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I Cut Myself

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,380 People

    Not because I hate myself

    or because I want to die but because I desperately want to live.
    anonomous435 anonomous435 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 22, 2015

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    Not Enough to Be An Addiction; Too Much to Be Just a Habit...

    Twenty minutes ago, I sneaked out of my dorm room, clutching a blood soaked wad of tissues, ran to the bathroom wrapped it in more tissue and dumped it in the trash, then with the furtiveness of a junkie, washed as much of the blood that wasn't congealed off of my arm and ran...
    JadedNihilist JadedNihilist 18-21, F 34 Responses Dec 10, 2007

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    I'm trying so hard not to right now,

    but I hate myself so much in this moment, I can't really place the reason for it but I just feel like I have no one, I feel like I'm always being criticized or like people leave me even if they pretend they care, trust is a hard thing for me I wish I could trust but I can't, I...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Oct 27, 2015

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    I cant do this anymore,

    we come intolife without a choice and they decide not to inform us about how damn hard it is to get through five minutes let alone one whole day. But ive figured it out on my own and I dont want to keep fighting, we all dye in the end, so why rolong the enivitable. But that...
    prothin2016 prothin2016 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 25

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    A Poemm..

    Silver glints Skin parts Red wells Scarlet drips I am at peace with my demons. Tears fall Blood runs White’s soaked Head hung I am ashamed of what I’ve done Lies told Scars hide Scabs peel Demons die I am doing the best I can Smiles faked Kisses true Love hurts Mind...
    Veronica4 Veronica4 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 12, 2011

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    Confessions

    (this might be long and boring being I have a few things on my mind right now (and my english might be a little fishy at times, sry) I just cut myself again, after swearing to myself that I wouldn't. I just can't stop. Well.. sometimes it can be enough to just press the knife to...
    thomasis thomasis 18-21, M 3 Responses Apr 15, 2007

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    I've tried so hard to stop.

    I've spent so many nights sitting around, holding the razor blade debating on whether or not to do it. I dont do it because I hate myself. I dont do it because Im suicidal. After years of cutting, it's become something I want to do. Sounds crazy, I know. I feel better when I do...
    SimplyEm SimplyEm 22-25, F 2 Responses Jul 10, 2015

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    I Did It Again.

    I cut myself last night.  Actually I wanted to kill myself.  But, dying wasn't enough, I wanted to suffer.  I always make myself suffer.  I cut myself, not too deep mind the pain is better when it's a shallow cut.  I cut myself with all the knives I could...
    DarkPhoenix DarkPhoenix 31-35, F 2 Responses Sep 26, 2007

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    I haven't cut myself in over three years.

    tonight i cut myself. i don't know what has changed.
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Oct 22, 2015

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    Nobody Knows

    I live alone, I work in an ER where I see SI's all the time, My family live minutes from me and its weird how know ones. Sometimes I want blurt out to a nurse in the room "I am a cutter!" but then I know I'll have to stop. Anything can trigger it. If someone doesn't...
    AlwaysHavingIssues AlwaysHavingIssues 22-25, F 20 Responses Mar 27, 2008

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    Really on edge and I'm sitting here

    contemplating doing this now.
    WhoseMe WhoseMe 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 16, 2015

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    Last night I took the blade out of my razor

    and I cut myself. I cut myself behind my elbows and wrists. It's been a long time since I've done this but since I had the boys there are days where I feel like resorting to this.
    AlisonH1974 AlisonH1974 41-45, F 1 Response Oct 31, 2015

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    after almost one year of hand free from cutting

    , i cut myself ,, now i hate myself so much , i promised a lot of people that i am not gonna , but i did it :'( ,, og God forgive me forgive me my friends ,, i let u guys down :'(
    tinathefreak tinathefreak 22-25, F 1 Response Jan 17, 2014

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    It's been on my mind a lot lately it's always

    be a relief to stress and anxiety but I'm scared the man in my life will see and blame himself when it's everything but him. He hasn't seen the scars but new cuts will send him over the edge. But it's still running through my mind non stop. My messed up head is going through...
    WhoseMe WhoseMe 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 19, 2015

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    I'm sorry to all this may concern.

    but I'm becoming more and more weak as it goes on. it used to take forever for me to get a cut, but now it's a matter if seconds. my legs, my arms, all in a matter of one night. please understand those who care. I truly love you guys and hope for your life to get better. please...
    ToukaKirishima ToukaKirishima 13-15, F 1 Response Oct 27, 2015

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    I have to cut again I don't want to

    but I have to, feelings are coming back and I can't take it
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Nov 6, 2015

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    Barely even 2 days later,

    and it happens again. Wonderful.
    Snow1353 Snow1353 18-21, F May 25, 2015

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    It's funny how stubbing your toe feels like hell

    and is so painful, yet cutting yourself takes away the pain
    RelapsedandDepressed RelapsedandDepressed 18-21, M 5 days ago

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    i like it and it feels good it takes all the

    stress a way i will never stop
    jamal1986 jamal1986 26-30, M a week ago

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    Heey~ I'm a new cutter.

