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I Had An Affair

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 13,722 People

    nothappybutstaying nothappybutstaying 31-35, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    It was a huge mistake!

    I shouldn't have done it. I don't know why I did it. But honestly I kinda liked it....I'm a horrible person!
    Ravenheart1995 Ravenheart1995 18-21, F 7 Responses 2 days ago

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    So after some thought

    and review of my own experience and others I have discovered the following. If you are involved in an affair there is something major missing from your marriage. We seem willing ( especially us women) to be used by our AP for their own satisfaction even at the expense of our...
    lovinglife11 lovinglife11 31-35, F 19 Responses Mar 27

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    It wasn't so much an affair

    as it was a ******* or 5. During one my husband walked up to the car and caught me. I thought I was in so much trouble. Within two days my husband was begging me to **** the other guy and let him watch.
    greenmountainmomma greenmountainmomma 31-35, F 18 Responses Jan 30

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    I am having a hard time letting go

    and feel tormented. For me, it is one of the worse feelings in the world when you want to talk to your lover and can't...or they are unresponsive to your requests...it hurts and there is nothing you can do about it because they don't belong to you. The memories and good times...
    Dreamgirl75 Dreamgirl75 36-40, F 22 Responses Apr 10

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    He Doesn'T Know

    But I'm getting ready to leave him. He doesn't know. The love of my life. The most beautiful man that should be mine. All the promises I made him. I will break. He won't leave me ever. He has no reason to. I can't compartmentaliZe. Im not a box. And he's my world. The playing...
    mysecretworld mysecretworld 36-40, F 16 Responses Nov 4, 2013

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    So after three days of not hearing from him I

    was losing my mind all I kept thinking about should i msg and say something like what?!?! Anyways so I texted after three days he seemed normal made me feel good hearing from him..I think he going ok with his wife I think he thinking he has a good thing and he doesn't wanna fk...
    sunshineab sunshineab 22-25, F 5 Responses 4 days ago

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    I think I did. I'm not

    even sure if I am still am! May through to August of being together but not officially, although it ended 7 weeks ago yet we met up twice since then. It's not a proper affair like the others I read of on here. I'm almost jealous in a way you lot get more than I do. I don't get...
    foreverWantingMore foreverWantingMore 31-35, F 1 Response 22 hrs ago

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    My affair began due to a long distance

    relationship. I had been dating my boyfriend for 2 years prior to moving 6,000 miles away for a job. The job was only supposed to be for one year, but ended up getting extended to 2 years. At the end of the first year, I felt like things were deteriorating in my relationship...
    Sabrina89 Sabrina89 22-25, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    "How do you know for sure you loved him?

    " "Because it feels like someone died. You don't grieve lust."
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 11 Responses Mar 22

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    I've decided going forward

    if someone comments negatively on an experience I share here, I'm going to immediately delete their comment and block them. My experiences are part of my past, they're factual and they've already occurred so unkind, judgmental remarks are a waste of time and unnecessary. I don't...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 8 Responses Mar 15

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    Well. Actually. No I didn't.

    Would really like to, though. But not so easy as I am plug ugly :)
    englishchap englishchap 46-50, M 1 Response 3 hrs ago

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    Fmina Fmina 51-55, F 1 Response 12 hrs ago

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    An affair... The beginning: The best part.

    The getting to know each other, the can't get enough, the spark, the passion, the excitement, the fun, the romance, the constant communication, you won't fall in love The middle: Still passionate, still exciting, still fun, still communicating regularly, the romance is still...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 9 Responses Feb 22

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    Crossroad? If your at a crossroad you see the

    roads you can take.. You pick what direction you want your life to go and you take that road... But I can't seem to make it because I'm stuck going in a circle and I can't get out of it. Crossroads.. I'm turning my back I don't want to see the paths.. So round and round...
    Differentforever Differentforever 46-50, F 7 Responses 4 days ago

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    I decided to post this on MM's last confession

    to me that brought me to tears on our day. He said, Fmina... my heart is so hurting, I do not think I will live beyond 5 years. It's sad that I am fighting him off like this, but it is not my doing to hurt him. It is the situation we are in.
    Fmina Fmina 51-55, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    Maybe you're reading this

    because you are having an affair or had one already or maybe you are thinking about doing it. I can't give advice because I have no clue. All I know is I am recovering and it's been a long recovery. I think the most surprising aspect was the emotion that came with this...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 18 Responses Jan 4

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    I am finally seeing the fog lift.

