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I Can't Let Go of the Past

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 374 People

    It Always Comes Back

    I remember nearly all of the little tiny mistakes that I have made, and almost all the things that bullies used to do to me. Silly stupid things such as showing to much vulnerability at one point, a bully pushing me down, or being too bossy at one point. My memory just mocks me...
    Katryan Katryan 18-21, F Jun 10, 2013

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    Looks Like Another Long Night

    So, it's been a while since I've been on here. I took a sabbatical to clear my mind...even started doing better. My new found peace was rather short lived as I had a letter from someone I loved dearly a long time ago waiting for me. I wish I would've had the strength to leave...
    johnsb78 johnsb78 31-35, M May 28, 2013

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    The Monsters In the Rear View Mirror

    I am plagued by memories I wish I could forget.  Stupid choices going back to childhood, and painful events in my past that still affect how I feel about myself and those around me.  Sometimes I wish I could get amnesia, and forget everything.  I can remember...
    rustyhalo rustyhalo 41-45 3 Responses Jun 8, 2009

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    Can't Let Any Memory Go

    I'm 21 .. And I relive memories in my head almost every day , there not bad memories just every memory I can think of , it's hard to explain, it's like I get very down and depressed when I relive them in my head , like I feel only I have them and I am stuck in the past in my head...
    Chris3470 Chris3470 18-21 1 Response Jan 23, 2013

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    My Past Haunts Me

    I find it hard to really close the door on the child abuse I went through - I know I obsess over it...people try to help with bullying and that is not the answer for me. A radio friend told me there is nothing wrong with re-inventing yourself... well I wish I could and maybe I...
    czaristacrystals czaristacrystals 36-40, F 2 Responses Jun 11, 2011

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    I experienced a school tragedy at the age of 9.

    I watched my family fall apart from my Dad's drinking and my Mother's Bipolar. I feel like I have mental illness like her. I'm a repeating record on my issues so no one wants to hear them from me anymore. I can't afford to go to the doctor so I'm stuck with these thoughts in my...
    ChelsEli ChelsEli 22-25, F 1 Response May 27

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    It will always be a part of me

    and I'll always love him, whether it's the way I'm suppose to or not. He's always going to be a part of my life and I am trying to let go of everything but it's just too had to.
    Raiders17 Raiders17 18-21, F Jun 17

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    Kimbra's "withdraw" Says It All..

    no matter how important it was or how long ago it happened, i can't let go of ANYTHING that happened in the past. contasntly replaying memories and reliving them as if they're happening again and again. sometimes, even responding to them out loud, either repeating what i said or...
    matiswest matiswest 18-21, M 1 Response Nov 18, 2012

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    Something That Was Never Meant to Be...

    okay, i usually don't do this sort of thing. Here it goes. When i was younger(alot younger) i fell madly in love with a man that was older(alot older) than myself. It was heaven while it lasted and i've never felt that way with anyone else, even after twelve years. Anyways, here...
    gingy gingy 26-30 4 Responses Jul 3, 2008

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    I Can't Let Go.

    About a year ago, a guy started talking to me and then a few months later, my best friend as well. We didn't really think much of it until we realized we both had feelings for him. I'd liked him to begin with (she knew that) but it wasn't long before he decided I wasn't good...
    Nicoletaylor12 Nicoletaylor12 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 28, 2012

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    Okay so I have been friends with this girl

    for like 6 years. Last week we slept together and I'm not sure if it meant anything we were both quite drunk but it really felt special to me I really want her again and I have no idea how to tell her and the experience just keeps going around in my head I don't know what to do...
    lozsoz1 lozsoz1 18-21, F Jul 5

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    It Is Like Yesterday

    I seldom looked back during my working life -- I was too busy. Now I am semiretired and have more time and my memories are like yesterday. I remember evrything about my wife and our going out together , to her dismay. She had things to hide but I remember them well. I...
    anthony2001 anthony2001 61-65, M Mar 28, 2012

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    Though I Desperately Need To..

    Its probably my biggest obstacle. I don't know why I punish myself so much for the stupidest little things that happened so long ago. I still hang on to comments that were said to me when I was a small child. But most prevalent of them all, is the fact that I can't ever stand up...
    NatureGirl23 NatureGirl23 22-25, F 2 Responses Jul 23, 2008

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    Lies

    I used to lie to people and myself about what happened to me because of the shamess, guilt and fears. Even though I pretended that everything was going okay and that I was feeling normal, deep down I was aware that I lived and made people live in lies. It took me a very long time...
    SomewhereTomorrow SomewhereTomorrow 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 4, 2012

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    Bad Dreams

    We woke up at 3:30 am. Her diving coach came in and gave her a pep talk for the meet in a few hours and thanked me for being supportive.  I told her she isn't to see him any more.  She doesn't like that and we get into a huge fight and she leaves.  Gone.  And I'm left...
    TheChaos TheChaos 36-40, M Sep 18, 2013

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    It Might Sound Stupid To You....

