Post

I Can't Get Close to People

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 975 People

    Nor Do I Desperately Want To...

    I love and cherish my alone time. I had a girlfriend for a year and loved her more than my own life, but she broke up with me, and I have no desire to find someone else. My friends are my friends, and I enjoy spending time with them, but I would much rather be alone. I enjoy...
    TranquilTalk TranquilTalk 18-21, M Apr 20, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Just Can't.

    I get scared I'm going to get hurt. I hate to take a chance and be vulnerable when my feelings are on the line. I also have self-esteem issues where I don't feel good enough. It's hard for me to open up and take a chance. Not that I have that many offers anyway lol. Once people...
    oldaccount oldaccount 18-21, M 4 Responses Oct 23, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Have Major Trust Issues. ...

    I have MAJOR trust issues. There are ppl I would say I'm close to but NO ONE that knows me completely...no one that I can honestly say I'm always 100% truthful with. I always tell half truths so that I don't give out too much information ya know. I'm always careful about what I...
    pepsi21addict pepsi21addict 21-25, F 2 Responses Aug 5, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    And I'd Rather Not

    I isolate myself so well. It's an art form and I've perfected it. Outside of Ep, I find it really hard to let people in. Even with good friends I bite my tongue. I like observing, I don't like exposing myself even in insignificant ways. I am secretive, and it's hard for me to let...
    Girlonwire Girlonwire 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 10, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A Quote I Just Read

    I just started reading a new book and it started off with the following quote: A number of porcupines huddled together for warmth on a cold day in winter; but, as they began to pr*ck one another with their quills, they were obliged to disperse....At last, after many turns of...
    bizbuz bizbuz 36-40, M 2 Responses Feb 11, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Cant Remain Close To Girls.

    Im in a relationship with the most beautiful girl ive ever met. But I already have doubts about if im not good enough or if i can make her happy. And I constantly feel like shes gonna cheat on me. All this worry gives me tons of anxiety. Ive been like this most of my life and end...
    Anxiety850 Anxiety850 26-30, M 1 Response Dec 28, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Trust Issues.

    When you've been gossiped about, and stabbed in the back enough, you start to realize, that the world is full of unkind people. You start to realize that... Your friends don't really like you. They don't want you here. They want you to leave them alone. That you're annoying. And...
    Fuzzies Fuzzies 56-60, M 5 Responses Apr 7, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Am Trying to Stay Away From ...

    I am trying to stay away from toxic relationships, i do have a few people, i am close to.
    mother mother 61-65, F 2 Responses Aug 15, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A Resolution!

    I am learning more and more with time that I really don't need to  know other people's opinions. I am well equipped with  my own way of knowing what works for me and spent way too much time in the past conferring with others only to be stomped in my face and...
    caramelpeace caramelpeace 36-40, F 4 Responses Jan 2, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Can Only Get So Far. ...

    I can only get so far. Not letting anyone know what I am really feeling keeps a barrier of sorts between me and everyone else. I just recently had a new co-worker tell me she thought that I was mean when she first met me. OMG! Seriously, I laughed but inside it was a huge OUCH...
    starfly starfly 26-30, F Aug 5, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    ..............

    I dont know how to get close to people I guess it cause im afraid of being hurt but I just cant
    PRETTYGIRLHATESTHEWORLD PRETTYGIRLHATESTHEWORLD 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 14, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Idk

    I think I'm just socially inept when it comes to getting close to people, so I've just given up.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Aug 16, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    More In A Literal Stance

    Things have happened and I just cannot go within more of two feet of person. I guess that can be taken figuritve sense as well.
    MissingIdentidy MissingIdentidy 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 19, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Can't Get Close To People.

