I Cut Myself For the First Time

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 125 People

    I remember a while ago now.

    ...it was a cold day and a lot had happened I felt really depressed and was so down .i remembers hearing about self harm from somewhere but I went and tried it to see how I felt after it so I went into my mums sewing room and grabbed a very very sharp crafting knife and cut my...
    tabsbad123 tabsbad123
    18-21, M
    2 Responses Feb 2, 2014


    It happened at work. I was having the worst day .. it started out really good and I dont know what happened but everything turned to ****. My girl and I started fighting on top of everything else and I had had enough. Ever get to the point where you cant take anything else and if...
    Funkalicious Funkalicious
    22-25, F
    4 Responses Mar 18, 2009


    this is my story, and how I first started cutting. (sorry, it's a bit confusing) *names have been changed. My best friend in the whole world was *Amy. She knew everything about me and we couldn't be closer. Well, I began crushing on my brothers best friend, *Seth. After...
    misscade misscade
    18-21, F
    1 Response Feb 16, 2010

    Honesty I've always been self-conscious about

    inflicting pain or harming myself, but is something that deep inside I wanted to do way before. I've been feeling lonely and detached/disconnected from the world lately, so I start to question whether I was truely alive or not, and I have to admit that even that I didn't like it...
    awzn awzn
    26-30, M
    Jun 28, 2014

    .....I cut myself for the first time about 3

    weeks ago.... It stung. I remember the night so clearly. I was depressed because I found out my crush had sex with another girl when I knew him. He lied to me saying he didn't. I found out that he did.. I was heartbroken. That night I hates myself for falling in love with...
    BVBGirl31 BVBGirl31
    16-17, F
    3 Responses Apr 17, 2014

    I Want To Cut!!!!!

    Ive been thinking about cutting but I'm scared of how other people may view me. But I can't take "this" anymore....please can someone help me and let me know about their first time and did you fear that if you started someone would find out?!?!
    lonelysoul7 lonelysoul7
    1 Response Apr 23, 2013

    A little while ago, I opened up a package of

    push pins and a thought came into my mind. Why not just scratch myself with it? I kept scratching and scratching, and on one of the scratches, I just kept going over it and over it. It was bleeding, and it felt so good. I made a small tiny cut at first, then made a large one. My...
    Iamstillstanding Iamstillstanding
    16-17, F
    3 Responses Apr 20, 2014

    It's funny, how innocent you are growing up

    and then you get to a point, around 13, where all the ideas and good memories you had stop meaning anything and the realities of life start crushing you. Actually, it's not funny. It's probably the most depressing thing I could ever think of. Picture a child, who believed life...
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Jun 28, 2014

    The Stress That I Had Always Builted Up !

    when i was little my life was perfect i had a nice house,a nice older sister and brother ... then when i was about eight or nine i found out my dad cheated on my mom twice before i was born and got both of the girlz got pregnant. right now im twelve and both of them are about...
    dreamingdaily dreamingdaily
    18-21, F
    2 Responses May 9, 2012

    IM Just Lost Angry Depressed

    Since I was a little girl I felt sad lonely depressed I felt like no one loved me no one cares I'm confused I'm lost I don't know were I belong today Iam 16 today my boyfriend broke up with me so I started to cut myself for the first time it was painful but kinda made the pain...
    sharan8513 sharan8513
    Jul 13, 2013

    My arms throbbing with pain

    after being hit on the arm with a plank of wood. The woman continues to scream. Continues to shout. Continues to remind me why everything is my fault, and how much she hates me. I walk around aimlessly around the room, clutching onto my injured arm. I contemplate storming out...
    revolucion revolucion
    26-30, M
    Mar 19, 2014

    I cut myself for the first time last night.

