Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Group For Parents of Estranged Children

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 419 People

    Half a year ago that my son

    and dl started lying about me and my husband to DL parents.For33 yaers always behind him good or bad and now his ........ I am sorry I feel it would be better if he was dead then estranged.Sorry but I feel so so hurt.Have you ever felt like this????????
    edithsimon edithsimon 61-65, F 1 Response Aug 18

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Cruel Son

    Our son is in his late twenties,engaged,working,and up until a year ago was the light of our life.  All this changed when my husband who had just had a triple bypass,said he could not use our ski boat for a holiday.  Well the **** hit the fan, which to be honest we did expect...
    1479A 1479A 51-55, F 8 Responses May 1, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I am new to this forum

    and surprised to see there are many parents out there who are estranged from their children. My situation is not complete estrangement, but I am not included much in my two boys' lives. The hurt I feel is so heart wrenching especially when I see the close relationship they...
    Imagemaker630 Imagemaker630 56-60, F 3 Responses Aug 17, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My 21-year-old daughter

    and I had a terrible falling out over a personal email I read that she received from a married man. I read the email without her consent and I became upset because it contained some very graphic perverse language. I know I should not have read the email. I have since apologised...
    ItalianMoma ItalianMoma 56-60, F 3 Responses Jul 27

    Your Response

    Cancel

    He'S 35 Today

    I work nights so at times dates get away from me...but this morning as I was doing my paperwork the date jumped out at me like a coiled spring. My oldest son's birthday is today...he's 35 years old...my God how the time flies by. My son has had nothing to do with me since he...
    rzncne61 rzncne61 61-65 2 Responses Apr 24, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Update

    Dear Friends, For the most part I have accepted being the outsider in my 2 grown daughter's lives. My 4 grandchildren make it worthwhile. But sometimes I still feel afresh the PAIN &/or anger at their mostly ignoring behavior. To be honest, I think once their sickly Dad dies...
    michelephoto michelephoto 66-70, F Sep 22, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I have 2 son's one, the youngest,

    27 years old, is wonderful, loving, caring and we love and support each other. However my oldest son, 34 years old, has been cold, distant, uncaring and just plain mean for the last 10 years. But in all honesty he was difficult as a teen also, at the time I thought no biggie...
    hardworkingmom88 hardworkingmom88 51-55, F 1 Response Jan 2

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Well this is my 1st time to post anything like

    this.... I have a 19 year old son that has deleted me out of his life. I have been the parent that he always came to when he needed anything. I am the one that comforted him when he needed it. Anyways to make a long story short my ex and I divorced 10 years ago he ended up...
    doodles76 doodles76 36-40, F 1 Response Oct 4, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    We have lost two of our adult children to death

    and the last two have rejected us. I was a mother to four children and worked hard along with their dad to make their lives comfortable. When they left home we help them out as much as we could, without emptying our pockets. The oldest son was murdered twenty one years ago...
    djc64 djc64 66-70, F 2 Responses Dec 3, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My daughter age 28 has 5 kids.

    I know she is overwhelmed. I try to keep in touch but she goes through phases where she doesn't call for weeks even up to a month. We have had to help her financially for about 9 years. She is my only daughter and we used to be closer. It breaks my heart that she doesn't call...
    pattykake01 pattykake01 46-50, F 2 Responses Nov 23, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    2014...Our story is this,

    it's been a yr now since the CAT 3 storm came to it's final blows in our household, fracturing our family and sending our 2 young adult kids (then 18 & 23) into the nest of meddling relatives who are bent on being their new family and the kids have cut themselves off from us...
    risenfromtheashes risenfromtheashes 41-45 3 Responses May 9, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm don't even know where to start

    but I have a son who is almost 22 years old. I had him when I was 17. His father and I got married and had 3 more children after him then divorced after 11 years together. We should have never gotten married to begin with. My 22 year old was effected the most and has always...
    Momto6kids Momto6kids 36-40, F 1 Response May 26

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My son wrote me a message today.

    It seems he wants to " letting bygones be bygones." But he has certain "conditions" attached to his peace offering. 1. No talk about God or religion. 2. No calling him "honey" or "dear." 3. He doesn't want to reminisce. The past wasn't pleasant for him. 4. No treating his wife...
    Harley53 Harley53 61-65, F 2 Responses Apr 26

    Your Response

    Cancel

    We divorced when my son was less

    than 2. I tried to be graceful about it and coparent, but as my son got older, he thought that everything I did was wrong, and I could do nothing right. I lost him somewhere around 13, he's 18 now. It breaks my heart how things have turned out and I don't know what to do. I've...
    rquinet rquinet 41-45, F 1 Response Mar 4

    Your Response

    Cancel

    January is the hardest month

    for me. My daughter was 15 when she decided to stop coming over. She decided to stop speaking to me. The she blew off our family Christmas. Then her 16th birthday. I go back to the last time we we're together. We had a stupid argument during a drive her to her dad's house...
    sadmom68 sadmom68 46-50, F 1 Response Jan 9

