Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Cant Stop Thinking About My Rape

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,302 People

    i know it was my fault.

    .ive always known. i just didnt want to believe it.
    anonymous138 anonymous138 16-17, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Am Strong.

    Hello, I am a 15 year old girl and i would like to share my painful experience with people who truly understand. I was in my room, voice chatting with a close friend of my for a very long time. My window was open, and it was dark. My parents were out of town, taking my younger...
    shjfstjoxsropvdsru shjfstjoxsropvdsru 13-15, F 26 Responses Jul 6, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    This isn't common but I actually enjoyed my

    rape changed my life ever since then I've always played in my booty I feel my heart beat in the hole that's when I know it's hungry for more ;)
    Horseofdiffcolor Horseofdiffcolor 22-25, T 3 Responses Mar 10

    Your Response

    Cancel

    please someone help me from leaving this

    nightmare o don't know what else to do I have tried therapy, hipnosis, pills, exercise and nothing has worked to forget all this please I'm desperate I NEED HELP!!
    scarlet1413 scarlet1413 18-21, F 7 Responses Mar 6

    Your Response

    Cancel

    He's Everywhere.

    My stepfather is everywhere. Ever since he was convicted of what he did to me a year ago, I can't get him out of my mind. He pleaded guilty and gave a sorry excuse of an apology, but he sure wasnt sorry when he was doing it. I feel even worse when I think about the fact that my...
    deleted deleted 26-30 12 Responses Sep 6, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I was drunk, so was he.

    But he was also 8 years older, and much more sober than me. He knew what he was doing. He was my sister's best friend, and when I told her, she called me a liar.
    galaxyle galaxyle 18-21, F 4 Responses Feb 28

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It's been a couple of years

    and I still think of it. Not because I want to but because I keep having nightmares and I started going out with guy and I thought no problem because I would be over what happened to me but when he tried to get close to me like just a little kiss or hug me or hold hands with me...
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F 5 Responses Nov 26, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Holiday From Hell

    When I was 15 I went on a long family holiday, whilst on holiday I got a lot of unwanted attention from guys. Before this holiday I was dating a guy that I'd been with for a few years. I had lost my virginity to him a few months before my rape. He was my first for everything...
    JAP93 JAP93 18-21, F 6 Responses Jan 11, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Apr 24

    Your Response

    Cancel
    SpideyAlyx SpideyAlyx 13-15, M 3 Responses Apr 22

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Why Is He Still Out There??

    I was nearly 16 when I was raped Im nearly 21 now and that nasty man is still out there. My Mom knew him years ago when she was smaller, she was out one night with herfriend when they bumped into each other they hadnt seen each other in about 20 years. So they kept in touch then...
    freedz21 freedz21 18-21, F 8 Responses Nov 2, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I have already posted my experiences in this

    category, but that was nearly two years ago. Two. Years. Ago. And it's still bothering me, or I wouldn't be here. Having met with a therapist a few times over the last year, and having had a boyfriend (previous) who was very understanding (the first person I opened up to about...
    quirkygirl520 quirkygirl520 22-25, F 2 Responses Feb 9

    Your Response

    Cancel

    What Happened In Brither'S Room

    Ok so I'm new to this so please bare with me. I'll try not to make this so long, hmm so I guess I'll start from the first incident.  When I was about I don't know maybe 8 or 9, I was upset at something I don't remember what it was; but I went into my parent's bedroom and locked...
    deleted deleted 26-30 7 Responses Jun 11, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Lately I've been thinking about a specific

    person who attempted to have sex with me. I was maybe 12 or 13 and he was 2 years older than I was. I remember not saying no, but knowing that it wasn't right and that I didn't want it. He knew I didn't want it. He tried to insert himself into me and it didn't work, I was too...
    GodsArte GodsArte 18-21, F 3 Responses 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I was raped twice in one month,

    both by guys I considered friends and never would have thought would do it. I guess it wasn't technically rape, but i said no to both of them multiple times. At first it wasn't as serious, but then I started to get more serious about it. Until I finally just gave in. I'm a small...
    fieldofwings fieldofwings 18-21, F 6 Responses Dec 15, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    What Happened In Brother'S Room

    Ok so I'm new to this so please bare with me. I'll try not to make this so long, hmm so I guess I'll start from the first incident.  When I was about I don't know maybe 8 or 9, I was upset at something I don't remember what it was; but I went into my parent's bedroom and locked...
    deleted deleted 26-30 9 Responses Jun 11, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Nasha17 Nasha17 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 22

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Today is one of those days.

