I Come Home Drunk Bump Into Things And Tell Them To Shhhh

it usually starts at the door when i argue with the key about not going in the hole then telling it to be quite when its turning. after that it just gets worse i switch from tell objects to shh then telling myself to.

Guess i am lucky that i'm funny when pissed, so people tell me, thank god i'm not my dad he mean. he cant look at people in the face in the morning. 

I went through my wild stage after my first girlfriend and I brokeup after 10 years together...Every weekend I was in Hotlanta at the gay clubs hanging out with my friends...

One time I fell off an air mattress at my buddy Ricky's...

...while the drinking itself may be a separate issue...on certain occasions, I would have paid to see myself in action. I giggle just thinking about the title of this group because I know I have done this. As long as you don't "rage" on...

Twas Christmas Eve and in the house nothing was stirring not even a moose....!!!! (this story must be set in Canada.... what it isn't and I just can't spell? ok I'll go on......)

Santa S had set forth on his travels to seek out the...

Ive spent my whole life trying not to become like the rest of them but ive given up on that now. Its who I am its in my blood. Why fight it. My head clears all the bad goes away.Things become fun I am happy I don't care about anything...

What the f***k do you think you're looking at?

C'mere and say that....

(collapses on face)..................
(August the 12th 1989.... that's all I can remember... aaahhhh happy days....)

Many people, some of them very good friends of mine, claim to have seen and even spoken to Unicorns...... (maybe I have and just can't remember). What do you think?Also open to comments on Leprechauns, fairies (little people in general...

On holiday last year in an European capital I went out to watch a football match in a bar.......Got back to the hotel room and thought I'd surprise my girlfriend... undressed down to my boxers and hid in the wardrobe.... after a...

but this group amuses me so i feel i must join it again :D

Thethil was a caterpillar Thethil was my fwend.....?when I first thaw Thethil hewas diiiis big :o)))..I athked him, hey Thethil what yah doing Thethil...?He thaid I'm a going to the garden to eat some cabbage!Tthethil was a caterpillar...

(Staggers about trying to take jacket off...... one arm out...... but can't quite reach the jacket arm hanging half way off my back, spinning round and round like a Mickey Mouse watch)

Put em up... put em up... (as in the...

I came home drunk late one night, about 2 or 3 a.m.
I forgot my house keys at my friends and didn't want to go all of the way back when I could just climb through my window. I was wearing some baggy jeans and a t-shirt that night. I...

. . . . . stupid shoes, now how did they get there? i was wearing them when I left the house.

Ok now this only happend one time,and lucky me there was someone to see it all!groan* one night,still at school,i came home high on the hooch,lol,and that after "study" group. So after nearly breaking myself and the front door in two...

last night i came home verry drunk and i was bummpingin to things like the couch, my bed,and every thing else.

When we were were underage, we always had to drink in secrecy from our parents. Usually at a friend's place whose parents were gone for the weekend, or, weather permitting, at the park. One time I was going to crash at my buddy's place...

So anyway, one late night I came home drunk as a skunk, and as I was walking through the living room, I bumped into something, I can't really remember because I was drunk obviously, and the only thing I remember was looking back and...

...Tell things that I bump into things and tell them Shhhh, or I outright discipline them to not reach out and hurt me again; it doesn't always work, but I still make it known that I don't like it when inanimate objects bump into me...