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I Group For Parents of Estranged Children

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 408 People

    Just Bummed

    I had a fantastic relationship with my daughter all the years she was growing up. She is 30 now and though she lives two miles away and has been to my house maybe 4 times in two years. I go to her and her partner's house if I am invited. She has a non-profit that, unless I am...
    pmynx pmynx 56-60, F 2 Responses Nov 11, 2013

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    Lost My Daughter

    I guess it might seem a little extreme saying ,lost my daughter. But in all reality I think Sometimes that she is gone forever in one way or another. I've done a lot of research and in the least ,unless there is a miracle It could be years. I could be very detailed but I will be...
    Tohopeto Tohopeto 51-55 1 Response Mar 2, 2012

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    I am new to this forum

    and surprised to see there are many parents out there who are estranged from their children. My situation is not complete estrangement, but I am not included much in my two boys' lives. The hurt I feel is so heart wrenching especially when I see the close relationship they...
    Imagemaker630 Imagemaker630 56-60, F 3 Responses Aug 17, 2014

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    I haven't spoken to my 32 year old son in 4

    years. I still cry about it, especially during the month of the "sentinel" event. I still can't believe it actually happened. We'd had a good relationship, he'd been my 5:30 am company when we both got up for him for high school me work. We'd watch sports center, he'd always...
    confusedinmanyways confusedinmanyways 56-60, F 2 Responses Aug 30, 2014

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    Estranged Adult Child

    I am the mother of an estranged adult child who I have not seen in three years.  I am hoping to reach out to other parents are experiencing this painful experience to share and to support one another.
    atshemi atshemi 56-60 97 Responses Mar 19, 2009

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    It's taken me five years to accept,

    despite all the hurt that's been dished out, how little I mean to my son, and how superfluous I clearly am. I've got the message. I didn't want to believe it so I just kept on trying to be part of his life. It's been tough though and have been made to feel like the outsider...
    CosimaMcDonald CosimaMcDonald 61-65, F 3 Responses Apr 30, 2014

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    I love this... SO SAD,

    BUT SO TRUE Mom, I Want You To Meet The Girl Who Will One Day Make Me Put You In A Nursing Home Commentary• Opinion• ISSUE 47•42• Oct 18, 2011 By Paul Norris I've got some exciting news, Mom. You know how you're always telling me to stop fooling around and settle...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Apr 20, 2014

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    I'm not altogether sure we are supposed to have

    lifetime intimate relationships with our children. I am estranged from my son AGAIN for the seventh time. He is 46 yrs old. I have always left the door open for him to waltz back into my life as if he never left. He may find that more difficult this time as I have changed. I no...
    Ub12 Ub12 61-65, F 6 Responses Sep 19, 2014

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    We Stopped Financial Support And Our 26 Year Old Has Cut Off Contact

    Our daughter is an intelligent, often charming, capable young woman who chose the field of art history for her profession.  For undergrad studies in the midwest she graduated at the top of her class, worked several jobs at school to help support herself and was awarded a...
    heartlandhannah heartlandhannah 51-55, F 3 Responses Jun 5, 2012

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    My son is 33yrs and he has blanked me

    since he met his wife. He has caused me much pain and sleepless nights, I've had counselling and I take anti depressants. Is this what is meant by the "Individualist society" he became egoistical, and disrespectful / narcissistic. I find it cruel the way he ignores my letters...
    Merecat Merecat 61-65, F 3 Responses Feb 7

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    I'm estranged from my adult son

    and grand kids for almost 6 years. I thought it would get easier but it is only getting harder. It effects every aspect of my life. I feel so broken and have tried everything to mend our relationship and for no apparent reason he won't speak to me. His wife does not like me...
    missmellow missmellow 51-55 4 Responses Jun 3

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    Both Son And Daughter Have Decided To Stop Talking To Me.

