Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Cant Stop Thinking About My Rape

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,233 People

    I'm considering reporting a rape

    that happened a few years ago to the police, and I would like to know before I do what is going to happen. If you have any experience with something like this or have known someone who did, please tell me how it all works. How will the police treat me? What will they want to...
    ThatTattooedGirl ThatTattooedGirl 18-21, F 5 Responses Nov 13, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Am Strong.

    Hello, I am a 15 year old girl and i would like to share my painful experience with people who truly understand. I was in my room, voice chatting with a close friend of my for a very long time. My window was open, and it was dark. My parents were out of town, taking my younger...
    shjfstjoxsropvdsru shjfstjoxsropvdsru 13-15, F 26 Responses Jul 6, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The police didnt believe me.

    Neither did my parents. The only people who know are my 2 best friends, my brothers and my parents and police but they think I cried wolf. When I was in grade 7 I started hanging out with some grade 8's who go invited to high school parties. I got my drink drugged and woke up...
    QuinnMac12 QuinnMac12 13-15, F 4 Responses Aug 22, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    When I was 5 my moms brother came to me

    and asked me to come to his room he was 15 at the time. I didn't know better so when he started to rape me I never said anything it ended when I was 8 and I moved away. I finally told my family about it when I was 15. They didn't talk to me for six months. I am 18 now and I...
    Haleyisme Haleyisme 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 6, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Right Thing- Doesn't Mean Your Weak

    I told my story "the story of how" but I believe it's time I tell about the second time, the time the will always haunt me. Not long after Aaron and Charlie raped me, Charlie said sorry and I forgave him. Just a short while later, I was walking, just out for a walk, when Aaron...
    oOoAllieoOo oOoAllieoOo 18-21, F 9 Responses Dec 14, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My Rape As A Kid

    Everything was fine that nice April day. I started dating my ex again, I had a nice dinner with my family, I learned how to do a cartwheel. I was 12 years old that day when my cousin age 23 took me to the store on the way home he gave me a cigarette. I asked for a drink so I...
    MissJuliet MissJuliet 16-17, F 8 Responses Jul 21, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My dad raped me last week.

    He was drunk and claimed that he had the right to anything he wanted. Then, all I can remember is extreme pain and waking in a hospital a few hours later. I have flashbacks every day after that, re-experience the pain again and again. I cannot sleep well these days, since I...
    ElsaBlack ElsaBlack 13-15, F 2 Responses Oct 4, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Online Relationship Anxiety II: The Update Hi

    everyone at EP. I hadn't been in Experience Project overly a year and there's a lot to talk about. But first...I want to talk about this girl that's been affecting my life the most and who's very important in my life. If you read my Online Relationship Anxiety, which is in I...
    Gonzobdd Gonzobdd 18-21, M Dec 28, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Was Gang Raped.

    I went out with my first girlfriend in the Spring of 2011 (the end of my college freshmen year) One day, she invited me over to her house for a couple movies, & she wrapped her arms around me & kept whispering in my ear & it just felt so right, I decided to give in. So, we...
    ilovecherries92 ilovecherries92 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 18, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Was Gang-raped!

    I went out with my first girlfriend in the Spring of 2011 (the end of my college freshmen year) One day, she invited me over to her house for a couple movies, & she wrapped her arms around me & kept whispering in my ear & it just felt so right, I decided to give in. So, we...
    ilovecherries92 ilovecherries92 18-21, F 20 Responses Dec 18, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I keep replaying what happened in my mind.

    I really just want to forget about it. It affected me more than people know. It happened recently. And I just feel so gross. I told my mom two days after it happened and she makes me feel like it's my fault and makes me wish I didn't tell her. She keeps say "why didn't you...
    Robin1226 Robin1226 18-21, F 6 Responses Jan 7

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Stop Telling Me How Easy It Is...