    I'm 13 years old. I don't think I was ever "in love", I'm not that neive. But, I have had someone in my life that I truely cared about with everything in me. Thats a fact. I went out with this boy(lets call him Jim) in 6th grade. It wasn't this stupid "I like you." "I like...
    Whocares1214 Whocares1214 13-15, F May 3, 2010

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    I'm one of those people

    who strongly believe that if they want something hard enough, they can get it. However, at the same time I realize I'm not like that at all. Sometimes, in small things - sure. But I find myself still thinking about the same guy every day for the 6th year now and regretting the...
    LadyCinephile LadyCinephile 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 18

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    My Little Girl...

    I had a dream last night that I gave birth. I didn't know I was pregnant. She was premature and abnormally small, but was perfectly healthy. I named her Starburst, and she was the most beautiful baby I've ever seen. She grew very quickly, but was happy, and loved me. At first I...
    imgettingthere imgettingthere 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 7, 2011

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    Still Causing Pain

    I'm trying very hard not to let the abuse I suffer at the hands of my ex-boyfriend define who I am NOW, but it would also be wrong of me to say it does not. I don't know where I was or even what I did to invite him to start stocking me... I'm trying to grow and change so why can...
    CMA1234 CMA1234 46-50, F Jan 10, 2013

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    The Universe

    Points us in the directions we can go.. we decide what paths we take.. why does mine keep going back.. without the past experiences I wouldn't be who I am today... and I can embrace the mistakes and the good times too.. but the one thing I cannot do is get myself out of the...
    ticktockgoestheclock ticktockgoestheclock 26-30, F Jul 2, 2013

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    It's 1 hour before midnight

    and I'm lying in the dark on a bed that I share with my current boyfriend, crying and missing the guy who left me to go on exchange last year. I didn't love him. I don't. But what we had was sweet and when times are hard, like now, it seems sweeter and it makes me miss him more...
    ashcrnd ashcrnd 22-25, F Jul 5

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    My Life Is Stuck

    it's almost 3am and again i can't sleep i think too much, and it especially seems to hit me when i go to bed, even if i have thought i was tired i spend a lot of time thinking/dwelling on my past and therefore it is still affecting my life, even though i should have moved on long...
    fremantle fremantle 36-40, F 6 Responses Mar 18, 2011

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    The summer i'll NEVER forget

    I wish i could re-live when i was between the ages of 17 and 18 years old because i had the greatest life in my opinion. When i was 17 years old it was the end of February when i met my then 28 year old boyfriend. I was turning 18 the month after so we just talked until then and...
    gardengirl17 gardengirl17 22-25, F Jan 11, 2012

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    I Feel Like I'm Dying Inside I Feel Like I'm Dying Inside

    I don't want to get in to the marriage that's in the past, But I have children with this man so I am forever bound to him, About a month ago I was concerned about affording back to school clothing so I called their Father to ask for some financial help and that's where I messed...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Sep 14, 2013

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    A Decade and Counting

      What are you looking for? Like countless others, all I seek is a molecule shaking love that redefines everything. Simple, right? (I kid.) Unfortunately or fortunately, depending upon the song heard or poet read, I have been there, once.  And that memory...
    FingerRiot FingerRiot 36-40, M 1 Response Aug 26, 2009

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    Poem Of Not Letting Go........

    I can't let go of the past, I still can't believe I let you drive away, I can't believe you slipped through my fingers. I should have ran after you, I should have said sorry, but I was too proud, now I'm all alone, you're back in town. You still have that sweetness in your eyes...
    mysteryteen mysteryteen 16-17, F Aug 29, 2011

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    I Feel Like It Follows And Will Never Go Away :(

    Well all i can say is i hope these messages to her change this but i have to say i have a hard time letting go of someone i was with for 15 months engaged the whole nine yards everything looked great till it crumbled. my life came to a rather abrupt halt when she not only broke...
    C11H26NO2PS C11H26NO2PS 18-21, M Mar 6, 2010

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    I'm Trying

    I want the past to be the past. I want it to stay where it is. I want it not to matter.
    Ragelovelumos Ragelovelumos 18-21, F Oct 23, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    I'm 21 and I cling to everything I can remember, which isn't much of a good thing... I remember heart break, physical agony, emotional torture, and memories that I wish I could...
    Christuh Christuh 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 21

