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I Had An Affair

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 14,373 People

    Open Letter to my Former AP: I want you to know

    that I finally did it, broke free, rescued myself...to live as my true self, to bloom. I have moved out and will be divorcing. And for the first time in forever, I feel like I can breathe again, hope again, and truly live again. I never knew the peace this very hard step would...
    MissingOK MissingOK 46-50, F 6 Responses 6 days ago

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    It's impossible for any of us to judge anyone

    on here. It's just too hard to express feeling and all the tiny details and signs that occur between MMs or MWs and OWs or OMs. We have to remember that we come here for an outlet. Some sort of relieve so that someone else in the world hears our cry of pain or joy or whatever...
    LoveExplorer78 LoveExplorer78 36-40, M 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    So after some thought

    and review of my own experience and others I have discovered the following. If you are involved in an affair there is something major missing from your marriage. We seem willing ( especially us women) to be used by our AP for their own satisfaction even at the expense of our...
    lovinglife11 lovinglife11 31-35, F 19 Responses Mar 27, 2014

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    Day 5 no contact. I haven't cried in the last

    two days. Work weeks are tough as we spoke on every break he had during his day. 10am, 12pm, 2pm and our our wAy home. Those time slots have come and go. I blocked him from everything. So far so good. I'm getting stronger !
    timetochange2 timetochange2 41-45, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    I have come full circle with my affair.

    .. This was the most beautiful yet unhealthiest relationship I have ever engaged in.... I trashed my self esteem, my morals and my heart for this relationship. I loved with every fiber in my body and every cell of my brain yet I was slowly reduced to a friend with no possibility...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 10 Responses Dec 17, 2013

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    Some days post affair I love my life.

    Love my loving husband, love my work, love the vacations. Some days it feels like drudgery. The things that the helper missed out on, the dogs barking, my husband absence due to work. My attention was diverted during the affair. The happiness wasn't from real life. The...
    HurtsEverywhere HurtsEverywhere 31-35, F 4 Responses 2 days ago

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    Today, urged on by an EP friend,

    I deleted the Hotmail account that I had used exclusively, off and on, to correspond with my OW between 2006 and 2013. In there were the early love notes when we were exploring the possibility of crossing the line. I also kept some sad ones from the times that we were apart at...
    Wilbury Wilbury 41-45, M 21 Responses Jan 15, 2014

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    What is wrong with women

    and there big mouths !! Men for that matter too?!?! Why is anyone concerned with what my husband and I am doing?! I usually stick to myself. I always have. I have no problem being alone. I enjoy it. And the reason being is when you allow people in your life they immediately...
    ventingagain ventingagain 31-35, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    No not really. Sorry to disappoint you

    but you ladies in your 40s might want to hear this anyway. I have been crazy with thoughts about affairs and really any idiot has been looking like Brad Pitt to me since last December. I was unhappy, depressed and even put myself in the situations that could have ended up with...
    discovery5 discovery5 41-45, F 15 Responses Apr 25, 2014

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    And for the first time

    since my dad found out about the affair, he spoke to me, hugged me and kissed me on my cheek. After dinner, dad asked to speak with me and we went down to the lake to talk. My dad opened up and talked with me as an adult and not his child. I was in awe. My dad is a reserved man...
    Hunniebae Hunniebae 26-30, F 1 Response 3 hrs ago

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    Found this saying some time ago

    when getting over my affair. Thought some of you could relate!
    MissingOK MissingOK 46-50, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    Dear Haters: I would like to give you an

    insight of a person that is currently involved in having an affair and giving this insight might give you a different opinion of us...might not agree with our actions but never judge someone before you know the entire story....so here it goes... We are human...we are daughters...
    excessbaggage excessbaggage 41-45, F 40 Responses Sep 16, 2014

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    "How do you know for sure you loved him?

    " "Because it feels like someone died. You don't grieve lust."
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 11 Responses Mar 22, 2014

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    Thought for the day: yesterday is over!

    It is a fact of life that what is old dies to make way for what is new. Endings are often painful - we mourn the death of a relationship, we regret leaving a familiar neighborhood, we don't like to say good-bye. Endings, though, give us the chance to begin again. A new friend...
    timetochange2 timetochange2 41-45, F 5 Responses 3 days ago

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    More Like, 'my Affair Had Me'

    my affair did have me - for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. it chewed me up, spit me out, and i have yet to recover. we were in love, and probably still are (i definitely am) but ultimately it was my choice to end it - i didnt want to end my marriage for various reasons and knew...
    IJustWantYouToKnowWhoIAm IJustWantYouToKnowWhoIAm 31-35, F 25 Responses Dec 26, 2011

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    where did you go? We were having a great

    conversation and you were no longer able to be contacted.
    ducias ducias 31-35, M 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    I Could Help It

    It started about 4 months ago in the grocery store i caughgt a guy about 23 watching me it kind of creaped me out and excited me at the same time seeing that my husband isnt interested anymore.So i paid for my things and headed for my car. As i turned around that guy had folloed...
    imsweetenough imsweetenough 31-35, F 187 Responses Dec 30, 2011

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    What a storm in a teacup affairs really ARE.

