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I Had An Affair

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 13,834 People

    I have come full circle with my affair.

    .. This was the most beautiful yet unhealthiest relationship I have ever engaged in.... I trashed my self esteem, my morals and my heart for this relationship. I loved with every fiber in my body and every cell of my brain yet I was slowly reduced to a friend with no possibility...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 11 Responses Dec 17, 2013

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    I am having a hard time letting go

    and feel tormented. For me, it is one of the worse feelings in the world when you want to talk to your lover and can't...or they are unresponsive to your requests...it hurts and there is nothing you can do about it because they don't belong to you. The memories and good times...
    Dreamgirl75 Dreamgirl75 36-40, F 23 Responses Apr 10

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    I'm married to a wonderful man

    and have two beautiful children but I have been having an affair with a MM for over a year. It's been a tremendous experience for me, both good and bad, and I don't know if I ever want it to end. Lots to talk about sometime but just saying hi to you all for now. I'm so glad I...
    Wikedangel Wikedangel 36-40, F 20 Responses Jan 4

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    And that is exactly why I joined this website.

    I need to tell someone about it. It is really getting to me. I love my husband! From what I read, this is not the case with most people here. I love him and therefore I am disappointed. I want him to look at me as other men do. I want him to answer my calls when in the office. I...
    zanhaz zanhaz 41-45, F 10 Responses 4 days ago

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    People say why go out

    for a hamburger when you have steak at home. Because sometimes you want a change amnd variety is the spice of life
    Tarmigan Tarmigan 61-65, M 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    I Had An Affair Tainted I am new this web

    page, read some of the interesting stories and have seen how much I can relate to some of them. I am not much of a reader or writer in that sense but perhaps telling my story and receiving feedback helps me vent the current situation that I am in. I’m not looking for feedback...
    maidinthebox maidinthebox 41-45, M 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    Dinner and drinks tonight with the girls.

    ....yeah MM came up!!! I shut it down quick, but still.....ouch!!! It will end eventually.....right??
    Suzanne1976 Suzanne1976 36-40, F 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    Two Lovers, One Night.

    I'm afraid this is going to make me sound slutty. That is not really the case, i have just had weak moments in my life. I’m going to leave a lot of the mundane details out of this story to make it more interesting. This did happen several years ago but by highlighting the...
    emstioy emstioy 46-50, F 66 Responses Jan 8, 2012

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    Tonight I went to meet some friends at a local

    hangout, these friends of mine became friends with MM because of me.....anyway tonight I find out through these friends that way more people than I thought know about our affair. I didn't go babbling and I know MM didn't either, so I'm puzzled.....kind of. We live in a small...
    Suzanne1976 Suzanne1976 36-40, F 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    Maybe you're reading this

    because you are having an affair or had one already or maybe you are thinking about doing it. I can't give advice because I have no clue. All I know is I am recovering and it's been a long recovery. I think the most surprising aspect was the emotion that came with this...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 19 Responses Jan 4

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    Question when your screwing your ap in your own

    home or there home do you turn the pics down or do you just look at the pic own the well? Does the pain that they well go throw ever cross your mind when your in the bed you share with your spouses? Do the lay there head own the pillow that your spouses sleeps own. Do you lay...
    pleasestoplying pleasestoplying 51-55, M 4 Responses 20 hrs ago

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    We had to end in hate.

    .. There was too much passion to end in friendship. Our energy was electric our conversations were awesome our trust was trusting.. The only emotion that was left for the two of us was hate... If we can't love each other were gonna hate each other... We could not have had a nice...
    ventingagain ventingagain 31-35, F 4 Responses 4 days ago

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    You cheaters that cheat own your sick spouses

    are pathetic people. So selfish don't even care about them. If it was me I would rather die alone the with a cheating spouses.
    pleasestoplying pleasestoplying 51-55, M 7 Responses 1 day ago

