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I Battle Self-hatred, Anxiety, And Depression

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 6,264 People

    I self harm and I have tried suicide I

    overdosed, I about died I just can't escape this thing called life I want to die so badly Any advice would be good Motivation would be great
    ITn3v3rEnds ITn3v3rEnds 13-15, F 3 Responses Feb 1

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    I feel like I'm constantly beating myself up on

    the inside about the things I'm not doing right. I have a hard time trying to remember that no one is perfect. None of my thoughts are ever anything like "wow, you're passing all of your classes!", they're mostly "you could have done better, why don't you have a job? you're...
    mollymiller1 mollymiller1 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 8

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    hills to to march over,

    battles to fight, and wars to be won or lose... you told me to keep fighting, but than you refuse to answer my text, you beg me to make promises. and I told you I don't make promises I can't keep. you told me you love me, but where are you now? the tears ran down my face, the...
    lostunit lostunit 26-30, M 2 Responses Feb 1, 2015

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    13 days. It's been thirteen days

    since I last harmed myself.... And I should be proud.. But I'm not. I had the urge to cut again last night, and I told him about it.... He talked me out of it (not fully though, but I decided that I wasn't going to harm myself). I know that he cares,..... And that's the...
    Almostmadeit Almostmadeit 16-17, F 11 Responses Jan 23

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    Hey! Why are you so hard on yourself?

    Don't you know how beautiful and lovely you are? What do you mean I lie? :/ Hey I'm no liar! You're the one lying to yourself! saying, "I ain't good enough, no one love me, no one cares, I'm no good, everyone else is better than me!" STOP IT will yah? I'm sure somebody...
    soyyoprincesa soyyoprincesa 22-25, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    He told the world, on experience project,

    that I made a new skype account and I found someone else, which is why i spent less time on him but the truth is, i work 10 freaking hours a day and i needed to focus even accused me of sex chatting with other guys, nuts! disgusting! ...and you miss him why?... Because...I...
    Qtrelle Qtrelle 26-30, F 2 Responses Sep 28, 2015

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    "Anything for attention with you.

    " Okay so if it's for attention shall I just go and grab a blade and cut myself right in front of you, let you watch as my arm is once again littered with red lines, that then turn white until the next time when I feel useless and numb. You wouldn't care. In your eyes I'm a...
    ThroughRoseGlasses ThroughRoseGlasses 16-17, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    does anyone else experience neck pain from

    anxiety and when I mean neck pain it has to be like the front of your neck
    dahomie1 dahomie1 22-25, M 3 Responses Jan 4

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    I crave having a true

    and genuine connection with a person. Working through my mental health problems is helping, but sometimes I just can't help but feel like I'm wasting away alone. Even when I'm not, the social experiences I have are surface level and artificial. I know that dealing with normal...
    Jules95 Jules95 18-21, F 3 Responses Dec 6, 2015

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    I don't know why I'm in this position again.

    After all the battles I've won, after all the good things that happen why I still let myself fell for this? I just want to smash every mirror because I don't tolerate looking at myself anymore. The fight is intense and I just hate it, everything. Anxiety is eating me alive and...
    AndreaCulea AndreaCulea 22-25, F 1 Response Jan 19

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    I Hate Me!!!

    We've all been there self loathing and wishing we weren't born... You question self and wonder if you should just end it!!! I know... I've tried several times since I was 12 yrs old! Believe it or not... There IS a purpose in you being with us... When you stop the self sabotage...
    Shewolfiie69 Shewolfiie69 36-40, F 7 Responses May 22, 2013

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    so lately has been an emotional roller coaster.

    my counselor tells me it's depression and not to leave my husband even though most days lately I feel nothing towards him and have a lot of anxiety. I have none stop thoughts about not loving him. some days I have no energy and don't even want to do anything. has anyone...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Jan 10

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    It has been a long struggle,

    but I feel like I am finally starting to make positive changes in my life. I hope that things will be great from here on out.
    ErraticSarcastic ErraticSarcastic 26-30, F 3 Responses Nov 2, 2015

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    this is my third trip to Ontario I've taken,

    the end 2015, to spend time with my friend and her family. this time so ups and downs... her daughter hates me and I don't blame her. I hate me too, alot of people hate me, cause I'm not perfect, or the truth, cause I took her mother and father away from her at times, to watch...
    lostunit lostunit 26-30, M 2 Responses Jan 13

