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I Feel Like Dying a Lot of the Time

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 230 People

    Why Won't Death Come to Me Already?

    When will my time finally come? I have been trying for years now and for some reason, there is a little voice in my head that keeps telling me "not too deep" or "not too much". A couple of years ago, my depression got so bad where the suicidal part of me came...
    ajtsai ajtsai 18-21, M 5 Responses Sep 27, 2009

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    I Don't Know How To Feel Anymore

    I'm scared. My sister says I'm the one that's suppose to be the normal one in the family. Every since two years ago when he touched me and I felt like no one ever believed me because I didn't scream, I feel like no one will ever believe me. I've cried so much and no one will ever...
    ialwayscareforothersbutmyself ialwayscareforothersbutmyself 18-21, F Oct 27, 2013

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    I know there are a lot of people

    who feel this way and it seems to be getting worse as the years go on. It's not that I don't want to live because I do. I want to live more than anyone has ever lived before. It's just sometimes I feel alone, like there is some reason that I can't be loved. I'm just too...
    kpax81 kpax81 31-35, M 2 Responses Apr 8

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    It Can Be An Obsession

    I was told that the constant thought of dying is just a way to protect myself. the thought of dying gives me some relief of something better so I can continue dealing. I have tried to commit suicide and its not somthing I want to revisit but It was an amazing feeling knowing...
    cindy17 cindy17 18-21, F 2 Responses May 22, 2009

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    I Plan My Death Next Friday Night

    I'm planning to commit suicide. I feel there is nothing else I can do. I have many pills. Strong pain killers like hydrocodone. I will take these and die. I have daydreamed of doing this since 4th grade and now I am going to do it and end it all. Why put up with the melancholy...
    elivasquez elivasquez 16-17, F 6 Responses Mar 29, 2013

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    Dying

    I hate it when i feel like dying,it makes me feel like i fail in life.But how can i tolerate all these unnecessary pressure in life.I love my family but they're always breaking my heart.I love my friends but they don't know how i feel.i always think that telling my feelings and...
    100suns 100suns 13-15 5 Responses Sep 29, 2011

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    My Comfort Zone

    As sad as it may be I get happy and feel comfort at the thought of death! I'm not scared of it or have any fear of death In any way. I don't know why but I can't stop thinking of it I can feel depressed but as soon as it crosses my mind I feel at ease I feel relief! But it hits...
    xHurley xHurley 31-35, M 2 Responses Feb 25, 2013

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    I Am Ready

    I have to say, i am suicidal. For the first time i am really done living on this stupid earth. I have attempted suicide before, but this time it will be different, it will be permanent, and i will make sure of it. Im not sure when i am going to commit, but i know it will be soon...
    apml apml 16-17, F 4 Responses Sep 28, 2013

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    Im Trying To Make An Impact, That Will Change The World.

    Theres a lot in this brain but heres how i feel: Same old nights, same old story, re-told a thousand times over again by the countless people who have realized (again) that their current situation was displeasing. Theres always a point when either they "man-up" or find a good...
    jeffafa0516 jeffafa0516 18-21, M Feb 3, 2013

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    Not Feel At All

    Almost every night I sit up till 3am wondering. Curious if these could be my final days. Wondering if maybe the Zoloft will help me end it all, but I doubt it. Maybe I could just throw a toaster in my bathtub, like the old movies. Simple yet painful. Takes me back to "The...
    ImEndangeredGimmeYourCola ImEndangeredGimmeYourCola 18-21, F 5 Responses Oct 16, 2009

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    The Man On The Side Of The Road

    This email is written in sorrow and tears as I again plead for the very lives of hurting people everywhere. I had the misfortune a few minutes ago of viewing the body of a probable murder victim; I say probably because the gentleman's body was wrapped in a tarp except for the...
    girl4god girl4god 36-40, F 1 Response Feb 27, 2012

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    What Will It Take?

     I know that my body does things that I can't control to protect myself but is this one of them? How can I be sure of anything? When I could know that this is just my body protecting me? It's so confusing I just want death even more..
    lovers4life lovers4life 13-15, F May 23, 2009

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    Only When I Am Hungover

    I swear to god I have thought I was dying when I've been hungover a few times hahaha =P
    TheWanderingSupertramp TheWanderingSupertramp 22-25, M 1 Response Sep 29, 2011

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    Each Breath

    it feels stolen. the breath i take. each step i take feels like im taking a step closer to another problem. every time i pass a mirror im reminded of the horrible person i feel like i am. each time someone looks at me with that look of disgust i want to vanish. every time im...
    monsterwithinme monsterwithinme 16-17, F Nov 5, 2011