    When I was growing up I had a step dad that "taught" me ( beat me) to not show any emotions because it would mean that your a weak man. So I grew up keeping all my emotions in me. Everyone I meet don't really want to spend any time with me because they think I'm emotionless. And...
    tylerlou tylerlou 18-21, M 2 Responses Aug 28, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Have A Hard Time Making New Friends

    As I've grown older, I've grown shyer and more withdrawn.  I started to notice in my teenage years that I could not really connect with people or make friends that easily.  Eventually, in high school, I had some friends, played in various bands, and, come to think of...
    ClassOf200Hate ClassOf200Hate 26-30, F 5 Responses Jul 2, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Need Boot Camp For Intimacy!

    I ran across this group by Googling "I can't get close to people."  Isn't the Internet wonderful? I just turned 52 and it seems that's usually my cue to ponder how inadequate my social and emotional life is.  I'm actually quite accomplished in many areas of...
    jla520 jla520 51-55, F 1 Response Nov 18, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It's Just A Thing, Man

    I really have a lot of trust issues. It takes a lot to break through my barrier of mistrust and even then I don't let people get too close for a while.
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Feb 2, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My Weakness Is That I Care Too Much

    i care too much what people will think if they know the real me. only one person really knows me. and im still hiding alot from her. and shes my best friend. to be completely honest i cant get too close to people. because im scared of getting hurt. the ones who are the...
    youdontknowme54321 youdontknowme54321 16-18, F 5 Responses Dec 13, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Don't Know Why

    I guess my reason is that I just don't know how.  I am afraid of letting people in, letting them see the real me.  I think it's because I don't even know the real me, so how can I let other people in?  I wish I could, I don't like having this barrier that people...
    boudica1224 boudica1224 22-25, F 1 Response Dec 15, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Bubble Girl

    It's just so difficult for me to open up and let people close. My "self" is so guarded, there isn't really a way for me to just let people in. They have to do things to sort of prove themselves to me. Not certain things, and for different people it may take more or less things...
    angeldancer angeldancer 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 19, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Comforting Someone Crying

    Last year, I was in a room with a friend, more like an acquaintance at the time, and she looked very upset.  She was on my roommate's bed and I was in the other.  She was crying I think, and I handed her a box of tissues.  She was upset over her boyfriend and what...
    EileenRamQ EileenRamQ 19-21, F 4 Responses Sep 25, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Once I get close to someone.

    I get too attached.
    LilRedFoxTail LilRedFoxTail 18-21, M Mar 15

    Your Response

    Cancel

    How to Get and Stay Close to People?

    Outside of my blood relatives (and I don't often talk to or see them), I've lost touch with everyone I've ever known. My husband is the longest I've known someone for and it has been less than 5 years since we met. I know he loves me but he doesn't really know me and I'm afraid...
    Sandra Sandra 26-30, F 3 Responses Aug 7, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I am a closed book. ...

    I am a closed book. I think that I push people away on purpose. I dont mean to, but I do.
    silvertears silvertears 31-35, F 2 Responses Aug 5, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Am Afraid to Reveal Myself

    I had a friend tell me the other day that I am "so damned reserved" that no one knows what is going on with me.  I put on the happy face, I interact, I'm social, I joke around, but when it comes to revealing anything about who I really am, I just can't seem to do...
    Molly23 Molly23 36-40, F 1 Response Nov 7, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    More like they can't get close to me,

    due to me not letting them. It's become like a protective barrier, I feel if I let them in, it will all end in tears one way or the other, and I'd rather not put myself or others in misery, so I just avoid those situations altogether. Happiness is key, for the time being. I like...
    Ryanholmes20375 Ryanholmes20375 18-21, M Mar 15

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Always Get Close to People A...

    I always get close to people and they just let me down I need someone who won't disappoint me anymore. My ex disappointed me after 4 yrs and my baby father did the same. My father disappointed me my whole life and now my best friend is doing the same. But it's not all his fault...
    SoDone SoDone 16-18, F Dec 13, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Fear

    I am afraid to get close to people again. let anyone see and get to know the real me... I don't know if I could try to accept someone only to not be accept in the end. How do u do that?
    DamensWalker81 DamensWalker81 31-35, F 1 Response Oct 7, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Theme of My Life.  I ...

