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I Ended My Affair

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 237 People

    Of two years. We are

    both married and the lies and secrets just became to much for me to deal with. I miss him terribly. But I know I'm doing the right thing. Even if he would leave his family for me, I wouldn't let him. I'm not a home wrecker. The worst part is we live in the same town and our kids...
    lambxoxo123 lambxoxo123 36-40, F 2 Responses May 19

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    It Was Beautiful While It Lasted

    I ended it before I had to. One Sunday evening at the mall, going to shop for a few things, as we were passing a bar & restaurant, she enthusiastically stopped and asked if I didn't mind if she stayed there to get a few drinks while I shopped. I had some idea that she would be...
    eleanorssong eleanorssong 56-60, F 2 Responses Dec 1, 2011

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    This is so confusing.

    OM says he wants me as a friend. Says that's what he has always wanted. I apologized for thinking something more. He responds by saying "I love you. You know that." I'm a pretty intelligent woman, but what???
    friendofmine friendofmine 41-45, F Jan 9

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    I was in an affair with a much younger woman

    the lasted a little over a year. She was extremely beautiful and I finally ended it because I felt she deserved better than being the other woman. She's married now and is working on her Masters Degree. She begged me to do an internship with me which I finally agreed to. Two...
    lee90815 lee90815 41-45, M 2 Responses Oct 7

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    Lately I've been reading soooo many posts about

    people "trying" to end their affairs. I also get a lot of messages from people who are usually in their first week of no contact and want advice on how to get through it. But do any of you really want to end it and start a new chapter?? You write these posts and others spend...
    platnum2011 platnum2011 26-30, F 2 Responses Oct 4

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    I Ended My Affair.

    I've been trying to end my affair for the last month.  I also tried to end my affair last week, but he talked me out of it.  I've been doing a lot of thinking and talking to it about friends it and I was killing myself.  We went away together a month ago. ...
    tks tks 36-40, F 26 Responses Oct 26, 2007

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    What A Silly Thing To Do

    Things where not great with my hubby and I met this guy who I thought was brilliant and after a few weeks i came out and told my hubby I was having an affair ! 6 weeks past and I was in a bad place missing my hubby who is also the father of my baby the other guy had turned out to...
    hannahbear93 hannahbear93 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 23, 2013

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    I saw him last night

    for a few hours. Just to talk. It was hard for both of us but the hardest part is missing the friendship. Maybe it's too soon but we are trying to be just friends again. While I love spending time with him, saying goodbye at the end hurt a lot.
    friendofmine friendofmine 41-45, F 4 Responses Jan 11

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    Sometimes I Miss My Affair That I Had...

    The affair ended 2 years and I miss him a lot. I still think about him and miss our great connection. He was a single guy and we met at a bar and I lied about being single. We had sex on 2nd night we hung out and it was amazing. He told me he loved me after having the affair for...
    xoxoluvu xoxoluvu 26-30, F 4 Responses Aug 18, 2013

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    Started With A Bang, Ended With A Whimper...

    Today our love has come to it's bitter conclusion... We are both married, and I truely believe that when you have a family, it's not just about the couple anymore, you have to care for the children until the last one is adult. Especially if there is no abuse involved. His wife...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 9 Responses Apr 4, 2013

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    Day One Of No Contact...

    Yesterday he left tired and doesn't want to continue this hassle thing to him. He want me to find single and available man and not him. He mention he still care for me and willing to be friends if I want. I snapped it off cause I can't take it when I still love him and he treat...
    n1BB1t n1BB1t 26-30, F 2 Responses Oct 7, 2013

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    Love That Hurts To Give

    Thought I would share some communication I received from my ow today. It has been nearly two months since the end of the affair. She and I were quite in love. I am married. She single. She shared she has been doing a lot of therapy and trying to work through some issues. Here...
    Sweetman17 Sweetman17 46-50, M 4 Responses Sep 20, 2013

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    I Ended My Affair

    even though im in love with the man i broke it off with, bec i know its the right thing to do and my husband is really truly a great man who i love very much...any advice on how to move on, figure out how i feel about my marriage, etc?
    IJustWantYouToKnowWhoIAm IJustWantYouToKnowWhoIAm 31-35, F 18 Responses Apr 26, 2011

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    Well I think it has officially happened.

    I thought it had a couple months ago, but he contacted me and we picked right back up where we left off. But things just sort of ended on monday. He was starting to neglect me and ignore me for hours at a time, then a day would go by before he would contact me, and now we are...
    platnum2011 platnum2011 26-30, F 1 Response Jan 29

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    It's only been two days.

