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I Had An Affair

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 15,075 People

    Writing within the realm of salvageable

    marriages, I'm thinking, maybe one of the reasons why we have NC relapses is because we haven't really committed ourselves in repairing our marriages. Maybe ... we've gotten so used to enjoying the connections with our APs that we've forgotten how to connect back to our spouses...
    SundayGlory33 SundayGlory33 31-35, F 6 Responses a week ago

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    It's been over for a year.

    The toughest year in my adult life. I believe like everyone, I have an innate emotional intelligence that will direct me to my personal bliss. The affair woke me up to passion, like nothing else has ever done before. I'm more empathic, less judgmental & more open minded than...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 11 Responses May 27, 2014

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    I am a father of 2 boys.

    I've been married over a decade. I am a professional with a career, home and financial security. I have loving parents, loving dog and good friends. I am able to enjoy my sports teams and hit the gym 5 days a week. I am also an addict. As nat king cole sang, some call it...
    MyThermopylae MyThermopylae 46-50, M 15 Responses Nov 3, 2014

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      I'm back for my advice.

    Under a different name as for some reason I can't access my old account (old name dolly2016) I have decided to do some counselling and my first session will be next week. As my break up was solely my fault I am starting to believe I will never find any one as good as him...
    Dollygirl2016 Dollygirl2016 26-30, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    I am curious for those of you

    that are married and have ended your affair...how is your marriage doing? Have you been able to reconnect with your spouse after the affair? If so, how?
    StartingOver41 StartingOver41 41-45, F 7 Responses 3 days ago

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    I haven't had an affair.

    They require secrecy and that's against my value system and I think damaging to my relationship with my wife. I have had an ongoing regular sexual relationship with a woman who is not my wife while married. Except I was open with my wife about it before anything happened.
    rabb1trabb1t rabb1trabb1t 41-45, M 4 hrs ago

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    It was just sex. That is what the plan was

    anyway. We are both married, and yes, I know it's awful of us to seek comfort in each other, but we did. The first time we met for sex I was so nervous that I accidently locked my keys in my car. He had to call AAA to come open it for me. That sucked, but we still managed to...
    klady23 klady23 26-30, F 23 Responses Feb 23, 2015

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    Shocking Love Affair

    I must confess something here that I thought, I would never ever talk about in my life. But I have to admit, I had an affair. Yes I did, and now I have to live with it for the rest of my life. Here's my shocking story..... About two weeks ago, I cheated on my true love...I...
    LongLiveRockAndRoll LongLiveRockAndRoll 26-30, M 28 Responses Jun 25, 2012

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    I have come full circle with my affair.

    .. This was the most beautiful yet unhealthiest relationship I have ever engaged in.... I trashed my self esteem, my morals and my heart for this relationship. I loved with every fiber in my body and every cell of my brain yet I was slowly reduced to a friend with no possibility...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 8 Responses Dec 17, 2013

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    An affair... The beginning: The best part.

    The getting to know each other, the can't get enough, the spark, the passion, the excitement, the fun, the romance, the constant communication, you won't fall in love The middle: Still passionate, still exciting, still fun, still communicating regularly, the romance is still...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 14 Responses Feb 22, 2014

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    Expererience1954 I think you need to leave this

    group. By your experiences listed you have no need to be in this group. If you can't find anything nice to say then don't say anything at all. Not to mention you only ream those whom you pick so stop being a bully and move on. I say that because you responded to one of my post...
    Aloha2erhz Aloha2erhz 31-35, F 6 Responses Jan 31

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    Two Lovers, One Night.

    I'm afraid this is going to make me sound slutty. That is not really the case, i have just had weak moments in my life. I’m going to leave a lot of the mundane details out of this story to make it more interesting. This did happen several years ago but by highlighting the...
    emstioy emstioy 46-50, F 65 Responses Jan 8, 2012

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    I have cheated quite a lot,

    I'm a teenager it's not so uncommon but right now I am in a happy relationship and even greater an open one lol. As long I don't cheat emotionally I'm fine.
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jan 31

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    with a married man that ended tragically.

    I was left devastated, hurt, confused and an empty shell of a woman. All that I ever wanted in life was to be successful at any and everything I touched. I have a great career, loving family and a few close friends. I thought my life was content but needed a loving partner to...
    Hunniebae Hunniebae 26-30, F 10 Responses Apr 1, 2015

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    I'm an affair success story.

