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I Battle Self-hatred, Anxiety, And Depression

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 2,303 People

    I don't want to kill myself,

    I want someone/something to do it for me so I don't hurt my loved ones.
    Undreaaaa Undreaaaa 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 14

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    Why does everything have to be a battle?

    I wish I could just curl up, and never have to look at the world again. I wish i could go back the times i dont remember.
    SilentShadows SilentShadows 16-17, F Oct 8, 2014

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    It Hurts So Good I had noticed,

    that you'd cut your legs, skin as well as hair, while trying to shave, but you cut me as well, with that razor blade, so I show you my heart's scars, that were once made, for some reason, somewhat indescribable, seeing the blood, in the bathroom receptacle, dotted upon a...
    AaronLA AaronLA 31-35, M Dec 28, 2014

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    The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein.

    I heard it was about a tree and a boy. The tree was generous. Very generous, in fact, it may have been too generous. Perhaps a better word for the tree would be altruistic? Being altruistic is giving too much of yourself to someone else and not leaving...
    torr62 torr62 13-15, F 1 Response Dec 18, 2014

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    i cant stop blaming myself

    for making myself sick and feeling this low
    lovelinessbathes lovelinessbathes 31-35, M 1 Response Jan 1

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    All my life I have battled depression

    and my depression is extremely bad for me...all I have to do is look at a knife or anything dangerous and all I want to do is hurt myself...ever since I was little I've suffered from depression I don't feel anything I don't even feel myself I feel like it's someone else...
    Scarsdontfade Scarsdontfade 18-21, F 3 Responses Dec 16, 2014

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    I'm a large woman and I've tried

    so many times to loose weight but I can never really commit to it. Lately I've been thinking that maybe if I forgave all of the people who teased me and tore down in school that I could move on. but how do you forgive the biggest hurt you've ever felt. how do you stop believing...
    beautybehindthefat beautybehindthefat 18-21, F 7 Responses Nov 22, 2014

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    The only thing that keeps my mind off of each

    and one of them for a small amount of time is Two Door Cinema Club
    OutOfTheOrdinary OutOfTheOrdinary 13-15, F Aug 18, 2014

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    I battled self hatred had an ex tell me she

    didn't love me anymore so I was stupid and tried to end my life which would have in time not allowed me to meet my wife
    Bill19641111 Bill19641111 46-50, M 1 Response a week ago

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    Weak. Hopeless. Immobile.

    Alone. Tired. Quiet.
    unknownfamiliar unknownfamiliar 22-25, F Jan 6

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    The anxiety is taking over,

    I feel as if I can barely breath, not organize a single thought or action, and I'm so, so tired.
    squirrelbounce squirrelbounce 41-45, F 5 Responses Dec 5, 2014

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    (Part one of many) This isn’t the story I

    wanted to write. I wanted to write a sci-fi fantasy about a female heroine who overcomes an authoritative eugenically structured society. I wanted to write about bravery, and spirit, and what it means to be free and master of your own destiny. Every time I started, I’d get a...
    Maritmus Maritmus 31-35, F 2 Responses Jul 21, 2014

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    I'm not sure If I'm depressed

    or not I can be happy and laugh with my friends. But when I'm alone in my room with my thoughts that's when it gets bad
    staystrong07 staystrong07 16-17, F 3 Responses Mar 11, 2014

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    Staying Strong

    I wanted to write this because I want to connect with other people that suffer from anxiety and the depression/self-hatred package. In addition I want to give people hope. I'm not completely better, I still struggle, and I still hurt. But, I want others to know that you can keep...
    TinyArtist TinyArtist 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 16, 2013

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    Someone posted about a free app on hypnosis.

    I don't remember where I read it. But I tried it for about a month for my depression and anxiety attacks. I thought maybe it might be a placebo affect, so I waited to make sure. My depression has been paralyzing for me. It's been horrific; the anxiety attacks, the uselessness I...
    Blmy Blmy 46-50, F 1 Response Mar 29, 2014

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    How do you explain to someone the face you put

    on everyday is not because you want to be fake but because if they say the real you, the real broken hurting you, your afraid they will leave? Self hatred is like cancer it slowly makes you change. People usually hate this and try to "cheer you up" though I find this ineffective...
    WingedAshodel WingedAshodel 16-17, F Jul 18, 2014

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    When self-hatred is your motivation.

    Sometimes you need to motivate that hate.
    HarleyQuinn326 HarleyQuinn326 22-25, F Nov 24, 2014

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    I constantly battle my anxiety.

