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I Cut My Self

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 800 People

    The Butterfly Project.

    The Rules are: 1. When you feel like you want to cut, take a marker, pen, or sharpies and draw a butterfly on your arm or hand. 2. Name the butterfly after a loved one, or someone that really wants you to get better. 3. You must let the butterfly fade naturally. NO scrubbing it...
    somethingbecomingnothing somethingbecomingnothing 18-21, F 20 Responses Dec 15, 2011

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    greemn greemn 13-15, F 1 Response Nov 23, 2015

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    BreeInspired BreeInspired 16-17, F 4 Responses Jan 27

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    i started cuting again i really hate myself

    for it im 18 now and i still havent stoped
    madhattergirl41 madhattergirl41 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 1, 2015

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    I was driving home today

    and I stopped at McDonalds to get a smoothie, I went through the drive through and when I reached out to grab my smoothie from the guy he must have seen my cuts because he hesitated, then said, "you don't know me, but can you promise me you won't cut tonight?" and I could feel...
    nornorrr nornorrr 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 31, 2014

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    <3

    She’s emo? You’d cut too, if you’ve been through what she has. She’s anorexic? You’d be too, if everyone called you fat everyday. She’s a *****? She made one mistake that cost her, her reputation. She’s a showoff? Her parents abused her, & she’s never heard of...
    PinkiieeBabyy PinkiieeBabyy 18-21 12 Responses Oct 7, 2011

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    I know I should stop

    but I'm addicted… I think maybe if I had somebody I could talk to during the night, somebody to tell to put down the blade, maybe I would. But I don't have anyone and it's hard for me to stop… I just cut so much
    Depressedgolfer96 Depressedgolfer96 18-21, M 1 Response Jan 5

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    I knew a boy who liked to draw He drew pictures

    that nobody saw He was most artistic late at night In the bathroom out of sight He kept a secret no one knew He didn't tell a soul and his gallery grew His drawings were different No paper or pen But needed a bandage now and again We stood by the river under the stars He...
    beautifulgirl09 beautifulgirl09 18-21, F 5 Responses Jun 26, 2014

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    It's just so freeing.

    .. It's like being high, but even better... I feel so calm and relieved now... It was only 10 cuts. 10 new scare... But it did the trick
    MrCutBleedSmile MrCutBleedSmile 18-21, M Sep 9, 2015

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    When ever I am sad I always cut myself n I just

    wish I stab myself right through the heart so I don't have to live
    lookket lookket 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 1, 2015

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    I'm going to an indoor water park tomorrow

    and I can't find anything to cover the cuts on my leg..
    Brokentobits Brokentobits 13-15, F 1 Response Dec 23, 2015

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    I've been cutting for five years now.

    No one knows but two people. I get bullied an no one cares. So why should i, ill cut till im numb or better yet dead.
    oreomine12 oreomine12 13-15, F 1 Response Dec 2, 2015

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    Rip Isabelle

    Drip. Drip.The water is clear.And now it’s red.She’s all alone.Now she’s dead.Drip. Drip.Covered in blood.There’s no skin left.See her bones?Look, she’s dead.Drip. Drip.She starved herself.She always bled.She’s beautiful.But she’s dead.Drip. Drip.She’s so young.So...
    somethingbecomingnothing somethingbecomingnothing 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 13, 2012

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    Everyday I'm battling trying my best not to cut.

    But people just hurt me. It takes a lot to make me cut. I just let it build up in me. Until is too much to handle. That is when that blade goes across my wrist or thigh. That the world is full of 'loveliness'.
    oreomine12 oreomine12 13-15, F Dec 4, 2015

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    It's been awhile since I last cut,

    but the scars on my thighs and my arms will always be there to remind of all the pain I've been through..
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jan 4

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    Been clean since 6-27-14 .

    -. It's only been 2days but I'm hoping to keep it that way
    Waterstorm Waterstorm 16-17, F 3 Responses Jun 29, 2014

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    Handle With Care

    "People always want to know what it feels like, so I’ll tell you: there’s a sting when you first slice, and then your heart speeds up when you see the blood, because you know you’ve done something you shouldn’t have, and yet you’ve gotten away with it. Then you sort of...
    somethingbecomingnothing somethingbecomingnothing 18-21, F 9 Responses Feb 13, 2012

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    pdogshotu pdogshotu 18-21, F 15 Responses Sep 30, 2014

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    Today, I'm going to share my story with you.

    :) Almost two years ago I fell into serious depression. I was crying myself to sleep every other night and I believed that no one cared for me. Not too many people know what it feels like when not a single soul gives a damn about you. Doesn't feel very good ... I had extremely...
    tamnialler tamnialler 16-17, F 13 Responses Mar 3, 2014

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    People don't take cutters seriously.

    If they knew someone who cuts they would say that we are attention seekers or we're creepy or just in a growing up stage where teenagers are just confused. Like really?? If we want attention, we wouldn't hide when we cut, or if this is like some part of growing up we wouldn't be...
    vhientie vhientie 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 7, 2014

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    I cut. Im weak. No one can help me

    unless he is with me. But i don't see him much. I am Sucidal an he knows it: why is hard to not hurt someone who actually love an are about you. I don't purposely hurt him. Its just im so weak i cant help but to cut. Its the only thing i know in mylife. Cutting an being Street...
    oreomine12 oreomine12 13-15, F 1 Response Dec 5, 2015

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    I cut my love tells me not to

    but I don't stop he try to help me through it I stopped then started again maybe one day I'll leave it all behind me
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Jan 3

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    Cutting. It makes you do crazy things.

