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I Group For Parents of Estranged Children

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 402 People

    I've been reading the book "Abandoned Parents:

    The Devil's Dilemma: The Causes and Consequences of Adult Children Abandoning Their Parents" by the author Sharon A. Wildey. This book has put this whole issue of being estranged, abandoned, and ostracized by the daughters that I've loved with all my heart in the correct light...
    MuchStrongerNow MuchStrongerNow 56-60, F 3 Responses Jan 8

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    From The Perspective Of The Child

    Children are emotionally bonded to their parents. For the estrangement to have happened, something must have gone very very wrong. In my case, I was subject to horrific abuse by my father. I still remember, on Sunday afternoons, he would kick his shoe hard at us until we become...
    Cantrelax Cantrelax 31-35 3 Responses Feb 20, 2013

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    Well this is my 1st time to post anything like

    this.... I have a 19 year old son that has deleted me out of his life. I have been the parent that he always came to when he needed anything. I am the one that comforted him when he needed it. Anyways to make a long story short my ex and I divorced 10 years ago he ended up...
    doodles76 doodles76 36-40, F 1 Response Oct 4, 2014

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    So Lonesome For Him!

    Hi, I found this site a while back but didn't get up the nerve to post my story. Now, for my sanity, I have to talk to others in the same position. Without going into the long, long story of how my husband and I became estranged from our son almost two years ago, I will briefly...
    Y1yorkie Y1yorkie 46-50, F 4 Responses Sep 14, 2012

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    I am at a loss as to what to say.

    I know I was not a perfect parent, no one is. I was struggling with my own abandonment issues and the trauma of my childhood. I did not know how to be a "good parent" as I never had good role models. But I was not an evil parent either. I didn't drink, didn't do drugs, didn't...
    fairynana fairynana 56-60, F 4 Responses Apr 9

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    I am new to this forum

    and surprised to see there are many parents out there who are estranged from their children. My situation is not complete estrangement, but I am not included much in my two boys' lives. The hurt I feel is so heart wrenching especially when I see the close relationship they...
    Imagemaker630 Imagemaker630 56-60, F 3 Responses Aug 17, 2014

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    I have twin girls born in 1988.

    My marriage was highly abusive and after 7 years I had to get out. I had custody until they were 13 then because of a comment that was disrespectful made by the oldest twin to me I slapped at her meaning to pop her mouth but I missed. I felt horrible about it and apologized and...
    trish03 trish03 51-55, F 2 Responses Jul 11, 2014

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    My son wrote me a message today.

    It seems he wants to " letting bygones be bygones." But he has certain "conditions" attached to his peace offering. 1. No talk about God or religion. 2. No calling him "honey" or "dear." 3. He doesn't want to reminisce. The past wasn't pleasant for him. 4. No treating his wife...
    Harley53 Harley53 61-65, F 3 Responses Apr 26

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    My 39 Year Old Daughter Won't Have Anything To Do With Me And It Hurts Like He**

    My adult daughter and her kids came to visit frome overseas and in 2 weeks I did something so terrible she won't have anything to do with me. She won't tell me what I did and I have no idea what it was.   I paid for her trip over and paid for everything while she was here...
    Angel1948 Angel1948 61-65, F 4 Responses Jan 15, 2011

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    We divorced when my son was less

    than 2. I tried to be graceful about it and coparent, but as my son got older, he thought that everything I did was wrong, and I could do nothing right. I lost him somewhere around 13, he's 18 now. It breaks my heart how things have turned out and I don't know what to do. I've...
    rquinet rquinet 41-45, F Mar 4

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    So Happy To Have Found This Site...

