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I Cut My Self Or Inflict Pain On My Self

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 557 People

    You Can't Notice Right Away...

    It's hard, to figure it out. Maybe because you don't pay attention or maybe because they hide it Soo well. It's all in the details. When someone stops smiling the moment you aren't looking. Or how when you ask a question and suddenly their answers become shorter, they laugh a...
    EmberWazowski EmberWazowski 18-21, F 12 Responses Jun 18, 2013

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    Scratched Till I Bled

    I have just cut my entire left arm, it's a mess, scars mixed with blood. I hate myself, I want to feel pain due to my chronic depression...
    rikkbb rikkbb 26-30, M 1 Response Dec 11, 2012

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    3 Years

    Ive hadnt cut for about 3 years. Today I feel the feeling comming on. I feel if I dont please people in my family or feel like im not doing enough. I need to punish myself. The cutting feeling has always been with my. It never when away. But tonight I think it will win.
    penpalwriter penpalwriter 41-45, F 2 Responses Jul 24, 2013

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    Eight On My Left Arm

    Had a really rough day. -sigh- i regretted today from the beginning. And im sorry to the friends who love me for doing it.
    Caitlinsmith1636 Caitlinsmith1636 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 27, 2013

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    My New Addiction.....

    So it all happened in 2010.....Depression and new struggles..... For some reason I studied depression and from that point on I cried myself to sleep not knowing why.... A lot of my singing competitions got canceled or rained out so it felt as if the work i did was just for...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jul 14, 2013

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    Normal To Think This Isn't Wrong?

    I have cut my self in the past. Mostly due to stress and anger. It is a great relief. It seems strange, but I never cut too much, or too deep, and I think that it's "harmless". I'm not suicidal, and have realized I enjoy tattoos (I am almost covered!) but there is still that...
    Benny04 Benny04 26-30, F 1 Response May 31, 2012

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    So Much Pain For Such A Young Age..

    I don't remember the first time i cut but i do remember being a child and a self harmer.. In elementary school, around the ages 8 or 9, i started doing small things such as not pulling away if i got hurt, purposely touching the iron, picking at my skin, scratching myself, etc.. I...
    SimplyxBroken SimplyxBroken 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 18, 2013

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    I cut myself. I've cut

    for 3 years now.. And over those three years my cuts have gotten deeper and deeper. I started out with scratching myself with a pen, that turned into scissors, that turned into dull knives, and now I'm at razor blades. I hate it when people tell me to stop.. Like they expect me...
    worthlesssuicidal worthlesssuicidal 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 13

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    I Broke Today.

    For the first time in over a year, I cut again. I was so afraid that I'd hate myself even more than I already do, but the sick part is, it felt so good. I need help. I'm just not sure I want it this time around.
    hope228 hope228 16-17, F 4 Responses Oct 15, 2012

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    Losing Myself...

    I'd like to say that I stopped for a long time and just recently started to feel the anger/insecurity that would always flood my thoughts. I don't think that those thoughts ever stopped, but I could control my feelings if I drowned myself in other things. So yes, I stopped...
    koocnetsirk koocnetsirk 26-30, F 1 Response Oct 29, 2013

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    New Sickness Old Cure

    I carved my flesh since the first year of high school. when I started I did every day, but only scratches kinda. it eventually got to where the deeper I did it the less often I'd have to. so I started to cut every week instead, then I could go a month sometimes but they wounds...
    siaryu siaryu 18-21, F Oct 8, 2013

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    I've never cut myself deep enough to leave

    scars, it's not that I don't want to, I'm just frightened. Lately I've been using safety pins, keys, and my own nails to create cuts and once they are there I enjoy looking at them every once in a while. I've tried to stop but when something goes bad it is an automatic...
    Taradactyl123 Taradactyl123 18-21, F Jan 6

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    I Don't Know Why I Do It

