I Group For Parents of Estranged Children

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 442 People

    Well this is my 1st time to post anything like

    this.... I have a 19 year old son that has deleted me out of his life. I have been the parent that he always came to when he needed anything. I am the one that comforted him when he needed it. Anyways to make a long story short my ex and I divorced 10 years ago he ended up...
    doodles76 doodles76
    36-40, F
    Oct 4, 2014

    Hi im new here I was in a domestic violence

    marriage fir 23 yrs & did the best i could for my daughter Im 20 yrs out of that marriage & with a great man for 12 yrs & my dtr still us angry with me for not getting out sooner & ruining her life She cant have a decent romantic relationship & its all my fault I even did...
    oceanlady999 oceanlady999
    66-70, F
    1 Response Apr 23, 2015

    We have lost two of our adult children to death

    and the last two have rejected us. I was a mother to four children and worked hard along with their dad to make their lives comfortable. When they left home we help them out as much as we could, without emptying our pockets. The oldest son was murdered twenty one years ago...
    djc64 djc64
    66-70, F
    2 Responses Dec 3, 2014

    January is the hardest month

    for me. My daughter was 15 when she decided to stop coming over. She decided to stop speaking to me. The she blew off our family Christmas. Then her 16th birthday. I go back to the last time we we're together. We had a stupid argument during a drive her to her dad's house...
    sadmom68 sadmom68
    46-50, F
    1 Response Jan 9, 2015

    My son had a psychotic episode at 18

    and then suddenly rejected me and cut me off his life. He went to live with my ex wife with whom until then I had a good relationship. She turned against me, took his side and had not seen him again for 4 years and counting. My other son didn't like this and came to live with me...
    Lelou11 Lelou11
    51-55, M
    Apr 16

    Help, Is There Anybody Out There?

    I would like to start some type of group for adults who have estranged children. I am curious if I am the only one. I am looking for peoplewho did not cause this rift because of their own behavior ( such as abuse, drug and alcohol problems, mental illness, extreme political or...
    bluejay2fly bluejay2fly
    41-45, M
    26 Responses Feb 21, 2012

    My son also married a woman

    that is extremely controlling and doesn't want him to have a relationship with his family and friends anymore now that she is in his life. They allowed her parents to live with them for a while, but don't anymore. He no longer talks to any of his friends or his only sibling...
    PeaceAndHappinessFirst PeaceAndHappinessFirst
    51-55, F
    2 Responses Sep 24, 2014

    Some quotes I found that I think may help some

    parents understand their child's estrangement better. Not posting to be mean but to try to show the other side of the coin so there can be a bit of understanding and maybe a reflection of what could have lead to the estrangement. - It's been an accepted thing for a long time...
    Violet22 Violet22
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Jan 14, 2015

    I just signed up to the Experience Project.

    Yes, i am apprehensive, given I have, to date, not been very open or sharing, regarding my estrangement from my adult children. I suppose I am concerned about being judged, more than anything else. Truth is, I am feeling lost and have no idea how to move forward. I have had...
    SoftWalker2 SoftWalker2
    66-70, M
    Dec 19, 2015

    I'm estranged from my adult son

    and grand kids for almost 6 years. I thought it would get easier but it is only getting harder. It effects every aspect of my life. I feel so broken and have tried everything to mend our relationship and for no apparent reason he won't speak to me. His wife does not like me...
    missmellow missmellow
    51-55
    6 Responses Jun 3, 2015

    My daughter age 28 has 5 kids.

    I know she is overwhelmed. I try to keep in touch but she goes through phases where she doesn't call for weeks even up to a month. We have had to help her financially for about 9 years. She is my only daughter and we used to be closer. It breaks my heart that she doesn't call...
    pattykake01 pattykake01
    51-55, F
    2 Responses Nov 23, 2014

    I have an obsessive personality – first it

    was, well, not sure, but there have been Reese cup obsessions, green-tea lattes, saving animals, fighting oppression. I was especially obsessed with my daughter. I loved her beyond the definitions of the word. I knew she was special since the time she grew inside of me. At 2...
    IamAnIslands IamAnIslands
    46-50, F
    1 Response Oct 31, 2015

    I have posted here before.

