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I Group For Parents of Estranged Children

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 386 People

    2 Daughters Who Ignore Me (mom)

    We aren't estranged but almost. I have 2 adult daughters (ages 45 & 40) who still act like teenagers around me. I thought it would change when they became moms. Much of the time they simply ignore my e-mails, phone calls, etc. or answer a week or longer later. The oldest daughter...
    michelephoto michelephoto 66-70, F 4 Responses Jun 22, 2012

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    My son is 33yrs and he has blanked me

    since he met his wife. He has caused me much pain and sleepless nights, I've had counselling and I take anti depressants. Is this what is meant by the "Individualist society" he became egoistical, and disrespectful / narcissistic. I find it cruel the way he ignores my letters...
    Merecat Merecat 61-65, F Feb 7

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    A Family History Of Estrangement

    As I read other stories of estrangement, I see that in many families there is a history of estrangement. In mine, my sister walked away and also one of my uncles. I wonder if there is a genetic predisposition.
    felicita felicita 66-70, F 8 Responses May 6, 2010

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    My adult children are treating me

    so abominably, it's shocking. After years of trying to heal this extremely dysfunction family (family counseling--alone--for 18 years), I now understand where I went wrong: I had been placing my children ahead of God. "Honor thy children" is not found in the 10 Commandments...
    5THCommandment 5THCommandment 61-65, F 3 Responses Sep 8, 2014

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    I have twin girls born in 1988.

    My marriage was highly abusive and after 7 years I had to get out. I had custody until they were 13 then because of a comment that was disrespectful made by the oldest twin to me I slapped at her meaning to pop her mouth but I missed. I felt horrible about it and apologized and...
    trish03 trish03 51-55, F 2 Responses Jul 11, 2014

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    I've always had a strained relationship with my

    daughter. I divorced her dad when she was around 5 and thought I was a very responsible single parent. Her dad was very much a part of her life and at a young age she had problems with jealously when it came to her half sister. My daughter always looked down and removed when...
    courageousmom courageousmom 66-70, F Apr 5, 2014

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    Well this is my 1st time to post anything like

    this.... I have a 19 year old son that has deleted me out of his life. I have been the parent that he always came to when he needed anything. I am the one that comforted him when he needed it. Anyways to make a long story short my ex and I divorced 10 years ago he ended up...
    doodles76 doodles76 36-40, F 1 Response Oct 4, 2014

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    Some quotes I found that I think may help some

    parents understand their child's estrangement better. Not posting to be mean but to try to show the other side of the coin so there can be a bit of understanding and maybe a reflection of what could have lead to the estrangement. - It's been an accepted thing for a long time...
    Violet22 Violet22 26-30, F 1 Response Jan 14

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    I love this... SO SAD,

    BUT SO TRUE Mom, I Want You To Meet The Girl Who Will One Day Make Me Put You In A Nursing Home Commentary• Opinion• ISSUE 47•42• Oct 18, 2011 By Paul Norris I've got some exciting news, Mom. You know how you're always telling me to stop fooling around and settle...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Apr 20, 2014

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    I have a 28 year old daughter

    who I haven't seen for over 2 years - she has cut off all contact with our family. I can't really talk about it right now. It is too hard to go there. I am just glad that I saw this post about Group for Parents of Estranged Children - I am part of this group. I am not ready...
    tryingagainII tryingagainII 56-60, M 2 Responses Nov 7, 2014

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    Why Are We Hurting So Bad

    As I'm reading these posts I'm beginning to realize the pain of all these parents. Especially moms. Whether it's 1 year, 5, 10, 20 years it seems the pain is always the same. Why can't we just heal? Maybe we need to realize that these adult children are selfish and narcissistic...
    janine407 janine407 51-55, F 2 Responses Oct 6, 2013

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    I can relate to all of your stories.

