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I Cant Stop Thinking About My Rape

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,327 People

    What Happened In Brother'S Room

    Ok so I'm new to this so please bare with me. I'll try not to make this so long, hmm so I guess I'll start from the first incident.  When I was about I don't know maybe 8 or 9, I was upset at something I don't remember what it was; but I went into my parent's bedroom and locked...
    deleted deleted 26-30 9 Responses Jun 11, 2013

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    it happened again. I just don't understand the

    universe anymore. Sure, everybody gets a bit of tragedy, but I can't take anymore. This time is too much.
    KittyCunt KittyCunt 18-21, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    Thirteen And Silent, Until Now

    When i was 13, i had already a very developed body. Men near by where i live started longing for me and they would try to get my attention whenever they would see me. Eventually a really handsome guy chased me endlesly until i gave in,he was 23, i was 13... he started inviting...
    16 Responses Jan 12, 2013

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    When I was 7, I met a boy more

    than twice my age at the time. He pretended like he was my friend. He was my only friend. One day he took me for a walk in a park. There is very wooded area behind it that I always used to play in. We got fairly far out when we met up with a group of 5 more boys. his friends. I...
    FakingTheFlowers FakingTheFlowers 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 8, 2014

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    I Am...

    I cannot move, I cannot see, I cannot speak, But I hear, I feel, I feel the dirt burry my bones Each grain filling all the crevasses All the fractures, All the breaks, All the cuts, New and old I hear the footsteps of the man above, Pacing back and forth, His breath...
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses May 10, 2011

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    Lately I've been thinking about a specific

    person who attempted to have sex with me. I was maybe 12 or 13 and he was 2 years older than I was. I remember not saying no, but knowing that it wasn't right and that I didn't want it. He knew I didn't want it. He tried to insert himself into me and it didn't work, I was too...
    GodsArte GodsArte 18-21, F 4 Responses Apr 30

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    I finally told my parents

    because my depression has gotten so bad, they said they would help me, but they haven't. I don't even know if they can. But I can't stop thinking about what he did, it's eating away at me.
    HardlyAlice HardlyAlice 18-21, F 3 Responses May 11

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    Today is one of those days.

    A snow where I did absolutely nothing but think. Sometimes I don't even know whether or not I can consider certain things that happened rape. I just am out of it today. I ate way too much, wasted an entire day. Maybe it is my fault that I was raped. I just want to talk about it...
    GodsArte GodsArte 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 5

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    He pleaded not guilty the other day

    which was completely unexpected seems he has already been found guilty for a separate case :/
    livelaughlove0987 livelaughlove0987 18-21, F 27 Responses May 10

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    I have been raped 5 times.

    I have never had sex with my permission before. Almost got raped by a group of guys. But someone saved me. Been forced to do many things in my life....
    jgelbz jgelbz 16-17, F 6 Responses Jan 29, 2014

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    please someone help me from leaving this

    nightmare o don't know what else to do I have tried therapy, hipnosis, pills, exercise and nothing has worked to forget all this please I'm desperate I NEED HELP!!
    scarlet1413 scarlet1413 18-21, F 7 Responses Mar 6

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    I had a panic attack today,

    it's the first one I've had in two months, I thought that I had finally got better and free from the effects. I know I'll get better though :) everyday is another step forward :) I look up to my mum and auntie who where both raped, my mum from her step dad and my auntie by her...
    livelaughlove0987 livelaughlove0987 18-21, F 3 Responses Apr 23

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    5 men raped me and i dunno what to do cause I

    cant stop thinking about them and what happened. My dad thinks its my fault cause i opened the door when I was alone but I didnt know it was bad people and I like swear I didnt want them to do it. Now I feel like a gross freak.
    hollyjollyholly hollyjollyholly 13-15, F 2 Responses 11 hrs ago

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    Stop Telling Me How Easy It Is...

    People think that it is so easy to just report a rape, to tell your family or other people, and last but not least, to just forget and move on. Let me tell you a little something about that.. When a person rapes you, they slowly kill your soul I wasn't beaten or anything the...
    NotAllScarsCanBeSeen NotAllScarsCanBeSeen 18-21, F 20 Responses Jan 25, 2013

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    I Was Gang-raped!

    I went out with my first girlfriend in the Spring of 2011 (the end of my college freshmen year) One day, she invited me over to her house for a couple movies, & she wrapped her arms around me & kept whispering in my ear & it just felt so right, I decided to give in. So, we...
    ilovecherries92 ilovecherries92 18-21, F 22 Responses Dec 18, 2012

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    I Was Gang Raped.