    Hello everyone, I am very happy to have found this site this evening. Many of your stories have given me encouragement. Never in a hundred years would I have thought that I'd be in the position I am now. The pain from the situation that I am in with my adult children is...
    Kathleenelaineb Kathleenelaineb 51-55, F 1 Response Aug 16, 2013

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    hello, i am sort of a newbie here.

    i believe i have posted here about a year ago and i never was able to get back on to it because i just am not computer saavy. so i will write my story again and hope you all can hang with me. I have 2sons. The older one is my bio son and the younger one we adopted at the age...
    hikerfriend hikerfriend 51-55, F 2 Responses Apr 28

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    I have been estranged from my 37 year old son,

    only child, for about ten years. Reconciliation is doubtful. Twelve years ago, his friends embezzled my fledgling company. Though I was unable to obtain a conviction, I gained a 160,000.00 judgment. First, while they were stealing from me, he made up excuses, resulting in...
    Writer4kids Writer4kids 56-60, F 3 Responses Dec 23, 2013

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    My Oldest Son Has Cut Off All Contact With His Family

    When this happens to a mom, it is humiliating, depressing and you feel so alone. Never would i have imagined others have and are going through this or that there is a group dedicated to us victims. So, thank you. My oldest son is now 23 and in the Army stationed in another state...
    LisaAJ LisaAJ 41-45, F 6 Responses Nov 20, 2013

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    Hi, My name is Armen i'm a filmmaker.

    I have a cousin who has estranged herself from us and her family. And for whatever reason I decided to google this subject and found a plethora of support systems. As a filmmaker I thought of creating a video poem piece based one 3 stories of child estrangement and create a...
    armenhh armenhh 26-30, M Apr 23

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    Just Bummed

    I had a fantastic relationship with my daughter all the years she was growing up. She is 30 now and though she lives two miles away and has been to my house maybe 4 times in two years. I go to her and her partner's house if I am invited. She has a non-profit that, unless I am...
    pmynx pmynx 56-60, F 2 Responses Nov 11, 2013

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    Update

    Dear Friends, For the most part I have accepted being the outsider in my 2 grown daughter's lives. My 4 grandchildren make it worthwhile. But sometimes I still feel afresh the PAIN &/or anger at their mostly ignoring behavior. To be honest, I think once their sickly Dad dies...
    michelephoto michelephoto 66-70, F Sep 22, 2013

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    I'm don't even know where to start

    but I have a son who is almost 22 years old. I had him when I was 17. His father and I got married and had 3 more children after him then divorced after 11 years together. We should have never gotten married to begin with. My 22 year old was effected the most and has always...
    Momto6kids Momto6kids 36-40, F 3 days ago

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    It's taken me five years to accept,

    despite all the hurt that's been dished out, how little I mean to my son, and how superfluous I clearly am. I've got the message. I didn't want to believe it so I just kept on trying to be part of his life. It's been tough though and have been made to feel like the outsider...
    CosimaMcDonald CosimaMcDonald 61-65, F 3 Responses Apr 30, 2014

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    I'm not altogether sure we are supposed to have

    lifetime intimate relationships with our children. I am estranged from my son AGAIN for the seventh time. He is 46 yrs old. I have always left the door open for him to waltz back into my life as if he never left. He may find that more difficult this time as I have changed. I no...
    Ub12 Ub12 61-65, F 6 Responses Sep 19, 2014

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    2 Daughters Who Ignore Me (mom)

    We aren't estranged but almost. I have 2 adult daughters (ages 45 & 40) who still act like teenagers around me. I thought it would change when they became moms. Much of the time they simply ignore my e-mails, phone calls, etc. or answer a week or longer later. The oldest daughter...
    michelephoto michelephoto 66-70, F 4 Responses Jun 22, 2012

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    Hope For The Future

    Dear Parents and Fellow Children Rearing Disappointed I struggle with this on a daily basis. What did I do wrong and what could I have done differently? Really, it comes down to this. Think back to being in you 20s and 30s. All of the dreams and expectations for life. I do...
    bonnie1234567 bonnie1234567 46-50 7 Responses Aug 8, 2013

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    Hi im new here I was in a domestic violence

    marriage fir 23 yrs & did the best i could for my daughter Im 20 yrs out of that marriage & with a great man for 12 yrs & my dtr still us angry with me for not getting out sooner & ruining her life She cant have a decent romantic relationship & its all my fault I even did...
    oceanlady999 oceanlady999 61-65, F Apr 23

