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I Enjoy Witty Humour

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,841 People

    Adonis

    I’d just finished my gym work out yesterday when Adonis walked in and started to unwrap himself. He takes centre stage; his audience glance furtively as he reveals his sculpted physique. His caramel skin emphasised the glowing whiteness of his CK briefs. He sauntered over to...
    gerardfsmith gerardfsmith 41-45, M Dec 25, 2010

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    Bestselling Memoirs

    The Untold Story of Thomas Sawyer Read it and you'll be touched by the tenderness in which a lonely, boy desperately seeks knowledge of his own parentage and his own identity. "I used to sit among friendly and familiar faces, yet even in this devoted home I felt at...
    jophene jophene 36-40, F 1 Response Sep 4, 2010

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    Maggie - A Christmas Special

    Maggie and Mammy were excited. They had been invited to Kathleen’s for Christmas and were looking forward to the company and crack.On Christmas Eve they woke to an unexpected cold snap. By midday the snow was heavy. As darkness fell their tiny cottage perched atop a remote hill...
    gerardfsmith gerardfsmith 41-45, M 1 Response Dec 23, 2010

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    Dream On

     "Do you believe dreams come true?" asked a younger man to his friend. "No!",he responded. "Why?" asked the man slightly surprised. "Well I've been dreaming of winning the lottery, (forgive him dear reader for the shallowness of his dreams)", hasn't happened",he...
    jophene jophene 36-40, F 2 Responses Feb 28, 2010

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    Defence Or Fun?

    Some say humour is used as a defence mechanism. I suppose with me this maybe true, it is difficult to tell. It is also social. I come from a city, a city where in the past life was hard. Humour was a way of making it through every day. So I grew up surrounded with sarcasm and...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Jul 28, 2013

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    Ep

    How a project turned politcal EP   ????????? Member of Experience Project
    jophene jophene 36-40, F 1 Response May 8, 2010

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    H..hhhh.....

    A spluttering of a  cough begins, Cut shouts a man. Relax and try again a glass of water is handed to the actor. Ready and action. Haaa..he waves his hands, and dismissively shakes his head. Cut! yells the man take a break and pull yourself together. Think of the character...
    jophene jophene 36-40, F Nov 15, 2010

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    Told I Am Witty

    I have been told that I am witty at times. May be they are right. My responses to questions can be tongue-in-cheek and tends to confirm this. I do personally think it is good to be witty as it breaks the ice. Some people may take exception to this. I am not a very careful...
    HardingP119 HardingP119 36-40, M 1 Response Nov 14, 2012

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    Supermarket Man

    A man is standing in line at the checkout queue. His basket contains: one pint of milk, six eggs, a small loaf of bread, a tub of soured cream and a six-pack of AA batteries. As his turn arrives, he notices that the very pretty checkout girl is taking a prolonged and interested...
    gerardfsmith gerardfsmith 41-45, M 4 Responses Dec 14, 2010

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    Tom's Classic Collection

    School Blues? The follow-up to the bestselling school anthem Disliked Day of the Week: I Don't Like Mondays and Panic because Tom is and many people agree over Mondays. Tom wants to runaway but his aunt says he'll be fine Boy ur late again The clock stopped telling the time...
    jophene jophene 36-40, F Aug 30, 2010

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    Christmas Story

    A man in Scotland calls his son in London the day before Christmas Eve and says "I hate to ruin your day but I have to tell you that your Mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough." "Dad, what are you talking about?" the son yells. "We can't stand the...
    Zoranna Zoranna 56-60, F 6 Responses Dec 12, 2012

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    Word Of Caution Unexplained Phenomena

    CNN has reportedly warned of leaving pumpkins outdoors, this American tradition has led to congestion and roads are blocked with carriages. Larry Sanders laughingly said, Well it happened to Cinderalla!
    jophene jophene 36-40, F Oct 31, 2010

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    Maggie & Kathleen 3

    Maggie was full of the joys of spring as she walked along the quiet country lane to her friend Kathleen’s to enjoy a good gossip. A car approached and she stepped back to let it pass; it was a posh one she noted, the same as the Bank Managers. But the car stopped and it was...
    gerardfsmith gerardfsmith 41-45, M 1 Response Dec 16, 2010

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    I May Be Slow But.....

