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I Don't Let People Get Close to Me

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 297 People

    When Did This Happen?

    I don't even know why I'm doing this to myself. I'm lying in bed as I type this, crying my eyes out. When did this happen to me? When did I become so alone? Why can't I let people just understand? Why can't I believe it's possible for others to understand? Why is it that people...
    Laurbearr Laurbearr 18-21, F Aug 23, 2013

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    I Have Had Walls Up All My Life

    I never ever let people get close to me and i was regarded as a stone because i never showed much emotion, then i left my boyfriend in, and then he broke my heart. Then a few weeks ago I met a man who was honestly perfect and i didnt push him away, we were dating and then all his...
    Shausy18 Shausy18 18-21 Mar 12, 2012

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    People Say I Am Intimidatin...

    People say I am intimidating but I try to be on purpose.  If people don't get too close than I don't have to worry about what will come out.  I don't want to get hurt and am tired of the pain that comes with caring.
    AlwaysHopeful AlwaysHopeful 26-30, F 2 Responses Oct 31, 2008

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    Not At First

    It takes me a long while to trust people and let them get close to me. I've been hurt so many times that I'm paranoid about everyone I meet for the first time. And I stay paranoid for a long time too. It depends on the person, but it usually takes a few months before I feel safe...
    mimsy2 mimsy2 26-30, F Jan 12, 2009

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    EXCEPT Here In Ep

    I'VE LEARNED NOT TO. I WON'T SAY I NEVER WILL AGAIN BUT IT WILL TAKE A LOT OF TIME FOR ME TO TRUST SOMEONE. I HAVE TO KNOW THEM FOR A WHILE TO SEE IF THEIR GOOD BEHAVIOR IS CONSISTENT OR JUST A FRONT TO GET NEXT TO ME. THE LONGEST ANYONE HAS KEPT UP THE FACADE IS ABOUT 3 MONTHS...
    fukkboii fukkboii 36-40, F 2 Responses Jan 12, 2009

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    Cycles

    I'm walking in cycles, ever since i've started high school. My dad cheated on my mother, my status quo has fallen low, which I can barely manage. I wanted to be a great Man, who can change the world, even just a little bit. So, the cycle goes like this. I enter a new environment...
    devilirium devilirium 18-21, M 1 Response Feb 5, 2013

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    I'm Always Yelling..

    Whenever someone gets close to me, I find something wrong to yell about to push them away. I really need help. I have no friends because of it, I'm losing my boyfriend because of this and I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. Every time I talk to someone that's close...
    bobbyspongee bobbyspongee 16-17 2 Responses Jun 10, 2010

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    I'm Stuck In A Box

    I come off as a very strong person in that I am always willing to give my friends advice, and I enjoy when people open up to me. I wish I could reciprocate but I get a terribly uneasy feeling after telling someone too much about myself. I don't enjoy talking about myself because...
    efg123 efg123 18-21 2 Responses Dec 27, 2010

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    I am just beginning high school.

    I have been at five schools in five years. I know longer know how to allow people in. It has to do with the fact that everytime I let someone in they're gone. It keeps people out because I have a fear of losing them even when I don't truly have them. It's really stressful...
    manfred2132 manfred2132 13-15, M Dec 10, 2013

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    Never Knew Me...

    Ever since I realized bonds can be broken I've chosen to keep who I really am to myself. Those around me feel they have me down to a science but they only have my defense mechanism figured out. I guess I'm writing tonight to put some of who I am out there and be vulnerable for...
    brittany3535 brittany3535 18-21, F 6 Responses Jan 31, 2012

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    Runs Without Knowing

     I don’t let people in, when the friendship or relationship starts to "grow" I'll find the smallest thing to get out of it. I have a past that shows in my everyday life. This has taken me to a place a self hatred and disappointment, I don't have a definite reason for why I do...
    baylieboop3 baylieboop3 18-21 2 Responses Jun 7, 2011

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    I'm The Reason I'm Isolated

    I used to always be a very outgoing happy go lucky guy. Very approachable, very friendly, never one to not have something to say. After high school I started having less and less luck meeting people I could trust or relate to. I found that many people would rather stab me in the...
    TheRaven1015 TheRaven1015 22-25, M 2 Responses Sep 27, 2013

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    I feel so alone..I'm afraid to let people in.

    .I'm 17 and I've never had a real friend...idk what a real friend even IS..I once cared to much for everyone and everything in this world but now I've locked myself up in my room only to come out for food..I feel so alone...I can barely manage to let anyone into my life now a...
    crosses8 crosses8 16-17, M 2 Responses May 28

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    Still Bothers Me

    I dont let people get close to me, neither physically nor emotionally, because some people just use you for what you're good for then toss you aside.  I had a good friend up until about sophomore year of high school. After we had stopped taking the same classes, and she didn...
    filthydieseltech filthydieseltech 22-25, F 6 Responses Nov 23, 2008

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    Caution Before Approaching

    It hurts. It really hurts.I'm not somebody who has gone through a lot of loss. Not loss as in death, anyway.But when it comes to friends, potential lovers; just people in general, I seem to drive them away.I'm never enough for them. They find someone better to be around, or they...
    fadingvioletdawn fadingvioletdawn 18-21, F Sep 5, 2012

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    Never Again.....