    How do you grieve the loss of a love and still keep it a secret?
    friendofmine friendofmine 41-45, F 5 Responses Jan 8

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    I used to post here under TheKatsmeow

    as the other woman trying to end it. I am now posting under strongerthanhethinks because I proved that point. I think he thought he could always have me as his lover while maintaining a home with a wife and kids. I think he thought I wasn't strong enough to end it for good. I...
    strongerthanhethinks strongerthanhethinks 36-40, F 3 Responses Nov 4

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    I ended my affair in Oct 2013,

    I then cleared my head and filed for divorce! My divorce was finalized December 2013. I am happy my affair is over and marriage they were both a lie and I was living it, but not anymore!!!!
    Beautifulnbroken Beautifulnbroken 26-30, F 1 Response Mar 18

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    It's been over and done

    yet the pain doesn't seem to subside. I've tried relentless to forget about him or just not To feel sad, but always fail miserably. I thought by ending it, I'd begin to walk but mostly t feels like it's had the opposite effect. I keep telling myself I did the right thing, and...
    Missybad Missybad 26-30, F 5 Responses Oct 17

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    I Have Been Having the Most Passionate Affair

    I have been having the most passionate affair for almost 3 yrs and 3 months to the day... I can say it has been one of the most amazing rides of my life.  I have discovered things about myself that i did not know existed, dreams i did not know I had .. But before i start let...
    deleted deleted 26-30 21 Responses Sep 19, 2009

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    Hopefully This Time Is For Good

    I've been unfaithful to my partner of almost six years. I fell in love with someone else last summer. I still love him but what I did was wrong and I'm tired of being a coward who wants to have the best of both worlds. About five or six weeks ago I ended things with the OM and...
    LoveBeth13 LoveBeth13 26-30, F 6 Responses Mar 24, 2013

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    I Know Exactly How It Feels

    Trust me. I know how it feels. I know exactly how it feels to cry in the shower so no one can hear you. I know what it's like to wait for everyone to be asleep so you can fall apart. For everything to hurt so bad you just want it all to end I know exactly how it feels..
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 11 Responses Apr 6, 2013

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    so I just ended my affair with a married man a

    few days ago. we were together for just under a year. at the time we were both married, but I am now separated. he never once lead me to believe that he would ever leave his wife and family.. he made it clear that he was staying no matter what and I was and still am OK with that...
    chickchoc chickchoc 36-40, F 2 Responses Nov 1

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    What do you do when you've done everything to

    forget the other person but your heart still can't let go, and you still can't move on? When every day feels more torturous than the last? When you know they don't care about you anymore, you're not in their hearts, they're living their happily ever after? What do you do? Do you...
    Missybad Missybad 26-30, F 5 Responses Nov 30, 2013

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    Almost Unbearable

    Even though it's over, I find myself missing him immensely, wanting him to hold me close one last time just to whisper some soothing words saying everything will be alright. I know he'll never be a part of my life, yet I can't seem to let go of him. He consumes my thought daily...
    Missybad Missybad 26-30, F 1 Response Nov 24, 2013

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    3 days ago I hit the 3 month mark.

    ....YAY!!! And today, guess who I get a text message from...... About a month ago I decided I was strong enough to unblock him, so I did. And this morning I wake up to a message and it's a picture and the only thing he says is, "did you post your picture on chive...
    platnum2011 platnum2011 26-30, F 2 Responses Oct 25

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    Today is day 6. I think I did better today

    as far as not being upset or thinking about him than I have all week. But now I am thinking of him. And it hurts. I miss him. I love him. He hasn't been at work for two days. The next two days will be difficult because they are the evenings we spend together. I don't know what I...
    lolababy71 lolababy71 41-45, F 1 Response Jun 4

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    I think it's for real this time.

    ... I've deleted him as a contact from my phone and I don't know his # by heart, so the chances of me communicating with him are slim.......it will only happen if he sends me a message. I've also deleted all of his photos, which is probably going to help but right now ALL of this...
    platnum2011 platnum2011 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 2

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    It has been three months

    now that I ended it. For those that have ready my story, I was in an affair for over 3.5 years. I cried wolf dozens of times. This time I knew it was final. There was no one defining moment that made my heart decide to let go. It was a slow process as little things chipped away...
    pencruz pencruz 46-50, F 4 Responses Sep 19

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    Day Three Of No Contact

    Saw him the first time in office since d day. He is still sitting behind me even though he promised to do me a favor to change seat for me not to see him. When I reached office, I heard him discussing with another colleague saying he played a new game yesterday. He is happy...
    n1BB1t n1BB1t 26-30, F 3 Responses Oct 10, 2013

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    But I Still Can't Make Up My Mind

    It was a short affair, the feelings about lying to my husband were eating me up inside, so one day when he asked me what was wrong, I told him. He took it far harder than I could have imagined. After what was supposed to be a goodbye from my husband, as I was recklessly...
    Cavernio Cavernio 31-35 Oct 18, 2013

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    Walking Away From Love

    I love to laugh. Humor and laughter are the spice of life for me. Part of why I love being a father so much is the laughter and silliness they create in my life everyday. It is also what first attracted me to my OW. She is beautiful and brilliant but she also makes me laugh and...
    Sweetman17 Sweetman17 46-50, M 8 Responses Aug 19, 2013

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    Today, probably the hardest thing I had to do

    was end the affair with a married man, that recently I realised that I was in love with him.... It's so hard and I'm just thinking about everything now... It wasn't easy but as soon as I got home and cried my eyes out I felt such a relief!!! Such a relief! But sadly I'm sitting...
    blondebeauxo blondebeauxo 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 4

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    Yes we ended it, somewhere in the first 3 days

    of April. There has been no contact until last week, we started emailing. We aren't exchanging #'s, and our emails are few and far between and we have not spoken a word about our relationship or feelings. So I feel I'm in complete control, for now. He is ok with exchanging...
    platnum2011 platnum2011 26-30, F 1 Response May 25

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    I feel so sad. It ended

    after a fight about him being selfish and inconsiderate of me when I am the opposite with him. I know I broke it off, but I miss him. I blocked his number off for two days because I didn't trust myself not to call or text him back like the other times. He did try to call twice...
    lolababy71 lolababy71 41-45, F 1 Response Jun 2

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    Day 4 NC. Everything Is Grey.

