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I Battle Self-hatred, Anxiety, And Depression

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 6,288 People

    3 months. Its been 3 months

    since I cut myself. And I'm happy about it. I know that,That is my last cut,And i'll never do it again. Because right now,I'm happy,I know that God is Here. He is here whatever happens,So I will pray for you guys,I hope that someday you'll be genuinely happy. 😊😊
    TheGirlThatNobodyNoticed TheGirlThatNobodyNoticed 13-15 2 Responses Jan 23

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    I know it won't go away

    because I'm typing this, but I want to tell everyone here, they're awesome. I know the battle is hard and we'll never be those characters on TV that are completely okay, but each day we're here we're heroes of our own war. we're amazing people with our own uniqueness and...
    Strange2Confused Strange2Confused 22-25, F Nov 7, 2015

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    This is my first time posting on here,

    I thought I would give it a try and see if it helps. I've been battling depression and anxiety for four years. However, recently things have been escalating with my mood swings, anger, and sadness. I'm starting to feel like I'm taking my feelings out on others and start to...
    camile579 camile579 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 23, 2015

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    It's always a Catch-22.

    Them: "If you're so depressed, why are you putting on a front and pretending to be happy like nothing is wrong? Just be yourself." Me: "Fine" *gets all mopey and depressing" Them: "Whoa dude. Stop bringing me down and bumming me out! I can't talk to someone that's negative...
    Tuva Tuva 31-35, M 2 Responses May 24, 2015

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    Do you ever just want to rip your own chest

    open, because you feel like you are drowning from all of the anxiety, and there just seems to be no relief? I have been like this for weeks, and I see no end in sight, and the only things that would help would get me locked away again.
    NeonAshes NeonAshes 16-17, F 4 Responses Jan 27

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    its one of those days

    where I can't control my anxiety. It comes out of nowhere and makes me feel so helpless. these symptoms are killing me. I just want all these body aches and headaches to go away.I want to control them better but I don't know how.
    dahomie1 dahomie1 22-25, M 8 Responses Dec 7, 2015

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    I have always done my best to be kind

    and understanding of others, doing whatever I can to help people when they are in need and trying to be an overall positive influence on people's lives. Deep down though I am constantly sad, and wonder why I even bother to go on in this world that I can hardly make any sense of...
    QuietStar8 QuietStar8 22-25, M 1 Response Jan 18

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    Soooooo... I could write every little detail in

    here but the "keyboard" on my phone annoys me, so I'll give you the short version. I got bullied all my life wich led to attempted suicide at the age of 15. Then there was that new dude in school and we became friends (I still wonder how I did this). Sadly I became what I hated...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Aug 21, 2015

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    so lately has been an emotional roller coaster.

    my counselor tells me it's depression and not to leave my husband even though most days lately I feel nothing towards him and have a lot of anxiety. I have none stop thoughts about not loving him. some days I have no energy and don't even want to do anything. has anyone...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Jan 10

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    does anyone else experience neck pain from

    anxiety and when I mean neck pain it has to be like the front of your neck
    dahomie1 dahomie1 22-25, M 2 Responses Jan 4

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    He told the world, on experience project,

    that I made a new skype account and I found someone else, which is why i spent less time on him but the truth is, i work 10 freaking hours a day and i needed to focus even accused me of sex chatting with other guys, nuts! disgusting! ...and you miss him why?... Because...I...
    Qtrelle Qtrelle 26-30, F 2 Responses Sep 28, 2015

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    probably care not to be seen by anyone

    but a girl and her family caused this to happen to me at just 15/16 years old. I can't sleep well, relax or have fun when the brainwashing made me paranoid and scared of everything. I want help. I want hugs. I want phone calls. And I can blame the reesby-johnsons for being a...
    DelusionalWolf DelusionalWolf 18-21, M 3 Responses Sep 20, 2015

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    I feel like I'm constantly beating myself up on

    the inside about the things I'm not doing right. I have a hard time trying to remember that no one is perfect. None of my thoughts are ever anything like "wow, you're passing all of your classes!", they're mostly "you could have done better, why don't you have a job? you're...
    mollymiller1 mollymiller1 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 8

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    Spring time is always

    so hard for me. Not as bad this year as others - thankfully - but this time of year I get very quiet, sullen and all I want to do is disappear. I start to get anxious about leaving the house - people might see me. my mood, internally, is like a roller coaster between nervous...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Mar 28, 2014

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    I pushed everyone that I cared about away

    and I built up these walls to protect me. I'm like a bomb I hurt everyone around me. So I figured it was best if I'm alone so I can't hurt anyone else more than I already did. If I'm not hurting myself I'm hurting everyone around me. So I bare it so they don't have to. I'm a...
    MadisonDaWarrior MadisonDaWarrior 13-15, F 3 Responses Feb 2

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    "We are all mad here.

