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I Don't Know How to Break Down My Defensive Wall

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 96 People

    I Just Don't Know How To Fix It

    Hey, I'm in a relationship with this guy who loves me and I live him back, but I can't give him or anyone in my life my complete love because it's guarded by a wall. This wall is so strong, it sometimes feels like it's phycically there. History:  I haven't always been...
    Lyssmix Lyssmix 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 27, 2010

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    Life After Abuse

    I was also abused in a 11 year marriage and have two great kids from that time. I have been hiding behind my kids, work, college. I managed to get my bachelor's degree with an online university. I've been divorced for over 6 years. A few nice men have asked me out, but I...
    michlhi michlhi 41-45 1 Response Aug 11, 2010

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    Cold Dark Mask :D

    i hid my emotions. i never let it out. because if i did she wouldn't tell me how she was feeling. i was down but still more stable then she was. i now really struggle to get rid of my emotion . i can express it but i bottle it up and up and just cant get rid of it ! >.<...
    MiskaMaskedOne MiskaMaskedOne 18-21 Sep 26, 2013

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    Here is Practical Explanation about Next Life,

    Purpose of Human Life, philosophical/religious facts, theories etc. ___________________________ *********** Practical Explanation ( For Example ) :- `1st of all can you tell me every single seconds detail from that time when you born ?? ( i need every seconds detail ?? that what...
    bolt0 bolt0 22-25, M Dec 8, 2013

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    At Long Last

    I fell in love with my current boyfriend back when I was 12.  We never dated through out high school, and later in life he broke my heart.   I've since created a wall around my heart.  For the first time, we actually started a relationship with each other. ...
    NoOneOfConsequence NoOneOfConsequence 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 20, 2008

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    Looking For a Job

    I hate being a teenager looking for a job. I walk into a store that looks promising, a store that looks as though it is hiring, with head held up high. But then I walk inside the store itself and boom! It's like all my self-confidence has flown into the ionosphere. I don't...
    rustyguy rustyguy 18-21, M 1 Response Sep 3, 2008

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    Instincts

    I do not know how to tear down walls that have been built by unconscious processes. In all honesty, I don't think I would want to break down my walls.  They are there for a reason.  They are there to protect me.  They are the result of time and of lessons learned.  No longer...
    permafrost21 permafrost21 22-25, F 2 Responses Aug 22, 2012

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    How Do You Trust Enough, and How Do I Handle the Pain That Is Bound to Come?

    Every time my wall comes down, I end up getting hurt ... and I don't mean just a little hurt, no, the real thing When I let people in, I really let them in, and more often then not, I get the sand kicked in my eyes.
    kinkitty kinkitty 36-40, F 50 Responses Apr 27, 2008

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    Related Experiences

    Ok to make this brief, my husbands stepsister is the person who introduced us. When I actually started going out with him she did a complete U-turn and became quiet nasty. By the...
    hopingformiracles hopingformiracles 22-25 1 Response Aug 17

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    I don't know how to flirt. Nor even do I want to Say what you mean, mean what you say is how I like to live.
    dontcareforlabels dontcareforlabels 41-45, M 1 Response Aug 30

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    I really don't know how to flirt and reciprocate to flirt. any one good in that?
    Saarikaa Saarikaa 36-40, F 15 Responses Aug 26

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    I want one and need one but don't know how to ask plz help
    livelovehopefree livelovehopefree 13-15, F 2 Responses Sep 5

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    I don't know if I should answer him "yes", because I don't know which is which, is it because I love him or pity him? I don't even know what should I feel about him right now...
    Misaki7590 Misaki7590 16-17, F Aug 22

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    I want to help people but its hard. I can barely help myself. I have so many issues too. When I go to get some "me" time I end up leaving my friends to suffer alone. I feel so bad...
    ponycupcake ponycupcake 18-21, F 6 Responses Aug 22

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    So the past year has been a lot of changes. 5 different jobs, homeless for 3 months, and finally settled into a new apartment. But I'm still just lost. Bouncing around, not knowing...
    Humming247 Humming247 22-25, F 3 Responses Sep 6

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    Everytime someone flirts with me I'm flattered and all and I want to flirt back but something in me panics and I stop responding and I don't know I feel like it makes me look...
    MossPrincess MossPrincess 13-15, F 5 days ago

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    Honestly I need I girlfriend. I don't know why but the girls at my school always go for the douches while the actual popular people (im a part of) get none of them. Im nice, I care...
    GingaJustice GingaJustice 13-15, M Aug 21

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    I do but I don't . I mean I can do it professionally if its beneficial to my wallet or my performance but if I like someone or think theyre attractive I lose all positive social...
    Alylovespuppies Alylovespuppies 16-17, F Aug 17

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    So this is a weird situation this is more of a question than a story but ok I'm only 13 I've never had a bf never had my first kiss nothing...my 11 year old friend has a 14 year...
    kathie2000 kathie2000 13-15, F 3 Responses Aug 25

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    I'm not even sure if I really really like him, but he's on my mind so much. But I don't want to make a move, because I don't want to give in to this temptation; I know the outcome...
    averagecomplicatedhuman averagecomplicatedhuman 18-21, F Aug 30

