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I Had An Affair

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 14,666 People

    So I read that a sexless marriage makes one look

    for every possible pit in town. Shape, age, compatibility does not matter in wanting to find affection or the rush of release. Once found. The validation, the probe, the examining from all angles and the natural connection, he turns his back. Returns to his cave of duties...
    Fmina Fmina 51-55, F 4 Responses Aug 23

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    Okay, folks, an unusual situation here.

    About a year ago I started an affair with a married man, who, like myself, longed for intimacy (not just sexual). Our marriages do not afford that and we both experience broken communication with unavailable spouses. We ended up clicking in a beautiful way, physically as well...
    Cestmoi2019 Cestmoi2019 36-40, F 9 Responses 2 days ago

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    I am drowning in an ocean inside,

    but I have to fake a smile to everyone on the outside. My ex ap just proposed to his girlfriend, and I am crushed...mainly because our relationship just ended recently, and he doesn't seem fazed by it at all. How can he be in the mindset for engagement after what just happened...
    broken418 broken418 22-25, F 17 Responses Aug 24

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    70 days..still hurts.

    .still miss him..but I'm starting to be able to focus on other things..I didn't realize I had narrowed my existence do much to him..there wasn't room for anything else.. no wonder everyone else was so frustrated with me..my whole existence was on his needs...
    Bancy918 Bancy918 51-55 4 Responses Aug 19

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    The nature of forbidden love is uncertainties.

    I hated that. I hated that feeling of there is no tomorrow. Any promises are just fake and empty. I hated that. I cannot say about others' affairs. But mine was a mirage, an escape, a fantasy, but in realty, in retrospect, it was a lie. I was lying to myself to believe that he...
    MorningRose10 MorningRose10 31-35, F 9 Responses Aug 23

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    I signed up on Ashley Madison

    for less than 24 hours and now my email is out there. My husband doesn't pay attention to the news so I doubt he will take the time to search. I never even talked to anyone on there. I was just looking.
    KandyFoxx KandyFoxx 31-35, F 5 Responses Aug 21

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    Hi all. Here's a question

    for you all. When you have had or are having an affair, is there any expectation of the affair lasting long term forever or do both sides understand that the nature of an affair is finite with an undetermined end date (as hard as that may be to think about).
    NJBeachGuy NJBeachGuy 51-55, M 17 Responses Aug 21

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    I'm an affair success story.

    In a short period of time, my life took a direction that I never thought possible. I never saw it coming, did things I never thought I was ever capable of, and struggled through some turmoil...but it took my life in a direction that was best for me. This is quite long, as I'm...
    happyasever happyasever 31-35, F 7 Responses Nov 23, 2014

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    "Very often we don’t go elsewhere

    because we are looking for another person. We go elsewhere because we are looking for another self. It isn’t so much that we want to leave the person we are with as we want to leave the person we have become." Nothing could explain the last year of my life better than this...
    AnnUrban AnnUrban 26-30, F 13 Responses Aug 20

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    Dear Haters: I would like to give you an

    insight of a person that is currently involved in having an affair and giving this insight might give you a different opinion of us...might not agree with our actions but never judge someone before you know the entire story....so here it goes... We are human...we are daughters...
    excessbaggage excessbaggage 41-45, F 37 Responses Sep 16, 2014

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    After two years of random calls

    and texts from xmm, we finally met. It was friendly and sweet and had a touch of the surreal to it. I wasn't meeting him to rekindle anything, nor was he. I'm certainly not interested in anything like that after all I've been through to recover my own sanity and peace...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 13 Responses May 28

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    I asked myself today,

    what did I learn from all this? The lesson for me is *Stay the heck away from a married man!* Until now, I kept convincing myself that he was separated when I met him.. his wife had a kid from another guy... she was a B and a User and a cheater.. yada yada yada. Time to fess...
    Fmina Fmina 51-55, F 40 Responses Feb 10

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    I have come full circle with my affair.

    .. This was the most beautiful yet unhealthiest relationship I have ever engaged in.... I trashed my self esteem, my morals and my heart for this relationship. I loved with every fiber in my body and every cell of my brain yet I was slowly reduced to a friend with no possibility...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 8 Responses Dec 17, 2013

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    so ..I as everyone else just saw the Ashley

    Madison on news...my mm is on there... I'm sorry.. I laughed so hard.. all those lies!!! what kind of an idiot am I? thank god at least I can say I've owned my part in this and that is now between him and his wife...she will fund out...she saw it in his email.. he gave her...
    Bancy918 Bancy918 51-55 3 Responses Aug 21

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    My AP apparently has a new girlfriend.

    I found out from a mutual friend. I talk to him a few times a week and he acts like nothing has changed. He's screwing with my head again.
    KandyFoxx KandyFoxx 31-35, F 3 Responses 6 days ago

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    with a married man that ended tragically.

