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I Can't Let Go of the Past

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 387 People

    Bad Dreams

    We woke up at 3:30 am. Her diving coach came in and gave her a pep talk for the meet in a few hours and thanked me for being supportive.  I told her she isn't to see him any more.  She doesn't like that and we get into a huge fight and she leaves.  Gone.  And I'm left...
    TheChaos TheChaos 36-40, M Sep 18, 2013

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    A Decade and Counting

      What are you looking for? Like countless others, all I seek is a molecule shaking love that redefines everything. Simple, right? (I kid.) Unfortunately or fortunately, depending upon the song heard or poet read, I have been there, once.  And that memory...
    FingerRiot FingerRiot 36-40, M 1 Response Aug 26, 2009

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    andreaespe andreaespe 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 19

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    My Little Girl...

    I had a dream last night that I gave birth. I didn't know I was pregnant. She was premature and abnormally small, but was perfectly healthy. I named her Starburst, and she was the most beautiful baby I've ever seen. She grew very quickly, but was happy, and loved me. At first I...
    imgettingthere imgettingthere 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 7, 2011

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    I experienced a school tragedy at the age of 9.

    I watched my family fall apart from my Dad's drinking and my Mother's Bipolar. I feel like I have mental illness like her. I'm a repeating record on my issues so no one wants to hear them from me anymore. I can't afford to go to the doctor so I'm stuck with these thoughts in my...
    ChelsEli ChelsEli 22-25, F 1 Response May 27

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    I Feel Like It Follows And Will Never Go Away :(

    Well all i can say is i hope these messages to her change this but i have to say i have a hard time letting go of someone i was with for 15 months engaged the whole nine yards everything looked great till it crumbled. my life came to a rather abrupt halt when she not only broke...
    C11H26NO2PS C11H26NO2PS 18-21, M Mar 6, 2010

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    I Feel Like I'm Dying Inside I Feel Like I'm Dying Inside

    I don't want to get in to the marriage that's in the past, But I have children with this man so I am forever bound to him, About a month ago I was concerned about affording back to school clothing so I called their Father to ask for some financial help and that's where I messed...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Sep 14, 2013

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    It's 1 hour before midnight

    and I'm lying in the dark on a bed that I share with my current boyfriend, crying and missing the guy who left me to go on exchange last year. I didn't love him. I don't. But what we had was sweet and when times are hard, like now, it seems sweeter and it makes me miss him more...
    ashcrnd ashcrnd 22-25, F Jul 5

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    Can't Let Any Memory Go

    I'm 21 .. And I relive memories in my head almost every day , there not bad memories just every memory I can think of , it's hard to explain, it's like I get very down and depressed when I relive them in my head , like I feel only I have them and I am stuck in the past in my head...
    Chris3470 Chris3470 18-21 1 Response Jan 23, 2013

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    It Always Comes Back

    I remember nearly all of the little tiny mistakes that I have made, and almost all the things that bullies used to do to me. Silly stupid things such as showing to much vulnerability at one point, a bully pushing me down, or being too bossy at one point. My memory just mocks me...
    Katryan Katryan 18-21, F Jun 10, 2013

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    Lies

    I used to lie to people and myself about what happened to me because of the shamess, guilt and fears. Even though I pretended that everything was going okay and that I was feeling normal, deep down I was aware that I lived and made people live in lies. It took me a very long time...
    SomewhereTomorrow SomewhereTomorrow 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 4, 2012

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    The Monsters In the Rear View Mirror

    I am plagued by memories I wish I could forget.  Stupid choices going back to childhood, and painful events in my past that still affect how I feel about myself and those around me.  Sometimes I wish I could get amnesia, and forget everything.  I can remember...
    rustyhalo rustyhalo 41-45 3 Responses Jun 8, 2009

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    My Life Is Stuck

    it's almost 3am and again i can't sleep i think too much, and it especially seems to hit me when i go to bed, even if i have thought i was tired i spend a lot of time thinking/dwelling on my past and therefore it is still affecting my life, even though i should have moved on long...
    fremantle fremantle 36-40, F 6 Responses Mar 18, 2011

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    I'm one of those people

    who strongly believe that if they want something hard enough, they can get it. However, at the same time I realize I'm not like that at all. Sometimes, in small things - sure. But I find myself still thinking about the same guy every day for the 6th year now and regretting the...
    LadyCinephile LadyCinephile 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 18

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    It Might Sound Stupid To You....

