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I Had A Friend Commit Suicide

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 204 People

    Probably The Worst Part...

    ...was that I was the one that discovered his body. However it makes me feel just as bad that I felt virtually nothing after it all happened. Just numb. And not the kind of numb where you eventually break down and let out your emotions, but the kind where you've always been numb...
    Tuva Tuva
    31-35, M
    1 Response Aug 8, 2011


    Ive written so much about him that im still surprised to get emotional over writing about him again. I dont even know what to type honestly, ummm- i dont want to say the usual ****. He was great but, everyone seems to say that about whatever person that passed away. Even if...
    ViviChelise ViviChelise
    26-30, F
    20 Responses Oct 15, 2010

    My Best Friend..

    On September 7th, 2007; i lost my best (guy) friend to suicide. the feeling i had in my stomach when our principle came into our health class that morning and told us the devastating news was undesribable. tears flowed for days, at the funeral, it showed how much everyone loved...
    JOberhart JOberhart
    4 Responses Mar 31, 2008

    A Couple

    A girl i went out with for a short while. She was not the girl for me and we split. I liked her and she was a good girl and outgoing. A shooting star if you will. I miss her. I alway figured she couldn't keep up the pace she was going. And my cousin who shares my first name and...
    lloyd786 lloyd786
    46-50, M
    Mar 8, 2013

    I have something I want to talk about,

    something I rarely tell anyone. When I was 18 I went to New York, New York for the summer to visit some family members. My first time ever being in the Big Apple, I was enjoying every minute of it. A few days after I arrived, a friend from back home contacts me to let me know...
    agirlalone1 agirlalone1
    31-35, F
    1 Response Mar 27, 2014

    I Don't Know What To Think

    I haven't written anything in a very long time, and it feels strange to start again. I found out yesterday that a good friend ended her life. The part that surprises me is I'd only known her for half a year, and I only saw her for a few weeks of that time. I had traveled to...
    Axic Axic
    1 Response Jan 11, 2013

    Jaypee, Have A Safe Trip.

    i thought that the chance of attending a friend's funeral will come when i'm older. until just yesterday. and it's all you're fault. i still remember the days we used to play when we were 12. how i used to hate you because you were so little yet so aggressive and boastful with...
    mhel0w8 mhel0w8
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Sep 26, 2010

    Words That Mean Something.

    Step one you say we need to talk He walks you say sit down it's just a talk He smiles politely back at you You stare politely right on through Some sort of window to your right As he goes left and you stay right Between the lines of fear and blame You begin to wonder why you...
    craazzeecalamity craazzeecalamity
    41-45, F
    1 Response Nov 13, 2011


    It would be fair to say I knew her well but, obviously, not well enough to stop this happening. For that I'm ashamed.   This may not be an entirely true memory (the curse of Snakebite and Black) but the first time she caught my eye was at some party of my brother’s that she...
    CrookedMan CrookedMan
    Dec 27, 2011


    I had two very close friends commit suicide one about 11 years ago and another about 3 months ago both were females one a mother of two.  They both had spent a lot of time in psychiatric hospitals and on medication of one form or another.  These medicines made them feel worse...
    c4711 c4711
    36-40, F
    May 6, 2011

    I Feel So Sad For His Mother and Father

    There was a kid in my class at school who I knew since I was about 4. He was an energetic guy, great sense of humour, and always leading other impressionable young kids into trouble and mischief. His mother was a teacher in the school and he introduced my brother and I properly...
    speakerschair speakerschair
    Jun 30, 2009

    Rip Dj Bulldawg

    Earlier this month, my friend Bob decided to leave this life behind at the age of 47. I'm still shocked by the loss of my friend. He had a heart of gold and was a great soul. I can only hope this means a new and better beginning for him. You'll always be in my heart. May there be...
    lotusdrop lotusdrop
    36-40, F
    Nov 30, 2010

    Our House

    Senior year.  A house off campus.  All good friends, though not best friends.  It didn't matter.  We made our senior year as memorable as it was supposed to be.  Because of that, we all did a pretty good job keeping in touch over these many years. Until the past few years...
    deleted deleted
    2 Responses May 9, 2011