    Nothing gets the synapse firing like someone with a quick wit. I enjoy those people the most. Especially if you can get something past me and I don't realize it for a few minutes, or a few days. If I ask a question, I'll always go with the one with some wit and humor attached.
    AlDemone AlDemone 51-55, M 1 Response Nov 28, 2011

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    PE? (Political Equation)

    MG = minority government leading in HP = hung Parliament debate begins on PR = proportional Representation CP = Conservative Party in talks with N.C. a KP key player.   CP + Lib Dems discuss forming a C = coalition   Meanwhile, GB...
    jophene jophene 36-40, F 2 Responses May 8, 2010

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    mejj mejj 36-40, F 2 Responses May 16, 2013

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    Ladies And Gentlemen

    An impressed woman told her friend, "That man is such a gentleman, etc. etc.and many other lavish praises. Her friend listened quietly, and replied wisely, "But is he a gentle man?" Her friend took the hint and smiled thoughtfully.
    jophene jophene 36-40, F 1 Response Feb 28, 2010

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    Knock, Knock

    Knock, Knock.. Knocking continues. Please use the doorbell unlike ur gag we've updated.
    jophene jophene 36-40, F 1 Response Aug 30, 2010

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    Maggie & Kathleen 2

    Maggie was very excited. A handsome farmer from a neighbouring town had invited her to the cinema. The following day she was on cloud nine and rushed to Kathleen’s to tell her friend all about the date. “Oh, he’s a pure gentleman Kathleen, he bought me a big bag...
    gerardfsmith gerardfsmith 41-45, M 1 Response Dec 15, 2010

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    Witty Humour

    Witty humour,Love it,Nothin' like it,Enjoying a laugh,At some witty joke.
    lazycrazybasket lazycrazybasket 46-50, M 1 Response Mar 10, 2012

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    An Education

    We weren’t bad boys, just mischievous; Martin and I spent a lot of time visiting the Headmasters office while at secondary school. Back from summer break we had a lot to catch up on – lessons were far from our mind. Sometime over the holidays Martin had discovered...
    gerardfsmith gerardfsmith 41-45, M 2 Responses Nov 30, 2010

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    Epgate..?

    Stop, the discovery has yet to enter the google connection.. A friend who was about to tap in the letter g..readily looks up surprised aborting their fingers in mid air. Well? they query. EP gate is apparently a current term recently invented.. When? the friend...
    jophene jophene 36-40, F 1 Response Jul 30, 2010

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    Back To School Tom? Read My Lips

    Tom are you still up there? Come on down boy, an exasperated aunt Polly calls. Sitting at the table she recalls, It's been 3 days and three whole nights and not a sight of him. He needs a good education and school started last week. What am I to do? An idea enters her mind...
    jophene jophene 36-40, F Sep 4, 2010

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    Petting Time

    Today i feel like walking... The dog, a friend interrupts. No a pony across the golden beaches, splendidly laid out.
    jophene jophene 36-40, F Nov 20, 2010

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    Fanny V Butt (sea Monkey Story Part 2)

    I arrived in a small town called Holderness in New Hampshire full of youthful curly headed enthusiasm (sadly, the curls have since abandoned me.) I came from Ireland to work as a Crew Guy in a holiday camp to supplement my Art school fees and experience an American summer...
    gerardfsmith gerardfsmith 41-45, M 2 Responses Nov 26, 2010

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    Little Of It These Days

    I do enjoy witty humor as it great in making serious matters not look so bad, the quickness of a person's mind to think on their feet to install humor..but then again I get confused by a lot of things these days..........like if a woman walks up and down a street does that make...
    PoppaBear53 PoppaBear53 56-60, M 2 Responses Sep 27, 2011

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    Him

    I never really believed in him. My earliest memory is of studying his image and wondering how a big lump slid down a small chimney? A few weeks later I met him in the flesh, at a department store  – my Mother sat me on his lap. I looked closely, the face was real, the...
    gerardfsmith gerardfsmith 41-45, M 1 Response Nov 28, 2010

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    The Birds And The Bees

    I lay on my bed and waited to die – I was almost 12.   I knew ************ was wrong, it could make you go blind the priests told us. However, like all young boys I was a prolific ****** with perfect sight; priests were liars! So I carried on  – until the...
    gerardfsmith gerardfsmith 41-45, M Nov 27, 2010

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    Wife And Encyclopaedia

    Seen somewhere and could not resist to share with you all: FOR SALE BY OWNER. Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes. Excellent condition, £200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.  
    inspiration1 inspiration1 61-65, M 3 Responses May 25, 2012

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    Maggie & Kathleen 3

    Maggie was full of the joys of spring as she walked along the quiet country lane to her friend Kathleen’s to enjoy a good gossip. A car approached and she stepped back to let it pass; it was a posh one she noted, the same as the Bank Managers. But the car stopped and it was...
    gerardfsmith gerardfsmith 41-45, M Dec 16, 2010

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    Sea Monkeys

    When I was nine I longed to own a family of Sea Monkeys. They smiled at me from the back of my Marvel comics, urging me to invite them into my world. But an ocean divided us – the Atlantic. I lived in England and to obtain my pets I would have to cut-out a coupon and send...
    gerardfsmith gerardfsmith 41-45, M 1 Response Nov 26, 2010

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    Tom Sawyer's Inimitable Back To School Collection

    Favourite school anthem: Kids don't need no education. Aunty Polly disagrees.Such material is too revoultionery, songs that like encourage Tom's fervent dislike of school lessons.The other day he claimed, Aunt the school can indoctrinate innocent minds, I feel I may have to...
    jophene jophene 36-40, F Aug 30, 2010

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    Gloves

    NO places-NO names- but it went down something like this....A young man needs to find a gift for his loved one for her birthday. Since they've gone out for very short time, he decides after some serious consideration to give her a pair of gloves. It would be romantic, but not an...
    1arnold1 1arnold1 22-25 6 Responses Mar 5, 2011

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    There is nothing better

    than when someone knows you well enough to send you a text that makes you laugh even walking alone in public
    jazziebb jazziebb 31-35, F 1 Response Jan 22

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    Fake, Me???????????

