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I Do Not Remember Jokes

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 88 People

    Lawl

    I don't remember jokes at all. WHen people go and tell me a joke. I go to tell someone else but end up telling them a different version of the joke. Haha.
    ascs ascs 22-25, F 3 Responses Jun 15, 2009

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    I Only Remember A Few!

    It is hard for me to remember jokes, unless I write them down. This I read somewhere: "You are my best friend, but if the zombies are chasing us, I will trip you.". Cheers.
    xxxo222 xxxo222 46-50, F Sep 10, 2012

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    I Wish I Could...

    ... remember jokes! Even the shortest ones, when I'm convinced that I just cannot forget that one, I still do & it annoys me! I'm more like a spontaneous jokes, kinda silly & goofy, but not a joke teller. My mind is just not equipped for that role.
    misasja misasja 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 7, 2008

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    ?????

    . . . When Bill Gates died he went to heaven but asked St. Peter if he could return back home 'cause he'd forgotten something. . .  St. Peter adamantly said "NO!"  . . . Bill Gates insisted. . (scratches head) . . okay - so...
    Suckerpunch Suckerpunch 36-40 2 Responses May 27, 2008

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    It Is Very Annoying To Me

    I also have a problem with remembering jokes but I think that perhaps I have the worse kind of affliction. I will remember that I heard a joke about a particular topic but not remember it well enough to tell it. Then unfortunately if I hear the joke again, I will remember the...
    rhouse rhouse 41-45 Nov 30, 2011

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    Here Is One I Just Heard

    A hillbilly knocks on the door of his new neighbor's house."Howdy, neighbor," he says, "In honor of you movin' into the holler, I'm gonna throw a party. There's gonna be a whole lotta drinkin', a whole lotta dancin', and a whole lotta screwin'.""Sounds like fun!" the neighbor...
    SpiritOfTheRabbit SpiritOfTheRabbit 31-35, F 2 Responses Nov 30, 2011

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    Love Jokes And Riddles Too

    Absolutely love good jokes... but when others are telling theirs.. I have a hard time remembering them to retell.. don't know why that is...
    txwoman2 txwoman2 36-40, F Feb 12, 2010

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    Handicap

    My most adorable quality perhaps is that I don't remember jokes. If it is a good one, I will laugh a second time as if I never heard it before. Needless to say that some friends love that. I mean, that's what I think. The bad side of the coin is that I'm unable to tell a joke...
    moreandless moreandless 56-60, M 1 Response Nov 11, 2010

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    Related Experiences

    Ppl who have a significant impact on my life i always remember. i remember them like something pages in a book that I've memorized. If you're one of those ppl count urself lucky...
    000SadisticBitch000 000SadisticBitch000 31-35, F 10 hrs ago

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    Murphy's Mothers Laws : 1. Mothers only offer advice on two occasions: when you want it and when you don't.. 2. Your mother is the only person that knows more about you than you...
    BigAsset BigAsset 36-40, M 1 Response Aug 10

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    I remember both 3 1/2 inch and 5 1/4 inch floppy disks.
    OzarksTrucker OzarksTrucker 36-40, M 3 Responses 14 hrs ago

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    If we have meaningful talks...or share secrets...or just enjoyable conversation...hope you also remember me...
    LuckyGirl14 LuckyGirl14 26-30, F 1 Response 9 hrs ago

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    Third grade to be precise,... I remember she was going around letting all her favorites give her a kiss on her cheek. Her name was Tonya,.. It was sweet looking back on that in my...
    DaddyDouglas DaddyDouglas 41-45, M 16 mins ago

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    Jack strode into ‘John’s Stable’ looking to buy a horse. “Listen here” said John, “I’ve got just the horse your looking for, the only thing is, he was trained by an...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Aug 13

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    Remember when..... Remember when........ A computer was something on TV from a science fiction show of note a window was something you hated to clean and ram was the cousin...
    Brunette4U Brunette4U 31-35, F 3 Responses Aug 18

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    Religious jokes are my favorite kind of jokes They make me literally LOL and brighten up my days a little What's your favorite kind of jokes?
    AutoLove0 AutoLove0 22-25, F 2 Responses Aug 3

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    We all love a good joke. And recycled jokes are wonderful. When we hear a god joke we want to share it. We laughed and we want to see others laugh. And there's always that...
    FriendlyBryan FriendlyBryan 41-45, M 1 Response Aug 9

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    “Hey guys who wants to hear a blonde joke?” Said a blind old man after settling himself down on a stool in the bar. The question was met with dead silent After a few second...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Aug 13

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    This man was sitting quietly reading his paper one morning, peacefully enjoying himself, when his wife sneaks up behind him and wacks him on the back of his head with a huge...
    Mike9272 Mike9272 41-45, M 3 Responses Aug 4

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    What Men Really Mean  "It's a guy thing." Really means...."There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical." "Can I...
    Mike9272 Mike9272 41-45, M 4 Responses Aug 4

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    What women mean when they say  1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. 2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed...
    Mike9272 Mike9272 41-45, M 4 Responses Aug 4