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    I messaged my sister yesterday.

    cause I felt like crying. the job I have is ****. I know some people, but there is no one I can talk to, whom I can trust to stay when I'm at my worst, like now. people are afraid, when they are confronted with someone who is depressed, sad, hurt, ... my sister calls me...
    Ilerovers Ilerovers 22-25, F 4 Responses Jan 20

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    Do you ever just feel like you are going to cry

    but the tears just aren't gonna come through? well right now I'm absolutely suffering in that painful state of mixed emotions and having the feeling and fear of the ability of losing control of myself. This scars me. Where everything ok one minute and the next the whole world is...
    unbound97 unbound97 18-21, F Sep 12, 2015

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    I suffer from hyperhidrosis

    and want to arrange a uk meetup for fellow sufferers. who would be interested?
    pbarn pbarn 31-35, M Jan 22

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    so... another week to pass

    and the only thing stopping my memory from all the triggers are these blasted pills. easy to overdose on them just cause that is what they are designed to do to hold the mind at still... but I'm still shattered inside. and there are times I'll cry from the pain. I'll talk to...
    lostunit lostunit 26-30, M 2 Responses Jan 29, 2015

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    I cut myself yesterday

    because I was craving sex. I @"&£@!? Myself. Then binged ate. Then slit my thighs. Back to 0.
    Secretlifeofourbodies Secretlifeofourbodies 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 28, 2015

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    People WITHOUT depression: " God,

    I'm so depressde." People WITH depression: " I'm fine, I'm just tired." It's not always that noticeable!
    Amani95 Amani95 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 15, 2015

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    I knew it was coming.

    I've had too many good days in a row. If I fail to return to my usual self by Friday, Merry Christmas to those who celebrate it.
    MsJessicaRabbit MsJessicaRabbit 26-30, F 9 Responses Dec 21, 2015

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    Soooooo... I could write every little detail in

    here but the "keyboard" on my phone annoys me, so I'll give you the short version. I got bullied all my life wich led to attempted suicide at the age of 15. Then there was that new dude in school and we became friends (I still wonder how I did this). Sadly I became what I hated...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Aug 21, 2015

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    My story isn't as bad

    as most people's but I still suffer from it so.... When I was ten years old my parents started fighting a lot. More than ever. They threw things. yelled, chased each other, threated to hit one another. It was bad and in the eyes of a ten year old, she wanted to disappear. During...
    Littlemiss02 Littlemiss02 13-15, F Apr 27, 2015

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    I have always done my best to be kind

    and understanding of others, doing whatever I can to help people when they are in need and trying to be an overall positive influence on people's lives. Deep down though I am constantly sad, and wonder why I even bother to go on in this world that I can hardly make any sense of...
    QuietStar8 QuietStar8 22-25, M 1 Response Jan 18

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    I know that they're people out there

    that are better than me, I'm very aware that I'm not the most beautiful, talented, sexy, or brilliant minded woman out there in the world but I wish that just once someone would look me in the eye and tell me I am and actually mean it. I know I'll never live up to my own...
    wreckofagirl wreckofagirl 22-25, F 1 Response Jan 24

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    I am messed up. Bad. I don't know what to do

    with my life. I don't know anyone to talk to. I have no friends. My family doesn't love me. I get anxious all the time. I want to be away from everyone. I want to be gone. I don't want to wake up every morning knowing that I will only be sad and lonely all the time. Then these...
    LonelyMystery LonelyMystery 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 7, 2015

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    savoy2 savoy2 46-50, M 1 Response Jan 10

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    Hi! I'm new to all of this,

    but I just wanted to drop by and say something to all of you. You are beautiful, you are worthy and you should know that I believe in you! Some people thinks that having anxiety and depression is so normal that people who has it doesn't need help. They may think it's such a...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Aug 31, 2015

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    Spring time is always

    so hard for me. Not as bad this year as others - thankfully - but this time of year I get very quiet, sullen and all I want to do is disappear. I start to get anxious about leaving the house - people might see me. my mood, internally, is like a roller coaster between nervous...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Mar 28, 2014

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    3 months. Its been 3 months

    since I cut myself. And I'm happy about it. I know that,That is my last cut,And i'll never do it again. Because right now,I'm happy,I know that God is Here. He is here whatever happens,So I will pray for you guys,I hope that someday you'll be genuinely happy. 😊😊
    TheGirlThatNobodyNoticed TheGirlThatNobodyNoticed 13-15 2 Responses Jan 23