    Right now I have so much on my plate, that I don't even know where to begin and I can feel the tension and anxiety building up inside of me. When this happens I tend to sit around doing nothing because I don't even know where to start....eventually the anxiety builds up so much...
    flightlessbird314 flightlessbird314 22-25, F 2 Responses Mar 25, 2014

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    every lasting fight with my mind,

    over my body. its like a battlefield over middle. only with advance modern weapons. the bombs dropping all around, the small arms fire suppressing my every movement, the artillery of warship and howies never letting up. every hour of everyday, it pounds at you. than the...
    lostunit lostunit 26-30, M 1 Response Jan 7

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    There came a time I just needed to distant

    myself from really close friends and family. No one was understanding me and since I am a pretty sensitive person. I'd pick up on there confusion or frustrations. I started feeling so alone even in a room full of ppl. It was as if I was the planet Pluto far away from everyone...
    tantralad tantralad 22-25, M 1 Response Jan 10

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    I Hate Me!!!

    We've all been there self loathing and wishing we weren't born... You question self and wonder if you should just end it!!! I know... I've tried several times since I was 12 yrs old! Believe it or not... There IS a purpose in you being with us... When you stop the self sabotage...
    Shewolfiie69 Shewolfiie69 36-40, F 7 Responses May 22, 2013

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    Hate

    No one can hate me more than I hate myself. This is the life that I lead. Full of self loathing and inadequacies. I don't live at all.
    CaptainPeachFuzz CaptainPeachFuzz 31-35, T 1 Response Feb 9, 2013

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    Have you ever had days

    that you feel like you deserve everything that you're feeling? It's not exactly suicidal, but just knowing that you've ****** your life up so much that nothing could ever be the same? Just the idea of "relationships" makes you shudder. You're going to **** it up, somehow. You...
    HarleyQuinn326 HarleyQuinn326 22-25, F 3 Responses Nov 24, 2014

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    A role is a role why must we be a self troll?

    What means will help us get beyond this strange looking toll? So Just wonder with us please I'm sitting on the bus and this being comes on the bus, he starts going off talking about stuff as he staring at me. I'm not afraid, but as some of you may know there is something...
    tantralad tantralad 22-25, M Jan 12

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    i was abused by my mom she would beat me

    so bad it would temporarily paralyze my legs. at that time,i was a"worthless *****" and a ***** so i was also told i didnt deserve to live and was eventually placed in foster care, but abused and raped there as wellso now i suffer from Battle Self-hatred, Anxiety, And Depression...
    jazzyjaniah jazzyjaniah 26-30, F Dec 24, 2014

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    Join this group on Facebook

    if you ever need support https://m.facebook.com/groups/480215555420339?ref=bookmark
    im2hot2bemo im2hot2bemo 18-21, F 13 hrs ago

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    It's been a month since I stopped cutting

    and now my step mom has my razor. Everyday I think about taking the razor out of my little sisters sharpeners... :/
    Alina627 Alina627 18-21, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    andylovesyou23 andylovesyou23 13-15, M 1 Response 2 days ago

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    Feeling worthless had an affair 3yrs ago n my

    so called bf is still starting with me over it. I've got a major op on Tuesday n he's told me he's only taking me because he feels sorry for me and that he's not doing it because he cares. Just don't know what to do anymore I've lost him
    hayley34 hayley34 31-35, F 1 Response Apr 9, 2014

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    Am I not here Fading away Sighted

    yet absent Pointless energy Floating in space Holograms, specters, silhouettes Never asked me You just let me Falling deeper No one knows And after all It's just death
    yamang yamang 22-25, M Dec 21, 2014

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    The reason I can't sleep at night isn't

    because I can't actually sleep. It's because I won't let myself sleep. Because I'm terrified that I'll just stop breathing, I'll die, and I know that I can't die right now. I have so many things I haven't done that I need to do. Every night I lay in bed and think "what if I die...
    Bflyboo14 Bflyboo14 13-15, F 1 Response Dec 3, 2014

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    I have attempted suicide 4 times in the last

    year due to anxiety, depression, and self-hatred. I have cut for 6 years and have been hospitalized in a psych ward.
    Grace12345345 Grace12345345 18-21, F Oct 26, 2014

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    I self medicate myself

    because my doctor doesn't really give a crap about me.
    marleigh93 marleigh93 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 28, 2014

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    I lost all my friends

    and now I got some back but I don't exactly want anyone, I've gotten so used to being alone I like it. I'm going Insane. - follow secret account on ig @pale_puke I follow back -
    blweh blweh 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 10

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    And now that familiarly uncomfortable part of

    the night begins, where I question everything and feel it all slip away. I start this night the same way I start every night, deciding wether or not to wake up tomorrow morning
    nohopekid nohopekid 18-21, M Nov 21, 2014

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    I'm in bed for the night

    and all that I can think about is how sad I am. Today I went to therapy and made a treatment plan, but also had to make a crisis plan for if I try to hurt or kill myself. I have to share it with my sister and brother in law tomorrow and I don't look forward to it. We lost my dad...
    Cranksta Cranksta 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 13, 2014

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    Having an off day today.

