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I Don't Know How to Break Down My Defensive Wall

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 101 People

    Cold Dark Mask :D

    i hid my emotions. i never let it out. because if i did she wouldn't tell me how she was feeling. i was down but still more stable then she was. i now really struggle to get rid of my emotion . i can express it but i bottle it up and up and just cant get rid of it ! >.<...
    MiskaMaskedOne MiskaMaskedOne 18-21 Sep 26, 2013

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    How Do You Trust Enough, and How Do I Handle the Pain That Is Bound to Come?

    Every time my wall comes down, I end up getting hurt ... and I don't mean just a little hurt, no, the real thing When I let people in, I really let them in, and more often then not, I get the sand kicked in my eyes.
    kinkitty kinkitty 36-40, F 50 Responses Apr 27, 2008

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    Here is Practical Explanation about Next Life,

    Purpose of Human Life, philosophical/religious facts, theories etc. ___________________________ *********** Practical Explanation ( For Example ) :- `1st of all can you tell me every single seconds detail from that time when you born ?? ( i need every seconds detail ?? that what...
    bolt0 bolt0 22-25, M Dec 8, 2013

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    Instincts

    I do not know how to tear down walls that have been built by unconscious processes. In all honesty, I don't think I would want to break down my walls.  They are there for a reason.  They are there to protect me.  They are the result of time and of lessons learned.  No longer...
    permafrost21 permafrost21 22-25, F 2 Responses Aug 22, 2012

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    Life After Abuse

    I was also abused in a 11 year marriage and have two great kids from that time. I have been hiding behind my kids, work, college. I managed to get my bachelor's degree with an online university. I've been divorced for over 6 years. A few nice men have asked me out, but I...
    michlhi michlhi 41-45 Aug 11, 2010

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    I Just Don't Know How To Fix It

    Hey, I'm in a relationship with this guy who loves me and I live him back, but I can't give him or anyone in my life my complete love because it's guarded by a wall. This wall is so strong, it sometimes feels like it's phycically there. History:  I haven't always been...
    Lyssmix Lyssmix 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 27, 2010

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    At Long Last

    I fell in love with my current boyfriend back when I was 12.  We never dated through out high school, and later in life he broke my heart.   I've since created a wall around my heart.  For the first time, we actually started a relationship with each other. ...
    NoOneOfConsequence NoOneOfConsequence 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 20, 2008

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    Looking For a Job

    I hate being a teenager looking for a job. I walk into a store that looks promising, a store that looks as though it is hiring, with head held up high. But then I walk inside the store itself and boom! It's like all my self-confidence has flown into the ionosphere. I don't...
    rustyguy rustyguy 18-21, M 1 Response Sep 3, 2008

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    Related Experiences

    Sometimes I wonder if there are people out there that would understand me (besides my therapist I mean)
    tsubakiblossom tsubakiblossom 22-25, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    I've been laying here with headsets on listening to music for a long time, and I just don't even know if this is really life. It's like you have so many people in your life, but...
    Artxsy Artxsy 18-21, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    I just feel really depressed.
    carlosDam1 carlosDam1 18-21, M 2 days ago

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    Stay tuned for another episode of incessant rambling from a crazy woman! Every day I wake up as a different person with different views and different desires. One day I feel so...
    astateofdisarray astateofdisarray 18-21, F 2 days ago

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    I usually call BS until they stop being said altogether. If idk the person I say thank you but inwardly think theyre joking.
    93Armand 93Armand 22-25, F 4 Responses 3 days ago

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    I don't know why there are girls who send me nude photos after telling me I'm pretty... Every time I open my inbox, I always get surprises. haha!Not that I don't like women's...
    leztat leztat 22-25, F 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    i don't believe I will make it life. why? nothing means much to me...i know there are days when I have 'bliss' because of distractions, but in the end I can't find meaning in much...
    RedChaplin RedChaplin 18-21, M 4 Responses 4 days ago

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    I'm feeling a lot under some sort of mask of emptiness? I can't properly feel the sadness and loneliness and whatever else is mixed up in there because of some weird tired apathy...
    transtastic transtastic 18-21, T 1 Response 6 days ago

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    I have been married for a little over 10 years and have been miserable for about 9 of it. I have 2 beautiful girls both under the age of 10 whom I love to the moon and back. After...
    laiken20 laiken20 36-40, F 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    Haha shut up you, no it isn't.
    CaptainHoof CaptainHoof 18-21, M 6 days ago

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    I live in Santa Ana California and I am very concerned about my niece. My niece lives with here mom in a car/Cheap Motels. Her loser dad which is my brother is in jail and her mom...
    Sublimegirl Sublimegirl 18-21, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    He's gone and I don't know how to breathe properly without him. He's gone and every sight, sound and word assaults my mind with thoughts of him. It didn't matter that his part was...
    forgedindarkness forgedindarkness 31-35, F 1 Response a week ago

