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I Had An Affair

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 14,672 People

    I'm hurt, sad , numb ,

    lost, confused. I ended a 2 yr affair 3 days ago. I am married and my Ap is single. I love him, am in love with him. However our relationship for the most part was TOXIC & UGLY. Omg the constant arguing his lack of respect, his controlling behavior, he hated that I was married, I...
    IWhoAmI IWhoAmI 31-35, F 13 Responses a week ago

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    We had met and got instantly lost in a riveting

    conversation at an evening function. Looking around after a while, we noted the place had emptied. Standing alone, we were the last two people to leave. Time had stood still. We giggled and parted politely, promising to chat again soon. A month or so later, I saw you at a...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 14 Responses May 6

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    Okay, folks, an unusual situation here.

    About a year ago I started an affair with a married man, who, like myself, longed for intimacy (not just sexual). Our marriages do not afford that and we both experience broken communication with unavailable spouses. We ended up clicking in a beautiful way, physically as well...
    Cestmoi2019 Cestmoi2019 36-40, F 9 Responses 5 days ago

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    Have you ever met someone

    so special that he made you question all of the decisions you've made in your life up until then? Someone you're so comfortable with and who knows you and your body better than you thought anyone could? Even yourself. Someone you loved so much that you spent the better part...
    Rosybottomz Rosybottomz 36-40, F 2 Responses 5 hrs ago

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    So I'm learning a new reality from EP.

    Getting the perspective from some of you here, especially the opposite sex really hits you like a brick. It's much needed and I thank you, no matter how painful the truth really is.
    seashaker seashaker 46-50, F 5 Responses Aug 26

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    I'm about to end my 1 year relationship with my

    mm. Have not seen each other for 4 months. Confronted him about it and all I get is the same answers " I'm sorry ". I can't see you this week. I'm working late again and working the weekend again cause I have to finish my protect ". " I'm just so tired sweety". " I don't...
    js1276 js1276 41-45, F 11 Responses 5 days ago

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    Dear Jonathan And Our Two Children.....i'm So Sorry.

    Tomorrow 01/13/13 is the1 year anniversary of my relationship with the man I'm having an affair with, the man I compromised my entire life for, the man I chose over my family when I got caught 6 months ago, and the man I currently live with today. And 1 year ago tomorrow I...
    Annie3321 Annie3321 26-30, F 84 Responses Jan 12, 2013

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    And I loved my AP. I still do love him.

    Just because you love someone, doesn't mean you have to be together. I hate when people pressure me. I love how I feel when I am going with the flow and living in the moment. Free to love and free to live. The times I have spent with my MM have been amazing. The biggest...
    AnnUrban AnnUrban 26-30, F 5 Responses 1 day ago

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    I'm married to a wonderful man

    and have two beautiful children but I have been having an affair with a MM for over a year. It's been a tremendous experience for me, both good and bad, and I don't know if I ever want it to end. Lots to talk about sometime but just saying hi to you all for now. I'm so glad I...
    Wikedangel Wikedangel 36-40, F 16 Responses Jan 4, 2014

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    I'm an affair success story.

    In a short period of time, my life took a direction that I never thought possible. I never saw it coming, did things I never thought I was ever capable of, and struggled through some turmoil...but it took my life in a direction that was best for me. This is quite long, as I'm...
    happyasever happyasever 31-35, F 7 Responses Nov 23, 2014

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    Feeling really good today.

    . Spent time with a the new MM man again yesterday..He's so into me, I love it! I will never ever waist my time again on a man that's not!
    Differentforever Differentforever 46-50, F 18 Responses Jan 23

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    So after some thought

    and review of my own experience and others I have discovered the following. If you are involved in an affair there is something major missing from your marriage. We seem willing ( especially us women) to be used by our AP for their own satisfaction even at the expense of our...
    Freedomnow01 Freedomnow01 31-35, F 16 Responses Mar 27, 2014

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    The nature of forbidden love is uncertainties.

    I hated that. I hated that feeling of there is no tomorrow. Any promises are just fake and empty. I hated that. I cannot say about others' affairs. But mine was a mirage, an escape, a fantasy, but in realty, in retrospect, it was a lie. I was lying to myself to believe that he...
    MorningRose10 MorningRose10 31-35, F 9 Responses Aug 23

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    I have come full circle with my affair.

    .. This was the most beautiful yet unhealthiest relationship I have ever engaged in.... I trashed my self esteem, my morals and my heart for this relationship. I loved with every fiber in my body and every cell of my brain yet I was slowly reduced to a friend with no possibility...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 8 Responses Dec 17, 2013

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    I hope... ...Every day

    when you wake up, you miss the good morning texts and calls we shared. ...Every night you think about how we would say " goodnight love bug." ...When you see a woman with auburn hair, you think about how you loved to wrap my curls around your fingers when we kissed. ...You...
    Urbancowgirl Urbancowgirl 36-40 12 Responses Dec 16, 2013

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    My AP apparently has a new girlfriend.

