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I Group For Parents of Estranged Children

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 370 People

    2014...Our story is this,

    it's been a yr now since the CAT 3 storm came to it's final blows in our household, fracturing our family and sending our 2 young adult kids (then 18 & 23) into the nest of meddling relatives who are bent on being their new family and the kids have cut themselves off from us...
    risenfromtheashes risenfromtheashes 41-45 3 Responses May 9

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    Never thought I would be joining this type of

    group. But sadly here I am. Heres my brief, sad, painful story. My daughter who we love so very dearly. Grew up and married a man who has a "narcissistic personality". He has tried since before they were married to come between us. Its been 6 years now, and they have a beautiful...
    pebbles59 pebbles59 51-55, F 2 Responses Jan 3

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    So Lonesome For Him!

    Hi, I found this site a while back but didn't get up the nerve to post my story. Now, for my sanity, I have to talk to others in the same position. Without going into the long, long story of how my husband and I became estranged from our son almost two years ago, I will briefly...
    Y1yorkie Y1yorkie 46-50, F 4 Responses Sep 14, 2012

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    I raised my two kids by myself

    and my daughter developed an eating disorder. Her Father, who moved out of state when they were small, re-appeared when she was 16 when she called him one day after she had her phone taken away for lying to me. Instead of him behaving as an adult, he told her to call the...
    estrangedmom estrangedmom 51-55, F 1 Response Feb 1

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    My 39 Year Old Daughter Won't Have Anything To Do With Me And It Hurts Like He**

    My adult daughter and her kids came to visit frome overseas and in 2 weeks I did something so terrible she won't have anything to do with me. She won't tell me what I did and I have no idea what it was.   I paid for her trip over and paid for everything while she was here...
    Angel1948 Angel1948 61-65, F 4 Responses Jan 15, 2011

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    Update

    Dear Friends, For the most part I have accepted being the outsider in my 2 grown daughter's lives. My 4 grandchildren make it worthwhile. But sometimes I still feel afresh the PAIN &/or anger at their mostly ignoring behavior. To be honest, I think once their sickly Dad dies...
    michelephoto michelephoto 66-70, F Sep 22, 2013

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    My adult children are treating me

    so abominably, it's shocking. After years of trying to heal this extremely dysfunction family (family counseling--alone--for 18 years), I now understand where I went wrong: I had been placing my children ahead of God. "Honor thy children" is not found in the 10 Commandments...
    5THCommandment 5THCommandment 61-65, F 3 Responses Sep 8

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    A Family History Of Estrangement

    As I read other stories of estrangement, I see that in many families there is a history of estrangement. In mine, my sister walked away and also one of my uncles. I wonder if there is a genetic predisposition.
    felicita felicita 66-70, F 8 Responses May 6, 2010

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    We Stopped Financial Support And Our 26 Year Old Has Cut Off Contact

    Our daughter is an intelligent, often charming, capable young woman who chose the field of art history for her profession.  For undergrad studies in the midwest she graduated at the top of her class, worked several jobs at school to help support herself and was awarded a...
    heartlandhannah heartlandhannah 51-55, F 3 Responses Jun 5, 2012

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    My fiancée and I are dealing with two separate

    issuses. I want to start with his and his daughter he hasn't seen since age 1. Making a long story short he left her mother when she was an infant. They both were using drugs at the time and she was involved with other men. He went to visit the child finding the mom doing drugs...
    cindymichael201000 cindymichael201000 36-40, F Feb 8

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    Where did you go David?

    I was trying to be the best mom that I knew how to be. I gave all I had to my sons, but I have lost my oldest son. He won't speak to me anymore. How do I tell my 18 year old how I got here? How do I explain that I am here for him? How will he ever understand the truth of...
    NoDavid NoDavid 46-50 1 Response Jan 29

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    Estranged Mother

    I'm fifty nine and have to children a daughter of thirty nine and a son early thirties. Over the past five or so years they haven't contacted me or attempted to find out how I am, my mam died in June and I'm looking after my eighty five yr old father who has leukemia he lives...
    vivmac vivmac 56-60, F Sep 23, 2013

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    Lost In Reality

    My two teenage daughters have disowned me. When they were babies, I divorced their father and moved away for one year. I decided to leave the girls with their father because I was moving to an unstable environment; no job, no place to live, etc. I didn't want my children to be in...
    seoulgirl72 seoulgirl72 41-45, F 3 Responses Aug 8, 2013