    I went out with my first girlfriend in the Spring of 2011 (the end of my college freshmen year) One day, she invited me over to her house for a couple movies, & she wrapped her arms around me & kept whispering in my ear & it just felt so right, I decided to give in. So, we...
    ilovecherries92 ilovecherries92 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 18, 2012

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    I was raped twice in one month,

    both by guys I considered friends and never would have thought would do it. I guess it wasn't technically rape, but i said no to both of them multiple times. At first it wasn't as serious, but then I started to get more serious about it. Until I finally just gave in. I'm a small...
    fieldofwings fieldofwings 18-21, F 6 Responses Dec 15, 2013

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    I Am Strong.

    Hello, I am a 15 year old girl and i would like to share my painful experience with people who truly understand. I was in my room, voice chatting with a close friend of my for a very long time. My window was open, and it was dark. My parents were out of town, taking my younger...
    shjfstjoxsropvdsru shjfstjoxsropvdsru 13-15, F 26 Responses Jul 6, 2012

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    feeling really ****** up.

    .. 4 years ago I was kidnapped and raped by 4 guys. over and over.... its been 4 years and I can't get it off of my mind. every single day I think about that, I just want to get over it and move on but I can't... that happed when I was 19 and living in mexico. I moved away, far...
    paotg paotg 22-25, F 3 Responses May 1

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    no matter how hard I try to push the thoughts

    away its always there, nagging me every hour of the day. The worst is when I close my eyes to sleep every detail every sound every voice everything is so vivid and real and just continuously plays over and over. During the day I can at least find something to distract my mind...
    deleted deleted 26-30 9 Responses Dec 14, 2013

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    It's been a couple of years

    and I still think of it. Not because I want to but because I keep having nightmares and I started going out with guy and I thought no problem because I would be over what happened to me but when he tried to get close to me like just a little kiss or hug me or hold hands with me...
    avey10 avey10 18-21, F 5 Responses Nov 26, 2014

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    How do I tell her that this has happened?

    It's not like I've never told anybody before because I have. I've never said the word rape out loud before and it's still quite painful to type- when I last told somebody, I hinted to it and hoped that they realised what I meant. She already knows that I sometimes make myself...
    hopeandsoul hopeandsoul 16-17, F 2 Responses Mar 28

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    For the last 5 months I some times randomly

    think about what happened and it makes me feel depressed, but I'm a little scared to talk to certain people about it because i happen to be male and the person who done it to me still goes to my school and i see him every day
    Blackrosebat Blackrosebat 16-17, M 2 Responses May 21

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    I was raped wen I was 11

    and again April 19 2014 but my attacker is now in jail for another crime but I think about it everyday,how he seemed so normal, how he smelled then wen he bragged about it to people on social media like I WANTED it??Makes my stomach turn. Hard to breath and love others
    kaykaycoker kaykaycoker 16-17, F 2 Responses Mar 26

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    Maybe is will make me feel better you know

    maybe telling alil of my story these past 4 days have been hell I can not sleep I can't cry anymore the one thing I hate when people say oh you could of done more I called the cops my so called friend that left me at my ex boyfriends house our story's did not match up I was...
    madisonhenson13 madisonhenson13 18-21, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    i am going though court

    and it seems to be taking forever but i just keep thinking of all the people i will help by doing this :)
    livelaughlove0987 livelaughlove0987 18-21, F 5 Responses Apr 5

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    Holiday From Hell

    When I was 15 I went on a long family holiday, whilst on holiday I got a lot of unwanted attention from guys. Before this holiday I was dating a guy that I'd been with for a few years. I had lost my virginity to him a few months before my rape. He was my first for everything...
    JAP93 JAP93 18-21, F 6 Responses Jan 11, 2013

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    Why Is He Still Out There??

    I was nearly 16 when I was raped Im nearly 21 now and that nasty man is still out there. My Mom knew him years ago when she was smaller, she was out one night with herfriend when they bumped into each other they hadnt seen each other in about 20 years. So they kept in touch then...
    freedz21 freedz21 18-21, F 8 Responses Nov 2, 2012

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    This isn't common but I actually enjoyed my

    rape changed my life ever since then I've always played in my booty I feel my heart beat in the hole that's when I know it's hungry for more ;)
    Horseofdiffcolor Horseofdiffcolor 22-25, T 3 Responses Mar 10

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    I Promise,

    I'm here for you. Cry, scream, rant, rage, feel what you need to feel. I'm here to listen, to share, to help. I truly do care. Let me share your burden for a while. I'm here. ❤️
    storyofyourlife storyofyourlife 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 27, 2013

