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I Don't Get Offended If a Man Holds a Door Open For Me

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 675 People

    Affronted Door

    I was a Sophomore in college when I first experienced a woman taking offense to My holding a door for her. I was entering the cafeteria and noticed a woman about fifteen feet behind me, naturally I waited and held the door. She was so angry that I did so that she actually...
    MasterSeb MasterSeb 41-45, M 4 Responses Jan 5, 2012

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    I Am Flattered.

    When a man wants to do something for me other than hold my legs open.  Then again, I am not one of these "New age men hating feminists".  I am quite old fashioned.  Chivalry is not dead in my books.
    urbrandofheroin urbrandofheroin 22-25, F 7 Responses May 11, 2009

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    It's Good Manners.

    I don't understand why anyone would be offended by politeness.  I hold the door open for others, men and women alike, and I appreciate it in return. Chivalry is not dead!
    angeleyes2009 angeleyes2009 41-45, F 6 Responses May 14, 2009

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    I don't think many women do.

    I certainly will hold the door open for a man or woman, especially if they're considerably older than me. It's not something I even really think about doing. My boyfriend still opens doors for me. I think it's sweet. And even if he doesn't, I don't really get offended. I guess...
    fairytalesandspiderwebs fairytalesandspiderwebs 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 30

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    Who Gets Offended?

    Chivalry is pretty much dead anymore, when you find a guy that has his manners about him that will hold the door for ya, don't be offended just realize he was raised right and had decency to treat you like a lady. It's such a rare thing anymore it still shocks me after being...
    mzjen mzjen 26-30, F Oct 11, 2013

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    Three Sons

    We have three sons, ages 23, 21, and 11. They were all taught by their Daddy, to be gentlemen. They get complimented on it too. We just had a conversation with the 2 daughters Friday night about this. We will be hitting dating age soon with one of them. Daddy told them they are...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Apr 13, 2011

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    I DONT. Okay that makes a gentleman in this

    world. Okay. That's really hard to find....no offense guys but serious DAFUQ. Stop being all I'm so damn cool. And I'll say this just to get to know u if ya know what I mean. Not saying all but many are just noooooooo.
    Diana14R Diana14R 18-21, F Apr 5

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    Longing

    Actually I would like it. Just once it would be nice to meet a guy with such manners and respect. I long to be treated like a lady.
    fullfigureozchick fullfigureozchick 18-21, F 4 Responses Jul 21, 2009

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    Equal Rights Ladies? You Fought For 'em Remember?

    Chivilarys dead and on the couch, where we made men sleep last night. We as women can expect men to give up seats, or open doors, or pay full amounts, because WE GAVE UP THAT RIGHT WHEN WE WANTED EQUAL RIGHTS!   Therefore it's not 'unacceptable' for a man to not open a...
    Flicksy Flicksy 18-21, F Jul 21, 2009

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    Why would anyone get offended.

    It just makes the guy look more like a gentleman.
    Inlovewithtecher Inlovewithtecher 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 5

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    Chivilry Is Not Lost, Especially Here In The South.

    I have always been lucky to have guys run to get the door for me. I always try to remember to smile, look him in the eye, and say "Thank you very much" when a man hurries to the door to reach and open it for me. That really puts me in a good mood. It is almost like that is the...
    wonderingkitten wonderingkitten 31-35, F Aug 6, 2010

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    It Has Nothing To Do With Gender

    Alright, uber-feminists, simmer down. It's just common courtesy for someone to hold the door open for you, and you should take it as what it is- a kind gesture.
    SpiritOfTheRabbit SpiritOfTheRabbit 31-35, F May 12, 2011

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    I Was Raised To Believe This Is Just How It's Done

    It is just part of good etiquette.  In school I heard teachers telling boys that gentlemen open doors for ladies.  My Momma told me when I went on dates to be sure to wait for him to open doors for me so show I was a lady.  She also discouraged me from...
    GSWife GSWife 51-55 1 Response Apr 14, 2010

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    I would get offended

    if a guy doesn't hold a door open for me.
    REALWORDS823 REALWORDS823 16-17, F Mar 30

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    Offended?

    I didn't know that anyone became offended if a man held the door open for them. If so, why would they? It's called having manners and being respectful. I like having the door held open for me and offering a smile and saying thank you. I guess it depends how you were raised, but...
    MidnightBlossom MidnightBlossom 22-25, F 4 Responses Apr 15, 2010

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    Are You Kidding Me?

    If a guy opened the door for me I'd just about melt!
    CrazyHippieChick CrazyHippieChick 18-21, F 29 Responses Nov 24, 2010

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    Please Do

    I love when a man (or a woman for that matter) holds the door open for me.  I live in the South and it is something that we do for each other frequently.  If I get to the door first, generally I will hold the door for my entire group to walk through and I will follow...
    fungirlmmm fungirlmmm 41-45, F 16 Responses May 11, 2009

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    Just Be A Mensch.