    I Will Never Understand

    I was there for him, I would stay up through the night chatting. I tried to help him find his lost sister. all for nothing, his pain was too great. I can never know how much his soul hurt. or why when he promised me he would let me know if he was feeling suicidal; that he didn't...
    reveur reveur
    46-50, F
    Nov 15, 2012

    I Don't Get It

    I found out earlier today from a mutual friend.  He killed himself last Sunday.  He has  son and people that love and care about him. Last I had heard and talked to him a few years ago things were going good.  He was clean and sober. Ya know things looking up...
    BlackWolfEternal BlackWolfEternal
    41-45, F
    Jun 24, 2008

    When I Was 18yrs Old...

    When I was 18 yrs old, I was dating a guy who was 21 yrs. old, "K".  I know love is blind, yadda yadda yadda, but he was great.  He had a great personality, was good-looking, had a good job, loved his parents and his little sister, etc.  "K" was...
    lovestinks lovestinks
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Sep 5, 2009

    Still Reeling

    I wish I could tell you this myself... I got to bed late last night - I fell asleep out in the car after I got home because I was sick. My head was spinning, my gut was churning... What was supposed to be a fun night ended on a bit of a sour note. Around 8:30am, I woke up in...
    TeenyOokami TeenyOokami
    26-30, F
    Mar 16, 2013

    Cindy.... I'm Sorry.... I Love You....

    Cindy was my neighbor... she was very sweet, beautiful, big-hearted, and tortured....  And I knew this... I knew she suffered... I knew she struggled with depression... I knew that her man wasn't there for her like he should be... hell, he hit on me one night... that was...
    SunshineEddy SunshineEddy
    31-35, F
    4 Responses Sep 20, 2009

    I Feel Compelled To Withdraw From This Group

    The re-titled group can be read to infer that I played a part in inducing my friend to commit suicide...which is totally inaccurate. I have informed EP that I felt the old title "I Had a Friend Who Committed Suicide" was far better, and that the current title is unacceptable...
    Dragon56 Dragon56
    61-65, M
    4 Responses Nov 7, 2011

    Last Call

    It took 39 years, an abusive father,a complacent mother,a true love that wasn't ,and ultimately,his own willingness to secumb,for him to build the walls,that only later,we would discover ,was nothing more or less than a personal tomb.I n hind sight,even if I didn't help lay the...
    diggler diggler
    41-45, M
    2 Responses Jan 26, 2013


    When I was young, there was this boy not far from where I lived, he committed suicide.  I felt bad, he was only fifteen. Someone had told someone, I will commit suicide.  Wow!  I just gotta say, people love to talk!   
    Whateverrrrr Whateverrrrr
    36-40, F
    Feb 5, 2011

    Miss You T <3

    Its been a week. She's all I can think about. She's the second friend I lost to suicide, and Its so hard to understand. She was so loved, so beautiful and so kind, funny... everything. Wish someone would have known, wish someone could have stopped her. I love you forever sweetie...
    RoseDawson RoseDawson
    18-21, F
    May 4, 2011

    I'm Still Pissed At Him 7 Years Later!

    My best friend literally drank himself to death. He got cirrhosis, and he found out early enough to do something about it, but he kept drinking anyway. All of our other friends kept making excuses for him, but I guess I look at it differently. He hurt me by dying so young, and it...
    chillsdavis chillsdavis
    56-60, M
    Jan 5, 2012


    My good friend Emma committed suicide on Tuesday, December 4, 2012. She was 16. It was such a shock that when my brother originally asked me about it, I told him it had to be a joke because I knew her & she would never do something like that. When I called her best friend & she...
    Idk91295 Idk91295
    18-21, F
    Dec 7, 2012

    R.I.P. Mikki

    I can't believe you took your own life ,smh I loved your smile it was so contagious.Everyone that had the privilege to meet you,really got to meet a outstanding,loving,and beautiful person inside and out.I knew you had some problems but I never dreamed it would end like this...
    deleted deleted
    May 11, 2013

    Lost Soul

    she was 14. i was 14. i can still remember exactly what i was wearing when i came into school that day and they told us she was gone. no one saw it coming. i mean i knew her homelife was bad. but i thought she was stronger than this. i guess i was wrong. the gun that took her out...
    metalgirl99 metalgirl99
    36-40, F
    May 20, 2011

    I Should Have Done More.

