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I Cut Myself Because Of Depression

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,126 People

    Old habits... the hospitals couldn't fix my

    urges to mutilate my skin. Carving the beautiful patterns that are my stories that people will never know. It's an addiction. A necessity. The pain I deserve is slowly killing me as I go deeper with my sharpest knife. The few people that have ever spoke to me don't understand...
    wouldyoumissme wouldyoumissme 16-17, M 1 Response Mar 2

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    I'm about to the point of starting this again.

    The antidepressants aren't completely helping. I see my mom in an unhappy marriage and it breaks my heart, especially since I still live at home and I'm always put in the middle. It has been really hard these last few weeks and I've been good so far, but I don't know how much...
    drummergrl06 drummergrl06 26-30, F 1 Response Nov 23, 2014

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    Please don't hesitate to talk to me

    if you ever feel alone, worthless, sad, or feel the need to hurt yourself. You're not alone in your struggle, everyone at some point feels the way you do and many people have overcome it. I'm here for you
    Michaelyourguardianangel Michaelyourguardianangel 18-21, M Nov 23, 2014

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    You're not alone, you're not worthless,

    message me if you ever need someone to talk to
    Michaelyourguardianangel Michaelyourguardianangel 18-21, M Nov 23, 2014

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    Shxnnon Shxnnon 16-17, F 4 Responses Aug 6, 2014

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    Cutting yourself is like cutting your own heart

    open. No matter how hard you try, only blood will ever escape your body. Your emotions and pain will forever be within you until you are ready to turn it into love.
    GetYourFreakOn GetYourFreakOn 18-21, F Sep 5, 2014

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    Yes I am a cutter but I'm not proud of it at

    all. in fact I do my best to pretend like they aren't there. I have old ones on my left arm but new and old ones on both of my thighs. I hate myself for doing it but I feel better at times after just making the thoughts stop. pretty much it's an addiction and it sucks. it stops...
    easterbaby88 easterbaby88 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 12

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    Need Help....

    I've been trying to stop cutting, I've gone over two weeks but the temptation is getting worse. I have no much to lose if I cut again now and all of it I can't go without. I need some support I have none here....
    K3ru54 K3ru54 16-17, F 6 Responses Nov 9, 2013

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    I tried to cut myself

    when I was 12. Because of a puny, funny reason; I was not able to study all of the subjects for the supposed final exams tomorrow that day. I was so depressed because I was afraid I would get zero. The crazy part was I didn't even make a move to study. I just cried. I was...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Nov 21, 2014

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    I can't help it. I'm in the darkest place ever.

    I've gone through this before, but I got through it all & I thought that was the end. But it's all coming back. I don't know if I can escape this one.
    monicaar3 monicaar3 18-21, F Mar 23

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    Now for weeks I've been crying in my bed

    because of depression and all the bullying and school and I decided to cut myself. I did it today and it felt strange but now its the only thing I think about... I don't know what to do with my life anymore and should I cut myself again...
    suicidegirl123 suicidegirl123 18-21, F 3 Responses Dec 11, 2014

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    I know I shouldn't because it'll be dangerous

    because of what I'm going through but I just can't resist the temptation of cutting, the cold blade touching your skin and a little pressure results in blood oozing out. no more pain.
    yourcutelittlejo yourcutelittlejo 16-17, F 1 Response Jul 26

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    I just cut... I can't stop crying.

    .. I just need all the pain to disappear.. The memories to go away
    Muppo23 Muppo23 16-17, F 7 Responses Dec 2, 2014

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    sometimes my depression seems to hard to handle.

    its hard to handle when my love one and me argue and he tells me mean things. maybe thats y.im depress huh..any ways. i cut myself when i feel.like i want to die but i dont want to kill myself so i cut myself and the pain distracts me and makes me kind of sooth the urge of doing...
    sexyinpink08 sexyinpink08 22-25, F Jun 22

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    Before today I hadn't cut in 16 days.