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    I can't remember if I heard this offline or I saw it here, but I'll post it anyway. A drunk walks out of a bar and ends up talking to two priests. He tells them "I'm Jesus Christ...
    InternationalDarkness InternationalDarkness 13-15, F 2 Responses Aug 8

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    A young ventriloquist touring the clubs is doing a show in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, the goes through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in...
    fetish27 fetish27 46-50, F 6 Responses Aug 12

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    Just remember, if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
    tamarah74 tamarah74 36-40, F Aug 12

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    An American is in Singapore for a short stay. He gets into a cab and asks the driver to show him the sights. The cabby first takes him to Orchard Road. "What's that?" says the...
    illusionlife illusionlife 36-40, F 11 Responses Aug 13

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    Things Dogs Must Try To Remember I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet. The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff. I do not need to...
    Brunette4U Brunette4U 31-35, F 1 Response Aug 15

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    What did grandpa say to grandma? I can't remember. What do you call a blind dinosaur? Do-you-think-he-saurus What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese. What do you...
    HappensForAReason HappensForAReason 13-15, M Aug 16

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    Once these girls tried to bully me when I was little, but I thought that they're jokes about me were funny, so I laughed with them... Idk I was just a happy child :-)
    josephineclaire josephineclaire 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 16

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    9 Months Later Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Aug 16

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    There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half an hour. Then, this big trouble making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Aug 16

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    An officer pulls over an man in his car because the officer sees the man is NOT wearing his seat belt. The officer writes the man a ticket, generally a $200 fine. The man grumbles...
    thinkin123 thinkin123 46-50, F 3 Responses Aug 17

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    You always remember your first Crush. Mine was orange.
    illusionlife illusionlife 36-40, F 5 Responses Aug 18

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    Answering Machine Messages Actual answering machine answers recorded and verified by the world famous International Institute of Answering Machine Answers. (From a machine at...
    Brunette4U Brunette4U 31-35, F 1 Response Aug 18

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    It seems that this old couple are having trouble remembering things, so they sign up for a memory course. The course is wonderful; they come home and tell all their relatives...
    Brunette4U Brunette4U 31-35, F Aug 18

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    Too much Coffee You know you're drinking too much coffee when... You answer the door before people knock. Juan Valdez named his donkey after you. You ski uphill. You grind...
    Brunette4U Brunette4U 31-35, F 1 Response Aug 18

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    A guy in S.C.was driving his car and stopped for a red light when a car full of isil wannabes pulled up beside him. He noticed a burnt American flag on the antennae and a remember...
    ccrider63 ccrider63 61-65, M Aug 21

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    A pounding on the door wakes a couple in the middle of a stormy night. The guy gets up and answers it to a stranger who asks him for a push. 'What! You barmy, man? It's the...
    jenga1 jenga1 46-50, F 8 Responses Aug 22

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    Here's a few one liners to chew on. I bought a train ticket today and the driver said, 'Eurostar ' 'Well I've been on the TV but I'm no Dean Martin' I then phoned the gym and...
    jason230868 jason230868 36-40, M 2 Responses Aug 22

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    I've surely gotten old! I've had two bypass Surgeries, a hip replacement New knees, fought prostate cancer And diabetes. I'm half blind,can't hear Anything quieter than a jet...
    JEEZ19 JEEZ19 41-45, F 1 Response Aug 23

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    Unengaged Brain PLEASE ENGAGE BRAIN BEFORE SPEAKING Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny...
    Brunette4U Brunette4U 31-35, F 2 Responses Aug 24

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    Actual Court Sayings! 30 things people actually said in court Question 1. Q: What is your date of birth? A: July 15th Q: What year? A: Every year. Question 2. Q: What...
    Brunette4U Brunette4U 31-35, F 1 Response a week ago

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    What men say & what it "really means"! "I'm going fishing." Really means..."I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while...
    Brunette4U Brunette4U 31-35, F a week ago

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    Women have more imagination than men. They need it to tell men how wonderful they are. • Women have a number of faults. Men have only two – everything they say and everything...
    hancockian hancockian 66-70, M 5 Responses 6 days ago

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    Medicare Part G You're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing home care available for you. So what do you do? Our plan gives anyone 65 years, or...
    DanCan1 DanCan1 56-60, M 1 Response 4 days ago

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    Chuck Norris does not wear a condom because there is no protection from Chuck Norris. source: http://www.jokes4us.com/celebrityjokes/chucknorrisjokes.html
    Lefty39 Lefty39 46-50, M Aug 6

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    I see a lot of I like jokes read them and they are not funny. Well neither is this, but this was not meant to be a joke.
    liveitover liveitover 41-45, M 1 Response Aug 7

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    nothing to do with jokes, but who knows of a few good "mommy ****" writers?
    cimky cimky 31-35, F 1 Response Aug 8

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    "Yo mama is so old when I asked her to act her age...she freaking died!" "Yo mama is SO fat she got done for carrying 200 pounds of crack!" The rest of my jokes are just too rude...
    TargetAimShootKill TargetAimShootKill 13-15, F 2 Responses Aug 11