never let myself give up on the slightest chance that life will turn toward the path I crave to create. Nothing will cease my determination to get there one day, but I cannot help but feel I am losing my battle and falling into the darkness.
Almost every day. I enjoy that. Being happy, laughter. Ebullient nature, if you will. On the surface, it is like that. But, lately, a deep pensive sorrow. I can't quite name. I wish I could. Maybe, its name is disappointment.
I hate the fact that I'm alive and the hopeless feeling in the pit of my stomach that never goes away. I hate never being good enough. I hate the fact that I'm completely alone. I hate the fact my thoughts control me. I hate the fat on my body. I hate the a scars and cuts on me...
At first I thought that I was just upset about all my family losses,But then Id relized Id got a bad case of depresion.
I felt like I had to do every thing and I felt like every one expected me to do things,I am an only doughter, eldest grandauter,only grandauter only nece.It...
I had many dreams when I was young. A artist, author, teacher etc.... I then found that my dream was actually to become a manga artist. I believed in myself so much that I would become one but then I was shattered. I was born with this it wasn't placed on me after my birth. My...
A moldy dusty damp cage of an ancient age
So dark that only shadows seems bright
Blood moon hides within the cloud
tis my embrace of it's holy shroud.
Cracks within the walls distant screams
fill the halls.
A clank and rattle of chains to remind me of
my pains as the keeper...
Like an unwritten story
Pulling the words through the skin of my chest
Tonight I came apart
Gravity resumed its space inside
I'm giving up on us
Ever living in the flesh
But I'll hold you
Inside my mind
Written in the scars of my broken heart...
What should I do when all is lost to me? When even in the daytime the night surrounds me. The thunder rolls around me as tears fall from my eyes like massive rainstorms. Just let me weep into the darkness alone.
I am the lonely wanderer, lost and afraid, simply trying...
I have always been a happy girl, sometimes a bit sad but nothing like now.
Four years ago I hurt my right knee during my karate class and it was the start of four years of emptyness, sadness and loneliness.
It all came down from that point.
No one seemed to know why it was...
As I go through the path called my life.
It seemed at the beginning that my life was going to be bright, full of happiness...
I don't know when it happened when i took a wrong turn, but lately as the days go by
Darker the path seems to be!
I can't understand...
....i've just come out of the darkness and i can feel myself going there again almost as if im being pulled...dragged back into the darkness where the passion of my life melts away and the poison tipped arrows of life pierce my heart, my soul, my everything
My heart is frozen, my feelings gone numb
If I could only see the light
Anger, Rage and Loss
They are old friends of mine
My eyes are blinded, my thoughts locked
The edge to madness becomes a thin line
Pain, Crazy and Sorrow
Just won't leave me alone
My memories are clear...
and beating me ,I thought that me being kind and good will just let me live in fear , so I told myself that I want to change to bad, in that moment I felt a weird feeling like something was getting out of me I thought that was the evil me I was trying to keep away for long , and...