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I Choose to Be Faithful In a Sexless Marriage

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 255 People

    Been married for 36 years.

    My wife is an ACOA adult child of alcoholic. Her parents messed her up bad. Did not realize it at first. She was like a faithful loving wife ready to serve my every wish for years. Then the children came and we were bussy. They are grown now and on their own leaving us with...
    in2mec in2mec 51-55, M 2 Responses Dec 5, 2013

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    Fox In The Hen House

    I'm a little reluctant to write this, but I'm going for it anyway. I feel a bit like I've para-dropped behind enemy lines, and I'm about to be detected. Why? Because I represent the group that chose not to be faithful to a sexless marriage. I think what you are doing (remaining...
    TheWendigo TheWendigo 36-40, M 14 Responses Jun 13, 2011

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    Find It Harder Every Day

    I am faithful now in a completely sexless marriage. I find that to continue to do that is becoming increasingly difficult. Unfortunately, I have to depend on my wife's income. So, I cannot leave. I really do not want to hurt her by having an affair. So, I am kind of stuck in...
    OutOfPatience OutOfPatience 61-65, M 7 Responses Aug 5, 2011

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    Faithfully Holding On to Hope

    Married 12 years, together for 19. Intimacy left about 13 years ago, but still very much in love with my wife. I love being around her, we have alot in common. I am now starting to understand the difference between sex and intimacy. I yearn for the emotional feeling of intimacy...
    cash65 cash65 41-45, M 3 Responses Feb 3, 2009

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    Now I No Longer Believe Marriage Is Supposed to Make Me Happy

    I've been frustrated, hurt and confused for a long time, but no more. I think I achieved personal enlightenment. I'm not trying to say I've got it all figured out for you and your situation, but for my part I am 95 percent relaxed, happy, fulfilled and still love and enjoy my...
    realrightnow realrightnow 21-25, F 6 Responses Jul 3, 2008

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    Lies Ans Pain.

    My story would take for ever but in brief I have lived in a sexless marriage for 16 months.  My marriage has been plagued with problems but I chose to try and overcome these as I knew my husband loved me and I loved him and we led a good life traveling and enjoying the same...
    moontears moontears 51-55, F 9 Responses Sep 11, 2010

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    Nothing Going On.

     I never though it would end up like this, day after day week after week,year after year  not a hand shake, kiss, or even a hug.  My marriage life has come to a complete stand still. As a woman you would think it would not take much to get your man in bed for more than a...
    katnaps katnaps 51-55, F 16 Responses Sep 21, 2011

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    No Sex In This Marriage

    Well, it all just crazy life has drain the sex emotion out of us do to stress, family, work, we feel very lucky to still be togather after all the changes we have been through, now I have fibro diease, that lead to peridonal diease, that was started from depression just going to...
    deannzzee deannzzee 41-45, F 6 Responses Mar 8, 2011

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    Faithful By Choice, Sexless Not By Choice.

    My wife was diagnosed with stage 1 ovarian cancer many years ago. She was successfully treated, and has been given the all clear by the doctors. However, she needed a complete hysterectomy. This allowed her to survive, but it put an end to what was left of our sex life. She has...
    timothywgray timothywgray 41-45, M 17 Responses Sep 22, 2008

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    Faithful And Sexless

    After eight years, you'd think I'd be tired of not having sex. You'd think why does this crazy, young, twenty-five year old girl who has her whole life ahead of her stay? Well Let me explain: 1. We had a sexless relationship before we got married( on a calendar, 6 times in one...
    nelliebum nelliebum 26-30, F 8 Responses Aug 15, 2013

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    Sexless But Faithful By Choice

    While in a sexless marriage I choose to be faithful.  It is a choice I have to make every day, and sometimes even moments of the day as well.  I choose to be faithful for my children's sake.  How do I teach them to be faithful to their future spouses if I choose to...
    adama adama 36-40, M 21 Responses Jul 19, 2007

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    blakerbar blakerbar 18-21, M 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    Missing My Wife

    I am married, love my wife and she rejects me, it has been more than a month since we have been intimate. I am a faithful partner and want help to figure out how to adjust to her lack of desire towards me
    solaytriste solaytriste 41-45 2 Responses Feb 10, 2009

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    Bewildered

    I have been married to a wonderful man for nearly 15 years now.  He is my best friend in the world but it has been months since we have had sex.  He never had what you could call a high libido, but now I'm lucky if we have sex 4 times a year.  My husband is 14...
    Sacul Sacul 36-40, F 6 Responses Apr 15, 2008

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    It's a Tough Decision

     Having sex all alone isn't the ideal that I sought when we got married.  But, I love her and don't want to hurt her by being unfaithful.
    dorobo dorobo 70+, M 4 Responses Dec 26, 2008

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    Another Point Of View

    I got involved in a marriage for all of the wrong reasons and have stayed in it.  I felt pressured by a religious situation to get married and I met someone  with the same religious pressure  who was so desperate to get married that she misrepresented who she was to me.  And...
    blaze3 blaze3 56-60, M 6 Responses Aug 23, 2011

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    I Did

    for almost two decades. Now I have chosen to leave.  If I am being totally candid, its not really the lack of sex in itself.  It's all the other things that got me to that point.  For me it was the constant affairs, the lies, the crushing of me into someone I am not.  It took...
    TKD1 TKD1 46-50, F 2 Responses Oct 19, 2013

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    I have read many posts now,

    and I cannot claim to know what is the best route for others. I love my wife and I have amazing young kids, but our problem with sex goes back from long before the kids, and has been there for years. There was a long time where I would approach her and she never would want...
    travelight travelight 41-45, M 3 days ago

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    Making Love To Myself!