    I am still consumed by thoughts of this, but life and me are slowly emerging. I have found this has taken my precious time away from MY life. Now it is time to refocus and yet I know my heart is having a hard time letting go. When do you, if ever, have a day go by without...
    pencruz pencruz 46-50, F 2 Responses 3 hrs ago

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    You got to find it funny all the people crying

    over the cheating partner is so bad way do they hurt me like this way way way. Will guess what your cheating is just as bad as them. Your not innocent I it. It's cheating now one gets away free.
    pleasestoplying pleasestoplying 51-55, M 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    I think this resonates with many of us here.

    A love unfulfilled is still a love, but it is also destined to never reach its full potential.
    pencruz pencruz 46-50, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    My Last Letter, That You'Ll Never Get...

    Like a spark to gasoline, your subtle negativity, actions and words concerning your discontent with him lit a fire of hope for me over the past few months - that you would be free for us to be together one day... until yesterday that is. Your words - "yes, I am for sure getting...
    engx74 engx74 36-40, M 10 Responses Sep 8, 2013

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    He text me last night

    and my heart jumped. I desperately wanted to respond but I didn't. He wanted to see me over the weekend but I didn't meet him. I love him so much and want to lie in his arms like I used to. But I can't. I know it's not a good situation for me. I can not take the guilt that comes...
    Australianladybug Australianladybug 31-35, F 17 Responses Mar 3

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    I have come full circle with my affair.

    .. This was the most beautiful yet unhealthiest relationship I have ever engaged in.... I trashed my self esteem, my morals and my heart for this relationship. I loved with every fiber in my body and every cell of my brain yet I was slowly reduced to a friend with no possibility...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 11 Responses Dec 17, 2013

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    I used / am using the same strategy to cope

    with the end of my affair as I do when walking in the hills: When faced with a large hill, for either recreational walking or work, I set off at a pace I know I can maintain. I watch my feet, and keep the pace of my footsteps the same, no matter how steep. When it's steep I take...
    junkfan junkfan 56-60, M 7 Responses 2 days ago

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    My Husband's Best Freind

    I t was exactly 1 yr ago. I was so depressed and ready to give up on ever being happy. My husband at the time was being very emotionally and verbally abusive. I got an e-mail from my husband's best freind. He was wondering how we were doing, and needed to talk. He had just split...
    hotandcuddly hotandcuddly 51-55, F 46 Responses Sep 1, 2011

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    Rereading a friend's experience (Junkfan) about

    how difficult it is to move on. I really identify with your difficulty. I have moments of anger, hate, sadness..... you name it, I've felt it... There's an emotional barrier to leave this story behind. Because I loved the way he made me feel about myself. Because the way he...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 9 Responses 3 days ago

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    More Like, 'my Affair Had Me'

    my affair did have me - for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. it chewed me up, spit me out, and i have yet to recover. we were in love, and probably still are (i definitely am) but ultimately it was my choice to end it - i didnt want to end my marriage for various reasons and knew...
    IJustWantYouToKnowWhoIAm IJustWantYouToKnowWhoIAm 31-35, F 25 Responses Dec 26, 2011

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    I'm married to a wonderful man

    and have two beautiful children but I have been having an affair with a MM for over a year. It's been a tremendous experience for me, both good and bad, and I don't know if I ever want it to end. Lots to talk about sometime but just saying hi to you all for now. I'm so glad I...
    Wikedangel Wikedangel 36-40, F 18 Responses Jan 4

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    I took part in a affair with a guy

    who has made it clear that's All I am I have made the huge steps to move forward from this man and today I go into his place of work he makes himself very visible and needy for my attention what do you do ? I am over him plus the situation why is he trying to get my attention...
    teal10 teal10 26-30, F 4 Responses 2 days ago

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    It's officially over!