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    I just realized we passed a year

    since the first actual confirmation of sex, DDay.. He told her we had sex sept 10 last year and my husband found out sept 11 last year....of course he lied and said only five times with a condom hahahaha he's a douch!! Never ever once a condom, raw dog the whole time and many...
    ventingagain ventingagain 31-35, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    Well its been 3 weeks

    since my OM gf found a pic of me and some texts on his phone. She is certain she has it all figured out...but she doesn't. He quit texting me a little over a week ago now because she is checking to see who he is calling and texting. He is emailing me and still sees me once or...
    nitrolove nitrolove 51-55 1 Response 19 hrs ago

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    I Could Help It

    It started about 4 months ago in the grocery store i caughgt a guy about 23 watching me it kind of creaped me out and excited me at the same time seeing that my husband isnt interested anymore.So i paid for my things and headed for my car. As i turned around that guy had folloed...
    imsweetenough imsweetenough 31-35, F 205 Responses Dec 30, 2011

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    He text me last night

    and my heart jumped. I desperately wanted to respond but I didn't. He wanted to see me over the weekend but I didn't meet him. I love him so much and want to lie in his arms like I used to. But I can't. I know it's not a good situation for me. I can not take the guilt that comes...
    Australianladybug Australianladybug 31-35, F 17 Responses Mar 3

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    My last post I wrote about being in a long term

    affair and how it's affected sex with my H... Lost of desire.. For all of you MM in long term affairs do you feel the same towards your wives? Lost of desire.. Wanting only your lover?
    Differentforever Differentforever 46-50, F 7 Responses 1 day ago

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    I cheated on my BF with a 17years younger DJ on

    holiday and he wasn't even a good shot... Still I can't get him out of my head.
    BistouriCath BistouriCath 36-40, F 4 Responses 5 hrs ago

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    I was with him on Saturday

    and everything was perfect. Until the next day.. Missing him.. Then Him distancing himself.. It hurts me so much when he does this. I don't show it. I know how this works.. It's the same thing over and over again.. Yesterday I went to therapy. For weeks and weeks I've been...
    Differentforever Differentforever 46-50, F 11 Responses 5 days ago

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    Pity party or what. You can not

    even put your side if others disagree. Telling younger people "Shut the fck up and grow up" No don't say things to older people who disagree, by picking on younger people is bullying. Nosecone, bored, things got stale at home and every other excuse. It's about the thrill it's...
    vampirish vampirish 46-50, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    It's officially over!

    I saw his true side and I finally was strong enough to end it. I am hurting but relieved at the same time. This has definitely been a learning experience for me. :( I know in time I will get stronger each and everyday. Thank you to all to my EP friends for your support and...
    Cheeks2014 Cheeks2014 36-40, F 28 Responses Jan 19

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    So I was just driving

    and and the song came on he first dedicated to me ... Bruno Mars ... Locked out of heaven.... At first a couple memories came rushing in ... Where we were when he shared it with me, how excited he was to tell me he had a song for me weeks prior to hearing the song..he told me...
    ventingagain ventingagain 31-35, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    Marriage is not perfect.

    You must take the good and the bad days. Hopefully the good days outweigh the bad. It is a continual work in progress. Love brought two people together and the love will always remain. It needs mending at times and definitely work, but if the threads are strong enough to hold...
    desirabledreams desirabledreams 46-50, F 8 Responses 1 day ago

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    I hung out with my SG last night

    and he's heartbroken, he just wants a legit girlfriend and I can't be that for him, I have to let him go and live his life, I'm so sad for him and I'm not really sure how I feel about myself, sad, ashamed, happy, it's bittersweet, I never thought I'd be in this position in my...
    mntmama mntmama 36-40, F 4 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    Ever notice how many ignorant trolls there are

    on here wasting their time posting under our forum? Why is it they don't find us posting on the jaded spouses forum? I think it's because they don't feel like they belong anywhere useful. At least we know where we belong! Lol. And they call us the losers!!! Who is desperate for...
    lovinglife11 lovinglife11 31-35, F 9 Responses 5 days ago

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    I am married with kids,

    he is also married with kids. Going on since last November. I'm addicted to him and our trysts. I tried to end it on numerous occasions because I know it is morally wrong. Obviously that didn't last. I love what we have and love him too. It will never happen between us...
    SexyMomma37 SexyMomma37 36-40, F 16 Responses Mar 13

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    Update: Still going strong with my secret love.