    I have 3 children; 18, 15, and 7. My oldest daughter works and goes to school and to the public, is a generally decent person...I feel my raising her has played a significant role in that. I overly spoiled her for many years, due to being a single mom of my older two girls...
    ellemom ellemom 36-40, F Mar 1, 2014

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    Hope For The Future

    Dear Parents and Fellow Children Rearing Disappointed I struggle with this on a daily basis. What did I do wrong and what could I have done differently? Really, it comes down to this. Think back to being in you 20s and 30s. All of the dreams and expectations for life. I do...
    bonnie1234567 bonnie1234567 46-50 7 Responses Aug 8, 2013

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    It's taken me five years to accept,

    despite all the hurt that's been dished out, how little I mean to my son, and how superfluous I clearly am. I've got the message. I didn't want to believe it so I just kept on trying to be part of his life. It's been tough though and have been made to feel like the outsider...
    CosimaMcDonald CosimaMcDonald 61-65, F 3 Responses Apr 30, 2014

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    I have 2 son's one, the youngest,

    27 years old, is wonderful, loving, caring and we love and support each other. However my oldest son, 34 years old, has been cold, distant, uncaring and just plain mean for the last 10 years. But in all honesty he was difficult as a teen also, at the time I thought no biggie...
    hardworkingmom88 hardworkingmom88 51-55, F 1 Response Jan 2

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    I am a single parent of an estranged child

    for over a year now. I hurt and wrack my brain out every day as to what has happened between my daughter and I. She has turned our world upside down and hasnt allowed me one day of tranquility ever since ive been with my boyfriend of 4 years. She';s cold, callous, and...
    saraphim saraphim 41-45, F 5 Responses Feb 19, 2014

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    Our 34 year old daughter always said I was her

    best friend until 5 years ago when she started complaining that we treated her two older brothers better than we treated her. There were a few other complaints, but they always seemed to get back to the same issue. Then five years ago, she asked us to watch her 4 children for...
    3Z7c4 3Z7c4 61-65, F 4 Responses Mar 31, 2014

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    Minimal Contact With Son For Three Years

    My son is 21. I got divorced 8 years ago . Left because the marriage was dismal and I was incredibly depressed. Got involved with the love of my life, but way too quickly. It muddied up the waters for sure, but I am incredibly happy now with him. My son had always had issues...
    ibabble ibabble 41-45, F 18 Responses May 12, 2010

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    I'm not altogether sure we are supposed to have

    lifetime intimate relationships with our children. I am estranged from my son AGAIN for the seventh time. He is 46 yrs old. I have always left the door open for him to waltz back into my life as if he never left. He may find that more difficult this time as I have changed. I no...
    Ub12 Ub12 61-65, F 6 Responses Sep 19, 2014

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    I am new to this forum

    and surprised to see there are many parents out there who are estranged from their children. My situation is not complete estrangement, but I am not included much in my two boys' lives. The hurt I feel is so heart wrenching especially when I see the close relationship they...
    Imagemaker630 Imagemaker630 56-60, F 2 Responses Aug 17, 2014

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    My Oldest Son Has Cut Off All Contact With His Family

    When this happens to a mom, it is humiliating, depressing and you feel so alone. Never would i have imagined others have and are going through this or that there is a group dedicated to us victims. So, thank you. My oldest son is now 23 and in the Army stationed in another state...
    LisaAJ LisaAJ 41-45, F 6 Responses Nov 20, 2013

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    Both Son And Daughter Have Decided To Stop Talking To Me.

    I had and raised a son and daughter.  Both are married and have families of their own.  I was very close with my son, his wife and their 4 children.  Babysat and the 4 grandkids all the time.  My son and his wife hit a BIG Road Block in their lives. His wife moved to Oregon...
    cadyempr cadyempr 56-60, F 2 Responses Aug 16, 2011

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    My daughter age 28 has 5 kids.

