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I Had An Affair

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 13,630 People

    My Husband's Best Freind

    I t was exactly 1 yr ago. I was so depressed and ready to give up on ever being happy. My husband at the time was being very emotionally and verbally abusive. I got an e-mail from my husband's best freind. He was wondering how we were doing, and needed to talk. He had just split...
    hotandcuddly hotandcuddly 51-55, F 45 Responses Sep 1, 2011

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    He text me last night

    and my heart jumped. I desperately wanted to respond but I didn't. He wanted to see me over the weekend but I didn't meet him. I love him so much and want to lie in his arms like I used to. But I can't. I know it's not a good situation for me. I can not take the guilt that comes...
    Australianladybug Australianladybug 31-35, F 17 Responses Mar 3

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    Update: Still going strong with my secret love.

    .. I still think about how wrong this is. Every minute, every text....every stolen kiss and every intense moment we share. If it's so wrong, why in the hell does it feel so right?? I asked my husband what would happen if I ever cheated on him... What would he think, what...
    Chelsea84 Chelsea84 26-30, F 18 Responses Feb 8

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    Two Lovers, One Night.

    I'm afraid this is going to make me sound slutty. That is not really the case, i have just had weak moments in my life. I’m going to leave a lot of the mundane details out of this story to make it more interesting. This did happen several years ago but by highlighting the...
    emstioy emstioy 46-50, F 67 Responses Jan 8, 2012

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    I have been in EP for a few months,

    read many stories here, particularly in this experience and other post about had an affair. Just amazed, how easily other shallow peoples tried to judged other person when they have read the experience. Some of us, didn't have plan to be the other woman. And some of MM are also...
    ssally123 ssally123 41-45, F 16 Responses Jan 4

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    After seeing my ap I just couldn't get this

    song out of my head! This is for u.............. Am I wrong for thinking out the box from where I stay? Am I wrong for saying that I choose another way? I ain't tryna do what everybody else doing Just cause everybody doing what they all do If one thing I know, I'll fall but I...
    8312changedmylife 8312changedmylife 46-50, M 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    I've decided going forward

    if someone comments negatively on an experience I share here, I'm going to immediately delete their comment and block them. My experiences are part of my past, they're factual and they've already occurred so unkind, judgmental remarks are a waste of time and unnecessary. I don't...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 8 Responses Mar 15

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    What if I call you just to say hello

    and know how you are? You may be scared and act asa jerk. That is why I don't do it.
    heartycure heartycure 36-40, F 2 hrs ago

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    You know it's sad when people think god is

    involved in there cheating. God is never in evil things and cheating is evil anyway you put it. God turns he's head to cheaters.
    Soevil9 Soevil9 51-55, M 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    I Could Help It

    It started about 4 months ago in the grocery store i caughgt a guy about 23 watching me it kind of creaped me out and excited me at the same time seeing that my husband isnt interested anymore.So i paid for my things and headed for my car. As i turned around that guy had folloed...
    imsweetenough imsweetenough 31-35, F 208 Responses Dec 30, 2011

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    Her spirit was so full of life

    and wild everyone wanted to be around her. They drank her in like water. And the very few that say they don't like 'the water' were only envious because they didn't carry the same magic
    ventingagain ventingagain 31-35, F 2 Responses 8 hrs ago

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    I try bringing my H close to me.

    .. Then I push him away... I think I might be purposely picking fights with him.. I'm driving him crazy.. Now after all this time..I finally have his attention.. I longed for it .. for "him" for so many months.. He is right in front of me waiting to give.. I reach for...
    Differentforever Differentforever 46-50, F 27 Responses 3 days ago

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    I had just turned 21

    and got a job at some taco bell :P my manager had just turned 35. She would always flirt with me but I never took it serious cause I thought she's just that type, she wants you to want her but never have her. One day we started talking about a kiss then I felt it got awkward so...
    toomuchchat toomuchchat 22-25, M 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    Well today is 1 week

    since I sent my "closure" email and I have not heard from MM and neither have I tried to contact him. This week has been a roller coaster...it's still the first thing I think of in the morning and last before I fall asleep, but the dreams are less and I have gotten more sleep...
    Suzanne1976 Suzanne1976 36-40, F 5 Responses 6 hrs ago

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    It's officially over!

