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I Cant Stop Thinking About My Rape

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,142 People

    After that night, I ran a lot to keep my mind

    off of it. One day I went for a run and there was a man walking maybe 100 feet behind me. I had the worst feeling of terror go through my body. I started to pick up my pace and I was so incredibly scared that he would catch up to me and hurt me. But then he turned into a house...
    jessicaellise jessicaellise 13-15, F 2 Responses Dec 7

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    I was sexually assaulted,

    it's been two months today and my attacker is in jail but I can't get the flashbacks out of my head I'm very depressed and I really want to self harm . Cutting is constantly on my mind and I am trying soo hard to not lose my sanity I CANT BELIEVE THAT THIS **** HAPPENED TO ME. I...
    gabyj410 gabyj410 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 16

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    No matter how hard I try I can't forget about

    it. How I was violated and it was all my fault. If I wasn't young and stupid I might just be happy right now. Every night everything replays in my head, I will never forget what he did to me. I will never escape. I try my hardest to forget but all the memories just keep flooding...
    ThatTattooedGirl ThatTattooedGirl 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 11

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    I'm a guy so it been hard dealing with being a

    victim of rape. I'm also straight which makes it a million times worse in my head to deal with. Only my parents and my therapist know and still I gave nothing more then the fact that it happened. I was 19 and it was my college roommate. He was a big guy, athlete, very popular...
    andrew20142014 andrew20142014 22-25, M 4 Responses Aug 12

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    What Happened In Brither'S Room

    Ok so I'm new to this so please bare with me. I'll try not to make this so long, hmm so I guess I'll start from the first incident.  When I was about I don't know maybe 8 or 9, I was upset at something I don't remember what it was; but I went into my parent's bedroom and locked...
    deleted deleted 26-30 7 Responses Jun 11, 2013

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    Holiday From Hell

    When I was 15 I went on a long family holiday, whilst on holiday I got a lot of unwanted attention from guys. Before this holiday I was dating a guy that I'd been with for a few years. I had lost my virginity to him a few months before my rape. He was my first for everything...
    JAP93 JAP93 18-21, F 6 Responses Jan 11, 2013

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    I wish i had proof to get him into trouble

    but i dont n im scared of court n to see him. I dont know what to do
    DarkShadowzBrightOutlook DarkShadowzBrightOutlook 13-15, F 2 Responses Jun 7

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    I was raped at age ten

    and the same guy just left my house :(
    lesbihonest981 lesbihonest981 16-17, F 3 Responses Jun 2

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    I've Been Having Flashbacks.

    they get so strong that i start to cry. they make me sick and make me feel dirty. every memory is another urge to cut myself. to bleed away the past. all i want is to forget. thats all i want. to have no memory of what he did to me. my body cant take this much longer. i feel so...
    RazerWolfFang RazerWolfFang 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 20, 2013

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    If you please click on me

    and read the post I did before this about my attack can I please get any advice or maybe someone friendly to talk to. I posted it on the wrong group like a silly sausage ?
    Bubbalicious93 Bubbalicious93 18-21, F Dec 9

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    The second time I was raped was

    when I was 12. I was at my kind of boyfriends house we were hanging out watching a movie like we did on most week ends. It was August 15th 2009. One minute we were watching a movie and the next minute he was on top of me and we were making out. He started touching me down there...
    Teenmommy16 Teenmommy16 16-17, F 5 Responses Dec 17, 2013

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    It's this awful replay

    that stays in my mind. It happened 4 times. I had such a low self esteem, I kept going back. I was manipulated and coerced to get in that car with him. He was the love of my life. My best friend. I hate him so much but I miss him too. Everything is a trigger. He lives across the...
    AlanaLlama AlanaLlama 18-21, F 3 Responses May 12

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    I try to for get what happened

    but that's a thing that is never going to leave my mind . God I just wish i would not had left that night . Cause now I know that no matter how strong you are theirs always some one more stronger then you out there
    tbird214 tbird214 18-21, M Jul 5