    The theme of my life.  I really feel no connection to anyone.  It's like I'm watching everyone else on television.
    Mandragora Mandragora 46-50, F Oct 20, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Im Afraid to Get to Close to P...

    im afraid to get to close to people. they always leave me. I think its all in my head but tell that to my feelings and heart.
    irishwannabeky irishwannabeky 26-30, F Oct 20, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Can't Even Bother, I Don't Know How To . . .

     Condition aside. Being alone used to feel like a choice. But lately I've become some sort of repellant . I ramble. Im inappropriate.  All the things to give a person the excuse to run and hide from me, i give. My choice, not anymore. I think I crippled my self socially. Any...
    InspiredbyHair InspiredbyHair 18-21, F 4 Responses Dec 8, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Too Painful

    I cant get close to people since its to painful for me.Ive gotten hurt alot by people that i was close with,people that i though would never hurt me the way they did.Ive tried to get close to people thats been in my life forever,but i cant.I dont want to get hurt anymore so i mak...
    demonicsangel2011 demonicsangel2011 18-21, F Oct 18, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Its Normal For Me

     i dont like to ..it seems like everytime i do ... i get hurt .  my therapist says i only let people get so close to me before i shut down and either keep it where it is or cut them out completely .And i know i do ... its a defense mechanism ... and it keeps me from...
    starstruck2xtrme starstruck2xtrme 26-30, F 1 Response Aug 24, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Void Of Emotions.

    The people i my life are statistically categorized as this: 1% (this only being my husband) care for me and i give the same care back, 4% (mother, father, grandmother) are close only out of basic relation but are usually negligent, 15% (in-laws, husbands sibling) know near...
    aliceXIONU aliceXIONU 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 1, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    True Story

    I have problems getting close to people. I am starting to realize that I am a difficult person to get to know. And very few people know even the half of it. I’m guarded and I don’t break easily; no matter how close I am to people, I know that most of them are still kept at a...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Apr 17, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Needs To Be Improved!

    I do get close to people, very quickly in fact. People i meet on daily basis, from classes, school. But as soon as I lose touch with them, its like we were never friends before. And I hate small talk. Be it my relatives, or someone i met for the first time or after a long time, I...
    ftale ftale 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 28, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Scare People, But I Dont Know Why

    Hi, well, my life has always being complicated, I dont have a lot of friends, I used to be bullied at school, because I was shy, and I am a year ahead at school so I am younger than almost all my classmates, also my Intellectual coeficient is high (135-140) and I am obsessive...
    mccintosh mccintosh 18-21, M Aug 16, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Everyone Fades...

    People tell me to be "open". But the second that I am "open" people just disappear. They aren't even worth the effort anymore because my life isn't getting better and no one sticks around me. This is why I'd rather stay "closed" because I know that 99.9% of people will always...
    LovelessDeluxe LovelessDeluxe 22-25 7 Responses Aug 15, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Bewildered

    I like myself and know that I'm different from most women. I love football and hate shopping. Most of my life has been about having fun. My relationships have all been the same - intense for two years then loss of interest. I definitely meet the same guy over and over. I...
    rabuf rabuf 51-55 2 Responses Sep 10, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Not After a Certain Point, Anyway.

    I used to be very very shy until about halfway through high school. I experienced a lot of social rejection when I was a kid - same old thing about children being cruel to the different ones - but a lot of people can say that. Still, I can remember getting the warm fuzzies when...
    DamageCtrl DamageCtrl 18-21, F 4 Responses Sep 23, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Am My Best Friend

    I am somewhat eccentric and a bit anti-social. I have a few trust issues that gets in the way of making friends. I can't get close to people for the fear of becoming vulnerable and setting myself up for rejection. The thought is unbearable and it's much easier to be withdrawn...
    tessa4ever tessa4ever 31-35, F 1 Response Jun 5, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Can You Hear Me?

