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I Ended My Affair

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 255 People

    so I just ended my affair with a married man a

    few days ago. we were together for just under a year. at the time we were both married, but I am now separated. he never once lead me to believe that he would ever leave his wife and family.. he made it clear that he was staying no matter what and I was and still am OK with that...
    chickchoc chickchoc 36-40, F 2 Responses Nov 1, 2014

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    No Longer Avoiding the Pain of Saying Goodbye.

    I ended a 5 month affair.  Nope it's not the first but I hope it is the last.  This was my "so called" first love from 22 years ago...always said if I ran into him again I would not be able to contain/ control myself.  Well, I had always looked him...
    road2redemption road2redemption 36-40, F 3 Responses Sep 1, 2009

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    I met him while engaged to my husband.

    .. He became a friend of ours. He'd wink - I'd blush. We'd flirt - All that. Life moved on. So I thought. We met up again 1.5 years later by coincidence. Didn't see each other much but kept in contact. Our affair wasn't physical but I needed him. We sexted & chatted sensually...
    LoveOverHatred LoveOverHatred 18-21, F 4 days ago

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    It Was Beautiful While It Lasted

    I ended it before I had to. One Sunday evening at the mall, going to shop for a few things, as we were passing a bar & restaurant, she enthusiastically stopped and asked if I didn't mind if she stayed there to get a few drinks while I shopped. I had some idea that she would be...
    eleanorssong eleanorssong 56-60, F 2 Responses Dec 1, 2011

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    Walking Away From Love

    I love to laugh. Humor and laughter are the spice of life for me. Part of why I love being a father so much is the laughter and silliness they create in my life everyday. It is also what first attracted me to my OW. She is beautiful and brilliant but she also makes me laugh and...
    Sweetman17 Sweetman17 46-50, M 8 Responses Aug 19, 2013

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    I feel so sad. It ended

    after a fight about him being selfish and inconsiderate of me when I am the opposite with him. I know I broke it off, but I miss him. I blocked his number off for two days because I didn't trust myself not to call or text him back like the other times. He did try to call twice...
    lolababy71 lolababy71 41-45, F 1 Response Jun 2, 2014

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    Party Over Here!!! -- Oh Yeah...??

    So I did it. I really did this time.  Three weeks and counting.  3.5yrs of my life now punctuated and relegated to secret stashes of forbidden electronic images.  For the first time in just about as long as I can remember, I am a "virtuous" woman.  I can drag my a$$ to...
    Colormevibrant Colormevibrant 46-50, F 7 Responses Mar 20, 2013

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    I saw him last night

    for a few hours. Just to talk. It was hard for both of us but the hardest part is missing the friendship. Maybe it's too soon but we are trying to be just friends again. While I love spending time with him, saying goodbye at the end hurt a lot.
    friendofmine friendofmine 41-45, F 4 Responses Jan 11, 2014

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    I Ended My Affair

    even though im in love with the man i broke it off with, bec i know its the right thing to do and my husband is really truly a great man who i love very much...any advice on how to move on, figure out how i feel about my marriage, etc?
    IJustWantYouToKnowWhoIAm IJustWantYouToKnowWhoIAm 31-35, F 18 Responses Apr 26, 2011

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    Of two years. We are

    both married and the lies and secrets just became to much for me to deal with. I miss him terribly. But I know I'm doing the right thing. Even if he would leave his family for me, I wouldn't let him. I'm not a home wrecker. The worst part is we live in the same town and our kids...
    lambxoxo123 lambxoxo123 36-40, F 2 Responses May 19, 2014

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    Society has long become more open to the idea

    of older man - younger woman relationship and older woman - younger man relationship as well. Hollywood has brought in the practice of successful older men looking for younger women. With actresses such as Catherine Zeta Jones marrying Michael Douglas with an age gap of 25 years...
    sarahcc11 sarahcc11 26-30, F 4 days ago

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    It's only been two days.

    How do you grieve the loss of a love and still keep it a secret?
    friendofmine friendofmine 41-45, F 5 Responses Jan 8, 2014

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    What do you do when you've done everything to

    forget the other person but your heart still can't let go, and you still can't move on? When every day feels more torturous than the last? When you know they don't care about you anymore, you're not in their hearts, they're living their happily ever after? What do you do? Do you...
    Missybad Missybad 26-30, F 4 Responses Nov 30, 2013

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    It has been three months

    now that I ended it. For those that have ready my story, I was in an affair for over 3.5 years. I cried wolf dozens of times. This time I knew it was final. There was no one defining moment that made my heart decide to let go. It was a slow process as little things chipped away...
    pencruz pencruz 51-55, F 3 Responses Sep 19, 2014

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    Well I think it has officially happened.

