I Had An Abortion and I Feel Guilty

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 263 People

    You would of been still with me.

    . June 27th is the date they told me.. I will always remember the date I had the procedure, November 16th.. Ever since I decided to do the procedure is just another day I can't forget the choice I made.. You'll never understand until you go through it yourself, and after all...
    KatieMarieRose KatieMarieRose
    22-25, F
    5 Responses May 13, 2014

    I wrote this poem to process my feelings.

    I hope it helps you like it did me. "I knew I would love you" I knew I would love you From the moment that we met I knew I would hold you And I would never forget The look within your eyes The smile on your face The smell of your sweet skin The warmth of your embrace I...
    Toutvabien18 Toutvabien18
    26-30, F
    Feb 23, 2016

    I had an abortion in January.

    I found out I was pregnant on New Years Day. I am a college senior who is about to graduate and become a teacher in a few months. I have 5 jobs and am a full time student. I am a Christian and never thought in a million years I would have an abortion and since then I haven't...
    deleted deleted
    2 Responses Jul 20, 2015
    emmaline9 emmaline9
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Jan 30, 2016

    I suppose guilty isn't the correct phrase,

    but for lack of a better word. I had an abortion a year and a half ago… I guess I'm not still not dealing with it so well. I was never a person who thought I would get abortion. Never one that was against it but just never thought I would of course that is till it happened...
    helpme1993 helpme1993
    22-25, F
    4 Responses May 15, 2014


    It's been 12 hours since I swallowed the second set of abortion pills. Within 2 hours it was all over, and I made the mistake of looking at the little circle of almost life that came out of me. I feel so sad now.. I feel sad that I almost could have had a family with the love of...
    Marygilbert9 Marygilbert9
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Nov 15, 2013

    You were inside of me,

    but only for a little while You weren’t planned. You weren’t meant to come into my life, just not yet. I wasn’t ready for you, I couldn’t cope. I couldn't give you everything you needed. I couldn't make my heart feel Something it didn't You were an intrusion At least...
    YoungHeartOldSoul YoungHeartOldSoul
    18-21, F
    1 Response May 8, 2014

    I wish I could turn back time

    and take it back. I wish I'd never done it I feel so stupid now. I go through heartache every day knowing I done this. At the time it seemed like I was making the right choice and now I feel like it was the worst choice I've made. Maybe I'm over thinking it but it's killing me...
    Manthaxx Manthaxx
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Sep 14, 2015

    So maybe the page I had an abortion got deleted

    or something like that, but apparently my content was removed from ep bc it violated the terms...all I did was talk about my abortion and such. What the **** does that violate...
    lizkw lizkw
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Sep 27, 2015

    I haven't had much time to think about it

    lately, which is nice. But just a little while ago, I got a call from a place in my hometown called the pregnancy help center. It was there that I found out that I was for sure pregnant, after taking multiple tests at home. They asked if I wanted to be put down for a gift basket...
    reneeo11314 reneeo11314
    18-21, F
    1 Response Dec 4, 2014

    I never had an abortion,

    but I want you to name your child since there nameless in heaven just say "dear God name my child ____ if she is a girl or ___ if he is a boy, please for give me for what I did. But I know my child is with you now, thank you for forgiving me!" It should take some of the...
    EmojiGirl EmojiGirl
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Oct 2, 2014

    I had an abortion last summer i regret the

    decision ive made. I cant help but feel as though ive done something terribly wrong. The worst part is i swear that i can feel a gaping hole in my uterus and its a very uncomfortable feeling that makes me cringe every now and then. My body isnt the same anymore and ive ruined...
    loleets loleets
    31-35, F
    4 Responses Nov 21, 2015

    ever since ive had my abortion it has changed me

    for the worst. im not the same person as i use to be. my day to day life has different patterns of mood swings. ive gone from a happy bubbly person to a person that is dark inside. i have no one to talk to about it cos people have worse situations than me. For example i find it...
    cjay89 cjay89
    26-30, F
    3 Responses Sep 23, 2014

    I can't sleep, I can't eat.