    I was left devastated, hurt, confused and an empty shell of a woman. All that I ever wanted in life was to be successful at any and everything I touched. I have a great career, loving family and a few close friends. I thought my life was content but needed a loving partner to...
    Hunniebae Hunniebae 26-30, F 11 Responses Apr 1

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    I am married, so is he.

    I love my husband, I love the man I had an affair with, I'm a mess. Let me be clear, this is the first time I've done this. And I've been married over 25 years. I got married very young, had kids very young. Devoted myself to my family completely. I know I was wrong.im not...
    lolagrace90 lolagrace90 41-45, F 18 Responses Aug 22

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    “The one thing I know

    for sure is that feelings are rarely mutual, so when they are, drop everything, forget belongings and expectations, forget the games, the two days between texts, the hard to gets because this is it, this is what the entire world is after and you’ve stumbled upon it by chance...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 5 Responses 8 hrs ago

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    It was off and on for almost three years.

    And it was totally off for extended periods of time. But it's true what they say about the importance of No Contact (NC). Contact just started it up again every time. Well now it's off again. I never intended to leave my marriage and she's hell bent on getting out of hers. I...
    SeeMeSmirk SeeMeSmirk 41-45, M 10 Responses Aug 19

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    I was curious if my MM still had sex with his

    wife. Especially, after he started texting me provocative texts on what he wanted to do to me and before then, when we met and I had to put up a fight although he had promised to be 'good'. And a few other befores. I was working on the friends, admittedly continuing to have...
    Fmina Fmina 51-55, F 15 Responses a week ago

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    There are numerous older men in the world

    who are single and seeking someone special in their life. For all such men, AgeMeet.com has been created as a reliable online platform to find women for dating and companionship. The spokesperson reports that many older men have started finding perfect companions through their...
    earthlingcc11 earthlingcc11 26-30, F 1 day ago

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    Dear Wife, Your husband has been cheating on

    you for 10 years with all different women, he never engaged in relationships, just sex. Until he met me. The first time it happened, I felt bad, but not really, it was only going to be that once. Of course, though, it didn't stay that way. After then we got to know each...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 10 Responses Feb 13

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    So after some thought

    and review of my own experience and others I have discovered the following. If you are involved in an affair there is something major missing from your marriage. We seem willing ( especially us women) to be used by our AP for their own satisfaction even at the expense of our...
    Freedomnow01 Freedomnow01 31-35, F 16 Responses Mar 27, 2014

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    I don't miss him. I miss corny / adorable /

    endearing / intelligent / sexy / understanding / funny / fun all wrapped into one.
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    It's officially over!

    I saw his true side and I finally was strong enough to end it. I am hurting but relieved at the same time. This has definitely been a learning experience for me. :( I know in time I will get stronger each and everyday. Thank you to all to my EP friends for your support and...
    Cheeks2014 Cheeks2014 36-40, F 25 Responses Jan 19, 2014

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    I'm hurt, sad , numb ,

    lost, confused. I ended a 2 yr affair 3 days ago. I am married and my Ap is single. I love him, am in love with him. However our relationship for the most part was TOXIC & UGLY. Omg the constant arguing his lack of respect, his controlling behavior, he hated that I was married, I...
    IWhoAmI IWhoAmI 31-35, F 11 Responses 4 days ago

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    I hope... ...Every day

    when you wake up, you miss the good morning texts and calls we shared. ...Every night you think about how we would say " goodnight love bug." ...When you see a woman with auburn hair, you think about how you loved to wrap my curls around your fingers when we kissed. ...You...
    Urbancowgirl Urbancowgirl 36-40 12 Responses Dec 16, 2013

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    So I'm learning a new reality from EP.

    Getting the perspective from some of you here, especially the opposite sex really hits you like a brick. It's much needed and I thank you, no matter how painful the truth really is.
    seashaker seashaker 46-50, F 5 Responses 6 days ago

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    The morning dawn removes the hidden of the

    night's dark. An affair that goes no-where is an illusion that the Other Person, the MM, the AP lives. Ours is the disappointment to see the coward on day light... {Continuing the sentence, I wanted to say ... the coward who cannot make love into reality, but that opens a...
    Fmina Fmina 51-55, F 2 Responses Aug 23

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    Hi, I'm looking for some help from the guys in

    this group. I didn't have an affair, I was cheated on. I left and I'm dating again. I want to know what makes you cheat, aside from a waning sec life?
    paliglass paliglass 31-35, F 7 Responses 3 days ago

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    There are numerous older men in the world

    who are single and seeking someone special in their life. For all such men, AgeMeet.com has been created as a reliable online platform to find women for dating and companionship. The spokesperson reports that many older men have started finding perfect companions through their...
    alicacc11 alicacc11 26-30, F Aug 19

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    Feeling really excited about meeting up with a

    new MM on Friday. Well I've been with him before but he comes and goes like the wind.. It's been over 8 months... I call him Houdini.. Lol I think it's good that he's like that so I don't get attached and fall in love get deeply hurt like I did with... You guys know who...
    Differentforever Differentforever 46-50, F Aug 19

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    My Husband's Best Freind

    I t was exactly 1 yr ago. I was so depressed and ready to give up on ever being happy. My husband at the time was being very emotionally and verbally abusive. I got an e-mail from my husband's best freind. He was wondering how we were doing, and needed to talk. He had just split...
    hotandcuddly hotandcuddly 51-55, F 43 Responses Sep 1, 2011

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    An affair... The beginning: The best part.

