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I Had An Affair

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 13,626 People

    So after some thought

    and review of my own experience and others I have discovered the following. If you are involved in an affair there is something major missing from your marriage. We seem willing ( especially us women) to be used by our AP for their own satisfaction even at the expense of our...
    lovinglife11 lovinglife11 31-35, F 18 Responses Mar 27

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    "How do you know for sure you loved him?

    " "Because it feels like someone died. You don't grieve lust."
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 11 Responses Mar 22

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    Affair With Son In Law, Now Pregnant

    I have searched all over the web for this situation and I have yet to find anything that remotely correlates.  I lost my job a few months ago and I moved in my eldest daughter and family.  I will admit right here and now that I have always had a crush on...
    littlejon63 littlejon63 46-50 351 Responses Mar 24, 2009

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    Letmecheckyourshorts Letmecheckyourshorts 22-25, F 56 Responses Jan 12

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    No way you call me if it is not

    for something you need to know about my case? C'mon!!! You have my skype, i enjoy talking to you. I think you don't care in the way i do. Though i think you can still feel a bit tiny thibg for me. I miss to hear your voice. I was on the clouds that two weeks that we talked...
    heartycure heartycure 36-40, F 11 hrs ago

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    I was married to a man

    for 20 years. We met when I was 16, got married when I was 22, and went on to have 3 kids. The only problem was he drank and over the years, his personality changed to the point of abuse. It was not physical abuse but verbal. He did things like swear at me, punch holes in the...
    leslie0718 leslie0718 41-45, F 12 Responses Feb 4

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    Another late night chat,

    late night "text" chats are reserved for me..... Yes we chat 2 - 3 hours a few times a week and other days the regular "hi, how are you" or "good night" , occasionally we have no contact for approx. 3 days, which kills me. Because text/ phone call is all I have.we see each other...
    zoey3000 zoey3000 31-35, F 4 Responses 5 days ago

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    You know what's funny is

    that when you stand up to cheaters you consider a bible basher. Will I do believe in god very much. but there's more to it what about just plan honesty and morals has this world got to the point that the are things not worth fighting for. Has it got to the point that this is...
    Soevil10 Soevil10 31-35, M 8 Responses 1 day ago

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    My Husband's Best Freind

    I t was exactly 1 yr ago. I was so depressed and ready to give up on ever being happy. My husband at the time was being very emotionally and verbally abusive. I got an e-mail from my husband's best freind. He was wondering how we were doing, and needed to talk. He had just split...
    hotandcuddly hotandcuddly 51-55, F 45 Responses Sep 1, 2011

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    I had an emotional affair with someone

    who was once just a friend. I have been married less than a year. My husband found out when he went through my phone and saw some text messages between me and this other guy. I have never felt more horrible. I betrayed the love of my life and put my marriage in jeopardy. I...
    soon2bnurse soon2bnurse 22-25, F 7 Responses 2 days ago

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    Shocking Love Affair

    I must confess something here that I thought, I would never ever talk about in my life. But I have to admit, I had an affair. Yes I did, and now I have to live with it for the rest of my life. Here's my shocking story..... About two weeks ago, I cheated on my true love...I...
    JimMorrisonRocks JimMorrisonRocks 26-30, M 26 Responses Jun 25, 2012

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    It's the same old saying,

    they want you to do good until your doing better than them. I am not sorry your husband loved me. I am not sorry your husband had sex with me. I am not sorry we had an affair. I am not sorry he was willing to leave your marriage over it. I am not sorry for saying that you have a...
    ventingagain ventingagain 31-35, F 9 Responses 21 hrs ago

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    It's officially over!

