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I Had An Affair

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 13,752 People

    So after some thought

    and review of my own experience and others I have discovered the following. If you are involved in an affair there is something major missing from your marriage. We seem willing ( especially us women) to be used by our AP for their own satisfaction even at the expense of our...
    lovinglife11 lovinglife11 31-35, F 19 Responses Mar 27

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    It wasn't so much an affair

    as it was a ******* or 5. During one my husband walked up to the car and caught me. I thought I was in so much trouble. Within two days my husband was begging me to **** the other guy and let him watch.
    greenmountainmomma greenmountainmomma 31-35, F 18 Responses Jan 30

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    I am thinking my husband left me.

    He left this morning and his sister posted a picture with him. She lives in another state. Had a pretty good argument last night so we shall see.
    manyregrets manyregrets 36-40, F 5 Responses 1 day ago

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    Does the DDay anniversary recreate pain?

    My husband really only had one but even then I don't think he remembered the date. I don't either to be honest. I remember the date my ex told his wife last September that we were sleeping together but my husband never really had a date. My exs ex wife called my husband and told...
    ventingagain ventingagain 31-35, F 3 Responses 13 hrs ago

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    I feel an intense need to get a lot off of my

    shoulders. I've made a huge mistake. I think it's therapeutic to talk. I am 23 years old. I've been married for 2 years. I married my Junior high sweetheart. We have been together for 9 years. We have had a somewhat happy relationship. Mostly ups, who doesn't have their downs...
    parahsalin parahsalin 22-25, F 6 Responses 2 days ago

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    I love my husband but I had an affair.

    I told my husband everything and he wants to forgive me but hes finding it hard. I want to do everything he says because hes a wonderful person all round and in so many ways, way better than anyone else-patient,kind, loving, caring, intelligent, creative, funny and wonderful...
    vuexter vuexter 36-40, F 7 Responses 4 days ago

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    Dear Jonathan And Our Two Children.....i'm So Sorry.

    Tomorrow 01/13/13 is the1 year anniversary of my relationship with the man I'm having an affair with, the man I compromised my entire life for, the man I chose over my family when I got caught 6 months ago, and the man I currently live with today. And 1 year ago tomorrow I...
    Annie3321 Annie3321 26-30, F 86 Responses Jan 12, 2013

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    An affair... The beginning: The best part.

    The getting to know each other, the can't get enough, the spark, the passion, the excitement, the fun, the romance, the constant communication, you won't fall in love The middle: Still passionate, still exciting, still fun, still communicating regularly, the romance is still...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 9 Responses Feb 22

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    I was married to a man

    for 20 years. We met when I was 16, got married when I was 22, and went on to have 3 kids. The only problem was he drank and over the years, his personality changed to the point of abuse. It was not physical abuse but verbal. He did things like swear at me, punch holes in the...
    leslie0718 leslie0718 41-45, F 12 Responses Feb 4

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    Like anyone would be I am flattered by your

    fascination with me Like any hot blooded woman I have simply wanted an object to crave But you, you're not allowed You're uninvited An unfortunate slight Must be strangely exciting To watch the stoic squirm Must be somewhat heartening To watch shepherd meet shepherd But you...
    Fmina Fmina 51-55, F 5 Responses 4 days ago

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    "How do you know for sure you loved him?

    " "Because it feels like someone died. You don't grieve lust."
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 11 Responses Mar 22

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    Today, urged on by an EP friend,

    I deleted the Hotmail account that I had used exclusively, off and on, to correspond with my OW between 2006 and 2013. In there were the early love notes when we were exploring the possibility of crossing the line. I also kept some sad ones from the times that we were apart at...
    Wilbury Wilbury 41-45, M 17 Responses Jan 15

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    It's back on... He didn't

    even last 24 hours this time!
    Differentforever Differentforever 46-50, F 6 Responses 20 hrs ago

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    1825 tell me why you did it.

    tell me what you've done. tell me everything. and tell me why you stabbed me in the back. and tell me why you left it unsolved. make the story simple; easy come easy go. like the alphabet in kindergarten, like the way you did what you did. why did you? how could you? what made...
    mrennie61 mrennie61 51-55, M 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    When it ended for me 9 months ago,

    I didn't want to hear about Time being the healing factor, because time was just an inanimate word and the burning pain in my chest and soul could not be soothed. Time was a vacuum.. a void. Being in 2 relationships never made sense to me. It's some kind of "temporary...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 10 Responses Jan 10

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    Was texting back and fourth last night with MM.