    When I was in high school, I let someone get close to me...a guy. But he played with my heart for a year and didn't really like me at all......it was just a game to him. I vowed never again to get close to people......I'm in college now and it is still haunting me until this day...
    Athlete2012 Athlete2012 18-21, F Sep 8, 2013

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    People Always Leave.

    With the exception of a very small number of people, people whom I care for or have gotten close with in the past have always ended up abandoning me or hurting me or both. People who I considered my best friends and truly cared about, have had a habit of leaving. It always...
    childofmystery childofmystery 18-21 1 Response Jun 6, 2011

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    Not Usually...

    I'm not sure if it's a basic personality characteristic of me, or more related to my social anxiety and general social awkwardness, but I've never been able to let people get close to me. Some say it's a defense mechanism to prevent yourself from being let down or taken advantage...
    EnigmaVest EnigmaVest 22-25, M 4 Responses Sep 1, 2009

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    I've Always Been This Way.

    I don't think it's normal though, or something I should be proud about.I was raised in an abusive household and I never built up the ability to trust. If you can't trust your family, how can you give it to strangers?It's very hard for me to make friends. Sometimes I want to, but...
    victolyn victolyn 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 2, 2011

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    I don't belive in "best friends" I have never

    had one. To be honest, no even me believe it. Through my whole life, I always had this person who gets under my skin and I want, say person, be my best friend. Someone I can lean on. I always put it in first place (isn't that what "best friends" do?) but I since I was betrayed...
    OrangeCaramel OrangeCaramel 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 24

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    I Would If....

    I felt that a person was actually trying to get close to me.  I generally don't  feel like anyone really has the time to change their daily routine, either they are too busy with their own family (I don't have kids) and I know it takes time to  really get to know...
    thinkingoutloud thinkingoutloud 46-50, F Mar 3, 2009

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    Life

    don't you think its weird how in life you get close to people, intimate tell each other everything, care for that person. but somehow their not in your life anymore, so you go on to find someone else and history manages to repeat itself. its not nice having to get to know really...
    iaintperfect iaintperfect 18-21 Aug 27, 2012

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    Preceed With Caution

    Life, for myself, when it has come to relationships has been a very dramactic experience for me. Never started out to be that way but just getting wrapped up into certain people it's like opening up a fortune cookie and really finding out what your fotune will be literally. You...
    Haunted5 Haunted5 56-60, F 1 Response Mar 31, 2012

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    People Would Never Know This About Me

    Most people that think they know me would find it hard to believe that I don't let people get close to me.  On the outside I am outgoing, confident and friendly but I dont ever really open up honestly to people.  I feel like there is a wall around me and I can't break it down...
    tate66 tate66 41-45 1 Response Jul 14, 2011

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    It'S Pain

    It seems like everyday someone else leaves. It's like once I open up to them, they disappear. Like they found someone better. Just last year I had the best of friends that anyone could ask for and we did absolutely everything together and now we pass each other like our...
    NoahRader NoahRader 13-15, M Jan 26, 2013

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    Only At Arm's Length

    I have a great relationship with my husband, but even that took some time, and he's the only person in the world I've ever truly been comfortable being myself around. Otherwise I've been pretty good at ducking out of relationships and friendships the minute things get too...
    lemonsoda lemonsoda 26-30, F May 5, 2012

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    That's Just the Way I Am

    All my life I've trusted anyone and everyone and it's always come back to bite me in the a$$. Out of all the friends I've had I've never once let one person know all about me. My best friend of 8 years is really the one person that knows the most but even the I don't let him get...
    lovable143 lovable143 26-30, F 3 Responses Dec 28, 2008

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    Always Run

    I was thinking about this the other day and whenever someone tries to get close to me I always end up running. It's like the more people wanna know me the less I wanna share. I have had people try so hard before and it just pushes me away. I think it's just everything they wanna...
    boby6 boby6 22-25, M 1 Response Sep 15, 2013

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    Its Safer Alone Now

    Hi All I am unable to allow anyone to get close to me these days. I have some good friends and come from a great family. I had always been a bit quite but gradually I started to relax around women and had some great relationships and a good healthy sex life, but I think I was...
    spr5858 spr5858 51-55, M Dec 14, 2012

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    I Used To Be This Way...but A Miracle Happened!!

