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I Had An Affair

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 14,132 People

    Do you ever wish you could meet done of the

    friends you have made on here.....the ones who know everything about you but never judge you? We can't have these conversations with our friends (or many of them. I think we all have at least one that we trust enough to tell) ....they might judge/spill our secrets. But out...
    sallyanne44 sallyanne44 41-45, F 21 Responses Jul 30

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    "How do you know for sure you loved him?

    " "Because it feels like someone died. You don't grieve lust."
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 11 Responses Mar 22

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    An affair... The beginning: The best part.

    The getting to know each other, the can't get enough, the spark, the passion, the excitement, the fun, the romance, the constant communication, you won't fall in love The middle: Still passionate, still exciting, still fun, still communicating regularly, the romance is still...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 10 Responses Feb 22

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    After the experience with my husband

    and MM i am starting to believe in a phrase once unlucky always unlucky.What about you guys?Do you believe in it?
    kimlife kimlife 31-35, F 4 Responses 4 days ago

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    More Like, 'my Affair Had Me'

    my affair did have me - for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. it chewed me up, spit me out, and i have yet to recover. we were in love, and probably still are (i definitely am) but ultimately it was my choice to end it - i didnt want to end my marriage for various reasons and knew...
    IJustWantYouToKnowWhoIAm IJustWantYouToKnowWhoIAm 31-35, F 25 Responses Dec 26, 2011

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    Question for chesters

    why is it that you hate the person your cheating with if they don't call you ever day or if the get morals all of a sudden. Your cheating to aren't you just as wrong as them.
    tobad8 tobad8 41-45, M 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    He Doesn'T Know

    But I'm getting ready to leave him. He doesn't know. The love of my life. The most beautiful man that should be mine. All the promises I made him. I will break. He won't leave me ever. He has no reason to. I can't compartmentaliZe. Im not a box. And he's my world. The playing...
    mysecretworld mysecretworld 36-40, F 16 Responses Nov 4, 2013

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    How to stop this stupid heart going back to

    places where it has been hurt so many times?
    kimlife kimlife 31-35, F 4 Responses 4 days ago

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    OK so I met MM this morning at early wee hours.

    The time we were away from each other, he found solstice in watching and listening to self-help videos and audios. The material is of religious nature. Everyday, he spent an hour listening. He was not ready to contact me again. I was quite surprised actually. I thought...
    Fmina Fmina 51-55, F 8 Responses 2 days ago

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    After almost 5 months of the most intense ride

    ever, my affair is over. We were (are) insanely in love with eachother. We were together on Friday the 5th and it was incredible. On the 6th I received a text from him stating that his daughter tried to kill herself. He would be unreachable for the day. I got a text later...
    tauriangirl tauriangirl 36-40, F 29 Responses 6 days ago

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    Koalaclover Koalaclover 36-40, F 1 Response 8 hrs ago

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    What a storm in a teacup affairs really ARE.

    .. All contained within the walls of our hearts and minds, never to see the light of day. Haunting in their hidden beauty and their memorable "one liners". Covered with innuendos and lies just to have that one more hug, one more look, one more talk, one more kiss, then one more...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 21 Responses Oct 13

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    So after some thought

    and review of my own experience and others I have discovered the following. If you are involved in an affair there is something major missing from your marriage. We seem willing ( especially us women) to be used by our AP for their own satisfaction even at the expense of our...
    lovinglife11 lovinglife11 31-35, F 19 Responses Mar 27

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    "at first, when we truly love someone,

    our greatest fear is that the loved one will stop loving us. what we should fear and dread, of course, is that we wont stop loving them, even after they are dead and gone"...learning it such a hard way !!
    itszack itszack 36-40, M 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    As many of you have read,

    I had an affair with a single man (I checked out of my marriage a few years prior doe to verbal abuse and alcoholism). I left my ex husband and live together now with my AP for a year and a half. It has turned out to be the greatest love we have both ever known, as well as a...
    happyasever happyasever 31-35, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    Men in affairs: Do you celebrate your wedding

    anniversary? If so how? Do you try harder out of guilt if you are having an undisclosed affair or do you try to just get through the day? Women: your thoughts?
    just2night just2night 41-45, F 8 Responses 1 day ago

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    I have done some ****** things in my life just

    like cheating own my wife. But I never did something as ****** as having my cheating partner around my wife that's a new low.
    tobad8 tobad8 41-45, M 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    why do people like to call the ap women home

    wrecker??!! Come on... So sad to hear people say that.. It's ignorant, judge mental and so much more...truth is... If the home wasn't off to begin with the affair wouldn't have happened. It takes two people to make an affair work. So if anyone is a home wrecker it's the dam...
    ventingagain ventingagain 41-45, F 33 Responses Nov 19

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    Blah blah blah! Completely over affair

    and nothing to write about:)
    ventingagain ventingagain 41-45, F 1 Response 28 mins ago

