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I Don't Know Who I Am Anymore

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 2,379 People

    So I decided to go full out at school today.

    Im taking about curling my hair, full on make up, and the perfect outfit. For the first in a really long time, I didn't avoid looking at myself in a mirror, and honestly I couldn't stop looking at myself.Not out of self-ego or anything, but because for once, I actually felt like...
    Aujrennae Aujrennae 16-17, F Jan 21

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    There once was a time

    when all to life was to run around and play and now life is trying to hide and barely making it through another day . Silence screams louder than words and silence covers up those actions. But one day the smile will fall and every one will know. But it will scare everyone else...
    SecretKeeper01 SecretKeeper01 16-17, F Apr 28, 2015

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    I just want to be me,

    I just want the opportunity to be me, I just wish people would just accept that I'm different and respect my choices and respect the things I like, things I do, and the things I say.
    mhLILRED mhLILRED 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 5, 2015

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    Sometimes when I think I have found myself,

    I lost myself again almost immediately. How do you exactly find yourself? I'm so unsure and confused at the same time of who I really am.
    CloeSmile CloeSmile 16-17, F Oct 26, 2014

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    I look in the mirror,

    and I don't know this girl staring back at me. She's a stranger. How can this girl possibly be me? If you asked me 3 years ago how I thought my life would be, I never thought I'd be here. Living this pain filled nightmare. I've done so many things I thought I would never do...
    LoveandLoss17 LoveandLoss17 18-21, F Jul 11, 2014

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    I Don't Know Who I Am Anymore...

    My life has been long and harsh, at merely thirty, I have tried to make the best of bad events. As a child my father died and I lived with my mother and brother. I was only 5 when my father died and I was told he died of a broken heart. Later I found out he committed suicide, and...
    tjtaz tjtaz 26-30 3 Responses Dec 29, 2011

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    During my life I created this character

    so I could survive out there in the real world. I used to be strong, helpful, sympathetic, loved, cool and whatever makes you wanna be friends with someone. Really, I had lots of `friends`. I just knew exactly how to attract people. Listen to their problems, help them find a...
    creatingawildparadise creatingawildparadise 18-21, M 1 Response May 11, 2015

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    She was the most beautiful girl in the world,

    to me. Tall, with dark hair, freckles and the warmest brown eyes you could ever imagine. She was my everything, my entire soul, my entire being and I loved her to my very last for eight years. And then I left. I took a flight of fancy that had no purpose except to serve some...
    liu88 liu88 26-30 Dec 17, 2015

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    I'Ve Never Really Known What I Wanted In Life

    From my father, I was taught to please others. This means to tell people what they want to hear, and try to become someone a bit different in order to make them like me. The thing is, I've been doing this my whole life, with so many people, that I don't know who I am or what I...
    CurlyBee CurlyBee 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 31, 2013

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    I feel the same. I have had

    so many lives. I used to bounce back from anything and enjoyed turning things around. I feel I have lost the inner fight. I don't want to fight for something or try anything. Over the years I have got rid of partners and friends. Now 40, I own nothing and have nothing. I should...
    butterflyrays butterflyrays 36-40 May 20, 2015

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    I just feel so empty.

    .. Everyday is the same, never moving forward it seems... I wish I had someone that really understood me. But a lot of the guys I've talked to are Jerks, sorry boys but it's true...why can't I have someone that truly cared...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Oct 26, 2015

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    I had a very strong sense of self

    as a child. I protected animals from kids who tried to torture them. I stood in between two of my friends who were fighting, and got punched in the face. I knew what I believed, and always stood up for it. Gradually, I lost my confidence. I don't know why. Maybe it was because I...
    HollywoodNil HollywoodNil 22-25, F 1 Response May 16, 2014

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    There's A Scared Little Girl Inside Of Me.

    Since I can remember, I have defined myself through the eyes of others, looking outwards for their acceptance, approval and love.. Sometimes these  others were family, friends and boyfriends,  and at other times they were books, tv programmes, films..  I looked for...
    littlerusalka littlerusalka 26-30, F 4 Responses Oct 6, 2010

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    To be honest, I don't know

    who I am anymore. I have changed. I have become a person I hate, a person I never wanted to become. I've turned into all those people who did horrible things to me and now I am doing those things to other people. It had become an addiction and I can't stop.
    EmilyPouliot EmilyPouliot 26-30, F Jan 4

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    I graduated 2 years ago now.

