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I Died A Long Time Ago

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 638 People

    Living for others proves it.

    Dead is ok because gone deprives many of what my mind heals.
    converted converted 46-50, M Feb 25

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    The crucial moment was around the age of 8-12,

    the worst time of my childhood that has traumatized me more than anything else. It was a period of constant drunken fights between my mother and her boyfriend, the screaming, throwing things...alternated with peaceful, normal, loving times. At these times the hopes of a child...
    whoslife whoslife 31-35, F Feb 1

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    Well Sorta.

    There are only a few times where I feel alive. At night, Driving Being around my little sister Listening to Music Showering. Yup... Thats all I have to say.
    Godzillaisdamn Godzillaisdamn 16-17, F 2 Responses Jun 19, 2011

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    Not So Good

    So after seeing mu counsellor and calling my parents I was feeling kinda good until my mum told me that her and dad are separating.. back to the drawing board, ive not stopped crying...
    completleyconfused2 completleyconfused2 31-35, F 1 Response May 31, 2011

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    Dead Inside

    ive let myself be in situations i know arnt good for me i stay and then i leave but im in this relationship thats gone on for 3 years, and thats 3 years of lying and drugs name calling and alcohol even physical abuse, I a bipolar and everything is soo intense for me, everyday i...
    HurtnUsed HurtnUsed 18-21, F Apr 28, 2011

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    She asked why I was breathing

    so heavily. I wasn't.
    Fuckincuntyshitpricktwat Fuckincuntyshitpricktwat 16-17, M Jun 27

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    You Just Went Away... You Just Left.

    You were never really here, never really availableYou fell out of practice, you havent loved me in so longWe were just a family photo for you to show aroundTo make it seem that we were all normalYou would parade around this false idea of whatYou wanted people to see you asYou had...
    Shawnnas Shawnnas 22-25, F Jun 9, 2012

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    On my 17th birthday, my boyfriend of many

    months decided he wished to no longer be a couple. He informed me that he had been seeing his former girlfriend the entire time and that I was a 'side project'. He took my virginity and didn't even care. Unable to cope, mentally, with the amount of trauma he put me through, I...
    kaleidoscopekay kaleidoscopekay 16-17, F 5 Responses Jun 16

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    Just because I'm breathing

    and eating doesn't mean I'm alive. I was killed long time ago.. Just a walking death now!
    Reena12 Reena12 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 9

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    I Wish You Were Here

      March 3, 1993, my older sister died and she took half my heart and soul with her. She was, like any typical oldest child in a Hispanic family, a mother, guide, best friend, and crime partner to me.  She taught me to read, and write before I ever entered school. She...
    ImUrWILDESTDrm ImUrWILDESTDrm 36-40, F 3 Responses Nov 27, 2009

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    Mum Said I Nearly Died At 3 Months Of Age

    many times she held me by my feet over a croup lamp while I was chocking and coughing with whooping cough .. sometimes I wonder did I died then... or was it when werner died ... I felt a weird pain and I collapsed we had just moved in to a house and I still remember the day my...
    czaristacrystals czaristacrystals 36-40, F 2 Responses Jun 10, 2012

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    False

    I never started living.
    XCRevolution XCRevolution 18-21, F 4 Responses Dec 7, 2009

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    A New Me Every Day

    Every day we die, and are a different person the next.  The more we try to hold onto the person who we were in the past, the more dead we are in the moment.  And the moments we are alive are too precious to waste being dead.  :)
    Drakkonvulfish Drakkonvulfish 16-17, F 5 Responses Jan 1, 2010

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    How to kill yourself without pain ?

    PLEASE DO NOT WRITE THAT I SHOULDN'T KILL MY SELF BECAUSE LIFE IS "INTERESTING" "FULL OF JOY" AND... YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN ! Here is why I am going to do that because I have serious family problems and according to many online quiz things I have deep depression ! Life has just...
    Katherine598 Katherine598 16-17, F 3 Responses Apr 29

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    I use to be dying to live -

    now I'm living to die. I use to have a spark in me but now it's dead and gone. Life around me isn't the same. I may be still on this earth but my soul has died and left my body. There is nothing left but an empty shell
    thecatsmeow27 thecatsmeow27 22-25, F Feb 23

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    Roberta 2

    Roberta 2 As many of you know from past post we were different then other kids our own ages. I think sometimes even in our own time we did not belong. Think part of the problem of not being able to go on with my life and the loss of Roberta is how her death happened and it...
    rickibrat2 rickibrat2 61-65, M May 31, 2011

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    We Were Never Your Run Of The Mill Kids

    We were never your run of the mill kids Many years ago I was told the only fight Roberta, even had with her mother was about me, and whether her mother would tell me the truth or did Roberta have to do it. I think the closer it came to that weekend the more she may have...
    rickibrat2 rickibrat2 61-65, M May 31, 2011

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    Numb

    I'm tired of being what you want me to beFeeling so faithless, lost under the surfaceI don't know what you're expecting of mePut under the pressure of walking in your shoes(Caught in the undertow just caught in the undertow)Every step that I take is another mistake to you(Caught...
    completleyconfused2 completleyconfused2 31-35, F Aug 19, 2011

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    Never Ending Good Bye

    The last kiss Think it was about 10 am on a Saturday morning as we ate breakfast with each other, and mike and his wife had joined us for breakfast at a little teas shop in Tokyo not far from where we would take public transportation to the airport then back in to Indian country...
    rickibrat2 rickibrat2 61-65, M May 31, 2011