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    I think this experience thread is a little one sided and hypocritical. Firstly, every person has a limit of stress and pain that they can handle, which to them when pushed beyond...
    AnonR AnonR 70+, T 1 Response Sep 1

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    I know that probably sounds absurd. I'm not sure why, and I have taken notice to it, but do not know how to change the way I address them! Maybe it's social anxiety/awkwardness...
    JaidIsAWildflower JaidIsAWildflower 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 6

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    Yes I've been complemented. I've been called pretty the occasional cute, I've even been told I'm perfect (witch I don't believe) but even tho I get compliments I never know how to...
    internetrodo internetrodo 13-15, F 1 Response Sep 7

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    It's never as easy as just saying "thank you". I already don't think much of myself and I don't want anyone else to think so either. Saying "thank you" typically indicates that the...
    JustAnotherHuman34 JustAnotherHuman34 18-21, M 1 Response 5 days ago

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    I get nervous when someone tells me a compliment. I just say "Thank you" without saying anything else. I do not like to show off or get any kind of attention about myself, so I...
    s4019t s4019t 26-30, M 1 Response Aug 18

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    I think my girlfriend likes to seduce her dad. He compliments her allot. She wears no bra when we are going to be around him and really short skirts or shorts with no panties on...
    MrSecretGuy MrSecretGuy 31-35, M Aug 22

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    Strange guy: Hey, you are cute. Me: Emmm.... Do we know each other? Strange guy: Eh... no... i just wanted to say that. Me: Why? In another situation...... Me: Oh my god, that...
    Mynameistooweird Mynameistooweird 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 17

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    I'm such a bad flirter with girls in real life, I never know what to say or do. Even when I know the other girl likes me already. And most times I'm scare that I could get caught...
    Quietguy1234 Quietguy1234 18-21, M 2 Responses Aug 18

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    Im really good at giving compliments. But taking them is awkward for me. Since i dont usually get that many compliments. It surprises me. So i dont know what to say or do.
    ninjadentistinspace ninjadentistinspace 16-17, F 1 Response Sep 6

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    Lol. Too true. Even my flattery is bad.
    Livyn4pals Livyn4pals 46-50, M 1 Response Aug 18

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    it's so awkward when the person you're talking to is really good at it. Like all I could do was smile and nod and walk away
    sairaa sairaa 16-17, F Aug 18

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    whenever someone compliments me, i find it hard to believe its true and i freak out.
    buttney buttney 13-15, F 2 Responses Aug 18

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    When I'm around a good looking guy, I just laugh or blush or say something stupid. I'm totally not myself; I'm terrible at flirting and showing them I'm actually intelligent and...
    Seblett Seblett 13-15, F 7 Responses Aug 22

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    I want to make a difference but it's so hard when no one will accept help.
    taytayjohns taytayjohns 16-17, F 2 Responses Aug 22

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    I'll see a chick, walk up to here after my knees stop shaking from nervousness, and then stare at her with a stupid or funny face. She and her friends either laugh, look disgusted...
    LeonardFinch LeonardFinch 16-17, M 1 Response Aug 24

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    "I'm fine" or "I'm okay" two words hiding a world of pain
    Kampion Kampion 18-21, M 4 Responses Aug 31

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    So many lucky bipeds whine. Wish me could trade places with such.
    Livyn4pals Livyn4pals 46-50, M Sep 1

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    People who are at ease in their own genders are so incredibly lucky, I've never felt at home in my own.
    Pandemonem Pandemonem 13-15, T Sep 1

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    What are friends anyway? I've never gotten around this. I loose touch of them too quickly, or they change, or I change.
    kiddishguy kiddishguy 26-30, M 1 Response Sep 4

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    Whenever I get a really nice compliment, I either sound really arrogant or change the topic to making fun of myself, it's pretty embarrassing
    hebr0 hebr0 16-17, F 1 Response Sep 6

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    Living in SD for over 2 years now I'm not sure what I'm doing, I have blocked myself so much out of the world that I don't know how to make friends, I don't like to be social, and...
    blackskys blackskys 22-25, F 2 Responses Sep 3

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    I have been with my boyfriend for 4 1/2 years. We met at university through a mutual friend. We don't live together as we live and work in different cities and I am still caring...
    MsRugbygirl19 MsRugbygirl19 22-25, F Aug 21

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    I'm 23 years old and graduated high school in 2009, I was always good in school and people always told me I would succeed in whatever I did. They were wrong. I went to college but...
    23andconfused 23andconfused 22-25, M 1 Response Sep 1

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    ...When my urge to talk to him becomes unbearable. I love him so dearly, but I bet he still has his girlfriend, so I can't bother him all the time... It hurts because I really love...
    WinterIncandescence WinterIncandescence 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 28

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    I just got into this argument with my grandma. She's seriously getting on my last nerve. She's trying to tell me that I should grow up, and I said, "That's not my problem." She...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Sep 4

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    I feel spent and I don't know how much I have left to give. The best of me has been blown recklessly carelessly like my life is the equivalent of a night in Vegas I'm sure that I...
    TheDiscardedImage TheDiscardedImage 36-40, F Sep 8

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    I just don't know anymore, nothing ever seems to go right for me. I just want to be loved properly instead of people pretending to love me. I hate everyday I wake up. I'm slowly...
    sademptynothing sademptynothing 13-15, F 1 day ago

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