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    Shards of porcelain imbedded in my skin I'm

    your porcelain doll Maybe Im just as fragile Hold me tight but don't break me I am yours Please forgive me I didn't mean to love It just happened Push me, throw me You shattered me All that's left is broken glass You'll never clean up the mess That's why I'm laying here in bed...
    ridme ridme 22-25, F 8 Responses Feb 7

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    I was brutally raped several months ago by a

    multitude of males and now I am carrying someone's twin sons. I just cannot bring myself to having an abortion. I have decided to let a childless interracial couple adopt my sons. I have nightmares several times a week. Also, I cry quite frequently on weekends. I am going...
    olderandpregnantfemale olderandpregnantfemale 41-45, F 16 Responses Jan 30

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    Dont Trust Men

    It all started when I was 7. I was molested it continued till I was 13 thats when he raped me. I had the courage to tell a teacher at school. They called health and human services. They just let him go cause it was close to him being 18. Because of him I still cant trust men.
    vgambler vgambler 26-30, F 3 Responses Sep 14, 2012

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    First year College. I was new to the City,

    just moved there all be my self. I lived in a dormroom With 13 other guys, the College i went to there was mostly guys. I remember the first party, i have been Drinking at parties since i was 16 so i knew my limit. This extremly handsome guy came over to me and gave me a cup...
    KatEmeliaG KatEmeliaG 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 10

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    Didn't Think It'd Ever Happen To Me.

    I was 15, I had only turned 15 a week before when it happened. It was Christmas Eve, about 2 in the morning. The unthinkable had happened to me. Something I thought would have never happened to me. About two or three weeks earlier, I got up at around 6am to get ready for school...
    ConfidentialGirl ConfidentialGirl 18-21, F 5 Responses Jan 21, 2013

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    I Was Gang Raped.

    I went out with my first girlfriend in the Spring of 2011 (the end of my college freshmen year) One day, she invited me over to her house for a couple movies, & she wrapped her arms around me & kept whispering in my ear & it just felt so right, I decided to give in. So, we...
    ilovecherries92 ilovecherries92 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 18, 2012

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    Why Is He Still Out There??

    I was nearly 16 when I was raped Im nearly 21 now and that nasty man is still out there. My Mom knew him years ago when she was smaller, she was out one night with herfriend when they bumped into each other they hadnt seen each other in about 20 years. So they kept in touch then...
    freedz21 freedz21 18-21, F 7 Responses Nov 2, 2012

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    The rapes haunt me everyday.

    It is something I can not escape. Their faces the faces of the girls they raped me to. I feel worthless, unwanted, unloved, and alone. Its sickening they sleep peacefully in their beds while Im awake stuck in my own personal hell they created for me. The nightmares and flash...
    Kitten222489 Kitten222489 22-25, F 6 Responses May 4

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    I'm trying hard to understand what you did to

    me. I know what you have told me, I know what others have told me, what I don't understand is why. why? Why did you take something so precious from me, something that was mine to give away, not for you to take. I hate you with everything I am, I despise you, you disgust me, you...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Mar 26

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    When I was 5 my moms brother came to me

    and asked me to come to his room he was 15 at the time. I didn't know better so when he started to rape me I never said anything it ended when I was 8 and I moved away. I finally told my family about it when I was 15. They didn't talk to me for six months. I am 18 now and I...
    Haleyisme Haleyisme 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 6

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    My dad raped me last week.

    He was drunk and claimed that he had the right to anything he wanted. Then, all I can remember is extreme pain and waking in a hospital a few hours later. I have flashbacks every day after that, re-experience the pain again and again. I cannot sleep well these days, since I...
    ElsaBlack ElsaBlack 13-15, F 2 Responses Oct 4

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    I have been raped 5 times.