    I have been estranged from my only daughter for some time now, and have no contact with my grandchildren. I had been following my own advice: trying to focus on other areas of my life and interests, trying to accept that which I cannot change, and be understanding of her...
    Tiralynn Tiralynn
    61-65, F
    4 Responses Jul 22, 2015

    My 39 Year Old Daughter Won't Have Anything To Do With Me And It Hurts Like He**

    My adult daughter and her kids came to visit frome overseas and in 2 weeks I did something so terrible she won't have anything to do with me. She won't tell me what I did and I have no idea what it was.   I paid for her trip over and paid for everything while she was here...
    Angel1948 Angel1948
    61-65, F
    3 Responses Jan 15, 2011

    Estranged Adult Child

    I am the mother of an estranged adult child who I have not seen in three years.  I am hoping to reach out to other parents are experiencing this painful experience to share and to support one another.
    atshemi atshemi
    56-60
    97 Responses Mar 19, 2009

    I've been reading the book "Abandoned Parents:

    The Devil's Dilemma: The Causes and Consequences of Adult Children Abandoning Their Parents" by the author Sharon A. Wildey. This book has put this whole issue of being estranged, abandoned, and ostracized by the daughters that I've loved with all my heart in the correct light...
    MuchStrongerNow MuchStrongerNow
    61-65, F
    1 Response Jan 8, 2015

    Heartbroken Over My Only Child

    Hi, I am new on here and have been struggling with being estanged from my only child, a daughter who is almost 20 now. I got divorced when she was 5 and we had an unusual arrangement (we had joint custody but she lived with me for a week and then with her father for a week). I...
    Deedee501 Deedee501
    56-60, F
    1 Response Mar 1, 2013

    My 21-year-old daughter

    and I had a terrible falling out over a personal email I read that she received from a married man. I read the email without her consent and I became upset because it contained some very graphic perverse language. I know I should not have read the email. I have since apologised...
    ItalianMoma ItalianMoma
    56-60, F
    3 Responses Jul 27, 2015

    I am new to this forum

    and surprised to see there are many parents out there who are estranged from their children. My situation is not complete estrangement, but I am not included much in my two boys' lives. The hurt I feel is so heart wrenching especially when I see the close relationship they...
    Imagemaker630 Imagemaker630
    61-65, F
    3 Responses Aug 17, 2014

    I am at a loss as to what to say.

    I know I was not a perfect parent, no one is. I was struggling with my own abandonment issues and the trauma of my childhood. I did not know how to be a "good parent" as I never had good role models. But I was not an evil parent either. I didn't drink, didn't do drugs, didn't...
    fairynana fairynana
    56-60, F
    2 Responses Apr 9, 2015

    He'S 35 Today

    I work nights so at times dates get away from me...but this morning as I was doing my paperwork the date jumped out at me like a coiled spring. My oldest son's birthday is today...he's 35 years old...my God how the time flies by. My son has had nothing to do with me since he...
    rzncne61 rzncne61
    61-65
    2 Responses Apr 24, 2013

    I'm don't even know where to start

    but I have a son who is almost 22 years old. I had him when I was 17. His father and I got married and had 3 more children after him then divorced after 11 years together. We should have never gotten married to begin with. My 22 year old was effected the most and has always...
    Momto6kids Momto6kids
    36-40, F
    1 Response May 26, 2015

    2 Daughters Who Ignore Me (mom)

    We aren't estranged but almost. I have 2 adult daughters (ages 45 & 40) who still act like teenagers around me. I thought it would change when they became moms. Much of the time they simply ignore my e-mails, phone calls, etc. or answer a week or longer later. The oldest daughter...
    michelephoto michelephoto
    66-70, F
    4 Responses Jun 22, 2012

    I have been estranged from my 37 year old son,

    only child, for about ten years. Reconciliation is doubtful. Twelve years ago, his friends embezzled my fledgling company. Though I was unable to obtain a conviction, I gained a 160,000.00 judgment. First, while they were stealing from me, he made up excuses, resulting in...
    Writer4kids Writer4kids
    61-65, F
    3 Responses Dec 23, 2013

    Half a year ago that my son

    and dl started lying about me and my husband to DL parents.For33 yaers always behind him good or bad and now his ........ I am sorry I feel it would be better if he was dead then estranged.Sorry but I feel so so hurt.Have you ever felt like this????????
    edithsimon edithsimon
    61-65, F
    1 Response Aug 18, 2015

