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I Cannot Stop Thinking of Suicide

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 166 People

    It Just Won't Go Away

    I've been depressed for a very long time. I don't remember much from my childhood, and am starting to suspect I may have been abused by a family memeber, because I really can't remember huge chunks of my life, my memories really start around 12-13 years old, and I feel like...
    nerdylizzie nerdylizzie
    18-21, F
    1 Response Aug 29, 2009

    Suicide Could Be The Logical Answer...

    Despite two college degrees, being 100% bilingual, and having a clean record, no one hires me. I have figured it out. If I never ever get work at all, and it looks from the proof that it WILL end up that way, I could still live with family... while they are alive. Once they...
    GVike GVike
    36-40, M
    3 Responses Oct 19, 2009

    Yes Or No?

    I wan't to end my life and have wanted to for the past 5 months.I've planed all diffrent way to kill myself but i just can't carry any of them out.I know i have a lot to live for but i just can't get it out of my head.I would of killed my self by now if it wasn't for my...
    Cloud93 Cloud93
    18-21, F
    4 Responses Dec 1, 2009

    Getting Ready For A Rest Home At 40!!

    Right now I am thinking about my child and his future. It has been 3 years since I have worked. In the US, if you have been unemployed for more than 6 months your chances of getting a job are next to none. As a matter of fact, most employers won't look at your resume if your not...
    ChocolateSauce ChocolateSauce
    36-40, F
    Oct 26, 2011

    Best Way To Take Care Of My Kids?

    I think that I have been depressed most of my life...not in such a way that I was unable to function but just so that I rarely felt passionate about anything. I pushed through it as well as I could and did what was expected of me. I got good grades in school and graduated from...
    Snowwhite36 Snowwhite36
    46-50, F
    1 Response Jan 16, 2011

    I Want To Live

    I want to live and have a full, happy life.  But I'm so lonely!!! I have Aspergers Syndrome and have had a difficult time making friends. My social skills have improved but there's still a lot to work on.  I've never had a girlfriend, maybe a female aquaintance, but...
    sunsetblvd sunsetblvd
    18-21, M
    1 Response Dec 23, 2009

    **** U ! I Love U!

    i feel nothing . iam nothing. u dont really see me any way so why should it matter . **** this ! **** u! **** every one and every thing!
    lacey420 lacey420
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Feb 3, 2011

    It Was A Package Deal

    A penny for your thought's and I look at you and say that I was just planning different way's to commit suicide. I can imagine the look of shock that would be on your face. But that is an almost everyday thought for me. It is not somthing that I choose that I want to sit around...
    Robert1256 Robert1256
    51-55, M
    7 Responses Dec 22, 2010

    A Members To Those In This Group...

    I want you to Live, because you know what, Life is better because of you. You make things so much better for me, and I am sure for others. I know you are in a dark spot right now, and you want to give up, but please don't.   It scary, and I know that, I understand the pain...
    deleted deleted
    4 Responses Dec 28, 2009

    Hard To Socialize -w- Bipolar Gets In The Way Of Everything

    It seems no matter how hard i try I can never get socializing right so there fore I have almost no friends. Then bipolar gets in the way with its herky jerky ups and downs people cant handle this especialy when you first meet them. I had a girlfriend for 5 years that fell apart...
    nightshot nightshot
    1 Response Jan 2, 2011

    I Am Thinking About It...

    right now it really seems like a good idea. i fail at everything. i tired to prove myself wrong and tried to do stuff right and i still failed. i am so increadibly stupid. i'm the child that "didn't turn out right". good thing my brother did. hes everything my parents want in a...
    LelouchZero LelouchZero
    18-21, T
    1 Response Sep 13, 2010

    It's like a silent voice in the back of my head.

    I try to make it go away, but the whispers are still there. Just die. Just die. Go die. It's agonizing. Everyday is a battle. I've already attempted it three times. I wish it would just go away. But here I am. I must be stronger than I thought.
    Jbranch14 Jbranch14
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Oct 4, 2014

    I Feel The Same Way.!

