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I Battle Self-hatred, Anxiety, And Depression

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 4,718 People

    I am just going to let it out.

    .I was physically abused by my father as a child and am still called names by him, worthless and stupid being the most often used. when I was 10 I was sexually assaulted by my cousin when no one was around. I have been suicidal I have cut to numb everything but you know what im...
    silverstar90 silverstar90 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 21

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    It's always a Catch-22.

    Them: "If you're so depressed, why are you putting on a front and pretending to be happy like nothing is wrong? Just be yourself." Me: "Fine" *gets all mopey and depressing" Them: "Whoa dude. Stop bringing me down and bumming me out! I can't talk to someone that's negative...
    Tuva Tuva 31-35, M 1 Response May 24

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    I've been fighting depression

    for about 13 years now. Every now and then I fall into a deep depression but I always managed to stand up again Lately, however, I haven't been able to. It's been almost three years and I still can't get my **** together. It's starting to take a toll on my body and mind. I feel...
    solivagant86 solivagant86 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 15

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    I can't stop them. The whispers.

    .. I never will. They're devouring me completely, stripping me from every ounce of happiness. Plunging me deeper into the darkness...
    Meloryne Meloryne 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 17

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    Where do I even start?

    ... A few days ago, we moved out of Sweden to the states. For some family thing or something. Then, my parents got in a huge fight and divorced. I was given full custody of my dad. Good for me, because my mom was abusive to me and my brothers. I'm always made fun of for being a...
    MangaMinx MangaMinx 16-17, F 4 Responses Aug 15

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    I don't feel good about my physical

    or mental appearance. The only time I feel truly happy is when I'm self harming, and because of that, I'm now recovering from severe self-harmπŸ˜”πŸ˜”πŸ˜”
    PenelopePotter PenelopePotter 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 15

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    "We are all mad here.

    " "But do you know I am mad?" "You must be. Or else you never will have came here."
    GreenManley GreenManley 18-21, M 1 Response Dec 22, 2014

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    I'm feeling down again.

    I swear everyone thinks I'm crazy and I'm not worth anything. It's so hard to hold in my emotions to avoid stressing others out. My mom thinks I have no friends and that no one would possibly be friends with a fool like me unless to make fun of me. She only sides with me if I...
    HowArtThou HowArtThou 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 19

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    It started in 6th grade.

    After my grandfather died ive struggled to keep my head up.
    katlynC katlynC 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 9

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    I'm 21 never had a job,

    I have anxiety and depression,I have suicidal thought,I have 1 friend at the moment, I'm scarred of driving cars, I've had multiple job offers but had too much anxiety to go back and give the jobs a try after getting the jobs. I would describe myself of having an avoidant...
    levrier levrier 18-21, F 5 Responses Apr 21

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    And now that familiarly uncomfortable part of

    the night begins, where I question everything and feel it all slip away. I start this night the same way I start every night, deciding wether or not to wake up tomorrow morning
    nohopekid nohopekid 18-21, M 1 Response Nov 21, 2014

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    I've been cutting more often lately,

    but tonight was the first time I made it bleed. It stings.
    Cranksta Cranksta 18-21, F 4 Responses Jun 5

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    Well I'm not sure if that's what it is exactly.

    . But it seems every time I'm in any social position (due to the personalities that have been able to develop in current times) I feel so much stress.. I know I shouldn't care really, but christ.. It's awful because I can't accept that people will be just be people.. I just feel...
    lenny28 lenny28 18-21, M 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    The anxiety is taking over,

    I feel as if I can barely breath, not organize a single thought or action, and I'm so, so tired.
    squirrelbounce squirrelbounce 41-45, F 4 Responses Dec 5, 2014

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    so... another week to pass

    and the only thing stopping my memory from all the triggers are these blasted pills. easy to overdose on them just cause that is what they are designed to do to hold the mind at still... but I'm still shattered inside. and there are times I'll cry from the pain. I'll talk to...
    lostunit lostunit 26-30, M 2 Responses Jan 29

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    I haven't been feeling well again.