    I found out from a mutual friend. I talk to him a few times a week and he acts like nothing has changed. He's screwing with my head again.
    KandyFoxx KandyFoxx 31-35, F 3 Responses Aug 26

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    Two Lovers, One Night.

    I'm afraid this is going to make me sound slutty. That is not really the case, i have just had weak moments in my life. I’m going to leave a lot of the mundane details out of this story to make it more interesting. This did happen several years ago but by highlighting the...
    emstioy emstioy 46-50, F 67 Responses Jan 8, 2012

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    What a storm in a teacup affairs really ARE.

    .. All contained within the walls of our hearts and minds, never to see the light of day. Haunting in their hidden beauty and their memorable "one liners". Covered with innuendos and lies just to have that one more hug, one more look, one more talk, one more kiss, then one more...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 21 Responses Oct 13, 2014

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    It was just sex. That is what the plan was

    anyway. We are both married, and yes, I know it's awful of us to seek comfort in each other, but we did. The first time we met for sex I was so nervous that I accidently locked my keys in my car. He had to call AAA to come open it for me. That sucked, but we still managed to...
    klady23 klady23 26-30, F 25 Responses Feb 23

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    For some reason I really want to talk to my ex

    AP today. I want to make sure he's ok and I remember how much I liked talking to him. I know it would do more harm then good though. It would give him an idea that there was a chance for us to get back together but there's not. I ended it because I didn't want to be with him and...
    wantingtobehappy84 wantingtobehappy84 26-30, F 7 Responses 23 hrs ago

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    I asked myself today,

    what did I learn from all this? The lesson for me is *Stay the heck away from a married man!* Until now, I kept convincing myself that he was separated when I met him.. his wife had a kid from another guy... she was a B and a User and a cheater.. yada yada yada. Time to fess...
    Fmina Fmina 51-55, F 40 Responses Feb 10

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    I am drowning in an ocean inside,

    but I have to fake a smile to everyone on the outside. My ex ap just proposed to his girlfriend, and I am crushed...mainly because our relationship just ended recently, and he doesn't seem fazed by it at all. How can he be in the mindset for engagement after what just happened...
    broken418 broken418 22-25, F 17 Responses Aug 24

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    I finally have my weekly therapy appointment in

    a couple of hours. If you read my last story, you know how much I need this meeting this week. I'm barely hanging on, and he's falling in love. I'm so tired and sad. I feel sick and old. I wish I could hibernate this winter. I hate my life right now.
    Rosybottomz Rosybottomz 36-40, F 6 Responses 2 days ago

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    with a married man that ended tragically.

    I was left devastated, hurt, confused and an empty shell of a woman. All that I ever wanted in life was to be successful at any and everything I touched. I have a great career, loving family and a few close friends. I thought my life was content but needed a loving partner to...
    Hunniebae Hunniebae 26-30, F 11 Responses Apr 1

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    After two years of random calls

    and texts from xmm, we finally met. It was friendly and sweet and had a touch of the surreal to it. I wasn't meeting him to rekindle anything, nor was he. I'm certainly not interested in anything like that after all I've been through to recover my own sanity and peace...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 13 Responses May 28

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    So I read that a sexless marriage makes one look

    for every possible pit in town. Shape, age, compatibility does not matter in wanting to find affection or the rush of release. Once found. The validation, the probe, the examining from all angles and the natural connection, he turns his back. Returns to his cave of duties...
    Fmina Fmina 51-55, F 4 Responses Aug 23

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    "And the dilemmas of love

    and desire, they don't yield just simple answers of black and white and good and bad, and victim and perpetrator. Betrayal in a relationship comes in many forms. There are many ways that we betray our partner: with contempt, with neglect, with indifference, with violence. Sexual...
    AnnUrban AnnUrban 26-30, F 2 Responses Aug 21

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    I was curious if my MM still had sex with his

    wife. Especially, after he started texting me provocative texts on what he wanted to do to me and before then, when we met and I had to put up a fight although he had promised to be 'good'. And a few other befores. I was working on the friends, admittedly continuing to have...
    Fmina Fmina 51-55, F 16 Responses Aug 25

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    I know it's been awhile

    since I've updated and I apologize for how long this is. I just need to get it all out. Telling the whole story seems like the best way to explain how I'm feeling today. As most suspected, once I decided to meet ex AP that Friday night awhile back, I was immediately back...
    Rosybottomz Rosybottomz 36-40, F 6 Responses 3 days ago

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    The morning dawn removes the hidden of the

    night's dark. An affair that goes no-where is an illusion that the Other Person, the MM, the AP lives. Ours is the disappointment to see the coward on day light... {Continuing the sentence, I wanted to say ... the coward who cannot make love into reality, but that opens a...
    Fmina Fmina 51-55, F 2 Responses Aug 23

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    An affair... The beginning: The best part.

