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I Do Not Remember Jokes

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 92 People

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    . . . When Bill Gates died he went to heaven but asked St. Peter if he could return back home 'cause he'd forgotten something. . .  St. Peter adamantly said "NO!"  . . . Bill Gates insisted. . (scratches head) . . okay - so...
    Suckerpunch Suckerpunch 36-40 2 Responses May 27, 2008

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    I Wish I Could...

    ... remember jokes! Even the shortest ones, when I'm convinced that I just cannot forget that one, I still do & it annoys me! I'm more like a spontaneous jokes, kinda silly & goofy, but not a joke teller. My mind is just not equipped for that role.
    misasja misasja 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 7, 2008

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    It Is Very Annoying To Me

    I also have a problem with remembering jokes but I think that perhaps I have the worse kind of affliction. I will remember that I heard a joke about a particular topic but not remember it well enough to tell it. Then unfortunately if I hear the joke again, I will remember the...
    rhouse rhouse 41-45 Nov 30, 2011

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    Handicap

    My most adorable quality perhaps is that I don't remember jokes. If it is a good one, I will laugh a second time as if I never heard it before. Needless to say that some friends love that. I mean, that's what I think. The bad side of the coin is that I'm unable to tell a joke...
    moreandless moreandless 56-60, M 1 Response Nov 11, 2010

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    I Only Remember A Few!

    It is hard for me to remember jokes, unless I write them down. This I read somewhere: "You are my best friend, but if the zombies are chasing us, I will trip you.". Cheers.
    xxxo222 xxxo222 46-50, F Sep 10, 2012

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    Here Is One I Just Heard

    A hillbilly knocks on the door of his new neighbor's house."Howdy, neighbor," he says, "In honor of you movin' into the holler, I'm gonna throw a party. There's gonna be a whole lotta drinkin', a whole lotta dancin', and a whole lotta screwin'.""Sounds like fun!" the neighbor...
    SpiritOfTheRabbit SpiritOfTheRabbit 31-35, F 2 Responses Nov 30, 2011

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    Lawl

    I don't remember jokes at all. WHen people go and tell me a joke. I go to tell someone else but end up telling them a different version of the joke. Haha.
    ascs ascs 22-25, F 3 Responses Jun 15, 2009

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    Related Experiences

    I am 69, my sister is 67. Way back in high school, 1967, we were in the high school marching band. She tells me, the marching band went to Spokane. I told her, she went, but...
    rjk01 rjk01 66-70, M 11 hrs ago

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    I love jokes but I am not good at cracking jokes. The following is my poor attempt in cracking a yo mama joke without even really thinking it through. Today, I got exasperated...
    mareliberum mareliberum 26-30 1 Response 1 day ago

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    An old geezer became very bored in retirement and decided to open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside that read: "Dr. Geezer's clinic. Get your treatment for $500, if not...
    Martys4ever Martys4ever 41-45, F 5 Responses 1 day ago

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    Want to make jokes? In Southern California? Want to make videos or play games/sports/physical activities? Got 2 free groups on FB (can be on other sites w/ groups) forming. Share...
    supergirl805 supergirl805 22-25, F 2 days ago

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    I've had extremely vivid and memorable dreams very frequently for most of my life. A lot of which have inspired my writing in the form of stories and poetry. My dreams are...
    mandabanana25 mandabanana25 22-25, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    I remember how amazing g and soothing you felt in my arms. I remember how your skin felt against mine. It was true bliss. I still can't believe it is over. For the absolute first...
    Broken31 Broken31 31-35, M 3 days ago

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    Yep. I feel old when I think about it. I remember when colour graphics and sound were a huge deal nevermind the internet. Anyone remember what a dial up modem sounds like? God...
    PicturesOfABetterTomorrow PicturesOfABetterTomorrow 31-35, M 5 Responses a week ago

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    Well I have always loved high heels as far back as I can remember. When I was about 8 years old my cousin moved in with us she was 10 years older than me. Boy I loved that when she...
    Pickenann Pickenann 56-60, M Feb 5

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    These are two stories of one of my class periods inside jokes from this month and not my own, but whatever. A few days ago during math, we were talking about the lesson and our...
    Lcy2472 Lcy2472 13-15, F Feb 4

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    For all of the good times, as well as the not so good~ I remember you. You helped me through a difficult time in my life, and I want to say thank you. You've moved on, as have I...
    angelwings626 angelwings626 46-50, F Feb 4

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    a man was in the African safari when he was suddenly attacked by a lion. the next thing he remembers is waking up in a vudo doctor's office. he feels really strange. the doctor...
    doctrble doctrble 41-45, M 2 Responses Feb 4