    .. All contained within the walls of our hearts and minds, never to see the light of day. Haunting in their hidden beauty and their memorable "one liners". Covered with innuendos and lies just to have that one more hug, one more look, one more talk, one more kiss, then one more...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 24 Responses Oct 13, 2014

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    I'm now 10 months post affair

    and almost 8 months NC. I have been dreading this time of year for months, it's my fave time of the year, but this year is different and it sucks. I'm constantly looking over my shoulder, waiting for a run in with MM, his family or people that know about what WE did. Wish I...
    Suzanne1976 Suzanne1976 36-40, F 2 Responses Mar 20

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    Do you ever wish you could meet done of the

    friends you have made on here.....the ones who know everything about you but never judge you? We can't have these conversations with our friends (or many of them. I think we all have at least one that we trust enough to tell) ....they might judge/spill our secrets. But out...
    sallyanne44 sallyanne44 41-45, F 18 Responses Jul 30, 2014

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    I asked myself today,

    what did I learn from all this? The lesson for me is *Stay the heck away from a married man!* Until now, I kept convincing myself that he was separated when I met him.. his wife had a kid from another guy... she was a B and a User and a cheater.. yada yada yada. Time to fess...
    Fmina Fmina 51-55, F 45 Responses Feb 10

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    Feeling really good today.

    . Spent time with a the new MM man again yesterday..He's so into me, I love it! I will never ever waist my time again on a man that's not!
    Differentforever Differentforever 46-50, F 20 Responses Jan 23

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    Today is 100 days of No Contact.

    At least I managed to not reply back to him, but if I could stop thinking about him, that would be great.
    broken418 broken418 22-25, F 3 days ago

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    For those who left their affair.

    How long did it take you to get to the point where they weren't on your mind as much and your tears finally stopped and you felt better ? I made it three months before. I think i cried everyday up until the 4 week mark. I need to get to feeling better. This sucks.
    timetochange2 timetochange2 41-45, F 7 Responses Mar 19

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    Shocking Love Affair

    I must confess something here that I thought, I would never ever talk about in my life. But I have to admit, I had an affair. Yes I did, and now I have to live with it for the rest of my life. Here's my shocking story..... About two weeks ago, I cheated on my true love...I...
    JimMorrisonRocks JimMorrisonRocks 26-30, M 27 Responses Jun 25, 2012

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    why do people like to call the ap women home

    wrecker??!! Come on... So sad to hear people say that.. It's ignorant, judge mental and so much more...truth is... If the home wasn't off to begin with the affair wouldn't have happened. It takes two people to make an affair work. So if anyone is a home wrecker it's the dam...
    ventingagain ventingagain 31-35, F 30 Responses Nov 19, 2014

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    It was just sex. That is what the plan was

    anyway. We are both married, and yes, I know it's awful of us to seek comfort in each other, but we did. The first time we met for sex I was so nervous that I accidently locked my keys in my car. He had to call AAA to come open it for me. That sucked, but we still managed to...
    klady23 klady23 26-30, F 30 Responses Feb 23

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    So I backed out of our last meeting.

    I just wasn't feeling right about it. Something is different. Something isn't quite right. I can't place it but it's there. I'm ok with it too. I don't regret canceling one bit. Maybe I'm moving on. Maybe I'm done with it. Seems like so much work. Emotionally draining. Maybe I'm...
    lovinglife11 lovinglife11 31-35, F 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    I have some things from you in my closet.

    I feel like smashing that vase from you right now. I hate you. I want you out of my heart, my brain, my life. Every time I feel like I'm making progress on moving on, you have to show up and send me a text to set me back. I'm so tired of you. I'm so sick of your vague messages...
    broken418 broken418 22-25, F 5 Responses Mar 21

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    Music speaks loudly for my emotions,

    what I'm feeling. Just thought I would share this today because at one point or another I'm fairly certain this is the way all of us feel..... "It's a shame you sold your lies before God What our eyes have seen, oh, have you forgot? Where's your values? Were they all thrown...
    LostSoul1212 LostSoul1212 26-30, M 1 Response 4 days ago

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    Dear Jonathan And Our Two Children.....i'm So Sorry.