    I did well this past month but I feel like I'm falling again. I'm scared. I don't want to go back to that--to feeling that painful, heavy weight on my chest. I worked so hard. I know that if I fall back to that dark place again I won't have the support of my family or friends. I...
    solivagant86 solivagant86 18-21, F 2 Responses a week ago

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    My story isn't as bad

    as most people's but I still suffer from it so.... When I was ten years old my parents started fighting a lot. More than ever. They threw things. yelled, chased each other, threated to hit one another. It was bad and in the eyes of a ten year old, she wanted to disappear. During...
    Littlemiss02 Littlemiss02 13-15, F Apr 27

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    I don't know why but my depression is acting up.

    I just want to disappear and cease to exist, I feel all hollow on the inside. Like someone scooped out my insides on a plate. I want to curl up with someone and cuddle forever.
    ThroughMyLips ThroughMyLips 18-21, F 5 Responses Jun 17

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    **Trigger Warning** The only time in

    the day that I feel true joy is when I pray to God. That always fades away when I stop though; it's not like I can spend an entire day on my knees. I talk to my friends (sisters) by calling and messaging, and they make me happy, but there's always an absence. There's always that...
    Whobody Whobody 16-17, M 1 Response Aug 15

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    Ive had these problems

    since 7th grade people ask why i have these problems and the reasons are because i was always called fat even though i wasnt, ive been in situations that have made me have panic attacks and anxiety attacks and ive had people close to me say things to me no one should ever hear...
    peblz15 peblz15 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 9

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    I'm in bed for the night

    and all that I can think about is how sad I am. Today I went to therapy and made a treatment plan, but also had to make a crisis plan for if I try to hurt or kill myself. I have to share it with my sister and brother in law tomorrow and I don't look forward to it. We lost my dad...
    Cranksta Cranksta 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 13, 2014

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    Self Reflections My skin is not a tough armor,

    its too thin and easily broken. The air i am inhaling is attenuating with each gasp for breath. My shins are quivering and small hairline fractures litter their outer most layers from too many end of my ropes falls to my knees. The heart that beats within my rib cage is tattered...
    writingmyrelease writingmyrelease 26-30, F 12 Responses Feb 2

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    Hi. I think I have depression.

    I've been crying so much lately especially at night,I lost a lot of weight,I feel worthless and I started hating my appearance. I also avoid going out. I'd rather stay home and overthink. I feel so uncomfortable in public. I feel like everyone hates me and uses me. Life has no...
    panjcatthedisco panjcatthedisco 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 25

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    I'm having too many days

    where I just feel apathy. It all seems pointless. Everything is trivial and hallow. It's like I'm the only one awake and every one else is sleeping, like they are just blind to it. Maybe it's just me.
    hidden7 hidden7 26-30, M 1 Response a week ago

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    anyone have instagram.

    willing to follow and follow me back if you want.
    PeachCreme PeachCreme 18-21, F 3 days ago

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    woke up this morning like here we go again,

    no not again, what will I do today, what is worth doing, more important why cant I do the things that are worth doing, oh its too much I just hide here till something happens, it has won again, I'll try to fight again but it will keep winning. I wanna be alone but I don't where...
    bmorev bmorev 22-25, F 1 Response Aug 15

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    And it's getting hard to fight

    but I am trying my best.
    yourcutelittlejo yourcutelittlejo 16-17, F 1 Response Jul 26

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    I cut myself yesterday

    because I was craving sex. I @"&Β£@!? Myself. Then binged ate. Then slit my thighs. Back to 0.
    Secretlifeofourbodies Secretlifeofourbodies 18-21, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    What is depression? How does it feel like to be

    anxious and depressed? Let me explain what depression is and how it affects you and your daily life... In a nutshell, depression is like the HIV virus. It invades your personal life, tear your emotions and intelligence apart, leaving you confused and vulnerable. Even a small...
    fuwhat fuwhat 18-21, M 4 Responses Aug 14

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    I think I'm eternally living the battle scene

    from the Buffy series finale when all the slayers start losing but suddenly get stronger and start winning again. I feel like so many things in me have died that I'm a husk trying to be a man.
    WarriorsHeart WarriorsHeart 22-25, M 1 Response 6 days ago

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    I think this is a lot more common

    now than it ever used to be, I'm just curious why so many more people seem to be suffering from depression compared to older generations?
    Workingclassman Workingclassman 31-35, M 3 Responses 5 days ago

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    I'm currently battling all those things,

    but the depression has really kicked in again... I feel so tired... If I can't be in that town that I was in all Summer, I don't know what to do... There was something about that town that made everything possible... Magic... It was fun, and I was doing things every day...
    Triforce184 Triforce184 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 23

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    I would like opinions on what you guys think.