    I had and raised a son and daughter.  Both are married and have families of their own.  I was very close with my son, his wife and their 4 children.  Babysat and the 4 grandkids all the time.  My son and his wife hit a BIG Road Block in their lives. His wife moved to Oregon...
    cadyempr cadyempr 56-60, F 2 Responses Aug 16, 2011

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    2 Daughters Who Ignore Me (mom)

    We aren't estranged but almost. I have 2 adult daughters (ages 45 & 40) who still act like teenagers around me. I thought it would change when they became moms. Much of the time they simply ignore my e-mails, phone calls, etc. or answer a week or longer later. The oldest daughter...
    michelephoto michelephoto 66-70, F 4 Responses Jun 22, 2012

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    Some quotes I found that I think may help some

    parents understand their child's estrangement better. Not posting to be mean but to try to show the other side of the coin so there can be a bit of understanding and maybe a reflection of what could have lead to the estrangement. - It's been an accepted thing for a long time...
    Violet22 Violet22 26-30, F 1 Response Jan 14

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    We divorced when my son was less

    than 2. I tried to be graceful about it and coparent, but as my son got older, he thought that everything I did was wrong, and I could do nothing right. I lost him somewhere around 13, he's 18 now. It breaks my heart how things have turned out and I don't know what to do. I've...
    rquinet rquinet 41-45, F Mar 4

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    Cruel Son

    Our son is in his late twenties,engaged,working,and up until a year ago was the light of our life.  All this changed when my husband who had just had a triple bypass,said he could not use our ski boat for a holiday.  Well the **** hit the fan, which to be honest we did expect...
    1479A 1479A 51-55, F 8 Responses May 1, 2011

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    My daughter age 28 has 5 kids.

    I know she is overwhelmed. I try to keep in touch but she goes through phases where she doesn't call for weeks even up to a month. We have had to help her financially for about 9 years. She is my only daughter and we used to be closer. It breaks my heart that she doesn't call...
    pattykake01 pattykake01 46-50, F 1 Response Nov 23, 2014

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    Heartbroken Over My Only Child

    Hi, I am new on here and have been struggling with being estanged from my only child, a daughter who is almost 20 now. I got divorced when she was 5 and we had an unusual arrangement (we had joint custody but she lived with me for a week and then with her father for a week). I...
    Deedee501 Deedee501 51-55, F 1 Response Mar 1, 2013

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    From The Perspective Of The Child

    Children are emotionally bonded to their parents. For the estrangement to have happened, something must have gone very very wrong. In my case, I was subject to horrific abuse by my father. I still remember, on Sunday afternoons, he would kick his shoe hard at us until we become...
    Cantrelax Cantrelax 31-35 3 Responses Feb 20, 2013

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    I have a 28 year old daughter

    who I haven't seen for over 2 years - she has cut off all contact with our family. I can't really talk about it right now. It is too hard to go there. I am just glad that I saw this post about Group for Parents of Estranged Children - I am part of this group. I am not ready...
    tryingagainII tryingagainII 56-60, M 2 Responses Nov 7, 2014

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    We have lost two of our adult children to death

    and the last two have rejected us. I was a mother to four children and worked hard along with their dad to make their lives comfortable. When they left home we help them out as much as we could, without emptying our pockets. The oldest son was murdered twenty one years ago...
    djc64 djc64 66-70, F 2 Responses Dec 3, 2014

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    My Oldest Son Has Cut Off All Contact With His Family

    When this happens to a mom, it is humiliating, depressing and you feel so alone. Never would i have imagined others have and are going through this or that there is a group dedicated to us victims. So, thank you. My oldest son is now 23 and in the Army stationed in another state...
    LisaAJ LisaAJ 41-45, F 7 Responses Nov 20, 2013

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    My son is 28. I raised him on my own

    as a single mom, I always worked very hard to give him a good life, we had a house, he had a good education, food, clothes and we even had horses because I wanted to do "outdoor" things with him too, not just girly things. My son wanted to start a music career at age 16, and...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Apr 14, 2014

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    My son wrote me a message today.