    I saw his true side and I finally was strong enough to end it. I am hurting but relieved at the same time. This has definitely been a learning experience for me. :( I know in time I will get stronger each and everyday. Thank you to all to my EP friends for your support and...
    Cheeks2014 Cheeks2014 36-40, F 28 Responses Jan 19

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    I went to talk with a therapist yesterday.

    ..I told her my story..She advised me to wean myself from contact with him and try to reconnect with my H. She claims MM is confusing me about my marriage and I won't know what I want till he's out of the picture. I don't think I'm ready for all of this... I'm not ready for him...
    Differentforever Differentforever 46-50, F 12 Responses 18 hrs ago

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    Maybe you're reading this

    because you are having an affair or had one already or maybe you are thinking about doing it. I can't give advice because I have no clue. All I know is I am recovering and it's been a long recovery. I think the most surprising aspect was the emotion that came with this...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 18 Responses Jan 4

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    Dear Jonathan And Our Two Children.....i'm So Sorry.

    Tomorrow 01/13/13 is the1 year anniversary of my relationship with the man I'm having an affair with, the man I compromised my entire life for, the man I chose over my family when I got caught 6 months ago, and the man I currently live with today. And 1 year ago tomorrow I...
    Annie3321 Annie3321 26-30, F 86 Responses Jan 12, 2013

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    I have been married for 16 years

    and never thought of an affair. Two years ago I met someone at work who I felt some magnificent attraction to and I never could understand it. We spent much of this 2 years joking with each other and trying to find projects to work on together. The whole time I knew where this...
    surfandturf surfandturf 36-40, F 10 Responses 3 days ago

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    Shocking Love Affair

    I must confess something here that I thought, I would never ever talk about in my life. But I have to admit, I had an affair. Yes I did, and now I have to live with it for the rest of my life. Here's my shocking story..... About two weeks ago, I cheated on my true love...I...
    JimMorrisonRocks JimMorrisonRocks 26-30, M 26 Responses Jun 25, 2012

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    So after some thought

    and review of my own experience and others I have discovered the following. If you are involved in an affair there is something major missing from your marriage. We seem willing ( especially us women) to be used by our AP for their own satisfaction even at the expense of our...
    lovinglife11 lovinglife11 31-35, F 18 Responses Mar 27

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    Seeing each other Friday :) Him

    and his friend and me and mine (who all know everything) coming to my part of the country for some drinks and BBQ on the beach! Obviously will be all platonic but that's good, I'm seeing him next weekend for a cinema date anyway so this can be like the lead up ;) saying that, we...
    foreverWantingMore foreverWantingMore 31-35, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    "How do you know for sure you loved him?

    " "Because it feels like someone died. You don't grieve lust."
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 11 Responses Mar 22

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    This is not an easy mission.

    If you are weak reconsider. If you are men.. could be easier for you.. if you are women.. oh well... you really do need a manual, "before and after the candle light period" Lesson No 1. : LOVE YOURSELF Hey sexy lady, I like your flow. Your body's bangin, out of...
    SwanLake78 SwanLake78 36-40, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    More Like, 'my Affair Had Me'

    my affair did have me - for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. it chewed me up, spit me out, and i have yet to recover. we were in love, and probably still are (i definitely am) but ultimately it was my choice to end it - i didnt want to end my marriage for various reasons and knew...
    IJustWantYouToKnowWhoIAm IJustWantYouToKnowWhoIAm 31-35, F 25 Responses Dec 26, 2011

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    Today, urged on by an EP friend,

    I deleted the Hotmail account that I had used exclusively, off and on, to correspond with my OW between 2006 and 2013. In there were the early love notes when we were exploring the possibility of crossing the line. I also kept some sad ones from the times that we were apart at...
    Wilbury Wilbury 41-45, M 17 Responses Jan 15

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    When it ended for me 9 months ago,

    I didn't want to hear about Time being the healing factor, because time was just an inanimate word and the burning pain in my chest and soul could not be soothed. Time was a vacuum.. a void. Being in 2 relationships never made sense to me. It's some kind of "temporary...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 10 Responses Jan 10

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    Love Should...