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    Lost My Daughter

    I guess it might seem a little extreme saying ,lost my daughter. But in all reality I think Sometimes that she is gone forever in one way or another. I've done a lot of research and in the least ,unless there is a miracle It could be years. I could be very detailed but I will be...
    Tohopeto Tohopeto 51-55 1 Response Mar 2, 2012

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    Heartbroken Over My Only Child

    Hi, I am new on here and have been struggling with being estanged from my only child, a daughter who is almost 20 now. I got divorced when she was 5 and we had an unusual arrangement (we had joint custody but she lived with me for a week and then with her father for a week). I...
    Deedee501 Deedee501 51-55, F 1 Response Mar 1, 2013

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    Our 34 year old daughter always said I was her

    best friend until 5 years ago when she started complaining that we treated her two older brothers better than we treated her. There were a few other complaints, but they always seemed to get back to the same issue. Then five years ago, she asked us to watch her 4 children for...
    3Z7c4 3Z7c4 61-65, F 4 Responses Mar 31

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    Happy Mothers Day!

    I am New here but I wanted to post Happy Mothers Day to everyone like me who gave birth to children who turned out to be mean little Heathens in abandoning us. Am I Angry? Yes.  Am I Hurt? Alot..       I will soon post my story. But Happy Mothers Day Anyway!
    Lonestar777 Lonestar777 46-50, F 3 Responses May 13, 2012

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    I haven't spoken to my 32 year old son in 4

    years. I still cry about it, especially during the month of the "sentinel" event. I still can't believe it actually happened. We'd had a good relationship, he'd been my 5:30 am company when we both got up for him for high school me work. We'd watch sports center, he'd always...
    confusedinmanyways confusedinmanyways 56-60, F 2 Responses Aug 30

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    Working At Having Self Respect

    I feel the pain of all parents whose children don't want them in their lives.  I have one child......a son.  He's now 42.  I took him out of my first marriage.......an abusive marriage..... before he was even two years old because I could see how badly it was...
    polgal333 polgal333 66-70 10 Responses May 24, 2010

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    2 Daughters Who Ignore Me (mom)

    We aren't estranged but almost. I have 2 adult daughters (ages 45 & 40) who still act like teenagers around me. I thought it would change when they became moms. Much of the time they simply ignore my e-mails, phone calls, etc. or answer a week or longer later. The oldest daughter...
    michelephoto michelephoto 66-70, F 4 Responses Jun 22, 2012

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    My Oldest Son Has Cut Off All Contact With His Family

    When this happens to a mom, it is humiliating, depressing and you feel so alone. Never would i have imagined others have and are going through this or that there is a group dedicated to us victims. So, thank you. My oldest son is now 23 and in the Army stationed in another state...
    LisaAJ LisaAJ 41-45, F 6 Responses Nov 20, 2013

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    It's taken me five years to accept,

    despite all the hurt that's been dished out, how little I mean to my son, and how superfluous I clearly am. I've got the message. I didn't want to believe it so I just kept on trying to be part of his life. It's been tough though and have been made to feel like the outsider...
    CosimaMcDonald CosimaMcDonald 61-65, F 3 Responses Apr 30

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    I have been estranged from my 37 year old son,

    only child, for about ten years. Reconciliation is doubtful. Twelve years ago, his friends embezzled my fledgling company. Though I was unable to obtain a conviction, I gained a 160,000.00 judgment. First, while they were stealing from me, he made up excuses, resulting in...
    Writer4kids Writer4kids 56-60, F 3 Responses Dec 23, 2013

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    I have twin girls born in 1988.

    My marriage was highly abusive and after 7 years I had to get out. I had custody until they were 13 then because of a comment that was disrespectful made by the oldest twin to me I slapped at her meaning to pop her mouth but I missed. I felt horrible about it and apologized and...
    trish03 trish03 51-55, F 1 Response Jul 11

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    I love this... SO SAD,

    BUT SO TRUE Mom, I Want You To Meet The Girl Who Will One Day Make Me Put You In A Nursing Home Commentary• Opinion• ISSUE 47•42• Oct 18, 2011 By Paul Norris I've got some exciting news, Mom. You know how you're always telling me to stop fooling around and settle...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Apr 20

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    I can relate to all of your stories.