    It seems he wants to " letting bygones be bygones." But he has certain "conditions" attached to his peace offering. 1. No talk about God or religion. 2. No calling him "honey" or "dear." 3. He doesn't want to reminisce. The past wasn't pleasant for him. 4. No treating his wife...
    Harley53 Harley53 61-65, F 2 Responses Apr 26

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    I am at a loss as to what to say.

    I know I was not a perfect parent, no one is. I was struggling with my own abandonment issues and the trauma of my childhood. I did not know how to be a "good parent" as I never had good role models. But I was not an evil parent either. I didn't drink, didn't do drugs, didn't...
    fairynana fairynana 56-60, F 3 Responses Apr 9

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    Minimal Contact With Son For Three Years

    My son is 21. I got divorced 8 years ago . Left because the marriage was dismal and I was incredibly depressed. Got involved with the love of my life, but way too quickly. It muddied up the waters for sure, but I am incredibly happy now with him. My son had always had issues...
    ibabble ibabble 41-45, F 18 Responses May 12, 2010

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    Abandoned

    It's late, I'm alone and despondent, I weep for my son. I miss him dearly and don't understand why he abandoned me, his dad, his brother, whole family, home. What can he be thinking? We had a good life, we supported his music efforts, scouting, friends. We took vacations, we...
    Beaner59 Beaner59 46-50, F 27 Responses Sep 8, 2009

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    Working At Having Self Respect

    I feel the pain of all parents whose children don't want them in their lives.  I have one child......a son.  He's now 42.  I took him out of my first marriage.......an abusive marriage..... before he was even two years old because I could see how badly it was...
    polgal333 polgal333 66-70 10 Responses May 24, 2010

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    I adopted 2 sons and my oldest son

    and he has reactive attachment disorder. he was fine as a child and when he hit middle school he got with the wrong crowd, didnt do his homework, took people's phones to look at bad things, stole money, I had to go after school with him to do his school work, he lost jobs for...
    MonicaOlivia69 MonicaOlivia69 41-45, F Apr 9, 2014

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    January is the hardest month

    for me. My daughter was 15 when she decided to stop coming over. She decided to stop speaking to me. The she blew off our family Christmas. Then her 16th birthday. I go back to the last time we we're together. We had a stupid argument during a drive her to her dad's house...
    sadmom68 sadmom68 46-50, F Jan 9

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    Hi im new here I was in a domestic violence

    marriage fir 23 yrs & did the best i could for my daughter Im 20 yrs out of that marriage & with a great man for 12 yrs & my dtr still us angry with me for not getting out sooner & ruining her life She cant have a decent romantic relationship & its all my fault I even did...
    oceanlady999 oceanlady999 61-65, F Apr 23

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    He'S 35 Today

    I work nights so at times dates get away from me...but this morning as I was doing my paperwork the date jumped out at me like a coiled spring. My oldest son's birthday is today...he's 35 years old...my God how the time flies by. My son has had nothing to do with me since he...
    rzncne61 rzncne61 61-65 2 Responses Apr 24, 2013

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    I have twin girls born in 1988.

    My marriage was highly abusive and after 7 years I had to get out. I had custody until they were 13 then because of a comment that was disrespectful made by the oldest twin to me I slapped at her meaning to pop her mouth but I missed. I felt horrible about it and apologized and...
    trish03 trish03 51-55, F 2 Responses Jul 11, 2014

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    Why Are We Hurting So Bad

    As I'm reading these posts I'm beginning to realize the pain of all these parents. Especially moms. Whether it's 1 year, 5, 10, 20 years it seems the pain is always the same. Why can't we just heal? Maybe we need to realize that these adult children are selfish and narcissistic...
    janine407 janine407 51-55, F 2 Responses Oct 6, 2013

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    Update

    Dear Friends, For the most part I have accepted being the outsider in my 2 grown daughter's lives. My 4 grandchildren make it worthwhile. But sometimes I still feel afresh the PAIN &/or anger at their mostly ignoring behavior. To be honest, I think once their sickly Dad dies...
    michelephoto michelephoto 66-70, F Sep 22, 2013

