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I Don't Understand Myself Sometimes

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,554 People

    I've had so many people come

    and go throughout my life. Whether it's something they did or something I felt I've never had any interest in trying to hold on to them. I've never gone back asking them to forgive or forget or put the past behind us so we could be friends again. I'm 24 now and I've fought for a...
    DarknessWolf DarknessWolf 22-25, M 1 Response Apr 4, 2014

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    Why do i keep acting

    so happy? When deep down i'm falling apart. I don't understand why i keep pretending and why i still do.
    DreamingSouls DreamingSouls 13-15, F Sep 29, 2014

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    I'm Just An Idiot.

    I can't put it into words. It doesn't make sense to anyone. There's just this burning in my chest, this longing. But I don't know what it is that I want so badly. I thought it was a father, but now that I've started talking to him, I'm scared to start loving him. I mean, to...
    TrueBlueKid TrueBlueKid 13-15, F 2 Responses Oct 31, 2013

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    Feeling Absurd.............

    there are days when i don't recognize myself.........it feels like i m living somebody else's life and just watching myself from distance!!! i watch the tsunami of different emotions rising inside me and i don't even know why i am feeling whatever i am feeling right now...!i wish...
    snuffal snuffal 26-30, F Sep 14, 2011

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    Contemplating

       How can I know so much yet still want to go against what I know is the best thing to do. How can I know I'm heading for a cliff at 120mph yet still not hit the brakes when I see the edge.Oh yeah I forgot....................... I'm a stupid human.One day I want to do...
    rescue3 rescue3 31-35, M 3 Responses Jan 5, 2010

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    dying my hair black without permission

    and now i have just realised that the shower in the bathroom is broke so i have to use the bathroom in mums room this should be interesting
    siofrafay siofrafay 13-15, F Jun 22, 2014

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    I have a great life, I life

    as a European in a 'paradise.' however sometimes I just wonder what life is in general, I mean i'm at school talking about a subject to my friend and than 'BAM'; these thoughts come into my head like 'why is this life worth living?' 'Why is society so corrupted?' 'Why are we...
    TheObserverr TheObserverr 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 24, 2014

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    Confused

    Umm, Its kinda shallow, but sometimes I feel all of a sudden that I'm all alone, confused and something inside bothers me without exactly knowing why. I don't know why. I feel like I have to do something important. I try to look for it, for a while... But after sometime looking...
    nikkob nikkob 13-15 Nov 30, 2011

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    Things Girls Do

    OK, so I'd like to share some things I don't understand about the female gender... myself included. If I missed anything, leave me a comment! Also comment if you do any of the things I am about to mention. Self control OK, is it me or do girls have literally no self control? I...
    Dancergirl3 Dancergirl3 13-15 1 Response Sep 14, 2013

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    I dont kno what i feel,

    i kno its strange but i mean like when a friend is sad about something, i dont kno if i actually felt sad like i would understand the pain theyre going thru. I would be there to comfort them and give them advice and let them kno theyre going to be okay. Basically, i dont kno if...
    UniqueBunnii UniqueBunnii 18-21, F May 30, 2014

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    I feel so lost and empty

    and hurt. I feel l like I lose everything I dare to feel strongly for. what I felt with him was beyond love, it was beyond words our logic or reason. It was pure undiluted ecstasy, a true emotional and spiritual connection, or so I thought. I. didn't even know our care what he...
    LittleBirds0827 LittleBirds0827 36-40, F 1 Response Oct 22, 2014

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    Is Dating/marriage Really Worth It?

    I just had a talk with this girl that's not exactly my girlfriend, but we both really like each other. She asked if I've ever had a girlfriend, and I said no. She asked why, and I sort of told her why. I have many reasons, but I don't want to list them all here. But the...
    RopinTexan RopinTexan 22-25, M Dec 6, 2007

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    I guess you could say it's a defense mechanism.

    .. My mind repressed everytime my ex fought with me and emotionally abused me. So it's only fair to think my brain would repress my depression and emotions and keep it all at a dull roar until it explodes. The end result is always the same: I don't understand myself. Or why I...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Dec 13, 2014

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    my eyes r blue ! why yyyyyy!

    !! i loved my green eyes now there blue help how can i make them go back to green
    siofrafay siofrafay 13-15, F 1 Response Jun 26, 2014

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    Been feeling very lost.