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    I was brutally raped several months ago by a

    multitude of males and now I am carrying someone's twin sons. I just cannot bring myself to having an abortion. I have decided to let a childless interracial couple adopt my sons. I have nightmares several times a week. Also, I cry quite frequently on weekends. I am going...
    olderandpregnantfemale olderandpregnantfemale 46-50, F 16 Responses Jan 30, 2014

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    My Rape As A Kid

    Everything was fine that nice April day. I started dating my ex again, I had a nice dinner with my family, I learned how to do a cartwheel. I was 12 years old that day when my cousin age 23 took me to the store on the way home he gave me a cigarette. I asked for a drink so I...
    MissJuliet MissJuliet 16-17, F 8 Responses Jul 21, 2011

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    I feel like no one wants me

    because of my rape. I mean what guy wants a girl whos been raped? None. I feel like I'm just a sex object, not even a person anymore. Who wants a girl who let her uncle do that to her? Will I ever be comfortable with a guy? Becuase of what happened I can never trust guys and I...
    musicismysalvation musicismysalvation 18-21, F 13 Responses Mar 17, 2014

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    The second time I was raped was

    when I was 12. I was at my kind of boyfriends house we were hanging out watching a movie like we did on most week ends. It was August 15th 2009. One minute we were watching a movie and the next minute he was on top of me and we were making out. He started touching me down there...
    Teenmommy16 Teenmommy16 18-21, F 5 Responses Dec 17, 2013

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    What Happened In Brither'S Room

    Ok so I'm new to this so please bare with me. I'll try not to make this so long, hmm so I guess I'll start from the first incident.  When I was about I don't know maybe 8 or 9, I was upset at something I don't remember what it was; but I went into my parent's bedroom and locked...
    deleted deleted 26-30 7 Responses Jun 11, 2013

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    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Apr 24

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    I keep thinking im over it

    but it always comes up in my mind. Yesterday i saw a picture of my rapist. Its been over a year since ive seen him and its made me worse than i have been in a long time. I feel like it was my fault that it happened in the first place. I feel like i shouldnt be so triggered by it...
    anonymous138 anonymous138 16-17, F 2 Responses Apr 29

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    i know it was my fault.

    .ive always known. i just didnt want to believe it.
    anonymous138 anonymous138 16-17, F 4 Responses May 1

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    i look in the mirror today

    and I said when am I gonna lat go.....when am I gonna be free....my rape was real terrible every time I close my eyes i see it over and over . how I go through it is like a womb that can't be taken care of and my agner rose into flames but it leave a scar. a scar that says I'm a...
    Nasha17 Nasha17 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 23

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    I'm trying hard to understand what you did to

    me. I know what you have told me, I know what others have told me, what I don't understand is why. why? Why did you take something so precious from me, something that was mine to give away, not for you to take. I hate you with everything I am, I despise you, you disgust me, you...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Mar 26, 2014

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    I think about it daily.

    It's one of them things that never go away. You can't forget it. You just have to learn to live with it. But I don't know how I can learn to live with it. It's awful. It controls me. It has literally ruined my life!
    ThatTattooedGirl ThatTattooedGirl 18-21, F 6 Responses Mar 25

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    Why Me?

    Ok this is the fourth time in less than a year. I'm sick of this! Me and my boyfriend were goofing off you know having fun. We were in his room. Oops! He knew about my past already. I thought he would never do something like this to me. I was wrong. Of course. So we just...
    Crazylover15 Crazylover15 18-21, F 10 Responses May 15, 2013

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    do you ever feel like maybe youre just making

    it all up and maybe people are right. maybe you werent raped at all. i do. all the time.
    anonymous138 anonymous138 16-17, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    I looked him up on facebook!

    Why? He was there. Not active (thankfully). Ever since, I can't get it out of my head. I went from dieting and exercise to binge eating when no one is home. My boyfriend keeps asking me what's wrong but how do I say "I'm not over something that happened probably 20+ years...
    BionicCarole1985 BionicCarole1985 26-30, F May 15

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    tonight is really bad.

    I feel alone. scared. suicidal. I want to die. I just want someone to talk to who understands. I don't like to bother people but I feel like everyone that I had has left me.
    GodsArte GodsArte 18-21, F 7 Responses Jan 31

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    The Right Thing- Doesn't Mean Your Weak

    I told my story "the story of how" but I believe it's time I tell about the second time, the time the will always haunt me. Not long after Aaron and Charlie raped me, Charlie said sorry and I forgave him. Just a short while later, I was walking, just out for a walk, when Aaron...
    oOoAllieoOo oOoAllieoOo 18-21, F 9 Responses Dec 14, 2012

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