    I met this person online, we instantly clicked, and started dating, planning all the time to meet. We fell in love. I knew "he" suffered depression and suicidal thoughts, I had stopped him from killing himself before. He told me I was all he had, I made it all worth it. Until one...
    LaurT LaurT
    18-21, F
    Sep 27, 2012

    He Was Perfect But Didn't Know It.

    I met him online, on a suicide support site.  His name was James. He commented on one of my posts showing how depressed I was, and left his skype username so I could message him. I did, and we hit it off. We became friends quickly, and talked all the time. Eventually we swapped...
    LoreilDarksky00 LoreilDarksky00
    16-17, F
    Apr 1, 2012


    Tightrope- Yours was stretched so thin And all the while walking, Did you think no one listened When they heard you talking? It takes time to learn to balance On this fragile string; If we listened, could we hear the sound Of that which death sings? Your head up in the clouds...
    18-21, F
    1 Response Nov 6, 2012

    I Feel Useless

    I just found out that a friend killed herself today. Hung herself in her garage. I had no idea that she had any of these feelings. I worked with Audrey, when I first met her she was so sweet. Her beautiful red  hair in a bun, scrub top with skirts only, and no make up. I...
    nurse2nice nurse2nice
    31-35, F
    1 Response Jun 24, 2008


    He helped me cope with my suicidal feelings, apparently I couldn't help him...on New Year's Day 2013 at about 3 am my best friend shot himself in the head in front of his parents house..he was only twenty years old.
    Jakey21 Jakey21
    2 Responses Mar 9, 2013

    Oh Angel

    i had a friend Maggie that had 135 to live my friend Meridith lost to cancer and my friend cassidy comited suiside in 5th grade we hated each other but in 7th we where bffs she died on my birthday because she has 2 eating disorders and many more problames she killed herself...
    lianawolf lianawolf
    22-25, F
    Feb 12, 2013

    My First Love

    He was my first Mulder. He was 20. I hadn't seen him in a while as he had moved with his parents. He couldn't stay alone here. I don't know exactly why he did it. Even today it haunts me sometimes. We had met in highschool, he was about two years older than me. At first we were...
    deleted deleted
    May 27, 2012

    Never Saw This Coming

    I never really thought that something like this would happen, but I guess that just shows you how unpredictable life really is. A few weeks ago I lost one of my very best friends after he committed suicide. We hadn't seen each other in a while because he was in the marines but we...
    holly233 holly233
    22-25, F
    1 Response Aug 10, 2013

    I Lost My Young Friend To Suicide.

    I didn't realise how common suicide is. But you see my friend wasn't just a 'statistic' another number to join the masses. She was my friend, my living, breathing, laughing, bubbly friend. A young, intelligent, beautiful, empathetic and giving girl with her whole life abead of...
    aroundwonderland aroundwonderland
    26-30, F
    1 Response Nov 16, 2013

    Bad Things Happen To Amazing People

    We'd been friends since I was 13, dated when I was 15, and then we unfortunately lost touch. As of now, it's still a shock. I wish I'd figured it out sooner then today. He ended his life April 16, 2011, the day before my 18th birthday. I wish I'd kept better contact with him...
    xBnThrRckedThtx xBnThrRckedThtx
    22-25, F
    Dec 28, 2011

    13 years old, about a year older

    than me. Tried less than a week ago, only found out today. I was the first of many to know. She's safe, and doing well, but imagine if she had succeeded... When I say I've been through a lot for a child my age, I mean a LOT.
    HELPTAKENhelpused HELPTAKENhelpused
    26-30, M
    Nov 6, 2015

    The Recession

    "Yes" the recession is bad world wide I myself am slap bang in the middle of it here in Ireland. I have no heat in my house I can't afford the home heating oil. So now early on in the evening my two youngest children aged 10 and 12 crawl under a duvet in the sitting room with...
    c4711 c4711
    36-40, F
    3 Responses Mar 1, 2013

    I Miss Her!