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    You may not be remembered by everyone, but you'll be remembered by the ones that truly matter. And in that way, you'll never be forgotten
    TheNoaster13 TheNoaster13 18-21, M Feb 3

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    Who remembers when no one cared about our selfies, food pictures and other stuff we use our phones/computers for? When we all sat at the table to eat dinner. When time was spent...
    foReverYOURS3211 foReverYOURS3211 26-30, F 1 Response Feb 3

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    I was born in 1998, I still remember life before the Internet. I had a normal childhood. When I was a kid I would play in the woods with my friends, build forts, and sneak to the...
    KarahXnichole KarahXnichole 16-17, F 2 Responses Feb 3

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    I remember it clearly, we started as friends and we became close friends over the years. We had feelings for each other and we became something more. One day she told me her...
    DonRex DonRex 22-25, M 3 Responses Feb 2

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    Where's a good place to get a joke/riddle book? Does anyone have an author or title? I love jokes, but I have a hard time remembering them. My family likes to share them and I...
    Nikkisela Nikkisela 61-65, F 4 Responses Feb 2

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    how can 18-22 year olds remember the dark ages? Before they could read or tap on a phone?
    mickitg mickitg 41-45, T 5 Responses Feb 1

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    I remember I was driving to work when I heard about the first one hitting.I turned up the stereo thinking,that's not a good joke.By the time I got there,I knew it wasn't a joke! Oh...
    eddiesolds eddiesolds 51-55, M 1 Response Feb 1

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    Everything was perfect like a fairy tale, but the nightmare was born. I remember that suddenly became very bright white and I have lost a significant part of my memory in my mind...
    Szolnok71 Szolnok71 36-40, M Feb 1

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    I know you won't be able to forget who I am. But there is a difference between forgetting someone's face and name, and forgetting what a person meant to you. I cherish our...
    sophiebelle27 sophiebelle27 26-30, F 3 Responses Feb 1

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    I have my dreams...everybody dreams...but what is life if you dont dream? nothing. but what my dream is...I want to be remembered. I want to be remembered. no. I want to be a...
    Nightshade721 Nightshade721 13-15, M 1 Response Jan 31

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    I remember the first time I was really spanked. He struck me repeatedly until he exclaimed, "Your bleeding". Scared I jumped up to run to the mirror to investigate. I was ok. Just...
    domagedangel domagedangel 41-45, F 1 Response Jan 31

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    Recalling yet another death. It just struck me and was highly unsettling. I was stabbed in the chest. The knife or blade or whatever it was pierced my heart directly. The first...
    Hush92 Hush92 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 30

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    I remember doing this.... I still do sometimes, as long as I know my dad isn't around. lol
    JTurner2002 JTurner2002 13-15, F 1 Response Jan 29

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    Truthfully, I listened to one song today and I had a day dream or vision that was so realistic. I faintly recall looking into a mirror at first I see is around 80 years old whit...
    Guy778 Guy778 70+, M Jan 29

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    I remember doing this so many times it was always fun unless mom caught me. then it want fun no more... until the next time I did it. lol
    bdawn36502 bdawn36502 13-15, F 1 Response Jan 29

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    This punishment was by my grandmother. When I was kid, I used to spend the weekend at my grandma's house. I had a bedwetting problem (and still occasionally do). One weekend...
    Elexxa Elexxa 22-25, T 1 Response Jan 29

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    A woman recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the counter...Then, while tracing her...
    Rusham Rusham 66-70, M 2 Responses Jan 28

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    Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short? A: So brunettes can remember them.
    coloco coloco 61-65, M Jan 27

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    There was a blonde who just got sick and tired of all the blonde jokes. One evening, she went home and memorized all the state capitals. Back in the office the next day, some guy...
    coloco coloco 61-65, M 1 Response Jan 27

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    I remember the night of the first Superbowl. We went to my Grandparents house and watched the game on their color TV. Fell asleep before game was over.
    rtiredsarge rtiredsarge 51-55, M Jan 27

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    i don't know what is love until i breakup...with her...i beed in so many relationship today I can count...she was not a sexy not so intelligent...like my other gf...but when i...
    nikhilgsharma nikhilgsharma 22-25, M Jan 27

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    I couldn't stop observing and watching my Twin Flame, when he sat by my left side in class. He being my physics teacher at that time. He never looked straight to my eyes in...
    DragonSheep DragonSheep 22-25, F Jan 27

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    *I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU*Remember when I was young and so were youand time stood still and love was all we knewYou were the first, so was IWe made love and then you criedRemember...
    NyxInvictus NyxInvictus 41-45 1 Response Jan 27