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    Dead Like Her

    Died a long time ago: I'm not talking about past lives, I am talking about tragedy and despair. The type that warps you and turns you into an abyss of darkness - the edges of which are sheer and seem impossible to climb out of. I died a thousand deaths when my wife was killed...
    MichaelValentine MichaelValentine 41-45, M 3 Responses Nov 14, 2009

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    I Put Me To Sleep 15 Or More Years Ago Just After I Was Bashed In The City

    I planned the music for my funeral even "deep peace" celtic song. I laid to rest a broken little girl and a broken woman inside me... in reality I she was gone and long long long forgotten - I planned by gravestone "here is buried the cvnt that can't" I just don't want the...
    czaristacrystals czaristacrystals 36-40, F May 30, 2011

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    Is It Wrong................................

    Is it wrong to want to escape . To bleed from slits that I make? To want to want to shoot up. Puff out my problems and if i do Do i become my Mom or my Dad. And all the disappointments? Please i need answers silence is defeaning yet noise is too. So I do not care. Its up to you...
    Anto815 Anto815 46-50, F Sep 25, 2011

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    Don't Ask If You Don't Want Answers...

    it hurts when my father asks what happened to his little girl.
    rainingnightmares rainingnightmares 13-15 Jul 26, 2010

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    I will die when I turn 18

    and become and entirely new man/ goodbye to my family for I am dead and have moved on/
    JDcent JDcent 13-15, M 1 Response Jun 17

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    pardz pardz 22-25, M 6 Responses May 21

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    I honestly did die. I slit

    both my wrists and was rushed to the ER. I was pronounced dead for 3 minutes. why didn't he let me die!?
    MrFoe MrFoe 13-15, M 1 Response May 12

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    The Old Larry Is Dead They May Have Been Able To Bring Me Back But I Still Feel Dead

    Nine years ago I had a seizure and it lasted long enough to make me weak enough to so when I would wake up I died but the paramedics where there and were able to bring me back and the girl I was in love with was there when I died and now she is with someone else and I moved on...
    angelus1988 angelus1988 22-25, M 1 Response May 30, 2011

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    Jungle46 Jungle46 46-50, F 2 Responses Feb 25

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    Looking For An Answer...............................................

                  I just have a few a few questions to ask...............................What do you do when no matter what happens your life just feels totally empty? Who can i talk to and disclose my innerimost suicidal thoughts to if i................dont feel comfortable...
    Anto815 Anto815 46-50, F 2 Responses Sep 25, 2011

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    Way back. When I started rap I killed the nice

    Marshall. Now it's all Rap, lyrics, and Reputation. And I killed the Early Thin Shadow. So I've died a while back because I'm back and I'm taking out bullies through my music.
    ThinShadow ThinShadow 18-21, M Mar 11

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    Felt As If I Had Died... So Many Do

    Looking back at my life i can now say i lived for everyone else be me! I gave up all my dreams to please others who really never cared as long as they controlled me. I truly feel i had die  many times over, each time i gave up on something i really wanted in life, for a...
    tennesseecountrygirl tennesseecountrygirl 46-50, F 1 Response Apr 8, 2010

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    Just A Corpse That Walks

    I'm not alive just because I breath. I'm just a cold, lifeless body with no purpose, no feeling of love or care, and no love to give back. They say people like me wear a mask, and no one can see the pain in their eyes because they hide it. In my case, that's not true. The reason...
    DewDropsontheGrass DewDropsontheGrass 13-15, F 2 Responses May 15, 2013

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    I Died, Became God, Ran Away, N Now What?

    I started to see colors connecting people's brains and i thought i could read minds. I told this to the doctors and then I thought I told a secret I wasnt suppost to. So i thought God killed me and sent me to hell. my parents took me to the emergency room 4 times but we didnt...
    hsee hsee 18-21 Apr 4, 2011

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    I Am Dead, And I Just Discovered It

    In the year 2011 I have died. I was 15 years old at the time. My death was in accident. Today I just realized that I'm dead. C'mon on now. The proof is there. I have not aged a day.My death was caused by a friend. He put me into this choke hold or something, you how we test...
    Brandon15shawana Brandon15shawana 16-17, M 3 Responses Jan 4, 2013

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    Tonight I welcome the shadows to cover the

    empty the shell because this time it's forreal, no more trying to overdose on pills but, this I will cut away the veins let the life fall like stream from this main vein, I don't mind that much pain, I just want to slip away from this place of longsuffering.
    BlueBird1200 BlueBird1200 18-21, M 1 Response Mar 6

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    Hey, im new to all of this but uh, i have been feeling so worthless lately, i have no one to talk to and my life is a mess. its one big fight after another. and im just very tired...
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    I am an only child. I was always close to my parents, so much so that my dad asked me to " wait to marry until he is dead". My mother died a year ago. I rebuilt my life. My dad...
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    He died of suffocation, during an epileptic seizure. It was sudden and unexpected and all the light went out of my world for a very long time. I will never tell anyone again...
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    kelsiedoran kelsiedoran 18-21, F 3 Responses Jul 3

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    Who doesnt .. Ive learned so much tho by mistakes but yup still would go back in time i guess i would wana start over back in 8th grade & the first thing would be hug my dad & best...
    missyluvsmissy4me missyluvsmissy4me 41-45, F 3 Responses Jul 13

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