    I have 3 children; 18, 15, and 7. My oldest daughter works and goes to school and to the public, is a generally decent person...I feel my raising her has played a significant role in that. I overly spoiled her for many years, due to being a single mom of my older two girls...
    ellemom ellemom 36-40, F Mar 1

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    Giving Up

    thats exactly what i have decided im going to have to do.. gosh ill try and shorten this as much as i can.. coz its a long long story that started back in middle school. i have 2 sons one is 25 (going on 5) and a wonderful 16 yr old. (that is very respectful never in trouble...
    momunderfire momunderfire 51-55 1 Response Oct 4, 2012

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    Help, Is There Anybody Out There?

    I would like to start some type of group for adults who have estranged children. I am curious if I am the only one. I am looking for peoplewho did not cause this rift because of their own behavior ( such as abuse, drug and alcohol problems, mental illness, extreme political or...
    bluejay2fly bluejay2fly 41-45, M 22 Responses Feb 21, 2012

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    I am a single parent of an estranged child

    for over a year now. I hurt and wrack my brain out every day as to what has happened between my daughter and I. She has turned our world upside down and hasnt allowed me one day of tranquility ever since ive been with my boyfriend of 4 years. She';s cold, callous, and...
    saraphim saraphim 41-45, F 5 Responses Feb 19

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    My son is 28. I raised him on my own

    as a single mom, I always worked very hard to give him a good life, we had a house, he had a good education, food, clothes and we even had horses because I wanted to do "outdoor" things with him too, not just girly things. My son wanted to start a music career at age 16, and...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Apr 14

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    Well this is my 1st time to post anything like

    this.... I have a 19 year old son that has deleted me out of his life. I have been the parent that he always came to when he needed anything. I am the one that comforted him when he needed it. Anyways to make a long story short my ex and I divorced 10 years ago he ended up...
    doodles76 doodles76 36-40, F 1 Response Oct 4

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    Just Bummed

    I had a fantastic relationship with my daughter all the years she was growing up. She is 30 now and though she lives two miles away and has been to my house maybe 4 times in two years. I go to her and her partner's house if I am invited. She has a non-profit that, unless I am...
    pmynx pmynx 51-55, F 2 Responses Nov 11, 2013

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    I am new to this forum

    and surprised to see there are many parents out there who are estranged from their children. My situation is not complete estrangement, but I am not included much in my two boys' lives. The hurt I feel is so heart wrenching especially when I see the close relationship they...
    Imagemaker630 Imagemaker630 56-60, F 2 Responses Aug 17

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    Abandoned

    It's late, I'm alone and despondent, I weep for my son. I miss him dearly and don't understand why he abandoned me, his dad, his brother, whole family, home. What can he be thinking? We had a good life, we supported his music efforts, scouting, friends. We took vacations, we...
    Beaner59 Beaner59 46-50, F 25 Responses Sep 8, 2009

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    Have not seen my 37 year old son [only child]

    for 5 + years. My heart feels bruised and I am so sad. Sometimes I can be driving to the supermarket and the tears will be rolling down my face. He wont tell me why. Sometimes the sadness is so intense, made worse by the fact that it is something so hard to share with others
    carriejust carriejust 56-60, F 3 Responses Aug 15

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    I have a 28 year old daughter

    who I haven't seen for over 2 years - she has cut off all contact with our family. I can't really talk about it right now. It is too hard to go there. I am just glad that I saw this post about Group for Parents of Estranged Children - I am part of this group. I am not ready...
    tryingagainII tryingagainII 56-60, M 1 Response Nov 7

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    My almost 19 year old daughter has chosen to

    completely cut me out of her life. It will be 1 year this June since I have seen her or had a conversation with her. It's a very long ugly story that's only turned worse over the past months. I have now chosen to detatch myself from my own parents who have turned a blind eye...
    AlizM AlizM 36-40, F 3 Responses Feb 4

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    He'S 35 Today

    I work nights so at times dates get away from me...but this morning as I was doing my paperwork the date jumped out at me like a coiled spring. My oldest son's birthday is today...he's 35 years old...my God how the time flies by. My son has had nothing to do with me since he...
    rzncne61 rzncne61 61-65 2 Responses Apr 24, 2013