    I married a man that obviously only wanted me to bare his child. He stopped wanting to have sex with me after he got me pregnant. That was almost three years ago. I cried and suffered. I wanted to get married and have a healthy sex life. I wondered why is this happening to me...
    TrulyWhinehouse TrulyWhinehouse 31-35, F 2 Responses Sep 30, 2012

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    Not Married To Her But Has An Eerie Resemblence

    I've been in a very close friendship with this much older lady friend. Once Upon A Time We were in a relationship but at the time She was living her 2nd adolescence. The so called real relationship lasted about 2 yearsish but She stated to Me that She wasn't going to be devoted...
    Raziel1976 Raziel1976 36-40 Oct 15, 2013

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    The Xbox Is Killing My Marriage.

    I threw out all types of hints today.  I was seductive.  I was loving.  He overlooked every advance.  I was furious.  I went up and unplugged the game (yep right in the middle of him playing).   I yelled, I screamed and I banged around a...
    onmyown2009 onmyown2009 36-40, F 9 Responses Oct 20, 2009

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    I Choose To Be Faithful In A Sexless Marriage

    Similarly my husband has been chronically ill with heart disease & cancer, now in remission and is in no shape to have sex but our relationship still stands and he still shows me in many ways that he loves me, we have been together for 37 years tomorrow and I am his wife as well...
    waynenan29 waynenan29 51-55, F 4 Responses Dec 14, 2010

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    I love my wife and my kids

    but my wife has no interest in having sex with me. She would have sex if I initiated it but when I'm initiating all the time, it almost feels like I'm raping her. I just want her to show me some love once in a while. We don't even cuddle. She doesn't hug me or hold my hand. It's...
    clhockey5779 clhockey5779 31-35, M 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    In the Dark

    my husband hasnt touched me for two years he cant give me a reason i know hes not cheating and at first i felt hurt and rejected ect now its becoming normal to go without sex,i have never cheated on him but what is he thinking surely he has to imagine i might eventually if hes...
    hanginout hanginout 46-50 5 Responses Jul 3, 2008

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    Happy At Last!

    When I made my first story here. I was confused about being married to a practically no-libido, very sexually uptight man. Today, I am a happy satisfied woman. I had an epiphany, "Why am I looking to someone else to fulfill me?" I thought about it a long time. My husband is my...
    TrulyWhinehouse TrulyWhinehouse 31-35, F 8 Responses May 30, 2013

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    Yes, I Choose To Be Faithful, But Shouldn't I Be Choosing Divorce?

    This is the hardest thing I have ever done, staying this this marriage. It's not only lacking sex, it's lacking companionship, spiritual connection, emotional connection - a CONNECTION. He's a good man, really. A nice man. But I'm so lonely.
    Amy100co Amy100co 41-45, F 3 Responses Aug 24, 2012

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    Not Me

    I just clicked on the not me... My spouse sure isn't being faithful (by rejecting and neglecting me sexually) so she doesn't deserve faithfulness from me. I would be faithful (a one woman man), but she is not interested so what's the point.
    JRSK007 JRSK007 51-55, M 4 Responses Oct 22, 2007

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    Related Experiences

    I have been together with my wife for 18 years and been married for 8 years soon. And the past 8 years there have been less and less sex. For now, no sex at all. All these years i...
    WhereIsHome WhereIsHome 36-40, M 16 Responses Apr 9

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    Before and After … Nearing 8 months after my separation, I reflect on the emotional desert I have called my marriage. During those years, I was starved for a smile or a hug. A...
    SleeplessKnight SleeplessKnight 41-45, M 11 Responses Apr 6

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    I've been separated 6-months after being in a sexless marriage. I didn't stay in one place much during the separation. But after being overseas for a while (spent time in Australia...
    NeedingToVent NeedingToVent 36-40, F 6 Responses Mar 28

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    Psychology Today has a couple of recent articles regarding "Does Sexless marriage justify adultery". The articles are reasonable and informed and the comments worthwhile. They...
    hl42 hl42 51-55, M 8 Responses 5 days ago

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    Illusions That Kept Me Trapped in Sexless Marriage If you read my first EP story, you will get the impression that the sexlessness started with the conception of my child 4 years...
    SleeplessKnight SleeplessKnight 41-45, M 7 Responses 1 day ago

