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I Drink to Numb Myself

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 83 People

    Good Or Bad Feelings, I Just Want To Be Numb

    I drink regardless if my life is going incredibly well or if it's just horrible. I'm so used to being numb that any bit of extreme emotion is just too much for me. I will admit that I do like to drink, period and it's not just solely to be numb, but it's a huge part of it. I don...
    orchidlove23 orchidlove23 22-25, F 2 Responses Apr 1, 2013

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    It helps dull the pain

    and numbs the feeling of lose
    Sufferedloss Sufferedloss 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 23

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    Use to

    That had to be the hardest thing in the world to do! I had to learn how to love me for me again!
    Mammy Mammy 36-40, F Mar 26, 2008

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    But That Takes A Lot

    I added this experience a while ago and never added the story until now. Since then I've changed my drinking habits a bit. I used to drink to numb myself. I found the pain was so strong, though, that it took an unbelieveably large amount of alcohol to get sufficiently numb. I...
    accomplice accomplice 41-45, M 4 Responses Jan 11, 2011

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    Tears of a Punk...

    When I drink, it's usually alone and usually because I can't handle how badly my life feels all the time. If I go out and drink with friends I usually end up crying, which is probably why nobody will drink with me anymore. That of course only makes me feel worse about my life. It...
    SadLittlePunk SadLittlePunk 31-35 2 Responses Dec 6, 2008

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    Oh No!

    i'm afraid this may become extreme alcoholism. and i don't think i can stop it.
    gypsysoul gypsysoul 22-25, F 1 Response Jun 29, 2007

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    It's Part Of My Life But Doesn't Rule My Life

    I have been drinking alcohol almost everyday since i was 14 yrs old, i am now 34.I am not a true alcoholic in the sense that yes i do go to work all day ,and can actually go days, weeks or months without alcohol. i just choose NOT to go without. :)
    daro76 daro76 31-35, F 2 Responses Jun 16, 2011

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    I'd Like To

    I don't drink a lot but I wish I could drink to numb myself from the pain of being lonely. If I had the chance I would drink 24/7. It seems like things that happen good in my life always come to an end eventually. I'm just exausted with it happening. I just want to be able...
    tngurl25 tngurl25 26-30, F 3 Responses Dec 11, 2011

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    I Have Recently

    been told that i was an alcoholic a few months back. i never thought my drinkin was serious. But turns out i was wrong. I still feel the need for drink but the lack of money stops me although every penny i get i usually save up for alcohol. It doesn't scare me...i just don't want...
    xXmissyXx xXmissyXx 16-18, F 2 Responses Aug 12, 2007

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    Comfortably Numb

    When I drink… If I’m careful, I can lose myself in the spinning. In the weightlessness of unconscious. I can float, away from everything. Forget for a while. It’s a fine line. To not let the disconnect allow me to think about the things that I don’t...
    onceandfutureglow onceandfutureglow 31-35, F 8 Responses Jul 27, 2010

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    I drink to numb myself.

    Because I feel pain. Drinking just numbs the pain a little. It still hurts, but it hurts a little less. I am alone, but when I drink, it matters less. I want to flee. I want to escape. I don't want to see or feel what I see or feel. I want to disconnect from my feelings. When I...
    klokenweb klokenweb 22-25, M 1 Response 5 days ago

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    There Is Something Missing

    During my college years, I drank primarily for my enjoyment. Over the past year or so, I have found that I have used alcohol as a means of comforting myself. I know that I have a pretty good life, so I am not entirely sure why I need comforting. I have a feeling that there is...
    EvenFlow85 EvenFlow85 26-30, M 1 Response Mar 10, 2011

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    Yes, I Do...