    I don't know why I cut myself. I guess it's because nobody truly knows what I'm going through, and the only way of showing someone that I'm not okay is having the scars on my arms. But nobody notices. Ever. Nobody care's enough to notice those scars. They assume the smile...
    SiberianHuskyLover SiberianHuskyLover 16-17, F 3 Responses Apr 17, 2010

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    People say cutting is

    for attention but they don't know anyone's story. I've been through a lot n having a rough time. I just wish anyone could understand how I feel because I try n tell my family but they won't every get it
    laceyaliyah laceyaliyah 13-15, F 2 Responses Jan 9

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    Revenge

    Hi. I used to cut myself with what I could find. Sewing pins, broken glass, but I didn't have access to a razor. My best friend in the frightening 6th grade world, who I held too tight for what she was worth left me for my enemy who hated me for no reason. She ripped out my heart...
    Adventuretime12 Adventuretime12 16-17, F 1 Response Feb 25, 2013

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    For 6 years I have inflicted pain on myself

    nearly everyday. But my skin has gotten smart, it heals quickly, leaves little to no scarring, and becomes harder to slit everyday. It's as if my body is fighting the one owning it, and it terrifies me to see the things i can do to myself. I sometimes just find myself at the...
    ChaosCallaLily ChaosCallaLily 18-21, F Apr 30

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    Lildemii Lildemii 18-21, F Apr 30

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    I really don't know why I started cutting.

    I juat did. Which makes me feel worse everytime I think about it because everybody tells me that my life is perfect but I really don't consider it perfect. I just know I can't stop
    skinnywishes99 skinnywishes99 13-15, F 1 Response May 21

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    Cut Myself

    I have been cutting or hurting myself for the past 8 years, recently my parents saw my arm, that has over 30 slashes on it. Since then i have been seeing a tharapist but its not helping, i dont realy know why i do it other then i just feel empty and this is somthing that i can...
    coliom coliom 22-25, M 6 Responses May 11, 2009

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    Started Again

    Hi I'm new here But I need help stopping cutting. I haven't since April and now I can't stop. Stress of school and family it seems too much.
    TangledLife TangledLife 18-21, F Oct 6, 2013

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    I just went through a bad break up

    and the first thing i thought was "maybe cutting again will stop the pain" but i was afraid that If i started i wouldnt stop again.. My freshman year of high school I would cut myself on a regular basis. A year after that I stopped. So after this break up a few days ago I wanted...
    HelloKittyEatzSoulz HelloKittyEatzSoulz 18-21, F 3 Responses Jan 9

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    After 3 weeks of not cutting,

    I caved. I had a really bad day, and I was in Walmart when I had this awful panic attack. I took myself in the bathroom with my eyeglasses case that contains my razor, and I sliced my arm. I sat in the bathroom crying for a time after that until I stopped bleeding, and I...
    Akuratheleopard Akuratheleopard 26-30, F 3 Responses May 25

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    It's Been A While

    It's been many years since I last self-harmed. And I still have the scars to show, although I hide them under wristbands that I wear almost every day. Hardly anyone knows of what I put myself through. I cut myself too deep once and damaged the vein in my arm so every so often, I...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Nov 26, 2013

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    My First Cut

    It happened 2 years ago. I came home from school after being severely bullied. I was kicked, laughed at and made fun of. I ran up to my room and cried for a while. I saw my pencil sharpener and took it apart to the blade. Nobody was home that night. I told myself just once to...
    dyeingforperfection dyeingforperfection 13-15, F Aug 1, 2013

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    Treatment.

    I think it's time for me to go get help. I've. Been looking online and found I really good place. I'll have to stay the a couple days to a week there. I don't know if I should. I would miss a lot of school. I don't know what to do to be honest.
    littlelou16 littlelou16 16-17, F 3 Responses Nov 14, 2013

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    I don't know why. Pain?