    I think of things I didn't used to think about, like dying and being in darkness. I try to be happy but behind it all, when I am alone, I cry and I cry. I don't want to be sad anymore. I am a Christian and I don't agree with abortion, that is until I found myself in this...
    jackkeee jackkeee
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Mar 26, 2014

    so i am currently 17,

    and i am turning 18 in January. I have been with the same boy since middle school, and i love him madly as he loves me. This summer, we went to the beach, and i got VERY sick. I thought it was just period cramps. i then came to find out a week or few after getting home, i was...
    aluneadore aluneadore
    18-21, F
    1 Response Dec 19, 2015

    I Am A Christian That Had An Abortion And I Struggle With Grief/Sorrow/Guilt

    Hi, Reader: If you are a Christian (believe in Jesus Christ and what He did for you on the cross and you accept Him as your personal Lord and Savior ... John 3:16 and Romans 10:10 and 9) or a Messianic Jewish woman that has had an Abortion or a man that encouraged a woman to have...
    Tracy09052013 Tracy09052013
    3 Responses Sep 25, 2013

    It hasn't even been a week

    since I had it done. Yet all I can feel is guilt. I can't get over it.
    Kkgunny Kkgunny
    18-21, F
    5 Responses Apr 16, 2015

    I was engaged to be married

    and had been with him for 5 years. We have a little boy together and we were about a week away from our wedding before we canceled it for various reasons. We had alot if issues the past 6 months that we thought we could overcome and be happy together, but it didn't work out...
    Kelseyy12 Kelseyy12
    22-25, F
    Nov 4, 2015

    I Need Help

    I really want to talk to my mother about the abortion but I am to afraid. I just am so tired of hiding it from pretty much every one. I don't know what to do.
    LovelyCupcake LovelyCupcake
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Mar 29, 2013

    have any of you seen a therapist

    after the abortion? Do they help? do they understand the way you're feeling? .
    ethanj22 ethanj22
    26-30, F
    1 Response Jan 16, 2016
    lennyx91 lennyx91
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Sep 11, 2015

    I Need Some One To Talk To...

    I'm constantly depressed and I don't know what to do. I recently had an abortion that only my mum knows about and its tearing me apart. I have nobody to talk to about it and I regret the decision I made every minute of my life... I cant forget about it and I don't want to. I didn...
    UnknownTeenGirl UnknownTeenGirl
    18-21, F
    4 Responses Sep 12, 2013

    I had a terrible thought today.

    I don't know why this just occurred to me. I mean I guess I knew, but it didn't dawn on me in such blunt terms: my boyfriend paid for me to kill my baby.
    samhlani samhlani
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Dec 13, 2015

    I can't sleep tonight.

    Whenever I close my eyes I see myself further along in my pregnancy. I see the life I should be living. I see the cozy life that we would have. Enjoying the little things. Seeing us laying in bed, laughing about anything. I can feel the safety of his embrace and the love he has...
    nielle24 nielle24
    22-25, F
    1 Response Apr 2, 2016
    MsAnya MsAnya
    31-35, F
    1 Response Mar 14, 2016

    I've never talked about it,

    i guess its really hard for me. Its been 2 years and my beautiful baby is sitting with God right now, sometimes i feel like he's with me. Something always told me he was a boy. Im sorry baby :/
    MommyLovesChristan MommyLovesChristan
    22-25, F
    1 Response Jan 29, 2016

    I'm so sorry. I wish I could bring you into

    this world. I wish I could meet you. I'm so so sorry. I would be almost 6 months pregnant rn...
    deleted deleted
    May 23, 2015

    It's been over 4 months

    and instead of time healing everything, I feel like it's sinking in and getting worse... I wish someone could understand how much my heart hurts thinking about what might have been.. I'm seeing a counsellor, I've talked to suicide prevention hotlines, my boyfriend is amazing...
    lennyx91 lennyx91
    26-30, F
    Apr 22, 2015

    My boyfriend and I found out I was Pregnant

    when I was around 7 weeks. We aren't at the best point in our lives to bring a baby into the world. I am in love with him. The problem is, I am terrified of relationships. I'm scared of him hurting me. But somehow I know he wont. Sorry I'm rambling. We decided to end my...
    nielle24 nielle24
    22-25, F
    1 Response Mar 18, 2016

