I Differ With the I Must Obey My Husband Group

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 249 People

    After 12 years of abuse

    that kind if trust or relationship was ruined. It's not black white, there is lots of grey. My husband tends to get 'well in theory that is how it should work but you buggered that one up. Didn't you?' Or 'that only works in healthy relationships...' One of the first hand...
    teadiva teadiva
    36-40, F
    May 7, 2015


    You can pick up your own damn socks.  We'll both work, because I know that I'm still going to want and have a career when I have a husband and kids.  We'll both take care of our kids.  We'll both put food on the table, do the laundry, get the car washed and pay the...
    yoyy yoyy
    26-30, F
    5 Responses Dec 6, 2008

    Just Like Any Other Friend

    I adore my husband, trust him and respect him but he married me because I wasn't a mindless drone.  He loved my opinions before we were married and I do remind him of that occasionally.  Why would anyone want mindless obedience?  Can you respect someone who only...
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Dec 31, 2009

    I Am Not a Door Mat!

    In a relationship you need to listen to each other. Give and take. Why does what I say have any less importance because Im a woman? It doesn't. I am a human being not a dog that follows it's master. I want to walk with my man... Not behind!
    oneconfusedgirl oneconfusedgirl
    1 Response Nov 28, 2008


    okay so i saw this group and thought it was a joke.  and then i searched for the 'must obey my husband' group and was at a loss for words.  whoa.  um... i don't think so.  i obey no one.  i abide by laws but obey?  uh-uh.  i control myself and...
    merisszzilla merisszzilla
    36-40, F
    3 Responses Feb 7, 2009

    Obey? No Way!

    i've never been married, and i'm not trying to be any kind of expert here. but the way i see it, marriage (or any relationship, really) should be about compromise. you should respect your partner, and try to work together. i think spouses should be a team, not opponents. and no...
    runnagirrl runnagirrl
    22-25, F
    4 Responses Jul 9, 2008

    Taken In Hand

    www.takeninhand.com I love this website it accoplishes the needs of Both the male and female He is in charge but she willfully is giving to him    
    Joesblue Joesblue
    41-45, M
    5 Responses Sep 8, 2008

    Obey??? Seriously???

    I don't obey anything or anyone... I do what I want... love and relationship is about mutual respect and understanding not obeying... that's ridiculous...
    phidget phidget
    31-35, F
    1 Response May 14, 2008

    Speaking As a Man....

    ... I'm not interested in obedient women.... I'd rather have someone with sp unk and character enough to tell me to shove it when she thinks I'm wrong or unreasonable.... ... but then again..... I'm not married, or don't have a girlfriend for that matter.....
    delt delt
    46-50, M
    5 Responses Dec 10, 2007

    No Way

     Anyone who demands that I "obey" is losing a testicle. We are equals and should be treated as such, thank you very much. ~Jennie
    Jenniedvm Jenniedvm
    18-21, F
    6 Responses Dec 6, 2008

    This Guy's Opinion...

    In my opinion, unless it's part of a game you're playing, in which case, it's more than ok, but neither spouse should have to completely obey the other one.
    drcynic drcynic
    26-30, M
    5 Responses Dec 7, 2008

    Do People Still Abide By This?

    When I took my marriage vows way too many years ago, I knew that I was going my best to stand by them.  The ONE vow that I KNEW I would never ever commit to, was the one referring to obeying my husband. I have my own mind, my own thoughts, and my own ideas.  I'm very...
    goddessone goddessone
    41-45, F
    11 Responses Mar 29, 2008


    If I respect someone enough to agree with what they say, I will go along with it.  If I dont like what they say or think it it stupid... I will flat out tell them.   This blind "Obey" thing is a joke.  Years ago, I had a fiancee that said if I...
    36-40, F
    3 Responses Jan 1, 2010

    I Didn't Marry My Boss

    I've shared a few thoughts on this on the obeying group. But I think a lot of it boils down to differing ideas about what a marriage is. The idea of women being obeyant dates back historically to a time when women were chattel. Some men did not even see them as human...
    chovhani chovhani
    46-50, F
    1 Response Sep 26, 2007

    No The Hell I Don't!