    It may be a little long but please listen. It starts when I was maybe five. Please keep in mind I am diagnosed GAD and sleepwalk/talk and show all signs of abuse without actually remembering it. Because I sleep walk and talk I was prescribed ambien to help me stay in bed at...
    LynnT94 LynnT94 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 23

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    Today was my first day back at college

    and already I feel like quitting. Each day looms and seems like it'll be much more horrible that the one before. The crowds are ridiculous and I wish I didn't have to put up with it all. Financial issues, social issues, emotional issues, I'm just a whole puddle of ****** up...
    Bluemusiq Bluemusiq 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 24

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    Hey. It's really late

    and I can't sleep because my brain is circling with thoughts of self hatred and how worthless I am. I don't know what to do about it all. I don't even know why I am posting this.
    justmyconfusedself justmyconfusedself 18-21, F Aug 21

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    Have you ever had days

    that you feel like you deserve everything that you're feeling? It's not exactly suicidal, but just knowing that you've ****** your life up so much that nothing could ever be the same? Just the idea of "relationships" makes you shudder. You're going to **** it up, somehow. You...
    HarleyQuinn326 HarleyQuinn326 22-25, F 1 Response Nov 24, 2014

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    I Hate Me!!!

    We've all been there self loathing and wishing we weren't born... You question self and wonder if you should just end it!!! I know... I've tried several times since I was 12 yrs old! Believe it or not... There IS a purpose in you being with us... When you stop the self sabotage...
    Shewolfiie69 Shewolfiie69 36-40, F 7 Responses May 22, 2013

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    This is my first time posting on here,

    I thought I would give it a try and see if it helps. I've been battling depression and anxiety for four years. However, recently things have been escalating with my mood swings, anger, and sadness. I'm starting to feel like I'm taking my feelings out on others and start to...
    camile579 camile579 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 23

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    deleted deleted 26-30 Aug 16

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    It's a living hell. My anxiety gets

    so bad where I usually faint from the stress and panic. My husband has tried to help me, but he doesn't understand that it's not as simple as a "Just calm down already. It's not even that bad!" If I could calm down that easy, it would be a blessing. I feel like I am drowning and...
    Hannahmikel Hannahmikel 18-21, F Aug 14

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    civix22 civix22 18-21, M Jul 30

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    In the shadow, Forever.

    Drowning in the darkness, Not seen nor heard. Choking on false hopes, Dreams. Where have they gone... To hell Along with my heart, Which has long since shriveled to nothingness.
    AllieKat17 AllieKat17 16-17, F 2 Responses Aug 23

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    I am my own worst enemy,

    but I am also my own best friend...
    Wolf1776 Wolf1776 22-25, M 1 Response Apr 13

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    I was asked if I was okay today,

    and I honestly didn't know how to respond. Especially to the person who asked me. Because that person means a lot to me and all I could do was look at him and try not to cry. I have depression and some times I don't even need a reason to be sad. I just am. How do I stop it? How...
    SexyAngelBitches SexyAngelBitches 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 15

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    A few months before school,

    a lot f weight hit my chest. It's like I couldn't breakthrough the ice from drowning. I was under pressure, stress. My parents weren't accepting my who I was. And I was dealing with drama. I was to the point where my didn't matter to me anymore. I admitted to a teacher who was...
    Nick20954 Nick20954 16-17, M 1 Response 23 hrs ago

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    Spring time is always

    so hard for me. Not as bad this year as others - thankfully - but this time of year I get very quiet, sullen and all I want to do is disappear. I start to get anxious about leaving the house - people might see me. my mood, internally, is like a roller coaster between nervous...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses