I Cut Myself

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,373 People

    I'm not going to lie it felt good to run the

    blades over my skin, to feel the pain, to punish myself for failing!
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Nov 29, 2015

    Even though I've some hoe kept it together

    and stayed clean, I realize I manage to find other ways of self-harm. It's almost like there will never be a time where it can stop completely, where the urge will never be there.
    Gemini0619 Gemini0619
    18-21, F
    1 Response Apr 15

    It's funny how stubbing your toe feels like hell

    and is so painful, yet cutting yourself takes away the pain
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Feb 8

    Cutting is an addiction

    and a release for me. When I start cutting, I go for months adding line after line onto my skin. Until death or my salvation, I cling to a last glimpse of that terrible illusion... Hope.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Jan 15

    I cut myself again today its happening more

    and more again this is how the story goes. one is too many and a thousand is never enough. so many cuts so many scars where will I have room for them all?
    thejoker94 thejoker94
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Dec 26, 2015

    I cant do this anymore,

    we come intolife without a choice and they decide not to inform us about how damn hard it is to get through five minutes let alone one whole day. But ive figured it out on my own and I dont want to keep fighting, we all dye in the end, so why rolong the enivitable. But that...
    prothin2016 prothin2016
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jan 25

    Barely even 2 days later,

    and it happens again. Wonderful.
    Snow1353 Snow1353
    18-21, F
    May 25, 2015

    I feel like I have to,

    they're getting deeper and deeper as it progresses… It's ironic because it used to be my coping skill to control my emotions and I thought I could stop, but now it controls me… and I don't know what to do because I know that nobody cares and you can say how wrong I am, but I...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Oct 26, 2015

    Heey~ I'm a new cutter.

    .. like I started cutting month ago. At first it was because of depression and i though i could stop, but now i do it because of pleasure. I want to ask you if you can give me advices about cutting^^ Like i'm cutting with a knife, but i think the cuts aren't deep enough~ I will...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Feb 8

    I'll be a week clean in 3 hours.

    .I don't know if I can make it until then
    PiecesOfPeace PiecesOfPeace
    18-21, F
    4 Responses May 26, 2015

    I'm trying so hard not to right now,

    but I hate myself so much in this moment, I can't really place the reason for it but I just feel like I have no one, I feel like I'm always being criticized or like people leave me even if they pretend they care, trust is a hard thing for me I wish I could trust but I can't, I...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Oct 27, 2015

    I really really want to.

    I want the outside to match the inside.
    reluctantamazon reluctantamazon
    36-40, F
    2 Responses Mar 24, 2015

    I hate myself. I don't

    even know what's going on.
    Anuska23 Anuska23
    22-25, F
    Oct 29, 2015

    Nobody Knows

    I live alone, I work in an ER where I see SI's all the time, My family live minutes from me and its weird how know ones. Sometimes I want blurt out to a nurse in the room "I am a cutter!" but then I know I'll have to stop. Anything can trigger it. If someone doesn't...
    AlwaysHavingIssues AlwaysHavingIssues
    22-25, F
    20 Responses Mar 27, 2008

    One of My Ways to Cope With Depression

    depression has linked to most of my stories, neway.. i started to cut myself abou 3weeks ago, i found it was my only way to cope with depression instead of drinkin or smoking. As smoking and drinkin can be life threatening but superficial cuts are not. I cut my wrists a few...
    xXmissyXx xXmissyXx
    16-17, F
    4 Responses Apr 5, 2007

    I wonder what he will think

    when he sees my scars for the first time.
    WhoseMe WhoseMe
    18-21, F
    1 Response Sep 22, 2015

    I Did It Again.

    I cut myself last night.  Actually I wanted to kill myself.  But, dying wasn't enough, I wanted to suffer.  I always make myself suffer.  I cut myself, not too deep mind the pain is better when it's a shallow cut.  I cut myself with all the knives I could...
    DarkPhoenix DarkPhoenix
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Sep 26, 2007

    Really on edge and I'm sitting here

    contemplating doing this now.
    WhoseMe WhoseMe
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Dec 16, 2015

    It's kinda difficult to explain really.

    It started a long time ago when i was maybe eight or nine. The first time I cut myself was a dare. The cut was small, hardly left a scar. Then stuff happened, and a sorrowful epiphany came, then it became more frequent. However, they were never that deep because I was scared of...
    starphantom starphantom
    18-21, F
    Mar 15

    A Poemm..

    Silver glints Skin parts Red wells Scarlet drips I am at peace with my demons. Tears fall Blood runs White’s soaked Head hung I am ashamed of what I’ve done Lies told Scars hide Scabs peel Demons die I am doing the best I can Smiles faked Kisses true Love hurts Mind...
    Veronica4 Veronica4
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Oct 12, 2011

    I have always had problems with my feelings.

