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I Had An Affair

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 14,251 People

    I'm so lost.. So lonely.

    . I don't know where to go.. I don't like myself anymore.. He ruined me.. I'm so different forever.. I HATE it.. God I miss him.. Who do I turn to? Nobody I feel sick inside.. I'm so lost..
    Differentforever Differentforever 46-50, F 13 Responses Jan 14

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    An affair... The beginning: The best part.

    The getting to know each other, the can't get enough, the spark, the passion, the excitement, the fun, the romance, the constant communication, you won't fall in love The middle: Still passionate, still exciting, still fun, still communicating regularly, the romance is still...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 11 Responses Feb 22, 2014

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    why do people like to call the ap women home

    wrecker??!! Come on... So sad to hear people say that.. It's ignorant, judge mental and so much more...truth is... If the home wasn't off to begin with the affair wouldn't have happened. It takes two people to make an affair work. So if anyone is a home wrecker it's the dam...
    ventingagain ventingagain 31-35, F 31 Responses Nov 19, 2014

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    Knowing the idea of NC I shouldn't

    even be friends with him on Facebook, but I am. Obviously his wife is too and constantly tags him in posts (regarding the kids) but I couldn't help my curiosity. .. I looked. I found comments from her talking about how good he is to her and how loving...yet....all the time...
    lexabear15 lexabear15 26-30, F 9 Responses 4 days ago

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    After talking to mm just like friends last week

    made me realize that I can't talk to this man like a friend ever. We can't really be friends. Either lover or nothing at all. It's black and white in this matter of our relationship. We still exchange emails here and there, I was the one wanted to know how his busy life is...
    Bottleoflove Bottleoflove 31-35, F 6 Responses 1 day ago

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    Today, urged on by an EP friend,

    I deleted the Hotmail account that I had used exclusively, off and on, to correspond with my OW between 2006 and 2013. In there were the early love notes when we were exploring the possibility of crossing the line. I also kept some sad ones from the times that we were apart at...
    Wilbury Wilbury 41-45, M 21 Responses Jan 15, 2014

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    "A conscience never burdened you No empathy to

    slow you down Others were there for you to use Like hapless ships you ran aground How can you sleep? The world burns at your feet How can you forsake The casualties you leave in your wake? You lied like other people breathe Speaking a twisted lexicon To get your way by any...
    broken418 broken418 22-25, F 1 day ago

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    It's been almost two months

    since she left her husband. When she told him why, in a big long email, he replied line by line, minimizing every one of her concerns and even directly belittling her. There was no, "But honey, I miss you and I love you." What a fool. Instead of listening to her, he says...
    pcflvly pcflvly 46-50, M 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    What a storm in a teacup affairs really ARE.

    .. All contained within the walls of our hearts and minds, never to see the light of day. Haunting in their hidden beauty and their memorable "one liners". Covered with innuendos and lies just to have that one more hug, one more look, one more talk, one more kiss, then one more...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 22 Responses Oct 13, 2014

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    I am a father of 2 boys.

    I've been married over a decade. I am a professional with a career, home and financial security. I have loving parents, loving dog and good friends. I am able to enjoy my sports teams and hit the gym 5 days a week. I am also an addict. As nat king cole sang, some call it...
    MyThermopylae MyThermopylae 41-45, M 17 Responses Nov 3, 2014

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    If men in affairs are truly cake eaters,

    why are so many men on here in such turmoil? Why won't they choose? What is it that hurts them in an affair?
    just2night just2night 41-45, F 16 Responses 6 days ago

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    My Husband's Best Freind

    I t was exactly 1 yr ago. I was so depressed and ready to give up on ever being happy. My husband at the time was being very emotionally and verbally abusive. I got an e-mail from my husband's best freind. He was wondering how we were doing, and needed to talk. He had just split...
    hotandcuddly hotandcuddly 51-55, F 44 Responses Sep 1, 2011

