I Binge and Purge

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 190 People

    It Always Comes Back

    it seems like it will never stop. I decided i wanted a gap between my thighs, i wasn't overweight, i just wanted the gap. so i tried to skip meals and do exercise, but that actually started getting me really anxious and i started eating a lot and before i noticed i was a binge...
    illbethin illbethin
    18-21, F
    Nov 14, 2012

    Thats the problem! I love food too much

    but i want to be skinny and have hipbones im such disgusting trash, so today i ate 3 doughnut and i puked them up and so far im not feeling hungry
    Ryannvalentine Ryannvalentine
    22-25, T
    Feb 12, 2014

    Casting Tv Documentary Series

    NOW CASTING - I'm casting for a major cable network and we're looking for someone (between the ages of 15-22) who is struggling with an obsession to share their story on non-exploitative, documentary-style television show. Each episode will share personal stories and may provide...
    Chicfortv Chicfortv
    31-35, F
    1 Response Jan 16, 2013

    I have a confession. Im kind of an exercise

    bulimic. Thousands of calories in, thousands of calories out. I feel guilty if i dont work it back off, and i cant control the binges, but got damn eating sprees are fun. I dont want to stop. But PKEASE: do not get in the habit. Its not healthy.
    peaceinmiles peaceinmiles
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jul 5, 2014

    I do binge a lot, but the purging is

    problematic. I don't know if I'm bulimic, all I know is I want to be as skinny as possible but I LOVE EATING so much and I'm just a lazy couch potato. I wish I could throw up easily, unfortunately I have almost no gag reflex. I just went grocery shopping and bought the food I...
    emmacla emmacla
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Jul 26, 2014


    i dont know how much more i can take. of everything this has been arund the longest. and im scared.   earlier i had a pack of biscuits. i didnt even slow down long enough to remember to drink water the whole way through. after purging i was so dizzy, had the whole blurred...
    Tesse Tesse
    18-21, F
    10 Responses Nov 19, 2008

    All To Often

    I binge Purge at least 4x a week, usually more. It's disgusting and shameful.
    2bperfect 2bperfect
    22-25, F
    1 Response Jan 8, 2013

    Haven't been able to purge in 4 days.

    I have a infection and am on antibiotics. It started after I had my last purge ""session"" as I call them. I got these blister things on the roof of my mouth but I brushed it off. I had my cigarette and the next day I was dying with a sore throat. I feel fat and disgusting and...
    depressedandanxious depressedandanxious
    18-21, F
    1 Response Feb 3, 2015

    Please Help Me, I Feel So Scared And Alone!

    Hi! It's such a long story to tell... This is the first time I have ever "told" anyone or explained my story. I am a 17 year old girl. I have no one else to tell and so I think you guys can help me. Everything started less than a year ago, I can't remember exactly when. I also...
    desperatesandy desperatesandy
    Sep 28, 2012

    I Did It Again:-( Can Someone Anyone Relate????

    I'm trying do hard to stop but when I do my anorexia comes back. that is way worse cause people can see. then if that doesn't come back my self harm gets so bad I end up in a and e every 5 secs cause I cut to deep then I'm there cause I'm throwing up blood or fainting and in the...
    pureevil1408 pureevil1408
    13-15, F
    Jan 2, 2013

    Guess What I Just Ate..

    2 cookies 3 bowls of cereal 4 waffles some cottage cheese a plate of nachos salad crunchies? a microwaved smore.. and a couple glasses of milk to make the throwing up easier Oh but at least I passed on the pizza my coworker ordered at lunch??.. wtf is wrong with me?! Seriously...
    randomidiot randomidiot
    31-35, F
    1 Response Aug 23, 2013

    I'm having a panic attack!

    !! I gained a lot of weight! I'm 12 stone and need to get down too 9 in a matter of weeks,will someone please help me!!is this possible?? And if so HOW!!!!!!! Please. Help. Me.
    missann97 missann97
    22-25, F
    1 Response Jun 19, 2015

    Bad Habit..

    I try not to binge and purge but I can't help it. I really can't. I wont eat, and then I get so hungry that I just stuff my face. And all I can do is just watch the weight pack on. I've only purged a few times this month which is good. I'm trying to stop because I know the...
    DetachedCitizen DetachedCitizen
    22-25, F
    1 Response May 2, 2011


    after3 months, i finally can do it again. i think about it all of the time. but never have time anymore. someone is always home. it frustrates me. I got told i lost weight. i was happy. but i wasnt throwing up. until today. i got home from volleyball and ate dinner waited til my...
    ashamed9527 ashamed9527
    Oct 28, 2009

    Has anyone ever done the abc diet

    and lost a lot of weight? I need to lose around 2-3 stone in a month! Please if you could let me know that would be great! Thanks
    missann97 missann97
    22-25, F
    Jun 27, 2015