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm not altogether sure we are supposed to have

    lifetime intimate relationships with our children. I am estranged from my son AGAIN for the seventh time. He is 46 yrs old. I have always left the door open for him to waltz back into my life as if he never left. He may find that more difficult this time as I have changed. I no...
    Ub12 Ub12 61-65, F 6 Responses Sep 19, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It's taken me five years to accept,

    despite all the hurt that's been dished out, how little I mean to my son, and how superfluous I clearly am. I've got the message. I didn't want to believe it so I just kept on trying to be part of his life. It's been tough though and have been made to feel like the outsider...
    CosimaMcDonald CosimaMcDonald 61-65, F 3 Responses Apr 30, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Have not seen my 37 year old son [only child]

    for 5 + years. My heart feels bruised and I am so sad. Sometimes I can be driving to the supermarket and the tears will be rolling down my face. He wont tell me why. Sometimes the sadness is so intense, made worse by the fact that it is something so hard to share with others
    carriejust carriejust 56-60, F 4 Responses Aug 15, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I am at a loss as to what to say.

    I know I was not a perfect parent, no one is. I was struggling with my own abandonment issues and the trauma of my childhood. I did not know how to be a "good parent" as I never had good role models. But I was not an evil parent either. I didn't drink, didn't do drugs, didn't...
    fairynana fairynana 56-60, F 3 Responses Apr 9

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Hope For The Future

    Dear Parents and Fellow Children Rearing Disappointed I struggle with this on a daily basis. What did I do wrong and what could I have done differently? Really, it comes down to this. Think back to being in you 20s and 30s. All of the dreams and expectations for life. I do...
    bonnie1234567 bonnie1234567 46-50 7 Responses Aug 8, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My son also married a woman

    that is extremely controlling and doesn't want him to have a relationship with his family and friends anymore now that she is in his life. They allowed her parents to live with them for a while, but don't anymore. He no longer talks to any of his friends or his only sibling...
    PeaceAndHappinessFirst PeaceAndHappinessFirst 46-50, F 2 Responses Sep 24, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm estranged from my adult son

    and grand kids for almost 6 years. I thought it would get easier but it is only getting harder. It effects every aspect of my life. I feel so broken and have tried everything to mend our relationship and for no apparent reason he won't speak to me. His wife does not like me...
    missmellow missmellow 51-55 6 Responses Jun 3

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I haven't spoken to my 32 year old son in 4

    years. I still cry about it, especially during the month of the "sentinel" event. I still can't believe it actually happened. We'd had a good relationship, he'd been my 5:30 am company when we both got up for him for high school me work. We'd watch sports center, he'd always...
    confusedinmanyways confusedinmanyways 56-60, F 2 Responses Aug 30, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Abandoned

    It's late, I'm alone and despondent, I weep for my son. I miss him dearly and don't understand why he abandoned me, his dad, his brother, whole family, home. What can he be thinking? We had a good life, we supported his music efforts, scouting, friends. We took vacations, we...
    Beaner59 Beaner59 46-50, F 28 Responses Sep 8, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    How Do I Cope...

    My 18 yr old son refuses to talk to me or see me and I just can't let him go. I'm sure that there are things as a mother that I've done wrong but were they so wrong that he doesn't want me in his life? He's always been on the difficult side. I've always chalked it up to...
    Hrtbrokn Hrtbrokn 51-55, F 15 Responses Dec 20, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Some quotes I found that I think may help some

    parents understand their child's estrangement better. Not posting to be mean but to try to show the other side of the coin so there can be a bit of understanding and maybe a reflection of what could have lead to the estrangement. - It's been an accepted thing for a long time...
    Violet22 Violet22 26-30, F 2 Responses Jan 14

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Minimal Contact With Son For Three Years

    My son is 21. I got divorced 8 years ago . Left because the marriage was dismal and I was incredibly depressed. Got involved with the love of my life, but way too quickly. It muddied up the waters for sure, but I am incredibly happy now with him. My son had always had issues...
    ibabble ibabble 41-45, F 18 Responses May 12, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Hi im new here I was in a domestic violence

    marriage fir 23 yrs & did the best i could for my daughter Im 20 yrs out of that marriage & with a great man for 12 yrs & my dtr still us angry with me for not getting out sooner & ruining her life She cant have a decent romantic relationship & its all my fault I even did...
    oceanlady999 oceanlady999 61-65, F 1 Response Apr 23

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My Oldest Son Has Cut Off All Contact With His Family

    When this happens to a mom, it is humiliating, depressing and you feel so alone. Never would i have imagined others have and are going through this or that there is a group dedicated to us victims. So, thank you. My oldest son is now 23 and in the Army stationed in another state...
    LisaAJ LisaAJ 41-45, F 7 Responses Nov 20, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My adult children are treating me

    so abominably, it's shocking. After years of trying to heal this extremely dysfunction family (family counseling--alone--for 18 years), I now understand where I went wrong: I had been placing my children ahead of God. "Honor thy children" is not found in the 10 Commandments...
    5THCommandment 5THCommandment 61-65, F 4 Responses Sep 8, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I have posted here before.