    .. Then nothing.. That was fine... Till this morning nothing!! I sent him 3 texts telling him I'm worried and that I hope everything is ok!! No reply.. Not like him.. He has never done this when he needs space he says it!!! I'm freaking out! If W caught him texting he would be...
    Differentforever Differentforever 46-50, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    I'm having on ongoing affair with a married

    for god years. Her name is tammy mahoney. We have never had sex but we've sexted several time. We are in love with each other dearly but have our own families
    hartfan hartfan 41-45, M 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    Is it better to have had

    and affair and the spouse not know of your doings and living with the guilt if there is any.... or be a spouse and you your spouse informs you he has has made love to another women? If I had no DDay would I have ever shared? No because why inflict pain on him when he's...
    ventingagain ventingagain 31-35, F 4 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    My friend just sent me this.

    .. As my song to HIS ex... Hahahahah hahahha Yes I'm juvenile some times;) I'm only human and it's funny... Big meanie big weenie http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x20s7e_big-weenie-eminem_music
    ventingagain ventingagain 31-35, F 1 Response 12 hrs ago

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    Two Lovers, One Night.

    I'm afraid this is going to make me sound slutty. That is not really the case, i have just had weak moments in my life. I’m going to leave a lot of the mundane details out of this story to make it more interesting. This did happen several years ago but by highlighting the...
    emstioy emstioy 46-50, F 66 Responses Jan 8, 2012

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    I either eat too much

    or starve myself. Sleep for 14 hrs or have insomniac nights. Fall in love very hard or hate passionately. I don't really know what grey is, I thought I did but I guess I never did! That grey moment I lived in wasn't really grey. We were living for passion and excitement. We...
    ventingagain ventingagain 31-35, F 4 Responses 13 hrs ago

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    I'm married to a wonderful man

    and have two beautiful children but I have been having an affair with a MM for over a year. It's been a tremendous experience for me, both good and bad, and I don't know if I ever want it to end. Lots to talk about sometime but just saying hi to you all for now. I'm so glad I...
    Wikedangel Wikedangel 36-40, F 18 Responses Jan 4

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    Shocking Love Affair

    I must confess something here that I thought, I would never ever talk about in my life. But I have to admit, I had an affair. Yes I did, and now I have to live with it for the rest of my life. Here's my shocking story..... About two weeks ago, I cheated on my true love...I...
    JimMorrisonRocks JimMorrisonRocks 26-30, M 26 Responses Jun 25, 2012

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    I know the affair is over,

    I know it's for the best, I know he won't contact me anymore, I know when we eventually do see each other we will act like neither exists to the other, I know what we meant to each other, I know that no matter how much we promised....we could never stay friends, I know I miss...
    Suzanne1976 Suzanne1976 36-40, F 7 Responses 1 day ago

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    He Doesn'T Know

    But I'm getting ready to leave him. He doesn't know. The love of my life. The most beautiful man that should be mine. All the promises I made him. I will break. He won't leave me ever. He has no reason to. I can't compartmentaliZe. Im not a box. And he's my world. The playing...
    mysecretworld mysecretworld 36-40, F 16 Responses Nov 4, 2013

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    He ended things.. Pulled the trigger

    yet again.. This is the third time. He texted and said he couldn't do this anymore for his own sanity he needed to end things.. He asked me to call him so I did.. He's all freaked out... An absolute mess... All this, Because of Leaving his work phone home unlocked , with...
    Differentforever Differentforever 46-50, F 8 Responses 2 days ago

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    Full of adrenaline right now!

