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I Differ With the I Must Obey My Husband Group

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 245 People

    Me

    Obey your husband????? I don't think so, I bring in the bigger paycheck, clean this house and pay all the bills,
    Parsley17 Parsley17 46-50, F 3 Responses Apr 4, 2012

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    This Guy's Opinion...

    In my opinion, unless it's part of a game you're playing, in which case, it's more than ok, but neither spouse should have to completely obey the other one.
    drcynic drcynic 26-30, M 5 Responses Dec 7, 2008

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    Old Fashioned Hubby

    I'm married to an old fashioned man who still wants to think the man makes all the decisions and the woman carries them out. Now I said he 'still wants to think', because he knows , or should, that our house doesn't run that way. This is a second marriage for both of us, and my...
    loyd loyd 51-55, F 6 Responses Jul 8, 2008

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    Just Like Any Other Friend

    I adore my husband, trust him and respect him but he married me because I wasn't a mindless drone.  He loved my opinions before we were married and I do remind him of that occasionally.  Why would anyone want mindless obedience?  Can you respect someone who only...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Dec 31, 2009

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    News of the Weird

    I found this little story in News of the Weird and thought it should be posted here: "This is a college education that I can use," said sophmore Emily Felts, 19, as she praised the homemaking curriculum of the Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Ft Worth...
    ReformedAutomaton ReformedAutomaton 36-40, M 14 Responses Dec 9, 2007

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    Thats Why You Write Your Own Vows

    Those words would never have come into play in my wedding. I want a man who wants a partner not a slave. That's all find and what not for women and men who can handle that kind of subjugation but I can not. I am a free person within a relatively free country and I will be...
    KaysFun KaysFun 26-30, F 3 Responses Dec 7, 2008

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    I Did Not Vow to Obey Or Submit

    I flat refused to.   His family and even some of his neighbors tried to force the idea even to the point of bible thumping.  So when all was said and done and the smoke cleared we wrote our own vows. I promised to commit my love to him, to respect his...
    BlackWolfEternal BlackWolfEternal 41-45, F 1 Response Jul 8, 2008

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    Are You Kidding....

    I am not my husbands property, nor is he mine. Relationships are about give and take. After seeing the I must obey my husband group, I told James "Oh, says here I'm supposed to obey you love.." Hes still laughing now...   Hehe, fat chance!   If a...
    deleted deleted 26-30 10 Responses Sep 7, 2008

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    Surprised

    I saw the group of women who wish to obey their husbands and I was taken aback.  It's certainly well within their rights to be however they wish.  But in reading their stories they say things like "I never know which decision to make so my husband does it for me...
    ReformedAutomaton ReformedAutomaton 36-40, M 88 Responses Jul 11, 2007

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    No The Hell I Don't!

    I only have to obey God.  I don't even want a damn husband.
    BellasHappyPlace BellasHappyPlace 18-21, F 3 Responses Jan 1, 2010

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    Huh?

    okay so i saw this group and thought it was a joke.  and then i searched for the 'must obey my husband' group and was at a loss for words.  whoa.  um... i don't think so.  i obey no one.  i abide by laws but obey?  uh-uh.  i control myself and...
    merisszzilla merisszzilla 36-40, F 3 Responses Feb 7, 2009

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    I Differ, Indeed.

    I was going to write "idiotic" as a title, but, I looked at the name of the experience, and thought I should try to be more... "conservative". This also reminds me of an experience I joined earlier on named "some of the experiences make me feel sick...
    Hairstyle Hairstyle 22-25, M 1 Response Dec 8, 2007

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    I Refuse to Obey

    My husband demands he be obeyed,even worshipped. I always do the opposite of what he commands. I refuse to be treated like a dog. He's nothing but a slobby bum. I sure won't worship a creepy bum. I'll NEVER obey him.
    glimmerized glimmerized 41-45, T 1 Response Jul 9, 2008

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    My Personal Belief

    I more agree with the "I think my husband should kiss my *** and worship the ground I walk on" group lol.
    howsab howsab 31-35, F 4 Responses Aug 1, 2011

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    Do People Still Abide By This?

