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I Don't Know How to Break Down My Defensive Wall

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 162 People

    At Long Last

    I fell in love with my current boyfriend back when I was 12.  We never dated through out high school, and later in life he broke my heart.   I've since created a wall around my heart.  For the first time, we actually started a relationship with each other. ...
    NoOneOfConsequence NoOneOfConsequence 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 20, 2008

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    I Just Don't Know How To Fix It

    Hey, I'm in a relationship with this guy who loves me and I live him back, but I can't give him or anyone in my life my complete love because it's guarded by a wall. This wall is so strong, it sometimes feels like it's phycically there. History:  I haven't always been...
    Lyssmix Lyssmix 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 27, 2010

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    Cold Dark Mask :D

    i hid my emotions. i never let it out. because if i did she wouldn't tell me how she was feeling. i was down but still more stable then she was. i now really struggle to get rid of my emotion . i can express it but i bottle it up and up and just cant get rid of it ! >.<...
    MiskaMaskedOne MiskaMaskedOne 18-21 Sep 26, 2013

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    Here is Practical Explanation about Next Life,

    Purpose of Human Life, philosophical/religious facts, theories etc. ___________________________ *********** Practical Explanation ( For Example ) :- `1st of all can you tell me every single seconds detail from that time when you born ?? ( i need every seconds detail ?? that what...
    bolt0 bolt0 22-25, M Dec 8, 2013

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    How Do You Trust Enough, and How Do I Handle the Pain That Is Bound to Come?

    Every time my wall comes down, I end up getting hurt ... and I don't mean just a little hurt, no, the real thing When I let people in, I really let them in, and more often then not, I get the sand kicked in my eyes.
    kinkitty kinkitty 36-40, F 50 Responses Apr 27, 2008

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    Looking For a Job

    I hate being a teenager looking for a job. I walk into a store that looks promising, a store that looks as though it is hiring, with head held up high. But then I walk inside the store itself and boom! It's like all my self-confidence has flown into the ionosphere. I don't...
    rustyguy rustyguy 18-21, M 1 Response Sep 3, 2008

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    Instincts

    I do not know how to tear down walls that have been built by unconscious processes. In all honesty, I don't think I would want to break down my walls.  They are there for a reason.  They are there to protect me.  They are the result of time and of lessons learned.  No longer...
    permafrost21 permafrost21 22-25, F 2 Responses Aug 22, 2012

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    Life After Abuse

    I was also abused in a 11 year marriage and have two great kids from that time. I have been hiding behind my kids, work, college. I managed to get my bachelor's degree with an online university. I've been divorced for over 6 years. A few nice men have asked me out, but I...
    michlhi michlhi 41-45 1 Response Aug 11, 2010

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    Related Experiences

    My husband and I have been together for 6 plus years. I was able to tolerate his family until after I had my 1st child. Been worse now that I'm with my second. His parents doesn't...
    Darkshadows02 Darkshadows02 31-35, F 1 Response 13 hrs ago

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    Are we all just going through the motions of life? Do any of us know what the fvck we're supposed to be doing? I fvcking don't! Social poverty traps me in a house with someone I...
    guriinii guriinii 26-30, M 1 Response 15 hrs ago

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    My parents raised me to take care of them. They rarely worked so, money growing up was always tight. They used to collect welfare and disability benefits for us. They would take me...
    angelique422 angelique422 26-30, F 20 hrs ago

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    I have no idea what I did wrong but whatever I did she's been getting mad a irritated at me lately for small thing I just wish things could be like before we dated when we were...
    natsufairy12 natsufairy12 13-15, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    live without some form of caffeine. I think it's time to go to the store... either that or go make myself a really freaking strong cup of coffee
    lagrenouille24 lagrenouille24 26-30 1 day ago

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    I m searching for love around me
    ratnakar1104 ratnakar1104 26-30, M 1 day ago

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    I lost my soul-mate husband 4 years back after he joined M.A.UM Meditation. This is a cult. He became an emotionally and Narcissistic abusive stranger. This has caused me...
    dvirmani dvirmani 41-45, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    I (a lesbian) hit my girlfriend Saturday while drunk(I don't drink often, maybe twice a year.) She kept calling me ***** and I lost it. I only hit her once. She hit me 8 times. I...
    Maia12345 Maia12345 36-40, F 3 days ago

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    It's true. I don't know everything. Nobody does. Although people often say I am intelligent for my age idk why tho ^_^
    EmoMusicLuv EmoMusicLuv 13-15, F 4 days ago

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    Courtney I now we have not known each other for that long but since we started talking about a week ago we become really close and we understood each other. You had some stressful...
    xxxMickeyMouse22xxx xxxMickeyMouse22xxx 22-25, M 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    Is it really that obvious to see other's problems but not your own...is this why Jesus said (paraphrasing) "Take the log out of your eye before you take the speck out of your...
    DarkKnightRanger DarkKnightRanger 26-30, M 5 days ago