    I am only offended if that man holds the door for me, but allows it to close in the face of an elderly person.  The idea of the chivalric code is awesome.  Using it to get laid is just not as awesome.
    RascallyRabbit RascallyRabbit 31-35, F 3 Responses Feb 14, 2011

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    Due To Being Disabled

    men holding a door open for me while i hobble in using a cart makes it easier for me to get in the building. be it store without auto doors or a garage. i used to hold and still sometimes do hold doors for people. no gender in being polite.
    djredneck7269 djredneck7269 51-55, M Sep 10, 2012

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    Why Should I?

    I appreciate gentlemanlike behavior.  I expect all men to act like gentlemen.  Whether they do or not is up to them.  If it is a doorman to a building who opens the door, that it his job for which he gets paid.  If he helps me with my packages of course, I thank him for doing...
    WildSpectrumArts WildSpectrumArts 46-50, F Jul 19, 2011

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    So Nice

    Being from the South I find when a man holds a door open, tips his hat, says mam, allows you to enter a room first, puts his had in the small of your back or takes your arm to help lead and guide you into a room very respectful and a major turn on. It seems to day far too many...
    Grits4life Grits4life 46-50, F 1 Response Aug 27, 2011

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    Not a Bit

    ...in fact it doesn't matter if it is a man woman or child.  It is a simple act of kindness and I appreciate it.  I reciprocate whenever given the chance.  I never expect it so it is always a nice gesture and I wish there were more people like that these days. ...
    juswanablvd juswanablvd 26-30, F 1 Response May 13, 2009

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    I Am Spoiled

    I don't get offended if they hold the door open for me but if they DON'T then I might get angry if we are together. I know that my husband, brother, and father will always open the door for me and I have come to expect this from all the men in my life. They have spoiled me.
    SensualIntelligence SensualIntelligence 31-35, F 6 Responses Aug 6, 2010

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    I Love How People Think It's Sexist Even Though I Do It For Basically Everyone.

    My mother taught me right. I suck at saying "Thank you" but that is on me. I fell out of practice... on the flip: I open doors for anyone who looks friendly. Man, woman, Old, Young, doesn't matter. 
    ManifestoOfThePhoenix ManifestoOfThePhoenix 26-30, M Sep 10, 2012

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    Seriously...

    ....are there women out there that get offended when a man holds a door open? Are they offended when you offer to pay for dinner as well? There are times when I'm obviously not too far behind a man and he opens the door, walks in, and it slams in my face....THAT offends me. I...
    OMGitsRiley OMGitsRiley 26-30, F 1 Response Jul 14, 2012

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    The other day I went to a store

    and somehow this black man (don't get me wrong) I am not raises but he was at the door first than me and I was surprise that he open the door to me like a total gentlemen and it made me feel good. I am not say that black man have bad manners but I am saying that mostly all race...
    LaBonita8790s LaBonita8790s 26-30, F 2 Responses Jan 17

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    Open the Door to Manners...

    I don't get offended, in fact I adore it. One, I use a motorised chair for mobility and Two it's darling and chivalrous. Thank you!
    TheRealWoman TheRealWoman 31-35, F 19 Responses May 11, 2009

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    Of Course Not!

    I don't mind at all if someone holds the door for me! But then again, I've held the door for men too.
    MrsKateBrown MrsKateBrown 36-40, F 4 Responses Feb 2, 2010

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    And I Never Will

    Chivalry is so refreshing nowadays :)
    ArabellaBlythe ArabellaBlythe 18-21, F 3 Responses Sep 29, 2009

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    Call me old fashioned,

    but that is just proper manners for man to hold the door open for a woman. It seems like etiquette does not exist like it used to. Bring back the manners.
    toots01 toots01 56-60, F 2 Responses Jan 12

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    People complain that chivalry is dead,

    and then concurrently complain about a lack of independents. Chivalry does not always challenge your independents; sometimes it is just courteously.
    Kwiza Kwiza 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 12

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    allisonslim allisonslim 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 30

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    Who Would?

    I love a man who's a true gentlemen. A man with manners and respect for women. I love it when a strange man holds a door for me in public. Of course I never just stand, wait, and expect it. But it's nice when men do it just because you're a lady. Now I'm not too good to open...
    LG76 LG76 36-40, F 4 Responses Sep 26, 2011

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    Like A Lady ...

    I admire gentlemen .. It feels so great when a man hold the door opens for me .. feel like a lady ...
    DollyDiva DollyDiva 22-25, F 8 Responses Feb 2, 2010

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    I Love It!!!!!

    Chivalry is not dead! Hold a door for me,  open a car door for me, help me with my coat or my chair or carry something heavy for me. I absolutely love it when a man does this for me. Nothing sexier when he steps up just to be nice but it is not necessary. It's a common...
    Josie06 Josie06 56-60, F 12 Responses May 12, 2009

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    Quite the Opposite.

