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I Dissociate

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 198 People

    Dissociate

    A few years ago,I dissociated / blanked out in front of someone.  It happened just like that.  When I came about, I was shocked realizing what had just happened.  I felt retarded and at the same time, it is not my fault.  I never knew these things can happen...
    Whateverrrrr Whateverrrrr 36-40, F 6 Responses Oct 8, 2010

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    Scared

    I don't even know where to begin.  I have moments of clarity sometimes.  They scare me, and your loss makes me ill.
    notvery notvery 18-21 Jul 9, 2008

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    I Have Dissociative Identity Disorder

    I've had it since I was four. I dissociate regularly. Most of the time it's to another personality but occasionally, if it's a sudden stress, I'll just go into a dissociated state. Luckily, that doesn't happen very often, because when it does I can't be brought out of it by an...
    chococat159 chococat159 18-21 4 Responses May 22, 2011

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    Everyday, I Dissociate.

    I use dissociation daily. When something goes wrong, I dissociate. I choose not to face my problems head-on because I simply do not know how. Frankly, when I have to think about my own problems over others', I panic. I can never seem to figure out the best path for myself, even...
    nyaa nyaa 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 3, 2011

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    Black Hole

    She sits on her bed in her usual dissociative state, as she sits ans stares, and awaits her fate. Her eyes are bloodshot from lack of sleep, her hair is a mess and her knees are weak. Her heart is a brick that weighs heavily on her chest, she is completely exhausted and needs to...
    danielle18 danielle18 18-21, F May 17, 2013

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    New Here.... I Don't Know If This Is Dissociating...

    I put this in "Confessions" but I thought you might offer some perspective on this... I think I really need to be trying to do something about this... ___________________________   I need psychological help. Almost 20 years ago I invented someone and he...
    violentfemme violentfemme 26-30, F 6 Responses Dec 7, 2008

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    Lost

    I guess for my it has become a part of my everyday life to dissociate. I will come too and realise that i wasnt were i was when i left my self. Or someone will question me on things i dont remember doing. The first time i distinctly remember dissociating was about 4 years ago. I...
    birduncaged birduncaged 18-21, F Aug 27, 2013

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    Its So Hard

    The new semester started and I was back in college...so many crowds, I felt like standing still experiencing vertigo as the whole world swirled around me. I felt like people were laughing too loud and leering at me, pointing their fingers and smirking. I felt so depressed it was...
    hoping2live hoping2live 22-25, F 5 Responses Sep 21, 2010

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    I Dissociate On Multiple Levels...

    So far I haven't been diagnosed as such, but the signs are clear. I dissociate from myself, from emotional situations, from my family, anything. The most worry-some part is when I'm driving on the motorway. After I am on the appropriate speed, something happens, I'm no longer...
    Perturbee Perturbee 41-45, F 3 Responses Sep 6, 2009

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    Pushing Through The Rubble..

    Just when you think it's all over, it comes back like a haunting nightmare. I started getting too comfortable again, locking myself up in my room, distracting myself with music and television, potato chips and painting. Sometimes even sitting staring off into space and going...
    hoping2live hoping2live 22-25, F 2 Responses Sep 13, 2010

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    Too Often

    I dissociate almost daily. There is really no warning signs, it just happens for no reason. It sucks because there are things that i cant really remember much of what  i had been saying, or doing. i'm better than i used to be with it though, i can somewhat...
    LittleFerrett LittleFerrett 18-21, F Feb 17, 2010

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    Realization

    I started counseling before Thanksgiving and I told her that I removed myself from every situation that was painful.  I told her that whenever my parents started fighting, I would go into my room and close my door. After I started college, I would remove myself from...
    kodah12 kodah12 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 22, 2008

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    A Lot

    I'm bad about just kind of "wandering away" inside my head.  Friends have been known to look over their shoulders to see what I was staring at, when I was disassociated, and effectively gone.  I've scared a few that way too; when I didn't "come back" when they called my name.
    Plaid Plaid 31-35, F Sep 29, 2011

