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I Had An Affair

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 13,768 People

    Man. Today is hard. Really hard.

    Just laying in bed wishing I never started the affair, wishing we never got caught, wishing I could just walk away from her, and wishing she was here with me. I realize it's going to get worse before it gets better, but when do I turn the corner and start climbing my way out...
    confusedinpa7 confusedinpa7 36-40, M 5 Responses 1 day ago

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    Missing my mm a lot today.

    Last year this time, we were together in the hotel and it was the most memorable love making I have experienced in my life. Wish the best of him and I know he's missing me as well. At least I hope so. I want to text him so bad but I just can't and don't want to be hurt. I love...
    sunsetocean sunsetocean 31-35, F 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    You got to love cheater

    that think they can give advice.
    Soevil11 Soevil11 51-55, M 3 Responses 4 days ago

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    I started my affair 6 months ago.

    Almost 6 months to the day. We are both married. She has two small kids, I have none. I've known her for 4 years and have had a crush on her since the beginning. I knew my marriage was a shambles (no intimacy or love) and had an affair 5 years previous to this one. I fell...
    confusedinpa7 confusedinpa7 36-40, M 5 Responses 3 days ago

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    I've decided going forward

    if someone comments negatively on an experience I share here, I'm going to immediately delete their comment and block them. My experiences are part of my past, they're factual and they've already occurred so unkind, judgmental remarks are a waste of time and unnecessary. I don't...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 8 Responses Mar 15

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    I was married to a man

    for 20 years. We met when I was 16, got married when I was 22, and went on to have 3 kids. The only problem was he drank and over the years, his personality changed to the point of abuse. It was not physical abuse but verbal. He did things like swear at me, punch holes in the...
    leslie0718 leslie0718 41-45, F 12 Responses Feb 4

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    As we all travel this road,

    and for those of us struggling to end, cope, move forward, I have come here and found some amazing ep friends. Here's to all of my ep friends. May we all have a fabulous weekend, with smiles, laughter and sweet moments. It gets easier, one baby step at a time.
    pencruz pencruz 46-50, F 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    My Husband's Best Freind

    I t was exactly 1 yr ago. I was so depressed and ready to give up on ever being happy. My husband at the time was being very emotionally and verbally abusive. I got an e-mail from my husband's best freind. He was wondering how we were doing, and needed to talk. He had just split...
    hotandcuddly hotandcuddly 51-55, F 46 Responses Sep 1, 2011

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    An affair... The beginning: The best part.

    The getting to know each other, the can't get enough, the spark, the passion, the excitement, the fun, the romance, the constant communication, you won't fall in love The middle: Still passionate, still exciting, still fun, still communicating regularly, the romance is still...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 9 Responses Feb 22

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    For those of you in a long term affair,

    have you ever ended it without an explanation? Perhaps the writing was on the wall or you just had enough?
    pencruz pencruz 46-50, F 7 Responses 19 hrs ago

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    More Like, 'my Affair Had Me'

    my affair did have me - for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. it chewed me up, spit me out, and i have yet to recover. we were in love, and probably still are (i definitely am) but ultimately it was my choice to end it - i didnt want to end my marriage for various reasons and knew...
    IJustWantYouToKnowWhoIAm IJustWantYouToKnowWhoIAm 31-35, F 25 Responses Dec 26, 2011

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    Maybe you're reading this

    because you are having an affair or had one already or maybe you are thinking about doing it. I can't give advice because I have no clue. All I know is I am recovering and it's been a long recovery. I think the most surprising aspect was the emotion that came with this...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 18 Responses Jan 4

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    "How do you know for sure you loved him?

    " "Because it feels like someone died. You don't grieve lust."
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 11 Responses Mar 22

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    It's been over for a year.

    The toughest year in my adult life. I believe like everyone, I have an innate emotional intelligence that will direct me to my personal bliss. The affair woke me up to passion, like nothing else has ever done before. I'm more empathic, less judgmental & more open minded than...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 15 Responses May 27

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    I have come full circle with my affair.

    .. This was the most beautiful yet unhealthiest relationship I have ever engaged in.... I trashed my self esteem, my morals and my heart for this relationship. I loved with every fiber in my body and every cell of my brain yet I was slowly reduced to a friend with no possibility...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 11 Responses Dec 17, 2013

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    Do you ever wish you could meet done of the

    friends you have made on here.....the ones who know everything about you but never judge you? We can't have these conversations with our friends (or many of them. I think we all have at least one that we trust enough to tell) ....they might judge/spill our secrets. But out...
    sallyanne44 sallyanne44 41-45, F 19 Responses Jul 30

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    I am having a hard time letting go

    and feel tormented. For me, it is one of the worse feelings in the world when you want to talk to your lover and can't...or they are unresponsive to your requests...it hurts and there is nothing you can do about it because they don't belong to you. The memories and good times...
    Dreamgirl75 Dreamgirl75 36-40, F 22 Responses Apr 10