    Make you smile, not cry. Bring you comfort, not pain. Ease your mind, not cause restless nights. Fill your heart, not break it. Answer questions, not cause doubts. Brighten your world, not cast shadows on your days. Lift your spirits, not weigh down your soul...
    Urbancowgirl Urbancowgirl 36-40 6 Responses Nov 23, 2013

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    An affair... The beginning: The best part.

    The getting to know each other, the can't get enough, the spark, the passion, the excitement, the fun, the romance, the constant communication, you won't fall in love The middle: Still passionate, still exciting, still fun, still communicating regularly, the romance is still...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 9 Responses Feb 22

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    heartycure heartycure 36-40, F 3 hrs ago

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    I had an emotional affair with someone

    who was once just a friend. I have been married less than a year. My husband found out when he went through my phone and saw some text messages between me and this other guy. I have never felt more horrible. I betrayed the love of my life and put my marriage in jeopardy. I...
    soon2bnurse soon2bnurse 22-25, F 7 Responses 3 days ago

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    I am married with kids,

    he is also married with kids. Going on since last November. I'm addicted to him and our trysts. I tried to end it on numerous occasions because I know it is morally wrong. Obviously that didn't last. I love what we have and love him too. It will never happen between us...
    SexyMomma37 SexyMomma37 36-40, F 16 Responses Mar 13

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    It's the same old saying,

    they want you to do good until your doing better than them. I am not sorry your husband loved me. I am not sorry your husband had sex with me. I am not sorry we had an affair. I am not sorry he was willing to leave your marriage over it. I am not sorry for saying that you have a...
    ventingagain ventingagain 31-35, F 10 Responses 1 day ago

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    No way you call me if it is not

    for something you need to know about my case? C'mon!!! You have my skype, i enjoy talking to you. I think you don't care in the way i do. Though i think you can still feel a bit tiny thibg for me. I miss to hear your voice. I was on the clouds that two weeks that we talked...
    heartycure heartycure 36-40, F 1 day ago

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    You know what's funny is

    that when you stand up to cheaters you consider a bible basher. Will I do believe in god very much. but there's more to it what about just plan honesty and morals has this world got to the point that the are things not worth fighting for. Has it got to the point that this is...
    Soevil10 Soevil10 31-35, M 7 Responses 2 days ago

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    I have come full circle with my affair.

    .. This was the most beautiful yet unhealthiest relationship I have ever engaged in.... I trashed my self esteem, my morals and my heart for this relationship. I loved with every fiber in my body and every cell of my brain yet I was slowly reduced to a friend with no possibility...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 11 Responses Dec 17, 2013

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    I never have to see her again now.

    .now its time to really move on, now its time to stop obsessing, stop checking if shes been online, stop wishing and hoping she cared more. I just hope I've cried my last tear over her..
    LionCaged LionCaged 26-30, M 13 Responses 2 days ago

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    Ok question : how many of you met someone off

    of pof ? Nerveous? What happened when u first saw them and if you thought they were not cute etc, but looked cute in their pics ? Or if you liked then was there chemistry ? I'm meeting someone for the first time off there, he looks cute in his pics but some pics he aver me...
    js1276 js1276 36-40, F 5 Responses 5 days ago

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    I was married to a man

    for 20 years. We met when I was 16, got married when I was 22, and went on to have 3 kids. The only problem was he drank and over the years, his personality changed to the point of abuse. It was not physical abuse but verbal. He did things like swear at me, punch holes in the...
    leslie0718 leslie0718 41-45, F 12 Responses Feb 4

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    I'm new here and someone please couch me how to

    forget someone? Yesterday was my day 1 and already (sort of) failed, I woke up in the middle of the night having a panic attack, and reached out to my phone and unblock my MM phone and started to text him. I said I had a nightmare. Of course, he didn't answer, it was 4 am. This...
    Ruby2ng Ruby2ng 36-40, F 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    I've found a great song

    for the ending of an affair. I can't believe I hadn't heard it before. Leaving New York by REM. I think it is about being in a relationship and coming to the realisation that the best is behind you and that if one of you doesn't leave now, the other one eventually will and...
    lilsecret1 lilsecret1 36-40, F 5 Responses 3 days ago

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    I know he fakes at home.