    It's hard, the holiday season. My dead fathers side of the family is taking such good care of me and for the first time in years I'm being included in the holidays instead of being the one to serve everyone eggnog while they enjoy theirs. But I'm not doing well. All I can think...
    Cranksta Cranksta 18-21, F Dec 5, 2014

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    When you lose a couple of times it's showing

    you what block(belief systems) you can clear For everything on the outside starts with what we believe and pay attention to on the inside You are a Co-creator the blue prints are within ^__^ You all are amazing much grace n peace you have what it takes to be the being you...
    tantralad tantralad 22-25, M Jan 10

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    Scarsdontfade Scarsdontfade 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 17, 2014

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    so... here is the news.

    back in a new place 2 weeks ago. the day after I move in. I splice my left hand thumb down as far as the bone. couldn't feel pain cause it cut nerves and veins... funny when you try to harm yourself you fail, but we you don't, there will be no pain, and a lot of blood. today I...
    lostunit lostunit 26-30, M 4 days ago

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    self hatred arose after being compared to

    everyone, i now feel like im inferior. i tell myself people have it worse off than me, but even so i still feel depressed and i hate myself because of that. i tried to consult my parents about suffering from depression but they laugh and say "stop being such a drama queen" or...
    5203am 5203am 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 10, 2014

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    So lately I haven't really been feeling 100%.

    I know most of my other posts were really cheerful but I guess I was just trying to hide how I really felt with all that, why? I don't even know. My 'best friend' and I don't really talk as often as we used to, it seems like ill have to be the one who starts the conversation...
    PensiveEuphoria PensiveEuphoria 16-17, F Jul 15, 2014

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    In runs in my family they say.

    Depression anxiety runs in my family. So it's my destiny to be depressed. To live a broken life. To have my soul tortured. To fall part daily. To worry about every little thing that I do wrong. To destroy my body with a razor. Slashing violently watching the blood seep from my...
    bubbles1085 bubbles1085 13-15, F 4 Responses Jul 22, 2014

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    "We are all mad here.

    " "But do you know I am mad?" "You must be. Or else you never will have came here."
    GreenManley GreenManley 18-21, M 1 Response Dec 22, 2014

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    Ever since I was young I have not liked myself.

    I've always been called stupid, ugly, fat, you name it and I've probably been called it (even by family and friends.) It hurts me so bad being called all those things. I am always depressed. I fake a smile most of the time, when Inside I'm balling my eyes out. The only thing...
    depressedandhurting depressedandhurting 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 29, 2014

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    I don't understand what's wrong with me.

    I don't know what it is that I'm doing that pushes people away. I know people who are shadier and bitchier than I am but for some reason people flock to them. I'm kind to everyone and shy. Do they take my shyness the wrong way? I feel like people avoid me. I've never had anyone...
    ClarissaAnn ClarissaAnn 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 15, 2014

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    All Things Run In Cycles - The Path Through The

    Darkness If there is one thing I have learned for certain it is that ALL things run in cycles. Funerals and weddings and pregnancies and graduations.... they all come in clusters. Good luck and bad luck... yeah, you know the saying "When it rains it pours"? Or have you ever...
    NoahBody123 NoahBody123 51-55 Apr 16, 2014

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    Triad

    It is interesting to me that self-hatred is listed first. The latter is a main cause or, at least, prolonger of the anxiety and depression that resides... in me. Past events and ideas do influence the aforementioned. However, if I could find the will and means to love myself, I...
    DustToAshes DustToAshes 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 2, 2011

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    Spring time is always

    so hard for me. Not as bad this year as others - thankfully - but this time of year I get very quiet, sullen and all I want to do is disappear. I start to get anxious about leaving the house - people might see me. my mood, internally, is like a roller coaster between nervous...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Mar 28, 2014

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    All my life has been spent struggling to get

    through each day, spent crying silently or in a rage of frustration. My world has been sinking for years, sometimes i just forget who i actually am or what i am meant to be doing on this earth. x
    BrokenWildChild BrokenWildChild 36-40, M Jan 19

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    Terrible day. I feel like I'm

    such a failure at everything, Even gaming didn't make me happy, id just get frustrated and end up turning my ps3 off and crying. 5pm, Emotionally drained. Time for some ****** sleep, hopefully everything's better when i awaken.
    PensiveEuphoria PensiveEuphoria 16-17, F 1 Response Jul 20, 2014

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