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I Had An Affair

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 14,038 People

    Sometimes I have these belting pains in my heart

    when I think of you, then I think of all the bullshit that came with you. It's been 3 months and I still feel anger and hate towards you. Sometimes I think....I'm not done with you yet. Wait for it......
    Linley242 Linley242 51-55, F 4 Responses 2 days ago

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    So after some thought

    and review of my own experience and others I have discovered the following. If you are involved in an affair there is something major missing from your marriage. We seem willing ( especially us women) to be used by our AP for their own satisfaction even at the expense of our...
    lovinglife11 lovinglife11 31-35, F 20 Responses Mar 27

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    Second night "single" --

    so I made it through my first night alone. I can't remember the last time I slept without him, yet still amongst a little haze and confusion, I think I am enjoying the house to myself... A lot. I'm wondering if there's a way I can stay here. I'll have to go on a strict budget...
    wantingtobehappy84 wantingtobehappy84 22-25, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    I'm an affair success story.

    In a short period of time, my life took a direction that I never thought possible. I never saw it coming, did things I never thought I was ever capable of, and struggled through some turmoil...but it took my life in a direction that was best for me. This is quite long, as I'm...
    happyasever happyasever 31-35, F 7 Responses 4 days ago

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    Love, You will never read these words I write

    or know the true depth of grief I feel or how achingly I miss you. I sit out here with the fall weather upon us, the setting sun and the cool breeze and wish you were by my side, my arms wrapped around you and our foreheads together, closing our eyes and treasuring the moment...
    2ndBruin 2ndBruin 41-45, M 7 Responses 1 day ago

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    Two Lovers, One Night.

    I'm afraid this is going to make me sound slutty. That is not really the case, i have just had weak moments in my life. I’m going to leave a lot of the mundane details out of this story to make it more interesting. This did happen several years ago but by highlighting the...
    emstioy emstioy 46-50, F 68 Responses Jan 8, 2012

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    why do people like to call the ap women home

    wrecker??!! Come on... So sad to hear people say that.. It's ignorant, judge mental and so much more...truth is... If the home wasn't off to begin with the affair wouldn't have happened. It takes two people to make an affair work. So if anyone is a home wrecker it's the dam...
    stonejumper stonejumper 41-45, F 35 Responses Nov 19

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    I don't think I can see him again.

    I want to but I know it's not good for me. I told him maybe he shouldn't try so hard to be cold and distant and maybe he would enjoy things more. He said we aren't married or in a relationship. He tried to play it off as a joke. He doesn't know if he's coming or going most of...
    lovinglife11 lovinglife11 31-35, F 2 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    I am married with kids,

    he is also married with kids. Going on since last November. I'm addicted to him and our trysts. I tried to end it on numerous occasions because I know it is morally wrong. Obviously that didn't last. I love what we have and love him too. It will never happen between us...
    SexyMomma37 SexyMomma37 36-40, F 14 Responses Mar 13

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    I am having a hard time letting go

    and feel tormented. For me, it is one of the worse feelings in the world when you want to talk to your lover and can't...or they are unresponsive to your requests...it hurts and there is nothing you can do about it because they don't belong to you. The memories and good times...
    Dreamgirl75 Dreamgirl75 36-40, F 24 Responses Apr 10

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    What do you say to your future ex wife

    that she will never marry again that you have hurt her to the point that she will never open her heart up again to another man? How do you respond when your kids tell you they don't want you around for Christmas? That's what my kids told me today own the phone.
    tobad8 tobad8 41-45, M 6 Responses a week ago

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    Shocking Love Affair

    I must confess something here that I thought, I would never ever talk about in my life. But I have to admit, I had an affair. Yes I did, and now I have to live with it for the rest of my life. Here's my shocking story..... About two weeks ago, I cheated on my true love...I...
    JimMorrisonRocks JimMorrisonRocks 26-30, M 27 Responses Jun 25, 2012

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    We're spending another weekend together.