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    Train

    Today while waiting for a train 2 meet the duchess in town for a split second i considered jumping in front of a train i get like it every so often
    deleted deleted 26-30 Sep 9, 2013

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    Again

    It feels like a long time since ive felt like dying.. a few years maybe. Somehow the feeling has come creeping back. Now its something that i think and feel all the time, even when im happy. Sometimes, i feel so happy that i just want to die, sometimes i feel so sad that i want...
    kittymeoww kittymeoww 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 29, 2012

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    They Say Suicides Go To Hell

    So I don't think I'll actually bring myself to attempt it anymore. But believe me when I say, I want to cease to exist. I cry all the time. I self medicate with illegal drugs, perscription pain killers, and benzos. I am an addict. I'm just trying to numb away my pain. My physical...
    waiting4accident waiting4accident 22-25, F 6 Responses Oct 16, 2009

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    :(

    some time i will be ignored by all at that time i feel like dying .....:(
    pratvi pratvi 18-21 Nov 21, 2012

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    I have no idea what I'm ever doing,

    I pray every night that it will be my last. I've been on a downspiral since the love of my life decided it would be better if we werent together. i thought i'd be fine, but the emotional pain every day is slowley killing me. I don't know what to do I feel like i've lost half of...
    greenangel609 greenangel609 18-21, F Dec 7, 2013

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    I Hate My Life...Why Live?

    I just want it all to end...the pain and the hurt...I feel like a burden...
    BloodyTale BloodyTale 22-25, F 6 Responses Jul 24, 2013

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    Im Spinning Out Of Controll

    whats next? tell me, please. i sware...i just cant take this. this pain i feel. i want it to go away. im sick of life. im sick of myself. its freaking 5am and i cant go back to sleep because i cant stop thinking. my mind is rushing everywhere. how did i loose myself??? and why...
    BellaVara BellaVara 18-21, F Oct 16, 2009

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    I Don'T Know What To Do Or Where To Go Anymore

    I just feel like I'm ruining everything for everyone. My boyfriend is perfect, he knows I've been suicidal in the past. I transferred schools to be with him and now I feel like I'm taking over his life. He hates that he rarely gets to hang out with guy friends or his brother. I'm...
    hopelessanddesperate hopelessanddesperate 18-21, F Feb 24, 2013

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    Try Try And Try Again.......

    heads up this story is going to be long and also a lot of miss spellings so please forgive me btw im male my first try was when i was 12 the reason why is cuz i was raped by my mothers female friend before i moved back south i was sitting in my bead listen to a cd a friend...
    shadowxangel shadowxangel 18-21, M 2 Responses Apr 25, 2012

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    Wish to Go to Sleep and Never Wake Up...

    there hasn'st been a day, when i could be happy. i cry all the time. especially when i shower so no one can hear me. the reason i've held on is for my daughter, she'll be seventeen in october. i leave with with my boyfriend. we've been together for nine years. he's two sons live...
    mtpi mtpi 46-50, F 11 Responses Sep 17, 2009

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    I Don'T Know

    I'm not saying I'm suicidal. But if there was a car coming at me I wouldn't get out of the way. And no one would miss me... I think about ways to die and I want to. I just can't bring my self to do it. I wanna leave.
    Jassisamra96 Jassisamra96 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 21, 2013

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    When It's Dark Out

    I can't really blame my depression or my family or friends. Hell, even my therapist. I can't blame it on his best friend's wandering hands and eyes. I can't blame it on RM who went to far months after my thirteenth birthday. I can't blame it on all the times you did it afterward...
    breezeblocks breezeblocks 18-21, F Sep 30, 2013

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    In My Times Of Dying

    it started last year when I was fifthteen. I thought I met that special girl but everyone knows what happened if you read the story. Anyways after the many complications during the 5 weeks of talking to her I finally knew I was changing mentally. I thought differently and was...
    zosozeppelin95 zosozeppelin95 18-21, M 6 Responses Jul 16, 2011

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    From Dying To Dancing

    "The trials in our life can either make us bitter or better. Affliction can either draw us closer to the heart of God or drive us further from Him; it all depends on our view of God." -Mark A. FinleyFor many years I was very bitter towards God because I felt alone and abandoned...
    girl4god girl4god 36-40, F Feb 24, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    It's funny. I'm 27, turning 28 soon. All my life I have lived to please my parents. I decided to apply to college abroad once, got accepted. My parents weren't happy about it and...
    AsiG AsiG 26-30, F 3 hrs ago

