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I Deal With Flashbacks and Triggers

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 297 People

    I just want to curl up in bed with my teddy bear

    and sleep all day long. I'm tired of the ups and downs and instability. I just want to close my eyes and not feel everything so deeply, or feel anything at all. That would be lovely. I think the best thing though, would be to have my memories erased and all of the bad things...
    treasureforever treasureforever 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 4, 2014

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    Yesterday, totally drunk,

    I experienced flashback, not my first but the most intensive ever… I felt the hands holding me, touching me, I remembered the pain, felt like it was happening at the moment… So real… It was so terrible to me I just thrown up… And I know, I remember, I was whispering his...
    Mellangela Mellangela 26-30, F Apr 20, 2014

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    These are some of my triggers: •The video

    game 'Skyrim' •'Star Wars' (or anything associated with it) •Breathing or being kissed on or around my neck •Sometimes being f*ngered will REALLY trigger me •S*x in general is triggering although not as bad as it once was... It is weird, it is usually hard for me...
    ChantelSurvived ChantelSurvived 22-25, F 2 Responses Sep 19, 2014

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    I Can't Use Buses Anymore

    I can't sit further back on a bus or I start crying and freaking our as I feel trapped and too surrounded by people... but last time I sat at the front and old man got on and started to yell at me as I was sitting in a priority seat and wasn't "old or disabled", I...
    shadowlight shadowlight 22-25, F 1 Response Aug 9, 2009

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    I had the scariest flashbacks last night.

    As soon as they started it felt as if I was trying to escape my body. It felt as if my mind was trying to bring me somewhere else. I saw things I have never seen before. My bf pinned me down to kiss to me (which felt great at first) but then out of no where...I didn't see my bf...
    jackjack600 jackjack600 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 29, 2014

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    We are lying on the ground be choked you look

    at me I look at yo tears come to your eyes I tell you not to cry they beat me bloody an make you watch put us back in the dog box you confetti me till I sleep clean me up wipe my tears away you kept me strong to help you the next day I miss you Brian and when you left me bye...
    Ripjr Ripjr 18-21, M 1 Response Sep 8, 2014

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    I've been having recurring nightmares about the

    day I was raped... Its gotten so bad I have a phobia of sleeping and I get anxiety attacks... I've been dealing with this for 8 years but it's gotten really bad in the past few months... I don't know what to do anymore... I've tried taking my life but I'm too much a coward...
    EbbyLeve EbbyLeve 16-17, F 2 Responses Nov 22, 2014

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    Caused By Abuse

    My flashbacks are usually just triggered whenever someone directs their anger at me. While it's never happened, I know I'd also get one if someone grabbed my arms just under the shoulders with both hands. I'm afraid of that happening at school or somewhere else in public because...
    chococat159 chococat159 18-21 Jun 3, 2011

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    We were just kids I'm sorry you were my friend

    I'm so sorry what we had to do I tried killing myself to I didn't die I wish I was you we were just kids we were made to do that **** forced bye people who were meant to love but had a corrupt mind and that ****** us up the videos are still out there I found them again they make...
    Ripjr Ripjr 18-21, M 1 Response Sep 8, 2014

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    Tonight... Second night in a row without sleep.

    .. Cause in the moment I fall asleep he comes to me, again and again. can't get rid of it these days, so I hope just write it down will help. Hope I would eventually take a rest tonight.
    Mellangela Mellangela 26-30, F 1 Response Jul 10, 2014

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    I deal with flashbacks,

    and triggers. Its something I deal with on a weekly basis. I also suffer from severe nightmares. Sometimes they are easy to work through, other times, no so much. Tonight, I expressed something about myself on Fetlife. I stumbled upon a group, about rape, saying how its not as...
    NYSlilAngel NYSlilAngel 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 16, 2014

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    I really only have it

    when I think about when I was bullied in school. I have recently been thinking about someone that I am no longer with. Today I was yelling on the floor " get off or me" again and I was thinking about him and me getting physical. I feel sick just thinking about him. I keep...
    jellyrolls34 jellyrolls34 18-21, F Jan 30

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    In Certain Situations

    I was molested for years as a child and raped numerous times as an adult. I believe this is why I have flashbacks of my abuse, and being intimate in certain ways triggers an anxiety/panic attack.I don't like for anyone to touch my face, for ANY reason. I don't like for my hands...
    SpiritOfTheRabbit SpiritOfTheRabbit 31-35, F May 20, 2011

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    Can't Handle Yelling Or Touching...

    Today I had a doctors appointment but on the way I went to the opticians to see if I could get some glasses or contacts (I broke my contacts and we are having EXTREME money issues right now but we managed to scrape together £30) I explained the situration to...
    shadowlight shadowlight 22-25, F 6 Responses Aug 11, 2009

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    Will They Ever Stop....

    Lately I have been suffering from severe triggers. Sometimes the smallest thing can set me off, and ruin my whole day, and make a good day, turn into a really bad day :( I hate when that happens. I give anything to not have to deal with them anymore. I have been...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Aug 27, 2009

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    Often

    I often deal with flashbacks from when I was raped. I look at any man on the street as a potential rapist and I see the men walking up to me while my mouth was being covered... I can't even be around some of my really good guy friends...I've tried and I just can't do it. Every...
    FeelingLikeACloud FeelingLikeACloud 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 16, 2011

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    At This Time of Year In Particular

    I repressed a great deal of the experiences I suffered as a child.  I thought it was a sign of strength to repress them and get on with life, rather than deal with them or think of them.  Inevitably that leads only to a situation in which one small thing...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Dec 12, 2008

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    Having the worst time right now.

