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I Don't Know How to Break Down My Defensive Wall

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 96 People

    At Long Last

    I fell in love with my current boyfriend back when I was 12.  We never dated through out high school, and later in life he broke my heart.   I've since created a wall around my heart.  For the first time, we actually started a relationship with each other. ...
    NoOneOfConsequence NoOneOfConsequence 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 20, 2008

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    Life After Abuse

    I was also abused in a 11 year marriage and have two great kids from that time. I have been hiding behind my kids, work, college. I managed to get my bachelor's degree with an online university. I've been divorced for over 6 years. A few nice men have asked me out, but I...
    michlhi michlhi 41-45 1 Response Aug 11, 2010

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    Instincts

    I do not know how to tear down walls that have been built by unconscious processes. In all honesty, I don't think I would want to break down my walls.  They are there for a reason.  They are there to protect me.  They are the result of time and of lessons learned.  No longer...
    permafrost21 permafrost21 22-25, F 2 Responses Aug 22, 2012

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    Here is Practical Explanation about Next Life,

    Purpose of Human Life, philosophical/religious facts, theories etc. ___________________________ *********** Practical Explanation ( For Example ) :- `1st of all can you tell me every single seconds detail from that time when you born ?? ( i need every seconds detail ?? that what...
    bolt0 bolt0 22-25, M Dec 8, 2013

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    I Just Don't Know How To Fix It

    Hey, I'm in a relationship with this guy who loves me and I live him back, but I can't give him or anyone in my life my complete love because it's guarded by a wall. This wall is so strong, it sometimes feels like it's phycically there. History:  I haven't always been...
    Lyssmix Lyssmix 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 27, 2010

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    How Do You Trust Enough, and How Do I Handle the Pain That Is Bound to Come?

    Every time my wall comes down, I end up getting hurt ... and I don't mean just a little hurt, no, the real thing When I let people in, I really let them in, and more often then not, I get the sand kicked in my eyes.
    kinkitty kinkitty 36-40, F 50 Responses Apr 27, 2008

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    Cold Dark Mask :D

    i hid my emotions. i never let it out. because if i did she wouldn't tell me how she was feeling. i was down but still more stable then she was. i now really struggle to get rid of my emotion . i can express it but i bottle it up and up and just cant get rid of it ! >.<...
    MiskaMaskedOne MiskaMaskedOne 18-21 Sep 26, 2013

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    Looking For a Job

    I hate being a teenager looking for a job. I walk into a store that looks promising, a store that looks as though it is hiring, with head held up high. But then I walk inside the store itself and boom! It's like all my self-confidence has flown into the ionosphere. I don't...
    rustyguy rustyguy 18-21, M 1 Response Sep 3, 2008

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    Related Experiences

    I have a friend of nearly 20 years who I believe has Borderline Personality Disorder. She claims she was diagnosed as bipolar, but as time has passed BPD has really seemed like a...
    dolceharajuku dolceharajuku 26-30, F Jul 12

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    Ok, so I guess I'm just a bit scared, and I don't know how as well. My mum is a Christian, and I'm not sure how that'll affect her reaction and thoughts on me being bi...(like 75...
    loveyourselfalwaysxx loveyourselfalwaysxx 13-15, F 2 Responses Jul 5

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    So I'm a trans guy, female to male, and only one who knows this my psychologist. I still don't know how they haven't discovered it... My friends, family, almost everyone knew that...
    LeoThePandaHero LeoThePandaHero 16-17, M 2 Responses 12 hrs ago

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    I really don't know how I ended up being a special ed student. Somehow I got really depressed and stopped coming to school. It got so bad that I guess they had to give me tests to...
    thisisausernametoo thisisausernametoo 18-21 1 Response a week ago

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    I am trying hard to get away from my high school friends and all they do is drink and smoke weed after I cut all of them out it's really boring and lonley I really want to meet new...
    brnino brnino 18-21, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    I'm 24 and the oldest of 3 girls. I'm in that age where people think I should be at the peak of my life, they say I should already have a stable job, so that I can help my family...
    gehanalyanna gehanalyanna 22-25, F 1 Response Jul 13

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    Ok so I'm in this relationship with a girl who I thought I really liked and she really likes me and we talk all the time and sometimes I think i like her but then sometimes I feel...
    protostar55 protostar55 16-17, F 1 Response Jul 4

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    Early 2012, I fell in love with a girl who was together with a guy at that time and she fell in love with me, too. The situation is such that while she loves him, she's not in love...
    DarkCrusaderz DarkCrusaderz 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 17

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    I recently got out of an emotionally abusive relationship. Right after this relationship, I felt so so free and so awesome. Then I met someone online and we've been on a few dates...
    mbk13 mbk13 22-25, F Jul 2

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    Life is a roller-coaster right now i honestly don't know what to do. I feel pain mentally and physically, don't know who or what to turn to 😒
    k4m4r k4m4r 16-17, F 1 Response Jun 30

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    I have a husband who loves me and three great kids that we spoil. But I don't have any friends. I am a stay-at-home Mom. I have low self-esteem, I guess. Sometimes. I don't know. I...
    Kryzta Kryzta 26-30, F Jul 5

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    I have a girl friend that really looks up to me. I am honored to be someone whom she looks up to, and she also considers me her best friend. I consider her a good friend, but I...
    picasso527 picasso527 22-25, F 2 Responses Jul 10