    The getting to know each other, the can't get enough, the spark, the passion, the excitement, the fun, the romance, the constant communication, you won't fall in love The middle: Still passionate, still exciting, still fun, still communicating regularly, the romance is still...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 14 Responses Feb 22, 2014

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    I am a father of 2 boys.

    I've been married over a decade. I am a professional with a career, home and financial security. I have loving parents, loving dog and good friends. I am able to enjoy my sports teams and hit the gym 5 days a week. I am also an addict. As nat king cole sang, some call it...
    MyThermopylae MyThermopylae 41-45, M 15 Responses Nov 3, 2014

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    Feeling really good today.

    . Spent time with a the new MM man again yesterday..He's so into me, I love it! I will never ever waist my time again on a man that's not!
    Differentforever Differentforever 46-50, F 18 Responses Jan 23

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    Do you ever wish you could meet done of the

    friends you have made on here.....the ones who know everything about you but never judge you? We can't have these conversations with our friends (or many of them. I think we all have at least one that we trust enough to tell) ....they might judge/spill our secrets. But out...
    sallyanne44 sallyanne44 46-50, F 16 Responses Jul 30, 2014

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    "And the dilemmas of love

    and desire, they don't yield just simple answers of black and white and good and bad, and victim and perpetrator. Betrayal in a relationship comes in many forms. There are many ways that we betray our partner: with contempt, with neglect, with indifference, with violence. Sexual...
    AnnUrban AnnUrban 26-30, F 2 Responses Aug 21

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    I'm about to end my 1 year relationship with my

    mm. Have not seen each other for 4 months. Confronted him about it and all I get is the same answers " I'm sorry ". I can't see you this week. I'm working late again and working the weekend again cause I have to finish my protect ". " I'm just so tired sweety". " I don't...
    js1276 js1276 41-45, F 11 Responses 2 days ago

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    "I'm afraid of changing

    because I built my life around you." I remember how the Landslide song came on while I sat with my ex ap in the back of a restaurant. His hands caressed my face and he called me his secret wife. I felt so close to him and in love. I felt as if he would never leave me. Well he...
    broken418 broken418 22-25, F 3 Responses Aug 20

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    Today, urged on by an EP friend,

    I deleted the Hotmail account that I had used exclusively, off and on, to correspond with my OW between 2006 and 2013. In there were the early love notes when we were exploring the possibility of crossing the line. I also kept some sad ones from the times that we were apart at...
    Wilbury Wilbury 46-50, M 17 Responses Jan 15, 2014

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    We had met and got instantly lost in a riveting

    conversation at an evening function. Looking around after a while, we noted the place had emptied. Standing alone, we were the last two people to leave. Time had stood still. We giggled and parted politely, promising to chat again soon. A month or so later, I saw you at a...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 14 Responses May 6

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    Affair With Son In Law, Now Pregnant

    I have searched all over the web for this situation and I have yet to find anything that remotely correlates.  I lost my job a few months ago and I moved in my eldest daughter and family.  I will admit right here and now that I have always had a crush on...
    littlejon63 littlejon63 46-50 351 Responses Mar 24, 2009

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    What a storm in a teacup affairs really ARE.

    .. All contained within the walls of our hearts and minds, never to see the light of day. Haunting in their hidden beauty and their memorable "one liners". Covered with innuendos and lies just to have that one more hug, one more look, one more talk, one more kiss, then one more...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 21 Responses Oct 13, 2014

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    Waking up next to my husband,

    but still feeling so alone. First thought in my head is my Ap of course. I go to bed with him on my mind, I wake up with him on my mind. I turn and look at my husband as he's sleeping and the guilt I feel for what I have done. He never deserved what I've done. I don't think he...
    IWhoAmI IWhoAmI 31-35, F 30 Responses 1 day ago

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    "I can almost hear Your heart in the

    darkness How fast it is beating How close you are to me I can almost hear How tensely you are breathing Out there in the darkness Listening for me I can almost sense Your skin on my fingers Tension and the fear Anticipating me I can almost see you Somewhere in the darkness...
    broken418 broken418 22-25, F 2 Responses