I Don't Understand Myself Sometimes

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,749 People

    You think it's hard dealing with me?

    Try being the one that's living inside of me. I'm not in therapy, on medication, in counseling and dealing with anxieties just because I'm bored. Some thing is going on inside of me that I don't understand and I project it wrong - anger, hostility, rage, etc. - because it has a...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Dec 20, 2015

    Yes... and then no...

    . Left.... then right.... High.... then drop to a low. wtf..
    endlessl0ve endlessl0ve
    26-30, F
    Sep 25, 2015

    I'm always so shy. I'd act like something was

    more interesting or act like I'm busy so I don't have to do something simple, like greet friends. I can't even ask the salesperson for help. I can't buy something without thinking that they're judging me. I can't do anything. I hate it. I hate myself.
    kaylemkun kaylemkun
    16-17, M
    Jan 15, 2015

    I'm pissed that I'm not

    as empathetic as I want to be. Sometimes I just truly don't are and think people shouldn't dwell on things so much and should just move on and that's ****** up.
    panthrax00 panthrax00
    18-21, M
    1 Response Aug 11, 2014

    My Body Is Here, But My Heart And Mind Are There.

    I moved away from my hometown Mesa, Arizona to Scottsdale Arizona. About 30 minutes away. Mesa is my home. I loved it to death. And being away kills me. I can't let go of Mesa. It's where I wanna be all the time. My thoughts and memories of being there overwhelm me so much, it...
    Thewastedyouth16 Thewastedyouth16
    16-17, F
    8 Responses Nov 19, 2012

    Now Why Did I Do That?

    today i went to george webb's to eat. i ordered a bacon cheeseburger with fries and coffee. my meal was ready in three minutes, ok maybe six. six minutes, i'll say. the fries everything but the bun and the patty was under cooked. i sent the burger back because of the bacon. it...
    pariah pariah
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Oct 3, 2007

    I just remembered something.

    It's so weird, and maybe disgusting? Um, when I was about 7-8, I wrote and illustrated an entire novel. However, it had sexually explicit material...is that bad orโ€ฆ? God, I'm such a weirdo...
    SimplyZero SimplyZero
    16-17, F
    Apr 20, 2014

    I get a new notification signal.

    . Then when I go to see what it is , there's nothing there ..... Happens a lot ... Just happened a minute ago again
    Winston335 Winston335
    46-50, M
    4 Responses Nov 12, 2014

    Really i don't๐Ÿ˜”im a swinging door.

    One minute im ok next im not, im going with the flow then im agianst it, im up and down. My past probably has alot to do with how my life has turned out. I make future plans i take it day by day๐Ÿ‘because knowing me i never know where ill end up.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Feb 16

    Why is it that I've been told I give great

    advice, I can make a person feel better at the worst of times, yet I don't have the ability to guide myself out of my sadness? I miss my first love. I miss my sister. I feel so lost, like there's no one I can trust
    CindyLEvans CindyLEvans
    18-21, F
    Oct 10, 2015

    Contemplating

       How can I know so much yet still want to go against what I know is the best thing to do. How can I know I'm heading for a cliff at 120mph yet still not hit the brakes when I see the edge.Oh yeah I forgot....................... I'm a stupid human.One day I want to do...
    rescue3 rescue3
    31-35, M
    3 Responses Jan 5, 2010

    I guess you could say it's a defense mechanism.

    .. My mind repressed everytime my ex fought with me and emotionally abused me. So it's only fair to think my brain would repress my depression and emotions and keep it all at a dull roar until it explodes. The end result is always the same: I don't understand myself. Or why I...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Dec 13, 2014
    vjanee vjanee
    22-25, F
    1 Response Jun 23, 2014

    Is Dating/marriage Really Worth It?

    I just had a talk with this girl that's not exactly my girlfriend, but we both really like each other. She asked if I've ever had a girlfriend, and I said no. She asked why, and I sort of told her why. I have many reasons, but I don't want to list them all here. But the...
    RopinTexan RopinTexan
    22-25, M
    Dec 6, 2007

    i feel desperate, mad,

    depressed, frustrated.. all of it at once and sometimes i don't even know why. when i'm like this, i get to hurt the ones i love.. and what's weird is that, i actually do not care how bad i can treat them.
    holygoth holygoth
    18-21, F
    Sep 21, 2015

    When I was younger meeting people

    and getting to know them was so much easier because it was fun. Now I'm getting older and I feel like I have a sign on my face that says, "Don't tak to the freak". When we didn't have the Internet things were better.
    YourSecretAdmire22 YourSecretAdmire22
    22-25, M
    2 Responses Nov 19, 2014

    More like most of the times.