    We've been together every weekend for months now plus Wednesday nights. We usually have intensely passionate dates but she came over the other night and I kept working on my crafts while she lay on the bed reading. We were close in the same room, quiet, each doing our own thing...
    pcflvly pcflvly 46-50, M 1 Response 6 days ago

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    Happy thanksgiving! I was very hurt

    that he chose his family over me. I imagine them being so happy, and me being out in the cold, looking in their happiness. Anger. Hurt. Confusion. Through some EP's experiences I realize now that it is hard work to stay, to put your efforts into rebuilding something that your...
    HurtsEverywhere HurtsEverywhere 31-35, F 4 Responses 5 hrs ago

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    I have come full circle with my affair.

    .. This was the most beautiful yet unhealthiest relationship I have ever engaged in.... I trashed my self esteem, my morals and my heart for this relationship. I loved with every fiber in my body and every cell of my brain yet I was slowly reduced to a friend with no possibility...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 11 Responses Dec 17, 2013

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    An affair... The beginning: The best part.

    The getting to know each other, the can't get enough, the spark, the passion, the excitement, the fun, the romance, the constant communication, you won't fall in love The middle: Still passionate, still exciting, still fun, still communicating regularly, the romance is still...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 9 Responses Feb 22

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    To him. : I carry your heart By E.

    E. Cummings i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart)i am never without it(anywhere i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done by only me is your doing,my darling) i fear no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want no world(for beautiful you are my world...
    HurtsEverywhere HurtsEverywhere 31-35, F 3 days ago

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    I don't know if I believe in signs

    or not. Somewhere in the last year, I've lost faith in many things. In the last few months, I've lost faith in following my heart, the universe, and maybe all things romantic. Today I decided to go do some retail therapy. As the mall was extremely busy, I decided to brave it...
    Koalaclover Koalaclover 36-40, F 5 Responses 4 days ago

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    Put it all in perspective.

    Yes we cheat or have cheated. Yes we had sex with ppl other then our spouses. So what? If they did it to us would we feel like it was the end? I think most of us wouldn't because we understand that we do still love our spouses but that something is just missing and we are...
    lovinglife11 lovinglife11 31-35, F 7 Responses 5 days ago

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    My new MM is seeing another other woman.

    He was honest about it from the start. I had a choice to leave or stay. I decided to stay as I liked him. I thought that if he gives me what I need, I shouldn't be bothered that he's seeing someone else. It's not like I want to run away with someone and marry him lol He's...
    HappySecret HappySecret 36-40, F 11 Responses 10 hrs ago

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    Before I start, please know there's no hard

    feelings, I'm not holding a grudge. Just expressing my thoughts. I'm going to hugely regret this, because I know I have come to enjoy your kisses way too much, and thinking of your mouth makes me weak. But when you said leave hearts and minds outside, I realized that means I'm...
    midnightT31 midnightT31 31-35, F 9 Responses 6 days ago

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    Dear readers, It's been over three months

    and I think you deserve some follow up. So here goes... Last July I moved out of the house I'd designed and built for my family. I was celebrating my 31st anniversary the day I filled financial forms associated with our legal separation. It's been difficult, and I often feel...
    lifu0427 lifu0427 56-60, M 15 Responses 4 days ago

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    "How do you know for sure you loved him?

    " "Because it feels like someone died. You don't grieve lust."
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 11 Responses Mar 22

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    it was in my teens , my first affair with my

    classmate .nice n sweet but dint last long though left memories
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses 4 days ago

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    I saw her today, my AP.

    I knew she would probably have to run back to the store at some point this morning so I sat in the cafe, nursing my coffee, hoping and waiting. It paid off. I froze in fear at the sight of her when she walked in. I couldn't get up. I just watched her. It was probably a good...
    irishstone irishstone 41-45, M 3 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    Today, urged on by an EP friend,

    I deleted the Hotmail account that I had used exclusively, off and on, to correspond with my OW between 2006 and 2013. In there were the early love notes when we were exploring the possibility of crossing the line. I also kept some sad ones from the times that we were apart at...
    Wilbury Wilbury 41-45, M 19 Responses Jan 15

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    Dear Jonathan And Our Two Children.....i'm So Sorry.