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    I hope... ...Every day

    when you wake up, you miss the good morning texts and calls we shared. ...Every night you think about how we would say " goodnight love bug." ...When you see a woman with auburn hair, you think about how you loved to wrap my curls around your fingers when we kissed. ...You...
    Urbancowgirl Urbancowgirl 36-40 11 Responses Dec 16, 2013

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    Keep myself busy but never worked Sadness will

    attack on me at anytime 'Busy' is like escape from the reality/truth for just a short period only
    YoursTruly88 YoursTruly88 26-30 6 days ago

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    Time doesn't heal. Only you yourself on how

    you change your thought your mind until you see/face the reality that he/she won't contact you anymore then you will give up totally
    YoursTruly88 YoursTruly88 26-30 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    Today, urged on by an EP friend,

    I deleted the Hotmail account that I had used exclusively, off and on, to correspond with my OW between 2006 and 2013. In there were the early love notes when we were exploring the possibility of crossing the line. I also kept some sad ones from the times that we were apart at...
    Wilbury Wilbury 41-45, M 20 Responses Jan 15

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    So it's been a week tomorrow

    and I haven't made any effort to contact him. He hasn't contacted me either. We weren't fighting or anything. I just decided that I should take some space before I got too wrapped up in it all again. I have no idea why he hasn't made any attempts from his end but I suspect he is...
    lovinglife11 lovinglife11 31-35, F 4 Responses 19 hrs ago

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    I'm an affair success story.

    In a short period of time, my life took a direction that I never thought possible. I never saw it coming, did things I never thought I was ever capable of, and struggled through some turmoil...but it took my life in a direction that was best for me. This is quite long, as I'm...
    happyasever happyasever 31-35, F 8 Responses Nov 23

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    It's been over for a year.

    The toughest year in my adult life. I believe like everyone, I have an innate emotional intelligence that will direct me to my personal bliss. The affair woke me up to passion, like nothing else has ever done before. I'm more empathic, less judgmental & more open minded than...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 15 Responses May 27

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    Struggling Reconnecting With Husband After My Affair!

    I feel at rock bottom. So so low. I feel like I am in a bubble and can't connect with anyone. I am still missing my OM even after months have gone by. My feelings ran deep. I am frustrated that the relief I felt at ending the affair has been replaced by pining. I miss him. It's...
    Angeleyes789 Angeleyes789 46-50, F 26 Responses Nov 23, 2013

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    Been 4 days since I last heard from him.

    I'm going to have a chat with him about what my thoughts are. I feel like he isn't all in. I'm going to tell him that he needs to decide where he stands. **** or get off the pot!! I'm not playing games. It's a huge waste of everyone's time. Either he wants to do this or he doesn...
    lovinglife11 lovinglife11 31-35, F 6 Responses 3 days ago

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    I ask myself on this question many many times

    'what if he came back one day?' Well I won't take him back. Why? Definitely I do not want the child living in incomplete family and he got kicked out by his families and friends
    YoursTruly88 YoursTruly88 26-30 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    I'm married to a wonderful man

    and have two beautiful children but I have been having an affair with a MM for over a year. It's been a tremendous experience for me, both good and bad, and I don't know if I ever want it to end. Lots to talk about sometime but just saying hi to you all for now. I'm so glad I...
    Wikedangel Wikedangel 36-40, F 18 Responses Jan 4

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    Dear Haters: I would like to give you an

    insight of a person that is currently involved in having an affair and giving this insight might give you a different opinion of us...might not agree with our actions but never judge someone before you know the entire story....so here it goes... We are human...we are daughters...
    excessbaggage excessbaggage 41-45, F 38 Responses Sep 16

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    Maybe you're reading this

    because you are having an affair or had one already or maybe you are thinking about doing it. I can't give advice because I have no clue. All I know is I am recovering and it's been a long recovery. I think the most surprising aspect was the emotion that came with this...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 19 Responses Jan 4

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    He text me last night

    and my heart jumped. I desperately wanted to respond but I didn't. He wanted to see me over the weekend but I didn't meet him. I love him so much and want to lie in his arms like I used to. But I can't. I know it's not a good situation for me. I can not take the guilt that comes...
    Australianladybug Australianladybug 31-35, F 17 Responses Mar 3

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    I have come full circle with my affair.

    .. This was the most beautiful yet unhealthiest relationship I have ever engaged in.... I trashed my self esteem, my morals and my heart for this relationship. I loved with every fiber in my body and every cell of my brain yet I was slowly reduced to a friend with no possibility...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 11 Responses Dec 17, 2013

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    A different situation.

