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I Don't Exist

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 70 People

    I Get Mad At Myself Because I Still Can't Get It Though My Head

    That I don't matter. I keep trying to and sometimes get to a point that I think I do. Then whenever I show just a little self esteem it comes crashing back to me that I am different from other people and I have to stay in the shadows and just go along in life being a doormat...
    GiGiLafoo GiGiLafoo 46-50, F Mar 13, 2010

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    Antidepressants Erased My Soul

    I no longer exist thanks to antidepressants, which have completely destroyed my soul. Here is my story: EP Link
    DeVoid DeVoid 31-35, M May 2, 2011

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    Invisible...

    I am invisible. I do not exist outside of my own mind. I am just a figment of your imagination. Do not speak to the imaginary person standing next to you as you critisize her every being, laughing at what is left of her soul... It won't hurt anyone.. For I do not exist
    FolsomOrchid FolsomOrchid 26-30, F Jul 31, 2008

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    Je N'existe Pas...

    car je suis le vide . . . . . . .
    Vide Vide 21-25, M Nov 27, 2007

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    Fawlessly Orchestrated Illusion

    I don't exist, It is true. I am just a picture in your mind based on whatever limited sense of knowledge you have about me and your emotional reaction to those vague images. It doesn't really matter if you met me once in passing or if you are my lover, for no matter how elaborate...
    CopperCoil CopperCoil 36-40, M 6 Responses Jul 11, 2008

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    LIke I Was Never There

    Now i normaly feel this way but right now it is really bothering me because right now i am on this website that i go on and u can chat with people and see them. This guy that was trying to be friends wit and i were talking then all of a sudden more people come in and i dont exist...
    Darkfarey Darkfarey 18-21, F 5 Responses Jul 25, 2009

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    Seriously

    Not such a bad thing, seeming how it takes the pressure off of many things.... Don't know when it started, maybe its an obvious consequence of losing interest in everything and alienating myself from people... I am severed from everything and my life is just that...a life, not...
    TurbulentDiffusion TurbulentDiffusion 22-25, M 2 Responses Jun 12, 2011

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    Thats the One

    after a year of deep and meaningful thought i reached the conclusion that i do not exist, simply due to the fact that this illusion of existence is so pointless and painful that if it was real i wont be able to cope with it. it may not be sane but it works.
    Arktos Arktos 16-18, M Mar 25, 2008

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    My Brother

    He's only half, on my mom's side. He had it rough as a kid and uses it as an excuse to completely ignore me. He had to go overseas when I was in high school. I sometimes wish he had died there and spare me these negative thoughts that are overwhelming.
    Bridgernin Bridgernin 22-25, F 1 Response May 27, 2012

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    There In No Me In Reality, And There Is No You Either

    The thought of a ME that exists. Is only a thought that is happening RIGHT NOW. there is actually no ME in reality. Its like this, the thought of a unicorn appears, does that make the unicorn itself exist in reality no the only thing that exists in reality is the THOUGHT of a...
    BodhiSvaha BodhiSvaha 22-25, M 9 Responses Jan 2, 2011

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    Nothing

    In this world I am nothing. :'(
    Haruhi16 Haruhi16 16-17 2 Responses Sep 7, 2012

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    I Don't Have A Life... Therefore I Don't Exist

    I'm not even in my right state of mind right now, so this is just rambling. I'm not even concentrating. This won't make any sense. I've been in the military for almost a year now, and I've always knew I never mattered to anyone before then. It wasn't until now that I just don't...
    jf31 jf31 22-25, M 2 Responses Feb 20, 2011

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    The Mind's I Does Not Appear In The Mirror

    When I look in the mirror I see all these eyes and mouth and stuff, and when I look into my past I see all these actions, friends, enemies, events, etc. I'm nothing of that. I'm freedom, I'm consciousness. I'm the will to do or not even try. I'm the consciousness that allows for...
    SeaofThought SeaofThought 36-40, M Nov 18, 2010

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    Related Experiences

    I seem to be a ghost among the living. I might as well live the (after)life of a ghost. It's just so hard to go on
    Caramelheart Caramelheart 16-17, M Apr 1