    Idk either im happy or not. Idk why sometimes i cry and get sad with no reasons. Its not like im not being grateful with my life but i really really hate this town. I want to leave so bad. I want a one way ticket to somewhere calm & not busy. And i like putting myself down. I...
    flamedoll flamedoll
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Sep 8, 2014

    Idk.

    no matter how upset i am, i feel right as rain. i feel happy when i am depressed and depressed when i am happy. i have no control over my mood, and no matter what type of mood stablizers i'm on, i'm never quite okay. lately though, i've found that i am okay.  i will...
    spitrash spitrash
    16-17, F
    1 Response Jun 28, 2008

    ^replace "myself" with people I don't get

    why people that are ages 13-15 say that they're 54 or 21 on EP. LIKE WHAT'S THE POINT
    lunaticunicorn lunaticunicorn
    13-15, F
    Jan 19

    As I'm sitting this house wondering what going

    to happen in my later life. As right now I do not understand myself because there so much stuff that I wanted to do. Well I can't do that cause I don't have a car, which I'm still working on saving money. It look like it going to be long time for me to able to get the car. The...
    colonaileen colonaileen
    26-30, F
    Dec 18, 2014

    I just love how people can just come into your

    life as "the best thing that ever happened to you", and they turn out to be nothing but heartache and grief. And you just keep think to yourself," Why do I even??" But as much as you wanna leave, you cam't, and you feel like a dummy for staying, and you wait, for the day when...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Oct 16, 2015

    I feel so lost and empty

    and hurt. I feel l like I lose everything I dare to feel strongly for. what I felt with him was beyond love, it was beyond words our logic or reason. It was pure undiluted ecstasy, a true emotional and spiritual connection, or so I thought. I. didn't even know our care what he...
    LittleBirds0827 LittleBirds0827
    41-45, F
    Oct 22, 2014

    My sense of self is fleeting.

    I donโ€™t know who I am. I walk past mirrors and canโ€™t even recognise the person looking back. I find her hideous. I hide away. I wear my hair down to hide my face. I wear long and drooping clothing to hide the rest of me. I try not to take up much space and gravitate to the...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Jul 22, 2015

    i don't understand myself ,

    i want to do a lot of thing but when i started learning any new hobby , i stop doing after a while ,i want anyone to help me to answer that . why i am stopping learn or do anything i want ?? , in the beginning i start with a lot of will but after a while i start feel boring , in...
    ahmedsaf270 ahmedsaf270
    18-21, M
    Feb 28

    Parents just fought again.

    Some days I enjoy their fighting and other days like today I just wish they would stop. I'm not sure why I enjoy their fighting. I think part of it may be that whether I don't enjoy it or not, it will still continue to happen so might as well not get all moody over it right? Idk...
    kxCobra kxCobra
    22-25, F
    Dec 13, 2014
    TheVirginRapids TheVirginRapids
    22-25, F
    May 19, 2014

    Understanding All My Personalities

    Well for a little over a month now I've been able to stay of my medication without any downsides. As of yesterday night I felt a relapse coming on, it's this feeling of having a dark blanket thrown over my being. Basically I felt off last night. All of insecurities came back to...
    EyesOfSeraphim EyesOfSeraphim
    26-30, F
    Jun 23, 2011

    I Want What I Don't Want?

    This mood I've been in lately is very confusing. I don't want anything, and when I say anything, I mean ANYTHING. You could ask me, "Do you want lunch?" I'd say no. "Do you want to skip lunch?" I'd say no. Do I want to go out and make new friends? Do I want to spend time with...
    itsjustme1001 itsjustme1001
    22-25, F
    4 Responses Jun 13, 2010

    Hahah no I don't. I always overanalyse

    and overreact and make a drama out of the smallest things and I don't know why the hell I do that. It's just dumb ??
    ifyoureabirdimabird ifyoureabirdimabird
    16-17, F
    Mar 29, 2015

    I don't know why I even bothered being there

    for people when they don't even show the slightest bit of appreciation. but instead they kick you out completely without ever questioning your good intentions. sorry I don't deserve such negativity in my life
    Kywen97 Kywen97
    18-21, F
    1 Response Sep 25, 2015

    Hello to all I'm just wondering you all well

    not all ask something on your profile and I try to help others and yes I be a smat *** to but I will take time answer or just put input in and after all my troubles it pops up this person don't take from people that ain't in my circle so and it's me being me why...
    daddylove4u daddylove4u
    51-55, M
    Oct 19, 2014

    I've had so many people come

    and go throughout my life. Whether it's something they did or something I felt I've never had any interest in trying to hold on to them. I've never gone back asking them to forgive or forget or put the past behind us so we could be friends again. I'm 24 now and I've fought for a...
    DarknessWolf DarknessWolf
    26-30, M
    1 Response Apr 4, 2014

    aaaaargh!!! roller coaster of emotions again.

    probably my 'daddy issues' rearing their ugly heads. long story short: I'm happy being alone. i love being single. And Yes, I'd love to have that special someone. yes, I get a lot of attention. I'm a female solo artist in a male dominated area so I'm very sought after...
    peepsqueek peepsqueek
    31-35, F
    Mar 8, 2015

    Feeling Absurd.............

    there are days when i don't recognize myself.........it feels like i m living somebody else's life and just watching myself from distance!!! i watch the tsunami of different emotions rising inside me and i don't even know why i am feeling whatever i am feeling right now...!i wish...
    snuffal snuffal
    26-30, F
    Sep 14, 2011

    Does anyone else start to have feelings

    for someone, get to know that person, and want to be in a relationship with them---but when they finally say they have feelings for you too then you completely lose interest? I just want to know if Im the only one. I don't understand it.
    summershields summershields
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Feb 22, 2015

    Things Girls Do

    OK, so I'd like to share some things I don't understand about the female gender... myself included. If I missed anything, leave me a comment! Also comment if you do any of the things I am about to mention. Self control OK, is it me or do girls have literally no self control? I...
    Dancergirl3 Dancergirl3
    16-17
    1 Response Sep 14, 2013

    It's just one of those days

    where I ask myself too many questions , seems like I don't have a definite answer to them . I feel confused a lot these days , don't know who I am anymore . I wish to get away somewhere , somewhere far away from all those who know me and all those who I know. Stay alone for some...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Apr 7, 2014

    I'm Just An Idiot.

