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I Don't Want to Live Anymore

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 176 People

    I think this weekend is

    when I call it quits... The numbness has gone away and I have a blurred vision headache now and lights are effecting my eyesight and the pain... Even writing this is hard... The memories keep coming back of how I'm not good enough for work and losing the best thing that ever...
    lostunit lostunit 26-30, M 2 Responses Sep 11

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    I don't want to live anymore.

    I understand my life is the way it has to be. I know no matter what I can never change it. Nothing I do will do any good if it's not in the plan for me. So, meanwhile I sit and get more mentally ill by the day. I don't want to live like that. I live in shame...shame of things I...
    mystory37 mystory37 36-40, F Mar 16

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    I Dont Want To Live!

    I so wanted to die last night. An old friend made me promise I would not do it. I had the whole procedure set up. Then I woke up this morning wishing I hadn’t made that promise. I still want to die! I’m so tired seeing my kids pain and struggles and on top if that everyone...
    darkreality68 darkreality68 41-45, M 2 Responses Oct 13, 2010

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    Made Up My Mind.

    I've decided to kill myself.  I just have to figure out how to do it successfully.    I thought once you decided to kill yourself you were supposed to feel happy and calm.  I still just want to cry. 
    missyfin missyfin 26-30, F 2 Responses Feb 24, 2010

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    I Don'T Want To Live Anymore And I Don'T Know What To Do About It

    I don't have a bad live.I have plenty of people that love my or at list they say they do.I'm well respected at work.It's just I'm so tired,I can't see strait.Every thing takes such an enormous effort, it's emotionally and physically draining.I don't know what to do, how much...
    vladimir1144 vladimir1144 41-45, M Jun 16, 2013

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    Jess.

    Jess,It’s  Christmas  day, I’ve  opened  up all my  presents, I’ve worn, played, or read  them  all  by  now. I love  them, all  of  them,  they’re so polished and neat and new, maybe  I  won’t  be  saying that a couple of months from now, but right now...
    NoticeWhoIAm NoticeWhoIAm 18-21 Dec 28, 2010

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    ...when half of the world is born better

    than you. They get to be the fighters and warriors I always want to be. I am forever cursed to be under their shadow as an inferior version of them being the real human beings unless if I end it sooner or later.
    ejy2 ejy2 18-21, F Dec 19, 2013

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    I'm such a loser. I'm 28 years old

    and I haven't had sex in 8 years. I'll try to get with girls but they always just pass me by. It's always the same, it's like a constant cycle of trying only to fail. All I do is fail. It seems so much easier. It seems like everyone else is having sex all the time. Why not me...
    statesofunrest statesofunrest 26-30, M 2 Responses Dec 17, 2013

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    God please... If your reading this,

    if your seeing my pain, than please I beg you. Take my life... I don't care how just take it soon... I can't live like this anymore... I miss everyone that I love and care so much about, but I can't have them back! I've been used and abused, and I can't have those memonlents...
    lostunit lostunit 26-30, M 2 Responses Aug 12

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    One Thing After Another

    I have gotten to the point where I dont want to be here anymore. Ive known a few people in my lifetime that have killed themselves and each time I thought about how sad that was and I felt for them, but I never understood them. I understand them now and that scares me. Back in...
    janedoe6452 janedoe6452 26-30, F 1 Response Feb 28, 2013

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    (Probably no one will read this.

    Oh well. I should get used to it.) What do you do, when there's nothing to live for? When there's nothing that makes you happy any more, when you have no goals whatsoever, when all you want to do is to lay down and lose your conciousness? What do you do, when you feel like a...
    Mayome Mayome 18-21, F 3 Responses Jan 7

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    Its taking every ounce of my willpower not to

    start cutting! God dam it, I hate myself so much, all this physical and mental pain! God d it please just kill me. I know I can't have the people I love back, I know I can't fix anything, please just kill me now! If rather be 6 feet underground that way it won't matter what...
    lostunit lostunit 26-30, M 3 Responses Aug 5

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    Sometimes...

    Sometimes I get this way, when I just think its better to throw the towel in and say **** it, and quit, because honestly, is it all worth the pain and suffering? I don't really know on most days, but today, when the pain *physical* is so bad, that yes, I do think of death as a...
    deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses Jan 6, 2011

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    Killed For Being Kind

    I have given in to pressures to have a baby and now I am beginning to resent my spouse.  Awhile back she complained about alienated from family and asked if it was ok for her sister to come and live with us.  I agreed because I knew what it would mean to her but I did not think...
    huggyshell huggyshell 26-30 1 Response Jun 2, 2012

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    I don't think I'll ever be happy

    as long I stay here around so many negative rude people. The only people who are actually somewhat nice are a lot older than me and every person I find to be around my age are total jerks. I have a long abusive background story that I won't dare speak of here. I grow tired of...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Sep 8

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    “I Hate Living, It’s Not My Choice.”

    How does one handle the morning When you wake but don’t want to live Having a list of agendas But not a care do you have to give Surviving every day Only because your children are alive on this earth Hating yourself chaotically And the Codependency that makes you feel like dirt...
    darkreality68 darkreality68 41-45, M 5 Responses Jun 8, 2011

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    Surrender.

    Funny little phone number mocking me at the top of this group...if you are in crisis...blah blah blah I'm beyond crisis now. I'm surrendering.  Another night of verbal abuse. Of what a POS I am. And I wonder what if I don't take my pretty little 50mg lifesavers what if I...
    GoodEnough09 GoodEnough09 41-45 15 Responses Oct 19, 2009

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    I can't live without them.

    .. I have no happiness, no purpose to get up... I can't get anything out of my head. The ideas of dying bring some happiness, but than I snap back to reality and notice I'm still nothing more than a tool to be discarded at will. Like do you truly know what it feels like to have...
    lostunit lostunit 26-30, M 1 Response Sep 20

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    I Just Want Everything To End

    I honestly don't know any reason to live anymore. I can't stand my life and I hate how I feel all of the time. I wake up not wanting to do anything and I go to sleep crying. I feel like I don't fit in with the world at all... nothing makes me happy anymore. Honestly, if I didn't...
    amelia93 amelia93 18-21, F Nov 9, 2012

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    Living Hurts

    WAKING TO ANOTHER DAY IS THE SAME AS ANY DAY. I THINK ABOUT KILLING MYSELF EVERYDAY. I HAVE PUSHED PASS THIS FOR YEARS BUT CAN'T SEEM TO GET AWAY FROM IT. I KEEP SAYING SEE WHAT TOMORROW HAS. NOTHING!
    carol6649 carol6649 61-65, F Feb 6, 2013

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    Why I Live

    i dont wanna live. why i live ? for what ? when grow up, jobs and other things. if i live, i will be waiting for die. why i live ? i have no reason to live. i m tired to survive. i am tired to think.
    zargana zargana 22-25 Jun 4, 2012

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    Divorce

    Seem like I have been married most of my life and now after 30 years I am on the edge of divorce . There is no hope, my prayers have not been answered; I do not want to go on / I do not want to live.I tried my level best to reconcile and asked for us to go to a counseler but...
    cobots cobots 66-70 May 27, 2011

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    Bipolar

    i have had bp for 30 yrs and iam tiered of medication the doctors & depression...
    luvmyorkies luvmyorkies 51-55, F 1 Response Aug 22, 2012

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    I Do Not Want To Live On This Planet Anymore

    I've always seemed to be a person with goals and objectives, and I have always wanted to be successful in my life, but nowadays I feel like life does not make any sense to me because I have never had a lot of money, I have never owed my first car or even gotten a driver's license...
    Piggillia81 Piggillia81 31-35, M Mar 7, 2013

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    Decision Made

    After battling for over 10 years with these thoughts I have decided to kill myself. This is my fourth attempt. This time I will succeed. Just need a little advice as I want to get it right. I'm choosing overdose as my method, I know there are better ways but they are inaccessible...
    nevertellagain nevertellagain 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 28, 2011

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    Life is to overwhelming

    when you don't have enough money to pay for my perscription medications, food, pay all your bills etc.
    Speedy589 Speedy589 56-60, F Jan 8

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    This Is Not At Cry Out For Help.

    Life hurts, it hurts too ******* much!! You can have everything but feel nothing inside. I've shared stories about past tendencies to commit suicide but for reasons such as family members I couldn't do it. Well... I actually thought I can do this and they will get over it so, I...
    Phoenixxx84 Phoenixxx84 26-30, F 3 Responses Apr 15, 2013

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    Tried Of Living

    Let me first introduce myself, I am 48 year old male that is in very good shape that cares about other people and treats people with respect and kindness, with that said I like to explain to everybody why I am tried of living.  About 8 years ago I married a lady that I...
    Art4812 Art4812 46-50, M 5 Responses Jun 12, 2010

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    I'm 29 years old and I just don't want to live

    anymore. My whole life has been a hardship and I feel like no matter what I do things just don't change for the good for me. I almost was tone deaf when I was a child. So all through school I was labeled and it sucked, because kids would make fun of you all the time. Then...
    feelinglost84 feelinglost84 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 17

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    So... Here I am researching again.

    .. Today it was nothing but bad news... Everything is adding up and I got nothing... No money and no job has added to it. Got some rum left, got painkillers and a few sleepers. 2 gravol left... Now I just need something that can shut down my system for a minimal of 8 hrs... If...
    lostunit lostunit 26-30, M a week ago

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    I feel so lost. I've been fighting this

    horrible feeling of sadness for the past few years on. I hate feeling like nothing I do is good enough. I'm a lot more confident that I used to be but it still cripples me and I find it so hard to believe in myself or my abilities. I have no idea what to do with my life. Since...
    LadyRed90 LadyRed90 22-25, F 1 Response Feb 20

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    Well...

    whatever hell is, I'm sure being separated from your own kind is a part of it. Every day i stay alive is like signing a personal statement that I still believe my kind will one day do the right thing. I don't have that much "faith" in my kind anymore.
    lesshissMORECAT lesshissMORECAT 31-35 6 Responses Oct 7, 2009

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    The Days Seem So Long, I Dont Want To Wake Tommorow

    Hello, my name is jeremiah, and i would like to tell you my story. I had a chaotic early childhood my parents always fought, dad was an alcoholic, but it made no difference to me cause i loved him and looked up to him. When i was six years, my parents seperated and i would live...
    6PathsofPain 6PathsofPain 18-21, M Oct 29, 2013

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    Nope

    whats's the point when you have nothing to look forward to anymore.
    xSilentlySufferingx xSilentlySufferingx 18-21, F 4 Responses Jul 5, 2010

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    Oh Wait...Yeah I Do

    Silly me! I almost forgot. There's something about existing that's just so, what's the word again? OH that's right, PLEASANT. Something about consciousness makes me enjoy being alive.
    inexperienced inexperienced 22-25, M 2 Responses Jan 6, 2011

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    Dead On The Inside

    I dream of the day I can die I am obsessed with it.  I know I am not aloud to take my own life and I have   babies so I won't but the day dreaming and wanting is so so strong.  Every day is an embarrassment and guilt to be me.  The...
    azgreer azgreer 26-30, F 3 Responses Dec 1, 2009

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    Because i know what i would need to be happy to

    do more in this world then just exist but I can never have that but I know i can't just exist i want to be alive i need to be alive the thought of living 60-80 more years just being comfortable never happy trapped in some gray space constantly stared at by my true self seeing...
    jackchurch jackchurch 18-21, M 1 Response Aug 6

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    I mean what's the point.

    Everyone hurts. I get treated like garbage. No body cares. I'm just here taking up air. No friends no family. Just heart aches... God please just kill me...
    lostunit lostunit 26-30, M 2 Responses a week ago

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    This Life Of Mine

    i just don't see a road happiness..i am 41 alone and always will be. its not that i am ugly to people or that i am a ugly person inside..its just that i may as well be..cause in this world those people are never alone..they have children..they have a husband...they have a life...
    balmoral balmoral 41-45 Sep 24, 2012

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    So here I am. Back to researching methods to

    kill myself. Cause I'm unsure that my plan will work... Its not fair... Everyone things this is some joke. If I had access to a gun I'd do it. If I had the keys to a car I'd do it. If I had access to the tall building I'd jump. But no... All I have access to is pills that...
    lostunit lostunit 26-30, M 2 Responses Sep 21

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    I Cant Bear The Pain Anymore

    I never thought I would get his low, yest I have had thought in the past but never this strong.  The pain I feel is too much to bear anymore.  I was emotionally, mentally and sexually abused my entire childhood.  I had my own child when I was only 16 I have fought and busted...
    Mammaoftwo09 Mammaoftwo09 26-30 2 Responses Apr 25, 2011

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    I Need To Prepare...