    In a short period of time, my life took a direction that I never thought possible. I never saw it coming, did things I never thought I was ever capable of, and struggled through some turmoil...but it took my life in a direction that was best for me. This is quite long, as I'm...
    happyasever happyasever 31-35, F 7 Responses Nov 23, 2014

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    I feel like ish, I talked to my sancho again

    and now I'm lonelier than ever. I haven't seen him but I have talked to him and I loved it. I really did. He was like don't disappear on me again blah blah, and there I go melting away saying all these dumb things. Now I'm in that limbo again of being here with my hubby and...
    XcookiexbakerXx XcookiexbakerXx 18-21, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    It's been over two months

    since his unexplained NC. The ups and downs I go through are so hard. Funny that I was nearly feet from him, and his wife, on Friday night (I was in a room next to him at an office)... And he still didn't contact me. I've started to realize that I quite possibly was his bipolar...
    infusedheart infusedheart 31-35, F 3 Responses 6 days ago

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    How you make him think

    that you are a psycho and he ended it with you. The final tomahawk. It is pretty hard on your system to be constantly maintaining a level of detachment. When I feel my thoughts are taking over in thinking of MM full time, I start feeling this sick buzz in my body. Whenever I...
    Fmina Fmina 51-55, F 10 Responses 5 days ago

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    Going away tomorrow with my husband.

    Looking forward to our time together. Hopefully time to do some reconnecting. I am hopeful but don't want to over pressurize the situation. Just wanted to say I am looking forward to it.
    pumpgirl pumpgirl 46-50, F 8 Responses a week ago

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    I'm in a fling... I slept with him a few

    times... He constantly reminds me to keeps my emotions in tact.. Its really annoying me. Every time we're together he detaches himself won't text for days afterwords if he does he's really cold.. I really don't like that about him. I promised myself if anything at all...
    Differentforever Differentforever 46-50, F 6 Responses 1 day ago

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    Dear Haters: I would like to give you an

    insight of a person that is currently involved in having an affair and giving this insight might give you a different opinion of us...might not agree with our actions but never judge someone before you know the entire story....so here it goes... We are human...we are daughters...
    excessbaggage excessbaggage 41-45, F 36 Responses Sep 16, 2014

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    Wanted to thank those

    who have read my story and offered support. I think just getting it out is going to be the most helpful. For 15 years I told not a soul. I need the support to put this behind me, to help me make fresh healthy choices and to forgive myself. I understand the argument that I am...
    pumpgirl pumpgirl 46-50, F 11 Responses Jan 31

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    I'm going to spend time with him today.

    . His text "wear shear white panties please...And no bra.. I want to lick you with your panties on... It's been a long while babe since I felt this way..." He brings out My sexual desires...
    Differentforever Differentforever 46-50, F 4 Responses a week ago

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    Feeling really good today.

    . Spent time with a the new MM man again yesterday..He's so into me, I love it! I will never ever waist my time again on a man that's not!
    Differentforever Differentforever 46-50, F 17 Responses Jan 23, 2015

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    I am married with kids,

    he is also married with kids. Going on since last November. I'm addicted to him and our trysts. I tried to end it on numerous occasions because I know it is morally wrong. Obviously that didn't last. I love what we have and love him too. It will never happen between us...
    SexyMomma37 SexyMomma37 36-40, F 17 Responses Mar 13, 2014

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    So after some thought

    and review of my own experience and others I have discovered the following. If you are involved in an affair there is something major missing from your marriage. We seem willing ( especially us women) to be used by our AP for their own satisfaction even at the expense of our...
    Freedomnow01 Freedomnow01 31-35, F 17 Responses Mar 27, 2014

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    Finally it is over! I never had the guts to

    block him but he is blocked in EVERYTHING! I do not want to go back to this life ever again... and I hope for all of you suffering from the on and off's of an affair, I hope you can clear all your burdens and feel free so you can love yourselves for who you are. Happy...
    Fmina Fmina 51-55, F 8 Responses 5 days ago

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    Affair With Son In Law, Now Pregnant

    I have searched all over the web for this situation and I have yet to find anything that remotely correlates.  I lost my job a few months ago and I moved in my eldest daughter and family.  I will admit right here and now that I have always had a crush on...
    littlejon63 littlejon63 46-50 351 Responses Mar 24, 2009

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    I am back from a 5 day conference.

    My husband went with me. Happy to say we had a lovely time. Can't say I didn't think of the MM. He crossed my mind..it's a process. But I am hopeful..as I was able to push thoughts away quickly and with a confidence of finality that I don't usually have. I won't compare. I...
    pumpgirl pumpgirl 46-50, F 7 hrs ago

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    We had met and got instantly lost in a riveting

    conversation at an evening function. Looking around after a while, we noted the place had emptied. Standing alone, we were the last two people to leave. Time had stood still. We giggled and parted politely, promising to chat again soon. A month or so later, I saw you at a...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 12 Responses May 6, 2015

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    140 days NC. Why am I falling backwards?