    I have always kept them in a lock box, so when I get a particularly strong emotion, I try to shut down. Normally I can. BUT, it has become apparent to me that this guy I liked seemed to pick the emotions from me. He didn't even know it. We have been friends for four years. I...
    stayingalive20 stayingalive20
    18-21, F
    Feb 23

    First Time Nd Now I Know About "Addiction"

    my group of friends consists of mostly "emo" kids and a few "normal" kids, and my best friend killed himself a few days ago.. we all loved him and are really grieving.. but especially. iv been crying alot and the only reason i didnt cut yet was cuz i was to...
    emogirlnattie emogirlnattie
    16-17, F
    1 Response Jul 22, 2007

    after almost one year of hand free from cutting

    , i cut myself ,, now i hate myself so much , i promised a lot of people that i am not gonna , but i did it :'( ,, og God forgive me forgive me my friends ,, i let u guys down :'(
    tinathefreak tinathefreak
    22-25, F
    1 Response Jan 17, 2014

    Why Cant I Just Stop??

    Today, I cut myself. Again. After I swore to my family and myself that I would not ever do it again. I am probably the youngest person on here. Im 14. Everyone keeps telling me, begging me to stop and it hurts me to see them so hurt by my actions. But the thing is, I CANT stop. I...
    ifeelsoalone ifeelsoalone
    16-17, F
    46 Responses May 19, 2007

    In A Strange Place

    My breasts. I cut them mostly because no one will find out. The only person I worry about finding out is my best friend. We take baths together and get dressed in front of each other. Guess I'll just have to be careful around her. It's such a tender sensitive place to cut. The...
    poetvann poetvann
    18-21, F
    5 Responses May 10, 2013

    EVERYONE Knows.

    i think almost everyone in my grade knows i cut myself. i told one person, who, with permission from me, told another person, who decided to tell about ten people, without permission. so, the chain reactions started. like today, my friend reid wanted to see my wrist, cuz he...
    cokezebno cokezebno
    16-17, F
    5 Responses Sep 26, 2007

    I lost control. I was fed up

    and inatead of wanting to hurt someone very badly I hurt myself. I cut myself all over and kept banging my hand on the wall. I'm done with everything.
    domdotcom domdotcom
    18-21, F
    Feb 24

    I don't force friends to be in my life;

    if they choose to leave, I let them leave, although I would much prefer if they stayed. I would much prefer to have a friend that just stayed in my life, but I won't force anyone. The thing is, my razor is the best friend I've ever had. My razor comforts me when all the emotion...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    3 Responses Jan 25

    Last night I took the blade out of my razor

    and I cut myself. I cut myself behind my elbows and wrists. It's been a long time since I've done this but since I had the boys there are days where I feel like resorting to this.
    AlisonH1974 AlisonH1974
    41-45, F
    1 Response Oct 31, 2015

    The urge is so strong right now.

    Blade ready My mind is unsteady The meds arent working Im grasping onto life Somebody come save me I yearn to feel the blade of the knife. *head in hands*
    missrng missrng
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Apr 3

    I just cut I can't deal .

    . All I do is hurt people . Now I have to hurt me over and over again
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Oct 8, 2015

    My habit began early on in middle school.

    I had accidentally cut myself at first, just one of those freak accidents. It took my emotional pain away... I was able to focus on hiding the accidental cut so that no one would think I did it on purpose. It went unnoticed. I figured that I could get an emotional release and...
    HardTimesOfTristen HardTimesOfTristen
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Jan 17, 2014

    I'm sorry to all this may concern.

    but I'm becoming more and more weak as it goes on. it used to take forever for me to get a cut, but now it's a matter if seconds. my legs, my arms, all in a matter of one night. please understand those who care. I truly love you guys and hope for your life to get better. please...
    ToukaKirishima ToukaKirishima
    13-15, F
    1 Response Oct 27, 2015
    Wheresmywayout Wheresmywayout
    18-21, F
    5 Responses Jan 17

    I cut myself. It feels like I've always cut

    myself. I always have, since I was thirteen. Sometimes I would go months or even years without it. It always comes back. I always bring it back. I've had a few stints in therapy, some cutting related and some not....and for some reason it's impossible for me to talk about...
    tangledx22 tangledx22
    22-25, F
    1 Response Mar 18

    Lately it's the only thing

    that keeps me sane. I don't why it does though.
    LoveisBeautiful5013 LoveisBeautiful5013
    18-21, F
    1 Response Feb 11

    Tomorrow will be my fifth month free,

    but...*sigh* everyday, every minute is a battle, i wish i could, i have plenty of things to use...but...i dont know, not worth it? too much to loose? dont want to go on the adult side of the mental hospital? will most likely get kicked out if i do? too many reasons. i just wish...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    3 Responses Sep 4, 2015

    Not Enough to Be An Addiction; Too Much to Be Just a Habit...