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    So, I'm in high school, I graduate this year, my boyfriend Matt, (that's hat I have been calling him from day one) has this friend, Carl. Well before Matt and I started to date I...
    TheWayLifeShouldBe TheWayLifeShouldBe 16-17, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    There are so many things that I could change about my life but actually pointing out where the change needs to begin is beyond me. I think at times that I am only 23 and I don't...
    who317 who317 22-25, F 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    I don't know how to tell my family I'm attracted to older men and women cause they are very religious
    Staytripping Staytripping 16-17, F 6 days ago

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    I feel so lost. I am 21 years old, working a dead-end job, and investing thousands into a major that I have no interest in. I cannot seem to get over my ex and I have forsaken...
    bawstenbrewin bawstenbrewin 18-21, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    My stranger for a Mother has refused to pay my bills once again. I have a $2000 bill to pay. The only reason that I ran it up was because I was working, but my stranger for a...
    ONESTARRYSTARRYNIGHT ONESTARRYSTARRYNIGHT 26-30, F Feb 2

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    I am 23 years old, and I recently moved downtown into a sublet until April. Up until last week, I lived at home with my family. My family lives outside the city and moved there 5...
    blackdove3746 blackdove3746 22-25, F 1 Response Feb 2

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    I always feel awkward in conversations both in real life and online. I feel like I don't talk enough back to keep a conversation going. But I can't think of anything more to say...
    FaerieGrrl98 FaerieGrrl98 16-17, F 2 Responses Feb 1

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    So this guy has been asking me out for a while and I'm not into him so I have been kinda chatting to him... I've been going by the assumption that if I ignore them log enough they...
    LilyMae1995 LilyMae1995 18-21, F Feb 1

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    What do you do when your close family member is in so much pain? Physically, mentally and emotionally? She told me a few years ago that she's only staying around for a few more...
    js246 js246 22-25, F 1 Response Feb 1

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    I was very shaken and upset my a message a got from someone on Friday. A guy messaged me and said he liked my smile and he was lonely. I felt bad for him and suggested he join some...
    strawberyblond strawberyblond 70+, F 7 Responses Jan 31

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    Hello, What I'm about to say I have never told anyone for fear of rejection or criticism. I feel lost, I feel like no matter what I do it's always a step back. 3 years ago I moved...
    Thranix Thranix 22-25, M 1 Response Jan 31

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    For the first time in my life I have no life plan, and it feels liberating. I have always been a very ambitious and 'driven' person and was born with an 'on' button, which has...
    wonderofwonders1 wonderofwonders1 41-45, F 2 Responses Jan 29

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    well I do sort of know what I'm gonna do, though the details and specifics are far from figured out yet. I'm going to accomplish something big, gonna stir the pot, a lot, and gonna...
    dathglas dathglas 13-15, M 2 Responses Jan 29

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    I feel so lost and a failure I am being made homeless and I don't know what to do as the council won't help even tho I have 2 kids and I'm disabled so can't work to raise the money...
    littlesnop littlesnop 36-40, F 1 Response Jan 28

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    It's getting to the point now if I don't know if I can keep going. I am practising acceptance and making peace with what may come to me. But what I can't take anymore is the...
    32forever2016 32forever2016 31-35, M Jan 27

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    I don't know what to do or say anymore. I awoke this morning with the skin hanging off my toes, just a little, with this deep laceration. It does not look deep, as it was side...
    ONESTARRYSTARRYNIGHT ONESTARRYSTARRYNIGHT 26-30, F Jan 27

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    Thoughts can't be read, but they're real. Faith cannot be seen, but that's very real. Some things aren't meant to be proved, but taken by faith, which is not an act...but a knowing...
    Grace2U Grace2U 66-70, F 1 Response Jan 27

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    Sometimes I get so horny that I don't know what to do with myself. It started when I was young. I always knew what it meant, but I was raised to think that natural urges were bad...
    greenroots greenroots 36-40, M Jan 27

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    My boyfriend Matt and I keep fighting. I don't want to break up with him because I know it will get better. I love him and I know he loves me. I've been so stressed out about a lot...
    TheWayLifeShouldBe TheWayLifeShouldBe 16-17, F 1 Response Jan 26

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    Hello there people. I just need a place to vent for a bit. Lets start. I have this best girl friend whom i used to flirt with since i was in fifth grade. Now we're already in our...
    Nilanno19 Nilanno19 18-21, F Jan 25

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    school it's just so hard and I get in trouble to much
    aby2015 aby2015 13-15, F Jan 24

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    Some days are easier than others. Sometimes I think I'm just fine. Being sensitive is not a crime. I experience your pain just like mine. Same with joy... But I just happen to...
    Everyheartbeat Everyheartbeat 26-30 Jan 23