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    I'm down letting my guard down, done it too many times to only be hurt.
    SimplyAmazingx SimplyAmazingx 16-17, F Jul 22

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    So I know I should always love my dad and be grateful for everything he's given me, but I really cannot stand him most of the time!! He pays for everything for me and my mom always...
    sindianau sindianau 18-21, F Jul 23

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    Alive or just breathing. This is what i am feeling now. I can't believe how easily we fell for each other but now we're drifting apart. I can't let go of you, i know. But it seems...
    youaresoinsensitive youaresoinsensitive 31-35, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    My mom says I'm "too nice" to people. She thinks I help people often more than they help me. I think she fears I'm being used or played. But I just can't stand to see anyone in...
    Skywalker1979 Skywalker1979 31-35, M 1 Response 5 hrs ago

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    I love this site! I knew in theory that there were people with my problem, but had never met any of them. Like others here, I don't know what is wrong with me. I do my best, but...
    chazman48 chazman48 46-50, M 1 Response Jul 12

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    Hi my name is bashayr and I'm from Saudi Arabia and I want to apologize a head because of my bad English , here is my story my country is ok I mean you don't have to worry about...
    BesH404 BesH404 18-21 7 hrs ago

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    I am dating a recovering heroin/pill addict. I have only known him a little over a year, and I knew about his addiction upfront, however I didn't know to what extent, I am the...
    secretdestiny secretdestiny 18-21, F Jul 11

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    This hole thing involving my girlfriend bring grounded tell September Is tearing me inside out I can't this feeling anymore and I constantly catch myself sending her things like...
    ECrierie ECrierie 16-17, M 1 Response Jul 17

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    It's already August now~ I can't believe how fast the time goes~jeez~ and feel over speeding~
    kentlim00 kentlim00 13-15, M 11 hrs ago

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    I dated a girl all throughout high school. We started dating Freshman year (her sophomore year) and we dated up until she went off to college. I left her after she had been at...
    whoknows2014 whoknows2014 22-25, M Jul 23

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    Eh, I for one do censor my thoughts because something in me is self-conscious towards myself...but it's strange, and rather pathetic that I feel so-- my thoughts are probably...
    Ewoo Ewoo 16-17 4 days ago

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    The most horrible feeling ever! You have those nights where you got so much things on your mind and as soon as you put your head on the pillow the thoughts keep swimming around...
    MilweePetite MilweePetite 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 9

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    I went into work early this morning because I never went to sleep last night. I was sick of laying there....and being busy is what I do best these days. Now I'm exhausted and...
    Triscuitan Triscuitan 26-30, M 1 Response Jul 9

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    Before telling you my story, I wanna ask you something... Is there someone who you just can't get over? Someone who's broken your heart and you just can't mend it? 3 years ago I...
    vinylvanilla vinylvanilla 26-30, F 2 Responses Jul 15

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    If you believe in God, or nothing or some other deity, I feel like it's a cruel piece in our genetic make up for us to seek companionship. It's something we have no control over...
    tonib123 tonib123 16-17, F 4 Responses Jul 3

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    **okay so I'm off topic a bit but** Let me be and I will let you be. My experience s of some religion people makes me understand why some people are atheist, and why some people...
    Quanitta Quanitta 26-30, F 2 Responses Jul 12

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    Maybe it's the anxiety disorder, but i flip out over everything. I have crazy thoughts and process every possible or impossible way of things going terribly wrong at every moment...
    chemically99 chemically99 13-15, F Jul 13

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    In restaurants, grocery lanes, supermarkets, malls, in the bus, train or anywhere, my mind don't stop thinking while my eyes roam around.Delicious gourmet, hot picks, admirable...
    0nOpalsMind 0nOpalsMind 41-45, F 6 Responses Jul 21

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    Am I ready to let go of something I can't have???? I just want to cry!!!!! Can I accept the realization of him having another interest? I may have myself up for another heartbreak...
    ExecutiveAsst ExecutiveAsst 46-50, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    life is way too short to sweat the insignificant bullshit. let it go already. if you have a major problem, then deal with it gradually. take steps to overcome it. that is what...
    mierdamundo mierdamundo 31-35 Jul 18

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    My mom never let's me go anywhere with my friends. I'm going away to camp soon and my friends were throwing me a huge party and she wouldn't let me go. And then I haven't been out...
    daniellelarson22 daniellelarson22 13-15, F Jul 19

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