    Yeah, i just dont get it. What's there to be offended about that a man opened a door for you? i dont see the problem. yeah i know equal rights etc etc. but why does chivalry have to be dead and what's wrong with someone trying to be a gentleman? that's a great quality in a guy...
    aj555 aj555 18-21, F 3 Responses Jul 24, 2009

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    Not At All

    I definitely don't get offended if a guy holds the door open for me. Around here, everyone holds the door open for everyone else & no one seems to ever get offended by it. I've held the door open for 40 year old men & I've even had five year old girls hold the door open for me...
    lyricalongings lyricalongings 31-35, F 1 Response Apr 24, 2010

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    Because You Are A Lady?

    `I hope you didn`t hold that door for me just because I`m a Lady?`, I was asked some years ago when I was an RAF Officer....`No Madam, I did it because I am a Gentleman!` My response was as cutting as I could make it and did leave the `lady` at a loss for words!
    SquadronLeader SquadronLeader 61-65, M 6 Responses Oct 25, 2013

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    I Really Like It

    I don't get offended if a man holds a door open for me, in fact I think its great! I also like it if a man carries something heavy for me or offers me his seat. It very rarely happens actually so maybe that's why I like it because it feels gentlemanly and good mannered and deep...
    Lilacpearl Lilacpearl 31-35, F 1 Response Sep 17, 2013

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    Courtesy Is Great :)

    Whether you are male or female it is polite to open the door for people, I do it all the time. I don't think there is anything patronizing about having manners.I also appreciate people who do these things for me :)
    deleted deleted 26-30 Nov 16, 2012

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    Sadly Not Expected Behavior Anymore

    When I was growing up I always had certain ideas about how men should treat women and how women should treat men. One of the things I always adored was the idea of chivalry; holding the door for a lady, running around the other side of the car to let her out, giving her a hand to...
    AmericanLeanings AmericanLeanings 31-35, F 2 Responses Sep 2, 2011

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    Its The Sweetest Thing Ever

    I don't see how a girl can possibly be offended by such a small gesture. Its not like they are saying you can't open a measly door. Some people just don't appreciate help, or kindness. I go to a pretty big college, with big and heavy doors. I am not the biggest girl around, I am...
    happyinmyskin happyinmyskin 18-21, F Jan 31, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    <3 & I don't even look at your *** True gentleman ( ̄ー ̄)
    Mewkittyx3 Mewkittyx3 18-21, M 2 Responses Apr 4

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    Well not that I don't have any, i do have a number of friends I'm close to. It's just that it's really hard for me to get close to someone. I try to be sincerely nice all the time...
    littlederps littlederps 18-21, F Apr 7

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    Girls scare me. At this age, so many of them are nasty and will gossip about you. But the boys my age tend to be more fun and forgiving, so I've found befriending boys much easier...
    reversi reversi 13-15, F Mar 20

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    It is pretty hard for me to make friends. I am very shy and indecisive. I enjoy staying home often and lazing around and am not a big fan of loud and crowded places like parties...
    Kingme1234 Kingme1234 22-25, M 3 Responses Mar 20

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    not knowing how to express yourself is the biggest hurdle in making friends. unluckily for me, expressing myself has never been a skill of mine.
    maggieee5086 maggieee5086 13-15, F 4 Responses Mar 23

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    Excellent Bob Marley song, as well as a real feeling. There's someone out there for everyone, so whoever you are, come find me!
    Buzzy959 Buzzy959 16-17, M Mar 22

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    I HATE WHEN PEOPLE ARE SORRY FOR ME. I mean I have been raped 4 time I was beaten by my 6exs I have been shot I have been stabbed 12 time. But that makes me who I am. And I love...
    SECRETOFLOVE SECRETOFLOVE 16-17, F Mar 24

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    I'm a cashier at Wal-mart (newbie) and it was my first day to do it alone. I'm more used to digital design work. Not standing around and dealing with money.
    eunhaelee eunhaelee 26-30, F Apr 5

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    I worked as an assistant to a property manager for a larger company. I was given the task of hiring a maintenance man. I did and he seemed like a nice guy. He did have a past...
    fawnbrown1 fawnbrown1 41-45, F Mar 30

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    I am already in my early twenties and I still get bothered and stressed out that my parents don't like each other. Ever since we were little, though they didn't fight in front of...
    ayumiofaries ayumiofaries 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 2

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    you do not know me, and I do not know you, so why do you want to judge me ? till I have lived your live, I would never judge you. on EP are so many different people, feelings...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Apr 5

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    Not only do I not understand dating, I guess I just don't understand people. Forget dating...Everyone wants to "hang out" at your house or text conversations! I mean really...
    BrandNewOne BrandNewOne 31-35, F Mar 28

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    About 8-9 months ago, I was headed up the ladder with my career. I was managing a baby store, getting ready to take it over or move higher when I began to have seizures. They...
    DebbieCakes38 DebbieCakes38 36-40, F 2 Responses Apr 6

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