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    I wanted to write some of my thoughts

    and feelings this morning... Then I realized.. Today I have none..
    Differentforever Differentforever 46-50, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    When it ended for me 9 months ago,

    I didn't want to hear about Time being the healing factor, because time was just an inanimate word and the burning pain in my chest and soul could not be soothed. Time was a vacuum.. a void. Being in 2 relationships never made sense to me. It's some kind of "temporary...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 10 Responses Jan 10

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    Baddog7 Baddog7 46-50, M 2 days ago

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    She still creeps into my mind on occasion,

    but at least not every day. Not every waking minute like she used to. I struggle to remember her phone number. It used to be burned into my memory. We used to talk about her kids. I struggle to remember their names. There was a time when it hurt when there was no...
    Blueeyedboy70i Blueeyedboy70i 41-45, M 9 Responses 3 days ago

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    Is it better to have had

    and affair and the spouse not know of your doings and living with the guilt if there is any.... or be a spouse and you your spouse informs you he has has made love to another women? If I had no DDay would I have ever shared? No because why inflict pain on him when he's...
    ventingagain ventingagain 31-35, F 3 Responses 4 days ago

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    So after some thought

    and review of my own experience and others I have discovered the following. If you are involved in an affair there is something major missing from your marriage. We seem willing ( especially us women) to be used by our AP for their own satisfaction even at the expense of our...
    lovinglife11 lovinglife11 31-35, F 19 Responses Mar 27

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    Two Lovers, One Night.

    I'm afraid this is going to make me sound slutty. That is not really the case, i have just had weak moments in my life. I’m going to leave a lot of the mundane details out of this story to make it more interesting. This did happen several years ago but by highlighting the...
    emstioy emstioy 46-50, F 66 Responses Jan 8, 2012

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    So today was a really good day.

    I have a story to share... Ok my friend was getting her hair done and there were other women there. Anyways my friend over hears this girl talking about her friend in a negative way kinda about the things she's doing now that she's single and my friends just listening, in and...
    ventingagain ventingagain 31-35, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    Update: Still going strong with my secret love.

    .. I still think about how wrong this is. Every minute, every text....every stolen kiss and every intense moment we share. If it's so wrong, why in the hell does it feel so right?? I asked my husband what would happen if I ever cheated on him... What would he think, what...
    Chelsea84 Chelsea84 26-30, F 19 Responses Feb 8

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    OK EP friends, what I want to know is how is

    your life after the affair? I feel stuck. I feel like I cannot move forward with my wife. There is a huge void in our relationship and I'm not sure I want to work on fixing it. Have any of you made it work with your spouse? Did you leave? Where are you at after the affair?
    Blueeyedboy70i Blueeyedboy70i 41-45, M 7 Responses 1 day ago

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    I am married with kids,

    he is also married with kids. Going on since last November. I'm addicted to him and our trysts. I tried to end it on numerous occasions because I know it is morally wrong. Obviously that didn't last. I love what we have and love him too. It will never happen between us...
    SexyMomma37 SexyMomma37 36-40, F 16 Responses Mar 13

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    I Could Help It

    It started about 4 months ago in the grocery store i caughgt a guy about 23 watching me it kind of creaped me out and excited me at the same time seeing that my husband isnt interested anymore.So i paid for my things and headed for my car. As i turned around that guy had folloed...
    imsweetenough imsweetenough 31-35, F 205 Responses Dec 30, 2011

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    zoey3000 zoey3000 31-35, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    I'm married to a wonderful man

    and have two beautiful children but I have been having an affair with a MM for over a year. It's been a tremendous experience for me, both good and bad, and I don't know if I ever want it to end. Lots to talk about sometime but just saying hi to you all for now. I'm so glad I...
    Wikedangel Wikedangel 36-40, F 18 Responses Jan 4

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    He text me last night

    and my heart jumped. I desperately wanted to respond but I didn't. He wanted to see me over the weekend but I didn't meet him. I love him so much and want to lie in his arms like I used to. But I can't. I know it's not a good situation for me. I can not take the guilt that comes...
    Australianladybug Australianladybug 31-35, F 17 Responses Mar 3

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    Its been one year today.

    .. One year ago I crossed the line and entered an affair.. It's not my first rodeo.. Or his.. In the beginning I remember saying to My MM..We do this for 3 months..then we end it... Lol One year ago... I had my head on straight... I had control of myself. I knew who I...
    Differentforever Differentforever 46-50, F 14 Responses 3 days ago

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    It's officially over!

    I saw his true side and I finally was strong enough to end it. I am hurting but relieved at the same time. This has definitely been a learning experience for me. :( I know in time I will get stronger each and everyday. Thank you to all to my EP friends for your support and...
    Cheeks2014 Cheeks2014 36-40, F 28 Responses Jan 19

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    Heading out in the morning

    for a 4 day weekend to meet some friends at the beach, it's an annual thing we do, even more important now that the friends have moved away! It will be different not having MM to text with the whole trip, especially the drive there and back. I am sure I will still think of him...
    Suzanne1976 Suzanne1976 36-40, F 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    Regretfulme Regretfulme 31-35, F 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    Does the DDay anniversary recreate pain?