    I saw his true side and I finally was strong enough to end it. I am hurting but relieved at the same time. This has definitely been a learning experience for me. :( I know in time I will get stronger each and everyday. Thank you to all to my EP friends for your support and...
    Cheeks2014 Cheeks2014 36-40, F 28 Responses Jan 19

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    Today, urged on by an EP friend,

    I deleted the Hotmail account that I had used exclusively, off and on, to correspond with my OW between 2006 and 2013. In there were the early love notes when we were exploring the possibility of crossing the line. I also kept some sad ones from the times that we were apart at...
    Wilbury Wilbury 41-45, M 17 Responses Jan 15

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    A lot of times since my affair I don't want to

    be around anyone. I was very selective of my company to begin with. During the affair I only wanted to be around him but now no one . No one knows mentally what I have been through. People want to speak of irrelevant things, stupid things, superficial things about their...
    ventingagain ventingagain 31-35, F 11 Responses 21 hrs ago

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    Update: Still going strong with my secret love.

    .. I still think about how wrong this is. Every minute, every text....every stolen kiss and every intense moment we share. If it's so wrong, why in the hell does it feel so right?? I asked my husband what would happen if I ever cheated on him... What would he think, what...
    Chelsea84 Chelsea84 26-30, F 18 Responses Feb 8

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    It's amazing how much power we give the other

    person to have on us, I have been feeling like an idiot for the last three days why coz he hasn't been contacting me so yesterday I was like that's it it's over can't do this anymore this is not a life I don't need these emotions to control my reality the way I act with family...
    sunshineab sunshineab 22-25, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    When it ended for me 9 months ago,

    I didn't want to hear about Time being the healing factor, because time was just an inanimate word and the burning pain in my chest and soul could not be soothed. Time was a vacuum.. a void. Being in 2 relationships never made sense to me. It's some kind of "temporary...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 10 Responses Jan 10

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    Affair With Son In Law, Now Pregnant

    I have searched all over the web for this situation and I have yet to find anything that remotely correlates.  I lost my job a few months ago and I moved in my eldest daughter and family.  I will admit right here and now that I have always had a crush on...
    littlejon63 littlejon63 46-50 352 Responses Mar 24, 2009

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    I hope... ...Every day

    when you wake up, you miss the good morning texts and calls we shared. ...Every night you think about how we would say " goodnight love bug." ...When you see a woman with auburn hair, you think about how you loved to wrap my curls around your fingers when we kissed. ...You...
    Urbancowgirl Urbancowgirl 36-40 10 Responses Dec 16, 2013

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    Shocking Love Affair

    I must confess something here that I thought, I would never ever talk about in my life. But I have to admit, I had an affair. Yes I did, and now I have to live with it for the rest of my life. Here's my shocking story..... About two weeks ago, I cheated on my true love...I...
    JimMorrisonRocks JimMorrisonRocks 26-30, M 26 Responses Jun 25, 2012

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    To those who are having an affair,

    thinking about it, or to those who did...4 years i had an affair, he ended it all in a pretty messed up way...he doesnt want me he doesnt love me like i do him and he isnt thinking about me now...I lost who i think is the love of my life...my husband has no trust for me, hes...
    TornLove82 TornLove82 31-35, F 4 Responses 22 hrs ago

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    Full of adrenaline right now!

    That overwhelming feeling, smiling far too much and tingling from actual adrenaline running throughout my body! Not from affair excitement-I don't understand that, it's not exiting because of that- I'm just excited to see the man that makes me feel alive!!
    foreverWantingMore foreverWantingMore 31-35, F 31 Responses Jun 18

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    I'm waiting for a text,

    90% he will say he can't meet me tomorrow, 10 % he will say we can meet. I have never been so scared of my phone blinking. If only he knew 10% of my sorrow, my longing, my heartache. If only my phone breaks down now.
    myheart99 myheart99 36-40, F 5 Responses 13 hrs ago

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    It looks like a lot of you'll have got caught.