    That overwhelming feeling, smiling far too much and tingling from actual adrenaline running throughout my body! Not from affair excitement-I don't understand that, it's not exiting because of that- I'm just excited to see the man that makes me feel alive!!
    foreverWantingMore foreverWantingMore 31-35, F 31 Responses Jun 18

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    I'm not in a good place.

    .. I can't handle this ... I don't want to be this guy a Anymore a liar and a cheat.. For my own sanity I need to end this.. I need to figure out if I can have a happy life with W or move on. He sent that text to me on Monday after he left his unlocked phone home... And was...
    Differentforever Differentforever 46-50, F 8 Responses 11 hrs ago

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    You have to love cowards

    that comment on your post then block you. Don't they know all you have to do is delete there comments.
    Soevil11 Soevil11 51-55, M 2 Responses 10 hrs ago

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    I am new here and have finally found the

    courage to share my story. My husband and I are finalizing our divorce in a couple of weeks. During our separation I started seeing another man. Shortly after I found out I was pregnant. I brought up children to OM but he was not interested in kids so I didn't share my news. I...
    tigereyes77 tigereyes77 36-40, F 8 Responses 14 hrs ago

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    My Husband's Best Freind

    I t was exactly 1 yr ago. I was so depressed and ready to give up on ever being happy. My husband at the time was being very emotionally and verbally abusive. I got an e-mail from my husband's best freind. He was wondering how we were doing, and needed to talk. He had just split...
    hotandcuddly hotandcuddly 51-55, F 46 Responses Sep 1, 2011

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    I have been in EP for a few months,

    read many stories here, particularly in this experience and other post about had an affair. Just amazed, how easily other shallow peoples tried to judged other person when they have read the experience. Some of us, didn't have plan to be the other woman. And some of MM are also...
    ssally123 ssally123 41-45, F 17 Responses Jan 4

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    So 3 months on and im

    so much better! Obviously still have down days but overall im much more accepting of everything..those of you that are still trapped in an affair with no intention of leaving your spouse, good luck to you! Its a ****** up ride! Its taken 3 months for me to remotely pull myself...
    LionCaged LionCaged 26-30, M 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    I miss you. Our closeness,

    our moments... Not knowing where you are, if you're ok is hurting. I'm sure you need to figure things out. You need time. Just let me know you're alright!
    ExecutiveAsst ExecutiveAsst 46-50, F 5 days ago

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    A few friends and I went out

    for a meal 3 years ago. One of the guys Steve is a very hard drinker - he drinks practically every day to the point of being drunk. His whole life revolves around this - I guess he is an alcoholic in denial. His long suffering wife is a good person and does not deserve the grief...
    andyp3136 andyp3136 51-55 2 hrs ago

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    So MM went all the way to work over a 30 min

    drive..when he got there he realized he left his work phone home!! No lock on it!! W was home... He texted and said Everything is ok but he's not in a good place right now... haven't heard from him sense then.. Men!!! No lock???
    Differentforever Differentforever 46-50, F 7 Responses 2 days ago

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    I hope... ...Every day

    when you wake up, you miss the good morning texts and calls we shared. ...Every night you think about how we would say " goodnight love bug." ...When you see a woman with auburn hair, you think about how you loved to wrap my curls around your fingers when we kissed. ...You...
    Urbancowgirl Urbancowgirl 36-40 10 Responses Dec 16, 2013

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    It's been over for a year.

    The toughest year in my adult life. I believe like everyone, I have an innate emotional intelligence that will direct me to my personal bliss. The affair woke me up to passion, like nothing else has ever done before. I'm more empathic, less judgmental & more open minded than...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 15 Responses May 27

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    He text me last night

    and my heart jumped. I desperately wanted to respond but I didn't. He wanted to see me over the weekend but I didn't meet him. I love him so much and want to lie in his arms like I used to. But I can't. I know it's not a good situation for me. I can not take the guilt that comes...
    Australianladybug Australianladybug 31-35, F 17 Responses Mar 3

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    You got to love cheater

    that think they can give advice.
    Soevil11 Soevil11 51-55, M 3 Responses 10 hrs ago

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    Since football season is upon us,

    I miss MM more I think, if that's possible. We both love football, especially our local team. We would text back and forth about games and what we thought. That's gone, just like so much is gone from my life now. I was thinking....it would be so much easier (I think) if he...
    Suzanne1976 Suzanne1976 36-40, F 4 Responses 3 days ago

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    Maybe you're reading this

    because you are having an affair or had one already or maybe you are thinking about doing it. I can't give advice because I have no clue. All I know is I am recovering and it's been a long recovery. I think the most surprising aspect was the emotion that came with this...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 18 Responses Jan 4

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    I am sitting by the same window.

