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I Don't Know How to Break Down My Defensive Wall

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 98 People

    Cold Dark Mask :D

    i hid my emotions. i never let it out. because if i did she wouldn't tell me how she was feeling. i was down but still more stable then she was. i now really struggle to get rid of my emotion . i can express it but i bottle it up and up and just cant get rid of it ! >.<...
    MiskaMaskedOne MiskaMaskedOne 18-21 Sep 26, 2013

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    I Just Don't Know How To Fix It

    Hey, I'm in a relationship with this guy who loves me and I live him back, but I can't give him or anyone in my life my complete love because it's guarded by a wall. This wall is so strong, it sometimes feels like it's phycically there. History:  I haven't always been...
    Lyssmix Lyssmix 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 27, 2010

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    Instincts

    I do not know how to tear down walls that have been built by unconscious processes. In all honesty, I don't think I would want to break down my walls.  They are there for a reason.  They are there to protect me.  They are the result of time and of lessons learned.  No longer...
    permafrost21 permafrost21 22-25, F 2 Responses Aug 22, 2012

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    Life After Abuse

    I was also abused in a 11 year marriage and have two great kids from that time. I have been hiding behind my kids, work, college. I managed to get my bachelor's degree with an online university. I've been divorced for over 6 years. A few nice men have asked me out, but I...
    michlhi michlhi 41-45 Aug 11, 2010

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    At Long Last

    I fell in love with my current boyfriend back when I was 12.  We never dated through out high school, and later in life he broke my heart.   I've since created a wall around my heart.  For the first time, we actually started a relationship with each other. ...
    NoOneOfConsequence NoOneOfConsequence 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 20, 2008

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    How Do You Trust Enough, and How Do I Handle the Pain That Is Bound to Come?

    Every time my wall comes down, I end up getting hurt ... and I don't mean just a little hurt, no, the real thing When I let people in, I really let them in, and more often then not, I get the sand kicked in my eyes.
    kinkitty kinkitty 36-40, F 50 Responses Apr 27, 2008

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    Looking For a Job

    I hate being a teenager looking for a job. I walk into a store that looks promising, a store that looks as though it is hiring, with head held up high. But then I walk inside the store itself and boom! It's like all my self-confidence has flown into the ionosphere. I don't...
    rustyguy rustyguy 18-21, M 1 Response Sep 3, 2008

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    Here is Practical Explanation about Next Life,

    Purpose of Human Life, philosophical/religious facts, theories etc. ___________________________ *********** Practical Explanation ( For Example ) :- `1st of all can you tell me every single seconds detail from that time when you born ?? ( i need every seconds detail ?? that what...
    bolt0 bolt0 22-25, M Dec 8, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    First post. Hello. I am 22 and I'm a uni student with an over-zealous mother. And by over-zealous I mean 'constantly interfering with my life and making me feel worse about myself...
    iNeedSpace iNeedSpace 18-21, M Mar 28

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    I'm not quite sure how this works, and I don't know how to say this without sounding stupid or melodramatic, but here it is, I guess. Throughout my life, I've been incredibly self...
    Monte805Cristo Monte805Cristo 16-17, F 2 Responses 15 hrs ago

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    I'm always sad and down but no one notices and i don't know how to change that and be happy again
    whoreallyami whoreallyami 13-15, F 2 Responses Apr 4

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    I don't know how to swim! I cant remember the incident perfectly, but I think this what has happened. So, that one time we went on a trip, my friend said she is going to try and...
    MissGaga MissGaga 22-25, F 2 Responses Apr 17

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    Lmfao I can't flirt at all. I've actually tried before with my male friend and he said I sucked xD I don't know how people flirt, like I get super awkward out of no where.
    drunkpunker drunkpunker 13-15, F 2 Responses Apr 5

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    Well, I just don't know how to start any kind of conversation. The friends I have are mostly the ones that starts them... I'd just blurt out a random / stupid thought.
    jellyfishz jellyfishz 13-15, T Apr 18

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    Since I have never been in one xD But I still don't know how and all that and I'm afraid that, soon, all my friends will be in a relationship and I'm just sitting on my couch...
    jellyfishz jellyfishz 13-15, T 2 Responses Apr 18

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    i am so tired of trying to understand. I don't know what to do nor do I feel like I care.
    lovebites86 lovebites86 26-30, F 6 Responses Apr 8

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    I remember being good at writing. Decent at drawing as well. I grew up being told I was "wise beyond your years..." and could hold a conversation with any group of adults. Scores...
    Demise Demise 22-25, F a week ago