    When I took my marriage vows way too many years ago, I knew that I was going my best to stand by them.  The ONE vow that I KNEW I would never ever commit to, was the one referring to obeying my husband. I have my own mind, my own thoughts, and my own ideas.  I'm very...
    goddessone goddessone 41-45, F 11 Responses Mar 29, 2008

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    I Didn't Marry My Boss

    I've shared a few thoughts on this on the obeying group. But I think a lot of it boils down to differing ideas about what a marriage is. The idea of women being obeyant dates back historically to a time when women were chattel. Some men did not even see them as human...
    chovhani chovhani 46-50, F 1 Response Sep 26, 2007

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    Very Much

    I have no intention of being barefoot, pregnant and chained to the sink Constant obedience would soon wear thin as there would be fear of voicing one's own opinions and being free to be yourself- show your desires and interests.  After all, they love you for a reason and...
    deleted deleted 26-30 8 Responses Sep 15, 2008

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    My Two Cents

    A wife should be a partner. Pets should obey.
    wyldside wyldside 36-40, M 1 Response Aug 14, 2012

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    Guess Where It Started?

    My mom destroyed her life because she believed so adamantly with the other group. No, I'm no exaggerating. It was always for what he wanted to do, the things he would pursue. She overlooked the harmful issues, the things that should have raised warnings with my sister and...
    FluidMind FluidMind 31-35, M 3 Responses Dec 24, 2007

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    Obey? No Way!

    i've never been married, and i'm not trying to be any kind of expert here. but the way i see it, marriage (or any relationship, really) should be about compromise. you should respect your partner, and try to work together. i think spouses should be a team, not opponents. and no...
    runnagirrl runnagirrl 22-25, F 4 Responses Jul 9, 2008

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    Speaking As a Man....

    ... I'm not interested in obedient women.... I'd rather have someone with sp unk and character enough to tell me to shove it when she thinks I'm wrong or unreasonable.... ... but then again..... I'm not married, or don't have a girlfriend for that matter.....
    delt delt 41-45, M 6 Responses Dec 10, 2007

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    Disgusting!!!

    Lets just say you do not want to see a rant about this very sensitive and very close to my heart topic!!! I think it's beyond archaic, it's cruel it's inhuman and subhuman it's degrading and it's an EXCUSE to NOT live YOUR OWN LIFE AND EVOLVE. ITS DISGUSTING!!! I despise the men...
    lunadelobos lunadelobos 41-45 15 Responses Jul 16, 2011

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    Unless...

    If I respect someone enough to agree with what they say, I will go along with it.  If I dont like what they say or think it it stupid... I will flat out tell them.   This blind "Obey" thing is a joke.  Years ago, I had a fiancee that said if I...
    MISTRESSROXY MISTRESSROXY 36-40, F 4 Responses Jan 1, 2010

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    Life With The Prison Warden

    Who made the rule that the wife has to be submissive to the husband? Why can't we be equal? My husband just expects me to bow to him and obey his every word. Everyday is a giant power struggle because I won't bow down and worship him. I am not allowed to have my opinions I have...
    howsab howsab 31-35, F 4 Responses May 31, 2011

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    Equal rights. Women are expected to work -

    what makes men better then? Women are expected to cook and clean and blah blah blah <~ we both eat, we both cook.. We both use the house , we both clean. Plain and simple - and fair.
    leyla29 leyla29 26-30, F 1 Response Nov 15

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    Why?

    A partnership is a partnership, and if the partners don't have equal rights from the start why bother? Why would any husband want a submissive wife anyway...it's some kind of weird control thing I guess.
    mikemcneil mikemcneil 46-50, M 3 Responses Dec 8, 2007

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    "my Husband".................................................

    I am with my husband for a very long time, over 21 years.................We have a Beautiful Daughter. In many ways i feel truly blessed to have him my by side  for so long...But there were some seriously bad times. During those times i would try and be ever more patient...
    Anto815 Anto815 46-50, F 2 Responses Jul 16, 2011

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    Yuck

    Just am not into being treated like a dog!
    redheadsrule redheadsrule 36-40, F 7 Responses Jul 24, 2007

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    Haha where is that group?

