I Dissociate

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 272 People

    A Lot

    I'm bad about just kind of "wandering away" inside my head.  Friends have been known to look over their shoulders to see what I was staring at, when I was disassociated, and effectively gone.  I've scared a few that way too; when I didn't "come back" when they called my name.
    Plaid Plaid
    31-35, F
    Sep 29, 2011

    Dissociation Is Nice But Very Frustrating In Social Situations

    My dissociative abilities stem back from severe childhood abuse, abuse taken in many forms and I'm aware that it is a learned coping mechanism. In fact, I feel like I'm lightly dissociated 24/7 these days. I don't have DID or alters who appear during heavier dissociations...
    Mercvry Mercvry
    31-35, M
    6 Responses May 13, 2012

    Poem I Wrote

    I am sitting here eating cereal there is a vague noise somewhere trembling hands the noise doesn't bother me anymore I don't care my stomach churns I start to panic again the noise is there still I am staring at the wall one spoonfull after another just coming and coming over and...
    Freefalling1 Freefalling1
    26-30
    Mar 4, 2013

    I just realized that I did this the other day.

    . It;s hard to say whether or not I have become better about this.. I'm still trying to become self-aware of this habit.. but when something triggers me, I will dissociate every chance I get. My friend lost her snake.. he disappeared from the cage very similarly to the way mine...
    twiztedrune twiztedrune
    26-30, F
    Dec 26, 2015

    Black Hole

    She sits on her bed in her usual dissociative state, as she sits ans stares, and awaits her fate. Her eyes are bloodshot from lack of sleep, her hair is a mess and her knees are weak. Her heart is a brick that weighs heavily on her chest, she is completely exhausted and needs to...
    danielle18 danielle18
    18-21, F
    May 17, 2013

    Been Worse Lately

    In my last story in this group, I mentioned how I'll automatically slip into a dissociated state (which I'll call DS from now on) when I'm stressed. The other alters in the system monitor my stress levels very closely for this reason. My ED came back again this summer, though...
    chococat159 chococat159
    18-21
    Sep 22, 2013

    I Dissociate On Multiple Levels...

    So far I haven't been diagnosed as such, but the signs are clear. I dissociate from myself, from emotional situations, from my family, anything. The most worry-some part is when I'm driving on the motorway. After I am on the appropriate speed, something happens, I'm no longer...
    Perturbee Perturbee
    46-50, F
    3 Responses Sep 6, 2009

    Realization

    I started counseling before Thanksgiving and I told her that I removed myself from every situation that was painful.  I told her that whenever my parents started fighting, I would go into my room and close my door. After I started college, I would remove myself from...
    kodah12 kodah12
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Dec 22, 2008

    Have Since I Was Eight, Still Do

    I first dissociated when I was molested. It was only a one time occurrence but it was still traumatic for me, and the way it was handled afterward compounded the trauma. I felt like none of what was going on was real and I was outside my body, like it was all a dream. I even...
    Susannahjade Susannahjade
    26-30, F
    2 Responses May 1, 2013

    Maybe I'm Being Too Dramatic

    There are a lot of things I can't remember from my childhood as clearly as I'd like to, but other things are vivid and I can remember dates and times even.I have a tack-sharp memory when it comes to dates or other numbers. There was one time I had to ride in the back of my dad's...
    hekatemoon hekatemoon
    22-25, F
    1 Response Jun 28, 2010

    I treated myself to a slurpee

    after today's session. It was stressful. Only because I felt like my psychologist was talking to me , about me , as if I wasn't in the room. Why don't I recognize myself in pictures? Who am I?
    iMinnow iMinnow
    22-25, F
    Sep 27, 2014

    today something happened

    that is one of the reasons we hid behind one name for nearly 30 years..... being separate is difficult but we are high functioning and very well able to appear as a single. today someone was interested in us separately and together, since we are one body.... to know if it...
    Llyz Llyz
    36-40, F
    1 Response Sep 25, 2015

    What Do You Think?