    I found out Thru a lot of study...That you are usually afraid of what others will see.  They might not like you, or you fear you really have nothing to give, share or grow the relationship with....so you close down.  And, being afraid of being hurt is #1 or #2 on the list...
    livingwell livingwell 51-55, F 95 Responses Oct 28, 2011

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    Please Don't

    I am not a good person and quite frankly, I don't want people to care about me. I don't want to get emotionally attached to people. I already am emotionally attached to someone, and I don't regret it, but it's going to hurt if it ever ends. I don't want people to try to get close...
    udamansteel udamansteel 16-17, F Aug 4, 2013

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    I'm Lonely

    I have managed to do a great job of keeping people at a distance. Such a great job that I have extremely few truly meaningful relationships. I manage to attract all the self involved people who are perfectly content to keep things strictly surface because I am one of them...
    sitkashiva sitkashiva 46-50 2 Responses Jan 17, 2011

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    For Me, It's Defense.

    As a child anyone who touched me hurt me. So I learned that letting people get close = being hurt. Plus I really like my personal space. I need lots of it or I feel like I'm suffocating. I get weird looks when I ask people to back away a little but I just tell them it's personal...
    SwitchFan4Life SwitchFan4Life 22-25, F Jul 19, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    They always end up making me feel like I'm nothing to them! This is the reason I keep people at arms length and don't get close to many! *sigh*
    Saram1985 Saram1985 26-30, F 6 Responses Aug 8

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    I don't understand when people ask for help and then just don't accept it. Make up your mind and know what you want. Either you want help or you don't. If you want someone to help...
    idontmindtherain idontmindtherain 18-21, M Aug 7

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    People will come in the name of help, but deep inside they are up to something, it makes my brain hurt, knowing that everybody needs help, but if you let people in, they Fack you...
    roxanz roxanz 22-25, M Aug 22

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    Like wow... My mother had actually gave me a birthday hug today. It wasn't even that awkward either. She even gave me a birthday card. Well, it was a week earlier, but that was...
    CharleeLuv CharleeLuv 18-21, F Aug 12

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    When I bring food to school to share, I have answers like these: "No thanks, I'm full." "It's okay, you can have it." "Nah, I don't really like that." When someone else brings the...
    Artz4Life Artz4Life 16-17, F Aug 17

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    I read about all these, "I am the other woman/man" and about how much it sucks that they aren't there when u need them... I don't get it, is there some sort of thrill being the...
    Besidmyself Besidmyself 31-35, F Aug 18

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    Why do so some people who have backyards never use them? Instead, they insist on doing everything out front, on the porch, and annoy the hell out of me and the rest of the block in...
    Cristofori Cristofori 41-45, M 1 Response 3 days ago

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    I don't get why people add me without ever saying a thing first.i dont know you and you have never interacted with me on E.P. could you at least say something? otherwise- bye bye
    karenmbrown karenmbrown 51-55, T 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    So if you are stupid and uninteresting or have no experiences or all of them are dirty, I will not add you. I don't care if you're old or young or whatever else but you can't be...
    KirstenM2002 KirstenM2002 13-15, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    I still don't understand what a circle is
    gorgeoushobo gorgeoushobo 16-17, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    I grew up in a dysfunctional family and also wanted the close knit bonds I saw on the Walton's, the Brady Bunch, or Partridge family so I thought I could just create it but found...
    lllewyd lllewyd 56-60, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    If i've never spoken with you before... i'm not friending you, if you bash me because of a question I asked, and experience I have posted, or a comment I have made, and then try to...
    aviodthisnoid aviodthisnoid 13-15, F 2 days ago

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    I hate how judge mental people can be like everyone's **** stinks and there's no room for hypocrisy because no one is perfect. Although they may do something that you disagree with...
    aishalf aishalf 18-21, F Aug 11

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    Seems basically all people when they hit their 40s become lazy and let themselves go, its sad to see and they just end up with their wife/husband without being in love, not livin...
    bruhbrian bruhbrian 18-21, M 1 Response Aug 24

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    It's funny that it tends to be the perverts who add me to their circle. Then they'll send a message: "Hi" "Hey" "Wassup" or some one-or-two-word variation of those. They have a...
    Boulier Boulier 16-17, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    I hate people feeling sorry for me because it puts to much attention on me. People feel bad for me because my back pack is to heavy and i cant use my locker but i can handle my...
    MichaelEgitto MichaelEgitto 13-15, M 6 days ago

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    Chasing people ? I stopped doing that a long long time ago. Just be yourself and the right people will come to you, no need to beg anyone to stay or be in your life.
    Neshaxo Neshaxo 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 13

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    I know life would be easier if I could just forget what people in my life have been to me and meant to me, but it's hard. People who I've cared for who are no longer in my life...
    MAT5629 MAT5629 41-45, F 5 days ago