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I Group For Parents of Estranged Children

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 321 People

    I adopted 2 sons and my oldest son

    and he has reactive attachment disorder. he was fine as a child and when he hit middle school he got with the wrong crowd, didnt do his homework, took people's phones to look at bad things, stole money, I had to go after school with him to do his school work, he lost jobs for...
    MonicaOlivia69 MonicaOlivia69 41-45, F Apr 9

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    Looking For Input

    My story is the same as many of yours. Adult son of whom we were close until 1 1/2 years ago. His wife of 10 years was also close. We enjoyed much together. It seemed suddenly at the time, now I see it was coming on slowly, but they have cut us out of their life taking our...
    KLC916 KLC916 56-60, F 1 Response Sep 25, 2013

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    Never thought I would be joining this type of

    group. But sadly here I am. Heres my brief, sad, painful story. My daughter who we love so very dearly. Grew up and married a man who has a "narcissistic personality". He has tried since before they were married to come between us. Its been 6 years now, and they have a beautiful...
    pebbles59 pebbles59 51-55, F 2 Responses Jan 3

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    So Lonesome For Him!

    Hi, I found this site a while back but didn't get up the nerve to post my story. Now, for my sanity, I have to talk to others in the same position. Without going into the long, long story of how my husband and I became estranged from our son almost two years ago, I will briefly...
    Y1yorkie Y1yorkie 46-50, F 4 Responses Sep 14, 2012

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    Estranged Adult Child

    I am the mother of an estranged adult child who I have not seen in three years.  I am hoping to reach out to other parents are experiencing this painful experience to share and to support one another.
    atshemi atshemi 56-60 85 Responses Mar 19, 2009

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    Just Bummed

    I had a fantastic relationship with my daughter all the years she was growing up. She is 30 now and though she lives two miles away and has been to my house maybe 4 times in two years. I go to her and her partner's house if I am invited. She has a non-profit that, unless I am...
    pmynx pmynx 51-55, F 2 Responses Nov 11, 2013

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    He'S 35 Today

    I work nights so at times dates get away from me...but this morning as I was doing my paperwork the date jumped out at me like a coiled spring. My oldest son's birthday is today...he's 35 years old...my God how the time flies by. My son has had nothing to do with me since he...
    rzncne61 rzncne61 61-65 1 Response Apr 24, 2013

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    Lost In Reality

    My two teenage daughters have disowned me. When they were babies, I divorced their father and moved away for one year. I decided to leave the girls with their father because I was moving to an unstable environment; no job, no place to live, etc. I didn't want my children to be in...
    seoulgirl72 seoulgirl72 41-45, F 3 Responses Aug 8, 2013

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    How Do I Cope...

    My 18 yr old son refuses to talk to me or see me and I just can't let him go. I'm sure that there are things as a mother that I've done wrong but were they so wrong that he doesn't want me in his life? He's always been on the difficult side. I've always chalked it up to...
    Hrtbrokn Hrtbrokn 51-55, F 14 Responses Dec 20, 2010

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    From The Perspective Of The Child

    Children are emotionally bonded to their parents. For the estrangement to have happened, something must have gone very very wrong. In my case, I was subject to horrific abuse by my father. I still remember, on Sunday afternoons, he would kick his shoe hard at us until we become...
    Cantrelax Cantrelax 31-35 3 Responses Feb 20, 2013

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    Very Sad And Depressed

    Im a Mother of four adult children, and neither of my sons speak to me , I have clinical depression and i passed it to all my kids. For this i take full blame, but they blame me for everything wrong in their lives, everything. I did the best i could as they were growing up, i...
    logansgram2000 logansgram2000 56-60 1 Response Oct 8, 2013

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    My almost 19 year old daughter has chosen to

    completely cut me out of her life. It will be 1 year this June since I have seen her or had a conversation with her. It's a very long ugly story that's only turned worse over the past months. I have now chosen to detatch myself from my own parents who have turned a blind eye...
    AlizM AlizM 36-40, F 3 Responses Feb 4

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    Cruel Son

    Our son is in his late twenties,engaged,working,and up until a year ago was the light of our life.  All this changed when my husband who had just had a triple bypass,said he could not use our ski boat for a holiday.  Well the **** hit the fan, which to be honest we did expect...
    1479A 1479A 51-55, F 7 Responses May 1, 2011

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    Hurting So Bad ;(

    I have 2 adult children. After 5 long years of no contact my daughter started emailing me which I am very happy about although the emails are strained and few and far between. My son who is older has stopped speaking to me 2 years ago. No contact. No emails. He's a police officer...
    janine407 janine407 46-50, F 2 Responses Oct 5, 2013