    I know she is overwhelmed. I try to keep in touch but she goes through phases where she doesn't call for weeks even up to a month. We have had to help her financially for about 9 years. She is my only daughter and we used to be closer. It breaks my heart that she doesn't call...
    pattykake01 pattykake01 46-50, F 1 Response Nov 23, 2014

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    I have three grown children - two sons

    and a daughter. I have a wonderful relationship with my oldest son and my daughter, but have had a rocky road with my middle son for the past five years or so. We always had a close relationship, but when he cheated on his wife and confided in me that information, things changed...
    separatedandhurt separatedandhurt 56-60, F Feb 11, 2014

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    Just Bummed

    I had a fantastic relationship with my daughter all the years she was growing up. She is 30 now and though she lives two miles away and has been to my house maybe 4 times in two years. I go to her and her partner's house if I am invited. She has a non-profit that, unless I am...
    pmynx pmynx 51-55, F 2 Responses Nov 11, 2013

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    Working At Having Self Respect

    I feel the pain of all parents whose children don't want them in their lives.  I have one child......a son.  He's now 42.  I took him out of my first marriage.......an abusive marriage..... before he was even two years old because I could see how badly it was...
    polgal333 polgal333 66-70 10 Responses May 24, 2010

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    From The Perspective Of The Child

    Children are emotionally bonded to their parents. For the estrangement to have happened, something must have gone very very wrong. In my case, I was subject to horrific abuse by my father. I still remember, on Sunday afternoons, he would kick his shoe hard at us until we become...
    Cantrelax Cantrelax 31-35 3 Responses Feb 20, 2013

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    We Stopped Financial Support And Our 26 Year Old Has Cut Off Contact

    Our daughter is an intelligent, often charming, capable young woman who chose the field of art history for her profession.  For undergrad studies in the midwest she graduated at the top of her class, worked several jobs at school to help support herself and was awarded a...
    heartlandhannah heartlandhannah 51-55, F 3 Responses Jun 5, 2012

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    So Happy To Have Found This Site...

    Hello everyone, I am very happy to have found this site this evening. Many of your stories have given me encouragement. Never in a hundred years would I have thought that I'd be in the position I am now. The pain from the situation that I am in with my adult children is...
    Kathleenelaineb Kathleenelaineb 51-55, F 1 Response Aug 16, 2013

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    Update

    Dear Friends, For the most part I have accepted being the outsider in my 2 grown daughter's lives. My 4 grandchildren make it worthwhile. But sometimes I still feel afresh the PAIN &/or anger at their mostly ignoring behavior. To be honest, I think once their sickly Dad dies...
    michelephoto michelephoto 66-70, F Sep 22, 2013

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    2014...Our story is this,

    it's been a yr now since the CAT 3 storm came to it's final blows in our household, fracturing our family and sending our 2 young adult kids (then 18 & 23) into the nest of meddling relatives who are bent on being their new family and the kids have cut themselves off from us...
    risenfromtheashes risenfromtheashes 41-45 3 Responses May 9, 2014

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    My 39 Year Old Daughter Won't Have Anything To Do With Me And It Hurts Like He**

    My adult daughter and her kids came to visit frome overseas and in 2 weeks I did something so terrible she won't have anything to do with me. She won't tell me what I did and I have no idea what it was.   I paid for her trip over and paid for everything while she was here...
    Angel1948 Angel1948 61-65, F 4 Responses Jan 15, 2011

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    Help, Is There Anybody Out There?

    I would like to start some type of group for adults who have estranged children. I am curious if I am the only one. I am looking for peoplewho did not cause this rift because of their own behavior ( such as abuse, drug and alcohol problems, mental illness, extreme political or...
    bluejay2fly bluejay2fly 41-45, M 22 Responses Feb 21, 2012

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    Have not seen my 37 year old son [only child]

    for 5 + years. My heart feels bruised and I am so sad. Sometimes I can be driving to the supermarket and the tears will be rolling down my face. He wont tell me why. Sometimes the sadness is so intense, made worse by the fact that it is something so hard to share with others
    carriejust carriejust 56-60, F 4 Responses Aug 15, 2014

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    Happy Mothers Day!