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    My son is 28. I raised him on my own

    as a single mom, I always worked very hard to give him a good life, we had a house, he had a good education, food, clothes and we even had horses because I wanted to do "outdoor" things with him too, not just girly things. My son wanted to start a music career at age 16, and...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Apr 14, 2014

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    2014...Our story is this,

    it's been a yr now since the CAT 3 storm came to it's final blows in our household, fracturing our family and sending our 2 young adult kids (then 18 & 23) into the nest of meddling relatives who are bent on being their new family and the kids have cut themselves off from us...
    risenfromtheashes risenfromtheashes 41-45 3 Responses May 9, 2014

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    Estranged Adult Child

    I am the mother of an estranged adult child who I have not seen in three years.  I am hoping to reach out to other parents are experiencing this painful experience to share and to support one another.
    atshemi atshemi 56-60 96 Responses Mar 19, 2009

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    Heartbroken Over My Only Child

    Hi, I am new on here and have been struggling with being estanged from my only child, a daughter who is almost 20 now. I got divorced when she was 5 and we had an unusual arrangement (we had joint custody but she lived with me for a week and then with her father for a week). I...
    Deedee501 Deedee501 51-55, F 1 Response Mar 1, 2013

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    How Do I Cope...

    My 18 yr old son refuses to talk to me or see me and I just can't let him go. I'm sure that there are things as a mother that I've done wrong but were they so wrong that he doesn't want me in his life? He's always been on the difficult side. I've always chalked it up to...
    Hrtbrokn Hrtbrokn 51-55, F 15 Responses Dec 20, 2010

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    I have 2 son's one, the youngest,

    27 years old, is wonderful, loving, caring and we love and support each other. However my oldest son, 34 years old, has been cold, distant, uncaring and just plain mean for the last 10 years. But in all honesty he was difficult as a teen also, at the time I thought no biggie...
    hardworkingmom88 hardworkingmom88 51-55, F 1 Response Jan 2

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    Lost My Daughter

    I guess it might seem a little extreme saying ,lost my daughter. But in all reality I think Sometimes that she is gone forever in one way or another. I've done a lot of research and in the least ,unless there is a miracle It could be years. I could be very detailed but I will be...
    Tohopeto Tohopeto 51-55 1 Response Mar 2, 2012

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    We Stopped Financial Support And Our 26 Year Old Has Cut Off Contact

    Our daughter is an intelligent, often charming, capable young woman who chose the field of art history for her profession.  For undergrad studies in the midwest she graduated at the top of her class, worked several jobs at school to help support herself and was awarded a...
    heartlandhannah heartlandhannah 51-55, F 3 Responses Jun 5, 2012

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    I haven't spoken to my 32 year old son in 4

    years. I still cry about it, especially during the month of the "sentinel" event. I still can't believe it actually happened. We'd had a good relationship, he'd been my 5:30 am company when we both got up for him for high school me work. We'd watch sports center, he'd always...
    confusedinmanyways confusedinmanyways 56-60, F 2 Responses Aug 30, 2014

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    I have a 28 year old daughter

    who I haven't seen for over 2 years - she has cut off all contact with our family. I can't really talk about it right now. It is too hard to go there. I am just glad that I saw this post about Group for Parents of Estranged Children - I am part of this group. I am not ready...
    tryingagainII tryingagainII 56-60, M 2 Responses Nov 7, 2014

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    My son also married a woman

    that is extremely controlling and doesn't want him to have a relationship with his family and friends anymore now that she is in his life. They allowed her parents to live with them for a while, but don't anymore. He no longer talks to any of his friends or his only sibling...
    PeaceAndHappinessFirst PeaceAndHappinessFirst 46-50, F 2 Responses Sep 24, 2014

