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I Ended My Affair

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 342 People

    I Know Exactly How It Feels

    Trust me. I know how it feels. I know exactly how it feels to cry in the shower so no one can hear you. I know what it's like to wait for everyone to be asleep so you can fall apart. For everything to hurt so bad you just want it all to end I know exactly how it feels..
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 11 Responses Apr 6, 2013

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    Writing within the realm of salvageable

    marriages, I'm thinking, maybe one of the reasons why we have NC relapses is because we haven't really committed ourselves in repairing our marriages. Maybe ... we've gotten so used to enjoying the connections with our APs that we've forgotten how to connect back to our spouses...
    SundayGlory33 SundayGlory33 31-35, F 1 Response Feb 3

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    I know from my own experience

    that married men don't always leave the wife. I am the wife. I found out two years ago my husband had an affair with some married woman that he met at our kids school. When I found out I gave my husband the option to leave. 50/50 with the kids and assets. I told him I didn't...
    Truthbetold81 Truthbetold81 31-35, F 3 Responses Apr 26, 2015

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    OK so no contact rule back in effect.

    I think I can do this now. I needed him so badly, and he never called me back or contacted me at all. who does that to someone you are suppose to care about? either call and tell me to f..k off or something. this happens too often. I told him I am getting divorced and now he...
    Newgonegirl Newgonegirl 46-50, F 4 Responses Aug 5, 2015

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    I told him I felt about the lack of sex

    and how I want it and need it.. After living in a sexless marriage for over 12 years, the amazing sex is overwhelming to me. He says there isn't a good time, or whatever his excuse is. I don't understand that? I feel pushed aside, neglected, unwanted, and left on the road...
    Newgonegirl Newgonegirl 46-50, F 18 Responses Sep 19, 2015

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    Walking Away From Love

    I love to laugh. Humor and laughter are the spice of life for me. Part of why I love being a father so much is the laughter and silliness they create in my life everyday. It is also what first attracted me to my OW. She is beautiful and brilliant but she also makes me laugh and...
    Sweetman17 Sweetman17 46-50, M 8 Responses Aug 19, 2013

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    I used to post here under TheKatsmeow

    as the other woman trying to end it. I am now posting under strongerthanhethinks because I proved that point. I think he thought he could always have me as his lover while maintaining a home with a wife and kids. I think he thought I wasn't strong enough to end it for good. I...
    strongerthanhethinks strongerthanhethinks 36-40, F 3 Responses Nov 4, 2014

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    I've had my moments of weakness

    and relapses but finally fully ended my relationship . I knew I deserved more then what that married man could offer . I deserve to be happy full time not part time . Although this is a difficult time for me and I have cried myself to sleep every night I know that deep down...
    latinafairy latinafairy 26-30, F 2 Responses Sep 18, 2015

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    Day 4 NC. Everything Is Grey.

    Day 4 of no contact. I’ve read all the books. I’ve watched all the shows. I should have known better, but I was a victim of hope. Until I got far enough into my affair I had no idea that being a “victim of hope” was even a thing.. But it is. We had worked together...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Aug 12, 2013

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    It hurts so bad. Especially at night

    when I lay down and have time to think about him. Hoping it gets easier . I feel like I lost so much and he lost nothing. He got to walk away without his wife knowing or situation being ruined .
    latinafairy latinafairy 26-30, F 1 Response Feb 17, 2015

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    What do you do when you've done everything to

    forget the other person but your heart still can't let go, and you still can't move on? When every day feels more torturous than the last? When you know they don't care about you anymore, you're not in their hearts, they're living their happily ever after? What do you do? Do you...
    Missybad Missybad 26-30, F 4 Responses Nov 30, 2013

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    Well it's officially been a month

    since I made the hard decision of starting fresh and ending my affair once and for all. It's actually been over a month since our last conversation but I blocked his # and deleted all his contact info on my 8 year anniversary,1 month ago today. And boy does it feel sooo great...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Aug 22, 2014

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    My ex-AP called me yesterday & I picked up the

    f****** phone. I hated that ! I know I shouldn't have picked it up, but I did. Ok, another setback. Ok... back to sq 1, breathe... Instead of beginning my day with the usual endless self-loathings, I need to give myself some hopes, some positive prep talks. I...
    SundayGlory33 SundayGlory33 31-35, F 5 Responses Jul 29, 2015

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    After two and a half years I've ended this

    toxic relationship. He and I both have tried several times to go NC or "be friends". Everytime we end up back together after hurting while apart. This wasn't a secret affair. The moment something was there I told my H and moved to separate but having 3 small children complicated...
    holdingstrong holdingstrong 36-40, F 1 Response Apr 30, 2015

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    There are numerous older men in the world

    who are single and seeking someone special in their life. For all such men, AgeMeet.com has been created as a reliable online platform to find women for dating and companionship. The spokesperson reports that many older men have started finding perfect companions through their...
    annacc11 annacc11 26-30, F Sep 18, 2015

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    So a couple months ago I made a post about my

    ex AP contacting me. I was in full control of the situation and made sure I kept the conversation "friendly", making no mention of my feelings or our prior relations. Our communication only lasted 2 days, because he told me he was meeting up with his vacationing wife, down south...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Jan 5, 2015

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    Sent him a text saying we are done.