    I read many of the stories here. My first dissociation was not traumatic , I dont really remember the first time because I've always lived like this. It is common for me that every day at some point, I see the world as a dream, sometimes distant, as if it wasnt my body and I was...
    likeamanda likeamanda
    22-25, F
    2 Responses May 8, 2013

    Bpd And Dissociation

    i find what when i dissociate it can be quite scary because i have done some pretty bad self harm in the past, yet have memory of doing it to myself "but i have".. also in therapy i know i dissoicate because my therapist is asking me if i heard her calling me, NO i reply and i...
    bpdragdoll bpdragdoll
    36-40, F
    2 Responses Sep 19, 2012

    My boss of 8 years sat me down today with 2

    coworkers and told me I've changed and asked if I've been taking any medication. The answer is no, but my husband cheat on me and it so depressed me that I'm having a hard time driving and just doing anything. When I told them I was too embarrassed to talk about it but was...
    syntheticrhyme syntheticrhyme
    46-50, F
    2 Responses Mar 11, 2014

    Lost

    I guess for my it has become a part of my everyday life to dissociate. I will come too and realise that i wasnt were i was when i left my self. Or someone will question me on things i dont remember doing. The first time i distinctly remember dissociating was about 4 years ago. I...
    birduncaged birduncaged
    18-21, F
    Aug 27, 2013

    I Have Dissociative Identity Disorder

    I've had it since I was four. I dissociate regularly. Most of the time it's to another personality but occasionally, if it's a sudden stress, I'll just go into a dissociated state. Luckily, that doesn't happen very often, because when it does I can't be brought out of it by an...
    chococat159 chococat159
    18-21
    4 Responses May 22, 2011

    Its So Hard

    The new semester started and I was back in college...so many crowds, I felt like standing still experiencing vertigo as the whole world swirled around me. I felt like people were laughing too loud and leering at me, pointing their fingers and smirking. I felt so depressed it was...
    hoping2live hoping2live
    22-25, F
    5 Responses Sep 21, 2010

    Dissociate At Work

    I am a business professional by day and I have lapses of amnesia where I dissociate and become oblivious to what I am doing. I have caused gain/loss issues because I mindlessly process work and make errors. I have found what helps me to be " present in the moment" is to take a 60...
    MsNoca MsNoca
    31-35, F
    May 24, 2013

    It Won't Stop

    It had been a slight ever-present problem since around middle school, when I had many enemies and few friends. I never noticed that it was abnormal or unusual to be mentally pulled out of my own interactions, I had never known anything except for it. And then (please keep your...
    Nemesiidae Nemesiidae
    18-21, M
    2 Responses Aug 1, 2013

    Dissociate

    A few years ago,I dissociated / blanked out in front of someone.  It happened just like that.  When I came about, I was shocked realizing what had just happened.  I felt retarded and at the same time, it is not my fault.  I never knew these things can happen...
    Whateverrrrr Whateverrrrr
    36-40, F
    6 Responses Oct 8, 2010

    I have dissociative identity disorder.

    There are at least five distinct persons inside me - one being me. More than just about anything else, i hate when someone says 'oh, everyone has a committee in their head!' Do they really? Sure, a committee of one. mine is a committee of 5 completely separate individuals. Yes...
    Llyz Llyz
    36-40, F
    2 Responses Sep 18, 2015

    Some days are better

    than others. Today wasn't so great. As soon as I pull myself back into the present moment & think I've got it... I look at the clock and 2 hours have passed and I'm once again trying to get my focus back.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Mar 15, 2015

    I am not really sure

    where this belongs but this is the closest category I can find. I do dissociate and have DID, but this post is more about dissociating pain. If anyone can relate or has any suggestions, please reply! I dissociate pain. I seem to be very efficient at it. It seems the more pain...
    dreshany dreshany
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Nov 2, 2014

    I am nine people or personalities inside one

    mind one body. I have been learning that in order to fully heal and become whole, I must integrate. I used to believe that meant killing off my alters. Today someone sent me an email regarding my other selves, and wrote: "I hope in time you will be able to drill down and...
    reslil reslil
    36-40, F
    Jan 14, 2014

    I Can Dissociate At Will.