    People think that it is so easy to just report a rape, to tell your family or other people, and last but not least, to just forget and move on. Let me tell you a little something about that.. When a person rapes you, they slowly kill your soul I wasn't beaten or anything the...
    NotAllScarsCanBeSeen NotAllScarsCanBeSeen 18-21, F 20 Responses Jan 25, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    it's hard to not think about your rape everyday

    when some people don't always understand that traumatizes you for the rest of your life. for those who got a disease or pregnant for being raped I know how you feel I was with a abusive man for two years to scared to leave cause every time I tried he'd find me anyway possible...
    mandyvargas18 mandyvargas18 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 5

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I feel like no one wants me

    because of my rape. I mean what guy wants a girl whos been raped? None. I feel like I'm just a sex object, not even a person anymore. Who wants a girl who let her uncle do that to her? Will I ever be comfortable with a guy? Becuase of what happened I can never trust guys and I...
    musicismysalvation musicismysalvation 16-17, F 11 Responses Mar 17, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    it happened 5 years ago

    and I still can't forget it
    dorabergen dorabergen 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 8

    Your Response

    Cancel

    After that night, I ran a lot to keep my mind

    off of it. One day I went for a run and there was a man walking maybe 100 feet behind me. I had the worst feeling of terror go through my body. I started to pick up my pace and I was so incredibly scared that he would catch up to me and hurt me. But then he turned into a house...
    jessicaellise jessicaellise 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 7, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I was around 14 years old

    when it happened. I had just recently started meeting up with an 'emo' looking guy, he was 19 and I was 14, but that's not important. In this story I'll call my (then) boyfriend Jake and his best friend Ryan. Jake, Jakes brother and Ryan were all at Jakes house drinking...
    Laurajane94 Laurajane94 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 29

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It's been a couple of years

    and I still think of it. Not because I want to but because I keep having nightmares and I started going out with guy and I thought no problem because I would be over what happened to me but when he tried to get close to me like just a little kiss or hug me or hold hands with me...
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 26, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Dont Trust Men

    It all started when I was 7. I was molested it continued till I was 13 thats when he raped me. I had the courage to tell a teacher at school. They called health and human services. They just let him go cause it was close to him being 18. Because of him I still cant trust men.
    vgambler vgambler 26-30, F 3 Responses Sep 14, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I have already posted my experiences in this

    category, but that was nearly two years ago. Two. Years. Ago. And it's still bothering me, or I wouldn't be here. Having met with a therapist a few times over the last year, and having had a boyfriend (previous) who was very understanding (the first person I opened up to about...
    quirkygirl520 quirkygirl520 22-25, F 2 Responses Feb 9

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Holiday From Hell

    When I was 15 I went on a long family holiday, whilst on holiday I got a lot of unwanted attention from guys. Before this holiday I was dating a guy that I'd been with for a few years. I had lost my virginity to him a few months before my rape. He was my first for everything...
    JAP93 JAP93 18-21, F 6 Responses Jan 11, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Am...

    I cannot move, I cannot see, I cannot speak, But I hear, I feel, I feel the dirt burry my bones Each grain filling all the crevasses All the fractures, All the breaks, All the cuts, New and old I hear the footsteps of the man above, Pacing back and forth, His breath...
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses May 10, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It's been a couple of years

    and I still think of it. Not because I want to but because I keep having nightmares and I started going out with guy and I thought no problem because I would be over what happened to me but when he tried to get close to me like just a little kiss or hug me or hold hands with me...
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F 5 Responses Nov 26, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    well.. it's more the nightmares.

    .. i'll often wake up in the middle of the night in a bit of a panic.. realizing I'm ok, and safe in my room.
    hayliepartychick hayliepartychick 18-21, F 3 Responses Jan 8, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Why Is He Still Out There??