    Tomorrow 01/13/13 is the1 year anniversary of my relationship with the man I'm having an affair with, the man I compromised my entire life for, the man I chose over my family when I got caught 6 months ago, and the man I currently live with today. And 1 year ago tomorrow I...
    Annie3321 Annie3321 26-30, F 86 Responses Jan 12, 2013

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    You ever get buzzed and completely disgusted

    with yourself over the affair?! I went dancing with husband and friends tonight to a Led Zeppelin band after we put the kids to bed. I had such a great time. Had 3 beers and danced with husband for a couple hours and I am freakin sick over the fact that I ever screwed around...
    ventingagain ventingagain 31-35, F 4 Responses Mar 21

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    I cleaned my house...

    I mean I really cleaned it... like I use to before he entered my life... The refrigerator had 15 months of dust behind it... I bought new throw pillows and a vase to put fresh flowers in.. New.. Running shoes, workout cloths, makeup... They say affairs are selfish...
    Differentforever Differentforever 46-50, F 10 Responses a week ago

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    Two Lovers, One Night.

    I'm afraid this is going to make me sound slutty. That is not really the case, i have just had weak moments in my life. I’m going to leave a lot of the mundane details out of this story to make it more interesting. This did happen several years ago but by highlighting the...
    emstioy emstioy 41-45, F 68 Responses Jan 8, 2012

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    Maybe you're reading this

    because you are having an affair or had one already or maybe you are thinking about doing it. I can't give advice because I have no clue. All I know is I am recovering and it's been a long recovery. I think the most surprising aspect was the emotion that came with this...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 21 Responses Jan 4, 2014

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    An affair... The beginning: The best part.

    The getting to know each other, the can't get enough, the spark, the passion, the excitement, the fun, the romance, the constant communication, you won't fall in love The middle: Still passionate, still exciting, still fun, still communicating regularly, the romance is still...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 12 Responses Feb 22, 2014

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    I wish I could stop looking at your old messages

    and your websites. I hate when I look at your websites I see how happy you are with the woman you replaced me with so easily. I wish I could delete every picture, email, and text that I have from you. I wish I could throw away everything you ever gave me. I wish I could forget...
    broken418 broken418 22-25, F 3 Responses 4 days ago

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    Dear Wife, Your husband has been cheating on

    you for 10 years with all different women, he never engaged in relationships, just sex. Until he met me. The first time it happened, I felt bad, but not really, it was only going to be that once. Of course, though, it didn't stay that way. After then we got to know each...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 11 Responses Feb 13

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    I almost did it. I almost thru out a text to

    him. I entertained the idea for 30 seconds in my head with phone in hand on his number.. I let it go. He was dancing in my head a couple times last night I know that's what made the urge come today. I couldn't bring myself to do it. I didn't want to bring myself to do it! Now I...
    ventingagain ventingagain 31-35, F 7 Responses 2 days ago

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    Everyone's advice after a breakup is to "stay

    busy"... So I tried to. But I cried in between work calls, I cried on the treadmill at the gym, and I cried in the park. So what are you supposed to do when you try everything you can to remove the memory of that person, and no matter what you do, the memory won't go away? Even...
    broken418 broken418 22-25, F 4 Responses 4 days ago

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    I cried today... A lot .

    .. For the first time since I started "no contact" one month ago... In the bath of all places I guess the grieving process has officially begun.... :-(
    zoey3000 zoey3000 31-35, F 9 Responses 1 day ago

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    I'm an affair success story.

    In a short period of time, my life took a direction that I never thought possible. I never saw it coming, did things I never thought I was ever capable of, and struggled through some turmoil...but it took my life in a direction that was best for me. This is quite long, as I'm...
    happyasever happyasever 31-35, F 7 Responses Nov 23, 2014

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    Not much upsets me...

    When people are in affaires and are happy... It really upsets me when people try and knock down their happiness... Not all affairs end bad.... How can you tell someone their relationship is doomed because it started from an affair??? I've been married to my affair partner...
    Differentforever Differentforever 46-50, F 6 Responses 6 days ago

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    It's officially over!

    I saw his true side and I finally was strong enough to end it. I am hurting but relieved at the same time. This has definitely been a learning experience for me. :( I know in time I will get stronger each and everyday. Thank you to all to my EP friends for your support and...
    Cheeks2014 Cheeks2014 36-40, F 26 Responses Jan 19, 2014

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    I just reached 95 days of No Contact today.

    He contacted me again yesterday with "Hi"...This will be his 4th text I have had to ignore. I'm slowly improving, but the temptation to reply back to him does exist.
    broken418 broken418 22-25, F 3 Responses Mar 21

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    My Husband's Best Freind

    I t was exactly 1 yr ago. I was so depressed and ready to give up on ever being happy. My husband at the time was being very emotionally and verbally abusive. I got an e-mail from my husband's best freind. He was wondering how we were doing, and needed to talk. He had just split...
    hotandcuddly hotandcuddly 51-55, F 44 Responses Sep 1, 2011

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