    Doubt he will respond. I'm not liking who I am with him anymore. I get angry with him because he doesn't want me. Or acts indifferent to me. Saw him last night and we barely spoke. I can't make him happy I realize that now. Nor can he me I guess
    Newgonegirl Newgonegirl 46-50, F 2 Responses Sep 14, 2015

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    There are numerous older men in the world

    who are single and seeking someone special in their life. For all such men, AgeMeet.com has been created as a reliable online platform to find women for dating and companionship. The spokesperson reports that many older men have started finding perfect companions through their...
    kimcc11aa kimcc11aa 26-30, F Jan 20

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    It's been over and done

    yet the pain doesn't seem to subside. I've tried relentless to forget about him or just not To feel sad, but always fail miserably. I thought by ending it, I'd begin to walk but mostly t feels like it's had the opposite effect. I keep telling myself I did the right thing, and...
    Missybad Missybad 26-30, F 5 Responses Oct 17, 2014

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    It has been three months

    now that I ended it. For those that have ready my story, I was in an affair for over 3.5 years. I cried wolf dozens of times. This time I knew it was final. There was no one defining moment that made my heart decide to let go. It was a slow process as little things chipped away...
    pencruz pencruz 51-55, F 4 Responses Sep 19, 2014

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    "Deep grief sometimes is almost like a specific

    location, a coordinate on a map of time. When you are standing in that forest of sorrow, you cannot imagine that you could ever find your way to a better place. But if someone can assure you that they themselves have stood in that same place, and now have moved on, sometimes...
    holdingstrong holdingstrong 36-40, F 5 Responses May 2, 2015

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    Indifference: working on being indifferent

    now (toward my feelings to ex-AP). Focus my energy on something else, like being a good and faithful wife. I had been a faithful wife before I knew him. Ok... I can do this. I can be that good and faithful wife once again. So help me God !
    SundayGlory33 SundayGlory33 31-35, F 13 Responses Dec 23, 2015

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    I feel so sad. It ended

    after a fight about him being selfish and inconsiderate of me when I am the opposite with him. I know I broke it off, but I miss him. I blocked his number off for two days because I didn't trust myself not to call or text him back like the other times. He did try to call twice...
    lolababy71 lolababy71 41-45, F 1 Response Jun 2, 2014

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    I Have Been Having the Most Passionate Affair

    I have been having the most passionate affair for almost 3 yrs and 3 months to the day... I can say it has been one of the most amazing rides of my life.  I have discovered things about myself that i did not know existed, dreams i did not know I had .. But before i start let...
    deleted deleted 26-30 21 Responses Sep 19, 2009

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    It seems like I have been trying to be strong

    for a long time but really it has only been 6 days of NC. We parted over the stupidest thing, I blew up on him because I texted him about something and he told me he was busy but yet he wasn't too busy to respond to his W. On the surface it seems minuet, but at the end of the...
    marissa0504 marissa0504 31-35, F 3 Responses Oct 4, 2015

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    I ended my affair, as it was the right thing to

    do at the time, things got nasty, and I didn't want it to go that way. I have missed AP so much ever since NC back in December, and it's really getting to me now, what do I do? Do I make contact, and commit myself to the situation, or do I leave it without proper closure, just...
    Lonelyman1977 Lonelyman1977 36-40, M 3 Responses Mar 3, 2015

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    So I had started my affair in June 2015.

    .... After finding an old boyfriend on facebook (whom I had once been engaged to) he was living in MI and I am in CA....I went up to MI in August for one week and spent the most amazing time with him reconnecting and loving each other and crying in each others arms about all the...
    mom2dotnjr mom2dotnjr 31-35, F 3 Responses Jan 8

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    2 MONTHS, as of yesterday!