    " "But do you know I am mad?" "You must be. Or else you never will have came here."
    GreenManley GreenManley 18-21, M 1 Response Dec 22, 2014

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    hills to to march over,

    battles to fight, and wars to be won or lose... you told me to keep fighting, but than you refuse to answer my text, you beg me to make promises. and I told you I don't make promises I can't keep. you told me you love me, but where are you now? the tears ran down my face, the...
    lostunit lostunit 26-30, M 2 Responses Feb 1, 2015

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    13 days. It's been thirteen days

    since I last harmed myself.... And I should be proud.. But I'm not. I had the urge to cut again last night, and I told him about it.... He talked me out of it (not fully though, but I decided that I wasn't going to harm myself). I know that he cares,..... And that's the...
    Almostmadeit Almostmadeit 16-17, F 11 Responses Jan 23

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    there are times like today,

    that I wish I could just end my life... I feel like crap, I don't want to do anything, no motivation, no drive... it's like I'm a machine that had something snap and break or someone thru a wrench in the works... I can't think, or anything... I want to close my eyes and sleep...
    lostunit lostunit 26-30, M Jan 16

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    It has been a long struggle,

    but I feel like I am finally starting to make positive changes in my life. I hope that things will be great from here on out.
    ErraticSarcastic ErraticSarcastic 26-30, F 3 Responses Nov 2, 2015

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    The only one who cared enough to help me-my

    mother- has reached her limit. She no longer cares. Instead of showing nothing but affection and loving patience she now openly glares at me. Whenever she bothers to speak to me her tone is always harsh. As I steadily slip back into my depression I know I go in alone. As I type...
    solivagant86 solivagant86 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 13, 2015

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    when I drive i sometimes just want to hit full

    gas and go straight ahead until I hit concrete blocks, or a bridge. but i don't do it. because i am scared, and i want to know how it feels to have a good life, unlike the misery i am in now.
    Ilerovers Ilerovers 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 6

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    I'm in bed for the night

    and all that I can think about is how sad I am. Today I went to therapy and made a treatment plan, but also had to make a crisis plan for if I try to hurt or kill myself. I have to share it with my sister and brother in law tomorrow and I don't look forward to it. We lost my dad...
    Cranksta Cranksta 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 13, 2014

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    I cut myself yesterday

    because I was craving sex. I @"&£@!? Myself. Then binged ate. Then slit my thighs. Back to 0.
    Secretlifeofourbodies Secretlifeofourbodies 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 28, 2015

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    People WITHOUT depression: " God,

    I'm so depressde." People WITH depression: " I'm fine, I'm just tired." It's not always that noticeable!
    Amani95 Amani95 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 15, 2015

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    The anxiety is taking over,

    I feel as if I can barely breath, not organize a single thought or action, and I'm so, so tired.
    squirrelbounce squirrelbounce 41-45, F 4 Responses Dec 5, 2014

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    ComicGirl97 ComicGirl97 18-21, F 2 Responses a week ago

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    I am in the closet about being trans

    and hate my body I have anxiety about them finding out or when my family talk abouts trans people i get all nervous because i feel like their sevretly talking about me even though i know its impossible for them to know the real me but I'm on here trying to find supportive...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    I knew it was coming.

    I've had too many good days in a row. If I fail to return to my usual self by Friday, Merry Christmas to those who celebrate it.
    MsJessicaRabbit MsJessicaRabbit 26-30, F 9 Responses Dec 21, 2015

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    And now that familiarly uncomfortable part of

    the night begins, where I question everything and feel it all slip away. I start this night the same way I start every night, deciding wether or not to wake up tomorrow morning
    nohopekid nohopekid 18-21, M 1 Response Nov 21, 2014

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    Don't be a fvvking idiot in the comments please.

