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I Find Myself In a Cycle That I Need to Break

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 194 People

    From Each Day A New Beginning

    A woman who has no way of expressing herself and of realizing herself as a full human has nothing else to turn to but the owning of material things. —Enriqueta Longeaux y Vasquez Each of us struggling with these Twelve Steps is finding self-expression and self-definition...
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Oct 15, 2013

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    Ehm

    Depression.I need to break the cycle.*throws depression into a puddle**puts on rain boots and goes back to pick depression up**decides to throw depression into the ocean**hopes that depression burns in the pits of hell*:D
    CrazyHippieChick CrazyHippieChick 22-25, F 2 Responses Sep 19, 2011

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    Strike Three...not Looking For #4....

    I guess my story starts when I was married to my first husband....he was abusive and not grown up yet. We loved each other alot but things just got really bad fast...he cheated, we fought then my daughter came into the picture. To make a long story short things happened and I...
    truetomyself truetomyself 46-50, F 4 Responses Aug 30, 2011

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    I Guess Im Stuck In the Middle

    im stuck in a cycle of demanding friendships and emotional leaches, i find it hard to find time to myself, i try to make more time, its a sort of guilt for no being enough, for not being more available, i am steadily breaking free though, little by little
    Donalh Donalh 22-25, M 1 Response Jun 8, 2008

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    If We Do Not We Are Perfect ..... Not

    There are many cycles to break out of ... right now I am drinking to much beer and smoking to much. Sometimes the cycles just creep up on me and it takes some time to realize. I believe no one is perfect and its only denial that can hurt us. If we take the time to examine, I...
    francis28340 francis28340 61-65, M May 18, 2008

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    Since I'm not on school right now,

    not working, and all my friends are busy these days, I haven't been doing much of anything at all lately. It's just been a cycle of eating, sleeping, and Internet surfing. The break was nice at first, but now it's just depressing. And after lazing about so much, I can't find...
    almaera almaera 18-21, F Apr 24, 2014

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    Computer

    I need to get it out. Mind feels clouded. I waste my days off . I need to clean my room, I run off to work everyday. I feel most energetic to get something done before I must go to work. I feel spiritual when I am on EP. I listen to my music. Someone, please, I just thought it...
    NateGreat4 NateGreat4 31-35, M Oct 6, 2011

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    Broke the Mold

    Finally Stepped outside the Cycle. Been happy going on two weeks now. Nothing Can change that. Once you Say no more Put your foot down. Walk to the light. Open your heart and begin to shine. You Find that Cycle Breaking. I am happy with my choices now.. Next Keep Pushing no...
    matthewsmommy matthewsmommy 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 8, 2008

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    And Who Doesn't?

    We all find ourselves in this point at some moment of our lives... Sometimes you dont really know why (specially at the beggining) but in the end... there's this little thing... sometimes a secret... that just needs to be told so we can be free        ...
    wonttell wonttell 22-25 Jul 20, 2008

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    I am stuck in a stupid pointless unfeeling

    relationship that is ruining every good part of me. I love my girlfriend but we dont have much in common we dont have sex and i doubt shes attracted to me we rarly communicate and i know im missing somthing great right now settling for her. So why am i still with her? Habits...
    StormOokami StormOokami 22-25, F 2 Responses Apr 24, 2014

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    Random

    So some days it's like the world is at my feet. But that's only when I get what I want. There is this vicious cycle I'm afraid i've created for myself. I hate to be alone, I think. At times I'm totally comfortable being alone. But At times I just want an escape. I...
    huggsnkissezz huggsnkissezz 18-21 1 Response Feb 18, 2009

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    I think this speaks for it's self.

    N 14 years I have been married and up and down up and down. But hey is it bad or is it for the kids or is it because it is what has to be done?
    lu7998 lu7998 31-35, F 1 Response Apr 24, 2014

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    Ellytheoutcast Ellytheoutcast 13-15, F May 2, 2014

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    My Current Life

    Ok here it is, my life is kinda dull right now. I'll start off with my job. I'm a landscaper and it's alot harder than you might think. I have a TON of stress from my job due to the fact that I get ragged on most of the time for stupid mistakes and I'm usually the one to get in...
    Hopelessinjersey Hopelessinjersey 22-25, M Sep 13, 2009

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    The Big Circle

    I had a huge revelation recently and I am caught up in a cycle that has to stop. I am extremely hard on myself and talk negatively daily. Done it as far back as I can remember and it's going to stop. Hard to catch myself sometimes but making a concerted effort to stop it...
    VoteForPedro VoteForPedro 51-55, F Jul 9, 2012

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    A Bad Romance

    It seems I'm with a guy that will love love love me and then go back to his baby mama. We go through this cycle of him being nice, getting distant, deciding he wants to be with no one, taking me back, making things up to me, and then it starts all over again. I guess the...
    joeysemtex joeysemtex 18-21, F Apr 12, 2010

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    I was doing a photo edit (because sometimes

    that's my only real way to be myself in life). And I labeled it with one of my favorite quotes. "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results each time". Albert Einstein Man was truly smart on so many levels. And this is so true.
    lu7998 lu7998 31-35, F May 2, 2014

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    Related Experiences

    I don't know if he loves me. Could be some. I know it's not enough. Not enough to care if he hurts me, alienates me, drives me away. I think it's sad. I'm confused by the person he...
    justNIK justNIK 41-45, F Feb 17

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    Ah, it's quiet. All ready for bed but not quite yet. Needed to sit in the quiet and let the thoughts roam some first. Bundled up in my I-apparently-live-in-the-arctic jammies...
    justNIK justNIK 41-45, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    It's so weird to feel so sure of your way, yet so lost at the same time. I am pretty young, yet I know exactly what I want to do and where I want to go in the future. I've planned...
    VolumeChi VolumeChi 13-15, F Feb 21