    I'm not altogether sure we are supposed to have

    lifetime intimate relationships with our children. I am estranged from my son AGAIN for the seventh time. He is 46 yrs old. I have always left the door open for him to waltz back into my life as if he never left. He may find that more difficult this time as I have changed. I no...
    Ub12 Ub12
    61-65, F
    5 Responses Sep 19, 2014

    Cruel Son

    Our son is in his late twenties,engaged,working,and up until a year ago was the light of our life.  All this changed when my husband who had just had a triple bypass,said he could not use our ski boat for a holiday.  Well the **** hit the fan, which to be honest we did expect...
    1479A 1479A
    51-55, F
    9 Responses May 1, 2011

    I have not seen my 24 YO daughter in 10 months.

    her and I were always so close. She is my only child and family and I am her only family. I raised her alone since she was 5 months old, she barely knows her Dad and he is negative and my family is estranged, the few times they have been there have been abusive, My daughter...
    Dee01056 Dee01056
    56-60, F
    1 Response Sep 7, 2015

    hello, i am sort of a newbie here.

    i believe i have posted here about a year ago and i never was able to get back on to it because i just am not computer saavy. so i will write my story again and hope you all can hang with me. I have 2sons. The older one is my bio son and the younger one we adopted at the age...
    hikerfriend hikerfriend
    51-55, F
    3 Responses Apr 28, 2015

    My Oldest Son Has Cut Off All Contact With His Family

    When this happens to a mom, it is humiliating, depressing and you feel so alone. Never would i have imagined others have and are going through this or that there is a group dedicated to us victims. So, thank you. My oldest son is now 23 and in the Army stationed in another state...
    LisaAJ LisaAJ
    46-50, F
    6 Responses Nov 20, 2013

    My adult children are treating me

    so abominably, it's shocking. After years of trying to heal this extremely dysfunction family (family counseling--alone--for 18 years), I now understand where I went wrong: I had been placing my children ahead of God. "Honor thy children" is not found in the 10 Commandments...
    5THCommandment 5THCommandment
    66-70, F
    3 Responses Sep 8, 2014

    I created a brand new website called Choose

    Your Parents which was created to help you find the ideal relationship to support you as an adult child or parent. Instead of struggling along trying to make it work with your birth parents or adult children, why not find the relationship that helps you grow or motivates you...
    jsw548 jsw548
    51-55, M
    Apr 3

    My son is 33yrs and he has blanked me

    since he met his wife. He has caused me much pain and sleepless nights, I've had counselling and I take anti depressants. Is this what is meant by the "Individualist society" he became egoistical, and disrespectful / narcissistic. I find it cruel the way he ignores my letters...
    Merecat Merecat
    61-65, F
    4 Responses Feb 7, 2015

    Abandoned

    It's late, I'm alone and despondent, I weep for my son. I miss him dearly and don't understand why he abandoned me, his dad, his brother, whole family, home. What can he be thinking? We had a good life, we supported his music efforts, scouting, friends. We took vacations, we...
    Beaner59 Beaner59
    46-50, F
    29 Responses Sep 8, 2009

    Update

    Dear Friends, For the most part I have accepted being the outsider in my 2 grown daughter's lives. My 4 grandchildren make it worthwhile. But sometimes I still feel afresh the PAIN &/or anger at their mostly ignoring behavior. To be honest, I think once their sickly Dad dies...
    michelephoto michelephoto
    66-70, F
    Sep 22, 2013

    We divorced when my son was less

    than 2. I tried to be graceful about it and coparent, but as my son got older, he thought that everything I did was wrong, and I could do nothing right. I lost him somewhere around 13, he's 18 now. It breaks my heart how things have turned out and I don't know what to do. I've...
    rquinet rquinet
    41-45, F
    1 Response Mar 4, 2015

    How Do I Cope...

    My 18 yr old son refuses to talk to me or see me and I just can't let him go. I'm sure that there are things as a mother that I've done wrong but were they so wrong that he doesn't want me in his life? He's always been on the difficult side. I've always chalked it up to...
    Hrtbrokn Hrtbrokn
    51-55, F
    16 Responses Dec 20, 2010

    I have 2 son's one, the youngest,

    27 years old, is wonderful, loving, caring and we love and support each other. However my oldest son, 34 years old, has been cold, distant, uncaring and just plain mean for the last 10 years. But in all honesty he was difficult as a teen also, at the time I thought no biggie...
    hardworkingmom88 hardworkingmom88
    51-55, F
    1 Response Jan 2, 2015

    My son wrote me a message today.