    I saw his true side and I finally was strong enough to end it. I am hurting but relieved at the same time. This has definitely been a learning experience for me. :( I know in time I will get stronger each and everyday. Thank you to all to my EP friends for your support and...
    Cheeks2014 Cheeks2014 36-40, F 28 Responses Jan 19

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    Soevil10 Soevil10 31-35, M 6 Responses 1 day ago

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    Ok question : how many of you met someone off

    of pof ? Nerveous? What happened when u first saw them and if you thought they were not cute etc, but looked cute in their pics ? Or if you liked then was there chemistry ? I'm meeting someone for the first time off there, he looks cute in his pics but some pics he aver me...
    js1276 js1276 36-40, F 5 Responses 4 days ago

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    I hope... ...Every day

    when you wake up, you miss the good morning texts and calls we shared. ...Every night you think about how we would say " goodnight love bug." ...When you see a woman with auburn hair, you think about how you loved to wrap my curls around your fingers when we kissed. ...You...
    Urbancowgirl Urbancowgirl 36-40 10 Responses Dec 16, 2013

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    After no reply to my asking

    for a meeting for closure, I went ahead and sent a message saying everything I needed to say. I know he won't reply. Probably for the best. Today starts my counting of no contact, I will not let myself send anymore messages. I just can't take the hurt and rejection anymore. I...
    Suzanne1976 Suzanne1976 36-40, F 12 Responses 5 days ago

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    I try bringing my H close to me.

    .. Then I push him away... I think I might be purposely picking fights with him.. I'm driving him crazy.. Now after all this time..I finally have his attention.. I longed for it .. for "him" for so many months.. He is right in front of me waiting to give.. I reach for...
    Differentforever Differentforever 46-50, F 26 Responses 3 days ago

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    Dear Jonathan And Our Two Children.....i'm So Sorry.

    Tomorrow 01/13/13 is the1 year anniversary of my relationship with the man I'm having an affair with, the man I compromised my entire life for, the man I chose over my family when I got caught 6 months ago, and the man I currently live with today. And 1 year ago tomorrow I...
    Annie3321 Annie3321 26-30, F 86 Responses Jan 12, 2013

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    How I miss those days .

    . when MM and I used to chat for hours. I so believed in him. How I miss those days when all was pure in my heart.. I had hopes... I truly loved that sunshine man.. I loved his light.. I loved his living energy. Now all lights are dim. I had a dream. He was two people... the...
    Fmina Fmina 51-55, F 9 Responses 5 days ago

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    It wasn't so much an affair

    as it was a ******* or 5. During one my husband walked up to the car and caught me. I thought I was in so much trouble. Within two days my husband was begging me to **** the other guy and let him watch.
    greenmountainmomma greenmountainmomma 31-35, F 18 Responses Jan 30

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    Two Lovers, One Night.

    I'm afraid this is going to make me sound slutty. That is not really the case, i have just had weak moments in my life. I’m going to leave a lot of the mundane details out of this story to make it more interesting. This did happen several years ago but by highlighting the...
    emstioy emstioy 46-50, F 67 Responses Jan 8, 2012

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    I am having a hard time letting go

    and feel tormented. For me, it is one of the worse feelings in the world when you want to talk to your lover and can't...or they are unresponsive to your requests...it hurts and there is nothing you can do about it because they don't belong to you. The memories and good times...
    Dreamgirl75 Dreamgirl75 36-40, F 23 Responses Apr 10

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    He Doesn'T Know

    But I'm getting ready to leave him. He doesn't know. The love of my life. The most beautiful man that should be mine. All the promises I made him. I will break. He won't leave me ever. He has no reason to. I can't compartmentaliZe. Im not a box. And he's my world. The playing...
    mysecretworld mysecretworld 36-40, F 15 Responses Nov 4, 2013

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    Do you ever wish you could meet done of the

    friends you have made on here.....the ones who know everything about you but never judge you? We can't have these conversations with our friends (or many of them. I think we all have at least one that we trust enough to tell) ....they might judge/spill our secrets. But out...
    sallyanne44 sallyanne44 41-45, F 15 Responses 1 day ago

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    I have been married for 16 years

    and never thought of an affair. Two years ago I met someone at work who I felt some magnificent attraction to and I never could understand it. We spent much of this 2 years joking with each other and trying to find projects to work on together. The whole time I knew where this...
    surfandturf surfandturf 36-40, F 9 Responses 2 days ago

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    I looked at the photo

    and letter he gave me. first I saw a good looking man than I looked again and saw all his faults in his face. He used to be beautiful to me but he's really not that good looking.. Haha I saw his little ears and weird smile. And then I looked again and he even begun to look...
    ventingagain ventingagain 31-35, F 5 days ago

