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I Had An Affair

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 12,967 People

    When he asked for air last week

    and pulled back I fell apart. After two days of excessive drinking.. Insecure feelings.. Trying to grab a hold of a Any part of him/us I could... An ep friend commented on one of my stories he told me " your to clingy give him the air he needs and you should also use this...
    Differentforever Differentforever 46-50, F 8 Responses 3 days ago

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    When it ended for me 9 months ago,

    I didn't want to hear about Time being the healing factor, because time was just an inanimate word and the burning pain in my chest and soul could not be soothed. Time was a vacuum.. a void. Being in 2 relationships never made sense to me. It's some kind of "temporary...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 10 Responses Jan 10

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    So after some thought

    and review of my own experience and others I have discovered the following. If you are involved in an affair there is something major missing from your marriage. We seem willing ( especially us women) to be used by our AP for their own satisfaction even at the expense of our...
    lovinglife11 lovinglife11 31-35, F 19 Responses Mar 27

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    Anyone doing the just friends thing?

    And if so, how's it going?
    prettykitty0810 prettykitty0810 36-40, F 14 Responses 6 days ago

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    MEN IN AFFAIRS: Have you told anyone in your

    "real life" you were in an affair? Most women have a Friend they tell. Are men the same?
    pjblack pjblack 41-45, F 15 Responses 4 days ago

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    Dear self, If you keep going backwards with

    the same people that God has intentionally removed from your life, you will continue to be stuck. There is no joy in being confused and unhappy. Get rid of old habits and leave them where they belong. What is meant for you will be yours. Learn to let go. Dysfunction isn't love...
    cakesx3 cakesx3 22-25, F 5 Responses 2 days ago

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    My Husband's Best Freind

    I t was exactly 1 yr ago. I was so depressed and ready to give up on ever being happy. My husband at the time was being very emotionally and verbally abusive. I got an e-mail from my husband's best freind. He was wondering how we were doing, and needed to talk. He had just split...
    hotandcuddly hotandcuddly 51-55, F 46 Responses Sep 1, 2011

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    Letmecheckyourshorts Letmecheckyourshorts 22-25, F 56 Responses Jan 12

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    Maybe you're reading this

    because you are having an affair or had one already or maybe you are thinking about doing it. I can't give advice because I have no clue. All I know is I am recovering and it's been a long recovery. I think the most surprising aspect was the emotion that came with this...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 18 Responses Jan 4

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    I was involved with a married woman

    for 3 months. She really needed to experiment and we became good secret sex buddies. Husband got a new job and they moved away. We knew it had to end sometime and best to break contact there.
    nicennaughtyja nicennaughtyja 18-21, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    Shocking Love Affair

    I must confess something here that I thought, I would never ever talk about in my life. But I have to admit, I had an affair. Yes I did, and now I have to live with it for the rest of my life. Here's my shocking story..... About two weeks ago, I cheated on my true love...I...
    JimMorrisonRocks JimMorrisonRocks 26-30, M 26 Responses Jun 25, 2012

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    I Could Help It

    It started about 4 months ago in the grocery store i caughgt a guy about 23 watching me it kind of creaped me out and excited me at the same time seeing that my husband isnt interested anymore.So i paid for my things and headed for my car. As i turned around that guy had folloed...
    imsweetenough imsweetenough 31-35, F 209 Responses Dec 30, 2011

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    knowing I wouldn't leave my current status,

    I try to redirect, he hits this crazy state and he screws the first opportunity he gets. Then blames me because I won't fully come to him. Like the Chinese red string myth. Two people tied to each other, whether tangled or stretched, they are tied to each other no matter the...
    r0xypoxy r0xypoxy 36-40, F 5 Responses 3 days ago

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    The Gifts - The Gift of Freedom These days I

    try to focus on the gifts. The many gifts I received from our most beautiful time together. Today is one of the greatest gifts of all. The gift of Freedom Our time together freed me in so very many ways, really. I don't think I ever knew just how bad my marriage was until we...
    FindingMySong FindingMySong 46-50, M 4 Responses 16 hrs ago

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    What is the best way to give a man

    that is sad, confused and overwhelmed support? Normally i give space and let him know i am going to let him have time. I also let him know when he needs me, i will be there. Are there any other useful tips?
    pjblack pjblack 41-45, F 2 Responses 10 hrs ago

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    I have come full circle with my affair.