    ? I was doing great until lately I've been missing him a lot. The past one week I just wanted to curl up and go back to sleep. Sometimes I wonder why do I even bother getting up, doing my hair and put on my makeup to go out. He's no longer there to tell me how great I look, etc...
    marissa0504 marissa0504 31-35, F 9 Responses 6 days ago

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    Dear Wife, Your husband has been cheating on

    you for 10 years with all different women, he never engaged in relationships, just sex. Until he met me. The first time it happened, I felt bad, but not really, it was only going to be that once. Of course, though, it didn't stay that way. After then we got to know each...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 10 Responses Feb 13, 2015

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    why do people like to call the ap women home

    wrecker??!! Come on... So sad to hear people say that.. It's ignorant, judge mental and so much more...truth is... If the home wasn't off to begin with the affair wouldn't have happened. It takes two people to make an affair work. So if anyone is a home wrecker it's the dam...
    ventingagain ventingagain 36-40, F 27 Responses Nov 19, 2014

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    What a storm in a teacup affairs really ARE.

    .. All contained within the walls of our hearts and minds, never to see the light of day. Haunting in their hidden beauty and their memorable "one liners". Covered with innuendos and lies just to have that one more hug, one more look, one more talk, one more kiss, then one more...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 22 Responses Oct 13, 2014

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    More Like, 'my Affair Had Me'

    my affair did have me - for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. it chewed me up, spit me out, and i have yet to recover. we were in love, and probably still are (i definitely am) but ultimately it was my choice to end it - i didnt want to end my marriage for various reasons and knew...
    IJustWantYouToKnowWhoIAm IJustWantYouToKnowWhoIAm 31-35, F 23 Responses Dec 26, 2011

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    Today, urged on by an EP friend,

    I deleted the Hotmail account that I had used exclusively, off and on, to correspond with my OW between 2006 and 2013. In there were the early love notes when we were exploring the possibility of crossing the line. I also kept some sad ones from the times that we were apart at...
    Wilbury Wilbury 46-50, M 17 Responses Jan 15, 2014

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    He's a drunk. He woke up at 8pm thinking it

    was morning. He showered and got dressed for work. I watched the entire freak show.. So sad. I need to get out of this marriage. It's toxic. He's crazy one minute then loving the next. It's insane. Having the affair was an escape... I'm a coward. I took the...
    Differentforever Differentforever 46-50, F 33 Responses Jun 4, 2015

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    It's wasn't exactly an affair I'm single he has

    a girlfriend it's not gone past texting I felt like he was slow fading me out so I just stopped texting so did he has been 2 weeks now was starting to feel better then he goes and likes my photo on Instagram ...why do I always want what I can't have why do I always want the guys...
    winterusa winterusa 36-40, F 3 Responses 4 days ago

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    Rough day of NC. Ugh.

    ... But, I did it. At least I have my wine to end the day.
    RLaney RLaney 36-40, F 3 Responses 4 days ago

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    Why do you call me 'Love'?

    ... I hope you do not mind me asking. I call you love because you are one of my closest friends... unless you do not want me to call you that. I prefer you do not. Ok then. bye.
    Fmina Fmina 51-55, F 4 Responses 6 days ago

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    I really miss my ex mm.

    It's been months since we had any contact. I've had more contact with the W. I hope that some day we will be able to talk again. I miss our conversations. He was so easy to talk too.
    Mshine944 Mshine944 41-45, F 5 Responses 6 days ago

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    I Could Help It

    It started about 4 months ago in the grocery store i caughgt a guy about 23 watching me it kind of creaped me out and excited me at the same time seeing that my husband isnt interested anymore.So i paid for my things and headed for my car. As i turned around that guy had folloed...
    imsweetenough imsweetenough 31-35, F 179 Responses Dec 30, 2011

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    I have reread my first two posts

    and realized I didn't mention an important part. We BOTH decided to end this not just me. For what ever reason...I didn't mention it. I don't know why really.
    pumpgirl pumpgirl 46-50, F Feb 1

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    I asked myself today,

    what did I learn from all this? The lesson for me is *Stay the heck away from a married man!* Until now, I kept convincing myself that he was separated when I met him.. his wife had a kid from another guy... she was a B and a User and a cheater.. yada yada yada. Time to fess...
    Fmina Fmina 51-55, F 37 Responses Feb 10, 2015

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    I got married to my partner in September 2015

    after 9 years together 2 months before the wedding i started an affair which lasted right up to the week before the wedding and i seen him once after. My partner found out 10 weeks after we got married and left me. It has been 7 weeks and whilst I am slowly accepting the...
    dolly2016 dolly2016 26-30, F 13 Responses Feb 2

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