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    Sometimes I think being gay is a curse. I wonder if his friends or whomever he's told about me would've viewed me differently had I been straight. I don't think he truly...
    gottabeBOLd gottabeBOLd 31-35, M a week ago

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    I look at the sunset and inwardly smile. I know it's always going to be there for me. I look at the moon and worry. I don't know why I get so scared at night. I can feel the tiny...
    zax2 zax2 51-55, M Jun 24

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    My first real best friend who turned out to be a *****, I don't know how to get her damned voice out of my head. The more I think about it, the more I'm realizing how I didn't...
    jacithepanda jacithepanda 13-15, F Jun 23

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    My manger said to me ... " when I hired you I knew this girl has talent " Co-worker said- I always work from my heart without thinking and someday God will help me Made my day...
    dezeena dezeena 26-30, F 3 Responses Jun 23

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    With my, or similar sexual preferences, what are the secret ways to know?
    1LikeMind 1LikeMind 51-55, M 4 Responses Jun 22

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    My mother and father are so stupid. I am really smart. My whole life I have had to deal with morons that don't know how to spell, communicate with people correctly, or do anything...
    bjssoi bjssoi 31-35, F Jun 22

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    June 21, 2009 I never knew that day could end up being one that was burned in the back of my brain for ever. Well buddy it's been six years since mommy lost you. To top that off...
    forgottenheart forgottenheart 18-21, F Jun 21

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    my frnds dont believe me when I tell them tht I cant express things they just think tht im lying nd hiding stuff frm them which is nt true coz in reality Im confused myself!!
    Blue339 Blue339 16-17, F 1 Response Jun 21

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    I'm 24 years old. I have 2 useless degrees. I don't want to live in a city and work in an office and die there. I want to travel the world and meet people and do good. I don't know...
    yayaya24 yayaya24 26-30, F Jun 21

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    well first I rarely get them. So when I do, it's pretty weird and I feel awkward somehow. So from that, I even don't know how to compliment others which suck. In my head I'd be...
    CallMeShayYeah CallMeShayYeah 16-17, F Jun 20

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    I just kinda get nervous around any girl that I think is cute. And I never know what to say. So I never actually say anything when I want to. I just don't wanna get rejected
    KidNova45 KidNova45 18-21, M 1 Response Jun 20

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    Maybe it's the fact that not a lot of guys talk to me but I'm terrible at it. I've asked for people's help but they just tell me it should come naturally. If I try to flirt I bet I...
    alleycat888 alleycat888 13-15, F 2 Responses Jun 20

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    i don't want to leave my room and face reality but i know i have to. no matter how many times i tell everyone i'm fine everybody believes it.... no one sees the lie anymore. i...
    catsrule5678 catsrule5678 18-21, F Jun 20

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    I'm a smart *** and so is my little brother yet it astounds me how he can save me from myself with the simplest of gestures and words. After a conversation with him, I feel like I...
    WarriorsHeart WarriorsHeart 22-25, M Jun 17

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    Compliments? Leo.exe has crashed
    Leo231 Leo231 13-15, M 2 Responses Jun 16

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    When my significant other and I first met, we both wanted everything that life had to offer us. Children, marriage, house, cars, good careers. We didn't know what life would throw...
    Spakrs Spakrs 18-21, F Jun 16

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    It's so confusing. Sometimes, I say yes.. But a little later, regret and say no. I don't even know what I do want... It's so frustrating. And it doesn't just frustrates me but...
    Undecodable Undecodable 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 15

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    So, recently my boyfriend of a year and eight months broke up, which sucks but isn't the point. The point is that i then started to think over the relationship and the fact that he...
    Anna10987654321 Anna10987654321 16-17 Jun 15

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    I know that there are hundreds, if not, thousands like me who don't know what exactly they want or are looking for in life. Unfortunately, I am one of them. Yesterday, I met up...
    SlowlyDrifting SlowlyDrifting 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 15

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    My best friends younger brother has just moved to switzerland with his father after their parents divorced. He is only 13 and after a few months their he is falling behind and...
    r4pt0r1980 r4pt0r1980 31-35 Jun 14

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    Okay anybody else parents said "she's not shy " or "speak!" If you have your not the only one. Everytime I don't know somebody I'm very quiet unless they talk to me first. But one...
    lifeisastruggle4ever lifeisastruggle4ever 13-15, F 1 Response Jun 13

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    I have always found comfort in talking to people who I did not know. This was the case since I was 14 because I couldn't talk to anyone I knew about my issues. When I was 14 I...
    CrimsonKnight117 CrimsonKnight117 18-21, M 2 Responses Jun 13

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