    Depression? I really don't know why. But I have scars. I haven't done it for a while. I really didn't like the blood.
    hawny4gurlz hawny4gurlz 18-21, F 5 Responses Jan 26

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    Starting

    Last night I inflicted pain on myself for the first time. I had thought about it for a while but knew it was dangerous so I always had the self control not to, until I finally lost it. I don't know if I knew I would have no way to hide the sneak myself a knife or if I was...
    sobainnewyork sobainnewyork 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 18, 2013

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    Pain Is The Game

    I guess I could say I am different from all of you,But in all reality I'm not that different. I don't see a point to live. I cut way too often,and i go out of my way to do things that i know will hurt. i would rather deal with the physical pain than have to think about the...
    xXHotxIceXx xXHotxIceXx 13-15, F 3 Responses Dec 11, 2012

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    Sometimes I get self conscious about my

    scarring.. I have tattoos, and people always want to see. I've .. Recently started cutting again.. I went 8 years without doing it and after that I fell off the wagon.. Well, a girl approached me while I was doing laundry and asked to look at my ink.. I held out my arm, nervous...
    Akuratheleopard Akuratheleopard 26-30, F 2 Responses May 21

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    I Cut Because Of My Broken Heart

    I met this boy at a party and we started talking and i just basically love/d everything about him every little thing he did, so after the party we started chatting on whatsapp and i soon told him that i liked him a lot and he kinda knew before anyway because of the way we spoke...
    sosick123 sosick123 13-15, F Jan 1, 2013

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    It Helps Me But Wish I Could Stop

    When I was 14 I started to cut my legs so no one would see my friend saw and tryed to get me help I promised I would stop but just got better at hiding it now 9 years latter I still do it it's hard not to it relives the pain in side and makes my pain easyer to handle I do want to...
    Wed2121 Wed2121 22-25, F Oct 5, 2013

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    It Hurts

    After my rape. I started cutting myself. I felt like this was the only way to get my feelings out without actually talking about it. I have NEVER talked about my feeling. I use a knife and put a flame underneath it once its really hot.. I cut. I am bipolar, dyslexic, suffer from...
    Lovelycharmxoxo Lovelycharmxoxo 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 31, 2013

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    The Cut

    Here we go. From 5 th grade till 8 th grade i was bulled by my classmates, because i was looking weird, talking weird and had another kind of ideas. They was calling me looser, emo. Sometimes they said me to go to die. They destroied me, my mental health and so on. Now i became...
    paula1147 paula1147 16-17, F 2 Responses Jan 19, 2013

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    Cutting is no joking matter.

    It's not a stupid thing it doesn't make you ugly. It's an addiction Your not crazy if you do it It releases endorphins .. Stupid ******* c***.. Think again before you bring that up
    monsterfan21 monsterfan21 18-21, F Mar 12

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    9th Grade Year

    I had told this kid he was a friend. Just a friend not my best friend not real close to me. But I had told him that I needed help. He bugged me and bugged me till I told him that iv been cutting and I needed help. My best friend knew too but she didn't do anything. So this guy...
    Katybelle10897 Katybelle10897 22-25, F Sep 13, 2013

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    Can't Stop

    It's about to be a year since I have started cutting, I can't stop. I have cut my arm up so badly that it's gone numb. It doesn't hurt. But, I'm still going to try. Thank you to those who let me rant.
    Got2cut Got2cut 13-15, F 2 Responses Jan 1, 2013

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    I'm Not Afraid Of Death, I'm Afraid Of Living

    I lay awake, waiting; waiting for someone to take the pain away even though I know no one will come I still prevail hoping the whole in my chest will disappear all the memories are coming back the ones I've stuffed down so I wouldn't have to remember and relive the days...
    WakingUp2Reality WakingUp2Reality 16-17, F 3 Responses Dec 23, 2009

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    Slicer Liar Pretender

    i've been cutting since i was about eleven. it started with a small slow cut from scissors i had in school supplies. it hurt so badly, but being locked up in the bathroom... music on loud in my ears... that thin red line looked so beautiful. my wrist began to bead a ruby bracelet...
    burrowbunni burrowbunni 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 17, 2013

