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I Drink to Numb Myself

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 83 People

    I drink to numb myself.

    Because I feel pain. Drinking just numbs the pain a little. It still hurts, but it hurts a little less. I am alone, but when I drink, it matters less. I want to flee. I want to escape. I don't want to see or feel what I see or feel. I want to disconnect from my feelings. When I...
    RichardAndon RichardAndon 22-25, M 1 Response Jul 18, 2014

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    Comfortably Numb

    When I drink… If I’m careful, I can lose myself in the spinning. In the weightlessness of unconscious. I can float, away from everything. Forget for a while. It’s a fine line. To not let the disconnect allow me to think about the things that I don’t...
    onceandfutureglow onceandfutureglow 31-35, F 8 Responses Jul 27, 2010

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    I hate the feeling of being drunk,

    it's absolutely terrible. However, periodically... such as today; a flood of emotions gnawed away at my heart causing such pain and loneliness, this was a time for me to have a glass of wine and be done with the hurt. Perhaps, if I were in happier circumstances this "self...
    PlasticRobot PlasticRobot 36-40, F Dec 12, 2014

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    Wish It Lasted Longer

    When I don't want to cut but I need to cut, I drink. It calms things down and the anxiety fades. I just wish it was not a short term solution. If I cant make the anxiety go away, I can numb it at least.
    empleh empleh 26-30 Sep 10, 2010

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    151 Bacardi Street

    im not too pleased with my life so i hit this dive bar frequently. i always shoot 151 straight when i go their. One day a buddy came in and wanted to do a shot of whatever i was having so he did 2 shots of 151 with me. Well i did 6 and played some pool. After the game he was...
    rorer714 rorer714 26-30, M Jan 28, 2013

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    There Is Something Missing

    During my college years, I drank primarily for my enjoyment. Over the past year or so, I have found that I have used alcohol as a means of comforting myself. I know that I have a pretty good life, so I am not entirely sure why I need comforting. I have a feeling that there is...
    EvenFlow85 EvenFlow85 26-30, M 1 Response Mar 10, 2011

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    It's Part Of My Life But Doesn't Rule My Life

    I have been drinking alcohol almost everyday since i was 14 yrs old, i am now 34.I am not a true alcoholic in the sense that yes i do go to work all day ,and can actually go days, weeks or months without alcohol. i just choose NOT to go without. :)
    daro76 daro76 31-35, F 2 Responses Jun 16, 2011

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    Tears of a Punk...

    When I drink, it's usually alone and usually because I can't handle how badly my life feels all the time. If I go out and drink with friends I usually end up crying, which is probably why nobody will drink with me anymore. That of course only makes me feel worse about my life. It...
    SadLittlePunk SadLittlePunk 31-35 2 Responses Dec 6, 2008

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    Yes, I Do...

    The first time I got drunk was when I was 19. I had so much confidence and my shyness was gone. Once I turned 20, I drank because I was irritated. Now, (since 21) I drink because I hate my life and have nothing going for me. I use dark humor and drinking to hide the deep pain...
    LovelessDeluxe LovelessDeluxe 22-25 4 Responses Feb 28, 2011

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    Good Or Bad Feelings, I Just Want To Be Numb

    I drink regardless if my life is going incredibly well or if it's just horrible. I'm so used to being numb that any bit of extreme emotion is just too much for me. I will admit that I do like to drink, period and it's not just solely to be numb, but it's a huge part of it. I don...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Apr 1, 2013

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    It helps dull the pain

    and numbs the feeling of lose
    Sufferedloss Sufferedloss 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 23, 2014

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    But That Takes A Lot

    I added this experience a while ago and never added the story until now. Since then I've changed my drinking habits a bit. I used to drink to numb myself. I found the pain was so strong, though, that it took an unbelieveably large amount of alcohol to get sufficiently numb. I...
    accomplice accomplice 46-50, M 4 Responses Jan 11, 2011

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    Use to

    That had to be the hardest thing in the world to do! I had to learn how to love me for me again!
    Mammy Mammy 36-40, F Mar 26, 2008

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    I Have Recently

    been told that i was an alcoholic a few months back. i never thought my drinkin was serious. But turns out i was wrong. I still feel the need for drink but the lack of money stops me although every penny i get i usually save up for alcohol. It doesn't scare me...i just don't want...
    xXmissyXx xXmissyXx 16-17, F 2 Responses Aug 12, 2007

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    I'd Like To

    I don't drink a lot but I wish I could drink to numb myself from the pain of being lonely. If I had the chance I would drink 24/7. It seems like things that happen good in my life always come to an end eventually. I'm just exausted with it happening. I just want to be able...
    tngurl25 tngurl25 26-30, F 3 Responses Dec 11, 2011

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    Oh No!

    i'm afraid this may become extreme alcoholism. and i don't think i can stop it.
    gypsysoul gypsysoul 22-25, F 1 Response Jun 29, 2007

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    Related Experiences

    I know I need to stop drinking as much as I do and I'm trying. But I am honestly feeling so bad right now that I don't even see the point anymore. I know I'll feel guilty... I am...
    sagefish sagefish 22-25, M 1 hr ago