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    Bpd And Dissociation

    i find what when i dissociate it can be quite scary because i have done some pretty bad self harm in the past, yet have memory of doing it to myself "but i have".. also in therapy i know i dissoicate because my therapist is asking me if i heard her calling me, NO i reply and i...
    bpdragdoll bpdragdoll 36-40, F 2 Responses Sep 19, 2012

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    I am nine people or personalities inside one

    mind one body. I have been learning that in order to fully heal and become whole, I must integrate. I used to believe that meant killing off my alters. Today someone sent me an email regarding my other selves, and wrote: "I hope in time you will be able to drill down and...
    reslil reslil 36-40, F Jan 14

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    I Can Dissociate At Will.

    I'm sure many members in this group don't view dissociation in a positive light at all, and I have no doubts that all of you find it a very hard and challenging thing to deal with. For me, since the age of six, I've been able to induce myself into a dissociative state at will...
    BlackParasol BlackParasol 22-25, F 2 Responses Aug 22, 2010

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    Distant From Myself

    I have felt distant from myself for quite a while and had trouble remembering things but I didn't learn that I was dissociating until my psychologist tested me earlier this year. I'm usually not aware of when i'm about to start dissociating which makes it hard to stop. My...
    vivalagloria vivalagloria 22-25, F 1 Response Aug 19, 2008

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    I Am Still Using Dissociation to Cope

    I am discovering that I still dissociate like I did as a child in order to cope with the abuse and trauma in my life. So much to the point my host has split off again. We been retraumatied but don't know when and or where. Very scary time for us. Rach
    Rachel4now Rachel4now 31-35, F 4 Responses Feb 18, 2008

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    Maybe I'm Being Too Dramatic

    There are a lot of things I can't remember from my childhood as clearly as I'd like to, but other things are vivid and I can remember dates and times even.I have a tack-sharp memory when it comes to dates or other numbers. There was one time I had to ride in the back of my dad's...
    hekatemoon hekatemoon 22-25, F 1 Response Jun 28, 2010

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    I Dissociate

    I dissociate from reality through obsession. I'm really talented, I wrote poetry for 7years and all of a sudden I'm drawing really good. I'm not sure if I'm feeling grief from a sudden automatic change and I can't let the poetry go even though it's still there, it's not the same...
    Skye90 Skye90 22-25, F Oct 15, 2013

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    The One Time In Public...

    I can dissociate at will, but I'll do it automatically if I'm scared or stressed enough. The last time this happened automatically was in art class a year ago, when I was working on a drawing due at the end of the hour. I knew I wasn't going to finish it in time, and the idea of...
    chococat159 chococat159 18-21 2 Responses Feb 11, 2012

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    Maybe There Isn't A Name For It

    It started with just having a bad memory. I couldn't remember what people had said, what I had did, or what happened for days or even weeks. They were just gone. But I knew that they had happened, I just didn't know how. I remember going through their time, they were...
    lolitanomore lolitanomore 13-15, F 3 Responses Dec 18, 2009

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    The Different Versions I Experience

    The first time I really remembering it happen I was home for Christmas break and my room has a giant floor to ceiling mirror, and I looked at it and was suddenly shocked to see the person standing there. It made the same expressions I did, it moved when I did, but it somehow wasn...
    jimmyknittster jimmyknittster 18-21, M 4 Responses Oct 19, 2011

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    A Coping Mechanism I No Longer Need...