    .. like I started cutting month ago. At first it was because of depression and i though i could stop, but now i do it because of pleasure. I want to ask you if you can give me advices about cutting^^ Like i'm cutting with a knife, but i think the cuts aren't deep enough~ I will...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    I had been doing so well almost a month clean

    but now there is blood running down my arm...
    rokrchik1211 rokrchik1211 22-25, F 3 Responses Nov 23, 2015

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    I stopped. I don't think it's a good thing to do

    but I know it can be hard to stop.
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Sep 16, 2015

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    i cut myself whenever am angry

    or feel helpless coz I think its the best way to get rid of it sometines I do it frequently
    atulraaj atulraaj 22-25, M 1 Response Oct 26, 2015

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    Cut And Bleed. (possibly Trigerring)

    I don't cut myself anymore but I DO still have urges I just couldn't find a current group I have that this would fit under. this is what cutting is for me.  I feel the urge to cut my skin and let the blood flow and as I watch a calmness and state, of focus allows me...
    BelleRaven BelleRaven 18-21, F 5 Responses Apr 1, 2010

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    I feel like I have to,

    they're getting deeper and deeper as it progresses… It's ironic because it used to be my coping skill to control my emotions and I thought I could stop, but now it controls me… and I don't know what to do because I know that nobody cares and you can say how wrong I am, but I...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Oct 26, 2015

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    I don't force friends to be in my life;

    if they choose to leave, I let them leave, although I would much prefer if they stayed. I would much prefer to have a friend that just stayed in my life, but I won't force anyone. The thing is, my razor is the best friend I've ever had. My razor comforts me when all the emotion...
    Whobody Whobody 18-21, M 3 Responses Jan 25

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    I've been feeling a little suicidal

    so I went to the counseling center. They can't see me for two weeks. So I cut again and it scares me.
    anonomous435 anonomous435 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 22, 2015

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    Tomorrow will be my fifth month free,

    but...*sigh* everyday, every minute is a battle, i wish i could, i have plenty of things to use...but...i dont know, not worth it? too much to loose? dont want to go on the adult side of the mental hospital? will most likely get kicked out if i do? too many reasons. i just wish...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Sep 4, 2015

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    I just cut I can't deal .

    . All I do is hurt people . Now I have to hurt me over and over again
    deleted deleted 26-30 Oct 8, 2015

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    Wheresmywayout Wheresmywayout 18-21, F 4 Responses Jan 17

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    I hate myself. I don't

    even know what's going on.
    Anuska23 Anuska23 22-25, F Oct 29, 2015

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    Cutting is an addiction

    and a release for me. When I start cutting, I go for months adding line after line onto my skin. Until death or my salvation, I cling to a last glimpse of that terrible illusion... Hope.
    RelapsedandDepressed RelapsedandDepressed 18-21, M 1 Response Jan 15

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    I really really want to.

    I want the outside to match the inside.
    reluctantamazon reluctantamazon 36-40, F 2 Responses Mar 24, 2015

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    One of My Ways to Cope With Depression

    depression has linked to most of my stories, neway.. i started to cut myself abou 3weeks ago, i found it was my only way to cope with depression instead of drinkin or smoking. As smoking and drinkin can be life threatening but superficial cuts are not. I cut my wrists a few...
    xXmissyXx xXmissyXx 16-17, F 4 Responses Apr 5, 2007

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    I've been cutting since age 11.

    I'm 19 now. I have bipolar depression and anxiety so that has something to do with it. I was bullied when I was 11 and 12 so that's what started my urges to cut. I used to use a safety pin. It's funny looking back and seeing myself with a safety pin. I was such an amateur...
    AuroraPrism AuroraPrism 18-21, F 5 Responses Dec 31, 2015

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    I'd like to believe in the fairy tales

    that it all gets better, but I'm no child.
    Whobody Whobody 18-21, M Jan 10

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    Bracing myself as I prepare to stop the

    addiction. Threw away my razor blades.. Any advice on stay strong would be greatly appreciated
    SimplyEm SimplyEm 22-25, F 3 Responses Nov 22, 2015

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    Lately it's the only thing

    that keeps me sane. I don't why it does though.
    LoveisBeautiful5013 LoveisBeautiful5013 18-21, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    I relapsed today. I managed to stop doing it

    for a good few months, but now I've broken any progress and I just feel stupid that I've been so weak. Which accordingly makes me want to do it even more. I wish I could change the way my mind works.
    sleeperstream sleeperstream 26-30, M 6 hrs ago

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    I'll be a week clean in 3 hours.

    .I don't know if I can make it until then
    PiecesOfPeace PiecesOfPeace 18-21, F 4 Responses May 26, 2015

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    The deep cuts are the most painful

    but bring the best feeling for me. Thing is, the deeper the cuts, yes the deeper the release but the deeper and more visible the scars when they heal. Trust me, speaking from a current cutter since the age of 15, the thing I regret most is cutting on my forearms when I was a...
    TheHogwartzJanitor TheHogwartzJanitor 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 19, 2015

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    In A Strange Place

    My breasts. I cut them mostly because no one will find out. The only person I worry about finding out is my best friend. We take baths together and get dressed in front of each other. Guess I'll just have to be careful around her. It's such a tender sensitive place to cut. The...
    poetvann poetvann 18-21, F 5 Responses May 10, 2013

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    kimberlykhaos kimberlykhaos 22-25, F Dec 8, 2014

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    Gahh, I gave in. It was

    such a relief though..didn't even hurt..
    SimplyEm SimplyEm 22-25, F 1 Response Jan 29

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    I cut myself again today its happening more

    and more again this is how the story goes. one is too many and a thousand is never enough. so many cuts so many scars where will I have room for them all?
    thejoker94 thejoker94 22-25, F 2 Responses Dec 26, 2015

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