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    January is the hardest month

    for me. My daughter was 15 when she decided to stop coming over. She decided to stop speaking to me. The she blew off our family Christmas. Then her 16th birthday. I go back to the last time we we're together. We had a stupid argument during a drive her to her dad's house...
    sadmom68 sadmom68 46-50, F Jan 9

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    Have not seen my 37 year old son [only child]

    for 5 + years. My heart feels bruised and I am so sad. Sometimes I can be driving to the supermarket and the tears will be rolling down my face. He wont tell me why. Sometimes the sadness is so intense, made worse by the fact that it is something so hard to share with others
    carriejust carriejust 56-60, F 4 Responses Aug 15, 2014

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    Minimal Contact With Son For Three Years

    My son is 21. I got divorced 8 years ago . Left because the marriage was dismal and I was incredibly depressed. Got involved with the love of my life, but way too quickly. It muddied up the waters for sure, but I am incredibly happy now with him. My son had always had issues...
    ibabble ibabble 41-45, F 18 Responses May 12, 2010

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    Happy Mothers Day!

    I am New here but I wanted to post Happy Mothers Day to everyone like me who gave birth to children who turned out to be mean little Heathens in abandoning us. Am I Angry? Yes.  Am I Hurt? Alot..       I will soon post my story. But Happy Mothers Day Anyway!
    Lonestar777 Lonestar777 46-50, F 3 Responses May 13, 2012

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    We have lost two of our adult children to death

    and the last two have rejected us. I was a mother to four children and worked hard along with their dad to make their lives comfortable. When they left home we help them out as much as we could, without emptying our pockets. The oldest son was murdered twenty one years ago...
    djc64 djc64 66-70, F 2 Responses Dec 3, 2014

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    I found this site and have hesitated

    for months about joining. I have been estranged from my only child. I got married at 20 and had my beautiful daughter. When the abuse in the marriage started, I and my baby fled to Florida, several states away from my home, and we hid for two years while seeking a divorce...
    Tiralynn Tiralynn 61-65, F 1 day ago

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    Cruel Son

    Our son is in his late twenties,engaged,working,and up until a year ago was the light of our life.  All this changed when my husband who had just had a triple bypass,said he could not use our ski boat for a holiday.  Well the **** hit the fan, which to be honest we did expect...
    1479A 1479A 51-55, F 8 Responses May 1, 2011

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    Help, Is There Anybody Out There?

    I would like to start some type of group for adults who have estranged children. I am curious if I am the only one. I am looking for peoplewho did not cause this rift because of their own behavior ( such as abuse, drug and alcohol problems, mental illness, extreme political or...
    bluejay2fly bluejay2fly 41-45, M 23 Responses Feb 21, 2012

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    Why Are We Hurting So Bad

    As I'm reading these posts I'm beginning to realize the pain of all these parents. Especially moms. Whether it's 1 year, 5, 10, 20 years it seems the pain is always the same. Why can't we just heal? Maybe we need to realize that these adult children are selfish and narcissistic...
    janine407 janine407 51-55, F 2 Responses Oct 6, 2013

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    Working At Having Self Respect

    I feel the pain of all parents whose children don't want them in their lives.  I have one child......a son.  He's now 42.  I took him out of my first marriage.......an abusive marriage..... before he was even two years old because I could see how badly it was...
    polgal333 polgal333 66-70 10 Responses May 24, 2010

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    My son is 33yrs and he has blanked me

    since he met his wife. He has caused me much pain and sleepless nights, I've had counselling and I take anti depressants. Is this what is meant by the "Individualist society" he became egoistical, and disrespectful / narcissistic. I find it cruel the way he ignores my letters...
    Merecat Merecat 61-65, F 2 Responses Feb 7

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    My daughter age 28 has 5 kids.

    I know she is overwhelmed. I try to keep in touch but she goes through phases where she doesn't call for weeks even up to a month. We have had to help her financially for about 9 years. She is my only daughter and we used to be closer. It breaks my heart that she doesn't call...
    pattykake01 pattykake01 46-50, F 1 Response Nov 23, 2014

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