    I'm stuck in a job I hate, that makes my degree seem pointless. My degree is pointless without the next course which costs about £10'000. I live on my own for the first time and I don't have many real friends here. It really feels like after a certain age, you can't make new...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Aug 2, 2015

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    I hurt the people I love

    so I won't feel so guilty and make them feel like they're the problem when it's really me. I'm unsure of my intentions and I wish I was the old me per say, I hate the person I've become.
    moonshine97 moonshine97 18-21, F Jul 21, 2015

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    I Wish I Could Be Who I Want To Be

    So many people believe that they are different but the truth is I think I am the most different of them all. I am almost 24 years old, never had a boyfriend in my life, never kissed a guy, never slept around, never been to a club, never gotten really drunk, etc. I am the type of...
    skydancer24 skydancer24 26-30, F 5 Responses Jan 21, 2012

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    I live three lives, and only one of them is the

    real me. At school, I am reserved and very introverted. At home, I am more talkative but I'm still not the real me. I am only myself when I'm online. I wish I could just stop living separate lives and feel comfortable being myself.
    CompassionateCoffee CompassionateCoffee 16-17 3 Responses May 21, 2014

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    every day goes by and something changes.

    i think about how i used to be, and how i wanted to be, and how both of those people would be ashamed of who i am today... i don't like it. i have a lot of work ahead of me to get to where i want to be, but i don't know how to take that first step any more
    anata1 anata1 22-25, F Mar 27, 2015

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    Been married for years

    but now feeling like I might be bisexual. How, if you love your wife, do you manage that?
    Fishfugazi Fishfugazi 46-50, M 2 Responses Sep 20, 2015

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    So much has changed. I've done things I never

    thought I would. I don't like who I am becoming. I'm too far gone to come back from this.
    DoneAnd0ver DoneAnd0ver 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 14, 2015

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    I'm tearing myself apart.

    I really don't know who I am anymore.
    escape1424 escape1424 16-17, F May 17, 2015

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    ...things change so fast I feel like life is

    slipping out of my hands ....I wish ...I wish ....I was better maybe I could make it all go away
    reddemonsoul reddemonsoul 16-17, F Oct 22, 2015

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    It feels like there is something fundamental

    I'm missing. You can't see the whole picture, even if it's only one, insignificant piece missing. It's very frustrating.
    maiomeN maiomeN 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 26, 2014

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    I Leave In Hell

    i made a mistake 4 years ago n contracted HIV i wanna 4get about it n start afresh even though am infected but i just dont know how n there is nobody 2 help me i have no job n the poverty in our family is a constant reminder that am suffering from a fatal illness please anybody...
    best32 best32 22-25 4 Responses Dec 13, 2012

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    Gone

    What am I, Who am I, Where have I gone   Look at me, Can’t you see, what I’ve become   He takes me; He rapes me, and tortures my soul   Just let me be, set me free, I want to be whole   The pain I feel is so very real I’m just dead...
    mysplitpersonality mysplitpersonality 36-40, F 1 Response Nov 21, 2007

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    My Constant Self Discovery

    'Out of everything and everyone I've lost... I miss myself the most.' When you’re little adults ask who you want to be when you grow up, and once you tell them they respond with such excitement and encouragement... but what they fail to tell you is... life has its own plans for...
    cherrytomatoes cherrytomatoes 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 21, 2013

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    Where Did Kathie Go? I Sure Miss Her......

    I'm a happy person....I'll get over this. But, I want to stop and write this. I am sad...I miss myself. Indulge me, please. Four years ago I moved my demented, mostly blind, physically challenged Mother to the city I live in. I am her caregiver everyday....not 24/7, but close...
    Kathieredart Kathieredart 56-60, F 6 Responses Aug 19, 2012

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    I thought I was this good christian girl up

    until recently when I've discovered I don't really agree with a lot of my family's beliefs. I have nothing against Christians, I simply don't believe the same way. I don't really know much of anything for certain right now, my world feels as if it's shaking which I suppose is...
    PrincessAlora97 PrincessAlora97 18-21, F 1 Response May 12, 2015

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    No One Really Knows Who They Are ....

    In my 33 years of living, I would have to say that my late teens and 20's were just one huge identity crisis. It was a crisis because I was desperately searching for a sense of self that was lost into adulthood. I am not a know-all kind of guy ( I actually know very little about...
    bedevo33 bedevo33 31-35, M 2 Responses Jul 27, 2012

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    Dont Know Who I Am Or What I Want In Life Anymore!!