    Tomorrow 01/13/13 is the1 year anniversary of my relationship with the man I'm having an affair with, the man I compromised my entire life for, the man I chose over my family when I got caught 6 months ago, and the man I currently live with today. And 1 year ago tomorrow I...
    Annie3321 Annie3321 26-30, F 86 Responses Jan 12, 2013

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    Update: Still going strong with my secret love.

    .. I still think about how wrong this is. Every minute, every text....every stolen kiss and every intense moment we share. If it's so wrong, why in the hell does it feel so right?? I asked my husband what would happen if I ever cheated on him... What would he think, what...
    Chelsea84 Chelsea84 26-30, F 21 Responses Feb 8

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    He Doesn'T Know

    But I'm getting ready to leave him. He doesn't know. The love of my life. The most beautiful man that should be mine. All the promises I made him. I will break. He won't leave me ever. He has no reason to. I can't compartmentaliZe. Im not a box. And he's my world. The playing...
    mysecretworld mysecretworld 36-40, F 16 Responses Nov 4, 2013

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    What a storm in a teacup affairs really ARE.

    .. All contained within the walls of our hearts and minds, never to see the light of day. Haunting in their hidden beauty and their memorable "one liners". Covered with innuendos and lies just to have that one more hug, one more look, one more talk, one more kiss, then one more...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 20 Responses Oct 13

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    Struggling Reconnecting With Husband After My Affair!

    I feel at rock bottom. So so low. I feel like I am in a bubble and can't connect with anyone. I am still missing my OM even after months have gone by. My feelings ran deep. I am frustrated that the relief I felt at ending the affair has been replaced by pining. I miss him. It's...
    Angeleyes789 Angeleyes789 46-50, F 24 Responses Nov 23, 2013

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    I'm married to a wonderful man

    and have two beautiful children but I have been having an affair with a MM for over a year. It's been a tremendous experience for me, both good and bad, and I don't know if I ever want it to end. Lots to talk about sometime but just saying hi to you all for now. I'm so glad I...
    Wikedangel Wikedangel 36-40, F 18 Responses Jan 4

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    Looks like my thinksgiving will be at

    McDonald's tommorow. By my self.
    tobad8 tobad8 41-45, M 6 Responses 1 day ago

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    My Husband's Best Freind

    I t was exactly 1 yr ago. I was so depressed and ready to give up on ever being happy. My husband at the time was being very emotionally and verbally abusive. I got an e-mail from my husband's best freind. He was wondering how we were doing, and needed to talk. He had just split...
    hotandcuddly hotandcuddly 51-55, F 46 Responses Sep 1, 2011

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    So it's been 3 weeks

    since I decided I was done. Really it was one lie....that was it for me. I have not tried to contact him. I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss him. But what do I really miss? I think I only miss who I wanted him to be and not who he was. I found some old emails from February. I...
    sallyanne44 sallyanne44 41-45, F 6 Responses 5 days ago

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    He can't give me what I want

    and he can't give me what I need. It's not his fault it's mine. It's not what he signed up for. I'm pretty sure of that. I can't even bring myself to tell him. I feel like an idiot for falling for him. Again, my fault not his. My issues. My pain to bear. I know I have to let go...
    lovinglife11 lovinglife11 31-35, F 11 Responses 4 days ago

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    I Could Help It

    It started about 4 months ago in the grocery store i caughgt a guy about 23 watching me it kind of creaped me out and excited me at the same time seeing that my husband isnt interested anymore.So i paid for my things and headed for my car. As i turned around that guy had folloed...
    imsweetenough imsweetenough 31-35, F 192 Responses Dec 30, 2011

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    When it ended for me 9 months ago,

    I didn't want to hear about Time being the healing factor, because time was just an inanimate word and the burning pain in my chest and soul could not be soothed. Time was a vacuum.. a void. Being in 2 relationships never made sense to me. It's some kind of "temporary...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 9 Responses Jan 10

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    It's officially over!