    I have been estranged from my only daughter for some time now, and have no contact with my grandchildren. I had been following my own advice: trying to focus on other areas of my life and interests, trying to accept that which I cannot change, and be understanding of her...
    Tiralynn Tiralynn 61-65, F 2 Responses Jul 22

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I've been reading the book "Abandoned Parents:

    The Devil's Dilemma: The Causes and Consequences of Adult Children Abandoning Their Parents" by the author Sharon A. Wildey. This book has put this whole issue of being estranged, abandoned, and ostracized by the daughters that I've loved with all my heart in the correct light...
    MuchStrongerNow MuchStrongerNow 56-60, F 2 Responses Jan 8

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Just Bummed

    I had a fantastic relationship with my daughter all the years she was growing up. She is 30 now and though she lives two miles away and has been to my house maybe 4 times in two years. I go to her and her partner's house if I am invited. She has a non-profit that, unless I am...
    pmynx pmynx 56-60, F 2 Responses Nov 11, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Working At Having Self Respect

    I feel the pain of all parents whose children don't want them in their lives.  I have one child......a son.  He's now 42.  I took him out of my first marriage.......an abusive marriage..... before he was even two years old because I could see how badly it was...
    polgal333 polgal333 66-70 10 Responses May 24, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Both Son And Daughter Have Decided To Stop Talking To Me.

    I had and raised a son and daughter.  Both are married and have families of their own.  I was very close with my son, his wife and their 4 children.  Babysat and the 4 grandkids all the time.  My son and his wife hit a BIG Road Block in their lives. His wife moved to Oregon...
    cadyempr cadyempr 56-60, F 2 Responses Aug 16, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    hello, i am sort of a newbie here.

    i believe i have posted here about a year ago and i never was able to get back on to it because i just am not computer saavy. so i will write my story again and hope you all can hang with me. I have 2sons. The older one is my bio son and the younger one we adopted at the age...
    hikerfriend hikerfriend 51-55, F 3 Responses Apr 28

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My 39 Year Old Daughter Won't Have Anything To Do With Me And It Hurts Like He**

    My adult daughter and her kids came to visit frome overseas and in 2 weeks I did something so terrible she won't have anything to do with me. She won't tell me what I did and I have no idea what it was.   I paid for her trip over and paid for everything while she was here...
    Angel1948 Angel1948 61-65, F 4 Responses Jan 15, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I found this site and have hesitated

    for months about joining. I have been estranged from my only child. I got married at 20 and had my beautiful daughter. When the abuse in the marriage started, I and my baby fled to Florida, several states away from my home, and we hid for two years while seeking a divorce...
    Tiralynn Tiralynn 61-65, F 2 Responses May 28

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My son is 33yrs and he has blanked me

    since he met his wife. He has caused me much pain and sleepless nights, I've had counselling and I take anti depressants. Is this what is meant by the "Individualist society" he became egoistical, and disrespectful / narcissistic. I find it cruel the way he ignores my letters...
    Merecat Merecat 61-65, F 4 Responses Feb 7

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My son has cut me off from his life

    for going on 2 years. Well, not just me but our entire family. All because of his wife. It's such a long story and one day maybe I'll be able to type it out or talk about it without crying. My husband, my other 2 children, my whole family, and I did nothing wrong.....but...
    missingpartofmyheart missingpartofmyheart 41-45, F 3 Responses May 11, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    2 Daughters Who Ignore Me (mom)

    We aren't estranged but almost. I have 2 adult daughters (ages 45 & 40) who still act like teenagers around me. I thought it would change when they became moms. Much of the time they simply ignore my e-mails, phone calls, etc. or answer a week or longer later. The oldest daughter...
    michelephoto michelephoto 66-70, F 4 Responses Jun 22, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I have a 28 year old daughter

    who I haven't seen for over 2 years - she has cut off all contact with our family. I can't really talk about it right now. It is too hard to go there. I am just glad that I saw this post about Group for Parents of Estranged Children - I am part of this group. I am not ready...
    tryingagainII tryingagainII 56-60, M 2 Responses Nov 7, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I have twin girls born in 1988.

    My marriage was highly abusive and after 7 years I had to get out. I had custody until they were 13 then because of a comment that was disrespectful made by the oldest twin to me I slapped at her meaning to pop her mouth but I missed. I felt horrible about it and apologized and...
    trish03 trish03 51-55, F 2 Responses Jul 11, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My situation is pretty much like others here.

    27 years ago, I was in an abusive relationship when I found out I was pregnant with my son. It wasn't until then that I realized his father was a alcoholic (he hid it well only drinking at night). So, when I was six months pregnant I decided to leave him- a decision I never...
    SharonanJay SharonanJay 46-50, F Jul 25

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I have been estranged from my 37 year old son,

    only child, for about ten years. Reconciliation is doubtful. Twelve years ago, his friends embezzled my fledgling company. Though I was unable to obtain a conviction, I gained a 160,000.00 judgment. First, while they were stealing from me, he made up excuses, resulting in...
    Writer4kids Writer4kids 56-60, F 3 Responses Dec 23, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel