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I Had An Affair

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 13,631 People

    Today is the first day of no contact AGAIN!

    This time different though because we don't want to be apart. This is no about reassessing or guilt or any negative reason. Mm has to have surgery again. He mentioned several times before his wife does not take care of him while recovering even when we were just "friends". I...
    pjblack pjblack 41-45, F 3 Responses 13 hrs ago

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    I have been in EP for a few months,

    read many stories here, particularly in this experience and other post about had an affair. Just amazed, how easily other shallow peoples tried to judged other person when they have read the experience. Some of us, didn't have plan to be the other woman. And some of MM are also...
    ssally123 ssally123 41-45, F 18 Responses Jan 4

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    Love Should...

    Make you smile, not cry. Bring you comfort, not pain. Ease your mind, not cause restless nights. Fill your heart, not break it. Answer questions, not cause doubts. Brighten your world, not cast shadows on your days. Lift your spirits, not weigh down your soul...
    Urbancowgirl Urbancowgirl 36-40 6 Responses Nov 23, 2013

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    I was married to a man

    for 20 years. We met when I was 16, got married when I was 22, and went on to have 3 kids. The only problem was he drank and over the years, his personality changed to the point of abuse. It was not physical abuse but verbal. He did things like swear at me, punch holes in the...
    leslie0718 leslie0718 41-45, F 12 Responses Feb 4

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    Update: Still going strong with my secret love.

    .. I still think about how wrong this is. Every minute, every text....every stolen kiss and every intense moment we share. If it's so wrong, why in the hell does it feel so right?? I asked my husband what would happen if I ever cheated on him... What would he think, what...
    Chelsea84 Chelsea84 26-30, F 18 Responses Feb 8

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    I'm new here and someone please couch me how to

    forget someone? Yesterday was my day 1 and already (sort of) failed, I woke up in the middle of the night having a panic attack, and reached out to my phone and unblock my MM phone and started to text him. I said I had a nightmare. Of course, he didn't answer, it was 4 am. This...
    Ruby2ng Ruby2ng 36-40, F 4 Responses 2 days ago

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    heartycure heartycure 36-40, F 1 day ago

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    I have come full circle with my affair.

    .. This was the most beautiful yet unhealthiest relationship I have ever engaged in.... I trashed my self esteem, my morals and my heart for this relationship. I loved with every fiber in my body and every cell of my brain yet I was slowly reduced to a friend with no possibility...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 11 Responses Dec 17, 2013

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    Well today is 1 week

    since I sent my "closure" email and I have not heard from MM and neither have I tried to contact him. This week has been a roller coaster...it's still the first thing I think of in the morning and last before I fall asleep, but the dreams are less and I have gotten more sleep...
    Suzanne1976 Suzanne1976 36-40, F 6 Responses 1 day ago

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    I had just turned 21

    and got a job at some taco bell :P my manager had just turned 35. She would always flirt with me but I never took it serious cause I thought she's just that type, she wants you to want her but never have her. One day we started talking about a kiss then I felt it got awkward so...
    toomuchchat toomuchchat 22-25, M 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    After seeing my ap I just couldn't get this

    song out of my head! This is for u.............. Am I wrong for thinking out the box from where I stay? Am I wrong for saying that I choose another way? I ain't tryna do what everybody else doing Just cause everybody doing what they all do If one thing I know, I'll fall but I...
    8312changedmylife 8312changedmylife 46-50, M 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    It's officially over!

    I saw his true side and I finally was strong enough to end it. I am hurting but relieved at the same time. This has definitely been a learning experience for me. :( I know in time I will get stronger each and everyday. Thank you to all to my EP friends for your support and...
    Cheeks2014 Cheeks2014 36-40, F 28 Responses Jan 19

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    Is it wrong that I have thoughts about "outing"

    my AP? He didn't intentionally hurt me, the situation hurt us. He loved me and loves me so much. We both just couldn't be in 2 places at the same time. Even with the immense love between us it was so painful. The affair consumed both of us. But why now that it is over do I have...
    ATH2000 ATH2000 31-35, F 8 Responses 2 days ago

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    He text me last night

    and my heart jumped. I desperately wanted to respond but I didn't. He wanted to see me over the weekend but I didn't meet him. I love him so much and want to lie in his arms like I used to. But I can't. I know it's not a good situation for me. I can not take the guilt that comes...
    Australianladybug Australianladybug 31-35, F 17 Responses Mar 3

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    I am having a hard time letting go

    and feel tormented. For me, it is one of the worse feelings in the world when you want to talk to your lover and can't...or they are unresponsive to your requests...it hurts and there is nothing you can do about it because they don't belong to you. The memories and good times...
    Dreamgirl75 Dreamgirl75 36-40, F 23 Responses Apr 10

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    My Last Letter, That You'Ll Never Get...

    Like a spark to gasoline, your subtle negativity, actions and words concerning your discontent with him lit a fire of hope for me over the past few months - that you would be free for us to be together one day... until yesterday that is. Your words - "yes, I am for sure getting...
    engx74 engx74 36-40, M 10 Responses Sep 8, 2013

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    Today, urged on by an EP friend,

    I deleted the Hotmail account that I had used exclusively, off and on, to correspond with my OW between 2006 and 2013. In there were the early love notes when we were exploring the possibility of crossing the line. I also kept some sad ones from the times that we were apart at...
    Wilbury Wilbury 41-45, M 17 Responses Jan 15

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    "How do you know for sure you loved him?

    " "Because it feels like someone died. You don't grieve lust."
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 11 Responses Mar 22

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    Affair With Son In Law, Now Pregnant

    I have searched all over the web for this situation and I have yet to find anything that remotely correlates.  I lost my job a few months ago and I moved in my eldest daughter and family.  I will admit right here and now that I have always had a crush on...
    littlejon63 littlejon63 46-50 351 Responses Mar 24, 2009

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    No way you call me if it is not

    for something you need to know about my case? C'mon!!! You have my skype, i enjoy talking to you. I think you don't care in the way i do. Though i think you can still feel a bit tiny thibg for me. I miss to hear your voice. I was on the clouds that two weeks that we talked...
    heartycure heartycure 36-40, F 2 days ago

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    I know he fakes at home.

    It doesn't matter if he is in love with me or if I do good or do wrong, he will always go back to her. Why? Well.. the wife wins! Common sense. He thinks, he can always fall back on her. It doesn't matter if she cheats... if she can hardly bear him or doesn't feel...
    Fmina Fmina 51-55, F 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    I Could Help It

    It started about 4 months ago in the grocery store i caughgt a guy about 23 watching me it kind of creaped me out and excited me at the same time seeing that my husband isnt interested anymore.So i paid for my things and headed for my car. As i turned around that guy had folloed...
    imsweetenough imsweetenough 31-35, F 208 Responses Dec 30, 2011

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    You know what's funny is

    that when you stand up to cheaters you consider a bible basher. Will I do believe in god very much. but there's more to it what about just plan honesty and morals has this world got to the point that the are things not worth fighting for. Has it got to the point that this is...
    Soevil10 Soevil10 31-35, M 7 Responses 3 days ago

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    It wasn't so much an affair

    as it was a ******* or 5. During one my husband walked up to the car and caught me. I thought I was in so much trouble. Within two days my husband was begging me to **** the other guy and let him watch.
    greenmountainmomma greenmountainmomma 31-35, F 18 Responses Jan 30

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    I went to talk with a therapist yesterday.

    ..I told her my story..She advised me to wean myself from contact with him and try to reconnect with my H. She claims MM is confusing me about my marriage and I won't know what I want till he's out of the picture. I don't think I'm ready for all of this... I'm not ready for him...
    Differentforever Differentforever 46-50, F 12 Responses 1 day ago

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    So our first 'date' as friends,

    with other friends tonight has been cancelled. My friend is ill. Weather is bad anyway. All week I've had that inner feeling of 'don't go, don't do it' and couldn't put my finger on why!! Still can't really but I've been looking towards our actual 'date' next week which only...
    foreverWantingMore foreverWantingMore 31-35, F 4 Responses 18 hrs ago

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    Maybe you're reading this

    because you are having an affair or had one already or maybe you are thinking about doing it. I can't give advice because I have no clue. All I know is I am recovering and it's been a long recovery. I think the most surprising aspect was the emotion that came with this...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 18 Responses Jan 4

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    More Like, 'my Affair Had Me'

    my affair did have me - for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. it chewed me up, spit me out, and i have yet to recover. we were in love, and probably still are (i definitely am) but ultimately it was my choice to end it - i didnt want to end my marriage for various reasons and knew...
    IJustWantYouToKnowWhoIAm IJustWantYouToKnowWhoIAm 31-35, F 25 Responses Dec 26, 2011

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    I had an emotional affair with someone

    who was once just a friend. I have been married less than a year. My husband found out when he went through my phone and saw some text messages between me and this other guy. I have never felt more horrible. I betrayed the love of my life and put my marriage in jeopardy. I...
    soon2bnurse soon2bnurse 22-25, F 7 Responses 4 days ago

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    Facebook you got to love it.

    it amazing when a cheater gets so upset because she's been called out own it.
    pleasestoplying pleasestoplying 51-55, M 4 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    Yeah I took my therapists advice.

    . MM text "can we meet tonight" Me without hesitation "I would love that" Everything was amazing.. So much for the wean him off idea..and if he wants to see you just make an excuse... Keep your self busy... Saw my therapist on Tuesday.. I'm sure her advise could work if...
    Differentforever Differentforever 46-50, F 6 Responses 18 hrs ago

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    Soevil10 Soevil10 31-35, M 6 Responses 3 days ago

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    We only got whatsapp to speak to each other.

    Only online for each other. I still only have 4 friends on there. But he's online a lot more in the last couple weeks (since he's become single). The urge to say 'you're always online lately and so I guess you've accumulated some women's numbers have you?' is almost too much. He...
    foreverWantingMore foreverWantingMore 31-35, F 3 Responses 29 mins ago

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    My MM once again said he loves me,

    and this time around he added that he is not having sex with his wife, in fact I'm the only woman he is intimate with.. And he used the words, he is not "cheating" on me!! It really sounds completely weird and unbelievable ... A man Not cheating on his mistress with his own wife...
    zoey3000 zoey3000 31-35, F 9 Responses 1 day ago

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    Her passion is fierce.

    Her soul is on fire. She could love you or hate you and either one will leave you desiring for more. She is a great achiever at both and you will feed off her energy. Because it is something you do not hold.
    ventingagain ventingagain 31-35, F 3 Responses 15 hrs ago

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    Secretly glad we didn't meet tonight (as

    looking forward to next weekend moreso). But now it means he is hitting town with his friend. Drunk. Acting like he's 21 again. And he's single. And I'm acting like I'm 21 again-an emotional, needy mess! Will he chat women up? Of course, he's very sociable and friendly-he does...
    foreverWantingMore foreverWantingMore 31-35, F 1 Response 13 hrs ago

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    You know what really grinds my gears?

    When I'm asked about him and I say "it's over, we don't talk anymore" and I get the response, "it's probably better off" or "it's probably for the best." Or better yet they insult him. Um, not ok. That's my job if I feel like it, you don't even know him. "Well, if he would...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 11 Responses 3 days ago

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    He Doesn'T Know

    But I'm getting ready to leave him. He doesn't know. The love of my life. The most beautiful man that should be mine. All the promises I made him. I will break. He won't leave me ever. He has no reason to. I can't compartmentaliZe. Im not a box. And he's my world. The playing...
    mysecretworld mysecretworld 36-40, F 15 Responses Nov 4, 2013

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    An affair... The beginning: The best part.

    The getting to know each other, the can't get enough, the spark, the passion, the excitement, the fun, the romance, the constant communication, you won't fall in love The middle: Still passionate, still exciting, still fun, still communicating regularly, the romance is still...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 9 Responses Feb 22

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    Is it weird that I think the reason I am ok

    with him leaving is because deep down I have the biggest feeling he's gonna come back? It's been a long time no contact but in the back of my head I keep saying he'll be back. Is that wishful thinking? Is that not letting go? Is that coping? I just feel he's going to sooner or...
    Circlesnomore Circlesnomore 31-35, F 7 Responses 1 day ago

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    My Husband's Best Freind

    I t was exactly 1 yr ago. I was so depressed and ready to give up on ever being happy. My husband at the time was being very emotionally and verbally abusive. I got an e-mail from my husband's best freind. He was wondering how we were doing, and needed to talk. He had just split...
    hotandcuddly hotandcuddly 51-55, F 45 Responses Sep 1, 2011

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    I never have to see her again now.