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    I have tried fingering myself and it feels nice but i can never get it right, any tips?
    hollymae2001 hollymae2001 13-15, F 1 Response 6 hrs ago

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    I realized that my problem is that i beat myself up too much. but how do i stop something like that?
    hellokitty206 hellokitty206 18-21 7 hrs ago

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    I always wonder if I killed myself will people care about me cuz right now it seem like no one cares about me only my best friend that care and I tried to kill myself so many time...
    lookket lookket 18-21, F 3 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    so, today I heard some pretty bad things about myself. I'm trying not to let it phase me, but it still upsets me. I had to let go of a friend this year, and if I'm being honest...
    Azureeblue Azureeblue 31-35, F 7 Responses 12 hrs ago

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    ugh. I finally met someone on here I like but in a fit of being pissed at my friend. I thought I deactivated the acct but I deleted and there I can't find him. I am so upset...
    vange12 vange12 36-40, F 18 hrs ago

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    hahha I am! this may sound crazy, but I'm so obsessed with the combination of numbers, I can't my phone number often. kmsl
    morganza504 morganza504 36-40 21 hrs ago

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    Ive been doing good for almost 2 years. About a week ago i started smoking again. But not only that its smoking weed cigarets drinking and taking pain pills just to get through...
    holehearted79 holehearted79 36-40, F 7 Responses 1 day ago

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    Pretty decent test tonight. Some friends wanted me to meet them at the bar to hang out. I went and stayed for about an hour. The only thing I ordered was a burger and a bottle of...
    Smittysmit123 Smittysmit123 36-40, M 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    While walking my Spiritual path I'm always seeing certain numbers everywhere all the time. Sometimes a certain number would start to appear during a energy shift, during a time of...
    ShesSpiritual35 ShesSpiritual35 31-35, F 4 days ago

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    1 - I was commended in a short story competition. 2 - Everyone always thinks that I'm a few years older than I actually am. 3 - I'm a Mensan, which doesn't really count for much...
    sfairy27 sfairy27 13-15, F 3 Responses 5 days ago

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    I cannot even begin to explain how beautiful it is to finally love myself. To know that i am of worth, despite my downfalls. To understand that i should be happy. To believe that i...
    DropsofJupiter1 DropsofJupiter1 18-21, F 4 Responses 5 days ago

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    I fell back on my old habit of cutting so I could feel numb mentally . When my dad found out he looked so sad and it makes me so mad at myself. I wish I hadn't done it. I only did...
    rosedimond99 rosedimond99 16-17, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    At times, I just drink myself to sleep. Tonight feels like one of those nights.
    stellar3658 stellar3658 16-17, F 4 Responses 5 days ago

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    I'm trying to, anyway. I'm currently in my last week of an intensive outpatient program for drug addiction and mental health issues. A lot of the things I've learned from this...
    TheCallipygist TheCallipygist 22-25, M 5 Responses 6 days ago

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    Some time ago I promised myself I wouldn't cut myself with a knife anymore. Last night I broke that promise. According to my promise this means I have a problem with cutting. I...
    jsualmtha jsualmtha 18-21, F a week ago

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    do you feel lost don't know what to say how to behave is this recreating or is this how we break maybe this turn of fate will take away the storm of emotions wandering and...
    anotherclone anotherclone 26-30, M Aug 22

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    I drank again last night. I was very depressed. I just wanna end this. I don't want my gf to leave me. I don't want my family to hate me. I don't wanna be in hangover. I wanna take...
    naz69 naz69 26-30, M 3 Responses Aug 22

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    I drink more than I should.. .now. I am drunk. But seems girls like it. How else is it possible that they talk to me mostly when I am drunk... or high. I went to Croatia for...
    Thirsty1975 Thirsty1975 36-40, M Aug 21

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    Please tell me if you are a boy who is anywhere between the ages of 5 years old, and 26 years old right now, and please tell me if both you, and your younger brother had to go to...
    kidgoku kidgoku 26-30, M Aug 20

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    I barely even drink. My limit is drinking less than 3 times a month. And sometimes I drink even less. I drink every other month, only on special occasions or with some friends. I...
    AnonymousJSS AnonymousJSS 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 19

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    The plane experience. I went to America last year and on the plane I really felt horn* so when everyone was asleep I went to the toilet and pleasured myself for a good 15minutes...
    deleted deleted 26-30 9 Responses Aug 19

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    reflecting a color only i can see greeted by monsters of my insecurities sleep..escape to another galaxy dream are monsters snatching away my sanity light some candles in...
    anotherclone anotherclone 26-30, M Aug 19

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    My Fake Mother's boyfriend's family drugged me, yet again. I think I'm Going to go crazy! I was eating some pasta that I made, and I noticed that the pasta had traces of paper in...
    ONESTARRYSTARRYNIGHT ONESTARRYSTARRYNIGHT 26-30, F 3 Responses Aug 18

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    I really am not a drinker, but I drink on rare occasions. I don't like alcohol, but I drink it anyways, sometimes!!!
    morganza504 morganza504 36-40 Aug 17

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    A very important number. When I talk with someone quite a bit younger than I am, I hear, sometimes, almost a different language. I am sure it can be the same for them. When they...
    comeonletsgo comeonletsgo 61-65, M Aug 17

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