    !!!! I cannot believe how quickly the time has gone by. I still don't have a desire for my husband like I did before my first affair 6 years ago. No matter how committed I am to being a better wife it doesn't magically make me desire him. It's a frustrating experience, because...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Sep 23, 2014

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    Had an affair with a man at work

    that I had been good friends with for years. He told me he was unhappy in his marriage. I feel in love with him quickly I always had feelings for him. He ended it. I knew it was time I wanted more never said it but he knew. He thinks of me as his best friend and I feel same way...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Mar 22, 2015

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    It spiraled out of control

    and became something I did not like. I wish it never started. At least I learned how much I appreciate my family before it was too late.
    RocknRollCowboy71 RocknRollCowboy71 41-45, M 1 Response May 17, 2015

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    Yes we ended it, somewhere in the first 3 days

    of April. There has been no contact until last week, we started emailing. We aren't exchanging #'s, and our emails are few and far between and we have not spoken a word about our relationship or feelings. So I feel I'm in complete control, for now. He is ok with exchanging...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response May 25, 2014

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    Been a almost a week

    since I ended my affair. When does it start getting easier? I don't eat or sleep. Wish I could fast forward this part of time.
    latinafairy latinafairy 26-30, F 2 Responses Jun 26, 2015

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    I Ended My Affair.

    I've been trying to end my affair for the last month.  I also tried to end my affair last week, but he talked me out of it.  I've been doing a lot of thinking and talking to it about friends it and I was killing myself.  We went away together a month ago. ...
    tks tks 36-40, F 26 Responses Oct 26, 2007

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    So after 19 months, I ended my affair this

    evening. I sent him an email telling him that I can no longer sustain the affair. We're both married and neither of our spouses found out and, unlike others who have ended it over guilt, that's not why I ended it. I've just come to this place where I'm tired of feeding his...
    lynn49 lynn49 46-50, F 6 Responses Jul 5, 2014

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    We spoke every day. Every.

    single. day. He was funny. He paid me lots of attention--the naughty kind and the clean kind. I liked talking to him. I liked kissing him. I liked how he kissed me....everywhere. I liked all of him. He started acting different towards me about a month ago. He stopped chatting...
    lily337 lily337 36-40, F 5 Responses Mar 29, 2015

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    I have been in an affair with my neighbor

    for almost four years. I would have never thought I was capable of doing something like this. I would never believe it in a million years until it happened and now it is over. Last night he had me over to his new apartment, he left his wife three months ago....he ended the...
    BellaJuanita13 BellaJuanita13 51-55, F 5 Responses Aug 15, 2015

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    So it's done. I am so lost

    and heart broken. Oct 2015, I wanted to see him and he was already trying to distance himself. I flipped out. He called telling me he wanted to see me. I drove an 1 to his house. We had sexy that night but something felt really off. A few days later I texted him and he told...
    Yalaboo Yalaboo 36-40, F 1 Response Jan 23

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    so I just ended my affair with a married man a

    few days ago. we were together for just under a year. at the time we were both married, but I am now separated. he never once lead me to believe that he would ever leave his wife and family.. he made it clear that he was staying no matter what and I was and still am OK with that...
    chickchoc chickchoc 41-45, F 1 Response Nov 1, 2014

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    Day 6 of no contact today

    and I have hit a wall. Struggling like nothing I have ever experienced before and using every bit of strength I have to not text. I wish this feeling would disappear overnight, hurry up six months and be here already.??
    TASTRS TASTRS 41-45, F 5 Responses Jan 6, 2015

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    Well not yet but I think I should.

    This weekend has been painful. He has no steady job no $$ promises something and get nothing. Yet I allow it. No car. Can't drive. Too many drunk drivings. Ugh sound like a real winner right. I am too desperate to get laid I went for this. Wow. I need out
    Newgonegirl Newgonegirl 46-50, F 3 Responses Jul 5, 2015

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    I ended my affair. I am a MM.

    My marriage was in shambles or at least that is what I told myself. Truth is, my marriage was OK before I started talking to this other woman. She hooked to me and our relationship did not start as a physical one. I would make things up to leave my family every other weekend...
    TwistedJade TwistedJade 36-40, M 2 Responses Aug 10, 2015

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    Ok back to no contact rule!

    ! I think I can now! I'm much stronger than before, and I am not a plan "b". I should his first plan!!
    Newgonegirl Newgonegirl 46-50, F 2 Responses Aug 31, 2015

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    This is very fresh for me

    and I don't know where else to go or what else to do. I cannot talk about this with anyone and the internet seems to harbor communities of acceptance. I am totally looking for someone to tell me that I did the right thing because I sure feel lousy. I don't want this to be my...
    geniebobeanie geniebobeanie 22-25, F 3 Responses Jul 14, 2015

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    My favorite poet is Aeschylus.

    He once wrote: " Even in our sleep, pain which cannot forget, falls drop by drop upon the heart, until in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom through the awful grace of God." I hope all of you who are grieving, as I'm now, will gain strength from these words.
    SundayGlory33 SundayGlory33 31-35, F 8 Responses Jan 18

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    For anyone who wants to end an affair

    but still very indecisive, I attached a good quote below. This is the quote that put nails in my " affair coffin ! " Each time when I want to break the NC, I just look at this quote. Hope it will help you too. Hugs to you all who are struggling. But you are not alone. This...
    SundayGlory33 SundayGlory33 31-35, F 2 Responses Aug 10, 2015

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