    I Feel Like Nothing I Ever Do Is Good Enough.! Nobody Understands Me.! 😔😢💔😞
    Unloved92 Unloved92
    22-25, F
    4 Responses Mar 6, 2014


    All I ever think about is killing myself. Only 2 people know and they think I should go to the hospital. I've been a cutter for 6 years and I've struggled with eating disorders for about 5 years. I've gotten to the point where I just can't care anymore. I feel so...
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Oct 9, 2009

    What do I do? I feel

    so god damn empty like even if I was to shoot myself or bleed out I wouldn't even feel it? Or is it just the fact that I wouldn't care if I did? I have tried a few times in the past and felt it but right now I dont think I would so I really think that I should.
    screwedupmess screwedupmess
    18-21, F
    Jul 10, 2015

    I Am Being Discharged By My Pain Doctor And I'm At The Brink Of Suicide

    Everything was good until I had a flare up and I had to use more of the pain meds so I would not be bedridden and try to find a job. Then he sent me a letter acusing me of overusing for the fun of it and that he wouldn't be my doctor anymore. I am calling him today, and if I...
    isuckateverything isuckateverything
    31-35, F
    3 Responses Feb 15, 2010


    At this point and time I feel like it is the only logical choice I have left, I've felt this way for quite some time. I've had worse days than this but i figured any day's a good day die. I don't really think of it as suicide but more like a way to remove myself from a situation...
    IAmOptimusPrime IAmOptimusPrime
    22-25, F
    Jul 29, 2013

    Suicide A Selfish, Cowardly Act? Or A Logical Solution?

    In the last week or so my suicidal thoughts have gone from zero, zilch, nada to one hundred. I am now at the point where I find myself visualizing writing the note to my hubby and daughter, leaving it on the dining table, then leaping from my building, hanging myself, cutting my...
    downwithhumans downwithhumans
    26-30, F
    Oct 12, 2010

    An Impossible Decision

    Firstly I have dissociative identity disorder, so if I use the term 'we' it's because I share my body with others. For the past week I've been thinking about suicide almost constantly. It's not that I want to die - it's that I don't want to live. Living like this is painful...
    meiswe meiswe
    22-25, F
    Dec 11, 2010

    Im Ashamed

    Even when I think I'm happy I'm thinking about it: the smallest things will set it off. I am so confused and yet I'm not willing to try reaching out again. I constantly think: ok I have a few options: a)I just end it all and stop this chaos b)I e-mail my professor again, maybe...
    FastLaneC3 FastLaneC3
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Jul 4, 2009


    I don't really want to die. Its just that I am not a fan of the alternative. Life should be beautiful. No one should exist merely because they do. I guess I should be honest here... I am an ****** survivor. My father molested me from 6-14, when I finally ran away. I am not...
    SolSkinn SolSkinn
    Sep 26, 2009

    Can't Shake This

    I can't shake this. I just feel hopeless. The only thing that I think is saving me is I have kids, and I found my mom when she tried to overdose and I don't want my kids living with that. But I can't shake it. I am constantly crying. The slightest thing said to me, the wrong...
    lostleggette lostleggette
    36-40, F
    Feb 6, 2010

    People who commit suicide choose to die

    because they want to end the suffering or some cases they found peace. Other people want to prevent that. They think it's wrong and selfish. Selfish because they think people should be obligated to society to share themselves or contribute. (Whether religion, morality, family...
    feint30 feint30
    26-30, M
    Nov 12, 2014

    I Can't Stop Thinking About Suicide!!!!

    There are days I am so depressed, I try to think of different ways that I can kill myself. I think of using a razor blade, or pills, or in the garage in the car. I am on anti-depressants, but they don't seem to be helping. I really don't know what to do.
    swatches swatches
    41-45, F
    6 Responses Nov 26, 2007

    Can't Do It Anymore

    I cannot stop thinking & obsessing about suicide. I go through in fine detail-how, where, when. I get down to the nitty gritty of this. I continually think how i will kill myself from start to finish. What i will look like when i'm dead! I get to the stage where i don't give...
    wowpup wowpup
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Oct 17, 2009

    Pistol To My Temple

    I hate myself, I have no reason to think about killing myself.. My life is going better than it has in a very long time... BUT still here I am thinking of how much better off people would be without me. I sometime dream of how people's would live without me, how it would of been...
    imperfectbeauty imperfectbeauty
    18-21, F
    1 Response Mar 17, 2013

    The Day Draws Near

    It is said that the human body has a will to live over dying, that is why it is so hard for one to end one's own life. Taking an overdsose of pills, drinking whatever, it is a resiliant machine that strives to live. Perhaps it is the mechanics of the human body,kind of like the...
    bluechevy8177 bluechevy8177
    46-50, M
    2 Responses Jan 11, 2012

    Suicide...the Other Other White Meat

    I have spent a really great 4O years. To quote Matthew Sweet "Everything I'll ever be I've Been". After an extremely enjoyable life I'm suddenly experiencing mental issues. The best part of me was my personality and intellect. So thinking logically as I often do I have decided to...
    bvb1123 bvb1123
    41-45, M
    Sep 12, 2010

    Is It Worth Living Another Day?

