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I Cut My Self Or Inflict Pain On My Self

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 739 People

    I've been self harming

    since I was 16. I've been clean since 2-18-15. So why do I image myself slitting my arm down and mutilating myself? I can't seem to block the soothing thoughts. They relax and calm me, but don't help long term.
    lilypad99 lilypad99 18-21 May 3

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    Can't Stop

    It's about to be a year since I have started cutting, I can't stop. I have cut my arm up so badly that it's gone numb. It doesn't hurt. But, I'm still going to try. Thank you to those who let me rant.
    Got2cut Got2cut 13-15, F 2 Responses Jan 1, 2013

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    Sometimes I snap hair ties on my wrists

    and arms until they turn red, and I burn myself in the shower.
    KyrBella KyrBella 13-15, F 1 Response Jan 15

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    ADM (ay Dios Mio) I Cut Today :*{

    First, please let me say that I havn't done this in almost 9 years. I really was done and haven't even thought about it in many, many years.... Today though,  I don't kno.... I've just been going thru SOOOO much lately and I can't explain it. I just went in the...
    Contrarthodox Contrarthodox 26-30, F 7 Responses May 2, 2009

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    Slicer Liar Pretender

    i've been cutting since i was about eleven. it started with a small slow cut from scissors i had in school supplies. it hurt so badly, but being locked up in the bathroom... music on loud in my ears... that thin red line looked so beautiful. my wrist began to bead a ruby bracelet...
    burrowbunni burrowbunni 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 17, 2013

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    I hate myself. you inflect pain on those you

    hate.motional, phisical phycho health.
    omss omss 18-21, M May 4

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    I Punished Myself For Something I Couldn't Help

    One of my friends that I have known for years committed suicide, but the thing was, I was the last person he spoke to. He told me that his 'friend' was thinking about committing suicide but little did I know it was him he was talking about! I got so angry with myself and him, I...
    jijacinta6 jijacinta6 16-17, F Jan 5, 2013

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    I cut myself. I've cut

    for 3 years now.. And over those three years my cuts have gotten deeper and deeper. I started out with scratching myself with a pen, that turned into scissors, that turned into dull knives, and now I'm at razor blades. I hate it when people tell me to stop.. Like they expect me...
    worthlesssuicidal worthlesssuicidal 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 13, 2014

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    Cut Myself

    I have been cutting or hurting myself for the past 8 years, recently my parents saw my arm, that has over 30 slashes on it. Since then i have been seeing a tharapist but its not helping, i dont realy know why i do it other then i just feel empty and this is somthing that i can...
    coliom coliom 26-30, M 6 Responses May 11, 2009

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    9th Grade Year

    I had told this kid he was a friend. Just a friend not my best friend not real close to me. But I had told him that I needed help. He bugged me and bugged me till I told him that iv been cutting and I needed help. My best friend knew too but she didn't do anything. So this guy...
    Katybelle10897 Katybelle10897 22-25, F Sep 13, 2013

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    After 3 weeks of not cutting,

    I caved. I had a really bad day, and I was in Walmart when I had this awful panic attack. I took myself in the bathroom with my eyeglasses case that contains my razor, and I sliced my arm. I sat in the bathroom crying for a time after that until I stopped bleeding, and I...
    Akuratheleopard Akuratheleopard 26-30, F 4 Responses May 25, 2014

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    Cutting is no joking matter.

    It's not a stupid thing it doesn't make you ugly. It's an addiction Your not crazy if you do it It releases endorphins .. Stupid ******* c***.. Think again before you bring that up
    monsterfan21 monsterfan21 18-21, F Mar 12, 2014

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    This just recently, I felt too guilty of

    altering my sister's plushie with phrases(such that she didn't want any sounds on toys) that my punishment is to pay her the exact money she paid for the toy. This is the last time I disrespected a family member so out of shame and sadness, I began writing "I am disrespectful...
    Starfishgirl Starfishgirl 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 28, 2014

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    I just went through a bad break up

    and the first thing i thought was "maybe cutting again will stop the pain" but i was afraid that If i started i wouldnt stop again.. My freshman year of high school I would cut myself on a regular basis. A year after that I stopped. So after this break up a few days ago I wanted...
    HelloKittyEatzSoulz HelloKittyEatzSoulz 18-21, F 4 Responses Jan 9, 2014

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    I really don't know why I started cutting.