    Crazy things like steal a blade from the dollar store on a casual family trip to pick up a pill organizer. Stealing is wrong. I know it is but I did it. Can someone please explain to me how I STOLE SOMETHING!! How did I get here? How did I get to the point where I don't even...
    RandomInkFlow RandomInkFlow 18-21, T Aug 27, 2015

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    I've been cutting for a long time now.

    I just can't seem to stop, and I don't really want to anyways. I need it to make it through the day. No one in my life even suspects that I could do this to myself. They all think I'm this happy little girl. I wish they could see past that, but whatever. It's better for them to...
    BleedingLittleBlueGirl BleedingLittleBlueGirl 18-21, F 5 Responses May 28, 2014

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    I haven't felt this way in three years I

    thought I was done with this sucks I don't wanna do it but **** what else can I do nothing helps and temptation is a *****
    imbleedingout imbleedingout 16-17, M 3 Responses Aug 30, 2015

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    I'm sitting in the ER waiting room,

    waiting for a nasty cut to be stitched up and all I can think about is cutting again. Maybe I should learn how to do sutures on my own.
    RandomInkFlow RandomInkFlow 18-21, T 1 Response Sep 2, 2015

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    Never walk into a cutter's room without

    knocking. More for your sake than for theirs.
    RandomInkFlow RandomInkFlow 18-21, T 1 Response Aug 30, 2015

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    <3

    She paints a pretty picture but this picture has a twist you see.. her paintbrush is a razor ... and her canvas is her wrist she paints her pretty picture in a color thats blood red while using her sharp painbrush she ends up finally dead her pretty pictures fading quite...
    PinkiieeBabyy PinkiieeBabyy 18-21 4 Responses Oct 3, 2011

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    Sabrinacute Sabrinacute 13-15, F Dec 17, 2015

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    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Jun 24, 2015

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    Oh my god. ****. I hate myself.

    I'm so annoying. I'm expendable to all my friends. In my darkest hour everyone leaves me. The razor offered sanctity, if only for a few seconds. But I dragged the time out, going deeper, turning the single cut into a gaping hole until I'd been working on the cut for half an hour...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Dec 16, 2013

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    it feels good... i do it everyday

    and would love to talk to people who also love cuting about it ans to cut together!
    pinkyted pinkyted 13-15, F Jan 25

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    Count To 10

    Shut your eyes tight, Tell yourself it's all alright. Clench your fists in till they feel as if they could burst, You remember the time you had to do this first. You're eyes soon reach their fill, Soon after you're tears begin to spill. Brace yourself for what's yet to come...
    bigeyesseemore bigeyesseemore 18-21, F 4 Responses Dec 1, 2012

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    Just realised I'm half a year clean!

    Waw that's an achievement right?
    DeadGhost123 DeadGhost123 16-17, M 10 Responses Feb 21, 2015

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    My scars are still getting better slowly.

    Little by little worst part is I will wake up every morning and see my pain.
    BlueWings1 BlueWings1 18-21, F 5 Responses Apr 17, 2014

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    Happiness This is something we all long for.

    The pursuit of happiness is an interesting idea, but the problem with it is that it objectifies happiness, places happiness OUTSIDE of your SELF. That is where the problem is. Happiness is a state of mind, such as sadness, anger, jealousy, etc. Its a way of processing thoughts...
    GoodOwl GoodOwl 18-21 1 Response Jan 5

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    so i'm 89 days clean.

    i wrote this poem thinking it would help me. i wrote it 89 days ago. it's helped me a lot. maybe it can help other people too. stay clean, you don't deserve the hurt, head up <3 just put down that blade, looking down, watching your cuts bleed. tears slowly well up in your...
    18butterfly 18butterfly 18-21, F 8 Responses Feb 10, 2014

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    I knew a boy who liked to draw,

    He drew pictures that nobody saw, He was most artistic late at night, In the bathroom out of sight, He kept a secret no one knew. His drawings were different, no paper or pen, But needed a bandage now and again. We stood by the river under the stars, He rolled up his...
    Pettifogger Pettifogger 18-21, M 6 Responses Mar 4, 2014

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    Away From Youre Self

    I cut my self.... Its like a drug.. it gets you to a place of peace.. a place where you don't think about you're problems.. a place where you think of the future.. a fealing of numness.... a fealing of no fealing.... but most of all it gets you away from youre self....
    yme73 yme73 16-17, M 23 Responses Apr 28, 2009

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    Yeah what can I say? I hate myself

    and I hate my life! If I died no one would miss me.
    Katy2003 Katy2003 13-15, F 15 Responses a week ago

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    Scars

    When I see the scars on my body I think, "What have I done?". I think of I have to always wear bracelets. Or that people will judge me if they see. Will anyone love me? I'm so broken. 3 months clean, but I'm scared of triggers.
    5minuetsofsummer 5minuetsofsummer 18-21 17 Responses Oct 13, 2013

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    I'll kiss your scars I'll touch your heart

    You cover your arms In painful art I know you're hurt I'm here to help Your screams were unheard But there was something I felt Your words touched me Your cries worried me I'll hold your hand I'll always be here I understand I'm sincere I want to see you smile I want...
    Piercedprincess17 Piercedprincess17 18-21, F 12 Responses Jun 27, 2014

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    I'm just giving over this now,

    I just gave my blades to someone if you days ago… I know how hard it is so I'm here for anyone who needs anything
    love11915 love11915 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 18

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    there's a moment in when you just go numb.

    in that moment, it feels good. numb. like the whole world is off your shoulders. that or I'm just a ******* phychopath that likes blood. the worst part about cutting is when you try, but fail to hide it from people.
    beccab1210 beccab1210 13-15, F 1 Response Dec 22, 2015

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    Clean

    I've been clean well over two months now but most things set me off wanting to cut again but I haven't so, woohoo I guess.
    deleted deleted 26-30 9 Responses Jul 21, 2013

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