    A snow where I did absolutely nothing but think. Sometimes I don't even know whether or not I can consider certain things that happened rape. I just am out of it today. I ate way too much, wasted an entire day. Maybe it is my fault that I was raped. I just want to talk about it...
    GodsArte GodsArte 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 5

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I want to forget about what happened to me

    as a child when I was raped but I just can't and need desperate help from someone in a similar situation
    naturallyhappy naturallyhappy 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 15

    Your Response

    Cancel

    How do I tell her that this has happened?

    It's not like I've never told anybody before because I have. I've never said the word rape out loud before and it's still quite painful to type- when I last told somebody, I hinted to it and hoped that they realised what I meant. She already knows that I sometimes make myself...
    hopeandsoul hopeandsoul 16-17, F 2 Responses Mar 28

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Was Gang Raped.

    I went out with my first girlfriend in the Spring of 2011 (the end of my college freshmen year) One day, she invited me over to her house for a couple movies, & she wrapped her arms around me & kept whispering in my ear & it just felt so right, I decided to give in. So, we...
    ilovecherries92 ilovecherries92 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 18, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Please. ... I'm sorry.

    . Please, leave her, she won't tell another. but the monster's still after her! few conquering moments later... With tiny arms above her head, bruised from being dragged on the hard floor covered with carpet, The monster towered above her. he let himself into her innocence...
    sexijai sexijai 22-25, F Feb 8

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I had a panic attack today,

    it's the first one I've had in two months, I thought that I had finally got better and free from the effects. I know I'll get better though :) everyday is another step forward :) I look up to my mum and auntie who where both raped, my mum from her step dad and my auntie by her...
    livelaughlove0987 livelaughlove0987 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 23

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Right Thing- Doesn't Mean Your Weak

    I told my story "the story of how" but I believe it's time I tell about the second time, the time the will always haunt me. Not long after Aaron and Charlie raped me, Charlie said sorry and I forgave him. Just a short while later, I was walking, just out for a walk, when Aaron...
    oOoAllieoOo oOoAllieoOo 18-21, F 9 Responses Dec 14, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    feeling really ****** up.

    .. 4 years ago I was kidnapped and raped by 4 guys. over and over.... its been 4 years and I can't get it off of my mind. every single day I think about that, I just want to get over it and move on but I can't... that happed when I was 19 and living in mexico. I moved away, far...
    paotg paotg 22-25, F 3 Responses 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I feel like no one wants me

    because of my rape. I mean what guy wants a girl whos been raped? None. I feel like I'm just a sex object, not even a person anymore. Who wants a girl who let her uncle do that to her? Will I ever be comfortable with a guy? Becuase of what happened I can never trust guys and I...
    musicismysalvation musicismysalvation 18-21, F 13 Responses Mar 17, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    When I was 7, I met a boy more

    than twice my age at the time. He pretended like he was my friend. He was my only friend. One day he took me for a walk in a park. There is very wooded area behind it that I always used to play in. We got fairly far out when we met up with a group of 5 more boys. his friends. I...
    FakingTheFlowers FakingTheFlowers 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 8, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    i look in the mirror today

    and I said when am I gonna lat go.....when am I gonna be free....my rape was real terrible every time I close my eyes i see it over and over . how I go through it is like a womb that can't be taken care of and my agner rose into flames but it leave a scar. a scar that says I'm a...
    Nasha17 Nasha17 16-17, F Apr 23

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Didn't Think It'd Ever Happen To Me.

    I was 15, I had only turned 15 a week before when it happened. It was Christmas Eve, about 2 in the morning. The unthinkable had happened to me. Something I thought would have never happened to me. About two or three weeks earlier, I got up at around 6am to get ready for school...
    ConfidentialGirl ConfidentialGirl 18-21, F 5 Responses Jan 21, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I was raped a year ago

    and I still can't stop thinking about it. I talk about it a lot more than it should and I definitely feel like it defines me as a person but I can't seem to think about it any other way. I worry I'll never have sex again and that no one will ever want to date with me and deal...
    lozor19 lozor19 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 22

    Your Response

    Cancel

    when i was 7 years old my dad killed himself.

    it took a toll on the whole family, my grandma has never been the same i went into a state were i thought i was gonna die every single thing i did and started to have panic attaks everday. i was very scared all the time and became sucidle myself. my mom thought if i spent a lot...
    SpideyAlyx SpideyAlyx 13-15, M 3 Responses Apr 22