    .. This was the most beautiful yet unhealthiest relationship I have ever engaged in.... I trashed my self esteem, my morals and my heart for this relationship. I loved with every fiber in my body and every cell of my brain yet I was slowly reduced to a friend with no possibility...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 12 Responses Dec 17, 2013

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    Its been over a long time

    and yet she is always on the edge of my mind. The pain is over but I still feel the need to reach out to her. I messaged her last week and she was cordial, but I get nothing more than the basics. She said she will reply when she has time, but that's just her being polite...
    Blueeyedboy70i Blueeyedboy70i 41-45, M 3 Responses 10 hrs ago

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    I think if you sit back

    and quiet the fear of losing your ap your heart and head will always let you know when your done. I knew I was done a month before we actually started going thru the steps of being done.. But both times I brought it up to him he do or say something really awesome that would...
    ventingagain ventingagain 31-35, F 3 Responses 4 days ago

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    Affair With Son In Law, Now Pregnant

    I have searched all over the web for this situation and I have yet to find anything that remotely correlates.  I lost my job a few months ago and I moved in my eldest daughter and family.  I will admit right here and now that I have always had a crush on...
    littlejon63 littlejon63 46-50 350 Responses Mar 24, 2009

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    I asked for a break. I asked him to not contact

    me. It was not the "we are over". Just some breathing room to give us space. We have been arguing alot. And in my romantic way, I believe a break will gice me space to disconnect or reconnect. I miss him, but I also know it is toxic. I have moments where it is just sooo hard...
    pencruz pencruz 46-50, F 8 Responses 6 days ago

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    "How do you know for sure you loved him?

    " "Because it feels like someone died. You don't grieve lust."
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 10 Responses Mar 22

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    I have been in EP for a few months,

    read many stories here, particularly in this experience and other post about had an affair. Just amazed, how easily other shallow peoples tried to judged other person when they have read the experience. Some of us, didn't have plan to be the other woman. And some of MM are also...
    ssally123 ssally123 41-45, F 14 Responses Jan 4

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    2 more days to go. I will be having vacation

    with my MM, this is the first and last time we can spend longer time together. After the happy days pass, I will back to my own life, he will back to his hometown. No more sneaking out is needed, no more fear of being caught, no more meeting in private place. Somehow I am...
    Lookandsee Lookandsee 31-35, F 2 Responses 20 hrs ago

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    Why is it that you wait

    for so long to see them and it feels like an eternity, then the time comes to see them , the hours , mins go by so fast in a blink of an eye.? :-( Sucks!
    js1276 js1276 36-40, F 5 Responses 2 days ago

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    Hi! I'm new to this forum

    and have commented a bit but I guess it's time I share my experience with everyone. I've been married for over 20 years and last ten have been sexless by my choice due to the condition my husband let himself get to: 150+ pound weight gain, poor grooming habits, basically a...
    AssInTheSand AssInTheSand 46-50, F 19 Responses Jan 5

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    I never really loved you!

    ! I was caught up in the euphoria of it all!! That's passed!! Later
    ventingagain ventingagain 31-35, F 3 Responses a week ago

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    ...an emotional affair.

    Really missing the phone calls I snuck driving to and from work. Our time. That 20 minute commute is tough. The silence forces me to feel the pain, grieve our friendship ending, and sit with sadness. A time of day I used to look forward to, I now dread at times bc I don't want...
    confusedmajorly confusedmajorly 36-40, F 19 Responses Apr 10

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    More Like, 'my Affair Had Me'

    my affair did have me - for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. it chewed me up, spit me out, and i have yet to recover. we were in love, and probably still are (i definitely am) but ultimately it was my choice to end it - i didnt want to end my marriage for various reasons and knew...
    IJustWantYouToKnowWhoIAm IJustWantYouToKnowWhoIAm 31-35, F 25 Responses Dec 26, 2011

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    He text me last night

    and my heart jumped. I desperately wanted to respond but I didn't. He wanted to see me over the weekend but I didn't meet him. I love him so much and want to lie in his arms like I used to. But I can't. I know it's not a good situation for me. I can not take the guilt that comes...
    Australianladybug Australianladybug 31-35, F 16 Responses Mar 3

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    Here's a piece of information I left out.