    I am confused about my current relationship...I am afraid to ask for what I need or want...I think I don't know what I want...
    nfred89 nfred89 26-30, F May 24, 2014

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    When did I go from outgoing

    and fun loving to an introverted shut in? I just sort of realized that I have systematically become a boring homebody. I used to be a social butterfly, always out and about, stirring things up, and now I dread the thought of going to parties and meeting new people. Dread! To the...
    Therealabbeyroad Therealabbeyroad 22-25, F Aug 21, 2014

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    I have 3 moods 1. Helpful

    and Loving to others 2. Quiet and isolated from everyone 3. Pissed off at everyone who leads normal lives whereas I don't
    kxCobra kxCobra 18-21, F 3 Responses Dec 15, 2014

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    TheVirginRapids TheVirginRapids 18-21, F May 19, 2014

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    Understanding All My Personalities

    Well for a little over a month now I've been able to stay of my medication without any downsides. As of yesterday night I felt a relapse coming on, it's this feeling of having a dark blanket thrown over my being. Basically I felt off last night. All of insecurities came back to...
    EyesOfSeraphim EyesOfSeraphim 26-30, F Jun 23, 2011

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    Now Why Did I Do That?

    today i went to george webb's to eat. i ordered a bacon cheeseburger with fries and coffee. my meal was ready in three minutes, ok maybe six. six minutes, i'll say. the fries everything but the bun and the patty was under cooked. i sent the burger back because of the bacon. it...
    pariah pariah 26-30, F 2 Responses Oct 3, 2007

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    As I'm sitting this house wondering what going

    to happen in my later life. As right now I do not understand myself because there so much stuff that I wanted to do. Well I can't do that cause I don't have a car, which I'm still working on saving money. It look like it going to be long time for me to able to get the car. The...
    colonaileen colonaileen 26-30, F Dec 18, 2014

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    Parents just fought again.

    Some days I enjoy their fighting and other days like today I just wish they would stop. I'm not sure why I enjoy their fighting. I think part of it may be that whether I don't enjoy it or not, it will still continue to happen so might as well not get all moody over it right? Idk...
    kxCobra kxCobra 18-21, F Dec 13, 2014

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    Hello to all I'm just wondering you all well

    not all ask something on your profile and I try to help others and yes I be a smat *** to but I will take time answer or just put input in and after all my troubles it pops up this person don't take from people that ain't in my circle so and it's me being me why...
    daddylove4u daddylove4u 51-55, M Oct 19, 2014

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    My Body Is Here, But My Heart And Mind Are There.

    I moved away from my hometown Mesa, Arizona to Scottsdale Arizona. About 30 minutes away. Mesa is my home. I loved it to death. And being away kills me. I can't let go of Mesa. It's where I wanna be all the time. My thoughts and memories of being there overwhelm me so much, it...
    Thewastedyouth16 Thewastedyouth16 16-17, F 8 Responses Nov 19, 2012

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    You have things clear.

    ..you understand all is gone and done,yet you still feel.Why? There is no use,it is something wasted,trush to the garbage...why we keep going on with non sense feelings...only ruining you from deep inside with acute pain.No sense at all.
    4biandu 4biandu 31-35, F Sep 27, 2014

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    More like most of the times.

    Idk either im happy or not. Idk why sometimes i cry and get sad with no reasons. Its not like im not being grateful with my life but i really really hate this town. I want to leave so bad. I want a one way ticket to somewhere calm & not busy. And i like putting myself down. I...
    flamedoll flamedoll 16-17, F 2 Responses Sep 8, 2014

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    There's this guy. We hung out the other day

    and he was really nice to me and all. I had tons of fun and he was such a gentleman. But then he tried to kiss me. Being the blonde I am, my brain kinda froze up and I didn't know what to do so I turned away. So he just hugged me instead. I really don't know what to do about...
    JustAskAnything JustAskAnything 16-17, F 1 Response Sep 8, 2014

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    Idk.

    no matter how upset i am, i feel right as rain. i feel happy when i am depressed and depressed when i am happy. i have no control over my mood, and no matter what type of mood stablizers i'm on, i'm never quite okay. lately though, i've found that i am okay.  i will...
    spitrash spitrash 16-17, F 1 Response Jun 28, 2008

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    Lately I've been feeling really depressed.