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    I'm dating this new guy.He's really sweet.his job requires him to be gone for a month and back with me for a month on and off.my issue is that he doesn't trust me when He's gone...
    itsalwayspink itsalwayspink 22-25, F a week ago

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    I feel as if I truly don't have a personality, or I don't know who I am. What makes me, me? What is so different or special about myself that differentiates me from others. Who am...
    Genesisandstuff Genesisandstuff 18-21, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    I'm so retarded I don't know why I did what I did today. I just started making real friends , pretty sure I lost her. All my moms calls me is a liar and say I do horrible things...
    loladdicted loladdicted 13-15, F Jun 30

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    Well I have a girlfriend and one day the kissing thing went up whem we talked. I told her that I will wait until she'll be ready. But the problem is that I am afraid that whem the...
    gu1mu gu1mu 13-15, M Jul 19

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    So after almost a week my grandfather died of internal hemorrhaging. They had him transferred to my grandmother's hospital and in to get room so they didn't the last few days off...
    TheWomanYouHate TheWomanYouHate 31-35, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    I'm not here for people to help me, I just want people to listen for once, I mean, I know that everyone has drama in their lives , heartache, pain, sadness, and hopelessness, and I...
    sommer02 sommer02 16-17, F 4 Responses Jul 1

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    I was always alone before him. He became my everything, and I sacrificed so much for him... He was the first love I have ever had. Then things fell apart, and I despised him for...
    walker13sl walker13sl 22-25, F 1 Response Jul 1

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    It's not a bad feeling it's more of the fact that it was unexpected. My boyfriend owns his own landscaping business and he asked me to help him with some things. apparently I did a...
    JuBear424 JuBear424 18-21, F Jun 30

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    I am new to this. Not new to using the internet or observing social media, but new to actually interacting. I tend to fear what people will say or think to what I do or say in a...
    aimnor aimnor 36-40, M 1 Response Jun 30

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    Still need some advice on this cheating thing. Please don't just tell me to leave him, clearly I want to make it work if I'm asking
    marieash marieash 22-25, F 27 Responses Jul 4

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    I am honestly so bad at flirting I don't even think it can be called that
    EssSmith EssSmith 16-17, F 2 Responses Jul 11

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    So for the past 2 years, I would wake up for school and for some reason, id get a similar version of morning sickness, and need to vomit out my window. Idk, it changes colour...
    TaylaT21 TaylaT21 18-21, F 3 Responses Jul 15

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    I'm depressed, I'll be the first to admit if. But it's not that bad anymore. It's a matter of getting over it. I was On and off with this British guy for a year and a half and I...
    kxCobra kxCobra 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 17

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    My boyfriend and I are taking a 'break' and for some reason I can't seem to do it. All I want to do it talk to him and be with him. He wants some time to just figure himself out...
    Nitsirk7 Nitsirk7 26-30, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    Woke up to the sound of pouring rain The wind would whisper and I'd think of you And all the tears you cried – they called my name And when you needed me I came through Paint a...
    LoveeIsLife LoveeIsLife 13-15, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    I would beg My ex-husband to do things with me. Things such as a date night, movies, or just taking our kids and me to go watch Fireworks on the 4th of July. He always gave me an...
    readinglover readinglover 36-40, F Jun 30

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    How does it work? Oh, crap! I'm supposed to make my story longer, so i'll just sing a song: If i could spend the rest of my life with my people, i would do it over and over again...
    nickaoke nickaoke 22-25, M Jul 17

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    How I look when I try to flirt with girls 😝 I tried ok
    masonishere masonishere 16-17, M 1 Response Jul 17

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    I know you have let go, and I haven't. We're best friends, even though our love relationship is over. You love me, but differently than my love for you. You are the love of my life...
    bethrichards bethrichards 46-50, F 4 days ago

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    I always smile when im with people but when im alone i feel annoyed or frustrated... I feel like I have to be nice ...its ok to be nice but. Once im bored I wish i could just walk...
    wahoo1990 wahoo1990 22-25, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    I'm 26 and never been kissed. Not like i haven't had the oppurtunity. Just always shied away from it.
    fpdee11 fpdee11 26-30, F 3 Responses Jul 19

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    But I feel like ice cream and/or beer would make it better.
    ZombieBaitMaiden ZombieBaitMaiden 31-35, F 3 Responses Jun 30

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    That silly "I'll seduce you with my awkwardness" phrase totally applies to me. I never realize when I'm being hit on either... Whoops!
    dolceharajuku dolceharajuku 26-30, F 1 Response Jul 2

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    I not so long ago lost the most inportant person in my life and I'm completely distroid by it I've tried killing my self twice now cas life seems worthless with out I dream about...
    darrenjones81 darrenjones81 31-35, M 2 Responses Jul 4

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    I thinking it's about to happen... OH NO I SHART ME LOONS (again)
    mcfartcloud mcfartcloud 31-35, M 3 Responses Jul 4

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    PTSD is eating away at me and every aspect of my life.
    ducttapeandprayers ducttapeandprayers 26-30, F 1 Response Jul 7

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    I'm not shy or anything. I'm just really straightforward. If I like someone I tell them directly.
    Mi5h Mi5h 16-17, F Jul 10

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    I'm not awkward, I'm just weird. When someone I like flirts with me, I just freak out and just act like I'm not interested. Then later I give myself an *** whooping for being an...
    ILoveYourSmile ILoveYourSmile 13-15, F 1 Response