    .. My affair was with my boss. I haven't relocated and am still working there. Today is the first day I will work with him post D-day. How am I supposed to act around him? Help....I'm on the verge of an anxiety attack.
    cakesx3 cakesx3 22-25, F 7 Responses 18 hrs ago

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    I'm married to a wonderful man

    and have two beautiful children but I have been having an affair with a MM for over a year. It's been a tremendous experience for me, both good and bad, and I don't know if I ever want it to end. Lots to talk about sometime but just saying hi to you all for now. I'm so glad I...
    Wikedangel Wikedangel 36-40, F 19 Responses Jan 4

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    I'm hurting less and less each day.

    But my friends here, SO much hurt. SO much confusion. SO much despair. As I lay my head down to rest, I send every spare bit of my now healing heart out to you. I do. It's big. Take what you need. Please. And take good care of yourselves.
    FindingMySong FindingMySong 46-50, M 7 Responses 6 days ago

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    Years ago my pregnant teenage niece needed a

    safe place to stay after the father of her baby became physically abusive. During that time we spent together we talked and shared a lot. She was SO distraught. She would say over and over "but Uncle, I LOVE him SO MUCH!" I kept telling her the same thing. I said "I...
    FindingMySong FindingMySong 46-50, M 2 Responses a week ago

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    I hope... ...Every day

    when you wake up, you miss the good morning texts and calls we shared. ...Every night you think about how we would say " goodnight love bug." ...When you see a woman with auburn hair, you think about how you loved to wrap my curls around your fingers when we kissed. ...You...
    Urbancowgirl Urbancowgirl 36-40 9 Responses Dec 16, 2013

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    Today, urged on by an EP friend,

    I deleted the Hotmail account that I had used exclusively, off and on, to correspond with my OW between 2006 and 2013. In there were the early love notes when we were exploring the possibility of crossing the line. I also kept some sad ones from the times that we were apart at...
    Wilbury Wilbury 41-45, M 13 Responses Jan 15

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    I am tired of reading about affairs just being

    about stroking each others ego. Really like spending time with someone you love and or care about should be filled put downs and criticisms??? That sounds like marriage more often than not to me.
    pjblack pjblack 41-45, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    This post is specifically

    for those who have been hurt by an affair, or an unfaithful partner. You know who you are. I'd like to say that no that person willing starts and affair with the intention of hurting their partner, or the spouse of their AP. Often circumstances lead to this, then it's a...
    learner80 learner80 31-35, F 19 Responses Mar 1

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    Last Story... Forever.

    Not really a story.. just a good bye. I came here looking for some insight into what to expect in an affair and how to deal with the end. It was helpful and served it's purpose. I'm at a point though where I don't want to put myself on display to have people I've never met...
    harderthanithought harderthanithought 31-35, F 22 Responses Oct 20, 2013

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    Today it hurts!! :( thanks to a friend on EP

    I'm keeping myself in check but I haven't cried in a long time and I did today ... Aaahh He said one day you will be just a distant memory. Those words killed me that day, I didn't know he was checking out.. I want him to be a distant memory!! And today he's not:( I am so sad
    circlesnomore circlesnomore 31-35, F 9 Responses 6 days ago

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    To all of my EP friends

    that are going through the ups and downs. Human I can hold my breath I can bite my tongue I can stay awake for days If that's what you want Be your number one I can fake a smile I can force a laugh I can dance and play the part If that's what you ask Give you all I am I can...
    Cheeks2014 Cheeks2014 36-40, F 4 Responses Jan 20

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    Two Lovers, One Night.

    I'm afraid this is going to make me sound slutty. That is not really the case, i have just had weak moments in my life. Iā€™m going to leave a lot of the mundane details out of this story to make it more interesting. This did happen several years ago but by highlighting the...
    emstioy emstioy 46-50, F 65 Responses Jan 8, 2012

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    I blocked him on my phone.

    And there is something peaceful knowing I won't be getting a text...or if or when. At the same time, I miss him, alot. I bought a tiny journal to start writing things that I will keep in my purse. Things that remind me of everything wrong with this and us. I need to let go...
    pencruz pencruz 46-50, F 7 Responses 3 days ago

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    My Last Letter, That You'Ll Never Get...

    Like a spark to gasoline, your subtle negativity, actions and words concerning your discontent with him lit a fire of hope for me over the past few months - that you would be free for us to be together one day... until yesterday that is. Your words - "yes, I am for sure getting...
    engx74 engx74 36-40, M 10 Responses Sep 8, 2013

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    I met someone here at EP.