    Analysts sometimes exert considerable time and effort contending that "If the situation were different, I'd know what course of action to take" or "If the marketing manager hadn't already foul things up so badly, the firm wouldn't have a problem." Such reasoning ignores the...
    HurtsEverywhere HurtsEverywhere 31-35, F 11 Responses 4 days ago

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    I am having a hard time letting go

    and feel tormented. For me, it is one of the worse feelings in the world when you want to talk to your lover and can't...or they are unresponsive to your requests...it hurts and there is nothing you can do about it because they don't belong to you. The memories and good times...
    Dreamgirl75 Dreamgirl75 36-40, F 24 Responses Apr 10

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    My heart is aching. I love my affair partner

    so much. The end is so close I can taste it. My mind was filled of thoughts of him today. He is my true love, the one that got away do to say😧. I know the reality is its just an affair and the time is not right for us. But the heart wants what it wants.
    nitrolove nitrolove 46-50, F 7 Responses 2 days ago

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    Many people who have been in an affair say

    that the AP always comes back... He ended the physical affair in early September out of depression and extreme guilt. For about 5 weeks after that, we had limited contact via messaging and short phone calls that included the occasional "I love you" or "I miss you." At the end...
    Koalaclover Koalaclover 36-40, F 5 Responses 6 days ago

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    Two Lovers, One Night.

    I'm afraid this is going to make me sound slutty. That is not really the case, i have just had weak moments in my life. I’m going to leave a lot of the mundane details out of this story to make it more interesting. This did happen several years ago but by highlighting the...
    emstioy emstioy 46-50, F 68 Responses Jan 8, 2012

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    I'm thinking of ending it.

    Writing him a 'dear John' letter, saying I won't be in touch, so that it forces me not to get in touch. To those that have ended an affair, how long did it take you to stop missing him or her? My affair has been going on, on and off, for two years. I can't take it any more, it...
    ginwig ginwig 46-50, F 5 Responses 3 days ago

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    No not really. Sorry to disappoint you

    but you ladies in your 40s might want to hear this anyway. I have been crazy with thoughts about affairs and really any idiot has been looking like Brad Pitt to me since last December. I was unhappy, depressed and even put myself in the situations that could have ended up with...
    discovery5 discovery5 41-45, F 17 Responses Apr 25

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    Affair With Son In Law, Now Pregnant

    I have searched all over the web for this situation and I have yet to find anything that remotely correlates.  I lost my job a few months ago and I moved in my eldest daughter and family.  I will admit right here and now that I have always had a crush on...
    littlejon63 littlejon63 46-50 353 Responses Mar 24, 2009

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    Today I started watching a series on Shotime

    called "The Affair" Every episode tells both sides of the story. The writer puts an emphasis on the fact that when you meet someone and fall in love, both of you remember different details depending on your life situation and your frame of thinking at that time. I like that...
    AnnUrban AnnUrban 22-25, F 7 Responses 3 days ago

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    My Husband's Best Freind

    I t was exactly 1 yr ago. I was so depressed and ready to give up on ever being happy. My husband at the time was being very emotionally and verbally abusive. I got an e-mail from my husband's best freind. He was wondering how we were doing, and needed to talk. He had just split...
    hotandcuddly hotandcuddly 51-55, F 46 Responses Sep 1, 2011

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    My current MM and I started out having just a

    sexual relationship and promising each other that we would not fall in love. We would always tell each other "I lust you." It's been this way for 7 months but now I'm starting to worry that he has deeper feelings for me. We really enjoy each other and the sex is incredible...
    KathyJ304 KathyJ304 26-30, F 7 Responses 4 days ago

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    Dear Jonathan And Our Two Children.....i'm So Sorry.

    Tomorrow 01/13/13 is the1 year anniversary of my relationship with the man I'm having an affair with, the man I compromised my entire life for, the man I chose over my family when I got caught 6 months ago, and the man I currently live with today. And 1 year ago tomorrow I...
    Annie3321 Annie3321 26-30, F 86 Responses Jan 12, 2013

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    "You men live your lives

    while it is we who have to wait," says Nelly Ternan (from The Invisible Woman) I guess this is true to all affairs, the infinite waiting. I'm finding myself constantly wondering if I am thinking too much or I am thinking too little... It felt like butterflies in the stomach...
    stephlee99 stephlee99 26-30, F 19 Responses 5 days ago

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    When it ended for me 9 months ago,

    I didn't want to hear about Time being the healing factor, because time was just an inanimate word and the burning pain in my chest and soul could not be soothed. Time was a vacuum.. a void. Being in 2 relationships never made sense to me. It's some kind of "temporary...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 9 Responses Jan 10

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    It's officially over!

    I saw his true side and I finally was strong enough to end it. I am hurting but relieved at the same time. This has definitely been a learning experience for me. :( I know in time I will get stronger each and everyday. Thank you to all to my EP friends for your support and...
    Cheeks2014 Cheeks2014 36-40, F 27 Responses Jan 19

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    Note to self:hard to build trust in an affair.

    ... If it's even possible.,,, which I honestly doubt!!!! ******* sick of feeling this way!!!! Depressed for an entire year!!! Minor highs with major and longer lows!!! Aaaaargh!
    zoey3000 zoey3000 31-35, F 8 Responses 4 days ago

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    I am married and in an affair with a married

    man. We started 5mths ago and its a lot if fun. But the highs are great but the lows are so distracting when all i want to do is contact him or see him. It sends me a bit crazy. Does anyone have any good techniques to stop this roller-coaster thoughts or its just part of the...
    tan999 tan999 31-35, F 9 Responses 2 days ago

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