    I think I can't get close to people because i sub-consciously push them away because of fear or I think it may have to do with my upbringing. I'm not close to my father. To me, he's just there. I try to get close, but he's not much of a talker, and neither am I. Our relationship...
    closedwindow closedwindow 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 5, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I used to get close to people,...

    I used to get close to people, but then in time I relize it comes with a price, you get hurt, so now I keep my distance and only stay close with those I truly know.
    rosygal rosygal 46-50, F 2 Responses Aug 5, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Breaking An Invisible Barrier

    it is like i am living..or walking around in a bubble...a strong one that is...and i just cannot get close to people. im talking both physically and emotionally. it is always either i back away or the other person does it. i wonder why for ages. is it because i am different? but...
    madamoiselle madamoiselle 16-18, F 4 Responses Jun 28, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    At Arms Length

    Due to my way of thinking and how my mind seems to work when analysing those awkward or hard situations that arise in life, i tend to keep everyone at arms length, no-one truly knows me both inside and out, i feel as though there is no need for discussion upon an issue unless...
    YellowLilyPad YellowLilyPad 18-21, F Nov 26, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm Just Too Scared to

    i don't like to get close to people cos i'm scared of losing them. it's hapened alot before so i now constantly fear losing people. with my ex-boyfriend, i pushed him away cos i was scared that i would hurt him, or i would lose him later on, so i pushed him away and we split up...
    sezy sezy 16-17, F Aug 17, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I used to get close to people quickly

    now I don't, the fear of being blissfully happy installs fear and dread inside me incase it's taken from me again.
    Paleandpolluted86 Paleandpolluted86 26-30, F Jan 11

    Your Response

    Cancel

    They All Think I Care

    From what I have been told, I am charming, friendly, funny, outgoing, relatable, and comfortable to be around. People remember me and are for some reason drawn to me. I have a pretty nice circle of friends of which I am actually the leader. Sounds pompous, I know. But it's true...
    selinamb selinamb 26-30, F 2 Responses Jun 21, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Related Experiences

    "I hope they cannot see the limitless potential, living inside of me, to murder everything. I hope they cannot see; I am the great destroyer." - Trent Reznor (The Great Destroyer...
    Lullacus Lullacus 18-21, F Apr 13

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I am really fat. It sucks. In all honesty, I don't give a **** about my weight. Don't give a **** about how I look. However, there's this guy...(of course). He's really into sports...
    deathbear deathbear 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 9

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Is it so hard to say what you really mean? If you don't mean it, don't say it at all. For ex. if you don't want to hang out with someone, don't make an appointment out of...
    NchK NchK 31-35, F 23 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I don't think I can forgive my husband for the way that he acted when my father got sick and passed away from prostate cancer after a 10 year battle against it. My dad was pretty...
    idk8 idk8 31-35, F 1 Response Mar 24

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Hello guys, I hope you're all doing well. I sort of hesitated about the idea of posting my experience here but I decided to do so. I sort of think that I have been a schizoid my...
    Bloodyshrines Bloodyshrines 13-15, F 2 Responses Apr 10

    Your Response

    Cancel
    being cheated on wasn't the part that pissed me off the most though. it's more of my attitude towards people & finding it hard to trust anyone afterwards. after being cheated on...
    corona135 corona135 22-25 2 Responses 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I recently joined this community in hopes to get many things off my chest, and hopefully get some positivity from anyone who’s willing to listen. My name is Zach and I’m 19...
    Zach001 Zach001 18-21, M 1 Response Apr 6

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I often suspect countless people, no matter how close or distant they are to me, of countless things. I never feel like I can quite put my guard down because of my innumerable...
    Kavka Kavka 18-21, M Apr 4

    Your Response

    Cancel