    I only have to obey God.  I don't even want a damn husband.
    BellasHappyPlace BellasHappyPlace
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Jan 1, 2010

    I Refuse to Obey

    My husband demands he be obeyed,even worshipped. I always do the opposite of what he commands. I refuse to be treated like a dog. He's nothing but a slobby bum. I sure won't worship a creepy bum. I'll NEVER obey him.
    glimmerized glimmerized
    41-45, T
    1 Response Jul 9, 2008

    My Two Cents

    A wife should be a partner. Pets should obey.
    wyldside wyldside
    36-40, M
    1 Response Aug 14, 2012

    Very Much

    I have no intention of being barefoot, pregnant and chained to the sink Constant obedience would soon wear thin as there would be fear of voicing one's own opinions and being free to be yourself- show your desires and interests.  After all, they love you for a reason and...
    deleted deleted
    8 Responses Sep 15, 2008

    As If I Will Ever Have One...

    Hmmm... I wonder if I should start the "I believe a woman should obey her wife" group!   LOL!
    SaratogaGirl SaratogaGirl
    26-30, F
    3 Responses Oct 9, 2009

    Perhaps it was the reason

    why my marriage did not last forever."Don't tell me what to do, I have my own mind".Yet, am ready to compromise.(He can't) He even said I was a very different woman.Yeah, so now I don't have a husband.Blame my insubordination, stubbornness and unyielding attitude.I can be...
    4BlackForest 4BlackForest
    36-40, F
    2 Responses Mar 3, 2015


    Lets just say you do not want to see a rant about this very sensitive and very close to my heart topic!!! I think it's beyond archaic, it's cruel it's inhuman and subhuman it's degrading and it's an EXCUSE to NOT live YOUR OWN LIFE AND EVOLVE. ITS DISGUSTING!!! I despise the men...
    Lunadelobos Lunadelobos
    15 Responses Jul 16, 2011

    Thats Why You Write Your Own Vows

    Those words would never have come into play in my wedding. I want a man who wants a partner not a slave. That's all find and what not for women and men who can handle that kind of subjugation but I can not. I am a free person within a relatively free country and I will be...
    KaysFun KaysFun
    26-30, F
    3 Responses Dec 7, 2008

    Obey, Big Mistake

    Throughtout my marriage I took the obey part of my vows to heart. I was ignorant and clueless. I had this notion that my husband should run the household and if we were to disagree I would go with what he thought and wait quietly and submissively by his side. WTF??!!! I...
    Abriee Abriee
    36-40, F
    2 Responses Nov 26, 2008

    Are You Kidding....

    I am not my husbands property, nor is he mine. Relationships are about give and take. After seeing the I must obey my husband group, I told James "Oh, says here I'm supposed to obey you love.." Hes still laughing now...   Hehe, fat chance!   If a...
    deleted deleted
    10 Responses Sep 7, 2008


    Just am not into being treated like a dog!
    redheadsrule redheadsrule
    36-40, F
    7 Responses Jul 24, 2007


    I cant stress enough that there is no obeying in a marriage. You are not a dog looking for a treat. At least I'm not. In order to be happy and have a successful marriage Negotiation is a neccesity.
    mimiboo mimiboo
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jul 9, 2008

    I Would Be a Pathetic Doormat.

    Alright.  I certainly respect every woman's (and man's) right to live however the hell they see fit, to each his/her own and all that...but I have an opinion on absolutely everything.  A strong opinion.  I even have an opinion on which order the dishes should enter...
    natlynn natlynn
    26-30, F
    3 Responses Jul 11, 2007

    I Differ, Indeed.

    I was going to write "idiotic" as a title, but, I looked at the name of the experience, and thought I should try to be more... "conservative". This also reminds me of an experience I joined earlier on named "some of the experiences make me feel sick...
    Hairstyle Hairstyle
    22-25, M
    Dec 8, 2007


    I've been married for 29 long years---remember wedding day vividly-remember telling my dh--no way will the words obey be in our vows---I'm not a piece of property to you--love,honor, cherish-you bet--did it work out that way--no--now it's showing--has been though for many years...
    donewiththis donewiththis
    5 Responses Sep 15, 2008