    .. That didn't last long. Back to cutting again.
    Wallflower5906 Wallflower5906 16-17, F 5 Responses Jun 22, 2014

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    I tried this method for the first time last

    night. I know this sound weird but the cold surface of the blade is basically the only thing I've really felt in months
    deleted deleted 26-30 Jun 8

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    I regret cutting myself

    because I do it on my thigh. I can't wear shorts around my family or they'll see it. I've cut myself so many times there that's it's obvious what it's from. I need to stop. I cut myself a couple of weeks ago and I did it really really deep. The scars are healed but they're still...
    staygoldenbaby staygoldenbaby 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 10

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    Hey there. There is no

    such thing somebody can fix you. You gotta fix yourself! Is all in you! In your mind! You gotta learn to see your pain and understand it. And try to not let your emotion controls you but the other way around. Happiness is not in the circumstances. Its your choice whether you...
    LovelyLilly13 LovelyLilly13 22-25, F 1 Response Dec 13, 2014

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    OfMiceAndKaylinn OfMiceAndKaylinn 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 16

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    My friend tells me not to cut myself

    if I'm depressed just talk to him but then he's always ditching me to hang with his other friends and expects me not to use a knife when I'm depressed well I'm going to because my cuts won't leave me alone(I'm a girl so don't ask in the comments)
    butterflybaby123 butterflybaby123 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 2

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    I have been a cutter

    for five years. I cut my thighs and my left wrist and have been taken to the hospital twice for cutting my wrist (although I definitely should have had my legs stitched more than once, yet no one noticed). The second time I was hospitalized, I was police escorted and then...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Mar 11, 2014

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    Please remember that you are not alone,

    if you need to talk to anyone please feel free to message me.
    Michaelyourguardianangel Michaelyourguardianangel 18-21, M Nov 20, 2014

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    I Did It Because It Felt Better...

    So, I've been cutting since I was in about 8th grade. It's been something I've wanted to stop for a really long time, but I just don't know how. Sometimes I feel like I'm trapped in a box when I'm at school, I see people who look happy and it makes me want to cry. I'm envious...
    IdontMissYou IdontMissYou 16-17, F 1 Response Feb 27, 2011

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    I've managed to handle my depression

    but sometimes the fights with my mom and the stress just wants to make me pick up the razor and release some of that tension. Sometimes I feel like my boyfriend doesn't fully understand why I do it and instead of slowly talking me out of it he thinks Talking to me firm will get...
    BrokenGiggles BrokenGiggles 18-21, F Jun 8

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    Getting That Urge Again...

    It has been 51 days since I last cut myself, but the urge is getting harder to resist. I keep trying to find other outlets, other coping skills, but nothing has brought ne the same satisfaction. Satisfaction... I can't express how ashamed and appauled I am for being satisfied...
    kateegirl kateegirl 22-25, F 1 Response May 21, 2012

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    I know this is a queue old

    and silly trick, but as a person who used to have depression and used to cut, I recommend (If you want to reduce or stop cutting) To have a scrunchie (hair tie) in your pocket, bag or straight up on your wrist. If I have the utge to cut, I wear the scrunchie around my wrist and...
    nemelabychtubyt nemelabychtubyt 13-15, F Jun 20

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    Well for starter my name is Riri "most people

    call me that". I myself am also a victim of self harm. I used to attend an awesome cool corrupt school but I wasn't corrupt like them. I did my school work and everything that was required of me but my parents decided to transfer me to another school. At first I was pretty...
    Riri49 Riri49 13-15, F 2 Responses Jul 10

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    Stop The World, I'm Getting Off.

    A broken mirror, A bleeding first, Holding onto a silver razor, As tears stream down, Onto lips unkissed. She is not one that will be missed. I'll show you mine, Only if you show me yours, We'll compare scars, Decide who's worse. I've come to the point, Where I'm bleeding...
    bigeyesseemore bigeyesseemore 18-21, F 4 Responses Jul 19, 2012

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    I Cut Myself Because I Feel Unadequate.