    I'm not sure when I realized that I did this, and I never really thought about it much before. But then I had to explain myself to someone very close to me, and their reaction let me know this was unusual. So I've been thinking about what triggers dissociating or possibly...
    MechanicalBunny MechanicalBunny 22-25, F 4 Responses Jan 18, 2012

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    Poem I Wrote

    I am sitting here eating cereal there is a vague noise somewhere trembling hands the noise doesn't bother me anymore I don't care my stomach churns I start to panic again the noise is there still I am staring at the wall one spoonfull after another just coming and coming over and...
    Freefalling1 Freefalling1 26-30 Mar 4, 2013

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    Have Since I Was Eight, Still Do

    I first dissociated when I was molested. It was only a one time occurrence but it was still traumatic for me, and the way it was handled afterward compounded the trauma. I felt like none of what was going on was real and I was outside my body, like it was all a dream. I even...
    Susannahjade Susannahjade 22-25, F 2 Responses May 1, 2013

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    Finally!

    There are people who UNDERSTAND! That's all I can write for now but I am glad I decided to try to reach out.
    QuestionMarks QuestionMarks 41-45, F Jan 19, 2013

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    Dissociate At Work

    I am a business professional by day and I have lapses of amnesia where I dissociate and become oblivious to what I am doing. I have caused gain/loss issues because I mindlessly process work and make errors. I have found what helps me to be " present in the moment" is to take a 60...
    MsNoca MsNoca 31-35, F May 24, 2013

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    My boss of 8 years sat me down today with 2

    coworkers and told me I've changed and asked if I've been taking any medication. The answer is no, but my husband cheat on me and it so depressed me that I'm having a hard time driving and just doing anything. When I told them I was too embarrassed to talk about it but was...
    syntheticrhyme syntheticrhyme 46-50, F 3 Responses Mar 11

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    Dissociation Is Nice But Very Frustrating In Social Situations

    My dissociative abilities stem back from severe childhood abuse, abuse taken in many forms and I'm aware that it is a learned coping mechanism. In fact, I feel like I'm lightly dissociated 24/7 these days. I don't have DID or alters who appear during heavier dissociations...
    Mercvry Mercvry 31-35, M 6 Responses May 13, 2012

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    It Won't Stop

    It had been a slight ever-present problem since around middle school, when I had many enemies and few friends. I never noticed that it was abnormal or unusual to be mentally pulled out of my own interactions, I had never known anything except for it. And then (please keep your...
    Nemesiidae Nemesiidae 18-21, M 1 Response Aug 1, 2013

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    What Do You Think?

    I read many of the stories here. My first dissociation was not traumatic , I dont really remember the first time because I've always lived like this. It is common for me that every day at some point, I see the world as a dream, sometimes distant, as if it wasnt my body and I was...
    likeamanda likeamanda 22-25, F 1 Response May 8, 2013

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    Been Worse Lately

    In my last story in this group, I mentioned how I'll automatically slip into a dissociated state (which I'll call DS from now on) when I'm stressed. The other alters in the system monitor my stress levels very closely for this reason. My ED came back again this summer, though...
    chococat159 chococat159 18-21 Sep 22, 2013

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    My Dissociation Story (Lengthy)

    I noticed that society has a certain perception of mental illness. This perception can paint an ugly and vague picture. Take for instance depression. There are plenty of commercials out there for depression, but unless you really have it, you just don’t understand the reality...
    mathuclo mathuclo 26-30, M Sep 14, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    My husband doesn't actually have a diagnosis of DID he has a diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder. However he does dissociate frequently. He also has different 'personas...
    00flyaway 00flyaway 41-45, F 4 Responses Aug 2

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    Constructs Somewhere in Iceland I lay under a graying sky. There's billowing clouds with patterns of blue between them. And a ceiling of intermittent glass between us. The sky...
    ArtemisAncestor ArtemisAncestor 26-30, F 3 Responses Aug 21

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    .....at least I think I do. I self-diagnosed today, next step is finding a qualified professional to treat me. I told my therapist and she was very skeptical. Made me feel like...
    cssoulsearching cssoulsearching 26-30, F Aug 13

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      You can then abide by up every thirty days using your company. For sufferers who struggle with willpower, an appetite suppressant will make it attainable so that you can try to...
    Michael592w2ui6 Michael592w2ui6 31-35, M 1 Response a week ago

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