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    The different types of Love: Lustful-lots of

    butterflys, passion amd always wanting them but not much emotions. Practical love -They are a good fit and you get on very well but nothing too exciting. Banquet Love - making sacrifices and being selfless for the other person. Mania - an obsessive love that, while intimate and...
    tan999 tan999 31-35, F 6 Responses 4 days ago

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    More Like, 'my Affair Had Me'

    my affair did have me - for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. it chewed me up, spit me out, and i have yet to recover. we were in love, and probably still are (i definitely am) but ultimately it was my choice to end it - i didnt want to end my marriage for various reasons and knew...
    IJustWantYouToKnowWhoIAm IJustWantYouToKnowWhoIAm 31-35, F 25 Responses Dec 26, 2011

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    So it's been over 2 plus years it was love it

    was real love he ended it to do the right thing by his wife who was in a bad place I let him go he made his choice he went and I let him. After years of nothing he finally breaks the silence indirectly to let me know he still cares. I still love him and I want to tell him that...
    lostmyselfgirl lostmyselfgirl 31-35, F 7 Responses 3 days ago

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    Dear Haters: I would like to give you an

    insight of a person that is currently involved in having an affair and giving this insight might give you a different opinion of us...might not agree with our actions but never judge someone before you know the entire story....so here it goes... We are human...we are daughters...
    excessbaggage excessbaggage 41-45, F 38 Responses Sep 16, 2014

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    Hi all. It's been a while

    since I posted... I once said that falling in love is falling in love (no matter what situation you're in). Heartbreak is also heartbreak... Here's an article I recently read about heartbreak. I hope that it can help someone... http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2012...
    Koalaclover Koalaclover 36-40, F 1 Response Jan 17

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    No not really. Sorry to disappoint you

    but you ladies in your 40s might want to hear this anyway. I have been crazy with thoughts about affairs and really any idiot has been looking like Brad Pitt to me since last December. I was unhappy, depressed and even put myself in the situations that could have ended up with...
    discovery5 discovery5 41-45, F 17 Responses Apr 25, 2014

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    Leave for love or stay out of obligation?

    Is that what it comes down to?
    Blueeyedboy70i Blueeyedboy70i 41-45, M 13 Responses Jan 18

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    Everything's gonna be alright.

    . Something clicked inside me ..I'm not sure what.. I'm at peace. My rebound fling ended four days ago.. It served its purpose. He bought back ALL of my self confidence that was buried so deep inside of me. He played a huge part in helping me to get my focus off of MM...
    Differentforever Differentforever 46-50, F 9 Responses Jan 18

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    Feeling really good today.

    . Spent time with a the new MM man again yesterday..He's so into me, I love it! I will never ever waist my time again on a man that's not!
    Differentforever Differentforever 46-50, F 22 Responses 3 days ago

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    H was commenting that I was

    so unhappy the past two months. That was when the break up with AP happened. He said I was happier before, and he felt that he could concentrate at work knowing all's well with me. Irony. H thinks I am happy with home life when I am in an affair. H thinks I am unhappy with home...
    HurtsEverywhere HurtsEverywhere 31-35, F 5 Responses Jan 15

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    Struggling Reconnecting With Husband After My Affair!

    I feel at rock bottom. So so low. I feel like I am in a bubble and can't connect with anyone. I am still missing my OM even after months have gone by. My feelings ran deep. I am frustrated that the relief I felt at ending the affair has been replaced by pining. I miss him. It's...
    Angeleyes789 Angeleyes789 46-50, F 27 Responses Nov 23, 2013

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    My ex affair partner

    who has been ignoring me for 4 months finally reached out to me. I'm ignoring him back. I'm so done with him!
    broken418 broken418 22-25, F 10 Responses 2 days ago

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    I had an affair, but we ended things.