    I juat did. Which makes me feel worse everytime I think about it because everybody tells me that my life is perfect but I really don't consider it perfect. I just know I can't stop
    skinnywishes99 skinnywishes99 13-15, F 1 Response May 21, 2014

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    It's Been A While

    It's been many years since I last self-harmed. And I still have the scars to show, although I hide them under wristbands that I wear almost every day. Hardly anyone knows of what I put myself through. I cut myself too deep once and damaged the vein in my arm so every so often, I...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Nov 26, 2013

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    I hate the urge to cut,

    its driving me insane!
    ClockworkTimesUp ClockworkTimesUp 16-17, F Sep 27, 2014

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    I don't cut in a compulsive skin picker.

    I have been doing this for 18 years. not sure how our why it started but it did. I sure have the scars all over to show it. I wear jeans and men's tshirts to hide the scaring (and because I'm over weight). when anyone asks I don't know what to say because their are scars all...
    kareenmarie kareenmarie 36-40, F Jun 18

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    I Broke Today.

    For the first time in over a year, I cut again. I was so afraid that I'd hate myself even more than I already do, but the sick part is, it felt so good. I need help. I'm just not sure I want it this time around.
    hope228 hope228 16-17, F 4 Responses Oct 15, 2012

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    Pain Is The Game

    I guess I could say I am different from all of you,But in all reality I'm not that different. I don't see a point to live. I cut way too often,and i go out of my way to do things that i know will hurt. i would rather deal with the physical pain than have to think about the...
    xXHotxIceXx xXHotxIceXx 13-15, F 3 Responses Dec 11, 2012

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    I haven't cut or hurt myself in

    so long. But with the way my anxiety and bipolar been acting up. Its time to start feeling the pain. At one time cutting was my best friend. Im tried of feeling emotions. I dont want to feel the anxiety. Just the blade going across my skin.
    penpalwriter penpalwriter 41-45, F 1 Response Aug 15, 2014

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    I started in 6th grade

    and sorda stopped in 8th but yet even though i stopped it's been about 2 1/5 months im not even happy/proud of my self? I don't know why i should be right?
    human8672 human8672 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 16, 2014

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    I inflict pain on myself

    because it feels good to me I cut myself to sacrifice to lord Jashin hail lord Jashin
    Jashinistkid Jashinistkid 16-17, M 2 Responses Aug 1, 2014

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    I've never cut myself deep enough to leave

    scars, it's not that I don't want to, I'm just frightened. Lately I've been using safety pins, keys, and my own nails to create cuts and once they are there I enjoy looking at them every once in a while. I've tried to stop but when something goes bad it is an automatic...
    Taradactyl123 Taradactyl123 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 6, 2014

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    Is There Other People Out There Like Me???

    when things get to hard for me to handel i cut my self or hurtmy self it started when i was 15 yrs. old istill do it if i'm feeling really dawn or if i really messed up that day i just get the urge to hurt my self it scaries me bacouse i'm affraid that one day i will go to fare...
    halfpint halfpint 26-30, M 9 Responses May 8, 2007

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    I just finished cutting I hadn't done it in a

    while, I usually do it on my inner thighs, stomach, or under my breasts so no one can see. But my preferred area is the arms, I like to cut or burn them with cigarettes. I relapsed because I'm a victim of verbal and mental abuse and I'm tired of feeling emotional pain, I would...
    Bellalargo Bellalargo 31-35, F 1 Response May 5

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    Haven't told anyone..

    . And I also want to die.
    TheShipsGoingDown TheShipsGoingDown 13-15, F Apr 30, 2014

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    I'm Not Afraid Of Death, I'm Afraid Of Living

    I lay awake, waiting; waiting for someone to take the pain away even though I know no one will come I still prevail hoping the whole in my chest will disappear all the memories are coming back the ones I've stuffed down so I wouldn't have to remember and relive the days...
    WakingUp2Reality WakingUp2Reality 16-17, F 3 Responses Dec 23, 2009

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    Seven Years Ago

    I first began cutting in my ninth grade year of high school.  It was the year that I lost myself and turned to cutting in a wave of confusion.  I had friends and a loving family.  There were a few problems in my life, but nothing that could really be pointed to as...
    troopr13 troopr13 18-21, F Jun 24, 2010

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    I Don't Know Why I Do It

    I don't know why I cut myself. I guess it's because nobody truly knows what I'm going through, and the only way of showing someone that I'm not okay is having the scars on my arms. But nobody notices. Ever. Nobody care's enough to notice those scars. They assume the smile...
    SiberianHuskyLover SiberianHuskyLover 16-17, F 3 Responses Apr 17, 2010