    I have never had sex with my permission before. Almost got raped by a group of guys. But someone saved me. Been forced to do many things in my life....
    jgelbz jgelbz 16-17, F 7 Responses Jan 29

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    I feel like no one wants me

    because of my rape. I mean what guy wants a girl whos been raped? None. I feel like I'm just a sex object, not even a person anymore. Who wants a girl who let her uncle do that to her? Will I ever be comfortable with a guy? Becuase of what happened I can never trust guys and I...
    musicismysalvation musicismysalvation 16-17, F 9 Responses Mar 17

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    My stories are not why Im here Im here

    because I know what its like to have no one believe you to be abandoned when you need someone the most the pain the shame and the fear the constant looking over your shoulder I want to help you to listen and be there the way I needed someone to be there for me after those...
    Kitten2514 Kitten2514 22-25, F 3 Responses Aug 31

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    I was raped twice in one month,

    both by guys I considered friends and never would have thought would do it. I guess it wasn't technically rape, but i said no to both of them multiple times. At first it wasn't as serious, but then I started to get more serious about it. Until I finally just gave in. I'm a small...
    fieldofwings fieldofwings 16-17, F 6 Responses Dec 15, 2013

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    Why Me?

    Ok this is the fourth time in less than a year. I'm sick of this! Me and my boyfriend were goofing off you know having fun. We were in his room. Oops! He knew about my past already. I thought he would never do something like this to me. I was wrong. Of course. So we just...
    Crazylover15 Crazylover15 18-21, F 11 Responses May 15, 2013

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    Has anyone been raped/molested by a parent?

    Every time I see him I feel sick. I'm so uncomfortable around him. I can't & won't tell anyone in my family. They don't even know they did it, they were too drunk. Why do other girls get nice families? Why do other girls get to go through life and trust their fathers, why does...
    kbeary kbeary 18-21, F 4 Responses Sep 16

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    I keep looking for validation from other people

    that what happened to me was horrific. I guess it's because part of me still can't seem to get it into her head that it was rape and wasn't my fault.
    mwdot mwdot 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 15

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    Maybe one day I will think about it

    and I will not feel bad...there will be no feelings of hate..bitterness...self loathing....maybe one day I will share my experience from an overcomes point of view
    CurvyandChic CurvyandChic 22-25, F 3 Responses Sep 22

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    I Am Strong.

    Hello, I am a 15 year old girl and i would like to share my painful experience with people who truly understand. I was in my room, voice chatting with a close friend of my for a very long time. My window was open, and it was dark. My parents were out of town, taking my younger...
    shjfstjoxsropvdsru shjfstjoxsropvdsru 13-15, F 26 Responses Jul 6, 2012

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    I Am...

    I cannot move, I cannot see, I cannot speak, But I hear, I feel, I feel the dirt burry my bones Each grain filling all the crevasses All the fractures, All the breaks, All the cuts, New and old I hear the footsteps of the man above, Pacing back and forth, His breath...
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses May 10, 2011

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    no matter how hard I try to push the thoughts

    away its always there, nagging me every hour of the day. The worst is when I close my eyes to sleep every detail every sound every voice everything is so vivid and real and just continuously plays over and over. During the day I can at least find something to distract my mind...
    deleted deleted 26-30 9 Responses Dec 14, 2013

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    The police didnt believe me.

    Neither did my parents. The only people who know are my 2 best friends, my brothers and my parents and police but they think I cried wolf. When I was in grade 7 I started hanging out with some grade 8's who go invited to high school parties. I got my drink drugged and woke up...
    QuinnMac12 QuinnMac12 13-15, F 4 Responses Aug 22

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    My Rape As A Kid

    Everything was fine that nice April day. I started dating my ex again, I had a nice dinner with my family, I learned how to do a cartwheel. I was 12 years old that day when my cousin age 23 took me to the store on the way home he gave me a cigarette. I asked for a drink so I...
    MissJuliet MissJuliet 16-17, F 8 Responses Jul 21, 2011

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    Rapes, to be more precise.

