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I Had An Affair

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 14,555 People

    with a married man that ended tragically.

    I was left devastated, hurt, confused and an empty shell of a woman. All that I ever wanted in life was to be successful at any and everything I touched. I have a great career, loving family and a few close friends. I thought my life was content but needed a loving partner to...
    Hunniebae Hunniebae 26-30, F 11 Responses Apr 1

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    Feeling really good today.

    . Spent time with a the new MM man again yesterday..He's so into me, I love it! I will never ever waist my time again on a man that's not!
    Differentforever Differentforever 46-50, F 20 Responses Jan 23

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    Dear Jonathan And Our Two Children.....i'm So Sorry.

    Tomorrow 01/13/13 is the1 year anniversary of my relationship with the man I'm having an affair with, the man I compromised my entire life for, the man I chose over my family when I got caught 6 months ago, and the man I currently live with today. And 1 year ago tomorrow I...
    Annie3321 Annie3321 26-30, F 85 Responses Jan 12, 2013

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    Two Lovers, One Night.

    I'm afraid this is going to make me sound slutty. That is not really the case, i have just had weak moments in my life. I’m going to leave a lot of the mundane details out of this story to make it more interesting. This did happen several years ago but by highlighting the...
    emstioy emstioy 46-50, F 67 Responses Jan 8, 2012

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    I so quickly received reassurance

    that I could share here it made me feel safe! So thank you guys! The guy who I am involved with is married for 3 years now and has never had an affair before me. He said he has been close but never followed through. He is a ballroom dance instructor professionally and is a HUGE...
    kmudge kmudge 22-25, F 2 Responses 14 hrs ago

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    Ok . He is walking on very thin ice with me now.

    I'm giving him til the end of July to see me. We are trying to figure out a day to meet. I told him to pick a day. He said no because the last 2 times he let me down . Each day I picked he said if he didn't have to work over. Haven't seen each other in little over a month. It...
    js1276 js1276 41-45, F 6 Responses 6 days ago

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    Dear Wife, Your husband has been cheating on

    you for 10 years with all different women, he never engaged in relationships, just sex. Until he met me. The first time it happened, I felt bad, but not really, it was only going to be that once. Of course, though, it didn't stay that way. After then we got to know each...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 10 Responses Feb 13

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    I hope... ...Every day

    when you wake up, you miss the good morning texts and calls we shared. ...Every night you think about how we would say " goodnight love bug." ...When you see a woman with auburn hair, you think about how you loved to wrap my curls around your fingers when we kissed. ...You...
    Urbancowgirl Urbancowgirl 36-40 12 Responses Dec 16, 2013

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    After two years of random calls

    and texts from xmm, we finally met. It was friendly and sweet and had a touch of the surreal to it. I wasn't meeting him to rekindle anything, nor was he. I'm certainly not interested in anything like that after all I've been through to recover my own sanity and peace...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 15 Responses May 28

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    So yesterday I had a cookout at my house

    and my AP came over. This was the first time he'd met my mom and my sisters family so I was really nervous. They have known about him but had never met him before. And...they all loved him! It worked out great.
    TruckersWife1984 TruckersWife1984 31-35, F 1 day ago

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    There are a lot of us

    that are in sexless marriages for a variety of reasons. My husband is on the road most of the time so I have had to find companionship outside of my marriage. My AP is not perfect and I'm not in love with him but he fills a need. I wouldn't recommend everyone having an affair...
    TruckersWife1984 TruckersWife1984 31-35, F 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    My Husband's Best Freind

    I t was exactly 1 yr ago. I was so depressed and ready to give up on ever being happy. My husband at the time was being very emotionally and verbally abusive. I got an e-mail from my husband's best freind. He was wondering how we were doing, and needed to talk. He had just split...
    hotandcuddly hotandcuddly 51-55, F 43 Responses Sep 1, 2011

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    More Like, 'my Affair Had Me'

    my affair did have me - for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. it chewed me up, spit me out, and i have yet to recover. we were in love, and probably still are (i definitely am) but ultimately it was my choice to end it - i didnt want to end my marriage for various reasons and knew...
    IJustWantYouToKnowWhoIAm IJustWantYouToKnowWhoIAm 31-35, F 23 Responses Dec 26, 2011

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    Dear Haters: I would like to give you an

    insight of a person that is currently involved in having an affair and giving this insight might give you a different opinion of us...might not agree with our actions but never judge someone before you know the entire story....so here it goes... We are human...we are daughters...
    excessbaggage excessbaggage 41-45, F 37 Responses Sep 16, 2014

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    Does anyone has good resources

    for forgiveness? I am having a hard time forgiving....
    HurtsEverywhere HurtsEverywhere 31-35, F 4 Responses a week ago