    I am New here but I wanted to post Happy Mothers Day to everyone like me who gave birth to children who turned out to be mean little Heathens in abandoning us. Am I Angry? Yes.  Am I Hurt? Alot..       I will soon post my story. But Happy Mothers Day Anyway!
    Lonestar777 Lonestar777 46-50, F 3 Responses May 13, 2012

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    We have lost two of our adult children to death

    and the last two have rejected us. I was a mother to four children and worked hard along with their dad to make their lives comfortable. When they left home we help them out as much as we could, without emptying our pockets. The oldest son was murdered twenty one years ago...
    djc64 djc64 66-70, F 2 Responses Dec 3, 2014

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    About me; I was married

    for 22 years. The first 15 were wonderful. The trouble began when my ex-wife took a managerial position. More money, power over others..... Our relationship detioriated thereafter. 2 years ago, she asked for a divorce. Throughout our marriage I remained faithful. Not a...
    calabriano calabriano 56-60 1 Response Mar 19, 2014

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    Lost My Daughter

    I guess it might seem a little extreme saying ,lost my daughter. But in all reality I think Sometimes that she is gone forever in one way or another. I've done a lot of research and in the least ,unless there is a miracle It could be years. I could be very detailed but I will be...
    Tohopeto Tohopeto 51-55 1 Response Mar 2, 2012

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    I have been estranged from my 37 year old son,

    only child, for about ten years. Reconciliation is doubtful. Twelve years ago, his friends embezzled my fledgling company. Though I was unable to obtain a conviction, I gained a 160,000.00 judgment. First, while they were stealing from me, he made up excuses, resulting in...
    Writer4kids Writer4kids 56-60, F 3 Responses Dec 23, 2013

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    I raised three girls by myself

    for eight years as my husband was a loser. We struggled financially but I eventually found my current husband when the oldest was 9. Needless to say their step dad was strict but my girls all have 2 degrees each and their own mortgage. The problem is with my middle child who...
    5861bold 5861bold 56-60 2 Responses Mar 30, 2014

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    My son is 28. I raised him on my own

    as a single mom, I always worked very hard to give him a good life, we had a house, he had a good education, food, clothes and we even had horses because I wanted to do "outdoor" things with him too, not just girly things. My son wanted to start a music career at age 16, and...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Apr 14, 2014

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    How Do I Cope...

    My 18 yr old son refuses to talk to me or see me and I just can't let him go. I'm sure that there are things as a mother that I've done wrong but were they so wrong that he doesn't want me in his life? He's always been on the difficult side. I've always chalked it up to...
    Hrtbrokn Hrtbrokn 51-55, F 14 Responses Dec 20, 2010

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    January is the hardest month

    for me. My daughter was 15 when she decided to stop coming over. She decided to stop speaking to me. The she blew off our family Christmas. Then her 16th birthday. I go back to the last time we we're together. We had a stupid argument during a drive her to her dad's house...
    sadmom68 sadmom68 46-50, F Jan 9

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    I haven't spoken to my 32 year old son in 4

    years. I still cry about it, especially during the month of the "sentinel" event. I still can't believe it actually happened. We'd had a good relationship, he'd been my 5:30 am company when we both got up for him for high school me work. We'd watch sports center, he'd always...
    confusedinmanyways confusedinmanyways 56-60, F 2 Responses Aug 30, 2014

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    We divorced when my son was less

    than 2. I tried to be graceful about it and coparent, but as my son got older, he thought that everything I did was wrong, and I could do nothing right. I lost him somewhere around 13, he's 18 now. It breaks my heart how things have turned out and I don't know what to do. I've...
    rquinet rquinet 41-45, F Mar 4

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    I've been reading the book "Abandoned Parents:

    The Devil's Dilemma: The Causes and Consequences of Adult Children Abandoning Their Parents" by the author Sharon A. Wildey. This book has put this whole issue of being estranged, abandoned, and ostracized by the daughters that I've loved with all my heart in the correct light...
    MuchStrongerNow MuchStrongerNow 56-60, F 2 Responses Jan 8

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