I was once a very miserble being. You sound like you are very confused right now. I want to assure you that the God of this universe is very real.
When you said you don't like to go to church because you feel like a sinner. That is excellent, the Holy Spirit convicts us. I don't want to spout a bunch of scripture at you but I will say, the Word of God says that the Word (the bible, the word preached by a preacher, the word spoken by a teacher, etc.) cuts like a two edged sword.
It should hurt, if you are comfortable in church, being a sinner, then we as Christians aren't doing the job that is to be done. When you feel discomfort at church it is God trying to call you to repentence. The only prayer that God hears from a sinner is the prayer for salvation and forgiveness. NOW after you have accepted Jesus as your personal savior, you can begin your relationship with him.
What a change you will experience in your life. I hope and pray that this post help. Suicide is not the answere to your problems, GOD is!
God bless you friend and seek the Lord, he isn't far from you.