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    When I look at depression and compared my stories to others. I felt like I have actually won this depression that is eating inside of me. I was only stuck in the mud pit of...
    Artz4Life Artz4Life 16-17, M 1 Response 18 hrs ago

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    So here I am. Conversing with strangers on the internet in search for a reason not to blow my brains out. In retrospect, I'm not surprised. I can see the whole sordid chain of...
    Stillnothing Stillnothing 22-25, M 1 Response Sep 5

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    His Goodbye, Her Goodbye, All Goodbye. I've learned to accept myself in terms of appearance and character, but I don't feel like I'm good enough for other people. It's like...
    Samaccino Samaccino 16-17, F 8 hrs ago

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    My husband Johnny and I have been together for 2 years, married for a year and a half. We met through his older brother 2 1/2 years ago and started talking as friends. Neither one...
    ashleymarcia ashleymarcia 22-25, F Aug 28

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    Its 7:40pm... Dad is at work. Jake is at football practice and im laying in bed. My dad has been home. Its good and bad. In the morning. Dad wakes up. And when hes leaving for work...
    KovusShame KovusShame 13-15, F Aug 28

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    I'm just really really disappointed. I told my mom that this woman (I have a story of how I distrusted this adult who happens to be my moms close friend and how she is now bluntly...
    LoveisBeautiful5013 LoveisBeautiful5013 18-21, F Aug 28

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    There you go, I feel like a failure sometimes no matter how hard I try not to quit. My whole life I feel like I been going in circles. Like no matter what I do to try to succeed in...
    MrKool82 MrKool82 31-35, M 1 Response 2 days ago

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    I have a few different feelings that are similar and I can't stand feeling the way I do about it. First, my real family; I miss them all so much but especially my sister and...
    gardengirl17 gardengirl17 22-25, F Aug 31

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    My husband often makes me feel like myself and our kids come in second to his friends and video games and whatever else he can distract himself with. I know it could be just me...
    AshWilkie AshWilkie 22-25, F 1 Response Aug 31

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    No matter who it is I can never make a significant connection with them. My father, and mother both care for me I can tell, and I respect them but to be perfectly honest I feel as...
    aimlessglitch aimlessglitch 18-21, M Sep 2

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    I posted about a similar problem last night, and like most people the night is a very emotional time for me so I feel the need to post this again but from a slightly different...
    KayJayHoeBum KayJayHoeBum 16-17, M Sep 5

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    A few months ago my brother was arrested and is now on bail till the 8th December (1 day before his birthday). I am 14 years old and I feel like my family is falling apart as there...
    MimiChim MimiChim 13-15, F Sep 6

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    Sometime I think I should just give up on the possibility of me and him. I met him a month or more ago. What started out as something that made me so hopeful has turned into more...
    emelon12 emelon12 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 6

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    I am so f**king sick of feeling broken and lost. I shouldn't have to hate myself because others treated me like crap. I am not some injured lamb who needs to be nursed back to...
    LunaKye LunaKye 22-25, F 3 Responses Sep 7

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    I’ve always listened to people when they said that it’s okay to be different. That’s why I always kinda tried to embrace it. But no matter where I go, People always seem to...
    Tweeter97 Tweeter97 18-21, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    So about 10 months ago I moved from the state I grew up in. I live about 500 miles from there now and when I got here I was busy with moving and buying a house and traveling for...
    ande7897 ande7897 26-30, M 1 Response Aug 26

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    For the past two weeks, I don’t think I’ve dreamed once-or if I have, I don’t remember it. That probably doesn’t seem all that significant… Except for me. It’s made...
    Sarahbellas Sarahbellas 26-30, F 3 Responses Aug 30

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    I feel like I bother everyone, even if they sit next to me in class I feel bad for my friends who waist their time with me, I'm sorry for anyone reading this I waisted your time
    dominick6 dominick6 13-15, M 2 Responses Sep 2

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    YES YES I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE THIS, this feeling is so disturbing! Eventhough they, my friends says they enjoy my accompany & they likes it when i get all happy & hyper but i just idk...
    saffaismail saffaismail 16-17, F 1 Response Sep 6

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    Hi. My I like to go by Snow. Well I'll keep the story shorter than what it truly is. Well I currently do no live with my mother, she lives in another town nearby with my grandma...
    SnowKittyRosa SnowKittyRosa 16-17, F 1 Response Sep 11

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    Let me first start off by saying I am a natural worrier. By this, I mean my life wouldn't feel right or I would be bored if I didn't worry. Granted, it takes its' toll on me but I...
    Cherrybean84 Cherrybean84 26-30, F 6 days ago

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