    The getting to know each other, the can't get enough, the spark, the passion, the excitement, the fun, the romance, the constant communication, you won't fall in love The middle: Still passionate, still exciting, still fun, still communicating regularly, the romance is still...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 14 Responses Feb 22, 2014

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    I dont get why people

    who are having an affair are turned on by the thrill of being caught,I ended mine coz hiding too much from alot of people made me realize that theres too much prize to pay to maintain it and once or twice a week of fun is not worth the stress and paranoia
    charmedangel1978 charmedangel1978 31-35, F 5 Responses Aug 21

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    Today, urged on by an EP friend,

    I deleted the Hotmail account that I had used exclusively, off and on, to correspond with my OW between 2006 and 2013. In there were the early love notes when we were exploring the possibility of crossing the line. I also kept some sad ones from the times that we were apart at...
    Wilbury Wilbury 46-50, M 17 Responses Jan 15, 2014

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    Waking up next to my husband,

    but still feeling so alone. First thought in my head is my Ap of course. I go to bed with him on my mind, I wake up with him on my mind. I turn and look at my husband as he's sleeping and the guilt I feel for what I have done. He never deserved what I've done. I don't think he...
    IWhoAmI IWhoAmI 31-35, F 31 Responses 4 days ago

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    I am a father of 2 boys.

    I've been married over a decade. I am a professional with a career, home and financial security. I have loving parents, loving dog and good friends. I am able to enjoy my sports teams and hit the gym 5 days a week. I am also an addict. As nat king cole sang, some call it...
    MyThermopylae MyThermopylae 41-45, M 15 Responses Nov 3, 2014

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    “The one thing I know

    for sure is that feelings are rarely mutual, so when they are, drop everything, forget belongings and expectations, forget the games, the two days between texts, the hard to gets because this is it, this is what the entire world is after and you’ve stumbled upon it by chance...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 8 Responses 3 days ago

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    Hi, I'm looking for some help from the guys in

    this group. I didn't have an affair, I was cheated on. I left and I'm dating again. I want to know what makes you cheat, aside from a waning sec life?
    paliglass paliglass 31-35, F 7 Responses 6 days ago

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    I signed up on Ashley Madison

    for less than 24 hours and now my email is out there. My husband doesn't pay attention to the news so I doubt he will take the time to search. I never even talked to anyone on there. I was just looking.
    KandyFoxx KandyFoxx 31-35, F 5 Responses Aug 21

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    feeling a little heartbroken today.

    that ******* ashleymadison leak... his wife found out.. after 5 months, looks like I'll be starting some involuntary no contact time. you don't realize how much you'll miss a person til they're gone
    redpelican7 redpelican7 31-35, F 7 Responses Aug 21

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    Affair With Son In Law, Now Pregnant

    I have searched all over the web for this situation and I have yet to find anything that remotely correlates.  I lost my job a few months ago and I moved in my eldest daughter and family.  I will admit right here and now that I have always had a crush on...
    littlejon63 littlejon63 46-50 351 Responses Mar 24, 2009

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    There are numerous older men in the world

    who are single and seeking someone special in their life. For all such men, AgeMeet.com has been created as a reliable online platform to find women for dating and companionship. The spokesperson reports that many older men have started finding perfect companions through their...
    kimcc11 kimcc11 26-30, F 2 days ago

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    so ..I as everyone else just saw the Ashley

    Madison on news...my mm is on there... I'm sorry.. I laughed so hard.. all those lies!!! what kind of an idiot am I? thank god at least I can say I've owned my part in this and that is now between him and his wife...she will fund out...she saw it in his email.. he gave her...
    Bancy918 Bancy918 51-55 3 Responses Aug 21

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    My Husband's Best Freind

    I t was exactly 1 yr ago. I was so depressed and ready to give up on ever being happy. My husband at the time was being very emotionally and verbally abusive. I got an e-mail from my husband's best freind. He was wondering how we were doing, and needed to talk. He had just split...
    hotandcuddly hotandcuddly 51-55, F 43 Responses Sep 1, 2011

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    Maybe you're reading this

    because you are having an affair or had one already or maybe you are thinking about doing it. I can't give advice because I have no clue. All I know is I am recovering and it's been a long recovery. I think the most surprising aspect was the emotion that came with this...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 18 Responses Jan 4, 2014

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    Do you ever wish you could meet done of the

    friends you have made on here.....the ones who know everything about you but never judge you? We can't have these conversations with our friends (or many of them. I think we all have at least one that we trust enough to tell) ....they might judge/spill our secrets. But out...
    sallyanne44 sallyanne44 46-50, F 16 Responses Jul 30, 2014

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    He's a drunk. He woke up at 8pm thinking it

    was morning. He showered and got dressed for work. I watched the entire freak show.. So sad. I need to get out of this marriage. It's toxic. He's crazy one minute then loving the next. It's insane. Having the affair was an escape... I'm a coward. I took the...
    Differentforever Differentforever 46-50, F 34 Responses