    I used to be such a loud child, so playfull, i was always low in confidence but i was out playing. I liked school until i got to secondry school. I was quiet in school, so i guess that made me a target, because i would never pay any attention, i was pushed and shoved but it never...
    lisastacey3 lisastacey3 22-25, F 3 Responses May 28, 2011

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    I use to have this same feeling

    for a lot of years. Then one day, after working on my positives that I had not learned to eventually balancing my life. I came to a realisation, it's not who I am that is important, it's why I'm here is the most important. Because really, we are many, some have already lived 10...
    Create63 Create63 51-55, M 1 Response Oct 27, 2014

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    So Confused

    Up until the day before yesterday I thought i knew who i was. Well, not really, but i had one part of me who i thought i knew, the only part that iv been sure of when everything else evaporated. And now im questioning that. In high school I was the music chick, the bass player...
    jazzcataly jazzcataly 22-25, F 2 Responses Jun 23, 2011

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    There was a time when I knew exactly

    who I was, what I was, and all that entailed. However, recently that sense of identity has escaped me. There used to be this clear-cut line of what was me, and what was not. Now I'm seeing that line blur as new experiences force me to look at myself in a different light. Was I...
    LaSouris LaSouris 18-21, T 1 Response Jan 27, 2015

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    I am married to a man.

    Thought I was happy till I met her. Now I don't know how to be me without her....
    lush23 lush23 31-35 Nov 18, 2014

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    I've lost myself and everything in my world

    that is important to me. I recently lost my wife because of online affairs and ***********. The fantasy of being with someone else was all a lie. The true love of my life is gone now. I am alone. I wish I never hurt her the way I have. I have broke her heart so many times...
    Qman85 Qman85 26-30, M Feb 8, 2014

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    June 21, 2009 I never knew

    that day could end up being one that was burned in the back of my brain for ever. Well buddy it's been six years since mommy lost you. To top that off today is also fathers day. I know your deadbeat doesn't acknowledge you ever existed but that's okay. Momma still talks to you...
    forgottenheart forgottenheart 18-21, F Jun 21, 2015

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    An attempt at understanding the person

    that i truly am and not of whom they have "manipulated" in to their own idyllic image. Why am i who i am (or at least seem to be) instead of who i should be is a question that i find posing of myself with an increasing consistency as things take shape. Are all of the random...
    WitchOfWoodStock WitchOfWoodStock 36-40, M 2 Responses Jun 3, 2015

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    I Just Dont Anymore. . .

    . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . .. :-(
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Sep 2, 2013

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    Million dollar question.

    I can't bring myself to make a decision on where I want my life to go. I feel like I'm in a rut in my marriage, in my social and professional life. I need to get my crap together and I just keep running in circles when I know the path is right there to escape. Maybe, that's my...
    ladymadrox ladymadrox 26-30, F 1 Response Oct 9, 2015

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    this is sad, so so sad.

    .. slipping away into the unseen, not seen nor heard... never will I see the sun rise again, or the melody of the song... notes dangling in midair, nowhere to land yet immobilized, the beautiful voice never again heard... the sun sets but one day it might not rise, and now I know...
    isohatetheworld isohatetheworld 70+, F 1 Response Jul 27, 2015

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    Im Not Who I Used To Be

    Everyday i hear the sound Of the heartache knocking at my door I have no choice but to let it in And watch it transform who i was before Memories grow distant People change I no longer see, feel, smell , taste , sound the same I have been betrayed By those i loved My sister...
    Violet86 Violet86 22-25, F 3 Responses Jul 5, 2011

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    I morph into the people I'm around.

    But I want to be me. I don't know how. I feel lost and helpless. I don't know what to do.
    kaiiiiitlyn kaiiiiitlyn 22-25, F 7 Responses Jan 16, 2014

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    I really dont know what the **** is going on

    with me. Depression has always run in my family, we have mental illness in the past but never through my mother. I sleep, constantly it's like my only happy place, well I wouldn't even call it happy just like a "get away". I used to smoke weed every once and awhile but now it's...
    Hakunamatata420 Hakunamatata420 18-21 Dec 28, 2014

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    Who am I? Who should I ask,

    I wonder. How many people do I have to ask in order to find out? Can't I just ask myself?
    MyLady9 MyLady9 46-50, F 12 Responses Jul 24, 2015

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