    My husband really only had one but even then I don't think he remembered the date. I don't either to be honest. I remember the date my ex told his wife last September that we were sleeping together but my husband never really had a date. My exs ex wife called my husband and told...
    ventingagain ventingagain 31-35, F 3 Responses 4 days ago

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    I was wondering how long it would be

    before I got the nasty responses that ive seen plague other posts...so today I did. I find it strange that my entire purpose for using this is so that I dont contact mm any more, so that I can reach for this instead of reach out to him because im trying to make my marriage work...
    vuexter vuexter 36-40, F 9 Responses 4 days ago

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    Today, urged on by an EP friend,

    I deleted the Hotmail account that I had used exclusively, off and on, to correspond with my OW between 2006 and 2013. In there were the early love notes when we were exploring the possibility of crossing the line. I also kept some sad ones from the times that we were apart at...
    Wilbury Wilbury 41-45, M 17 Responses Jan 15

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    I am left wondering tonight ,

    why do we get the urge to text them when there's been NC for months? Is it because they are thinking of us too? Kind of like when they pop into your head for no apparent reason? I know it sounds nuts but just think about it. Have you ever been thinking of someone and suddenly...
    lovinglife11 lovinglife11 31-35, F 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    I have been in EP for a few months,

    read many stories here, particularly in this experience and other post about had an affair. Just amazed, how easily other shallow peoples tried to judged other person when they have read the experience. Some of us, didn't have plan to be the other woman. And some of MM are also...
    ssally123 ssally123 41-45, F 17 Responses Jan 4

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    It wasn't so much an affair

    as it was a ******* or 5. During one my husband walked up to the car and caught me. I thought I was in so much trouble. Within two days my husband was begging me to **** the other guy and let him watch.
    greenmountainmomma greenmountainmomma 31-35, F 18 Responses Jan 30

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    I am on a roll with questions tonight.

    ..So men and women both. What do you invest in the most? The emotional aspect or the physical aspect? What would you say your partner invested in?
    manyregrets manyregrets 36-40, F 14 Responses 3 days ago

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    Shocking Love Affair

    I must confess something here that I thought, I would never ever talk about in my life. But I have to admit, I had an affair. Yes I did, and now I have to live with it for the rest of my life. Here's my shocking story..... About two weeks ago, I cheated on my true love...I...
    JimMorrisonRocks JimMorrisonRocks 26-30, M 26 Responses Jun 25, 2012

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    Affair With Son In Law, Now Pregnant

    I have searched all over the web for this situation and I have yet to find anything that remotely correlates.  I lost my job a few months ago and I moved in my eldest daughter and family.  I will admit right here and now that I have always had a crush on...
    littlejon63 littlejon63 46-50 352 Responses Mar 24, 2009

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    A few friends and I went out

    for a meal 3 years ago. One of the guys Steve is a very hard drinker - he drinks practically every day to the point of being drunk. His whole life revolves around this - I guess he is an alcoholic in denial. His long suffering wife is a good person and does not deserve the grief...
    andyp3136 andyp3136 51-55 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    :&/!/'skdjsbnssksnsbsjsidjdndndxvnkkdkdb
    Baddog7 Baddog7 46-50, M 3 days ago

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    I either eat too much

    or starve myself. Sleep for 14 hrs or have insomniac nights. Fall in love very hard or hate passionately. I don't really know what grey is, I thought I did but I guess I never did! That grey moment I lived in wasn't really grey. We were living for passion and excitement. We...
    ventingagain ventingagain 31-35, F 4 Responses 4 days ago

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    My friend just sent me this.

    .. As my song to HIS ex... Hahahahah hahahha Yes I'm juvenile some times;) I'm only human and it's funny... Big meanie big weenie http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x20s7e_big-weenie-eminem_music
    ventingagain ventingagain 31-35, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    Well it has been a couple of days

    and still no contact with H. He has talked to our children and has just told them he is working. I am taking advantage of the space and hope he is doing the same. I once read somewhere that Wisdom is knowing when to let go and move on and Courage is having the strength to fight...
    manyregrets manyregrets 36-40, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    My affair showed me I have a side of me

    that is manipulative and selfish. I used to listen to this song over and over so loud. I love this song http://youtu.be/u3u22OYqFGo It was exactly how I felt and when I indulged info to his wife it was for revenge on him not her pain. Affairs make you aware of a human inside...
    ventingagain ventingagain 31-35, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    I met her a year ago today.

    I didn't notice her wedding ring at first but soon found that she never took it off, even when she took everything else off. She told her husband about us two weeks after we first made love. He knew something was up because she was happy again and she hadn't been happy in a...
    pcflvly pcflvly 46-50, M 21 hrs ago

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    You have to love cowards

    that comment on your post then block you. Don't they know all you have to do is delete there comments.
    Soevil11 Soevil11 51-55, M 2 Responses 4 days ago

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