    I thought it had a couple months ago, but he contacted me and we picked right back up where we left off. But things just sort of ended on monday. He was starting to neglect me and ignore me for hours at a time, then a day would go by before he would contact me, and now we are...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jan 29, 2014

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    Today, probably the hardest thing I had to do

    was end the affair with a married man, that recently I realised that I was in love with him.... It's so hard and I'm just thinking about everything now... It wasn't easy but as soon as I got home and cried my eyes out I felt such a relief!!! Such a relief! But sadly I'm sitting...
    blondebeauxo blondebeauxo 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 4, 2014

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    Today is day 6. I think I did better today

    as far as not being upset or thinking about him than I have all week. But now I am thinking of him. And it hurts. I miss him. I love him. He hasn't been at work for two days. The next two days will be difficult because they are the evenings we spend together. I don't know what I...
    lolababy71 lolababy71 41-45, F 1 Response Jun 4, 2014

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    So after 19 months, I ended my affair this

    evening. I sent him an email telling him that I can no longer sustain the affair. We're both married and neither of our spouses found out and, unlike others who have ended it over guilt, that's not why I ended it. I've just come to this place where I'm tired of feeding his...
    lynn49 lynn49 46-50, F 6 Responses Jul 5, 2014

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    So a couple months ago I made a post about my

    ex AP contacting me. I was in full control of the situation and made sure I kept the conversation "friendly", making no mention of my feelings or our prior relations. Our communication only lasted 2 days, because he told me he was meeting up with his vacationing wife, down south...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Jan 5

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    It's been over and done

    yet the pain doesn't seem to subside. I've tried relentless to forget about him or just not To feel sad, but always fail miserably. I thought by ending it, I'd begin to walk but mostly t feels like it's had the opposite effect. I keep telling myself I did the right thing, and...
    Missybad Missybad 26-30, F 5 Responses Oct 17, 2014

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    Why an affair can be a necessary evil - from

    the point of view of a man. (see story below in comment area due to content restriction)...
    FiremanforYou FiremanforYou 31-35, M 1 Response Mar 24, 2014

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    This is so confusing.

    OM says he wants me as a friend. Says that's what he has always wanted. I apologized for thinking something more. He responds by saying "I love you. You know that." I'm a pretty intelligent woman, but what???
    friendofmine friendofmine 41-45, F Jan 9, 2014

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    Day 6 of no contact today

    and I have hit a wall. Struggling like nothing I have ever experienced before and using every bit of strength I have to not text. I wish this feeling would disappear overnight, hurry up six months and be here already.??
    TASTRS TASTRS 41-45, F 5 Responses Jan 6

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    At 4 days NC after he ended it.

    Trying so hard to resist the urge to message him and let him know I'm thinking about him. :( Gosh I hope this gets easier.
    itsmybiz80 itsmybiz80 31-35, F 4 Responses Jan 1

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    Yes we ended it, somewhere in the first 3 days

    of April. There has been no contact until last week, we started emailing. We aren't exchanging #'s, and our emails are few and far between and we have not spoken a word about our relationship or feelings. So I feel I'm in complete control, for now. He is ok with exchanging...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response May 25, 2014

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    Maybe the wrong forum

    but my lover has ended our affair. Apart from a short break in June we have been meeting for 10 months. Problem, I am his boss. I and he are married, and we both work for my husband. My marriIage had not been good sometimes violent for years. I was attracted to my lover for 18...
    hearttornrose hearttornrose 41-45, F 3 Responses Jan 12

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    Sometimes I Miss My Affair That I Had...

    The affair ended 2 years and I miss him a lot. I still think about him and miss our great connection. He was a single guy and we met at a bar and I lied about being single. We had sex on 2nd night we hung out and it was amazing. He told me he loved me after having the affair for...
    xoxoluvu xoxoluvu 26-30, F 4 Responses Aug 18, 2013

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    2 MONTHS, as of yesterday!

    !!!! I cannot believe how quickly the time has gone by. I still don't have a desire for my husband like I did before my first affair 6 years ago. No matter how committed I am to being a better wife it doesn't magically make me desire him. It's a frustrating experience, because...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Sep 23, 2014

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    Day 4 NC. Everything Is Grey.