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    My adult children are treating me

    so abominably, it's shocking. After years of trying to heal this extremely dysfunction family (family counseling--alone--for 18 years), I now understand where I went wrong: I had been placing my children ahead of God. "Honor thy children" is not found in the 10 Commandments...
    5THCommandment 5THCommandment 61-65, F 4 Responses Sep 8, 2014

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    Have not seen my 37 year old son [only child]

    for 5 + years. My heart feels bruised and I am so sad. Sometimes I can be driving to the supermarket and the tears will be rolling down my face. He wont tell me why. Sometimes the sadness is so intense, made worse by the fact that it is something so hard to share with others
    carriejust carriejust 56-60, F 4 Responses Aug 15, 2014

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    My 39 Year Old Daughter Won't Have Anything To Do With Me And It Hurts Like He**

    My adult daughter and her kids came to visit frome overseas and in 2 weeks I did something so terrible she won't have anything to do with me. She won't tell me what I did and I have no idea what it was.   I paid for her trip over and paid for everything while she was here...
    Angel1948 Angel1948 61-65, F 4 Responses Jan 15, 2011

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    I've been reading the book "Abandoned Parents:

    The Devil's Dilemma: The Causes and Consequences of Adult Children Abandoning Their Parents" by the author Sharon A. Wildey. This book has put this whole issue of being estranged, abandoned, and ostracized by the daughters that I've loved with all my heart in the correct light...
    MuchStrongerNow MuchStrongerNow 56-60, F 2 Responses Jan 8

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    hello, i am sort of a newbie here.

    i believe i have posted here about a year ago and i never was able to get back on to it because i just am not computer saavy. so i will write my story again and hope you all can hang with me. I have 2sons. The older one is my bio son and the younger one we adopted at the age...
    hikerfriend hikerfriend 51-55, F 2 Responses Apr 28

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    I have 2 son's one, the youngest,

    27 years old, is wonderful, loving, caring and we love and support each other. However my oldest son, 34 years old, has been cold, distant, uncaring and just plain mean for the last 10 years. But in all honesty he was difficult as a teen also, at the time I thought no biggie...
    hardworkingmom88 hardworkingmom88 51-55, F Jan 2

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    Help, Is There Anybody Out There?

    I would like to start some type of group for adults who have estranged children. I am curious if I am the only one. I am looking for peoplewho did not cause this rift because of their own behavior ( such as abuse, drug and alcohol problems, mental illness, extreme political or...
    bluejay2fly bluejay2fly 41-45, M 24 Responses Feb 21, 2012

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    Happy Mothers Day!

    I am New here but I wanted to post Happy Mothers Day to everyone like me who gave birth to children who turned out to be mean little Heathens in abandoning us. Am I Angry? Yes.  Am I Hurt? Alot..       I will soon post my story. But Happy Mothers Day Anyway!
    Lonestar777 Lonestar777 46-50, F 3 Responses May 13, 2012

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    A Family History Of Estrangement

    As I read other stories of estrangement, I see that in many families there is a history of estrangement. In mine, my sister walked away and also one of my uncles. I wonder if there is a genetic predisposition.
    felicita felicita 66-70, F 8 Responses May 6, 2010

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    I have been estranged from my 37 year old son,

    only child, for about ten years. Reconciliation is doubtful. Twelve years ago, his friends embezzled my fledgling company. Though I was unable to obtain a conviction, I gained a 160,000.00 judgment. First, while they were stealing from me, he made up excuses, resulting in...
    Writer4kids Writer4kids 56-60, F 3 Responses Dec 23, 2013

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    Well this is my 1st time to post anything like

    this.... I have a 19 year old son that has deleted me out of his life. I have been the parent that he always came to when he needed anything. I am the one that comforted him when he needed it. Anyways to make a long story short my ex and I divorced 10 years ago he ended up...
    doodles76 doodles76 36-40, F 1 Response Oct 4, 2014

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