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    I am a single parent of an estranged child

    for over a year now. I hurt and wrack my brain out every day as to what has happened between my daughter and I. She has turned our world upside down and hasnt allowed me one day of tranquility ever since ive been with my boyfriend of 4 years. She';s cold, callous, and...
    saraphim saraphim 36-40, F 3 Responses Feb 19

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    Abandoned

    It's late, I'm alone and despondent, I weep for my son. I miss him dearly and don't understand why he abandoned me, his dad, his brother, whole family, home. What can he be thinking? We had a good life, we supported his music efforts, scouting, friends. We took vacations, we...
    Beaner59 Beaner59 46-50, F 25 Responses Sep 8, 2009

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    My fiancée and I are dealing with two separate

    issuses. I want to start with his and his daughter he hasn't seen since age 1. Making a long story short he left her mother when she was an infant. They both were using drugs at the time and she was involved with other men. He went to visit the child finding the mom doing drugs...
    cindymichael201000 cindymichael201000 36-40, F Feb 8

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    My Baby Girl Wont Talk To Me

    Im a housewife all i did was tAke care of my husband and kids and of couse the house my baby girl and i was very close then she meet and married this young man he not the friendless or that outgoing oh but before she meet him she was 19and i was driving to college and work...
    Leesajane Leesajane 46-50, F 1 Response Sep 9, 2013

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    I raised my two kids by myself

    and my daughter developed an eating disorder. Her Father, who moved out of state when they were small, re-appeared when she was 16 when she called him one day after she had her phone taken away for lying to me. Instead of him behaving as an adult, he told her to call the...
    estrangedmom estrangedmom 46-50, F 1 Response Feb 1

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    Broken

    I grew up in an abusive home. My father was emotionally, physically and sexually abusive. My mother and I were close; like 2 inmates in a prison camp. There was a family next door that I admired greatly; 3 girls. When the father returned home from work every day, he looked so...
    marimagi marimagi 51-55 1 Response Sep 21, 2013

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    Update

    Dear Friends, For the most part I have accepted being the outsider in my 2 grown daughter's lives. My 4 grandchildren make it worthwhile. But sometimes I still feel afresh the PAIN &/or anger at their mostly ignoring behavior. To be honest, I think once their sickly Dad dies...
    michelephoto michelephoto 66-70, F Sep 22, 2013

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    I've always had a strained relationship with my

    daughter. I divorced her dad when she was around 5 and thought I was a very responsible single parent. Her dad was very much a part of her life and at a young age she had problems with jealously when it came to her half sister. My daughter always looked down and removed when...
    courageousmom courageousmom 66-70, F Apr 5

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    My son is 28. I raised him on my own

    as a single mom, I always worked very hard to give him a good life, we had a house, he had a good education, food, clothes and we even had horses because I wanted to do "outdoor" things with him too, not just girly things. My son wanted to start a music career at age 16, and...
    Katrinalccy Katrinalccy 51-55, F 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    2 Daughters Who Ignore Me (mom)

    We aren't estranged but almost. I have 2 adult daughters (ages 45 & 40) who still act like teenagers around me. I thought it would change when they became moms. Much of the time they simply ignore my e-mails, phone calls, etc. or answer a week or longer later. The oldest daughter...
    michelephoto michelephoto 66-70, F 4 Responses Jun 22, 2012

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    Help, Is There Anybody Out There?

    I would like to start some type of group for adults who have estranged children. I am curious if I am the only one. I am looking for peoplewho did not cause this rift because of their own behavior ( such as abuse, drug and alcohol problems, mental illness, extreme political or...
    bluejay2fly bluejay2fly 41-45, M 20 Responses Feb 21, 2012

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    Happy Mothers Day!

    I am New here but I wanted to post Happy Mothers Day to everyone like me who gave birth to children who turned out to be mean little Heathens in abandoning us. Am I Angry? Yes.  Am I Hurt? Alot..       I will soon post my story. But Happy Mothers Day Anyway!
    Lonestar777 Lonestar777 46-50, F 2 Responses May 13, 2012

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    Working At Having Self Respect

    I feel the pain of all parents whose children don't want them in their lives.  I have one child......a son.  He's now 42.  I took him out of my first marriage.......an abusive marriage..... before he was even two years old because I could see how badly it was...
    polgal333 polgal333 66-70 10 Responses May 24, 2010