    The first time I got drunk was when I was 19. I had so much confidence and my shyness was gone. Once I turned 20, I drank because I was irritated. Now, (since 21) I drink because I hate my life and have nothing going for me. I use dark humor and drinking to hide the deep pain...
    LovelessDeluxe LovelessDeluxe 22-25 4 Responses Feb 28, 2011

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    151 Bacardi Street

    im not too pleased with my life so i hit this dive bar frequently. i always shoot 151 straight when i go their. One day a buddy came in and wanted to do a shot of whatever i was having so he did 2 shots of 151 with me. Well i did 6 and played some pool. After the game he was...
    rorer714 rorer714 26-30, M Jan 28, 2013

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    Wish It Lasted Longer

    When I don't want to cut but I need to cut, I drink. It calms things down and the anxiety fades. I just wish it was not a short term solution. If I cant make the anxiety go away, I can numb it at least.
    empleh empleh 26-30 Sep 10, 2010

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    Related Experiences

    I don't even want to stop.
    stillYDGN stillYDGN 13-15, F 1 Response Jun 28

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    I guess,Im just indifferent to lots of things in my life and life in general and I like to numb myself out from all the bs in my mind..sometimes being numb can feel good better...
    seeminglypossible seeminglypossible 22-25, F 1 Response Jun 30

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    It's one o'clock in the morning. And the clocks are ticking their warnings. Drifting in the fog. I haven't got all of the gears and cogs. Screaming your lullaby in mute. Digging...
    Lifesuckssmusichelps Lifesuckssmusichelps 13-15, F 1 Response 6 hrs ago

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    1. I want to join 1000 groups that apply to me. 2. I believe in soul mates 3. I wear fake polo. (SWAG) 4. I've had the same xbox 360 for 7 years with no problems. 5. I break...
    QuiltedBathwater QuiltedBathwater 18-21, M 19 hrs ago

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    Most of my life has been a complete mess. I had a terrible childhood, I was bullied, my dad has drinking problems, my mother has psychiatric problems, etc. And now, that my parents...
    DeniedWings DeniedWings 18-21, M 1 day ago

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    Does anyone else feel just kinda numb? Like I used to have so many emotions and now I don't really feel much... I just kinda sit in my room and draw once and a while, but mostly...
    Ofwgkta13 Ofwgkta13 13-15, F 1 Response 8 hrs ago

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    I've turned numb towards love, affection & feelings. I don't react the way everyone would. There's this guy that i met right after my breakup. Though we've been working in the...
    Xyanii Xyanii 22-25, F 8 Responses Jul 1

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    Wish I could feel that buzz, the numbing of your whole body. Makes you feel good for that little bit. But when you lose it in a few hours and it makes you want more. Makes you...
    DepressingKayla DepressingKayla 16-17, F Jul 14

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    I hate being numb. it's a social barrier. I begin to numb my emotions when I was eleven, after emotional trauma, and at first it was a relief, and I felt strong. only a few months...
    floweing floweing 13-15, F Jul 5

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    It was after school, I was sitting down on a bench, and my friends had all gotten picked up. I was on my phone slouching, when a girl was sitting across from me. She was giggling...
    KaylaSweet101 KaylaSweet101 13-15, F 1 Response Jun 24

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    Numbness Numbness. Contradicting the pain I felt. Flooding through me like a dose of anesthesia. I lay. Paralyzed by the nothingness. Unable to bring myself to move. Conditioned...
    Nataliefosterdoglover Nataliefosterdoglover 26-30, F 1 Response Jul 7

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    I Don't Smoke And I Don't Drink and i have promise myself and God that i will never smoke or drink in my whole life. These are just bad things. They just kill a person inside and...
    mahdiraza mahdiraza 16-17, M 3 Responses 5 days ago

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    I don't think it ever really means anything when people keep seeing the same numbers. But I can't speak for everyone. I know for me the numbers I've seen a lot have all held...
    fairytalesandspiderwebs fairytalesandspiderwebs 18-21, F Jun 26

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    On Thriving and Surviving Surviving is to continue to live or exist, especially in spite of danger or hardship. I have been surviving all of my life. To survive is to tap into a...
    jfrender jfrender 31-35, F 3 Responses Jun 29

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    I quit drinking alcohol several months ago I can not even believe myself how much harm it was doing to my body and my soul... Since I quit I have lost 32 pounds gone from a size 34...
    xsday84 xsday84 26-30, M Jul 1