    I'm 13 years old. I don't think I was ever "in love", I'm not that neive. But, I have had someone in my life that I truely cared about with everything in me. Thats a fact. I went out with this boy(lets call him Jim) in 6th grade. It wasn't this stupid "I like you." "I like...
    Whocares1214 Whocares1214 13-15, F May 3, 2010

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    My Past Haunts Me

    I find it hard to really close the door on the child abuse I went through - I know I obsess over it...people try to help with bullying and that is not the answer for me. A radio friend told me there is nothing wrong with re-inventing yourself... well I wish I could and maybe I...
    czaristacrystals czaristacrystals 36-40, F 2 Responses Jun 11, 2011

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    Okay so I have been friends with this girl

    for like 6 years. Last week we slept together and I'm not sure if it meant anything we were both quite drunk but it really felt special to me I really want her again and I have no idea how to tell her and the experience just keeps going around in my head I don't know what to do...
    lozsoz1 lozsoz1 18-21, F Jul 5

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    Still Causing Pain

    I'm trying very hard not to let the abuse I suffer at the hands of my ex-boyfriend define who I am NOW, but it would also be wrong of me to say it does not. I don't know where I was or even what I did to invite him to start stocking me... I'm trying to grow and change so why can...
    CMA1234 CMA1234 46-50, F Jan 10, 2013

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    Kimbra's "withdraw" Says It All..

    no matter how important it was or how long ago it happened, i can't let go of ANYTHING that happened in the past. contasntly replaying memories and reliving them as if they're happening again and again. sometimes, even responding to them out loud, either repeating what i said or...
    matiswest matiswest 18-21, M 1 Response Nov 18, 2012

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    It will always be a part of me

    and I'll always love him, whether it's the way I'm suppose to or not. He's always going to be a part of my life and I am trying to let go of everything but it's just too had to.
    Raiders17 Raiders17 18-21, F Jun 17

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    I Can't Let Go.

    About a year ago, a guy started talking to me and then a few months later, my best friend as well. We didn't really think much of it until we realized we both had feelings for him. I'd liked him to begin with (she knew that) but it wasn't long before he decided I wasn't good...
    Nicoletaylor12 Nicoletaylor12 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 28, 2012

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    It Is Like Yesterday

    I seldom looked back during my working life -- I was too busy. Now I am semiretired and have more time and my memories are like yesterday. I remember evrything about my wife and our going out together , to her dismay. She had things to hide but I remember them well. I...
    anthony2001 anthony2001 61-65, M Mar 28, 2012

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    Something That Was Never Meant to Be...

    okay, i usually don't do this sort of thing. Here it goes. When i was younger(alot younger) i fell madly in love with a man that was older(alot older) than myself. It was heaven while it lasted and i've never felt that way with anyone else, even after twelve years. Anyways, here...
    gingy gingy 26-30 4 Responses Jul 3, 2008

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    Poem Of Not Letting Go........

    I can't let go of the past, I still can't believe I let you drive away, I can't believe you slipped through my fingers. I should have ran after you, I should have said sorry, but I was too proud, now I'm all alone, you're back in town. You still have that sweetness in your eyes...
    mysteryteen mysteryteen 16-17, F Aug 29, 2011

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    The summer i'll NEVER forget

    I wish i could re-live when i was between the ages of 17 and 18 years old because i had the greatest life in my opinion. When i was 17 years old it was the end of February when i met my then 28 year old boyfriend. I was turning 18 the month after so we just talked until then and...
    gardengirl17 gardengirl17 22-25, F Jan 11, 2012

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    Though I Desperately Need To..

    Its probably my biggest obstacle. I don't know why I punish myself so much for the stupidest little things that happened so long ago. I still hang on to comments that were said to me when I was a small child. But most prevalent of them all, is the fact that I can't ever stand up...
    NatureGirl23 NatureGirl23 22-25, F 2 Responses Jul 23, 2008

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    Looks Like Another Long Night

    So, it's been a while since I've been on here. I took a sabbatical to clear my mind...even started doing better. My new found peace was rather short lived as I had a letter from someone I loved dearly a long time ago waiting for me. I wish I would've had the strength to leave...
    johnsb78 johnsb78 31-35, M May 28, 2013

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    I'm Trying

    I want the past to be the past. I want it to stay where it is. I want it not to matter.
    Ragelovelumos Ragelovelumos 18-21, F Oct 23, 2012

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    The Universe

    Points us in the directions we can go.. we decide what paths we take.. why does mine keep going back.. without the past experiences I wouldn't be who I am today... and I can embrace the mistakes and the good times too.. but the one thing I cannot do is get myself out of the...
    ticktockgoestheclock ticktockgoestheclock 26-30, F Jul 2, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    I can't stop thinking about how all of my friends recently unfriended me...I can't get over it. They just all stopped being my friends and they can't give me a reason. I feel alone...
    Harrehsbabe Harrehsbabe 18-21, F 2 days ago