    I was nearly 16 when I was raped Im nearly 21 now and that nasty man is still out there. My Mom knew him years ago when she was smaller, she was out one night with herfriend when they bumped into each other they hadnt seen each other in about 20 years. So they kept in touch then...
    freedz21 freedz21 18-21, F 7 Responses Nov 2, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I am 15 years old and

    when I was 13 my step dad raped me and it still going on. i didn't know what to do I cried, begged him to stop but he just wouldn't stop! I told my mum but she just called me a liar. It's all my fault I could of stopped him but I didn't everything is my fault.
    Arabellathebeautiful Arabellathebeautiful 13-15, F 3 Responses Jan 25

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I was raped twice in one month,

    both by guys I considered friends and never would have thought would do it. I guess it wasn't technically rape, but i said no to both of them multiple times. At first it wasn't as serious, but then I started to get more serious about it. Until I finally just gave in. I'm a small...
    fieldofwings fieldofwings 18-21, F 5 Responses Dec 15, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My stories are not why Im here Im here

    because I know what its like to have no one believe you to be abandoned when you need someone the most the pain the shame and the fear the constant looking over your shoulder I want to help you to listen and be there the way I needed someone to be there for me after those...
    Kitten2514 Kitten2514 22-25, F 3 Responses Aug 31, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    What Happened In Brither'S Room

    Ok so I'm new to this so please bare with me. I'll try not to make this so long, hmm so I guess I'll start from the first incident.  When I was about I don't know maybe 8 or 9, I was upset at something I don't remember what it was; but I went into my parent's bedroom and locked...
    deleted deleted 26-30 7 Responses Jun 11, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Didn't Think It'd Ever Happen To Me.

    I was 15, I had only turned 15 a week before when it happened. It was Christmas Eve, about 2 in the morning. The unthinkable had happened to me. Something I thought would have never happened to me. About two or three weeks earlier, I got up at around 6am to get ready for school...
    ConfidentialGirl ConfidentialGirl 18-21, F 5 Responses Jan 21, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The second time I was raped was

    when I was 12. I was at my kind of boyfriends house we were hanging out watching a movie like we did on most week ends. It was August 15th 2009. One minute we were watching a movie and the next minute he was on top of me and we were making out. He started touching me down there...
    Teenmommy16 Teenmommy16 18-21, F 5 Responses Dec 17, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    People keep wanting to help me with my rape.

    But how can they help me when I can't even understand what happened! I have so many questions but no answers.
    ThatTattooedGirl ThatTattooedGirl 18-21, F 8 Responses Dec 14, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Okay, I'm just going to put it all out there

    and say it. I was raped when I was 12 years old by my step father. My parent's divorced when I was like seven and It affected me in some ways. Like I've said before I'm a big brat and I've always been that way, so I made it really hard on my mom whenever I couldn't see my dad...
    ChildOfHarmony ChildOfHarmony 16-17, F 4 Responses Dec 26, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Shards of porcelain imbedded in my skin I'm

    your porcelain doll Maybe Im just as fragile Hold me tight but don't break me I am yours Please forgive me I didn't mean to love It just happened Push me, throw me You shattered me All that's left is broken glass You'll never clean up the mess That's why I'm laying here in bed...
    ridme ridme 22-25, F 8 Responses Feb 7, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It's like every detail keeps replaying in my

    head . Why can't I just let it go? It's been 2 years and still today seeing your face would kill me . I want to hurt you . Physically . Emotionally . I want to scar you for the rest of your life and let you lay awake thinking about me for no reason . I haven't thought about you...
    Alylovespuppies Alylovespuppies 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 8

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I have been raped 5 times.

    I have never had sex with my permission before. Almost got raped by a group of guys. But someone saved me. Been forced to do many things in my life....
    jgelbz jgelbz 16-17, F 7 Responses Jan 29, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I was brutally raped several months ago by a

    multitude of males and now I am carrying someone's twin sons. I just cannot bring myself to having an abortion. I have decided to let a childless interracial couple adopt my sons. I have nightmares several times a week. Also, I cry quite frequently on weekends. I am going...
    olderandpregnantfemale olderandpregnantfemale 41-45, F 16 Responses Jan 30, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    When I was 7, I met a boy more

    than twice my age at the time. He pretended like he was my friend. He was my only friend. One day he took me for a walk in a park. There is very wooded area behind it that I always used to play in. We got fairly far out when we met up with a group of 5 more boys. his friends. I...
    FakingTheFlowers FakingTheFlowers 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 8, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I was ill,Mentally and

    even though I was 20 because of my mental state I wasn't able to go on nights out so I snuck out and went to a busy bar on my own, it was fine until it finished and I got paranoid walking down a quiet road and started seeing things and so this guy approached me and we chatted,I...
    lyndsay22 lyndsay22 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 16