    It doesn't matter if he is in love with me or if I do good or do wrong, he will always go back to her. Why? Well.. the wife wins! Common sense. He thinks, he can always fall back on her. It doesn't matter if she cheats... if she can hardly bear him or doesn't feel...
    Fmina Fmina 51-55, F 4 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    I hope... ...Every day

    when you wake up, you miss the good morning texts and calls we shared. ...Every night you think about how we would say " goodnight love bug." ...When you see a woman with auburn hair, you think about how you loved to wrap my curls around your fingers when we kissed. ...You...
    Urbancowgirl Urbancowgirl 36-40 10 Responses Dec 16, 2013

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    It's been over for a year.

    The toughest year in my adult life. I believe like everyone, I have an innate emotional intelligence that will direct me to my personal bliss. The affair woke me up to passion, like nothing else has ever done before. I'm more empathic, less judgmental & more open minded than...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 14 Responses May 27

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    It wasn't so much an affair

    as it was a ******* or 5. During one my husband walked up to the car and caught me. I thought I was in so much trouble. Within two days my husband was begging me to **** the other guy and let him watch.
    greenmountainmomma greenmountainmomma 31-35, F 18 Responses Jan 30

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    Is it weird that I think the reason I am ok

    with him leaving is because deep down I have the biggest feeling he's gonna come back? It's been a long time no contact but in the back of my head I keep saying he'll be back. Is that wishful thinking? Is that not letting go? Is that coping? I just feel he's going to sooner or...
    Circlesnomore Circlesnomore 31-35, F 1 Response 50 mins ago

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    I'm married to a wonderful man

    and have two beautiful children but I have been having an affair with a MM for over a year. It's been a tremendous experience for me, both good and bad, and I don't know if I ever want it to end. Lots to talk about sometime but just saying hi to you all for now. I'm so glad I...
    Wikedangel Wikedangel 36-40, F 19 Responses Jan 4

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    He Doesn'T Know

    But I'm getting ready to leave him. He doesn't know. The love of my life. The most beautiful man that should be mine. All the promises I made him. I will break. He won't leave me ever. He has no reason to. I can't compartmentaliZe. Im not a box. And he's my world. The playing...
    mysecretworld mysecretworld 36-40, F 15 Responses Nov 4, 2013

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    You know what really grinds my gears?

    When I'm asked about him and I say "it's over, we don't talk anymore" and I get the response, "it's probably better off" or "it's probably for the best." Or better yet they insult him. Um, not ok. That's my job if I feel like it, you don't even know him. "Well, if he would...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 11 Responses 2 days ago

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    Why am I having an affair?

    All marriages go thru lows.. Yes.. mine hit rock bottom. He was out of work and drunk everyday... He was miserable.. He had no desire for sex.. I lost my friend.. I thought I tried to reach him.. But did I try hard enough? Then "he" comes in my life... Right when I...
    Differentforever Differentforever 46-50, F 10 Responses 5 days ago

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    My MM once again said he loves me,

    and this time around he added that he is not having sex with his wife, in fact I'm the only woman he is intimate with.. And he used the words, he is not "cheating" on me!! It really sounds completely weird and unbelievable ... A man Not cheating on his mistress with his own wife...
    zoey3000 zoey3000 31-35, F 9 Responses 11 hrs ago

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    My Last Letter, That You'Ll Never Get...

    Like a spark to gasoline, your subtle negativity, actions and words concerning your discontent with him lit a fire of hope for me over the past few months - that you would be free for us to be together one day... until yesterday that is. Your words - "yes, I am for sure getting...
    engx74 engx74 36-40, M 10 Responses Sep 8, 2013

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    Soevil10 Soevil10 31-35, M 6 Responses 2 days ago

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