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    Make that, that I used to live in a marriage that was becoming a sexless marriage. Today would have been our second anniversary. The story is complicated, but to make it short, she...
    soundtrackforantarctica soundtrackforantarctica 26-30, M 8 Responses Mar 25

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    I'm a little bit tired of sexlessness one-up-manship that's been taking place in this forum recently. We haven't had sex in 15 months.... Reply: that's nothing We've had sex...
    elkclan elkclan 41-45, F 23 Responses 1 day ago

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    Update from Opposite Land Even though I normally have sex 3-4 times a week with my beloved post sexless marriage lover, I haven't had sex for a week. Why? He is sick with...
    Mettamomma Mettamomma 61-65, F 14 Responses Apr 10

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    Two weeks ago, I shared what I thought would be my current status for awhile. Life being what it is - it has thrown me into a crazy roller coaster loop once again. The good news...
    lightblueeyes lightblueeyes 46-50, F 21 Responses Mar 28

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    This is a little scary, posting about such private matters to people I've never met, but here goes. I googled sexless marriage for the first time today. What triggered it was the...
    TCKat TCKat 36-40, F 11 Responses Apr 10

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    It really does amaze me how many people are in a sexless marriage. I guess maybe because I'm an extremely sexual person, and my partner matches that, that I could never see myself...
    NYSlilAngel NYSlilAngel 26-30, F 3 Responses Mar 23

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    I had an incredible night. I have to share my experience. I was raised by my Grandmother, who lived in a sexless marriage. My Grandfather was a mean, cold, loveless husband. He...
    ifoundmehere ifoundmehere 41-45, F 11 Responses Mar 25

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    Remember the Peanuts cartoons where Charlie Brown tried and tried to kick the football held by Lucy? Charlie Brown would approach the ball, skeptical and questioning: "If I try to...
    indianoutlaw indianoutlaw 31-35, M 9 Responses Apr 2

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    Those who do not have to deal with this situation must find it odd that those of us who do, express such deep sadness and longing. How often do the comments suggested the simple...
    DumbLondoner DumbLondoner 51-55, M 18 Responses Apr 14

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    What would you consider sexless marriage? no sex in 1 month? 1 year? 5 yrs? How can anyone survive a sexless marriage without cheating? Just curious as I didn't know so many people...
    wiredwolf wiredwolf 31-35, M 9 Responses Apr 14

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    I stumbled across this song on YouTube. I'm a Natalie Merchant fan and was surprised I hadn't heard this song before. I've done some research about the meaning of the song. I read...
    greeneyedlady72 greeneyedlady72 41-45, F 9 Responses 6 days ago

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    For those staying in miserable sexless marriages "for the sake of the kids": "On Monday, one Redditor grappling with that very question went straight to the source, asking those...
    Mettamomma Mettamomma 61-65, F 13 Responses 1 day ago

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    Ive been married for 13 y. And Ive been living in a sexless marriage for the past 4 or 5 maybe more. We have three kids and there was always an excuse for not having sex with...
    aking1973 aking1973 41-45, M 17 Responses 1 day ago

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    Another thing missing from this sexless marriage, besides intimacy, love and respect is fun and laughter. (Jeez, what exactly do I get from this marriage) I thought that I had...
    Gingersnapped Gingersnapped 51-55, F 13 Responses Mar 25

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    There are 2 whys in the sexless marriage. The first is: why does my spouse not want sex? This leads to a huge cycle of reason-chasing, smokescreening from the refuser, magical...
    hl42 hl42 51-55, M 8 Responses Mar 26

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    I'm on my way out. We filed the papers to end our marriage yesterday, so in thirty to ninety days I will be single. It's a little sad. He and I both have said we never in a...
    couldbeheaven couldbeheaven 26-30, F 5 Responses Apr 1

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    Well I lived in a sexless marriage for 9 years. About 14 months ago I left finally and an starting over. I tried everything I could to revive our marriage. From candle light...
    Leavinstevin Leavinstevin 41-45, M 21 Responses Apr 15

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    My life is a sham. I am a 37 year old female and have been married to my husband for 2 years and together for 4. He has never been interested in sex with me but we did long...
    Pattycakey Pattycakey 36-40, F 18 Responses 3 days ago

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    Thank you to everyone who took the time to respond to my post yesterday. I was overwhelmed by the friendship and advice that you guys gave. As I think about the situation I am in...
    DumbLondoner DumbLondoner 51-55, M 10 Responses a week ago

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    Survey Says 1 In 5 Unhappily Married Women Are In A Sexless Marriage http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/03/21/marriage-infidelity-study_n_5009245.html
    LynxKitty LynxKitty 36-40, F 10 Responses Mar 23

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    My mother passed away peacefully on Monday, March 24, 2014. She had battled long and hard against the ravaging effects of years of smoking cigarettes. The last thing my mother...
    rosieapparition rosieapparition 51-55, F 28 Responses Mar 27

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