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Maybe one day I will think about it

    and I will not feel bad...there will be no feelings of hate..bitterness...self loathing....maybe one day I will share my experience from an overcomes point of view
    CurvyandChic CurvyandChic 22-25, F 2 Responses Sep 22, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    tonight is really bad.

    I feel alone. scared. suicidal. I want to die. I just want someone to talk to who understands. I don't like to bother people but I feel like everyone that I had has left me.
    GodsArte GodsArte 18-21, F 7 Responses Jan 31

    Your Response

    Cancel

    What Happened In Brother'S Room

    Ok so I'm new to this so please bare with me. I'll try not to make this so long, hmm so I guess I'll start from the first incident.  When I was about I don't know maybe 8 or 9, I was upset at something I don't remember what it was; but I went into my parent's bedroom and locked...
    deleted deleted 26-30 9 Responses Jun 11, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Please. ... I'm sorry.

    . Please, leave her, she won't tell another. but the monster's still after her! few conquering moments later... With tiny arms above her head, bruised from being dragged on the hard floor covered with carpet, The monster towered above her. he let himself into her innocence...
    sexijai sexijai 22-25, F 1 Response Feb 8

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Has anyone been raped/molested by a parent?

    Every time I see him I feel sick. I'm so uncomfortable around him. I can't & won't tell anyone in my family. They don't even know they did it, they were too drunk. Why do other girls get nice families? Why do other girls get to go through life and trust their fathers, why does...
    kbeary kbeary 18-21, F 5 Responses Sep 16, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    anyone had muscle sorenes like in their back

    or leg the day after? idk if it from the rape
    darkdecember93 darkdecember93 18-21, F 6 Responses Jan 27

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Why Me?

    Ok this is the fourth time in less than a year. I'm sick of this! Me and my boyfriend were goofing off you know having fun. We were in his room. Oops! He knew about my past already. I thought he would never do something like this to me. I was wrong. Of course. So we just...
    Crazylover15 Crazylover15 18-21, F 10 Responses May 15, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm trying hard to understand what you did to

    me. I know what you have told me, I know what others have told me, what I don't understand is why. why? Why did you take something so precious from me, something that was mine to give away, not for you to take. I hate you with everything I am, I despise you, you disgust me, you...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Mar 26, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm not really ready to talk about what

    happened to me. It happened 13 years ago. I tried to kill myself 2 1/2 years later. Since then I've buried it. I thought I was over it but I never really told anyone what happened. I recently got overwhelmed and I told someone the whole story. They have been supporting me for...
    noonespecial44 noonespecial44 26-30, F 3 Responses Jan 17

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I've been raped 3 times,

    and have had struggles with myself and people I meet. Getting close with anyone is really tough to fight with. These demons I face constantly, are always apart of who I am mentally and physically.
    kbsmash12 kbsmash12 22-25, F 1 Response Jan 23

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Hate Him For What He Did

    when i was younger  I was the Girl who got made fun of so when the oppertunity arised to go out with someone i took it. my friend got my talking to this guy he seemed normal on the phone like he cared, he was my friends friend how bad could he be! one night in december i decided...
    blueeyedangel25 blueeyedangel25 22-25, F 9 Responses Aug 31, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Last night was bad...

    I have had dreams about it before and dreams about home before but none as bad as this. I'm so scared he's going to get me back now, I don't feel safe anywhere.
    lostgirl2001 lostgirl2001 13-15, F Jan 14

    Your Response

    Cancel