    Day 4 of no contact. I’ve read all the books. I’ve watched all the shows. I should have known better, but I was a victim of hope. Until I got far enough into my affair I had no idea that being a “victim of hope” was even a thing.. But it is. We had worked together...
    lyrics101 lyrics101 41-45, F 6 Responses Aug 12, 2013

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    No Longer Avoiding the Pain of Saying Goodbye.

    I ended a 5 month affair.  Nope it's not the first but I hope it is the last.  This was my "so called" first love from 22 years ago...always said if I ran into him again I would not be able to contain/ control myself.  Well, I had always looked him...
    road2redemption road2redemption 36-40, F 3 Responses Sep 1, 2009

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    Party Over Here!!! -- Oh Yeah...??

    So I did it. I really did this time.  Three weeks and counting.  3.5yrs of my life now punctuated and relegated to secret stashes of forbidden electronic images.  For the first time in just about as long as I can remember, I am a "virtuous" woman.  I can drag my a$$ to...
    Colormevibrant Colormevibrant 46-50, F 7 Responses Mar 20, 2013

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    Well it's officially been a month

    since I made the hard decision of starting fresh and ending my affair once and for all. It's actually been over a month since our last conversation but I blocked his # and deleted all his contact info on my 8 year anniversary,1 month ago today. And boy does it feel sooo great...
    platnum2011 platnum2011 26-30, F 4 Responses Aug 22

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    Why an affair can be a necessary evil - from

    the point of view of a man. (see story below in comment area due to content restriction)...
    FiremanforYou FiremanforYou 31-35, M 1 Response Mar 24

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    2 MONTHS, as of yesterday!

    !!!! I cannot believe how quickly the time has gone by. I still don't have a desire for my husband like I did before my first affair 6 years ago. No matter how committed I am to being a better wife it doesn't magically make me desire him. It's a frustrating experience, because...
    platnum2011 platnum2011 26-30, F 3 Responses Sep 23

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    So after 19 months, I ended my affair this

    evening. I sent him an email telling him that I can no longer sustain the affair. We're both married and neither of our spouses found out and, unlike others who have ended it over guilt, that's not why I ended it. I've just come to this place where I'm tired of feeding his...
    lynn49 lynn49 46-50, F 6 Responses Jul 5

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    It's been 9 days since it ended.

    I miss him so badly. I want to text him but would feel destroyed if he didn't return it or if it turned out badly. I'm having a very hard time with our breakup
    lolababy71 lolababy71 41-45, F 4 Responses Jun 7

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    The Aftermath

    Day before yesterday I ended my affair. He was amazing, but also married with 2 kids. I can't even explain the hurt I am feeling right now. Never did I ever think it would feel like this. The night I ended it, I cried a little and finally fell asleep. The conversation we had...
    lovetohatelove lovetohatelove 22-25, F 6 Responses Oct 3, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    So I'm having or had or having I don't even no anymore, an affair with who I assume is a serial cheater A serial cheater that supposedly loves and and wants to be with me (with an...
    zoey3000 zoey3000 31-35, F 8 Responses 6 hrs ago

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    Many people who have been in an affair say that the AP always comes back... He ended the physical affair in early September out of depression and extreme guilt. For about 5 weeks...
    Koalaclover Koalaclover 36-40, F 5 Responses a week ago

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    I'm on the path to healing after breakup from AP. I still miss him and want to be with him sometimes, but most of the time now, I'm glad that he's no longer a part of my life. We...
    Koalaclover Koalaclover 36-40, F 7 Responses Dec 9

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    I have been married for almost 17 years with 2 children and love my wife and family dearly. 4 years ago I got involved with another woman and the affair carried on until the end of...
    SBMSydney SBMSydney 46-50, M 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    I'm an affair success story. In a short period of time, my life took a direction that I never thought possible. I never saw it coming, did things I never thought I was ever capable...
    happyasever happyasever 31-35, F 8 Responses Nov 23

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    Finally, a place to find some comfort. Thank you so much for your story... of course, I draw such similarity to my experience. I have had an affair for almost 4 years and she...
    hearbrokenandlonely hearbrokenandlonely 46-50 2 days ago

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    I know, that's not supposed to be possible. People say it's not possible, that I'm deluding myself. I'm looking for a way out, I secretly hate her, we must have a sexless...
    roykirk roykirk 41-45, M 2 Responses Nov 23

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