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    I've been in an on and off again relationship with a man in the military for two years. Due to his overseas deployment, I only get to actually see him once every several months...
    cecemar cecemar 31-35, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    There are still many pages that are blank and must be written... But I don't want this story to be boring. How can I prevent that? Oh, right. Stop thinking, start doing
    jellyfishz jellyfishz 13-15, T Apr 18

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    37 hours 44 minutes deep into this hold! My boyfriend is doing what he can to prolong my hold but I'm so full. I'm in so much pain it's getting hard to breath or even see. I can...
    36hourholds 36hourholds 36-40, M 2 Responses Apr 18

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    I hate people who say that depression its just for attention. If I say i'm depressed, I think nobody would believe me. I eat pills 2 times in a day, because of depression...
    lostandalone98 lostandalone98 16-17, F 2 Responses 12 hrs ago

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    I haven't found mine yet :/
    angeldelinkwent angeldelinkwent 22-25, F Mar 31

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    Trying to get me to accept a compliment is like trying to get a vending machine to accept your wrinkled cash. You can try as many times as you want, it isn't going to work and it...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Apr 13

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    I'm pretty sure, no you can't see my lady parts isn't the appropriate response to wow you're beautiful!
    CallmeHopelessNotRomantic CallmeHopelessNotRomantic 36-40, F 3 Responses Apr 14

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    I am a constantly uncertain about myself. They say your own worst enemy is yourself and i can see why. I tell myself lies that stop me from moving on and i hate that. How can i...
    Alonso1996 Alonso1996 18-21, M 1 Response Apr 16

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    Ugh! I've heard one of his friend say that he likes me, but I'm not sure if it's true!! There's also another friend of mine that likes him and I'd usually give up on someone very...
    jellyfishz jellyfishz 13-15, T Apr 18

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    Got drunk last night and repeatedly told my bf how much I like him. He never once said he liked me, too, but he did make fun of me for it today.
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Apr 18

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    is beaty needed when you flirt? or charm? or dirty talks? or similar interests,?
    lachrymosejessa lachrymosejessa 16-17, F Apr 3

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    I'm probably the worst flirt this side of the Mississippi....wonder if there is a flirt webinar somewhere
    jbm1984 jbm1984 31-35, F 15 Responses Apr 3

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    It seems like no one wants to have a deep and meaningful conversation with me, Im always there for others but they never return the gesture.
    AlisonAnnAbby AlisonAnnAbby 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 5

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    Am one. But pain ruins it. Got to town to mail cards. Had cards. Had charger for phone. But the address was in phone back at camp. So. I go shop. And try to...
    convertihd convertihd 46-50, M Apr 6

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    And me hears proof. http://youtu.be/UtBsl3j0YRQ
    convertihd convertihd 46-50, M Apr 7

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    I am numb and getting sick if it. why me? it's hard living life when you feel no love or no emotion.
    Ang012685 Ang012685 26-30, F Apr 8

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    its 1:59, im tired but cant sleep, and i have this 3:00 dead-hour thingy i heard repeating in my head, its frusturating.
    petramullins petramullins 13-15, F Apr 13

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    It's been so long I've forgotten hahaha
    Fierrrrce Fierrrrce 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 19

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    I've learned to say thank you, but feel awkward when people compliment me.
    Platana2100 Platana2100 31-35, F 4 Responses a week ago

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    I screwed something up (in hindsight, the culmination of a long series of screwups) and my GF (of 2 years) is very upset. Like "we're seeing a relationship counselor" upset. Like...
    OneIsTheLoneliestNbr OneIsTheLoneliestNbr 51-55, M Apr 7

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    I honestly don't know how much I can take. Yea, no. I'm not gonna kill myself. I've been dealing with so much pressure, stress, and anxiety that I don't know how much longer I can...
    cuterthxnyou cuterthxnyou 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 16

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    I don't know how to help him when I can't even help myself. I've been so depressed lately, well I have been for a very long time, and he's not happy now. He doesn't know why and I...
    wishingforrecovery wishingforrecovery 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 5

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    every day goes by and something changes. i think about how i used to be, and how i wanted to be, and how both of those people would be ashamed of who i am today... i don't like it...
    anata1 anata1 22-25, F Mar 27

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    How did you find great husband? I'm lost, I don't know how to live anymore. I hate myself.
    27girl 27girl 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 31

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    I don't know how to tell my professor that I don't want anything related with her because she is the cause of my trauma, stress, anxiety and panic attacks. If you speak spanish...
    AndreaCulea AndreaCulea 22-25, F 2 Responses Apr 1