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The second time I was raped was

    when I was 12. I was at my kind of boyfriends house we were hanging out watching a movie like we did on most week ends. It was August 15th 2009. One minute we were watching a movie and the next minute he was on top of me and we were making out. He started touching me down there...
    Teenmommy16 Teenmommy16 18-21, F 5 Responses Dec 17, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Shards of porcelain imbedded in my skin I'm

    your porcelain doll Maybe Im just as fragile Hold me tight but don't break me I am yours Please forgive me I didn't mean to love It just happened Push me, throw me You shattered me All that's left is broken glass You'll never clean up the mess That's why I'm laying here in bed...
    ridme ridme 22-25, F 8 Responses Feb 7, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Am...

    I cannot move, I cannot see, I cannot speak, But I hear, I feel, I feel the dirt burry my bones Each grain filling all the crevasses All the fractures, All the breaks, All the cuts, New and old I hear the footsteps of the man above, Pacing back and forth, His breath...
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses May 10, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm trying hard to understand what you did to

    me. I know what you have told me, I know what others have told me, what I don't understand is why. why? Why did you take something so precious from me, something that was mine to give away, not for you to take. I hate you with everything I am, I despise you, you disgust me, you...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Mar 26, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I have been raped 5 times.

    I have never had sex with my permission before. Almost got raped by a group of guys. But someone saved me. Been forced to do many things in my life....
    jgelbz jgelbz 16-17, F 7 Responses Jan 29, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I keep thinking im over it

    but it always comes up in my mind. Yesterday i saw a picture of my rapist. Its been over a year since ive seen him and its made me worse than i have been in a long time. I feel like it was my fault that it happened in the first place. I feel like i shouldnt be so triggered by it...
    anonymous138 anonymous138 16-17, F 1 Response 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Promise,

    I'm here for you. Cry, scream, rant, rage, feel what you need to feel. I'm here to listen, to share, to help. I truly do care. Let me share your burden for a while. I'm here. ❤️
    storyofyourlife storyofyourlife 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 27, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I hate thinking about it,

    I can never really explain how I feel and I am just not at ease... I hate my down days..
    GodsArte GodsArte 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 25

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I think about it daily.

    It's one of them things that never go away. You can't forget it. You just have to learn to live with it. But I don't know how I can learn to live with it. It's awful. It controls me. It has literally ruined my life!
    ThatTattooedGirl ThatTattooedGirl 18-21, F 7 Responses Mar 25

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I was raped wen I was 11

    and again April 19 2014 but my attacker is now in jail for another crime but I think about it everyday,how he seemed so normal, how he smelled then wen he bragged about it to people on social media like I WANTED it??Makes my stomach turn. Hard to breath and love others
    kaykaycoker kaykaycoker 16-17, F 2 Responses Mar 26

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Was Gang-raped!

    I went out with my first girlfriend in the Spring of 2011 (the end of my college freshmen year) One day, she invited me over to her house for a couple movies, & she wrapped her arms around me & kept whispering in my ear & it just felt so right, I decided to give in. So, we...
    ilovecherries92 ilovecherries92 18-21, F 21 Responses Dec 18, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    *this was a dream* I'm at my grandpas house

    for a few days. (the one who molested me and raped my stepmom) last night I was about to go to bed, I guess I feel asleep but it felt so real. I heard my grandpas and sisters voices(she's here with me) I can't recall 100% what they were saying but I knew it was gonna be bad. my...
    SpideyAlyx SpideyAlyx 13-15, M 2 Responses Mar 23

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Stop Telling Me How Easy It Is...

    People think that it is so easy to just report a rape, to tell your family or other people, and last but not least, to just forget and move on. Let me tell you a little something about that.. When a person rapes you, they slowly kill your soul I wasn't beaten or anything the...
    NotAllScarsCanBeSeen NotAllScarsCanBeSeen 18-21, F 20 Responses Jan 25, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    no matter how hard I try to push the thoughts

    away its always there, nagging me every hour of the day. The worst is when I close my eyes to sleep every detail every sound every voice everything is so vivid and real and just continuously plays over and over. During the day I can at least find something to distract my mind...
    deleted deleted 26-30 9 Responses Dec 14, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    i am going though court

    and it seems to be taking forever but i just keep thinking of all the people i will help by doing this :)
    livelaughlove0987 livelaughlove0987 18-21, F 5 Responses Apr 5

    Your Response

    Cancel