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    Our 34 year old daughter always said I was her

    best friend until 5 years ago when she started complaining that we treated her two older brothers better than we treated her. There were a few other complaints, but they always seemed to get back to the same issue. Then five years ago, she asked us to watch her 4 children for...
    3Z7c4 3Z7c4 61-65, F 3 Responses Mar 31

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    Minimal Contact With Son For Three Years

    My son is 21. I got divorced 8 years ago . Left because the marriage was dismal and I was incredibly depressed. Got involved with the love of my life, but way too quickly. It muddied up the waters for sure, but I am incredibly happy now with him. My son had always had issues...
    ibabble ibabble 41-45, F 18 Responses May 12, 2010

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    My Oldest Son Has Cut Off All Contact With His Family

    When this happens to a mom, it is humiliating, depressing and you feel so alone. Never would i have imagined others have and are going through this or that there is a group dedicated to us victims. So, thank you. My oldest son is now 23 and in the Army stationed in another state...
    LisaAJ LisaAJ 41-45, F 4 Responses Nov 20, 2013

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    So Happy To Have Found This Site...

    Hello everyone, I am very happy to have found this site this evening. Many of your stories have given me encouragement. Never in a hundred years would I have thought that I'd be in the position I am now. The pain from the situation that I am in with my adult children is...
    Kathleenelaineb Kathleenelaineb 51-55, F 1 Response Aug 16, 2013

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    My 39 Year Old Daughter Won't Have Anything To Do With Me And It Hurts Like He**

    My adult daughter and her kids came to visit frome overseas and in 2 weeks I did something so terrible she won't have anything to do with me. She won't tell me what I did and I have no idea what it was.   I paid for her trip over and paid for everything while she was here...
    Angel1948 Angel1948 61-65, F 4 Responses Jan 15, 2011

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    A Family History Of Estrangement

    As I read other stories of estrangement, I see that in many families there is a history of estrangement. In mine, my sister walked away and also one of my uncles. I wonder if there is a genetic predisposition.
    felicita felicita 66-70, F 8 Responses May 6, 2010

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    Giving Up

    thats exactly what i have decided im going to have to do.. gosh ill try and shorten this as much as i can.. coz its a long long story that started back in middle school. i have 2 sons one is 25 (going on 5) and a wonderful 16 yr old. (that is very respectful never in trouble...
    momunderfire momunderfire 51-55 1 Response Oct 4, 2012

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    I raised three girls by myself

    for eight years as my husband was a loser. We struggled financially but I eventually found my current husband when the oldest was 9. Needless to say their step dad was strict but my girls all have 2 degrees each and their own mortgage. The problem is with my middle child who...
    5861bold 5861bold 51-55 1 Response Mar 30

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    Hi, I wish I had this website 15 yrs ago.

    My daughter was a huge challenge to raise and my husband and I were 18 and 20 when we started our family. We both came into this relationship with history of abuse in our individual families of origin. We had our son, 11 months later our daughter and fumbled our way through...
    wecair wecair 51-55, F Jan 27

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    Where did you go David?

    I was trying to be the best mom that I knew how to be. I gave all I had to my sons, but I have lost my oldest son. He won't speak to me anymore. How do I tell my 18 year old how I got here? How do I explain that I am here for him? How will he ever understand the truth of...
    NoDavid NoDavid 46-50 1 Response Jan 29

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    Is It Our Son Or His Wife?

    Our son is 28 and has been married to his high school sweetheart for three years. He was always a loving son and we have always considered her part of our family. Things starting changing slowly after their marriage ... Job changes, relocations, and emotional distance, first...
    Kathryn1955 Kathryn1955 51-55 13 Responses Jul 2, 2011

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    About me; I was married

    for 22 years. The first 15 were wonderful. The trouble began when my ex-wife took a managerial position. More money, power over others..... Our relationship detioriated thereafter. 2 years ago, she asked for a divorce. Throughout our marriage I remained faithful. Not a...
    calabriano calabriano 56-60 Mar 19

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    I can relate to all of your stories.

    I have 3 children; 18, 15, and 7. My oldest daughter works and goes to school and to the public, is a generally decent person...I feel my raising her has played a significant role in that. I overly spoiled her for many years, due to being a single mom of my older two girls...
    ellemom ellemom 31-35, F Mar 1

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    Both Son And Daughter Have Decided To Stop Talking To Me.