    Looking out from my work. I remember it was the same afternoon, the same scenery, I dialed your phone number, and asked to see you. You heard my voice and said: "oh wow, it's great!!" I asked: "what is great??" And you replied: "It's great we are talking." You once said: "if...
    myheart99 myheart99 36-40, F 3 Responses 4 days ago

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    Update: Still going strong with my secret love.

    .. I still think about how wrong this is. Every minute, every text....every stolen kiss and every intense moment we share. If it's so wrong, why in the hell does it feel so right?? I asked my husband what would happen if I ever cheated on him... What would he think, what...
    Chelsea84 Chelsea84 26-30, F 18 Responses Feb 8

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    Such a darn yoyo...today I feel a bit stronger

    again. Now im rembering all the reasons me and mm wouldnt work, all the ways that hes a bad idea...he has many good points but he also has a temper and when hes angry he can say really mean things. Hes very apologetic and knows its a problem...promises he wont be mean any more...
    vuexter vuexter 36-40, F 6 Responses 17 hrs ago

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    It's over when it's over Ain't it baby ain't

    it Rips ya like a dagger Can't it baby can't it Wish we could do it over Damn it baby damn it We had in the air we just couldn't land it. Eric Church
    manyregrets manyregrets 36-40, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    I Could Help It

    It started about 4 months ago in the grocery store i caughgt a guy about 23 watching me it kind of creaped me out and excited me at the same time seeing that my husband isnt interested anymore.So i paid for my things and headed for my car. As i turned around that guy had folloed...
    imsweetenough imsweetenough 31-35, F 205 Responses Dec 30, 2011

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    I am having a hard time letting go

    and feel tormented. For me, it is one of the worse feelings in the world when you want to talk to your lover and can't...or they are unresponsive to your requests...it hurts and there is nothing you can do about it because they don't belong to you. The memories and good times...
    Dreamgirl75 Dreamgirl75 36-40, F 22 Responses Apr 10

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    7 1/2 months... I can't believe how different

    my life is. Better? Worse? Not sure.. but I know it's not the same... He changed me forever. There is no looking back. I'm in love with both men... Each one for different reasons.. I won't leave my husband and I can't end things with "him" either ...I'm not ready for that...
    Differentforever Differentforever 46-50, F 23 Responses Mar 25

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    Wow its tough...I go up

    and I go down. Yesterday I was full of confidence that I am doing the right thing by my husband in not contacting him. Today I yearn for him and im low again. Regardless I still won't make contact...just that it's hard. Very very hard.
    vuexter vuexter 36-40, F 8 Responses 2 days ago

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    I was wondering how long it would be

    before I got the nasty responses that ive seen plague other posts...so today I did. I find it strange that my entire purpose for using this is so that I dont contact mm any more, so that I can reach for this instead of reach out to him because im trying to make my marriage work...
    vuexter vuexter 36-40, F 8 Responses 13 hrs ago

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    Do you ever wish you could meet done of the

    friends you have made on here.....the ones who know everything about you but never judge you? We can't have these conversations with our friends (or many of them. I think we all have at least one that we trust enough to tell) ....they might judge/spill our secrets. But out...
    sallyanne44 sallyanne44 41-45, F 18 Responses Jul 30

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    It's officially over!

    I saw his true side and I finally was strong enough to end it. I am hurting but relieved at the same time. This has definitely been a learning experience for me. :( I know in time I will get stronger each and everyday. Thank you to all to my EP friends for your support and...
    Cheeks2014 Cheeks2014 36-40, F 28 Responses Jan 19

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