    .. And the worse part is I know there are people who are experimenting much worse than me, but all that does is make me feel worse about feeling depressed
    musicgurl11 musicgurl11 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 12, 2014

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    How is a movie capable of completely destroying

    my mood. Its like i'm so complex i can relate to every character in every movie so their pain becomes my pain. It makes me feel worthless like i don't deserve love and the love i give isn't strong enough. How can a movie make me feel like that. How do i make it stop? Right now i...
    TwystedAbyss TwystedAbyss 18-21, M 2 Responses Jan 28, 2014

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    I'm always so shy. I'd act like something was

    more interesting or act like I'm busy so I don't have to do something simple, like greet friends. I can't even ask the salesperson for help. I can't buy something without thinking that they're judging me. I can't do anything. I hate it. I hate myself.
    kaylemkun kaylemkun 13-15, M Jan 15

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    Just Keep On Walking Because God's Looking At You

    Some days I just don't understand myself, I wonder what in God's name is going on up there in my head besides the party that goes on up there each and everyday. I look in the mirror and say to myself "My goodness you look sexy today" and then I walk out that door and walk into...
    LongLiveRockAndRoll LongLiveRockAndRoll 26-30, M Mar 3, 2013

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    Hahah no I don't. I always overanalyse

    and overreact and make a drama out of the smallest things and I don't know why the hell I do that. It's just dumb ??
    ifyoureabirdimabird ifyoureabirdimabird 13-15, F Mar 29

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    This past month has been an emotional

    rollercoaster. Sometimes I'm really happy, and hyper. I can't quit laughing and everything is so wonderful. But here lately it's like I'm slipping again. That depression I thought I had beat, that sinking feeling like I'm walking through quicksand and every time I get close to...
    TheRisingPhoenix TheRisingPhoenix 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 11, 2014

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    vjanee vjanee 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 23, 2014

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    I get a new notification signal.

    . Then when I go to see what it is , there's nothing there ..... Happens a lot ... Just happened a minute ago again
    Winston335 Winston335 46-50, M 5 Responses Nov 12, 2014

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    My sense of self is fleeting.

    I don’t know who I am. I walk past mirrors and can’t even recognise the person looking back. I find her hideous. I hide away. I wear my hair down to hide my face. I wear long and drooping clothing to hide the rest of me. I try not to take up much space and gravitate to the...
    lookingatstars lookingatstars 18-21, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    I just remembered something.

    It's so weird, and maybe disgusting? Um, when I was about 7-8, I wrote and illustrated an entire novel. However, it had sexually explicit material...is that bad or…? God, I'm such a weirdo...
    SimplyZero SimplyZero 16-17, F Apr 20, 2014

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    I get so angry I hate

    that about myself this anger just takes over .. I ask god please take this anger from me .. I notice how I get mad over stupid stuff . I get angry start destroying stuff an putting things in drinks smh something is not right .
    port524 port524 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 20, 2014

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    It's just one of those days

    where I ask myself too many questions , seems like I don't have a definite answer to them . I feel confused a lot these days , don't know who I am anymore . I wish to get away somewhere , somewhere far away from all those who know me and all those who I know. Stay alone for some...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Apr 7, 2014

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    Does anyone else start to have feelings

    for someone, get to know that person, and want to be in a relationship with them---but when they finally say they have feelings for you too then you completely lose interest? I just want to know if Im the only one. I don't understand it.
    summershields summershields 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 22

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    aaaaargh!!! roller coaster of emotions again.

    probably my 'daddy issues' rearing their ugly heads. long story short: I'm happy being alone. i love being single. And Yes, I'd love to have that special someone. yes, I get a lot of attention. I'm a female solo artist in a male dominated area so I'm very sought after...
    peepsqueek peepsqueek 31-35, F Mar 8

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    I Want What I Don't Want?

    This mood I've been in lately is very confusing. I don't want anything, and when I say anything, I mean ANYTHING. You could ask me, "Do you want lunch?" I'd say no. "Do you want to skip lunch?" I'd say no. Do I want to go out and make new friends? Do I want to spend time with...
    itsjustme1001 itsjustme1001 22-25, F 4 Responses Jun 13, 2010

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    I'm pissed that I'm not

    as empathetic as I want to be. Sometimes I just truly don't are and think people shouldn't dwell on things so much and should just move on and that's ****** up.
    panthrax00 panthrax00 16-17, M 1 Response Aug 11, 2014

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    When I was younger meeting people

    and getting to know them was so much easier because it was fun. Now I'm getting older and I feel like I have a sign on my face that says, "Don't tak to the freak". When we didn't have the Internet things were better.
    YourSecretAdmire22 YourSecretAdmire22 22-25, M 2 Responses Nov 19, 2014

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    The sound of laughter makes me angry

    but I find everything funny.
    imhim imhim 31-35, M Nov 16, 2014

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