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    I adopted 2 sons and my oldest son

    and he has reactive attachment disorder. he was fine as a child and when he hit middle school he got with the wrong crowd, didnt do his homework, took people's phones to look at bad things, stole money, I had to go after school with him to do his school work, he lost jobs for...
    MonicaOlivia69 MonicaOlivia69 41-45, F Apr 9

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    I'm not altogether sure we are supposed to have

    lifetime intimate relationships with our children. I am estranged from my son AGAIN for the seventh time. He is 46 yrs old. I have always left the door open for him to waltz back into my life as if he never left. He may find that more difficult this time as I have changed. I no...
    Ub12 Ub12 61-65, F 6 Responses Sep 19

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    Hi, I wish I had this website 15 yrs ago.

    My daughter was a huge challenge to raise and my husband and I were 18 and 20 when we started our family. We both came into this relationship with history of abuse in our individual families of origin. We had our son, 11 months later our daughter and fumbled our way through...
    wecair wecair 51-55, F Jan 27

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    My son has cut me off from his life

    for going on 2 years. Well, not just me but our entire family. All because of his wife. It's such a long story and one day maybe I'll be able to type it out or talk about it without crying. My husband, my other 2 children, my whole family, and I did nothing wrong.....but...
    missingpartofmyheart missingpartofmyheart 41-45, F 1 Response May 11

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    I raised three girls by myself

    for eight years as my husband was a loser. We struggled financially but I eventually found my current husband when the oldest was 9. Needless to say their step dad was strict but my girls all have 2 degrees each and their own mortgage. The problem is with my middle child who...
    5861bold 5861bold 56-60 2 Responses Mar 30

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    Cruel Son

    Our son is in his late twenties,engaged,working,and up until a year ago was the light of our life.  All this changed when my husband who had just had a triple bypass,said he could not use our ski boat for a holiday.  Well the **** hit the fan, which to be honest we did expect...
    1479A 1479A 51-55, F 8 Responses May 1, 2011

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    Why Are We Hurting So Bad

    As I'm reading these posts I'm beginning to realize the pain of all these parents. Especially moms. Whether it's 1 year, 5, 10, 20 years it seems the pain is always the same. Why can't we just heal? Maybe we need to realize that these adult children are selfish and narcissistic...
    janine407 janine407 46-50, F 1 Response Oct 6, 2013

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    So Happy To Have Found This Site...

    Hello everyone, I am very happy to have found this site this evening. Many of your stories have given me encouragement. Never in a hundred years would I have thought that I'd be in the position I am now. The pain from the situation that I am in with my adult children is...
    Kathleenelaineb Kathleenelaineb 51-55, F 1 Response Aug 16, 2013

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    I have three grown children - two sons

    and a daughter. I have a wonderful relationship with my oldest son and my daughter, but have had a rocky road with my middle son for the past five years or so. We always had a close relationship, but when he cheated on his wife and confided in me that information, things changed...
    separatedandhurt separatedandhurt 56-60, F Feb 11

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    Minimal Contact With Son For Three Years

    My son is 21. I got divorced 8 years ago . Left because the marriage was dismal and I was incredibly depressed. Got involved with the love of my life, but way too quickly. It muddied up the waters for sure, but I am incredibly happy now with him. My son had always had issues...
    ibabble ibabble 41-45, F 18 Responses May 12, 2010

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    I've always had a strained relationship with my

    daughter. I divorced her dad when she was around 5 and thought I was a very responsible single parent. Her dad was very much a part of her life and at a young age she had problems with jealously when it came to her half sister. My daughter always looked down and removed when...
    courageousmom courageousmom 66-70, F Apr 5

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    About me; I was married

    for 22 years. The first 15 were wonderful. The trouble began when my ex-wife took a managerial position. More money, power over others..... Our relationship detioriated thereafter. 2 years ago, she asked for a divorce. Throughout our marriage I remained faithful. Not a...
    calabriano calabriano 56-60 1 Response Mar 19

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    Estranged Adult Child

    I am the mother of an estranged adult child who I have not seen in three years.  I am hoping to reach out to other parents are experiencing this painful experience to share and to support one another.
    atshemi atshemi 56-60 92 Responses Mar 19, 2009