    .now its time to really move on, now its time to stop obsessing, stop checking if shes been online, stop wishing and hoping she cared more. I just hope I've cried my last tear over her..
    LionCaged LionCaged 26-30, M 13 Responses 4 days ago

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    I'm married to a wonderful man

    and have two beautiful children but I have been having an affair with a MM for over a year. It's been a tremendous experience for me, both good and bad, and I don't know if I ever want it to end. Lots to talk about sometime but just saying hi to you all for now. I'm so glad I...
    Wikedangel Wikedangel 36-40, F 19 Responses Jan 4

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    Dear Jonathan And Our Two Children.....i'm So Sorry.

    Tomorrow 01/13/13 is the1 year anniversary of my relationship with the man I'm having an affair with, the man I compromised my entire life for, the man I chose over my family when I got caught 6 months ago, and the man I currently live with today. And 1 year ago tomorrow I...
    Annie3321 Annie3321 26-30, F 86 Responses Jan 12, 2013

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    I am married with kids,

    he is also married with kids. Going on since last November. I'm addicted to him and our trysts. I tried to end it on numerous occasions because I know it is morally wrong. Obviously that didn't last. I love what we have and love him too. It will never happen between us...
    SexyMomma37 SexyMomma37 36-40, F 16 Responses Mar 13

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    I've found a great song

    for the ending of an affair. I can't believe I hadn't heard it before. Leaving New York by REM. I think it is about being in a relationship and coming to the realisation that the best is behind you and that if one of you doesn't leave now, the other one eventually will and...
    lilsecret1 lilsecret1 36-40, F 5 Responses 4 days ago

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    I caught my wife cheating with a married 10

    years ago . The best thing I did beside putting her out was tell his wife everything. I get so much happiness seeing him lose everything. Now when I see him in his used old truck I have to laugh losing his new truck and house to his ex. she's since remarried had has a happy...
    pleasestoplying pleasestoplying 51-55, M 5 Responses 8 hrs ago

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    It's the same old saying,

    they want you to do good until your doing better than them. I am not sorry your husband loved me. I am not sorry your husband had sex with me. I am not sorry we had an affair. I am not sorry he was willing to leave your marriage over it. I am not sorry for saying that you have a...
    ventingagain ventingagain 31-35, F 9 Responses 2 days ago

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    Shocking Love Affair

    I must confess something here that I thought, I would never ever talk about in my life. But I have to admit, I had an affair. Yes I did, and now I have to live with it for the rest of my life. Here's my shocking story..... About two weeks ago, I cheated on my true love...I...
    JimMorrisonRocks JimMorrisonRocks 26-30, M 26 Responses Jun 25, 2012

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    Do you ever wish you could meet done of the

    friends you have made on here.....the ones who know everything about you but never judge you? We can't have these conversations with our friends (or many of them. I think we all have at least one that we trust enough to tell) ....they might judge/spill our secrets. But out...
    sallyanne44 sallyanne44 41-45, F 15 Responses 2 days ago

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    It's been over for a year.

    The toughest year in my adult life. I believe like everyone, I have an innate emotional intelligence that will direct me to my personal bliss. The affair woke me up to passion, like nothing else has ever done before. I'm more empathic, less judgmental & more open minded than...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 14 Responses May 27

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    Her spirit was so full of life

    and wild everyone wanted to be around her. They drank her in like water. And the very few that say they don't like 'the water' were only envious because they didn't carry the same magic
    ventingagain ventingagain 31-35, F 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    I hope... ...Every day

    when you wake up, you miss the good morning texts and calls we shared. ...Every night you think about how we would say " goodnight love bug." ...When you see a woman with auburn hair, you think about how you loved to wrap my curls around your fingers when we kissed. ...You...
    Urbancowgirl Urbancowgirl 36-40 10 Responses Dec 16, 2013

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