    Smelling beer the taste of crushed pills in my mouth the pain in my stomach can't sleep every time I close my eyes I see there faces the sound of all of them laughing and screaming in my head
    Ripjr Ripjr 18-21, M Oct 29, 2014

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    I was quite triggered earlier today

    and I am having a hard time moving past it. I know what I need to do but my mind fights me from doing it! I need some advice. I was triggered by an online friend. I would say we are pretty close friends. For the most part he is kind, caring, supportive and fun. One thing...
    dreshany dreshany 41-45, F 12 Responses Dec 7, 2014

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    I will be having a good time

    and then all of a sudden I will have a flashback. It's terrifying and exhausting to deal with. I see his face and hear his voice. He gets louder and then everything goes blank. I can't speak at all and thus can't yell for help. I feel tapped in my own body. My heart races and...
    jackjack600 jackjack600 18-21, F Aug 8, 2014

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    The Few Most Flashbacks I Get Quite Often...From What Happened To Me In May 2011

    May, 7th 2011 The night before Mother's Day I was kiddnapped off the street by 2 guys, then the other guy as well, the one they sold me to. I was sold around by him. Anyways I get these flashbacks from these special triggers or without them once in awhile unexpectedly, I used to...
    itsjustbrit itsjustbrit 18-21, F 4 Responses Oct 6, 2013

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    Mostly Music

    What bothers me most and brings me to my bad place and personal hell is music...from 1973-1977.I also don't like plastic jack-o-lanterns.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Dec 17, 2011

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    Someone called me sweetie

    and put their hand on my shoulder today... I forgot where I was and who I was with, I just started shaking and yelling at them to stop, I was so scared...
    lostgirl2001 lostgirl2001 13-15, F Jan 24

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    I'm so tired of the flashbacks.

    ..just please make them stop! ...please I feel as if they are gonna be here all day :(
    jackjack600 jackjack600 18-21, F Oct 20, 2014

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    A couple of months ago I woke up from a

    nightmare where I was being attacked. I don't want to go in to detail, but I woke up as my left arm was in the air about to hit the wall next to my bed. It left a dent through the blanket. Now I moved everything I could away from my bad so I don't accidentally hurt myself. I...
    dontknowmylife dontknowmylife 18-21, M 1 Response Nov 20, 2014

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    Yeah

    I got raped as a kid I am not going to go into detail but I literally can remember his face and exactly what he did. I get flashbacks on this at least a few times a week and it has been much worse of late. I also remember many other things, getting made fun of. And I remember me...
    iminpain iminpain 18-21, M 3 Responses Jan 14, 2010

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    The One I Called 'grandma'

    Most of my flashbacks are triggered when I see stairs or basements, sometimes when my friends look at me in an odd way, but never when someone is angry. My abuse was hidden and I never, ever speak of it. Maryanne(mom's mom) abused me between the ages of 12 months  and ten years...
    TurnThePaige TurnThePaige 18-21, F Aug 8, 2011

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    How is it that I will be enjoying myself 100%

    and then out of no where I will have a flashback. It is extremely frustrating and I hate seeing how it effects the ones who love me. I hate that they have to live with it too. I don't want to put that stress on them :/ Although this happens...I have someone that helps me...
    jackjack600 jackjack600 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 22, 2014

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    About a week ago I was snuggling my fiancé.

    I am usually big spoon so that means his back is too me. He asked if I could scratch his back for him because it itched. I did for a few seconds but then stopped. It triggered me really badly. I didn't expect it too. I've scratched his back tons of times. But I couldn't handle...
    Jeradactyl Jeradactyl 22-25, F 2 Responses Nov 22, 2014

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    Been not well. Have such intense feelings of

    disgust to the point where I want and need to just claw my skin off. It feels like I am going to go absolutely insane. I was driving with my boyfriend last night and started to get these emotions and feelings and body pains that seemingly came from 'nowhere'. I had to pull over...
    ChantelSurvived ChantelSurvived 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 21, 2014

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    Sometimes I see someone

    who looks the same as the people in my bad memories and my whole body freezes for a few seconds before I realize I was wrong. Or if some say "i do what I want." I fladh back to my friend saying that after I begged him to stop self harming after he carved an ex girlfriends name...
    SkyliteRouge SkyliteRouge 18-21, F May 7, 2014

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    Almost every night these days he`s coming to me,

    again and again... It`s everytime the same... I wake up in the middle of the night and as I open my eyes I can almost see him... He`s there, standing next to my bed, staring at me... And I know what is coming... scared to death as I know he`s going to hurt me again... And I`m...
    Mellangela Mellangela 26-30, F 4 Responses Jun 20, 2014

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    Always Have....

    I have always suffered from severe triggers and flashbacks... Sometimes the smallest thing can set me off, and ruin my whole day, and make a good day, turn into a really bad day :( I hate when that happens. I give anything to not have to deal with them anymore.I have...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Jan 14, 2010

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