    Day 4 of no contact. I’ve read all the books. I’ve watched all the shows. I should have known better, but I was a victim of hope. Until I got far enough into my affair I had no idea that being a “victim of hope” was even a thing.. But it is. We had worked together...
    lyrics101 lyrics101 41-45, F 5 Responses Aug 12, 2013

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    Lately I've been reading soooo many posts about

    people "trying" to end their affairs. I also get a lot of messages from people who are usually in their first week of no contact and want advice on how to get through it. But do any of you really want to end it and start a new chapter?? You write these posts and others spend...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Oct 4, 2014

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    Well it's officially been a month

    since I made the hard decision of starting fresh and ending my affair once and for all. It's actually been over a month since our last conversation but I blocked his # and deleted all his contact info on my 8 year anniversary,1 month ago today. And boy does it feel sooo great...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Aug 22, 2014

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    I Ended My Affair.

    I've been trying to end my affair for the last month.  I also tried to end my affair last week, but he talked me out of it.  I've been doing a lot of thinking and talking to it about friends it and I was killing myself.  We went away together a month ago. ...
    tks tks 36-40, F 26 Responses Oct 26, 2007

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    It's been 9 days since it ended.

    I miss him so badly. I want to text him but would feel destroyed if he didn't return it or if it turned out badly. I'm having a very hard time with our breakup
    lolababy71 lolababy71 41-45, F 5 Responses Jun 7, 2014

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    I Know Exactly How It Feels

    Trust me. I know how it feels. I know exactly how it feels to cry in the shower so no one can hear you. I know what it's like to wait for everyone to be asleep so you can fall apart. For everything to hurt so bad you just want it all to end I know exactly how it feels..
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 11 Responses Apr 6, 2013

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    3 days ago I hit the 3 month mark.

    ....YAY!!! And today, guess who I get a text message from...... About a month ago I decided I was strong enough to unblock him, so I did. And this morning I wake up to a message and it's a picture and the only thing he says is, "did you post your picture on chive...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Oct 25, 2014

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    I want to know how many people were in a roller

    coaster relationship? MM and I have ended our relationship a dozen times. Each time is more painful than the last. I feel so broken hearted. He persued me relentlessly again and again. Only to end the relationship again and again. I feel so off balanced. How were you...
    onmyowntwofeet onmyowntwofeet 36-40, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    I think it's for real this time.

    ... I've deleted him as a contact from my phone and I don't know his # by heart, so the chances of me communicating with him are slim.......it will only happen if he sends me a message. I've also deleted all of his photos, which is probably going to help but right now ALL of this...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Apr 2, 2014

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    I used to post here under TheKatsmeow

    as the other woman trying to end it. I am now posting under strongerthanhethinks because I proved that point. I think he thought he could always have me as his lover while maintaining a home with a wife and kids. I think he thought I wasn't strong enough to end it for good. I...
    strongerthanhethinks strongerthanhethinks 36-40, F 3 Responses Nov 4, 2014

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    I was in an affair with a much younger woman

    the lasted a little over a year. She was extremely beautiful and I finally ended it because I felt she deserved better than being the other woman. She's married now and is working on her Masters Degree. She begged me to do an internship with me which I finally agreed to. Two...
    lee90815 lee90815 41-45, M 2 Responses Oct 7, 2014

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    I Have Been Having the Most Passionate Affair

    I have been having the most passionate affair for almost 3 yrs and 3 months to the day... I can say it has been one of the most amazing rides of my life.  I have discovered things about myself that i did not know existed, dreams i did not know I had .. But before i start let...
    deleted deleted 26-30 21 Responses Sep 19, 2009

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    I ended my affair in Oct 2013,

    I then cleared my head and filed for divorce! My divorce was finalized December 2013. I am happy my affair is over and marriage they were both a lie and I was living it, but not anymore!!!!
    Beautifulnbroken Beautifulnbroken 26-30, F 1 Response Mar 18, 2014

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    For those of you whose affair has ended, how do you come to that conclusion and acceptance? Logically I know the affair has ended, but I checked my chest and my heart is still...
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    he couldn't handle my emotional meltdowns (typical BPD style) and confessed to his wife a vm "toned down" version, a calculated move, before he risked the chance of me telling on...
    69NTD8 69NTD8 36-40, F 2 Responses Jan 19

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    I ended my affair for many reasons as explained in other stories. I fell in love with him because when my life was at it's worst he made me laugh and gave me hope. Well this past...
    pamdaqtpi pamdaqtpi 26-30, F 1 Response Jan 22

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    I met and fell in love with the man I had an affair with before I even met my husband, but he never noticed me that way, until of course I was engaged. I met the other man when I...
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    I'm having a bad day today. I had an affair with a good friend of mine that ended a year ago. First it was emotional only, flirting, chatting...for about 3 years. Then it became...
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