    I have no idea what even happened so many thing are just going wrong and I can't trust anyone anymore. I totally regret cutting myself and will never do it again.
    mychemicalmichael mychemicalmichael
    18-21, F
    Jun 8, 2014

    I was 12(16 now) and beginning to develop an

    eating disorder. My mom was starting to catch on and I needed another way to find control in my life. I'd heard about some people who cut themselves because it makes them feel better. I kept pulling away from the idea because it seemed to bizarre, but the more I thought about it...
    scarlettButterfly scarlettButterfly
    22-25, F
    1 Response Dec 14, 2013

    That First Cut

    Me and my mom were arguing. I forget why but it got bad. She ended up telling me that she hated me. I went into my brothers room and grabbed his protracted and headed out to the car. I locked myself in their and slowly carved a heart into my hip and in the other hip a cross. I...
    dropdeadxo dropdeadxo
    18-21, F
    Jul 23, 2013

    I did this to my leg last night.

    ..... I have the actual cuts on the sides of my legs....
    Iamstillstanding Iamstillstanding
    16-17, F
    3 Responses Apr 21, 2014

    My husband and I been having problems just got

    married not to long ago we'll he has a drinking problem and when he's sober where so happy together n he drinks we still do good until he gets drunk I try so hard to help him and I'm tired of fighting so he started blaming me for things I don't do n I try my best to full fill...
    Undercoverdarkness Undercoverdarkness
    2 Responses Oct 23, 2014


    I started cutting myself a few months ago.    I was having a really bad day. i woke up late because my alarm didn't go off, and my mom was really mad at me, as she had been all weekend. So she was yelling at me and threatening me and...it was not fun. So I went to...
    watchingandwaiting watchingandwaiting
    Apr 2, 2010

    Today, I got kicked out of

    yet another home. Two years ago, I left an abusive home to go 350 miles away to live with friends. I walked away from my job, my very few friends and my family. Things didn't improve. I was looking for work, but in a small town, jobs are hard to come by. Finally, after 14 months...
    deanmartinforever88 deanmartinforever88
    26-30, F
    Jun 18, 2014

    The First Time I Cut

    The first time I cut: I waited. I waited until everyone was asleep. I crept out of bed, the floor cold sent chills up my spine. I walked into the bathroom. Stared at my reflection. I stared at my reflection. I stared and I stared and I stared for what seemed to be hours. My...
    WrestlesBears WrestlesBears
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Jun 28, 2013

    i'm loosing all my hope

    and i'm just suffering. i barely leave my bed and i'm failing at school and i'm fighting the thought of death all the time
    InvisibleBoy7 InvisibleBoy7
    18-21, M
    Oct 29, 2014

    Dont Know What to Do

     i have recently started cutting myself or hurting myself intentionally. i cry myself to sleep but then when i go to school or am around my family and friends i act all happy and no one is suspecting anything. i dont know why i started or why i cry it just randomly started...
    1someonehelpme1 1someonehelpme1
    2 Responses Aug 22, 2009

    I have had so much going on in my life

    and I'm only 14!! I have another friend that has been suicidal and she cuts as well. She tried to commit suicide four times now and it's caused so much on my heart. I also lost a friend. I was abandoned. Then I was touched, as in bad touch, by a so-called friend. It hurt. A lot...
    Isabugy Isabugy
    16-17, F
    2 Responses Jul 2, 2014

    I cut myself for the first time an hour

    or two ago. I'm going to be 18 in two months. My father reminded me again that I am a huge disappointment to him, and that I will be graduating at a new school an hour away from my current school as punishment for being "a failure" in his eyes. In reality, I hadn't finished a...
    leesideuni leesideuni
    18-21, F
    1 Response Dec 13, 2015

    I've been really depressed lately.

    ...really depressed. There doesn't seem to be a reason behind it. I have no one to go to about it either. My mom "doesn't want another mentally ill child". I did it as an experiment of why cutters did it. It felt so good, the pain felt really nice and now here I am doing it again...
    Ryanppax Ryanppax
    22-25, M
    Nov 15, 2014


    *sigh* Well... last night I stayed over my boyfriend's and that was nice. But I was stupid and wanting to pretend that I wasn't living with my parents and didn't call them to let them know I was staying out. (I'm almost 22 though it doesn't matter too much with this story...
    AnotherStatistic AnotherStatistic
    18-21, F
    1 Response Dec 30, 2009