    I can't put it into words. It doesn't make sense to anyone. There's just this burning in my chest, this longing. But I don't know what it is that I want so badly. I thought it was a father, but now that I've started talking to him, I'm scared to start loving him. I mean, to...
    TrueBlueKid TrueBlueKid
    16-17, F
    2 Responses Oct 31, 2013

    I guess planning is just a way

    for me to get all the excited energy out of my system. That's all chapter summaries are, plans. And I've got more plans for it, but now I don't even want to write it anymore. This always happens and it's really frustrating, but of course not frustrating enough to make me get in...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Sep 22, 2015

    I just figured out a way to kind of explain

    why something's are so hard. the doctors have no idea why I'm alive. I fought back against almost impossible odds. I have what can almost be described as survivors guilt. but not really. I know it's not rational to question why 32 year old woman lived and not an 82 year old man...
    CallmeHopelessNotRomantic CallmeHopelessNotRomantic
    36-40, F
    3 Responses Oct 3, 2015

    I have 3 moods 1. Helpful

    and Loving to others 2. Quiet and isolated from everyone 3. Pissed off at everyone who leads normal lives whereas I don't
    kxCobra kxCobra
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Dec 15, 2014

    Sometimes I am not as sensitive

    as I thought, as innocent as and as shy as I used to be. Sometimes I act like a different person subconsciously.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Nov 2, 2015

    โ”์˜คํ”ผ์™€์š”โ”โ”ฃํ™๋Œ€ํœด๊ฒŒํ…”โ”ฃ

    ์—ฌ์ž์นœ๊ตฌ โ”ต o P Y o 0 1 . ์ปด โ”ต ์˜คํ”ผ ์ž˜ํ•˜๋Š”๊ณณโ”์˜คํ”ผ์™€์š”โ”โ”ฃ์„ ๋ฆ‰ํœด๊ฒŒํ…”โ”ฃ ์Œˆ๋งˆ์ด โ”ต o P Y o 0 1 . ์ปด โ”ต ์˜คํ”ผ ์ž˜ํ•˜๋Š”๊ณณโ”์˜คํ”ผ์™€์š”โ”โ”ฃ์ผ์‚ฐํœด๊ฒŒํ…”โ”ฃ ์ผํƒˆ โ”ต o P Y o 0 1...
    opyo2018 opyo2018
    26-30, F
    1 Response Oct 1, 2015

    Why do i keep acting

    so happy? When deep down i'm falling apart. I don't understand why i keep pretending and why i still do.
    DreamingSouls DreamingSouls
    16-17, F
    1 Response Sep 29, 2014

    Confused

    Umm, Its kinda shallow, but sometimes I feel all of a sudden that I'm all alone, confused and something inside bothers me without exactly knowing why. I don't know why. I feel like I have to do something important. I try to look for it, for a while... But after sometime looking...
    nikkob nikkob
    13-15
    Nov 30, 2011

    The sound of laughter makes me angry

    but I find everything funny.
    imhim imhim
    36-40, M
    Nov 16, 2014

    So does anybody have a very sensitive sense of

    smell. Now I'm not talking about how strong an odor is I'm talking about what you get from the what I call scent. Like males tend to smell more bitter and females are more nutruel...when not being affected by scented stuff like perfume and stuff like that. I do hate perfume...
    BioWolf1234 BioWolf1234
    16-17, M
    Sep 19, 2015

    Sometimes I get this pressure in my teeth

    and a pulling feeling like someone is slowly pulling my teeth downwards...the only difference I notice is my teeth feel sharper. Does anyone else experience this. It doesn't usually hurt but can sometimes but only a little bit
    BioWolf1234 BioWolf1234
    16-17, M
    Sep 19, 2015

    How is a movie capable of completely destroying

    my mood. Its like i'm so complex i can relate to every character in every movie so their pain becomes my pain. It makes me feel worthless like i don't deserve love and the love i give isn't strong enough. How can a movie make me feel like that. How do i make it stop? Right now i...
    TwystedAbyss TwystedAbyss
    18-21, M
    2 Responses Jan 28, 2014

    Im recently separated about 5 months ago.

    . Im happy without my husband, i think its a relief not having him by my side but I feel lonely and incomplete (I don't know why but I'm sure he's not the reason) and I'm tired raising our twins ( love them so much), working longer hours, no vacation, and so many bills to pay!
    tine23 tine23
    26-30, F
    Aug 8, 2015
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