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    I haven"t been cutting

    for 1 mont but today i was so upset and stress out and i cut myself with a cutter well it didn"t bleed but it still feels good sometime i wonder when you cutt why do you feel good?
    reginacs reginacs 18-21, F 3 Responses Sep 30, 2014

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    Help

    I have a story to share, but not yet. It's long and complicated and I'm honestly not sure how many people would read it in the first place. I'm too young to join this group, just shy of the age limit, but I just want anyone that reads this to know it seriously gets better. I'm a...
    truublondy truublondy 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 18, 2013

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    So Much Pain For Such A Young Age..

    I don't remember the first time i cut but i do remember being a child and a self harmer.. In elementary school, around the ages 8 or 9, i started doing small things such as not pulling away if i got hurt, purposely touching the iron, picking at my skin, scratching myself, etc.. I...
    SimplyxBroken SimplyxBroken 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 18, 2013

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    For 6 years I have inflicted pain on myself

    nearly everyday. But my skin has gotten smart, it heals quickly, leaves little to no scarring, and becomes harder to slit everyday. It's as if my body is fighting the one owning it, and it terrifies me to see the things i can do to myself. I sometimes just find myself at the...
    ChaosCallaLily ChaosCallaLily 18-21, F Apr 30, 2014

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    The Cut

    Here we go. From 5 th grade till 8 th grade i was bulled by my classmates, because i was looking weird, talking weird and had another kind of ideas. They was calling me looser, emo. Sometimes they said me to go to die. They destroied me, my mental health and so on. Now i became...
    paula1147 paula1147 16-17, F 2 Responses Jan 19, 2013

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    Like today.. Did it on the hips,

    multiple time. I'm so tried of my mum abusing me, dealing with my juvenile brother, and having to deal with kids at school. I'm always hiding myself. I never show them my true self. I pretend to be someone I'm not. No, I'm not looking for attention. I'm posting this story to...
    Littlewolf1562 Littlewolf1562 13-15, F 3 Responses 11 hrs ago

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    Revenge

    Hi. I used to cut myself with what I could find. Sewing pins, broken glass, but I didn't have access to a razor. My best friend in the frightening 6th grade world, who I held too tight for what she was worth left me for my enemy who hated me for no reason. She ripped out my heart...
    Adventuretime12 Adventuretime12 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 25, 2013

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    Babygirl12296 Babygirl12296 18-21, F Apr 30, 2014

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    Starting

    Last night I inflicted pain on myself for the first time. I had thought about it for a while but knew it was dangerous so I always had the self control not to, until I finally lost it. I don't know if I knew I would have no way to hide the sneak myself a knife or if I was...
    sobainnewyork sobainnewyork 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 18, 2013

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    I don't know why. Pain?

    Depression? I really don't know why. But I have scars. I haven't done it for a while. I really didn't like the blood.
    hawny4gurlz hawny4gurlz 18-21, F 7 Responses Jan 26, 2014

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    Sometimes I get self conscious about my

    scarring.. I have tattoos, and people always want to see. I've .. Recently started cutting again.. I went 8 years without doing it and after that I fell off the wagon.. Well, a girl approached me while I was doing laundry and asked to look at my ink.. I held out my arm, nervous...
    Akuratheleopard Akuratheleopard 26-30, F 2 Responses May 21, 2014

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    I burn myself when I need something

    that hurts more than the pain I'm in.
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jul 9

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    I stopped cutting my skin.

    I stopped a while ago.. But recently I've been doing something that isn't as bad but still not a good thing, I've been beating myself until I bruise.. It's not cutting though..
    Driftyftw Driftyftw 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 22

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    Sometimes when I get really upset,

    I punch myself as hard as I can in the temple. I have knocked myself out on several occasions and after a while I feel peace but then I feel ashamed.
    Hotjrod03 Hotjrod03 26-30, M 1 Response May 5

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    I want to cut so bad

    but I can't because of a doctor appointment in a few weeks it won't heal in time. It's a melanoma check cause my dad has it and its something that can be genetic. So they are gonna check every inch if my body :( all I want is to bleed a little
    maggielue maggielue 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 12, 2014

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    People say cutting is

    for attention but they don't know anyone's story. I've been through a lot n having a rough time. I just wish anyone could understand how I feel because I try n tell my family but they won't every get it
    laceyaliyah laceyaliyah 16-17, F 2 Responses