    I had and raised a son and daughter.  Both are married and have families of their own.  I was very close with my son, his wife and their 4 children.  Babysat and the 4 grandkids all the time.  My son and his wife hit a BIG Road Block in their lives. His wife moved to Oregon...
    cadyempr cadyempr 56-60, F 2 Responses Aug 16, 2011

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    Lost My Daughter

    I guess it might seem a little extreme saying ,lost my daughter. But in all reality I think Sometimes that she is gone forever in one way or another. I've done a lot of research and in the least ,unless there is a miracle It could be years. I could be very detailed but I will be...
    Tohopeto Tohopeto 51-55 1 Response Mar 2, 2012

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    Estranged From My 18 Year Old Daughter And Heartbroken.

    I will try and be brief...I have had horrendous issues with my daughter since she was 15 Without any real friends she got addicted to chatting with strangers on Facebook Always much older men. Its been a battle keeping her safe. Well once she reached 18....I gave her trust to...
    mammashazza mammashazza 51-55, F 7 Responses Oct 26, 2013

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    Love Not Returned

    I got married at age 21. There had been doubts before the marriage about whether or not it was a good idea for us to marry (on both sides) but we were immature and lacked clarity and we proceeded. While there were some fun times and great family moments, there were deep...
    Joycee1948 Joycee1948 66-70, F 1 Response Sep 18, 2013

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    Why Are We Hurting So Bad

    As I'm reading these posts I'm beginning to realize the pain of all these parents. Especially moms. Whether it's 1 year, 5, 10, 20 years it seems the pain is always the same. Why can't we just heal? Maybe we need to realize that these adult children are selfish and narcissistic...
    janine407 janine407 46-50, F 1 Response Oct 6, 2013

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    I have been estranged from my 37 year old son,

    only child, for about ten years. Reconciliation is doubtful. Twelve years ago, his friends embezzled my fledgling company. Though I was unable to obtain a conviction, I gained a 160,000.00 judgment. First, while they were stealing from me, he made up excuses, resulting in...
    Writer4kids Writer4kids 56-60, F 3 Responses Dec 23, 2013

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    I have three grown children - two sons

    and a daughter. I have a wonderful relationship with my oldest son and my daughter, but have had a rocky road with my middle son for the past five years or so. We always had a close relationship, but when he cheated on his wife and confided in me that information, things changed...
    separatedandhurt separatedandhurt 51-55, F Feb 11

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    We Stopped Financial Support And Our 26 Year Old Has Cut Off Contact

    Our daughter is an intelligent, often charming, capable young woman who chose the field of art history for her profession.  For undergrad studies in the midwest she graduated at the top of her class, worked several jobs at school to help support herself and was awarded a...
    heartlandhannah heartlandhannah 51-55, F 3 Responses Jun 5, 2012

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    Missujess

    my son met this young lady both 25 now, at work..she was living with another co-worker who had let her stay at his place as her car was re-possessed and they shared rides. My son began to go to their house. Soon he began staying there all the time. There was alway things we...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Oct 8, 2013

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    My Estranged Son

    I also have a 29yr. old son who has estranged himself from me for 7 years and it still hurts like mad. I  am British, living in the US with my American husband. I was married before, to my son's father for 21 years. In all that time, he was abusive and lazy and into smoking...
    angela3000 angela3000 56-60 6 Responses Sep 18, 2010

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    Hope For The Future

    Dear Parents and Fellow Children Rearing Disappointed I struggle with this on a daily basis. What did I do wrong and what could I have done differently? Really, it comes down to this. Think back to being in you 20s and 30s. All of the dreams and expectations for life. I do...
    bonnie1234567 bonnie1234567 46-50 7 Responses Aug 8, 2013

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    Estranged Mother

    I'm fifty nine and have to children a daughter of thirty nine and a son early thirties. Over the past five or so years they haven't contacted me or attempted to find out how I am, my mam died in June and I'm looking after my eighty five yr old father who has leukemia he lives...
    vivmac vivmac 56-60, F Sep 23, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    My parents are pretty much the epitome of the American Dream, but ascension into the middle-class has made them pretty ****** people. They both grew up really poor and had to raise...
    HipHipJorge HipHipJorge 26-30 1 Response 19 hrs ago

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    I really can't wait to have children. But I know I am not ready yet and also want to be happily married before. I want to give them a great childhood and teach them so many things...
    TheDarkOak TheDarkOak 18-21, M Mar 30

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    Go here https://www.inspire.com/groups/scleroderma-foundation/discussion/bronchiectasis-2/ I am SheBee on that page. Hope to see you there too as well as here!
    FlashOBlue FlashOBlue 66-70, F Mar 31

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    I'm in one of my "I'm so gay, I don't want to talk to men" days caused by all the messages from men in my inbox. GO AWAY MEN.
    dubsiren dubsiren 31-35, F 1 Response Mar 30

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