    I'm crying right now. I've fought for almost 23 years. I need prepare for my death. My health isn't getting any better. My life isn't getting better. I've tried to believe in God. I tried to trust other people and do good deeds. That was never enough. I just want to leave without...
    LovelessDeluxe LovelessDeluxe 22-25 9 Responses Jun 19, 2011

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    What To Do

    I've always felt like I wasn't supposed to be here, like I'm some sort of colossal error. I've never fit in anywhere, not even in my own family. I don't know a person that I'm not a burdon on or a bother to. Every once in a while, I try to pick myself up and act like I belong in...
    Blue1513 Blue1513 31-35, F Sep 22, 2013

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    We All Have A Choice To Give A "piece Of Our Hearts" Or A "piece Of Our Mind"!!

    I call it the "Rippling Effect"...A pebble is dropped......and the ripples......find their way to the shores of those that otherwise we would never have come in contact with!! How powerful are our Words!! Ask anyone that has been hurt deeply by them! Words can stay with you...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Mar 12, 2011

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    I Want To Stay As Close To The Edge As I Can Without Going Over. Out On The Edge You See All Kinds Of Things You Can't See From The Center.

    I'm listening to Riverside- I believe- and I find this amusing. I finished my suicide letter a few minutes ago at the advice of some site trying to talk me out of killing myself. I'm a little apathetic having spent the past hour and a few pages on my macbook telling my family...
    DeliriumofSway DeliriumofSway 22-25, F 1 Response Feb 25, 2010

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    All I can think about is everything

    that I can't have back and the smoudling ruin my life is... And if I had a gun I'd end this painful life... I can't do it no more... I want to end it. No I NEED to end it. I can't live without those that I care about and love so much... Gawd dammit why. Why isn't there an easy...
    lostunit lostunit 26-30, M 2 Responses Sep 6

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    So Sick of Life

    Life I can’t stand the world as it is today, I’m sick of all the people and everything that they say, Take a look around tell me what do you see? Cuz you can’t feel the pain that’s inside of me, Do you see that kid sitting over there? He wants to...
    thesoundofsilence thesoundofsilence 18-21, F 6 Responses Jul 3, 2007

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    Again I want to Die Another day of hating

    myself Broken and crushed is all I felt Wishing I didn't have children I love so much So my suicide would be easily dealt I’m so alone with no one in whom to confine My dog’s fur is soaking wet because I hold her when I cry I was once a fierce warrior and combat sergeant...
    darkreality68 darkreality68 41-45, M 1 Response Sep 22

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    Have Joy In Your Life.... And Learn To Harness The Winds Of Discouragement!!

    There was a time in my life when I was so destitute I wanted to just end it all....and almost did!  There is no greater pain than that of the Internal Pain felt when your wanting to just give up!  The pain was so unbearable for me.....and me being of the...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Nov 13, 2010

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    My Beautiful Man

    i met my husband 34 years ago,it was love at first sight.My friends warned me to stay away from him as he was "no good"but i didnt listen and married him.We had two children and a very stormy marriage,he had affairs,hit me ,stole from me and in general was as my friends said no...
    manet manet 51-55 Sep 12, 2010

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    Can`t Live With This Chroinc Pain And A Husband Who Does Nothing1

    Just short and sweet, I have been suffeeing with Chronic pain for 30 years. I now have a pain pump but it doesn`t help. I can only be up for a short time each day and would like to spend some of the time doing some things I enjoy, but my husband wants to do nothing but read, eat...
    Lonelybird Lonelybird 61-65 May 1, 2011

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