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    there are times like today,

    that I wish I could just end my life... I feel like crap, I don't want to do anything, no motivation, no drive... it's like I'm a machine that had something snap and break or someone thru a wrench in the works... I can't think, or anything... I want to close my eyes and sleep...
    lostunit lostunit 26-30, M Jan 16

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    I know it won't go away

    because I'm typing this, but I want to tell everyone here, they're awesome. I know the battle is hard and we'll never be those characters on TV that are completely okay, but each day we're here we're heroes of our own war. we're amazing people with our own uniqueness and...
    Strange2Confused Strange2Confused 22-25, F Nov 7, 2015

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    And now that familiarly uncomfortable part of

    the night begins, where I question everything and feel it all slip away. I start this night the same way I start every night, deciding wether or not to wake up tomorrow morning
    nohopekid nohopekid 18-21, M 1 Response Nov 21, 2014

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    The anxiety is taking over,

    I feel as if I can barely breath, not organize a single thought or action, and I'm so, so tired.
    squirrelbounce squirrelbounce 41-45, F 4 Responses Dec 5, 2014

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    ComicGirl97 ComicGirl97 18-21, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    I'm in bed for the night

    and all that I can think about is how sad I am. Today I went to therapy and made a treatment plan, but also had to make a crisis plan for if I try to hurt or kill myself. I have to share it with my sister and brother in law tomorrow and I don't look forward to it. We lost my dad...
    Cranksta Cranksta 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 13, 2014

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    when I drive i sometimes just want to hit full

    gas and go straight ahead until I hit concrete blocks, or a bridge. but i don't do it. because i am scared, and i want to know how it feels to have a good life, unlike the misery i am in now.
    Ilerovers Ilerovers 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 6

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    I can't stand to look at life

    and feel like its all but a blur. For the past month or so I have tried to stay positive happy and not let things bother me. I have let things go and cut people out of my life. For some time it helped me better myself I even gave up my biggest habit constantly drinking soda. But...
    Claura Claura 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 27, 2015

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    It's always a Catch-22.

    Them: "If you're so depressed, why are you putting on a front and pretending to be happy like nothing is wrong? Just be yourself." Me: "Fine" *gets all mopey and depressing" Them: "Whoa dude. Stop bringing me down and bumming me out! I can't talk to someone that's negative...
    Tuva Tuva 31-35, M 2 Responses May 24, 2015

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    I've always been a skeptical person.

    But I can finally say I think I might have overcome my depression. I'm almost through it. I never thought I'd get here, but I suppose I had to come to terms with what has happened and how I can't change it.
    MatchedWithBlack MatchedWithBlack 16-17, F 1 Response Jan 16

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    "We are all mad here.

    " "But do you know I am mad?" "You must be. Or else you never will have came here."
    GreenManley GreenManley 18-21, M 1 Response Dec 22, 2014

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    The psychiatrists thinking they could fool you;

    Paxil, Zoloft, it's just wasteful to you. I tried meditation, tried to sit in silence, but how the **** does that help a Neuro-chemical imbalance? Why would you tell a person that were childish, without an understanding of the pain they surround in? I always feel foggy somatic...
    RebWolf RebWolf 26-30, M Jan 19

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    Self Reflections My skin is not a tough armor,

    its too thin and easily broken. The air i am inhaling is attenuating with each gasp for breath. My shins are quivering and small hairline fractures litter their outer most layers from too many end of my ropes falls to my knees. The heart that beats within my rib cage is tattered...
    writingmyrelease writingmyrelease 26-30, F 12 Responses Feb 2, 2015

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    Do you ever just want to rip your own chest

    open, because you feel like you are drowning from all of the anxiety, and there just seems to be no relief? I have been like this for weeks, and I see no end in sight, and the only things that would help would get me locked away again.
    NeonAshes NeonAshes 16-17, F 4 Responses Jan 27

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    its one of those days

    where I can't control my anxiety. It comes out of nowhere and makes me feel so helpless. these symptoms are killing me. I just want all these body aches and headaches to go away.I want to control them better but I don't know how.
    dahomie1 dahomie1 22-25, M 8 Responses Dec 7, 2015

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