    I'm still having a tough time trying to get my husband to figure it out though, but in the end I always do what he wants just to make him happy. The happiest marriages are where husbands also do what their wives want...just to make them super happy:)
    syntheticrhyme syntheticrhyme 46-50, F 1 Response Feb 28

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    I Want Someone Who Is An Equal

    I want to be with someone who is another individual... who does what she does because that's her desire... not someone who blindly obeys me because that's what she thinks she should do and makes no other thoughts beyond that.
    JRSK007 JRSK007 51-55, M 1 Response Dec 10, 2007

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    Taken In Hand

    www.takeninhand.com I love this website it accoplishes the needs of Both the male and female He is in charge but she willfully is giving to him    
    Joesblue Joesblue 41-45, M 5 Responses Sep 8, 2008

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    No Way

     Anyone who demands that I "obey" is losing a testicle. We are equals and should be treated as such, thank you very much. ~Jennie
    Jenniedvm Jenniedvm 18-21, F 6 Responses Dec 6, 2008

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    I Don't Have a Problem Living How I Want

    obeying can be taken and constrewed so many different directions. I see being faithful, being open in communication, listening to and taking advice from. but blindly obeying with no free will of my own? never. period.
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jul 8, 2008

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    Obey, Big Mistake

    Throughtout my marriage I took the obey part of my vows to heart. I was ignorant and clueless. I had this notion that my husband should run the household and if we were to disagree I would go with what he thought and wait quietly and submissively by his side. WTF??!!! I...
    Abriee Abriee 36-40, F 2 Responses Nov 26, 2008

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    Yeah...

    You can pick up your own damn socks.  We'll both work, because I know that I'm still going to want and have a career when I have a husband and kids.  We'll both take care of our kids.  We'll both put food on the table, do the laundry, get the car washed and pay the...
    yoyy yoyy 26-30, F 5 Responses Dec 6, 2008

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    As If I Will Ever Have One...

    Hmmm... I wonder if I should start the "I believe a woman should obey her wife" group!   LOL!
    SaratogaGirl SaratogaGirl 26-30, F 3 Responses Oct 9, 2009

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    Obey

    no way its a two way street. Work with each other no one must obey one another. That is not a marriage its a one way street. I use to do everything for mine but they never bossed me around I just liked putting them first. But let me tell you that was a mistake. Talking things out...
    silvercoins4 silvercoins4 70+, F 10 Responses Sep 15, 2008

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    Women Rule

    Let us bow down to all women that pass before us. Worship the godess that is within all women. Worship those who bring life into our world.
    JustSillyStuff JustSillyStuff 46-50, T 1 Response Apr 10, 2008

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    Speaking As An Alpha Female…

    I can’t imagine it! My husband is very intelligent but I wouldn’t WANT to put the burden on him to make all the decisions in our relationship. What a stressful situation!  Can you imagine having to always make the decision—not just for yourself...
    Katija Katija 51-55, F 9 Responses Jul 11, 2007

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    Notallowed

    I've been married for 29 long years---remember wedding day vividly-remember telling my dh--no way will the words obey be in our vows---I'm not a piece of property to you--love,honor, cherish-you bet--did it work out that way--no--now it's showing--has been though for many years...
    donewiththis donewiththis 51-55 6 Responses Sep 15, 2008

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    There Is No "Must"

    Wow!! have to keep my trap shut on this one but girls, girls ,girls, God gave you a mind and free will and he expects you to use them! They are gifts from Him and in the end you and you alone are responsible.
    mflatham mflatham 56-60, F 1 Response Jul 11, 2007

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    46 Years Of Marriage, And I Love Her More Then Ever.

    I'm sorry, but Marriage is not a competition. It's not who makes more money, it's not who pays the bills, it's not who cooks, cleans, washes dishes, windows, vacuums, or whatever you may think? Marriage is not an obey your husband or wife. Marriage is a joining of 2 people God...
    romantch65 romantch65 56-60, M 3 Responses Aug 6, 2012

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    Negotiation

    I cant stress enough that there is no obeying in a marriage. You are not a dog looking for a treat. At least I'm not. In order to be happy and have a successful marriage Negotiation is a neccesity.
    mimiboo mimiboo 16-17, F 1 Response Jul 9, 2008

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    I Am Not a Door Mat!

    In a relationship you need to listen to each other. Give and take. Why does what I say have any less importance because Im a woman? It doesn't. I am a human being not a dog that follows it's master. I want to walk with my man... Not behind!
    oneconfusedgirl oneconfusedgirl 26-30 1 Response Nov 28, 2008

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    I Would Be a Pathetic Doormat.

    Alright.  I certainly respect every woman's (and man's) right to live however the hell they see fit, to each his/her own and all that...but I have an opinion on absolutely everything.  A strong opinion.  I even have an opinion on which order the dishes should enter...
    natlynn natlynn 26-30, F 3 Responses Jul 11, 2007

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