    I Need To Be Thin

    I feel reallyyyyyy bad harming my body system.. But only in this way do I feel good about it.. I skip meals and only constraint myself to 1 meal per day (eg. Cereals, soup noodles etc..) however, I will feel hungry again and start looking for food.. It takes me 30 mins just to...
    Ineedtobethin Ineedtobethin
    1 Response Mar 22, 2011
    homewardbound1990 homewardbound1990
    16-17, F
    Dec 22, 2014

    Yep... :(

    Usually, I have it under control, but sometimes.... this monster comes out of hiding. I go out and buy whatever's on my mind, from a commercial, or an ad, or a menu, then come back home, and flush it down the toilet. I don't do it as frequently as I used to, but I can say I've...
    Infinite9 Infinite9
    70+, F
    1 Response Jun 17, 2011

    I'm Helpless

    I used to binge and purge, now I started again after what it seems like 5 years. But the problem is that I also smoke now and I know it is even worst if you purge and then smoke. I'm afraid now of having throat or mouth or esophageal cancer, maybe stomach cancer is very...
    Cullien Cullien
    18-21, F
    Jan 12, 2011

    Binge Over 20,000 Calories, Purge Over 100 Times A Day.

    I use food as an escape from reality. I'm locked away in my own little world, and no one can get to me when I'm there. When I'm eating, my thoughts are all on food, and it's better then thinking about anything else... But of course, I can't get 'fat'. So I purge. In a way, the...
    LittleMonster1011 LittleMonster1011
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Feb 12, 2012

    I Don't Want It To Stop.

    It makes me laugh when people tell me I can stop whenever.They act like this isn't part of me.They act like something could replace the feeling I get.Collin is here but still gone.I don't know what I'm doing.I want to tell him everything, but know I will scare him away.He will...
    ashamed9527 ashamed9527
    1 Response Oct 19, 2011

    I just went on one of the biggest binges ever I

    need help!! I can't binge anymore I need to stop
    deleted deleted
    Aug 5, 2015

    Purged For The First Time

    I binge quite a lot. I try to stop and go on diets but I can not stick to them for more than I week so I binge more and get fatter. Today I got sick of my binging so I purged for the first time. It was horrible but it made me feel better as I was glad that all that chocolate and...
    bluebluegirl bluebluegirl
    6 Responses Jan 12, 2012

    I Hate It, It's Hell.

    It started out as a quick weight loss idea. stupidest thing I've done. It quickly became an emotional release. Now when I'm upset, binging and purging is my comfort.
    shanbuh shanbuh
    Feb 10, 2012

    Day 8

    Ok so I'm officially a week in! I weighed myself today and I'm 9 st 3lbs I'm not exactly sure what my starting weight was, but I think I've lost 2/3 lbs in a week! Ok so I had a cheat day today and I'm not feeling great:-( For breakfast I had an elevenses nutri-grain bar For...
    Sarahoc Sarahoc
    18-21, F
    Oct 3, 2013

    I'm Scared.

    i hate to look in the mirror again. i'm scared to start again because i don't want to loose the one i love. i am terrified for my parents to find out. but i just wish i could believe i was beautiful again. the sight of my body hurts. i look back at when i did it everyday...
    ashamed9527 ashamed9527
    Feb 4, 2010

    Instead of Crying

    The tears well up but get stuck at the back of my throat. The nervous stomach is nauseous already.  I could do without dinner but eat it anyway so as not to create undue concern. I then instantly feel full, sick, dirty, awful, heavy And I need cleansed...
    deleted deleted
    2 Responses Nov 20, 2008


    i have been barely eating for quite some time now, also going to the gym lots, running for miles and lifting lots of weights. I felt so guilty three weeks ago for having a large meal that Iforced myself to throw it all up. Now I cant stop myself from purging everything. I know...
    louiseel louiseel
    36-40, F
    Sep 28, 2013

    It'S My Own Form Of A Drug

    so i grew up in a screwed up home with a heroin addict as a father who mentally abused and manipulated me everyday. so i hear i naturally have an addictive personality. okay, so i figure this doesnt mean much because i will never do drugs. and i don't. but i hated my body so much...
    dyingangel47 dyingangel47
    May 1, 2013


    I just binged and it hurts really bad because my stomach is so small from not eating. I can't throw up, which would bring relief, because I don't want my family to get suspicious
    CourtneyRose001 CourtneyRose001
    18-21, F
    Jan 2, 2013

    Went through a terrible cycle today idk what's

    wrong w me. You might call me disgusting but my thoughts are taking over me, I can't control myself anymore. I want to gain weight bcos I sometimes find myself so disgusting when people tell me I've lost weight bcos they have no idea how I lost it. I feel disgusted in my own...
    ELSAhugsyou ELSAhugsyou
    22-25, F
    Apr 5, 2014

    Trying To Stop, Or At Least Cut Down

    I've been b/p-ing for several years now, but recently it's increased in frequency. After several talks with a friend, and a sort of epiphany, I'm realizing I should stop. The thing is, it's at an addictive point. I try to avoid eating, by chew and spitting, then when I have to...
    feelingfoolishlame feelingfoolishlame
    18-21, F
    1 Response Nov 20, 2012

    Love Hate Relationship

    Okay here's my story I suppose, I'm 18 years old I've been binging and purging for about 7 or 8 years on and off, it kinda went out of control my sophomore and junior year of highschool. I was told I was over weight so I started to exercise a lot and I would get hungry and I...
    Miame321 Miame321
    18-21, F
    Oct 24, 2012

    There Goes My Lunch....