    About 7 months ago I looked at my razor in the shower and thought "I'm depressed, I should do something about it".That night was the first time I cut.I did it once a week usually.I had a major fight with my friend about 5 months ago and it got worse.Sometimes I cut everyday...
    messeduppoet messeduppoet 16-17, F 9 Responses Sep 27, 2012

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    Addictive

    For me, every day without cutting is a small victory. I used to be very dependent on cutting. Every time I got sad, or angry, or frustrated, I would cut just so it would all go away for just a little while. So I could just take a moment and not have to worry about all the bad...
    heyyitsericaxx heyyitsericaxx 16-17, F 3 Responses Jun 27, 2013

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    I Cut Myself

    I started to cut myself at the beginning of this year. I started to feel depressed and it just felt like the only thing i could do at the time. As the year went on my depression got a lot worse and i began cutting myself a lot more often. i would always do it in places that i...
    problemsismymiddlename problemsismymiddlename 16-17 1 Response Nov 19, 2012

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    Im really starting to hate my scars I use to

    think they were beautiful but I don't think that anymore because now every time I look at them it reminds me how much I hate myself i must hate myself a lot if I can take a blade to my wrist and run it across my skin I'll probably be called a attention seeker and some people...
    butterflybaby123 butterflybaby123 13-15, F 5 Responses Jun 24

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    I just realized today is day 40 of being clean.

    Haven't cut for 40 days... Damn okay.
    wanttobeokay wanttobeokay 13-15, F 2 Responses Jul 14

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    I Deserve To Cut Myself

    my life so far has been a huge **** up, i get bad grades, the one girl that means everything to me ive done nothing to but hurt, well at least thats what it seems, so i cut myself, everyday,all the way up my arm i have scars, my legs too, im 15, ive been cutting since 13 and i...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Jul 27, 2013

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    People turn against me

    when I say I cut myself but if they walked a mile in my shoes they'd understand what I've been through.
    StephBlakeIsInfinite StephBlakeIsInfinite 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 25

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    i've been doing it for over a year

    and i cant stop l had 4 razors in a little pencil tube and it fell out of my binder😓😔
    mariabish mariabish 13-15, F 3 Responses Apr 17

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    butterflybaby123 butterflybaby123 13-15, F Aug 7

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    I haven't cut for about two weeks,

    but it's getting harder. I want someone who doesn't tell me to stop, but makes me want to stop.
    PurpleUnicorn1 PurpleUnicorn1 16-17, F 2 Responses May 19, 2014

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    Used to. A lot of people tell me to keep

    smiling, to go on being positive, inspiring, bringing hope. But none of them know that I wasn’t always this way. That I’m more acquainted with misery and grief than they think. They wouldn’t recognize the person I was, in a very bad place and with a different outlook. From...
    Emeraldee Emeraldee 26-30, F 2 Responses May 7, 2014

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    Please take the time to watch this,

    you're not as alone as you think http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=v7LBggDKEtM
    Michaelyourguardianangel Michaelyourguardianangel 18-21, M Nov 21, 2014

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    **WARNING: May be triggering

    for some** Nobody's perfect, and this is absolutely one of my flaws. Especially since I've been dealing with painful flashbacks that are growing with intensity recently, I'm usually angry and in pain, and I'm not even sure what triggers it anymore. I can't help to just hurt...
    Whobody Whobody 16-17, M Apr 3

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    I Need A Decent Friend To Talk To!

    I've been suffering from depression all my life! I started cutting myself at the age of 9! I'm ashamed to say its become an addiction! Tonight was the first time in over a year I've done it and I'm so ashamed! I need someone to talk to who won't judge me and understand me...
    deleted deleted 26-30 9 Responses Aug 30, 2011

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    I've started again last night.

    I'm even too scared to write the word, I just feel so ugly right now. Instead of sleeping, I harmed myself. My brain knows it's wrong, my heart just doesn't accept it. I'm so ashamed of myself for doing it, but it makes me feel relief at the same time. Like the scars on my body...
    crackedwriter crackedwriter 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 6

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    I don't actual know if I have depression,

    all I know is that sometimes I feel so empty and lifeless and I cut to feel better
    Ilovelarry8 Ilovelarry8 22-25, T Jul 15

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    I've started to cut myself again

    and the cuts are getting deeper and deeper every time I do it.. I didn't do it for few years when I was feeling bit better but here we are again..
    SuicidalSam SuicidalSam 18-21, M 2 Responses Aug 11

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    I Cut Myself And I'M 13

    My life gets so hard at times I don't know what to do anymore I ant run off my problems write them down or even talk about them I used to use music to help or I used to go up high in a tree and sing to myself or I would go sit on my tire swing and look out at my pasture I'm...
    deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses Jul 26, 2013