    .. I still think about how wrong this is. Every minute, every text....every stolen kiss and every intense moment we share. If it's so wrong, why in the hell does it feel so right?? I asked my husband what would happen if I ever cheated on him... What would he think, what...
    Chelsea84 Chelsea84 26-30, F 19 Responses Feb 8

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    Dear Haters: I would like to give you an

    insight of a person that is currently involved in having an affair and giving this insight might give you a different opinion of us...might not agree with our actions but never judge someone before you know the entire story....so here it goes... We are human...we are daughters...
    excessbaggage excessbaggage 36-40, F 35 Responses 6 days ago

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    An affair... The beginning: The best part.

    The getting to know each other, the can't get enough, the spark, the passion, the excitement, the fun, the romance, the constant communication, you won't fall in love The middle: Still passionate, still exciting, still fun, still communicating regularly, the romance is still...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 9 Responses Feb 22

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    I love my husband. I truly do.

    I married a good man! every single day I am realizing that again!!! He saved this marriage by holding on and now we save it together everyday working on where we were before.
    ventingagain ventingagain 31-35, F 5 Responses 4 days ago

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    "How do you know for sure you loved him?

    " "Because it feels like someone died. You don't grieve lust."
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 10 Responses Mar 22

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    When it ended for me 9 months ago,

    I didn't want to hear about Time being the healing factor, because time was just an inanimate word and the burning pain in my chest and soul could not be soothed. Time was a vacuum.. a void. Being in 2 relationships never made sense to me. It's some kind of "temporary...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 11 Responses Jan 10

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    I have a sexless marriage,

    my guy does not care and very bad childhood. My legs are open for any one who says he loves me. I have the right to hurt others. EXCUSES EXCUSES. There is a difference between open and cheating its called lying.
    vampirish vampirish 46-50, F 14 Responses 5 days ago

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    I have been in EP for a few months,

    read many stories here, particularly in this experience and other post about had an affair. Just amazed, how easily other shallow peoples tried to judged other person when they have read the experience. Some of us, didn't have plan to be the other woman. And some of MM are also...
    ssally123 ssally123 41-45, F 19 Responses Jan 4

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    Full of adrenaline right now!

    That overwhelming feeling, smiling far too much and tingling from actual adrenaline running throughout my body! Not from affair excitement-I don't understand that, it's not exiting because of that- I'm just excited to see the man that makes me feel alive!!
    foreverWantingMore foreverWantingMore 31-35, F 31 Responses Jun 18

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    He Doesn'T Know

    But I'm getting ready to leave him. He doesn't know. The love of my life. The most beautiful man that should be mine. All the promises I made him. I will break. He won't leave me ever. He has no reason to. I can't compartmentaliZe. Im not a box. And he's my world. The playing...
    mysecretworld mysecretworld 36-40, F 16 Responses Nov 4, 2013

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    Dear Jonathan And Our Two Children.....i'm So Sorry.

    Tomorrow 01/13/13 is the1 year anniversary of my relationship with the man I'm having an affair with, the man I compromised my entire life for, the man I chose over my family when I got caught 6 months ago, and the man I currently live with today. And 1 year ago tomorrow I...
    Annie3321 Annie3321 26-30, F 86 Responses Jan 12, 2013

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    I have been doing well,

    for the most part. This past Sunday was rough....another first of things that have changed due to my affair. I had downloaded Maroon 5's new album last week and finally listened to it Sunday. On that album there is a song titled "Unkiss me", that song really hit me hard. It...
    Suzanne1976 Suzanne1976 36-40, F 5 Responses 4 days ago

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    So after some thought

    and review of my own experience and others I have discovered the following. If you are involved in an affair there is something major missing from your marriage. We seem willing ( especially us women) to be used by our AP for their own satisfaction even at the expense of our...
    lovinglife11 lovinglife11 31-35, F 21 Responses Mar 27

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    Sex with my H has changed.