    I'm sure many members in this group don't view dissociation in a positive light at all, and I have no doubts that all of you find it a very hard and challenging thing to deal with. For me, since the age of six, I've been able to induce myself into a dissociative state at will...
    BlackParasol BlackParasol
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Aug 22, 2010

    The One Time In Public...

    I can dissociate at will, but I'll do it automatically if I'm scared or stressed enough. The last time this happened automatically was in art class a year ago, when I was working on a drawing due at the end of the hour. I knew I wasn't going to finish it in time, and the idea of...
    chococat159 chococat159
    18-21
    2 Responses Feb 11, 2012

    A Coping Mechanism I No Longer Need...

    I'm not sure when I realized that I did this, and I never really thought about it much before. But then I had to explain myself to someone very close to me, and their reaction let me know this was unusual. So I've been thinking about what triggers dissociating or possibly...
    MechanicalBunny MechanicalBunny
    22-25, F
    4 Responses Jan 18, 2012

    I Am Still Using Dissociation to Cope

    I am discovering that I still dissociate like I did as a child in order to cope with the abuse and trauma in my life. So much to the point my host has split off again. We been retraumatied but don't know when and or where. Very scary time for us. Rach
    Rachel4now Rachel4now
    31-35, F
    3 Responses Feb 18, 2008

    The verb "dissociate" literally means "to

    disconnect or separate." The word comes from the combination of "dis" and the Latin "sociare" meaning "join together." In chemistry, "dissociation" refers to a process wherein molecules separate into smaller units. However, if you're here, chances are you don't care about...
    DepressedDemigod DepressedDemigod
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Apr 12, 2015

    I Dissociate

    I dissociate from reality through obsession. I'm really talented, I wrote poetry for 7years and all of a sudden I'm drawing really good. I'm not sure if I'm feeling grief from a sudden automatic change and I can't let the poetry go even though it's still there, it's not the same...
    Skye90 Skye90
    22-25, F
    1 Response Oct 15, 2013

    Finally!

    There are people who UNDERSTAND! That's all I can write for now but I am glad I decided to try to reach out.
    QuestionMarks QuestionMarks
    41-45, F
    Jan 19, 2013

    Scared

    I don't even know where to begin.  I have moments of clarity sometimes.  They scare me, and your loss makes me ill.
    notvery notvery
    18-21
    Jul 9, 2008

    New Here.... I Don't Know If This Is Dissociating...

    I put this in "Confessions" but I thought you might offer some perspective on this... I think I really need to be trying to do something about this... ___________________________   I need psychological help. Almost 20 years ago I invented someone and he...
    violentfemme violentfemme
    26-30, F
    5 Responses Dec 7, 2008

    The Different Versions I Experience

    The first time I really remembering it happen I was home for Christmas break and my room has a giant floor to ceiling mirror, and I looked at it and was suddenly shocked to see the person standing there. It made the same expressions I did, it moved when I did, but it somehow wasn...
    jimmyknittster jimmyknittster
    18-21, M
    3 Responses Oct 19, 2011

    Everyday, I Dissociate.

    I use dissociation daily. When something goes wrong, I dissociate. I choose not to face my problems head-on because I simply do not know how. Frankly, when I have to think about my own problems over others', I panic. I can never seem to figure out the best path for myself, even...
    nyaa nyaa
    22-25, F
    1 Response Mar 3, 2011

    My Dissociation Story (Lengthy)

    I noticed that society has a certain perception of mental illness. This perception can paint an ugly and vague picture. Take for instance depression. There are plenty of commercials out there for depression, but unless you really have it, you just don’t understand the reality...
    mathuclo mathuclo
    31-35, M
    Sep 14, 2013
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