I have everything a 22 year old could ask for. No kids, single, in college, a job, wonderful parents and small group of genuine friends.
But I feel like something's missing. Perhaps a bf? I don't know. I'm not one to be in relationships, can't stand the commitment. Maybe the...
(on my stream of consciousness)
watch the stream as it's going
never stopping, always flowing
how i'm feeling
what i'm thinking
feet are stinking
eat a sandwich,
ping coffee over
there a doctor in
is a mess
ing around isn...
Trickery is what’s done this to me. Fast hands and imperceptible gestures I’ve missed as I’ve gurned and chuntered, spat and hissed, whilst staring into the middle distance and wondered. When I refocus everyone goes quiet, checking your phones. You think you’re so...
Daggers of anxiety tonight.I seem to have grown a new jowl overnight; my slacking is turning to sagging. I think it’s my smile lines atrophying. I should practice to the mirror in the morning - like a chimp gnawing, all teeth and sparkling eyes, eyebrows surprised – all my...
With plastic bag on my head, I filter out all the mistakes that burn my house. Fat, talking heads that float and laugh, keep getting fed.
Eye contact is solar stare, I got myself in mental pit and with every reach I reach upwards, further down, the depth of the pit.
Upwards is a...
So. News? On what shall I muse? There’s so much going on that I’m floundering. Sinking, drowing. I shouldn’t be! I’m supposed to be Master of my Fate not some puppet victim ingrate. I fancy myself in control; a well-oiled machine, getting through, making do...
So I'm sitting outside watching cars go by, listening to Sade and crickets, smokin a 'L.
I love being up this late.....being the only one to feel the breeze (at least that's what it feels like).
So many thoughts running through me; so deep though, I can't decipher them. All...
That's how I feel.
These past few days have been brutal on my spirit. I feel like a failure. And not because I am but because I went from financial stability and freedom to none of this. I went from having a busy social working life to discovering the truth about people who I...
It’s easier said than done, and it’s not fun.I’m combatting insomnia with napping. My mood is snappy, and the weeks flash past almost before I’ve begun. I’m up-front scared with an undercurrent of residual anger; I’m exhibiting bad vibes and my eyes are flashing a...
and an amplifier,
Manufactured in China;
An opulence of blues and pinks;
A cigar-box full of forgotten thinks.
And Kierkegaard’s Works of Love.
Incense and daggers, downloaded distractions;
A mush of green;
Tobacco and vanilla. Broken springs.
Lovers in factions.
Lost, vacant and numb
I followed my existential axioms
To the vanishing point.
Dots to infinity
with the lack of insight.
Tautological circles of crushed chalk protect me.
I go into...
I took a sip and I jumped the gun a bit and missed the edge of the glass as I was pulling away, Pinot Noir dripping. I stared at the almost full moon as I licked the glass to catch what I had missed.
I am alone.
It doesn’t matter. It is somewhat uncouth, but there is no one...
Cream Sherry, cheap hashish and an Epiphone acoustic guitar. Though I like to escape, I don’t like to stray very far. These days. I’ve got two handfuls of tunes to rehearse, get right, and it’s the night. I worked extra hard on the Sabbath but it’s a holiday weekend so...
I’ve got a ‘Here and Now’ *Bong!* app on my phone. So far, thankfully, it’s only gone-off when I’ve been alone. A singing bowl would be better - more resonant but less convenient - over and after-tones kiss-chasing vibrations in my inner ear. A calm down tone...
and wanted to try something new. Thought I might share it.
Blue sky, black heart. Yellow sun, I cast no shadow. Cool breeze passes right through me. I am nothing.
chiseling away at the surface of the raw broken edges of this...
The park now is dark and damp; sodden leaves and slugs squelch underfoot. An astringent barb in my nose from all the decay. Long gone are the post-Olympics runners, the accountants cycling home from work on their new expensive bikes, in their Bradley Wiggins cycle helmets, and...
even feelings become vapor in the cold air. you try to take a breath, but the world moves on, somehow everything becomes a miasmic blur, and you forgot that there is air to breathe. you forgot to see beyond the assembly line of one-dimensional faces, moving pass you, leaving...
Abstract time patterns of thought consciousness whirling kaleidoscope like in a precious few bejewelled seconds of timeless no time for thought just write right right OK no need to read a galaxy exploded distant corona crowned lear like leering like the old man his...
I have so many little birds at the feeder out on my deck that the hawks come almost daily and dive and swoop leaving feathers flying.
I am not quite sure how to feel about this. On the one hand the Sharp-Shinned Hawk is an endangered species, but on the other hand my property has...
i am an omniscient narrator, meandering slightly into convex upheavals,
a constant traveler of sandy cracks, breaking up sidewalks inevitably
while carrying accidental crosses stitched in symmetrical green leaves,
shining as a petroleum-based black surface.
i carene into vast...
Why am I alone?
Who made me this way?
I'm a natural disaster.
I'm battling faulty genes
(I should rejoice in my chastity)
Just like him I get wasted and emotional
Just like her I drink in my bed(What?)
Passed on their party to me
Poor painridden parents
A discoball was my star of...
It seemed to go on for hours
Before I was undone.
Festival Halls of people sung
And clapped raptures;
Roars of approval rang peals and rounds
I was stunned.
Appeals to Heaven –
Nor did my threatening.
I’ve been, at times, a...
Chrysalises of possibilities,
Ripe, supple, armed with all the essentials;
Hot for the frenzied fever of feasting and f*cking,
Squelching and sucking,
Moved by the moon
Choice and Chance
Crystallizing feelings into words, at its most basic, is like making icicles. Trickles of thought, trapped; the encapsulation of Michael held in graceful statis. Hope is eternally frozen, expectant, dreaming away the day. Freedom is just a warm-thawingHeartbeat away.
(too cold for rhyme stance)
What happened to all the good music para guitara?
When it came down to soothing the soul and healing what ails those through the frequencies of rhythm and vocals
And for those lost given a beat to call
To carry them on...