    Is it worth living another day thats what i ask myself ever single day when i think about ending my life. i feel so lost inside and out like i have no where to run to noone to talk to feeling so hurt inside that it just wont stop it gets worse day by day the only thing i can do...
    Sadnlonelyallday1991 Sadnlonelyallday1991
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Aug 27, 2009

    Why Not Death?

    Until the past three years I'd never given a thought to suicide.  Since three years ago I haven't been able to get it out of my mind.  I've sworn to my wife that I won't and therefore I won't.  But that doesn't keep "those" thoughts from battering at me all ...
    Zotz123 Zotz123
    70+, M
    3 Responses Dec 29, 2009

    Always On My Mind...

    suicide is always on my mind. i can't stop thinking about it. i don't know why i think about ending it so much. I guess cuz im so not happy....i just hate it all. i hate having these thoughts :(
    deleted deleted
    3 Responses Nov 17, 2009

    I sit here and contemplate

    if I should cut just a little bit deeper? Push the blade a little bit harder? Why should I eve. Still try? I've been raped and hurt way to many times. I was strong for so long. But everything is slowly breaking me back down to the old me. I just wanna be a happy girl with a...
    kittensbroken kittensbroken
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Dec 27, 2014


    Every second of every day I am thinking about how to end this. If only I wasn't so weak.... lazy rather. I think if I could shake this lethargy I could find a way out of here. It is not about dying, but rather about stopping the inevitable: People I love... Memories... Enjoyments...
    menschfeind menschfeind
    Jun 21, 2010

    Do people fear death?

    Do depressed people fear death less? Do crazy people even care about death? Ive been depressed for awhile, and have constantly contemplated about my death. Often I think what would happen to the people I leave behind. Even thoughts of faking an elaborate accident to mask my...
    feint30 feint30
    26-30, M
    3 Responses Nov 20, 2014

    Always On My Mind

    I think about suicide all day, every day. I can't help it and no matter what I do my mind always goes back to the thought of suicide. Even when I'm in a somewhat good mood, all of a sudden my thoughts will shift and my mind will tell me that suicide is a good idea and the only...
    suicidalloser183 suicidalloser183
    22-25, F
    Feb 2, 2012

    Suicidal Lifestyle

    There is not a day that goes by where im not thinking about killing myself, I've been depressed for 15 years im in therapy and getting treatment but it all seems like such a lost cause. I have daydreams of how I can end it all on a daily basis! Im really messed up, screwed, but...
    Wan2enditalltoday Wan2enditalltoday
    31-35, M
    Jun 20, 2013

    Totally spent (Warning: may be triggering)

    I want nothing else anymore. I cannot be helped. I have so many problems that, by their nature, are not really solvable (e.g. I'm transgendered). I've tried, and am trying, a number of different treatments. But honestly, I don't want to be "helped" anymore; I just want...
    TheOtherWindow TheOtherWindow
    26-30, T
    7 Responses Dec 28, 2009
    thatonehighguy thatonehighguy
    18-21, M
    Aug 19, 2015

    Why Bother Anymore?

    In the past 12 months, I've been raped and found out my mom has cancer.  I've lost touch with all my friends because I don't want to leave my apartment most of the time unless its a necessity.  I finally thought things were turning around.  That something was going...
    brokentopieces brokentopieces
    18-21, F
    Feb 2, 2010

    Suicidal But Not Depressed

    How weird is this? I have a great life, great marriage, lovely children, my life is pretty comfortable, I don´t have problems with family, work and I do not have financial problems, however, I think of suicide every day.  I don´t like life, I can´t convince...
    Alice27 Alice27
    26-30, F
    3 Responses Sep 4, 2009

    Off And On

    i have been dealing with suicide issues off and on since i was about 12 or 13, I am 20 now. sometimes i can control it, other times, it turns out pretty bad. i have numerous times and ended up in crisis centers twice. i dont know why i cant. i ended up in the...
    miley89 miley89
    18-21, F
    Nov 28, 2009

    Working Up The Courage For The End

    I feel lost, confused, unknown of my true purpose. I do not feel as though this world I live in I belong. I feel that I am a stranger passing through and got trapped in this unending, unreal world where nothing make no one make trully any sense. I trully feel I do not...
    31-35, M
    3 Responses Jan 1, 2010
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