    I saw his true side and I finally was strong enough to end it. I am hurting but relieved at the same time. This has definitely been a learning experience for me. :( I know in time I will get stronger each and everyday. Thank you to all to my EP friends for your support and...
    Cheeks2014 Cheeks2014 36-40, F 27 Responses Jan 19

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    I don't know where we're at anymore.

    . We text almost everyday.. It's always me that initiates the first text ..always.. Does that mean I'm chasing him? Idk....
    Differentforever Differentforever 46-50, F 14 Responses 5 days ago

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    Maybe you're reading this

    because you are having an affair or had one already or maybe you are thinking about doing it. I can't give advice because I have no clue. All I know is I am recovering and it's been a long recovery. I think the most surprising aspect was the emotion that came with this...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 19 Responses Jan 4

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    4 months later and I am still trying to pick up

    the pieces from my fall. You had really done a number on me. I today still cant believe what I had done to cause this disaster but I'm not regretting it as much anymore. You wouldn't even give me closure to this situation. You just cut me out of your life like I have never...
    Linley242 Linley242 51-55, F 3 hrs ago

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    He text me last night

    and my heart jumped. I desperately wanted to respond but I didn't. He wanted to see me over the weekend but I didn't meet him. I love him so much and want to lie in his arms like I used to. But I can't. I know it's not a good situation for me. I can not take the guilt that comes...
    Australianladybug Australianladybug 31-35, F 17 Responses Mar 3

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    How do I keep going after hurting everone?

    My heart hurts everyday for the destruction I have cost. I just learned from a friend that the woman I cheated with husband has made her move out. So now I help destroy more familys. She has a young child and the father is keeping him. Man I feel good about my self. I wouldn't...
    tobad8 tobad8 41-45, M 5 Responses 5 days ago

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    After being busted and working through the

    first few weeks. Listening to sideways by citizen cope. It ain't easy For these thoughts to leave me There's no words to describe it And I'm telling you These feelings won't go away They've been knocking me sideways They've been knocking me out babe
    thecaptain2 thecaptain2 36-40, M 5 days ago

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    For those of you who told your spouse.

    .. do you feel better once it is out in the open? For those who got found out... will you rather not be? It's now over and I feel like I have gotten off with it scott free. Have to keep myself from telling H. Because he was the one I told everything to. Because I feel... guilt...
    HurtsEverywhere HurtsEverywhere 31-35, F 22 Responses a week ago

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    More Like, 'my Affair Had Me'

    my affair did have me - for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. it chewed me up, spit me out, and i have yet to recover. we were in love, and probably still are (i definitely am) but ultimately it was my choice to end it - i didnt want to end my marriage for various reasons and knew...
    IJustWantYouToKnowWhoIAm IJustWantYouToKnowWhoIAm 31-35, F 25 Responses Dec 26, 2011

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    I have never had an affair.

    But I have been with women who were having one with me.
    DonnaDomm DonnaDomm 26-30, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    It's been over for a year.

    The toughest year in my adult life. I believe like everyone, I have an innate emotional intelligence that will direct me to my personal bliss. The affair woke me up to passion, like nothing else has ever done before. I'm more empathic, less judgmental & more open minded than...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 15 Responses May 27

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    I have been in EP for a few months,

    read many stories here, particularly in this experience and other post about had an affair. Just amazed, how easily other shallow peoples tried to judged other person when they have read the experience. Some of us, didn't have plan to be the other woman. And some of MM are also...
    ssally123 ssally123 41-45, F 19 Responses Jan 4

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    I cant stand these holidays I have no family

    that wants me around them. My kids don't want me to see them for the holidays. I don't blame them for it my cheating has hurt them so much. My own family is so despaponded in me I can even look my mother in the face. I well be so glad when the holidays are over. Question to...
    tobad8 tobad8 41-45, M 5 Responses 4 days ago

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