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    Ever since this girl first walked into our school for the first time, I couldn't take my eyes off her, and I know I probably wasn't the only one gazing at her beauty. Through my...
    elugo123456789 elugo123456789 18-21, M Apr 4

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    Ever since this girl first walked into our school for the first time, I couldn't take my eyes off her, and I know I probably wasn't the only one gazing at her beauty. Through my...
    elugo123456789 elugo123456789 18-21, M Apr 4

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    Ever since this girl first walked into our school for the first time, I couldn't take my eyes off her, and I know I probably wasn't the only one gazing at her beauty. Through my...
    elugo123456789 elugo123456789 18-21, M Apr 6

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    Ever since this girl first walked into our school for the first time, I couldn't take my eyes off her, and I know I probably wasn't the only one gazing at her beauty. Through my...
    elugo123456789 elugo123456789 18-21, M 4 Responses Apr 8

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    I don't believe in evolution. The theory sounds intelligent when propounded by leading scientists, but in the end it all falls flat to a laughable extent. Well, where to start...
    darkanddesolate darkanddesolate 16-17, F 4 Responses 5 days ago

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    I hate to stereotype God as some deity who takes pleasure in our suffering or humilation. Or God who claims to love us but does not interfere in the affairs of humans and sits upon...
    FainofHearts FainofHearts 22-25, M 2 Responses Apr 1

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    to my old school in my home country. My parents have a job that involve me to move back and forth between North America and Asia. I've lived in Asia for almost my whole life, and...
    helpmeplzzz helpmeplzzz 16-17, F 11 hrs ago

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    (Mild Trigger Warning. Don't read if you don't like.) Staring out to the clouds, I wish that I could be with you. Why do you have to be so far away, far away that you are but a...
    DisembodiedLied DisembodiedLied 18-21, F Apr 10

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    What happens after we die? In honesty, I think that we just shut down, just like a computer with no power. We still exist, except we have no power to actually process anything, our...
    ThatGuyOverThere7 ThatGuyOverThere7 18-21, M 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    I don't really have a religion. Although my family are huge Christians. But religion in my opinion is a huge hypocrisy in its self. Like hating something that doesn't hurt people...
    EmotionaLila EmotionaLila 13-15, F 5 hrs ago

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    Lies. sometimes I notice them, but I'll keep it to myself. I don't always see the need to call someone out on it. I'm sure everyone has their reasons. If it's not causing anyone...
    TheBadgeringWitness TheBadgeringWitness 70+ 3 hrs ago

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    I wish, I didn't exist. I want, nobody to worry about me. I hope, I get to rest one day. I need, for you to let me go. I don't, want you to be hurt by me. I dream, they day I can...
    Kitzami Kitzami 13-15, M Mar 21

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    I've never been "daddy's little girl" and I don't think I ever will. I can never seem to get along with my father in any way at all. I have three sisters, and they don't help that...
    mcsunshine09 mcsunshine09 13-15, F Mar 22

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    I've got a lot to say, so I guess I'll just start, and finish whenever I finish. None of my memories are special. I don't have memory of anything that was extra special, or...
    JHomesick JHomesick 18-21, M Mar 20

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    I have demonstrated I don't care about the pervert EP community that don't like I get their stories remove that promote ********* content. They are upset they don't have the same...
    ChillyWilly82 ChillyWilly82 31-35, M Mar 27

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    The most beautiful knowledge to have is the knowledge of not knowing. There are things in this world I can't possibly know of, let alone comprehend. The truth is, most of us don...
    LaurenJFisher LaurenJFisher 22-25 Mar 25

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    I don't know.. I guess it don't really believe in love. As a child I did, but with each year I mature, I stray away from the thought. If it exists, it's more like extreme...
    TaylorNicoleee TaylorNicoleee 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 29

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    This started a 2 months ago, people from the Book of Mormon started to show at my door and of course I let them in, cause I really love to know more about everything. They came...
    bosslim bosslim 18-21, M Mar 31

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    lost- I'm beyond high right now and have been awake for days on end smoking and shooting up meth, like always. my arms are numb from missing my veins. my whole body feels warm...
    addictionbarbie addictionbarbie 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 1