    One thing Gordon Brown cannot be accused of is being a phony...At least he's the real deal, brought a smile to my face.
    jophene jophene 36-40, F 2 Responses May 13, 2010

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    Maggie & Kathleen

    Maggie bumps into Kathleen on the village high street. After exchanging pleasantries Kathleen says, “I saw your husband walking up the town with a big bunch of red roses this morning, aren’t you the lucky lady?” Maggie rolls her eyes upwards and responds wearily...
    gerardfsmith gerardfsmith 41-45, M Dec 15, 2010

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    The Bagpiper

    I heard this yesterday and I chuckled, thought I'd share: As a bagpiper, I play many gigs. Recently I was asked by a funeral director to play at a graveside service for homeless man. He had no family or friends, so the service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the back...
    Zoranna Zoranna 56-60, F 1 Response Nov 17, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    No one makes me laugh harder than me because I am hilarious and the best ^w^ Hector: Your also modest ~_~ Quite modest actually o_O Brain: Hey that's my line ^_^' Hector: too bad I...
    SquirrellyChanLuvsAcorns83 SquirrellyChanLuvsAcorns83 18-21 Mar 28

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    Alaska is a wonderful tourist spot that gives the best feeling of enjoyment in winter and summer season. The place has a lot of adventures prepared to put up smiles and memorable...
    antoine76gallowa antoine76gallowa 31-35 Mar 20

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    As my work is so hectic the best time of the week is off day and going camping and fishing as it makes your adrenaline soars like a bird when you caugth something big and pull your...
    tawam tawam 36-40, M Mar 23

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    I grew up in a modest family. My brother is just one year older and we shared a bedroom until we moved when I was 11. At age 13 I saw him nude for the first time when our P.E...
    artonthebrain artonthebrain 41-45, M 1 Response Apr 7

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    I have always heard; being in the moment is rewarding. However, there are few times, I actually am "in the moment." Overall, I have had a great life - I am in college, have good...
    DeMarcusKinkle DeMarcusKinkle 18-21, M 4 days ago

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    I was waiting at the parking lot today while enjoying the good music. I opened my car's panoramic sun roof and I saw the beautiful sky. I clearly imagined something with an...
    Yojj13 Yojj13 31-35, F 2 Responses Mar 30

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    1. Pain is part of growing. Sometimes life closes doors because it’s time to move forward. And that’s a good thing because we often won’t move unless circumstances force us...
    EnigmatiK EnigmatiK 22-25, M 3 Responses a week ago

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    Of course everything is subject to change, the universe is in constant movement and change. That's why I only worry about today and enjoy today. For I only have today to enjoy...
    Maurelle Maurelle 22-25 5 days ago

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    I really enjoy cooking and eating. I love trying new recipes! It keeps life interesting! There aren't many foods I don't like so most foods are a win in my book! As long as no...
    GreekGoddesz GreekGoddesz 36-40, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    I do enjoy listening to myself. So yeh. I enjoy funny people :P
    pappa94 pappa94 18-21, M 4 days ago

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      I occasionally come across a group of people who feel adamant about me writing a autobiography. Every time somebody says this to me, I find myself swollen with pride from...
    CaraLina CaraLina 18-21 2 days ago

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    One of the main reasons for joining EP was because I enjoy meeting people, talking to them and getting to know them. And sometimes true friendships develop. It doesn't mean that...
    aussieguy01 aussieguy01 51-55, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    I regularly stop if I see someone pulled over. I have had people be grateful and some rude. Ether way I enjoy helping people.
    Readytorun567 Readytorun567 26-30, M 4 Responses Mar 21

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    Today I'm switching it up from my usual rock . It's Friday and I work the weekend let turn on a lil country. Luke Bryan and one lol the tail gates and tan lines album I'll start...
    RKing13 RKing13 31-35, M 1 Response Mar 21

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    I'm in Gettysburg, PA today. My favorite time period is the Civil War Era. This place is so full of history and everywhere I go, everyone is so nice. There are people dressed in...
    455cargirl 455cargirl 36-40, F 4 Responses Mar 22

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    Sometimes we meet people in the right time and place. Early this week, I went to visit my friend. We went shopping and I met this guy at the store. He approached me first and tried...
    Yojj13 Yojj13 31-35, F 4 Responses Mar 22

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    this is one powerful epic band not everyone has heard of them the sound reminded slightly of Nine Inch Nails but with middle eastern guitar influences - this song is a great...
    Soroe Soroe 36-40, M Mar 23

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