    Old Fashioned Hubby

    I'm married to an old fashioned man who still wants to think the man makes all the decisions and the woman carries them out. Now I said he 'still wants to think', because he knows , or should, that our house doesn't run that way. This is a second marriage for both of us, and my...
    loyd loyd
    51-55, F
    6 Responses Jul 8, 2008


    no way its a two way street. Work with each other no one must obey one another. That is not a marriage its a one way street. I use to do everything for mine but they never bossed me around I just liked putting them first. But let me tell you that was a mistake. Talking things out...
    silvercoins4 silvercoins4
    70+, F
    10 Responses Sep 15, 2008

    My Personal Belief

    I more agree with the "I think my husband should kiss my *** and worship the ground I walk on" group lol.
    howsab howsab
    31-35, F
    4 Responses Aug 1, 2011

    Guess Where It Started?

    My mom destroyed her life because she believed so adamantly with the other group. No, I'm no exaggerating. It was always for what he wanted to do, the things he would pursue. She overlooked the harmful issues, the things that should have raised warnings with my sister and...
    FluidMind FluidMind
    31-35, M
    3 Responses Dec 24, 2007

    "my Husband".................................................

    I am with my husband for a very long time, over 21 years.................We have a Beautiful Daughter. In many ways i feel truly blessed to have him my by side  for so long...But there were some seriously bad times. During those times i would try and be ever more patient...
    Anto815 Anto815
    46-50, F
    2 Responses Jul 16, 2011

    Equal rights. Women are expected to work -

    what makes men better then? Women are expected to cook and clean and blah blah blah <~ we both eat, we both cook.. We both use the house , we both clean. Plain and simple - and fair.
    leyla29 leyla29
    31-35, F
    1 Response Nov 15, 2014

    Haha where is that group?

    I'm still having a tough time trying to get my husband to figure it out though, but in the end I always do what he wants just to make him happy. The happiest marriages are where husbands also do what their wives want...just to make them super happy:)
    syntheticrhyme syntheticrhyme
    46-50, F
    1 Response Feb 28, 2014

    Speaking As An Alpha Female…

    I can’t imagine it! My husband is very intelligent but I wouldn’t WANT to put the burden on him to make all the decisions in our relationship. What a stressful situation!  Can you imagine having to always make the decision—not just for yourself...
    Katija Katija
    51-55, F
    9 Responses Jul 11, 2007


    Obey your husband????? I don't think so, I bring in the bigger paycheck, clean this house and pay all the bills,
    Parsley17 Parsley17
    46-50, F
    3 Responses Apr 4, 2012

    46 Years Of Marriage, And I Love Her More Then Ever.

    I'm sorry, but Marriage is not a competition. It's not who makes more money, it's not who pays the bills, it's not who cooks, cleans, washes dishes, windows, vacuums, or whatever you may think? Marriage is not an obey your husband or wife. Marriage is a joining of 2 people God...
    romantch65 romantch65
    56-60, M
    3 Responses Aug 6, 2012

    I Did Not Vow to Obey Or Submit

    I flat refused to.   His family and even some of his neighbors tried to force the idea even to the point of bible thumping.  So when all was said and done and the smoke cleared we wrote our own vows. I promised to commit my love to him, to respect his...
    BlackWolfEternal BlackWolfEternal
    41-45, F
    1 Response Jul 8, 2008

    Life With The Prison Warden

    Who made the rule that the wife has to be submissive to the husband? Why can't we be equal? My husband just expects me to bow to him and obey his every word. Everyday is a giant power struggle because I won't bow down and worship him. I am not allowed to have my opinions I have...
    howsab howsab
    31-35, F
    4 Responses May 31, 2011

    News of the Weird

    I found this little story in News of the Weird and thought it should be posted here: "This is a college education that I can use," said sophmore Emily Felts, 19, as she praised the homemaking curriculum of the Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Ft Worth...
    ReformedAutomaton ReformedAutomaton
    41-45, M
    14 Responses Dec 9, 2007


    I saw the group of women who wish to obey their husbands and I was taken aback.  It's certainly well within their rights to be however they wish.  But in reading their stories they say things like "I never know which decision to make so my husband does it for me...
    ReformedAutomaton ReformedAutomaton
    41-45, M
    87 Responses Jul 11, 2007
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