    But okay, so does anyone ever "black out"? Idk if that would be the right term but like sometimes if something is happening I won't remember any convos I had with people and it would be hard to remember everything that was going on. Not going unconscious just not remembering...
    Adeft Adeft 18-21, M 4 Responses 11 hrs ago

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    I am messed up. Bad. I don't know what to do

    with my life. I don't know anyone to talk to. I have no friends. My family doesn't love me. I get anxious all the time. I want to be away from everyone. I want to be gone. I don't want to wake up every morning knowing that I will only be sad and lonely all the time. Then these...
    LonelyMystery LonelyMystery 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 7, 2015

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    My story isn't as bad

    as most people's but I still suffer from it so.... When I was ten years old my parents started fighting a lot. More than ever. They threw things. yelled, chased each other, threated to hit one another. It was bad and in the eyes of a ten year old, she wanted to disappear. During...
    Littlemiss02 Littlemiss02 13-15, F Apr 27, 2015

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    "Anything for attention with you.

    " Okay so if it's for attention shall I just go and grab a blade and cut myself right in front of you, let you watch as my arm is once again littered with red lines, that then turn white until the next time when I feel useless and numb. You wouldn't care. In your eyes I'm a...
    ThroughRoseGlasses ThroughRoseGlasses 16-17, F 1 Response Feb 2

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    it's crazy how depressed I've been lately.

    I've been in pain and so drained and just feeling like I'm going to fall apart any second now...I don't know what to do my family always told me no one was supposed to fight depression alone but they won't stand beside me...so who is supposed to fight with me?
    solivagant86 solivagant86 18-21, F 4 Responses Jan 19

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    I self harm and I have tried suicide I

    overdosed, I about died I just can't escape this thing called life I want to die so badly Any advice would be good Motivation would be great
    ITn3v3rEnds ITn3v3rEnds 13-15, F 2 Responses Feb 1

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    I have all these memories of people

    that don't give a **** about me. Why does every person that I love walk out of my life? What in the hell did I do to deserve this? Everyone leaves me!!
    wreckofagirl wreckofagirl 22-25, F 5 Responses Dec 29, 2015

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    I can't stand to look at life

    and feel like its all but a blur. For the past month or so I have tried to stay positive happy and not let things bother me. I have let things go and cut people out of my life. For some time it helped me better myself I even gave up my biggest habit constantly drinking soda. But...
    Claura Claura 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 27, 2015

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    I crave having a true

    and genuine connection with a person. Working through my mental health problems is helping, but sometimes I just can't help but feel like I'm wasting away alone. Even when I'm not, the social experiences I have are surface level and artificial. I know that dealing with normal...
    Jules95 Jules95 18-21, F 3 Responses Dec 6, 2015

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    savoy2 savoy2 46-50, M 1 Response Jan 10

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    I Hate Me!!!

    We've all been there self loathing and wishing we weren't born... You question self and wonder if you should just end it!!! I know... I've tried several times since I was 12 yrs old! Believe it or not... There IS a purpose in you being with us... When you stop the self sabotage...
    Shewolfiie69 Shewolfiie69 36-40, F 7 Responses May 22, 2013

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    I don't know why I'm in this position again.

    After all the battles I've won, after all the good things that happen why I still let myself fell for this? I just want to smash every mirror because I don't tolerate looking at myself anymore. The fight is intense and I just hate it, everything. Anxiety is eating me alive and...
    AndreaCulea AndreaCulea 22-25, F 1 Response Jan 19

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    I know that they're people out there

    that are better than me, I'm very aware that I'm not the most beautiful, talented, sexy, or brilliant minded woman out there in the world but I wish that just once someone would look me in the eye and tell me I am and actually mean it. I know I'll never live up to my own...
    wreckofagirl wreckofagirl 22-25, F 1 Response Jan 24

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    None of my friends understand.

    They think I'm attention-seeking and exaggerating, it's really hurtful and makes me feel really suicidal. I don't know how to make them understand my issues are valid and I'm struggling. I think it may be impossible. I wish I had different people in my life but I'm too anxious...
    NaomilyShipper NaomilyShipper 13-15, F 5 Responses Sep 15, 2015

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    I have been cutting for almost three years in

    two months. I met my best friend three years tomorrow. I never even thought of cutting till I met her. she WAS a cutter. She managed to get out of cutting befor it got bad, me on the otherhand........well u get the idea. I also have depression, I carry my razor every where I go...
    100BlackRoses 100BlackRoses 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 14, 2015

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