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    I started in 6th grade

    and sorda stopped in 8th but yet even though i stopped it's been about 2 1/5 months im not even happy/proud of my self? I don't know why i should be right?
    human8672 human8672 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 16

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    Help

    I have a story to share, but not yet. It's long and complicated and I'm honestly not sure how many people would read it in the first place. I'm too young to join this group, just shy of the age limit, but I just want anyone that reads this to know it seriously gets better. I'm a...
    truublondy truublondy 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 18, 2013

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    I Punished Myself For Something I Couldn't Help

    One of my friends that I have known for years committed suicide, but the thing was, I was the last person he spoke to. He told me that his 'friend' was thinking about committing suicide but little did I know it was him he was talking about! I got so angry with myself and him, I...
    jijacinta6 jijacinta6 16-17, F Jan 5, 2013

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    This just recently, I felt too guilty of

    altering my sister's plushie with phrases(such that she didn't want any sounds on toys) that my punishment is to pay her the exact money she paid for the toy. This is the last time I disrespected a family member so out of shame and sadness, I began writing "I am disrespectful...
    Starfishgirl Starfishgirl 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 28

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    Haven't told anyone..

    . And I also want to die.
    LivingLikeClara LivingLikeClara 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 30

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    ADM (ay Dios Mio) I Cut Today :*{

    First, please let me say that I havn't done this in almost 9 years. I really was done and haven't even thought about it in many, many years.... Today though,  I don't kno.... I've just been going thru SOOOO much lately and I can't explain it. I just went in the...
    Contrarthodox Contrarthodox 26-30, F 7 Responses May 2, 2009

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    Seven Years Ago

    I first began cutting in my ninth grade year of high school.  It was the year that I lost myself and turned to cutting in a wave of confusion.  I had friends and a loving family.  There were a few problems in my life, but nothing that could really be pointed to as...
    troopr13 troopr13 18-21, F Jun 24, 2010

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    I want to cut so bad

    but I can't because of a doctor appointment in a few weeks it won't heal in time. It's a melanoma check cause my dad has it and its something that can be genetic. So they are gonna check every inch if my body :( all I want is to bleed a little
    maggielue maggielue 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 12

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    Is There Other People Out There Like Me???

    when things get to hard for me to handel i cut my self or hurtmy self it started when i was 15 yrs. old istill do it if i'm feeling really dawn or if i really messed up that day i just get the urge to hurt my self it scaries me bacouse i'm affraid that one day i will go to fare...
    halfpint halfpint 26-30, M 9 Responses May 8, 2007

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    Clean.....Or Rather I Was...

    Two years clean......til last night. Memories came flooding back as I remembered the terrible event that finally drove me to cut....I was raped nearly three years ago.......by that point, I had been abused by my mom for 13 years........The rape just drove me over the edge...
    jesussaves2013 jesussaves2013 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 26, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    I have a lot of scars on my arms and my parents don't know and I'm meant be dying my hair but my mom said that i have to do the allergy test first which is putting the dye on your...
    straylii straylii 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 22

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    Kind of ironic, isn't it? The way we cut to stop pain. We inflict pain to forget pain. Trade emotional pain for physical pain because it's easier to take. But people don't see this...
    VolleyBallPrincess14 VolleyBallPrincess14 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 2

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    I started self harming when I was about 9, but it sort of faded out. Maybe 6 months ago I started up again and this time around it's stuck. Sometimes, when something bad is...
    JustOldLight JustOldLight 13-15, F 2 Responses 14 hrs ago

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    I feel that I might be able to reach more people with my story then doing this individual. For those of you that know me on this site when I say that I get this I GET THIS. I...
    mlcockrell mlcockrell 36-40, M 9 mins ago

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    Yea I just give up in life and hate myself I'm going to cut right now. I'm only cut myself twice and stop might cut 3 or 4 times this time.
    laserabe1 laserabe1 16-17, M 2 Responses 4 hrs ago </