    Today is two years past what my due date would

    have been. How awesome would it be to have Halloween as a birthday? I wish I could say I was over this choice I made at 17. I wish I could say that my husband and I talk about it. I wish I could say that I haven't pictured my what my baby would look like at 2 a million of times...
    MandeSe MandeSe
    18-21, F
    Oct 31, 2014

    No Longer Guilty

    I did feel guilty. But I only felt guilty because I was 17 and wanted my baby. Unfortunately, I had think choose logically. I want to share my experience in hopes of helping many of you move past your guilt. I was 17 and a senior in the first semester of my last year of high...
    cemarie128 cemarie128
    22-25, F
    1 Response Oct 15, 2013

    my perfect little angel,

    nothing will ever break my heart more than the thought that i stopped yours. daddy and i loved you oh so very much but daddy loved someone else more. you see he was only fifteen, and didnt understand what you meant to him. he wants to go travelling and wants to be young. i...
    eviemay6 eviemay6
    18-21, F
    May 14, 2014

    Had a little get together with my boyfriend

    and all his friends last night. Everyone brought their babies with them and kept asking us "when am I going to get my little niece/nephew" . I literally wanted to die . Looking at all the babies and playing with them made me feel like I'm totally missing out on what could've...
    ReaP2 ReaP2
    2 Responses Jul 8, 2015

    I regret my decision more

    and more. At the start of this year I got an abortion and it was terrifying and I've always felt like I made the wrong choice and lately it's been getting to me a lot seeing loads of my friends having children. I really want my baby and there's nothing I can do
    Manthaxx Manthaxx
    18-21, F
    1 Response Aug 20, 2015

    I had an abortion in January this year

    and I still can't get over it. I always swore I would never have an abortion but then I fell pregnant whilst at university and was under pressure from people around me who assured me I couldn't manage to look after my baby. I regret it every day. It makes me miserable all the...
    ilmb20 ilmb20
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Sep 30, 2015

    It hurts again today.

    . Thought I was getting over it but I guess I'm not sigh When will this be over?
    lennyx91 lennyx91
    26-30, F
    4 Responses Aug 3, 2015

    When I found out I was pregnant it came

    as a major shock, I had being careful and was on the pill. My boyfriend was on very intense medication for a medical problem and was told not to have children as it is too dangerous for the baby and for me too. The baby would be at too high of a risk of heart failure or...
    ellaw26 ellaw26
    26-30, F
    3 Responses Oct 2, 2015

    Ok so I just signed up,

    after reading some posts on other groups I feel like this is the one, I've never talked about my experience with a stranger but I feel like talking to someone that has gone through what I have can be beneficial.. I had an abortion 2 years and 6 months ago, my baby was supposed...
    deleted deleted
    2 Responses Jul 8, 2015

    How do I forgive myself/get over it?

    I feel like I never will. I basically murdered someone and it's hard to face that fact about myself.
    sweetsydchris sweetsydchris
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Jul 12, 2014

    Hello, I just want to share my post abortion

    experience. I was pressured since i had my first c-section last 3 months ago and been diagnosed of post eclampsia and seizures. Had contraceptives but i failed so i got pregnant after 2 months postpartum . It was 5 weeks old, got an ultrasound and the sonologist said its still...
    mynameisnicz mynameisnicz
    26-30, F
    Oct 16, 2015

    Hi, I'm 23 years old

    and had an abortion about 3 months ago and having a really hard time dealing with it. It all started we my relationship broke down after 4 and half years together and a week later I found out I was pregnant. It was really hard because the boy I'm in love with didn't want to know...
    L13T L13T
    22-25, F
    1 Response Sep 7, 2015

    I captured everything in a poem.