    Yer I Did

    Well the first time I did that, like properly with a you know.. was after I'd been on EP for several months, I'd recieved lotsss of support and understanding from my epeeps and I'd tried to pass it forward and support others on the site but then I got a bit overwhelmed and then...
    TheLuckyHobo TheLuckyHobo
    31-35, M
    3 Responses Mar 16, 2013

    My First Cut

    A few months ago I was working on a huge school project with some people that did no work at all and we're really mean to me. We decided that we had to get together at my house to work on our project. Even though I knew we had to, the thought made me sick. When I got home I cried...
    Kamikamako Kamikamako
    16-17, F
    1 Response Nov 17, 2013

    I Still Remember

    my first time was in 2011, altho im not sure of the date...it was back when things were really bad, and id been really upset. this was before id even thought about razors, so i picked up a pair of scissors, like the ones they give you in grade school. I cut my left wrist four...
    zydeko zydeko
    Aug 24, 2013

    I cut for the first time today.

    I feel like I will get addicted to it and I am scared people will ask questions about the scars. And I don't want to worry anyone, but I really need to not do it again because I am only 13 and well my life isn't great but people have it a lot worse. And I help all my friends...
    ItsGoingToBeOkay7 ItsGoingToBeOkay7
    16-17, F
    1 Response Jul 30, 2014

    Bloody Razors

    Bloody razors, **** me off, Tried usin' 'em, Shaver broke down, Cut myself, First time ever, No wonder, Can't stand 'em, Too dangerous, My shaver, Gettin' replaced!
    startinover1 startinover1
    1 Response May 3, 2012

    Some Else's Pain Can Become Your Pain

    A couple of months ago my close friend told me she cut. This was new to me because I didn't know of anyone who cut. Then she told me she had attempted suicide. This hurt me deeply. Cutting had never even crossed my mind before. I cut for the first time. I did it a 3:30 am on New...
    beep1996 beep1996
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Jan 1, 2013

    I tried it failed attempt my knife was dull

    and my parents where in the kitchen so I couldn't get another one it ended up being only hard scratches :/ I carved an S on my lower arm part I was going to spell something :/
    herealways2017 herealways2017
    16-17, F
    Oct 6, 2014

    It was on New Years Eve right

    as the clock struck twelve.
    pebblerin pebblerin
    16-17, F
    Jan 9, 2015

    I Cut My Self Sometimes, No Regrets About It

    I truly really really hate my life so much I just wont to run away. If I run away thell find me , school is hell for me . Im not smart, pretty,cute and averyone thinks im weaird because im the only person who lisons to rock not stuped tecno and crap.my family is not a family, we...
    Snaples123 Snaples123
    Mar 15, 2011

    First Cut

    I had my first cut 2 monthes ago, but I knew I would cut again. But I'm actually starting to cut everyday now since about 3 days ago. I do it on my left leg, 1 inch above my ankle, on the inner side of my legs. So far I have 7 small cuts. I use a normal blade. I started cutting...
    Societyssecret Societyssecret
    16-17, F
    1 Response Oct 11, 2013

    I cut myself for the first time the other day.

    I don't know why exactly. I was having a really bad day and was feeling really alone. And for a moment, while I was cutting, I felt so much better, like I could control what was happening in my life. But now every time I look at my arm, and see the scars I feel even more alone...
    WindowAngle WindowAngle
    18-21, F
    3 Responses May 18, 2014


    It had been a normal day at school today, until a popular girl brought up that I could be a huge nerd. I didn't think much of it, until I got home and my parents were ignoring me. After fighting off tears, I had to fight the urge to cut. I would go for the razor blade we keep in...
    Dailydaisy Dailydaisy
    13-15, F
    1 Response Jan 28, 2013

    Heey~^^! I am here to share my story~ Soo.

    .. I am 16 years old and i cut for first time two weeks ago... ( I've just downloaded the app. I used it before, but i delete my profile.) I did this because of my mother... I am really depressed from five months i think. Like at the beginning I cried every day because of my...
    deleted deleted
    Feb 8, 2016

    Naughty Time

    im bipolar. a few days ago I started my downcycle and started cutting myself for the first time. im cut all over. I love it and cant stop. im not lonely or depressed anymore.
    mromega667 mromega667
    26-30, M
    Oct 2, 2013
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