    I feel like I should explain this one a bit. I fell in love with this man before I met my husband but he never noticed me. While I was engaged we ended up at a mutual friends party where we both had too much to drink and he kissed me. A moment I had waited 5 years for. I never...
    pamdaqtpi pamdaqtpi 26-30, F 6 Responses 6 days ago

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    Shocking Love Affair

    I must confess something here that I thought, I would never ever talk about in my life. But I have to admit, I had an affair. Yes I did, and now I have to live with it for the rest of my life. Here's my shocking story..... About two weeks ago, I cheated on my true love...I...
    JimMorrisonRocks JimMorrisonRocks 26-30, M 28 Responses Jun 25, 2012

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    A guy i once had an affair wth has asked me

    if i would to go to a dance with him next weekend. I'm still married but we arent close anymore. Should i go?
    gentleannie gentleannie 41-45, F 17 Responses 5 days ago

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    I have been in EP for a few months,

    read many stories here, particularly in this experience and other post about had an affair. Just amazed, how easily other shallow peoples tried to judged other person when they have read the experience. Some of us, didn't have plan to be the other woman. And some of MM are also...
    ssally123 ssally123 41-45, F 19 Responses Jan 4, 2014

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    For those of you following my story you know

    where I am. While here 11,000 km from home, my AP and I have made some progress. Past Sunday was the hardest of the week so far. Seeing him after 6 months and with all the fighting in between it was hard coming face to face. But as the days have gone by, the barb wire...
    ATH2000 ATH2000 36-40, F 14 Responses 5 days ago

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    He Doesn'T Know

    But I'm getting ready to leave him. He doesn't know. The love of my life. The most beautiful man that should be mine. All the promises I made him. I will break. He won't leave me ever. He has no reason to. I can't compartmentaliZe. Im not a box. And he's my world. The playing...
    mysecretworld mysecretworld 36-40, F 16 Responses Nov 4, 2013

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    http://mariashriver.com/blog/2014/11/why-im-glad-my-parents-divorced-divorced-moms/ Very good read about divorce, affairs and remarriage.
    just2night just2night 41-45, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    I'm SO lonely tonight!

    I hate feeling this way. I wish I could just go to sleep and forget everything...What does everyone else do when they feel lonely like this?
    broken418 broken418 22-25, F 4 Responses Jan 16

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    I'm an affair success story.

    In a short period of time, my life took a direction that I never thought possible. I never saw it coming, did things I never thought I was ever capable of, and struggled through some turmoil...but it took my life in a direction that was best for me. This is quite long, as I'm...
    happyasever happyasever 31-35, F 7 Responses Nov 23, 2014

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    If you are looking for just sex,

    don't message me. I will block you. I came on this site to feel better and make friends. Anyone with ulterior motives should stay far away from me.
    broken418 broken418 22-25, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    I am in the worst pain ever.

    Why did he message me right when I was starting to move on? And worst of all, he didn't even apologize for what he did to me. Now I have to struggle through NC even worse, knowing that I have an opportunity to talk to him and yet I have to continue on. He doesn't even care what...
    broken418 broken418 22-25, F 8 Responses 1 day ago

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    Maybe you're reading this

    because you are having an affair or had one already or maybe you are thinking about doing it. I can't give advice because I have no clue. All I know is I am recovering and it's been a long recovery. I think the most surprising aspect was the emotion that came with this...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 21 Responses Jan 4, 2014

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    I hope... ...Every day

    when you wake up, you miss the good morning texts and calls we shared. ...Every night you think about how we would say " goodnight love bug." ...When you see a woman with auburn hair, you think about how you loved to wrap my curls around your fingers when we kissed. ...You...
    Urbancowgirl Urbancowgirl 36-40 11 Responses Dec 16, 2013

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    I have come full circle with my affair.

    .. This was the most beautiful yet unhealthiest relationship I have ever engaged in.... I trashed my self esteem, my morals and my heart for this relationship. I loved with every fiber in my body and every cell of my brain yet I was slowly reduced to a friend with no possibility...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 10 Responses Dec 17, 2013

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    H and I decided to divorce.