    We told each other we would always be there for each other, and I was always there for you, even if it was at 2am in the morning. I valued our friendship more than anything else in the world, and thought it was the best thing in the world. We really got each other...
    deleted deleted
    3 Responses Oct 15, 2010

    She Was 16 And I Think I Could Have Helped Her

    My best friend commited suicide a week ago. I miss her immensely. She had such a bright mind, she was the smartest person I ever knew. She was interested in lots of things. She was learning Norwegian, she wanted to become a historian. She could have a great life yet she chose to...
    KnivesnCarnations KnivesnCarnations
    18-21, F
    Jan 9, 2013

    The Greatest Friend I've Ever Had

    Its been a few years since the day that one of the people who meant the most to me ever passed away. 5 years ago was when I had my first girlfriend and her name was Sadie. I never thought much of it at the time, it just seemed like the typical early teen boyfriend, girlfriend...
    kevin1993 kevin1993
    18-21, M
    Oct 15, 2012

    A few years ago, I found my closest friend dead

    in his apartment. It's a deeply disturbing experience that I won't ever forget. It starts a few months earlier. My friend began to stop taking care of himself or his apartment. His older brother (we'll call him J) and I were incredibly worried about him. He was deteriorating...
    ArdatLilith ArdatLilith
    Feb 13

    His Name Was Slade and He Was My First Love

    Slade and I started dating when I was 15 and he was 17. He was my best friend's brother and I loved him beyond measure. We lost his sister to an as*hole who slipped her a drug and she had a "bad trip". We were both trying to cope with the horror of seeing Tami die and...
    Sylverwynd Sylverwynd
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Apr 9, 2008

    My friend of 27 years took his life on Sunday

    night. I've never been so sad, and so confused as I am now. I miss him so much.
    sergie1980 sergie1980
    31-35, M
    Apr 22, 2015

    My Actions Are Not My Own

    Rather than writing out my experience, I thought I should share my This I Believe essay with you that I wrote for my college seminar class. I had to read it aloud to the class, and I'm not going to lie, it was incredibly difficult."There was a girl I met in high school. I got to...
    AutumnsMonologue AutumnsMonologue
    18-21, F
    Dec 29, 2011

    Beautiful Kati

    We met and instantly became friends in junior high. It was sophomore year in high school, new years eve. She invited me and a bunch of our friends over for a party, her parents agreed because they would be out to dinner and home by 1. She asked me to be there at 5:30 to help her...
    ImminentDisaster ImminentDisaster
    26-30, M
    1 Response Jul 30, 2009

    Still Reeling Part 2 (Aka Ostara)

    I wrote the last story I posted here, "Still Reeling," in the wake of a friend's suicide. Now that I've had time to sit and reflect on things, I decided that I wanted to remember my friend because of the life that he lived and not the way that he died. I wrote this in memory of...
    TeenyOokami TeenyOokami
    26-30, F
    Mar 20, 2013

    I Miss Her Soo Much!

    May 7th, 2007 my best friend, Rachel, shot herself in the chest. Rachel was the one person I knew that I could always depend on. She knew everything about my life and always knew just what to say to make everything okay. Rachel was the most amazing person I have ever...
    deleted deleted
    May 8, 2008

    A Sad Find...

    When we first met, we didn't like each other at all. In fact, we were enemies, if 2nd graders could be called that. As the years progressed, however, we gradually started to stand each other an I guess actually became friends only in the 6th grade. However, once we were, we were...
    EnigmaVest EnigmaVest
    22-25, M
    3 Responses Aug 28, 2009


    Wow.... six years....I still miss you so. I still remember everything that happened when the school consular told me, nicole, and jessica. We were left wondering, what we could have done, what more could have been said. I know you were in hell, and I wish i could have changed so...
    deleted deleted
    Oct 22, 2010
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