    I'm sorry for the pain your family's going throw. And I hope that things work out for your family. I hope the pain of trying to fix you cheating doesn't get the best of you. Time is going to get real hard but if your truly sorry for what you have done then hold strong.
    pleasestoplying pleasestoplying 51-55, M 1 Response 21 hrs ago

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    If you are still having an affair,

    stop. It's not worth it. I am now feeling like **** for hurting my family . Especially my kids. Somehow my family found out including my in laws . I have not said a word to anyone . So someone must have saw me out somewhere at the time. I am now under " watch". Trying to...
    js1276 js1276 36-40, F 5 Responses 2 days ago

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    Do you believe this??

    ?? If two past lovers can remain friends after the relationship they were never truly in love or they still are. Makes sense
    ventingagain ventingagain 31-35, F 7 Responses 16 hrs ago

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    This all started because of some stupid songs

    and me trying to overcome the emotions that come with them aah!! I was walking up the hill (junk fan)but I think right now this very minute I completely stopped walking and I am thinking of how tired my feet are and how thirsty I am and how dam long I've been walking. And I...
    ventingagain ventingagain 31-35, F 5 Responses 20 hrs ago

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    I am posting this in it's entirety.

    It is from "MyRedBike" a blog I admire and follow. It is titled "Unfulfilled Love" Theirs was a story as old as time itself. Two souls meant to exist together for eternity but destined to always be apart. Fate, that most evil of witches, decided they should meet but had to...
    pencruz pencruz 46-50, F 4 Responses 3 days ago

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    Do you ever wish you could meet done of the

    friends you have made on here.....the ones who know everything about you but never judge you? We can't have these conversations with our friends (or many of them. I think we all have at least one that we trust enough to tell) ....they might judge/spill our secrets. But out...
    sallyanne44 sallyanne44 41-45, F 15 Responses Jul 30

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    I was married to a man

    for 20 years. We met when I was 16, got married when I was 22, and went on to have 3 kids. The only problem was he drank and over the years, his personality changed to the point of abuse. It was not physical abuse but verbal. He did things like swear at me, punch holes in the...
    leslie0718 leslie0718 41-45, F 12 Responses Feb 4

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    I realized something with the help of my

    therapist. My affair saved my marriage. My H was depressed and drunk everyday... My marriage was at a low.. He came in my life when I needed him.. I always thought he came into life when I was Vulnerable.. I thought I was at a crossroad in my life.. I was looking down...
    Differentforever Differentforever 46-50, F 6 Responses 2 hrs ago

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    Today I am feeling like an idiot

    for deactivating my FB account. I know I can reactivate and block him, but why do I care if he sees me in mutual friends posts and pics? I shouldn't care, if he doesn't want to see it, he doesn't have to look or could unfriend them or block me....right? I say that and then I...
    Suzanne1976 Suzanne1976 36-40, F 7 Responses 2 days ago

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    Two Lovers, One Night.

    I'm afraid this is going to make me sound slutty. That is not really the case, i have just had weak moments in my life. I’m going to leave a lot of the mundane details out of this story to make it more interesting. This did happen several years ago but by highlighting the...
    emstioy emstioy 46-50, F 66 Responses Jan 8, 2012

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    Isn't it weird to think

    that in this crazy world we live in love can be a passing item. The ones we fall in love with does not guarantee a loving from them forever. Nobody won in my case. He is the hardest thing I have ever had to get over. And I think it's because the way it happened. It was like...
    ventingagain ventingagain 31-35, F 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    I have been in EP for a few months,

    read many stories here, particularly in this experience and other post about had an affair. Just amazed, how easily other shallow peoples tried to judged other person when they have read the experience. Some of us, didn't have plan to be the other woman. And some of MM are also...
    ssally123 ssally123 41-45, F 17 Responses Jan 4

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