    I wonder how much of that decision is based on H finding out about my affair. He will never forgive me, even after months of therapy, its easier for him to play victim then also face the issues of the marriage. And thats ok, i know what i did was not good, but it is the risk i...
    findingpeace6 findingpeace6 26-30, F 5 Responses 2 days ago

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    When it ended for me 9 months ago,

    I didn't want to hear about Time being the healing factor, because time was just an inanimate word and the burning pain in my chest and soul could not be soothed. Time was a vacuum.. a void. Being in 2 relationships never made sense to me. It's some kind of "temporary...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 9 Responses Jan 10, 2014

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    I Could Help It

    It started about 4 months ago in the grocery store i caughgt a guy about 23 watching me it kind of creaped me out and excited me at the same time seeing that my husband isnt interested anymore.So i paid for my things and headed for my car. As i turned around that guy had folloed...
    imsweetenough imsweetenough 31-35, F 188 Responses Dec 30, 2011

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    It seems that at some point in time during our

    affairs we women lost sight of the fact that we are really the ones in control, or at least we should be! Men have a much harder time getting laid, especially married men!! They are lucky to have us around and somehow we lose sight of that and allow them to lose sight of it as...
    lovinglife11 lovinglife11 31-35, F 12 Responses Jan 15

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    It's been over for a year.

    The toughest year in my adult life. I believe like everyone, I have an innate emotional intelligence that will direct me to my personal bliss. The affair woke me up to passion, like nothing else has ever done before. I'm more empathic, less judgmental & more open minded than...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 15 Responses May 27, 2014

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    Affair With Son In Law, Now Pregnant

    I have searched all over the web for this situation and I have yet to find anything that remotely correlates.  I lost my job a few months ago and I moved in my eldest daughter and family.  I will admit right here and now that I have always had a crush on...
    littlejon63 littlejon63 46-50 354 Responses Mar 24, 2009

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    Younger women dating older men mainly

    because younger women are attracted older men. older men mature, confident, stable .Mature guys always know how to treat their women.These younger women are looking for their age gap love romance.For older men, Younger women older men relationships will surely make an older man...
    minniecc11 minniecc11 26-30, F Jan 15

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    Two Lovers, One Night.

    I'm afraid this is going to make me sound slutty. That is not really the case, i have just had weak moments in my life. I’m going to leave a lot of the mundane details out of this story to make it more interesting. This did happen several years ago but by highlighting the...
    emstioy emstioy 46-50, F 68 Responses Jan 8, 2012

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    One week ago he sent

    that text practically begging for it to be over. He got what he wanted.. From Lovers to strangers.. In one day. He didn't even send a Merry Christmas text. Yes, I really thought he would.. I'm so foolish for thinking he cared.. 7 days NC.. It's the longest ever in 16...
    Differentforever Differentforever 46-50, F 20 Responses Dec 27, 2014

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    Dear Jonathan And Our Two Children.....i'm So Sorry.

    Tomorrow 01/13/13 is the1 year anniversary of my relationship with the man I'm having an affair with, the man I compromised my entire life for, the man I chose over my family when I got caught 6 months ago, and the man I currently live with today. And 1 year ago tomorrow I...
    Annie3321 Annie3321 26-30, F 86 Responses Jan 12, 2013

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    I've come 11,000 km to see

    and end my affair. I'm minutes away from seeing him after 6 months. We promise each other no sex. But sex is such a huge part of who we are to each other. Sex can either complicate thing or calm things down. ..I don't know how this will go...we will be spending the week...
    ATH2000 ATH2000 36-40, F 5 Responses Jan 18

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    Do you ever wish you could meet done of the

    friends you have made on here.....the ones who know everything about you but never judge you? We can't have these conversations with our friends (or many of them. I think we all have at least one that we trust enough to tell) ....they might judge/spill our secrets. But out...
    sallyanne44 sallyanne44 41-45, F 20 Responses Jul 30, 2014

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    After lots of tears from

    both sides it's finally over. Back in 2000 I wrote him a letter before he left for NY. I told him don't open the letter until you get in the bus and are on your way.  Tonight he surprised me with a letter and told me to read it after he left the hotel.  I read the letter...
    ATH2000 ATH2000 36-40, F 2 Responses 4 hrs ago

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