    .. nervous to share but hope it helps you as it did for me. "I knew I would love you" I knew I would love you From the moment that we met I knew I would hold you And I would never forget The look within your eyes The smile on your face The smell of your sweet skin The warmth...
    Toutvabien18 Toutvabien18
    26-30, F
    Feb 23, 2016

    I know why I did it. I was only 16,

    even with my boyfriends help I would still need help. My family said they would "support me" meaning, they would pay for my baby and me as long as it was their rules. They wanted me to get an abortion. They wanted my baby to die. I disagreed, not wanting my baby to be supported...
    BlooRae BlooRae
    18-21, F
    4 Responses Apr 6, 2014

    Our Lord Jesus Christ is here to forgive you of

    your sins and you have no need to carry the weight of such guilt. There is help out there for you to start the healing process. Here is one website I know of. http://www.silentnomoreawareness.org/
    jmmoosey jmmoosey
    31-35, M
    Nov 4, 2014

    I guess it's time to open up.

    After I broke up with my ex (due to a hasty decision I made, even did it via text, well FML), my period didnt come. I was worried so took a HPT but it was negative, I decided to wait out a bit but still, my period didnt come until one day I had an odd bleeding so I was a bit...
    MotherOfTheodorus MotherOfTheodorus
    2 Responses Dec 7, 2013

    It's been four months

    since I had undergone the procedure and I think about it more and more everyday. When I first discovered I was pregnant I was so lost, the only thing I could bring myself to do was cry and cry and cry. My boyfriend was the one to suggest taking a pregnancy test because he...
    angelbaby4 angelbaby4
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Apr 4, 2014

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    chicagvr chicagvr
    22-25, F
    Nov 6, 2015

    Not So Teen Mom

    I was 23. But, the moment I found out I was pregnant with you, I felt 16. I had an apartment, school, job.. But, I never felt more alone. Your father.. Upon hearing the news was probably ******** bricks. Financially, you would've probably would've had all you needed. But, I made...
    jen2086277 jen2086277
    26-30, F
    Oct 15, 2013

    Well start by saying

    that things didn't turn out as I planned. I had a surgical abortion almost 2 months ago & it seems to only be getting worse with time. The days after the procedure I was fine, not too sad, but now I find myself crying every night. The image of my 6week ultrasound literally...
    beachgirl07 beachgirl07
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Apr 24, 2015
    lennyx91 lennyx91
    26-30, F
    Sep 7, 2015

    Scared To Death.

    I was 13 when I found out I was pregnant my boyfriend being 16 was scared. Our option was to abort... I never really thought it through. I told my dad and his girlfriend at the time and he helped me but I can't seem to shake the guilt. My boyfriend is no longer with me and I...
    CantSeemToStayTheSame CantSeemToStayTheSame
    18-21, F
    8 Responses Nov 10, 2013

    Cleaning/Baking is not good enough of a

    distraction. I'm trying to keep myself busy. Apply to internships, plan on taking trips to various places, trying to rearrange my room. Dumb tasks aren't helping. I just want my baby. I want to be able to talk about it freely with my boyfriend. I wish he wasn't okay with it...
    nielle24 nielle24
    22-25, F
    1 Response Mar 20, 2016

    I am in my second semester of college,

    and found out the day I finished my first semester that my boyfriend and I were pregnant. I have built my entire life around being a mother, it is all I have ever wanted, and the idea of having kids is what has stopped me from committing suicide multiple times. Now I am lost. I...
    mimi620 mimi620
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Feb 5, 2016

    I am 23 years old and had an abortion a few

    months ago. There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about it. It had to have been the worst decision. I feel absolutely awful. It has changed my whole aspect about life. It wasn't that I was ready but I got drunk one night and slept with an ex of mine and I shouldn't...
    suelen0507 suelen0507
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Dec 6, 2015

    I never really thought

    that I coukd get pregnant. I'm 24 years old and yes I am of good age to have children, I'm relatively healthy, but for some reason I just didn't think that I would ever get pregnant. Well surprise surprise! I was 6 weeks when I found out. I was a ball of hormones. My boyfriend...
    Keeshie Keeshie
    26-30, F
    1 Response Dec 5, 2015

    Hello, I am 20 years old,

    I got pregnant sometime in August and was around 4 and half weeks when I had my abortion. When I first found out I was pregnant, I was so happy, I kept looking at the pregnancy tests because I couldn't believe it was real. My boyfriend was so happy as well, more than I had ever...
    Maire268 Maire268
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Jan 28, 2016
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