I have decided that 15 years is my absolute limit. Which means May of 2018, if I remember correctly.
    Myzery Myzery 31-35, F 1 Response Mar 4

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Self Reflections My skin is not a tough armor,

    its too thin and easily broken. The air i am inhaling is attenuating with each gasp for breath. My shins are quivering and small hairline fractures litter their outer most layers from too many end of my ropes falls to my knees. The heart that beats within my rib cage is tattered...
    writingmyrelease writingmyrelease 26-30, F 12 Responses Feb 2

    Your Response

    Cancel
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Aug 4

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I don't feel good about my physical

    or mental appearance. The only time I feel truly happy is when I'm self harming, and because of that, I'm now recovering from severe self-harmπŸ˜”πŸ˜”πŸ˜”
    PenelopePotter PenelopePotter 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 15

    Your Response

    Cancel

    so... another week to pass

    and the only thing stopping my memory from all the triggers are these blasted pills. easy to overdose on them just cause that is what they are designed to do to hold the mind at still... but I'm still shattered inside. and there are times I'll cry from the pain. I'll talk to...
    lostunit lostunit 26-30, M 2 Responses Jan 29

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I cut myself yesterday

    because I was craving sex. I @"&Β£@!? Myself. Then binged ate. Then slit my thighs. Back to 0.
    Secretlifeofourbodies Secretlifeofourbodies 18-21, F 1 Response 22 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    And it's getting hard to fight

    but I am trying my best.
    yourcutelittlejo yourcutelittlejo 16-17, F 1 Response Jul 26

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Hi. I think I have depression.

    I've been crying so much lately especially at night,I lost a lot of weight,I feel worthless and I started hating my appearance. I also avoid going out. I'd rather stay home and overthink. I feel so uncomfortable in public. I feel like everyone hates me and uses me. Life has no...
    panjcatthedisco panjcatthedisco 13-15, F 1 Response 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Where do I even start?

    ... A few days ago, we moved out of Sweden to the states. For some family thing or something. Then, my parents got in a huge fight and divorced. I was given full custody of my dad. Good for me, because my mom was abusive to me and my brothers. I'm always made fun of for being a...
    MangaMinx MangaMinx 16-17, F 4 Responses Aug 15

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I've been cutting more often lately,

    but tonight was the first time I made it bleed. It stings.
    Cranksta Cranksta 18-21, F 4 Responses