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    how can i move on ? how to deal the pain of losing someone you actually never had? i can't let go but i have to...
    hannagrace hannagrace 31-35, F 5 Responses Sep 1

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    I have often thought about the meaning of life, and have not really found any. First, let me apologize for any seemingly-snobbish moments, my intention is to reach out to...
    puppychair123 puppychair123 18-21, M 6 days ago

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    You know what really bothers me, and my husband reminds of this periodically, is that I am showing my kids how they should treat me when they get older by the way I engage with and...
    nkmnovember nkmnovember 36-40 Sep 1

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    The past week I have had little or no sleep !!! At first I would get possibly 6 hours but past three nights only sleeping between 3-4 hours ! I feel so exhausted and worn out but I...
    Nutcase38 Nutcase38 36-40, F 1 Response Aug 26

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    I'm writing this because I am stuck in a situation I can't discuss with my wife or friends, nor the woman I have fallen back in love with. I just need to get this off my chest as...
    Tryingtobefriends Tryingtobefriends 41-45, M 11 Responses Sep 3

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    I can't wait to move out, be independent, have more freedom, and not be forced to interact with my so-called family.
    rumblingheart rumblingheart 16-17, F 1 Response 6 hrs ago

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    I beat myself up everyday thinking about how bad cigarettes are and what they're doing to my body and how much money i put into it. But i can't slow down even a little
    williamM92 williamM92 18-21, M 2 Responses 5 hrs ago

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    No matter who it is I can never make a significant connection with them. My father, and mother both care for me I can tell, and I respect them but to be perfectly honest I feel as...
    aimlessglitch aimlessglitch 18-21, M Sep 2

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    I have fallen in love with this person who has so completely melted my heart it isn't even funny. I am not a romantic or mushy person by nature, but this man brings out the best in...
    Oldiesbutgoldies Oldiesbutgoldies 16-17, F Aug 25

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    I can't believe it's now a full year I haven't seen you. Heard your voice held your hand as we would walk along the Atlantic City boardwalk. Look into your deep brown eyes and see...
    Beanbella Beanbella 31-35, F 3 Responses Aug 29

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    I can't sleep properly For the past few months I can't sleep well. Even if I'm really tired, I only have a few hours sleep (about 4-5) and constantly keep waking. I wake up tired...
    1lonelydaisy 1lonelydaisy 70+, F Sep 4

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    I can't believed he is Gone... I felt its like a nightmare to think I cannot talk to him anymore and I cannot see him again the only left to me was his memories He is Gone now... I...
    modelrose modelrose 22-25, F 4 Responses Sep 10

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    Over the past few days I've been feeling a little bit angry. Maybe this is a good thing? Maybe it's a sign that I'm finally climbing out of the quick sand I've been stuck in for...
    Inlovebutmarried Inlovebutmarried 41-45, F 1 Response Sep 12

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    It really sucks because I have a very very big butt but skinny waist and short legs. Stores seem to think the skinnier your waist the longer your legs are. Or the waist will be...
    Thatonegirl53 Thatonegirl53 18-21, F 5 days ago

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    just thinking about this puts so much anger back into my soul.... you're going to think I'm the biggest idiot after reading this,but here goes.... I was fifteen years old. He was...
    jaycer jaycer 18-21, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    Lately I have been depressed. These past 5months have been my breaking point. I can't seem to get out of it. The only relief I get is from cutting. I can't stop crying. I don't...
    Summernicolezink Summernicolezink 16-17, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    Tell me why I overheard a conversation today about this girl wanting to talk to this guy knowing damn well he has a boyfriend? That just made me mad. Plus, the fact that you can...
    KenKitty KenKitty 16-17, F Sep 2

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    Sometimes i wonder if my ex have cast a curse on me, probably not voluntary but I remember so clearly when i broke up With her... Her saying to me that I will never find someone...
    theonesbeforeme theonesbeforeme 26-30 1 Response Sep 2

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    I can't see your face in my head. ..I can't remember you in a dream. . I've erased every file. ..I've burnt every letter......I've don't remember your words or hear your voice If...
    toehold toehold 26-30, M Sep 14

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    Lying here eyes fluttering and hanging on to the way last week played, feeling sad still and desperately wanting to let go... In this moment Heart filling full of how many tears I...
    Xenasdreams Xenasdreams 22-25, F 1 Response Sep 15

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