    .. I don't know what it is, but its easy to write off what happened as the result of something I did, or that the ugliness and evil is inside of me instead of the people who did the deed. Maybe I just keep thinking that there's merit to not holding grudges against people no...
    iamFrightened iamFrightened 18-21, M 3 Responses May 1

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    I'm considering reporting a rape

    that happened a few years ago to the police, and I would like to know before I do what is going to happen. If you have any experience with something like this or have known someone who did, please tell me how it all works. How will the police treat me? What will they want to...
    ThatTattooedGirl ThatTattooedGirl 18-21, F 5 Responses Nov 13

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    well.. it's more the nightmares.

    .. i'll often wake up in the middle of the night in a bit of a panic.. realizing I'm ok, and safe in my room.
    hayliepartychick hayliepartychick 18-21, F 3 Responses Jan 8

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    Its Getting Harder

    I don't really fancy going into detail about what happened to me, to be honest I can't even say the word of what's happened to me. I have really bad anxiety and a mood disorder and what happened is making it worse. Night times are the worst, I get so down, and not like when...
    SecretGirl14 SecretGirl14 18-21, F 5 Responses Oct 31, 2013

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    Stop Telling Me How Easy It Is...

    People think that it is so easy to just report a rape, to tell your family or other people, and last but not least, to just forget and move on. Let me tell you a little something about that.. When a person rapes you, they slowly kill your soul I wasn't beaten or anything the...
    NotAllScarsCanBeSeen NotAllScarsCanBeSeen 18-21, F 20 Responses Jan 25, 2013

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    I blame myself I hate myself

    for what happened I should have known better I dont know how I live with myself... im my own worst enemy.
    Kitten222489 Kitten222489 22-25, F 3 Responses May 14

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    What Happened In Brother'S Room

    Ok so I'm new to this so please bare with me. I'll try not to make this so long, hmm so I guess I'll start from the first incident.  When I was about I don't know maybe 8 or 9, I was upset at something I don't remember what it was; but I went into my parent's bedroom and locked...
    deleted deleted 26-30 9 Responses Jun 11, 2013

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    I thought we were best friends?

    - It's only been about two weeks.. Maybe three and the thought of what happened comes and goes in small doses. All I can say is that we were the best of friends. He was there for me during the rough times as well as the good times. I cried on his shoulder when others betrayed...
    SoAntagonistic SoAntagonistic 26-30, M 3 Responses Jun 23

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    I Hate Him For What He Did

    when i was younger  I was the Girl who got made fun of so when the oppertunity arised to go out with someone i took it. my friend got my talking to this guy he seemed normal on the phone like he cared, he was my friends friend how bad could he be! one night in december i decided...
    blueeyedangel25 blueeyedangel25 22-25, F 9 Responses Aug 31, 2012

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    It happened over the summer.

    Five guys eventually and I tried fighting back at first but they just ended up tying my arms behind me. God it seemed like forever and I've tried talking to a couple friends about it but haven't really much. Been having flashbacks lately.
    Keishha Keishha 26-30, F 1 Response 23 hrs ago

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    I am 21 when I was. 12 my brother let his

    friend rape me while he made shore no one would come in then his friend told me if I told he would kill me then he cut my legs with metal and walked off. when I was 16 I was again raped by a person I know I took him to court but he was found not guilty it was so scary being...
    rishellandrayne rishellandrayne 18-21, F 3 Responses Nov 5

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    The Right Thing- Doesn't Mean Your Weak

    I told my story "the story of how" but I believe it's time I tell about the second time, the time the will always haunt me. Not long after Aaron and Charlie raped me, Charlie said sorry and I forgave him. Just a short while later, I was walking, just out for a walk, when Aaron...
    oOoAllieoOo oOoAllieoOo 18-21, F 9 Responses Dec 14, 2012

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    I was 13. So was he. He was my kind of

    boyfriend. I repressed it until last year when I was 18. The nightmares and flashbacks have stopped but my life is completely messed up. I can't have a relationship. The idea of dating scares me. The idea of kids scares me more. The stupid thing is though I really want to have...
    deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses Jul 12

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    People keep wanting to help me with my rape.

    But how can they help me when I can't even understand what happened! I have so many questions but no answers.
    ThatTattooedGirl ThatTattooedGirl 18-21, F 5 Responses Dec 14

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