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    How do you settle for the ordinary,

    the very good, very solid, very loving ordinary? All that it lacks is the passion that my affair had at its peak. I don't think I will ever get that feeling back. I don't want the affair back. I don't want the affair woman back. There were a lot more bads than goods about it...
    Wilbury Wilbury 46-50, M 4 Responses 19 hrs ago

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    I hate him! I hate what I allowed him to do to

    me!! I hate that I was so stupid for so long. I hate that I can't tell him so!! I ended it already. I refuse to contact him. It will only boost his ego more that I am so angry and upset with him. It's not worth it plus I don't want to risk him wanting to have me back!! I hope he...
    lovinglife11 lovinglife11 31-35, F 9 Responses 4 days ago

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    Maybe you're reading this

    because you are having an affair or had one already or maybe you are thinking about doing it. I can't give advice because I have no clue. All I know is I am recovering and it's been a long recovery. I think the most surprising aspect was the emotion that came with this...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 20 Responses Jan 4, 2014

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    It's been over for a year.

    The toughest year in my adult life. I believe like everyone, I have an innate emotional intelligence that will direct me to my personal bliss. The affair woke me up to passion, like nothing else has ever done before. I'm more empathic, less judgmental & more open minded than...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 13 Responses May 27, 2014

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    So after some thought

    and review of my own experience and others I have discovered the following. If you are involved in an affair there is something major missing from your marriage. We seem willing ( especially us women) to be used by our AP for their own satisfaction even at the expense of our...
    lovinglife11 lovinglife11 31-35, F 16 Responses Mar 27, 2014

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    I survived 9... everyday.

    .like clockwork he texted me..I ended it June 9th..coping.. confused.. ashamed.. sad..let down...but relieved that now I can get past this toxic pain...he told me he loved me and was more "real" with me than with any other person... I felt that way...never would I ever get...
    Bancy918 Bancy918 51-55 5 Responses a week ago

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    Do you ever wish you could meet done of the

    friends you have made on here.....the ones who know everything about you but never judge you? We can't have these conversations with our friends (or many of them. I think we all have at least one that we trust enough to tell) ....they might judge/spill our secrets. But out...
    sallyanne44 sallyanne44 46-50, F 17 Responses Jul 30, 2014

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    I asked myself today,

    what did I learn from all this? The lesson for me is *Stay the heck away from a married man!* Until now, I kept convincing myself that he was separated when I met him.. his wife had a kid from another guy... she was a B and a User and a cheater.. yada yada yada. Time to fess...
    Fmina Fmina 51-55, F 40 Responses Feb 10

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    Affair With Son In Law, Now Pregnant

    I have searched all over the web for this situation and I have yet to find anything that remotely correlates.  I lost my job a few months ago and I moved in my eldest daughter and family.  I will admit right here and now that I have always had a crush on...
    littlejon63 littlejon63 46-50 352 Responses Mar 24, 2009

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    Just ended my affair

    and I'm sad. She was careless with her phone and her husband found out, she spilled everything. Mixed feelings. A bit relieved but also sad, I loved her. The sex...ha...no one complains that affair sex is worse than married sex. My wife doesn't know.
    joestu84 joestu84 41-45, M 4 Responses 6 days ago

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    After two weeks of non-contact,

    and what I thought was the 3rd and final break-up, he's back again. Why do they do this? What does he want from me? This emotional roller coaster is so tiring, but I don't seem to have the strength to ignore him.
    cosoulsearcher cosoulsearcher 41-45, F 10 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    It was a year ago today

    that you found out. I will remember that day forever, you were so mad, I have never seen you that mad. I still could see the love for me behind those sad eyes when you told me to leave. That was the hardest thing you have ever had to do. You told everybody we knew. The anxiety...
    DannysSong DannysSong 36-40, F 1 Response Jun 25

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    you know I just woke up missing Bill.

    . then instead of glamorizing him..I started remembering all the times he didn't show up..or jumped out of my bed to scurry to Walmart because caught called and wanted something... I have to believe there are available men that are good lovers..how in the hell did we as lonely...
    Bancy918 Bancy918 51-55 3 Responses 6 days ago

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    why do people like to call the ap women home

    wrecker??!! Come on... So sad to hear people say that.. It's ignorant, judge mental and so much more...truth is... If the home wasn't off to begin with the affair wouldn't have happened. It takes two people to make an affair work. So if anyone is a home wrecker it's the dam...
    ventingagain ventingagain 31-35, F 29 Responses Nov 19, 2014

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    I had sex with a man that's not my husband

    tonight. that's a first for me. I should be feeling guilty right now, but a little happiness goes a long way. I'm not going to leave my husband and he's not going to leave his wife, we just wanted the physical attention.
    redpelican7 redpelican7 31-35, F 18 Responses Jun 27

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    I am a father of 2 boys.