    Last year when he was injured he had no interest. I wanted him desired him and was turned down many many times. When my affair first began it never affected the little amount of sex I had with my H. I still desired him. After 13 months of being with a lover.. It has...
    Differentforever Differentforever 46-50, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    Today, urged on by an EP friend,

    I deleted the Hotmail account that I had used exclusively, off and on, to correspond with my OW between 2006 and 2013. In there were the early love notes when we were exploring the possibility of crossing the line. I also kept some sad ones from the times that we were apart at...
    Wilbury Wilbury 41-45, M 18 Responses Jan 15

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    My Husband's Best Freind

    I t was exactly 1 yr ago. I was so depressed and ready to give up on ever being happy. My husband at the time was being very emotionally and verbally abusive. I got an e-mail from my husband's best freind. He was wondering how we were doing, and needed to talk. He had just split...
    hotandcuddly hotandcuddly 51-55, F 47 Responses Sep 1, 2011

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    Question how can you cheaters not regret the

    pain you cost others. How can you say you don't regret the affair. If you don't regret the affair then your putting yourself before your family and if your doing that then your just selfs.
    pleasestoplying pleasestoplying 51-55, M 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    Do you ever wish you could meet done of the

    friends you have made on here.....the ones who know everything about you but never judge you? We can't have these conversations with our friends (or many of them. I think we all have at least one that we trust enough to tell) ....they might judge/spill our secrets. But out...
    sallyanne44 sallyanne44 41-45, F 21 Responses Jul 30

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    I hope... ...Every day

    when you wake up, you miss the good morning texts and calls we shared. ...Every night you think about how we would say " goodnight love bug." ...When you see a woman with auburn hair, you think about how you loved to wrap my curls around your fingers when we kissed. ...You...
    Urbancowgirl Urbancowgirl 36-40 10 Responses Dec 16, 2013

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    Being the other women is not being jealous of

    the wife. It is being jealous of time! I was never once jealous of his wife. After he left her and she went to her mothers with three children 1 year ago I have never been jealous. Her having him as an ex husband and the father of her children and no longer sharing a home...
    ventingagain ventingagain 31-35, F 1 Response 2 hrs ago

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    I'm just curious. MM does it turn you on

    if you work with your mistress and rumors start about the two of you. My MM lately since I told him the latest rumor about us is totally hanging around me more and flirting big time.
    tc57 tc57 31-35, F 6 Responses 1 day ago

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    No not really. Sorry to disappoint you

    but you ladies in your 40s might want to hear this anyway. I have been crazy with thoughts about affairs and really any idiot has been looking like Brad Pitt to me since last December. I was unhappy, depressed and even put myself in the situations that could have ended up with...
    discovery5 discovery5 41-45, F 14 Responses Apr 25

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    It's been over for a year.

    The toughest year in my adult life. I believe like everyone, I have an innate emotional intelligence that will direct me to my personal bliss. The affair woke me up to passion, like nothing else has ever done before. I'm more empathic, less judgmental & more open minded than...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 15 Responses May 27

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    So i just posted two questions on EP.

    What is the definition of a mistress? What is the definition of a lover? Shocking to read that even women are more harsh towards women. I understand though that a lover could be both male and female?
    zanhaz zanhaz 41-45, F 6 Responses 1 day ago

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    Affair With Son In Law, Now Pregnant

    I have searched all over the web for this situation and I have yet to find anything that remotely correlates.  I lost my job a few months ago and I moved in my eldest daughter and family.  I will admit right here and now that I have always had a crush on...
    littlejon63 littlejon63 46-50 353 Responses Mar 24, 2009

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    It wasn't so much an affair

    as it was a ******* or 5. During one my husband walked up to the car and caught me. I thought I was in so much trouble. Within two days my husband was begging me to **** the other guy and let him watch.
    greenmountainmomma greenmountainmomma 31-35, F 20 Responses Jan 30

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