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    He text me last night

    and my heart jumped. I desperately wanted to respond but I didn't. He wanted to see me over the weekend but I didn't meet him. I love him so much and want to lie in his arms like I used to. But I can't. I know it's not a good situation for me. I can not take the guilt that comes...
    Australianladybug Australianladybug 31-35, F 17 Responses Mar 3

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    I am married with kids,

    he is also married with kids. Going on since last November. I'm addicted to him and our trysts. I tried to end it on numerous occasions because I know it is morally wrong. Obviously that didn't last. I love what we have and love him too. It will never happen between us...
    SexyMomma37 SexyMomma37 36-40, F 16 Responses Mar 13

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    Seeing each other Friday :) Him

    and his friend and me and mine (who all know everything) coming to my part of the country for some drinks and BBQ on the beach! Obviously will be all platonic but that's good, I'm seeing him next weekend for a cinema date anyway so this can be like the lead up ;) saying that, we...
    foreverWantingMore foreverWantingMore 31-35, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    I went to talk with a therapist yesterday.

    ..I told her my story..She advised me to wean myself from contact with him and try to reconnect with my H. She claims MM is confusing me about my marriage and I won't know what I want till he's out of the picture. I don't think I'm ready for all of this... I'm not ready for him...
    Differentforever Differentforever 46-50, F 8 Responses 2 hrs ago

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    I had just turned 21

    and got a job at some taco bell :P my manager had just turned 35. She would always flirt with me but I never took it serious cause I thought she's just that type, she wants you to want her but never have her. One day we started talking about a kiss then I felt it got awkward so...
    toomuchchat toomuchchat 22-25, M 3 Responses 19 hrs ago

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    I have come full circle with my affair.

    .. This was the most beautiful yet unhealthiest relationship I have ever engaged in.... I trashed my self esteem, my morals and my heart for this relationship. I loved with every fiber in my body and every cell of my brain yet I was slowly reduced to a friend with no possibility...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 11 Responses Dec 17, 2013

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    When it ended for me 9 months ago,

    I didn't want to hear about Time being the healing factor, because time was just an inanimate word and the burning pain in my chest and soul could not be soothed. Time was a vacuum.. a void. Being in 2 relationships never made sense to me. It's some kind of "temporary...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 10 Responses Jan 10

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    I Could Help It

    It started about 4 months ago in the grocery store i caughgt a guy about 23 watching me it kind of creaped me out and excited me at the same time seeing that my husband isnt interested anymore.So i paid for my things and headed for my car. As i turned around that guy had folloed...
    imsweetenough imsweetenough 31-35, F 208 Responses Dec 30, 2011

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    I never have to see her again now.

    .now its time to really move on, now its time to stop obsessing, stop checking if shes been online, stop wishing and hoping she cared more. I just hope I've cried my last tear over her..
    Greggerz Greggerz 26-30, M 13 Responses 2 days ago

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    Why am I having an affair?

    All marriages go thru lows.. Yes.. mine hit rock bottom. He was out of work and drunk everyday... He was miserable.. He had no desire for sex.. I lost my friend.. I thought I tried to reach him.. But did I try hard enough? Then "he" comes in my life... Right when I...
    Differentforever Differentforever 46-50, F 10 Responses 5 days ago

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    Update: Still going strong with my secret love.

    .. I still think about how wrong this is. Every minute, every text....every stolen kiss and every intense moment we share. If it's so wrong, why in the hell does it feel so right?? I asked my husband what would happen if I ever cheated on him... What would he think, what...
    Chelsea84 Chelsea84 26-30, F 18 Responses Feb 8

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    The song Stay With Me by Sam Smith is stuck in

    my head. I can hear, and feel his emotions so much through his voice. So relatable, except for me, I believe it is love. I'm going to keep my head up, and make it through another day without contacting him, even though I want to so bad. I think for me a big part of the blow...
    Ditto85 Ditto85 26-30 5 Responses 5 days ago

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    I'm new here and someone please couch me how to

    forget someone? Yesterday was my day 1 and already (sort of) failed, I woke up in the middle of the night having a panic attack, and reached out to my phone and unblock my MM phone and started to text him. I said I had a nightmare. Of course, he didn't answer, it was 4 am. This...
    Ruby2ng Ruby2ng 36-40, F 4 Responses 23 hrs ago

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    My Last Letter, That You'Ll Never Get...