    I've been married over a decade. I am a professional with a career, home and financial security. I have loving parents, loving dog and good friends. I am able to enjoy my sports teams and hit the gym 5 days a week. I am also an addict. As nat king cole sang, some call it...
    MyThermopylae MyThermopylae 41-45, M 16 Responses Nov 3, 2014

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    I'm married to a wonderful man

    and have two beautiful children but I have been having an affair with a MM for over a year. It's been a tremendous experience for me, both good and bad, and I don't know if I ever want it to end. Lots to talk about sometime but just saying hi to you all for now. I'm so glad I...
    Wikedangel Wikedangel 36-40, F 17 Responses Jan 4, 2014

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    I'm not sure if this is the right category

    but I am not the one having the affair. I am involved with a married man and I'm starting to like him a lot. I need somewhere to share my experiences.
    kmudge kmudge 22-25, F 8 Responses 14 hrs ago

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    The heat of summer seems to bring the memories

    of her out more often. It was long ago and there's no doubt in my mind she doesn't miss me like I do her. I miss the magic, the feelings, the infatuation, the closeness, smiles, laughter, the connection. She was my greatest mistake. For my punishment I assume I will forever...
    idleheart idleheart 31-35, M 9 Responses 5 days ago

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    In a dilemma... Too email

    or not to email him how I feel or wait it out ....
    js1276 js1276 41-45, F 4 Responses 5 days ago

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    I Could Help It

    It started about 4 months ago in the grocery store i caughgt a guy about 23 watching me it kind of creaped me out and excited me at the same time seeing that my husband isnt interested anymore.So i paid for my things and headed for my car. As i turned around that guy had folloed...
    imsweetenough imsweetenough 31-35, F 182 Responses Dec 30, 2011

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    I just woke up and the good news is bill was

    only a fleeting thought.. it's true about the time thing..in the past I always got this anxious feeling when I felt like I was drifting apart from him..I would then be extra vigilant about sending sexy pics..keeping his interest.. his only interest.. it's not much fun to admit...
    Bancy918 Bancy918 51-55 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    Those of you who had an affair

    and experienced a D-day with your spouse... what does it feel like? I'm curious.... sorry if the question sounded weird. I just want to be more prepared if my affair came to light. (unlikely since it is over but I'll never know for sure that it won't happen)
    HurtsEverywhere HurtsEverywhere 31-35, F 5 Responses a week ago

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    well it's the day after,

    I was wondering if the new guy would still be interested in continuing wherever it is we have or if it was a one time thing. he's not gone outside of his marriage before either. we messaged like usual today, just light conversation with flirtation. nice to see it didn't change
    redpelican7 redpelican7 31-35, F 4 Responses Jun 28

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    I have come full circle with my affair.

    .. This was the most beautiful yet unhealthiest relationship I have ever engaged in.... I trashed my self esteem, my morals and my heart for this relationship. I loved with every fiber in my body and every cell of my brain yet I was slowly reduced to a friend with no possibility...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 9 Responses Dec 17, 2013

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    It was an okay day, I saw my ex at work,

    we took a break together and i was pretty up beat, i am trying so hard to put on a straight face, i didn't get sad today. I have to believe that i can overcome anything, i will get over him. Closure helps and acceptance that it's over and it's for the best.
    Ccutler Ccutler 36-40, F 2 Responses Jun 26

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    An affair... The beginning: The best part.

    The getting to know each other, the can't get enough, the spark, the passion, the excitement, the fun, the romance, the constant communication, you won't fall in love The middle: Still passionate, still exciting, still fun, still communicating regularly, the romance is still...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 15 Responses Feb 22, 2014

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    Today, urged on by an EP friend,

    I deleted the Hotmail account that I had used exclusively, off and on, to correspond with my OW between 2006 and 2013. In there were the early love notes when we were exploring the possibility of crossing the line. I also kept some sad ones from the times that we were apart at...
    Wilbury Wilbury 46-50, M 18 Responses Jan 15, 2014

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    I'm an affair success story.

    In a short period of time, my life took a direction that I never thought possible. I never saw it coming, did things I never thought I was ever capable of, and struggled through some turmoil...but it took my life in a direction that was best for me. This is quite long, as I'm...
    happyasever happyasever 31-35, F 7 Responses Nov 23, 2014

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    holidays used to be hard.

    .knowing he was with his family.. friends cooking for everyone but me...I miss him and his birthday is July 14.. I would be planning a special day for him...I'm cooking and having friends over and looking forward to the day when I no longer think of him ...
    Bancy918 Bancy918 51-55 1 Response 2 days ago

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    Folks here like songs

    that speak them... Try Dirks Bentley's "I Hold On".
    Blindtoit Blindtoit 46-50, M 1 Response 3 days ago

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