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    I remind myself I was never lost in the first place. Like that song. Didnt know I was lost... When do we lose ourselves? Do we really? or just learning and wanting more means we...
    R0GUE R0GUE 70+ 5 days ago

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    I don't think I know who I am. I don't love myself like I'm suppose to because I have insecurities about myself. I don't like my size and I wish I was prettier. I wish I looked my...
    jenniebaez1992 jenniebaez1992 22-25, F 1 Response Feb 4

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    Not trying hard enough.. I lost my resilience when I lost myself.
    simmerdame simmerdame 16-17, F Feb 13

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    I just read this article and whoever wrote it did a really good job of explaining the complex bad relationships people go through. It's probably worth your time to read it...
    threestepsback threestepsback 18-21, F 5 days ago

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    I was married for a long time and now I'm not...during my marriage I had 3 children, earned 2 degrees and built my life around my husband. When he passed, I realized I had...
    mommyraquel mommyraquel 31-35 1 Response 4 days ago

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    that would protect against a believed impending doom ie a bow and over 2 dozen arrows and a sword? Do you?
    bomblez bomblez 26-30, M Feb 2

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    It happened two weeks ago, I broke up with him because I felt he wasn't attracted to me as much. Since then he has texted me like crazy, he really wants to get back together. I...
    mysteryteen mysteryteen 16-17, F 3 hrs ago

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    When you can't have someone you fell in love with it is the worst feeling. I have been in this position for more than 5 times. The latest one has been one of the hardest ever...
    Tonydsd Tonydsd 18-21, M Feb 14

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    I'm not even sure where to start, or how to do this. As I try to focus to get this out, I can't help but fear how melodramatic I'm being. I don't get to talk to anyone, really. The...
    tacgirl tacgirl 26-30, F 4 Responses Feb 2

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    I'm unable to be involved in relationships that have healthy exchanges of affection, compassion, and love. This is not my choice, but the result of many years of chronic anxiety...
    DarkPathos DarkPathos 51-55, M 4 Responses Feb 3

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    I honestly find myself very ugly. I am not at my idea weight. I feel like I break out to much. yet this school year 5 people have told me they find me attractive. two of my guy...
    iwouldntmind iwouldntmind 16-17, F Feb 15

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    I've been a member for only a few months and I've talked to some amazing people and some unique ones. I'm finding myself spending far too much time here and not enough in the real...
    abscuramma abscuramma 41-45, F 1 Response Feb 10

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    It's my first year of college and I'm in a long distance relationship. I've battled with depression in high school especially my sophomore year. I was doing so well and told myself...
    ediyorio ediyorio 18-21, F 7 Responses Feb 8

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    Hi. I'm so confused and really don't know what to do anymore about my relationship. We have been together almost five years now and I don't know if I should keep going forward. I...
    famwoman17 famwoman17 22-25, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    Okay , I know this is gonna be weird to lots of people but it's really serious and I need help , so please don't make fun. I wanna know how to make guys stop falling in love with...
    Nayera Nayera 16-17 Feb 4

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    I have Dermatillomania. I always find myself drawn to my mirror after the shower when I have clean skin. Sometimes I think about papering it up so I can't see my skin but.. It's...
    frenchcherry frenchcherry 22-25, F Feb 5

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    I tried writing this experience once but it shut down in the middle, so I'm a little frustrated but I'll try again. I was saying that I find myself doing things just for the sole...
    Shamandora Shamandora 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 7

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    I'm finding myself feeling and not being able to combat the darkness within me. I'm not sure why, but the sense of lingering frustration has taken from me my desire to get out and...
    lavendersea lavendersea 41-45, F 2 Responses Feb 4

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    Odd situation I find myself in. Focus on your happiness, I say. And so I have. It is rich and true and I feel grounded in the realest sense once more. Like I could never be...
    justNIK justNIK 41-45, F Feb 8

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    Thinking its time to turn my life around, not going to lie I struggle everyday, and I know at this point the only thing that will change the path Im on is, turning to God, Im not...
    Shananigins Shananigins 22-25, F 1 Response Feb 12

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    scared to sleep at night.. i close my eyes to go to sleep.. and right when i shut them, i pass out for a some seconds. I feel fearful and so i try to open my eyes but they feel...
    africanbeauty01 africanbeauty01 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 12

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    scared to sleep at night.. i close my eyes to go to sleep.. and right when i shut them, i pass out for a some seconds. I feel fearful and so i try to open my eyes but they feel...
    africanbeauty01 africanbeauty01 18-21, F Feb 12

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    I think it started with my home life. My sister called me a **** for wanting to wear a skirt to school. My dad called me a pig at age 5 because I left a plate on the table. My mom...
    semirelatableteen semirelatableteen 13-15, F Feb 10

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    Another sleepless night I find myself in, my thoughts will not give me peace
    fadedmind fadedmind 26-30, M 3 days ago

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    Dear World, I am aware that there is no such thing as 'true love', that happiness comes through hard work, and that for most, the harsh reality of 'settling down' is just another...
    buzzingbee buzzingbee 26-30, F Feb 16

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    It's interesting, being in a group of friends who also have DID. Our alters have found love in one another and there are at least two within me, paired up with two alters of the...
    AScarletDream AScarletDream 22-25, T 1 Response Feb 17

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    I've never had much in life, just the temporary company of a few valuable friends that slowly drifted away within time and well, my small family. I hardly, rarely find myself truly...
    WarriorLEHP WarriorLEHP 18-21, F Feb 11

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