    Been thinking about how fat I am and how much I hate my body. At first I stopped eating.. but then I would get so hungry I would just binge on a bunch of food and lay in bed feeling horrible for eating.. then one day.. I realized I could puke it all out and I wouldn't be taking...
    DetachedCitizen DetachedCitizen
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Mar 10, 2011

    My Horror Story

    I'm only 14 and have been stuck in this cycle for 3 years and can't stop, I have ended up in hospital cause of it no one will see me cause they believe it is self inflicted and is all my fault!!! well one day I went to far I still had food in me and it just wouldn't come out!!! I...
    pureevil1408 pureevil1408
    13-15, F
    1 Response Oct 27, 2012

    Bulimia Help

    I am 15 and I am bulimic. I came to this website to talk to people who are going through the same thing as me and understand me so I can open up about my problems to people who I know wont give me a bad reaction, please message me x
    recoverymia recoverymia
    18-21, F
    Feb 21, 2013

    Seven Months

    seven months today. i didnt realize it til now. its been seven months since i last did it. im proud of myself. but its still hard. i cant wait to never struggle with this again. hopefully that day will come.
    ashamed9527 ashamed9527
    5 Responses May 28, 2010

    First Time Ever

    today was the first time i ever stuck my fingers down my throat and puked. not a lot came out and i would have tried to get more out but because it was my first time i didnt really know what i was doing. i was shaking so hard afterwards because of all of the gagging and my...
    lost1234567 lost1234567
    18-21, F
    Aug 2, 2013

    Lost Control

    They say purging is more of a control thing. Maybe that's how it started for me. It seemed foolproof. When you break your fast; purge it up. When you're too lazy to exercise; purge. Ate too much? Purge it up. Is it a control thing? Because it's triggering. This EDNOS.. it's...
    FibreglassWings FibreglassWings
    26-30, F
    Nov 28, 2012

    Ashamed But Proud

    Sometimes just looking at my body hurts. I'm done looking at myself. I can tell I've lost what i used to have. Everyone around me looks so great, but than i look at myself and can't realize whats wrong with me. I am so done with it. The first time I made myself throw up, it was...
    ashamed9527 ashamed9527
    2 Responses Aug 15, 2009

    The First Time...

    I remember the first time... The calls of them all. They all called me "fat" "hippo" and other terrible names. All about my weight. When I got home, I waited for my family to leave the house. Then I went to the bathroom, arched myself over the toilet seat, and took a deep...
    8DeathTheKid8 8DeathTheKid8
    13-15, F
    1 Response Nov 19, 2012

    I Just Did It Again.

    It's been a horrible cycle since I was ten. I am in recovery, and I'm trying to stop. But I just did it again. I binged on two sandwiches, four cookies, a can of soda, and a glass of milk. Then I purged until I literally couldn't breathe. It hurts, so much. I just want to stop...
    gorejussxpsycho gorejussxpsycho
    22-25, F
    Oct 9, 2012

    Bulimia. Day 4:

    today I only ate fries and pickles for lunch Bo breakfast and sonic for supper, but for supper I planned on going out eating the biggest burger getting home and purging but since my mom gas been cathibg up on it she has been looking at my history fir my from I was on online...
    Iwannabe87 Iwannabe87
    13-15, F
    Apr 28, 2011

    Guys I'm gonna start the lemonade detox diet

    for the next 40 days!!do u think i would be able to lose 3 stone in the next 6 weeks on it?
    missann97 missann97
    22-25, F
    Jul 28, 2015

    I need some motivation to keep my body clean.

    It's hard with my mom always around. I've tried to eat less but just results in bingeing and sometimes I can't purge due to circumstances. I must stop eating. But I've started at varsity and I really struggle to concentrate with no energy. I don't really know what to do. All I...
    Lemons2000 Lemons2000
    18-21, F
    1 Response Mar 18, 2015

    Crashing Happiness

    it's been about 7 months that i've been binging and purging. it seems like the only way to keep me from hating my body even more. i used to be anorexic, but i had to be taken to doctors and put on a special diet routine to help try to get better. i started eating more, but after...
    waitingforhope waitingforhope
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Aug 23, 2010

    Guys I'm craving crumpets

    and Nutella! Is it easy to purge out?!! Or is it possible to purge out??? Let me know ASAP
    missann97 missann97
    22-25, F
    1 Response Feb 19, 2015

    I Thought I Was

    fingers down my throut. I had already purged twice. i was just hoping i could once more. i started squirting out blood. my nose was bleeding but i still felt good. Nose bleed last about 2minutes. and i knew i should probably stop for now. tomorrows a new day as i always say.
    ashamed9527 ashamed9527
    Aug 16, 2009
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