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    I am basically just an agnostic. I guess I don't necessarily not believe in heaven but I don't think it's very likely to exist
    Rebecca12K Rebecca12K 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 30

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    I am sorry to say so but I dislike America. Not American people (I have some good friends there) but the country. And I know this is a bit of an online suicide, but try to...
    LunaOanaAris LunaOanaAris 16-17, F 3 Responses Apr 6

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    Is it over?,why do I feel I have failed?,I'm just 26 years old,but I feel like I'm living the last years of my pitiful and insignificant existence.I never had true friends nor was...
    theWolfUndertheMoon theWolfUndertheMoon 22-25 1 day ago

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    Sadly, I live in a state that still exist. Was at Buffalo Wild Wings, and was trying to park, but this truck was in the way of an open parking spot. I honked my horn 4 this person...
    HottRoddTX HottRoddTX 26-30, M 1 Response Mar 25

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    Perfection doesn't exist. I am not trying to be perfect, I don't seek perfection in people, you are who you are.
    voslung voslung 36-40, M 1 Response Mar 29

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    I trusted before, of course! but not that fully wholly trust that makes you pour your soul out to the one you trust! and I guess I'll never fine someone like that.. not ever. In...
    00Wieme00 00Wieme00 16-17, F Mar 30

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    My entire family is Christian except for me, and honestly, they don't even stop to think about the things they say. Me and my mom were talking about the mudslide in DC. In the...
    KeithPrice94 KeithPrice94 18-21, M 11 Responses Mar 30

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    During middle school and the beginning of high school I was one of the most popular girls at school, now it's like I don't even exist.
    aabostwick aabostwick 16-17, F Apr 7

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    My boyfriend has probably the nicest, calmest, most beautiful and well behaved dog I've ever met... and I still don't care for it. Basically the dog takes precedence over me in...
    venusbee venusbee 41-45, F 2 Responses Apr 10

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    Why is it so hard to just tell me what it is that I've done wrong. What could I have possibly done wrong to have you not return my calls and messages all of a sudden after a life...
    LadyCinephile LadyCinephile 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 10

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    I'm currently at the point where I couldn't care less about what I'm doing in grad school. I have two major assignments due in five minutes for a class, and I haven't even started...
    firefly1991 firefly1991 22-25, F Apr 10

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    To everyone on this site: you make the world a better place. Regardless of who you are, who you've been or what you've done. I don't know if this site makes me happy or sad. So...
    hannahlyn5 hannahlyn5 18-21, F 1 day ago

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    I don't know what it is about me, but people just institutionally turn against me for reasons I never find out, if the person ever actually knows why they hate me. Every time. I...
    faeriefate faeriefate 18-21 Mar 23

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    It's difficult everyday just looking at myself in the mirror. Currently I'm emotionally drained because I don't feel accepted by anybody and my family does not understand me so I...
    AngelK2010 AngelK2010 22-25, F Apr 4

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    I don't feel connected. I can speak and act and pretend, but I don't feel it. And I don't know what connected feels like. Not really. I can't keep a relationship. I've lost...
    RichardQ RichardQ 41-45, M 1 Response Apr 5

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    I don't favour hatred. I don't favour silence I don't favour falling for the tricks of the "Damned ones" I don't favour I don't know I don't favour damning people or damning things...
    Denzebarrrn Denzebarrrn 16-17, M Apr 6

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    Hello guys, I hope you're all doing well. I sort of hesitated about the idea of posting my experience here but I decided to do so. I sort of think that I have been a schizoid my...
    Bloodyshrines Bloodyshrines 13-15, F 2 Responses Apr 10

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    I'm a 16 year old girl. My whole life I have been trying to make my parents proud, but I've never been able to socialize properly with kids my age, I was always numb or upset...
    AGirlSearchingForAnswers AGirlSearchingForAnswers 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 10

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    It is not that I don't have friends or that I don't talk to people or that I don't go out, because I do. I've never felt comfortable anywhere. The thing that helps me is that I...
    MadameLeRapeur MadameLeRapeur 18-21, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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