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    Comfortably Numb (Addiction) I feel so numb Unfeeling even I was feeling in the beginning Of my day today Though I didn't like what I felt So like any addict I turn to my...
    Nataliefosterdoglover Nataliefosterdoglover 26-30, F Jul 7

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    On lonely nights or when my depression gets the better of me, i like taking a shot of vodka. The burn helps numb my pain and i feel i can go on with being dull. This is the only...
    DarkMage594 DarkMage594 22-25, M Jul 9

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    I used to love to go drinking with friends, now i only drink at home alcohol is so expensive in pubs now and full of idiots who cant handle there alcohol, not to mention violence...
    ExtremeNext ExtremeNext 26-30, F 7 Responses a week ago

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    Lately my husband meet new friends and spending time with them more often. He doesn't use to drink and if he has morning work he don't want to stay late, but then now he would...
    qtalice qtalice 31-35, F 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    Numb I lie here, Intoxicated by numbness, It surrounds me like a cloud of thick smoke, Choking me, Seeping into my veins, my brain, I desperately search for some feeling, But my...
    Nataliefosterdoglover Nataliefosterdoglover 26-30, F Jul 7

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    Lost In Numbness Lost in numbness for years Running from pain Trapped in the freezing rain Constantly numb Pain is better than nothing at all Pain without reason, a cause, or...
    Nataliefosterdoglover Nataliefosterdoglover 26-30, F Jul 7

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    I know I can be crazy and weird and say blunt things. But it's not out of hate. I love the way I am and wouldn't have myself any other way. I hope someone someday loves me as much...
    mindpalace mindpalace 22-25, F 8 hrs ago

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    once again...as always....I always set goals for myself that I want to achieve but I always seem to fail and it makes me so disappointed in myself and makes me feel like a loser...
    SomeGirlS SomeGirlS 16-17, F 4 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    **Pitiful Numb** Dear diary, Can anyone see this pitiful, being inside of me? Broken hearted, yet always singing? Nothing to smile for, yet always smiling. Torn apart, and never...
    Nataliefosterdoglover Nataliefosterdoglover 26-30, F Jul 7

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    Numb I feel nothing at all. Inside I am dead. I hit the ground, but do not fall. I'm lost within my head. I swallow the pill that makes it go away. I become numb. I feel no...
    Nataliefosterdoglover Nataliefosterdoglover 26-30, F 1 Response Jul 7

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    I love tea! I am a tea addict... I started drinking tea since I was 9 years old! I can drink up to 8 cups of tea a day... bad I know! The least I drink is 3 a day... and if I...
    MilweePetite MilweePetite 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 27

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    I don't drink even though I go to a college with a lot of drinking. Most if my friends also don't drink, or don't drink constantly. I think maybe when I turn 21 I'll try a drink...
    MismatchedIdeas MismatchedIdeas 18-21, F 3 Responses Jun 30

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    It's the only thing I can drink with out making a mess now by myself.
    Quadamputee Quadamputee 18-21, M 5 days ago

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    I really try but I can't text I got frustrated I'm really passionate and I love the love that I just you know I'm weird number Hermaill it be by myself that you were things about...
    Plutonianbabe Plutonianbabe 16-17, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    747. I hate that number. I see it all the time and it's haunting me. People say that numbers, notably 11:11 and 666 are easy to find because they stand out, but for me it's...
    Anticloud Anticloud 18-21, M Jun 26

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    My Savior, Pain Too numb to care, far too broken inside, bring on the pain. Just let me know I'm alive. The pain made me numb, now let it bring me back. Let it undo this torture...
    Nataliefosterdoglover Nataliefosterdoglover 26-30, F Jul 7

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    I hope It becomes permanent. I want numbness to take over me and take away this inner trauma that just refuses to leave me. I want to stop being tormented by these things called...
    Susana1985 Susana1985 26-30, F 5 Responses 5 days ago

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    The thing about social drinking is that you have people to chat with etc but you still need to keep track of your behaviour and how much is acceptable to drink for the govern...
    pmax2000 pmax2000 31-35, M Jun 25

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    This has been going on since I met him. He got me turned on the alcohol. I had stopped drinking for a long time. When we met we would go over to my house for drinks. That became a...