    It seems he wants to " letting bygones be bygones." But he has certain "conditions" attached to his peace offering. 1. No talk about God or religion. 2. No calling him "honey" or "dear." 3. He doesn't want to reminisce. The past wasn't pleasant for him. 4. No treating his wife...
    Harley53 Harley53
    61-65, F
    2 Responses Apr 26, 2015

    I have twins who are 30

    and one of them has not spoken to me for several months. The stress between us began when she continued to live at home (with few boundaries) after college graduation. She was working but still borrowing money from us, her room was a cyclone, she was a party person, and there...
    PBA12 PBA12
    61-65, F
    1 Response Mar 17

    Hope For The Future

    Dear Parents and Fellow Children Rearing Disappointed I struggle with this on a daily basis. What did I do wrong and what could I have done differently? Really, it comes down to this. Think back to being in you 20s and 30s. All of the dreams and expectations for life. I do...
    bonnie1234567 bonnie1234567
    46-50
    7 Responses Aug 8, 2013

    I moved 16 times in a total of 21 years of

    marriage. I see a domestic violence counselor, who helped me identify who my ex is; he is a narcissist and a parent alienator. He groomed my children into the idea of the divorce, as they looked for an apartment all of them together. I had no idea, so was blindsided when he...
    jcomnibus jcomnibus
    46-50, F
    Dec 22, 2015

    Both Son And Daughter Have Decided To Stop Talking To Me.

    I had and raised a son and daughter.  Both are married and have families of their own.  I was very close with my son, his wife and their 4 children.  Babysat and the 4 grandkids all the time.  My son and his wife hit a BIG Road Block in their lives. His wife moved to Oregon...
    cadyempr cadyempr
    56-60, F
    2 Responses Aug 16, 2011

    It's taken me five years to accept,

    despite all the hurt that's been dished out, how little I mean to my son, and how superfluous I clearly am. I've got the message. I didn't want to believe it so I just kept on trying to be part of his life. It's been tough though and have been made to feel like the outsider...
    CosimaMcDonald CosimaMcDonald
    61-65, F
    3 Responses Apr 30, 2014

    A Family History Of Estrangement

    As I read other stories of estrangement, I see that in many families there is a history of estrangement. In mine, my sister walked away and also one of my uncles. I wonder if there is a genetic predisposition.
    felicita felicita
    66-70, F
    8 Responses May 6, 2010

    Working At Having Self Respect

    I feel the pain of all parents whose children don't want them in their lives.  I have one child......a son.  He's now 42.  I took him out of my first marriage.......an abusive marriage..... before he was even two years old because I could see how badly it was...
    polgal333 polgal333
    66-70
    10 Responses May 24, 2010

    We Stopped Financial Support And Our 26 Year Old Has Cut Off Contact

    Our daughter is an intelligent, often charming, capable young woman who chose the field of art history for her profession.  For undergrad studies in the midwest she graduated at the top of her class, worked several jobs at school to help support herself and was awarded a...
    heartlandhannah heartlandhannah
    51-55, F
    3 Responses Jun 5, 2012

    I found this site and have hesitated

    for months about joining. I have been estranged from my only child. I got married at 20 and had my beautiful daughter. When the abuse in the marriage started, I and my baby fled to Florida, several states away from my home, and we hid for two years while seeking a divorce...
    Tiralynn Tiralynn
    61-65, F
    2 Responses May 28, 2015

    Just Bummed

    I had a fantastic relationship with my daughter all the years she was growing up. She is 30 now and though she lives two miles away and has been to my house maybe 4 times in two years. I go to her and her partner's house if I am invited. She has a non-profit that, unless I am...
    pmynx pmynx
    56-60, F
    1 Response Nov 11, 2013

    My situation is pretty much like others here.

    27 years ago, I was in an abusive relationship when I found out I was pregnant with my son. It wasn't until then that I realized his father was a alcoholic (he hid it well only drinking at night). So, when I was six months pregnant I decided to leave him- a decision I never...
    SharonanJay SharonanJay
    46-50, F
    Jul 25, 2015

    I never claimed to be the perfect parent.

    I have made my share of mistakes. My oldest daughter was born when I was a teenager. My husband's family insisted we get married, which was a huge mistake from the beginning. My husband was very spoiled by his domineering mother and saw my daughter as competition. After we...
    SSBroken SSBroken
    46-50, F
    Feb 6
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