    Twenty minutes ago, I sneaked out of my dorm room, clutching a blood soaked wad of tissues, ran to the bathroom wrapped it in more tissue and dumped it in the trash, then with the furtiveness of a junkie, washed as much of the blood that wasn't congealed off of my arm and ran...
    JadedNihilist JadedNihilist
    18-21, F
    34 Responses Dec 10, 2007

    2 Nights Ago

    I really wanted to cut.. the knife was right on my bereau but i didnt do it.. i decided to write 2 poems and after writing the urge went away i am very proud of this and thought i should share =]
    NeverBeenKissed93 NeverBeenKissed93
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Jan 17, 2011
    kimberlykhaos kimberlykhaos
    22-25, F
    Dec 8, 2014

    The deep cuts are the most painful

    but bring the best feeling for me. Thing is, the deeper the cuts, yes the deeper the release but the deeper and more visible the scars when they heal. Trust me, speaking from a current cutter since the age of 15, the thing I regret most is cutting on my forearms when I was a...
    TheHogwartzJanitor TheHogwartzJanitor
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Sep 19, 2015

    I stopped. I don't think it's a good thing to do

    but I know it can be hard to stop.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Sep 16, 2015

    What Is Going On ?

    I am a very bad cutter I am now 13 and have been cutting since I was 10 I didn't know what it was back then but I do now and I do it.. a lot,It has been a few months and my cuts are gone and just bad scars on my body but.... They are like .. coming back ? I don't know how to...
    Deadlylovely13 Deadlylovely13
    70+
    2 Responses Oct 27, 2013

    Confessions

    (this might be long and boring being I have a few things on my mind right now (and my english might be a little fishy at times, sry) I just cut myself again, after swearing to myself that I wouldn't. I just can't stop. Well.. sometimes it can be enough to just press the knife to...
    thomasis thomasis
    22-25, M
    3 Responses Apr 15, 2007

    I relapsed today. I managed to stop doing it

    for a good few months, but now I've broken any progress and I just feel stupid that I've been so weak. Which accordingly makes me want to do it even more. I wish I could change the way my mind works.
    sleeperstream sleeperstream
    26-30, M
    Feb 13

    I had been doing so well almost a month clean

    but now there is blood running down my arm...
    rokrchik1211 rokrchik1211
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Nov 23, 2015

    It's been on my mind a lot lately it's always

    be a relief to stress and anxiety but I'm scared the man in my life will see and blame himself when it's everything but him. He hasn't seen the scars but new cuts will send him over the edge. But it's still running through my mind non stop. My messed up head is going through...
    WhoseMe WhoseMe
    18-21, F
    Nov 19, 2015

    I've been cutting since age 11.

    I'm 19 now. I have bipolar depression and anxiety so that has something to do with it. I was bullied when I was 11 and 12 so that's what started my urges to cut. I used to use a safety pin. It's funny looking back and seeing myself with a safety pin. I was such an amateur...
    AuroraPrism AuroraPrism
    18-21, F
    4 Responses Dec 31, 2015

    I havent cut myself in about 10 years.

    Tonight something triggered me to actually do it again. I went in the kitchen, got a razor and dragged it across my skin. I felt the rush i once did. I wanted to do it again, then i became ashamed that i relapsed.
    missrng missrng
    26-30, F
    1 Response Mar 19

    I constantly want to cry,

    I feel real pains in my chest from sadness and from being on edge and extremely anxious all the time, I don't hav Energy or motivation to do simple tasks or talk to people, unless I make everything stop and cut off all feelings, the day before yesterday was the last time I cut...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    3 Responses Dec 24, 2015

    I'm going through a rough time

    and I've been in cair for nearly 6 years and I've been through a lot of traumatic experiences. But the thing is all I am is a person a teenager, there are thousands out there but do I matter. No I don't I've lost my boyfriend because he's moved away and there's no way of going...
    Leiahcollins Leiahcollins
    18-21
    1 Response Mar 20

    Cut And Bleed. (possibly Trigerring)

    I don't cut myself anymore but I DO still have urges I just couldn't find a current group I have that this would fit under. this is what cutting is for me.  I feel the urge to cut my skin and let the blood flow and as I watch a calmness and state, of focus allows me...
    BelleRaven BelleRaven
    18-21, F
    5 Responses Apr 1, 2010

    I was 4 days clean and I just did it.

    I don't even know why, literally nothing happened to me. I just saw my blades and felt the urge. I feel like I've wasted my guys time, he has listened to me crying for hours to try to get me to stop and I just let him down. And myself. And everyone. I feel like such a failure, I...
    anon1995 anon1995
    18-21, F
    4 Responses Mar 8, 2014

    I have to cut again I don't want to

    but I have to, feelings are coming back and I can't take it
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Nov 6, 2015

    I'd like to believe in the fairy tales

    that it all gets better, but I'm no child.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Jan 10
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