    Like a spark to gasoline, your subtle negativity, actions and words concerning your discontent with him lit a fire of hope for me over the past few months - that you would be free for us to be together one day... until yesterday that is. Your words - "yes, I am for sure getting...
    engx74 engx74 36-40, M 10 Responses Sep 8, 2013

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    Maybe you're reading this

    because you are having an affair or had one already or maybe you are thinking about doing it. I can't give advice because I have no clue. All I know is I am recovering and it's been a long recovery. I think the most surprising aspect was the emotion that came with this...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 18 Responses Jan 4

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    Urgh I'm being ridiculous tonight!

    Waiting for a txt to come through so I could work out how long he stayed out for, if that meant he met someone else tonight, etc etc. ok so I fell asleep two hours ago so not too much waiting and he txt as I fell asleep! But how ridiculous I am allowing myself to be consumed by...
    foreverWantingMore foreverWantingMore 31-35, F 4 Responses 5 days ago

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    It's been over for a year.

    The toughest year in my adult life. I believe like everyone, I have an innate emotional intelligence that will direct me to my personal bliss. The affair woke me up to passion, like nothing else has ever done before. I'm more empathic, less judgmental & more open minded than...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 14 Responses May 27

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    More Like, 'my Affair Had Me'

    my affair did have me - for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. it chewed me up, spit me out, and i have yet to recover. we were in love, and probably still are (i definitely am) but ultimately it was my choice to end it - i didnt want to end my marriage for various reasons and knew...
    IJustWantYouToKnowWhoIAm IJustWantYouToKnowWhoIAm 31-35, F 25 Responses Dec 26, 2011

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    Today, urged on by an EP friend,

    I deleted the Hotmail account that I had used exclusively, off and on, to correspond with my OW between 2006 and 2013. In there were the early love notes when we were exploring the possibility of crossing the line. I also kept some sad ones from the times that we were apart at...
    Wilbury Wilbury 41-45, M 17 Responses Jan 15

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    You know it's sad when people think god is

    involved in there cheating. God is never in evil things and cheating is evil anyway you put it. God turns he's head to cheaters.
    Soevil9 Soevil9 51-55, M 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    Had a bad night last night thinking of you.

    Every memory came at me at once, playing like a movie in my head. I cried myself to sleep. I'm still hurting and trying to move on. I still miss u AB
    js1276 js1276 36-40, F 6 Responses 1 day ago

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    This is not an easy mission.

    If you are weak reconsider. If you are men.. could be easier for you.. if you are women.. oh well... you really do need a manual, "before and after the candle light period" Lesson No 1. : LOVE YOURSELF Hey sexy lady, I like your flow. Your body's bangin, out of...
    SwanLake78 SwanLake78 36-40, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    I've found a great song

    for the ending of an affair. I can't believe I hadn't heard it before. Leaving New York by REM. I think it is about being in a relationship and coming to the realisation that the best is behind you and that if one of you doesn't leave now, the other one eventually will and...
    lilsecret1 lilsecret1 36-40, F 5 Responses 2 days ago

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    You know what really grinds my gears?

    When I'm asked about him and I say "it's over, we don't talk anymore" and I get the response, "it's probably better off" or "it's probably for the best." Or better yet they insult him. Um, not ok. That's my job if I feel like it, you don't even know him. "Well, if he would...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 12 Responses 1 day ago

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    Is it wrong that I have thoughts about "outing"

    my AP? He didn't intentionally hurt me, the situation hurt us. He loved me and loves me so much. We both just couldn't be in 2 places at the same time. Even with the immense love between us it was so painful. The affair consumed both of us. But why now that it is over do I have...
    ATH2000 ATH2000 31-35, F 8 Responses 1 day ago

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    With an old friend of mine he was

    so much more gentle then the man I love . Our sex was so much more passionate the compatibility was amazing but still I can't be with him . I can't leave my man.
    Sincerelynia Sincerelynia 18-21, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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