    He's so sweet. We never met but we talked as if we knew each other for a long time. I slowly fell inlove with him. We're both bisexuals. We planned to meet, but he refused because he went to their province. And now he's not texting me anymore! šŸ˜­šŸ˜­šŸ˜­ i wanted to cry. But...
    oyeahn oyeahn 16-17, M 1 Response 2 days ago

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    I was married to a man

    for 20 years. We met when I was 16, got married when I was 22, and went on to have 3 kids. The only problem was he drank and over the years, his personality changed to the point of abuse. It was not physical abuse but verbal. He did things like swear at me, punch holes in the...
    leslie0718 leslie0718 41-45, F 13 Responses Feb 4

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    I've decided going forward

    if someone comments negatively on an experience I share here, I'm going to immediately delete their comment and block them. My experiences are part of my past, they're factual and they've already occurred so unkind, judgmental remarks are a waste of time and unnecessary. I don't...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 8 Responses Mar 15

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    An affair... The beginning: The best part.

    The getting to know each other, the can't get enough, the spark, the passion, the excitement, the fun, the romance, the constant communication, you won't fall in love The middle: Still passionate, still exciting, still fun, still communicating regularly, the romance is still...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 11 Responses Feb 22

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    Dear Jonathan And Our Two Children.....i'm So Sorry.

    Tomorrow 01/13/13 is the1 year anniversary of my relationship with the man I'm having an affair with, the man I compromised my entire life for, the man I chose over my family when I got caught 6 months ago, and the man I currently live with today. And 1 year ago tomorrow I...
    Annie3321 Annie3321 26-30, F 85 Responses Jan 12, 2013

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    Can you ever really be friends Or is

    that more settling Holding onto a shadow of a fantasy Keeping you down and stuck It seems if there's true connection and respect a love affair can transition to something more sustainable and less toxic than an affair But I do wonder if that's an excuse to just not let go
    Wikedangel Wikedangel 36-40, F 3 Responses 20 hrs ago

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    "The kids are starting a rumor

    that you like me." You said. "Oh that's embarrassing!" I covered myself between the bed sheets. "That's okay." You said. Pulling the sheets down from my face. "Just continue to do what you are doing." So what am I doing? Is "loving you" the secret answer that has become so...
    myheart99 myheart99 36-40, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    While on a works night out,

    I meet the most amazing woman. We were both married at the time. We spent the night together in an airport hotel room and she missed her flight home back to the USA the following morning. That was nearly 2 1/2 years ago and since that wonderful night we have meet every 6 weeks...
    Jnh2809 Jnh2809 41-45, M 4 Responses 14 hrs ago

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    It's officially over!

    I saw his true side and I finally was strong enough to end it. I am hurting but relieved at the same time. This has definitely been a learning experience for me. :( I know in time I will get stronger each and everyday. Thank you to all to my EP friends for your support and...
    Cheeks2014 Cheeks2014 36-40, F 29 Responses Jan 19

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    Finally everything is confirmed tonight.

    Even I am well prepared for your leave, deep down I still have the heartbroken feeling when you saying 'yes, I am going to leave on July'. Nothing to say but miss u. I can feel the hugs and kisses tonight are different from before. I can feel the sadness and sorrow. I can...
    Lookandsee Lookandsee 31-35, F 3 Responses 6 days ago

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    My mistress and my wife confronted each other

    about a month ago now. At first neither wanted anything to do with me now they are both making promises and begging me to choose them. I can't bring myself to leave my wife but she makes me miserable and I also don't want a relationship with my other woman. Both are making...
    jay72007 jay72007 22-25, M 12 Responses 2 days ago

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    Well I guess it's finally over.

    The best (or worse?) 4 months of my life. The funny things about affairs is in the midst of them, you think you're happy, you think you're fulfilled...when in all reality it's not fulfilling at all and yes the highs are amazing but the lows are awful, leaving you with feelings...
    cakesx3 cakesx3 22-25, F 7 Responses 3 days ago

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    After the overly repeated text,

    "I'm in a meeting, let's chat tonight," I respond: "I'm calling it, our goals are different and I wish you well." Delete contact in phone, delete skype contact. Done for good because you have exhausted my time and energy for way too long. If you need to talk to me, call...
    r0xypoxy r0xypoxy 36-40, F 10 Responses a week ago

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    I like coming on here

    and reading stories and reading the comments left by others. Sometimes though I feel like it's not beneficial to myself. For example, I haven't tried to make any kind of contact with J since November. BUT. After talking about him and reading about others and the stupid...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 13 Responses Jan 2

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