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I Had An Affair

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 14,274 People

    Maybe you're reading this

    because you are having an affair or had one already or maybe you are thinking about doing it. I can't give advice because I have no clue. All I know is I am recovering and it's been a long recovery. I think the most surprising aspect was the emotion that came with this...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 21 Responses Jan 4, 2014

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    I can't stop listening to Kelly Clarkson's

    "Already Gone." I remember last year.. exactly in January.. I wrote you a goodbye letter. After you ignored me cause you were out with "her".. after I drunk text you, called you names.. had a terrible hang over and slept for 2 days straight. I would always remember that feeling...
    myheart99 myheart99 36-40, F 10 Responses 5 days ago

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    Knowing the idea of NC I shouldn't

    even be friends with him on Facebook, but I am. Obviously his wife is too and constantly tags him in posts (regarding the kids) but I couldn't help my curiosity. .. I looked. I found comments from her talking about how good he is to her and how loving...yet....all the time...
    lexabear15 lexabear15 26-30, F 9 Responses Jan 22

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    There's a show on HBO called The Affair

    that I feel like I can totally relate to. The events might not be exactly the same, but I feel like my affair was pretty close. I guess it shows me that my affair wasn't special, which is a good thing. You know when you're wondering is this real, why can't I stop, why is this...
    wantingtobehappy84 wantingtobehappy84 22-25, F 8 Responses 5 days ago

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    One week ago he sent

    that text practically begging for it to be over. He got what he wanted.. From Lovers to strangers.. In one day. He didn't even send a Merry Christmas text. Yes, I really thought he would.. I'm so foolish for thinking he cared.. 7 days NC.. It's the longest ever in 16...
    Differentforever Differentforever 46-50, F 20 Responses Dec 27, 2014

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    So after some thought

    and review of my own experience and others I have discovered the following. If you are involved in an affair there is something major missing from your marriage. We seem willing ( especially us women) to be used by our AP for their own satisfaction even at the expense of our...
    lovinglife11 lovinglife11 31-35, F 19 Responses Mar 27, 2014

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    "A conscience never burdened you No empathy to

    slow you down Others were there for you to use Like hapless ships you ran aground How can you sleep? The world burns at your feet How can you forsake The casualties you leave in your wake? You lied like other people breathe Speaking a twisted lexicon To get your way by any...
    broken418 broken418 22-25, F a week ago

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    Ok this is a silly question

    but aside from the obvious (im looking for a deeper meaning) why would you blow a girl a kiss if when she's leaving and she just waved bye. And this isn't something you've done before but you two do have history together?
    tc57 tc57 31-35, F 5 Responses 5 days ago

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    H and I decided to divorce.

    I wonder how much of that decision is based on H finding out about my affair. He will never forgive me, even after months of therapy, its easier for him to play victim then also face the issues of the marriage. And thats ok, i know what i did was not good, but it is the risk i...
    findingpeace6 findingpeace6 26-30, F 5 Responses Jan 24

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    I am a father of 2 boys.

    I've been married over a decade. I am a professional with a career, home and financial security. I have loving parents, loving dog and good friends. I am able to enjoy my sports teams and hit the gym 5 days a week. I am also an addict. As nat king cole sang, some call it...
    MyThermopylae MyThermopylae 41-45, M 18 Responses Nov 3, 2014

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    Affair With Son In Law, Now Pregnant

    I have searched all over the web for this situation and I have yet to find anything that remotely correlates.  I lost my job a few months ago and I moved in my eldest daughter and family.  I will admit right here and now that I have always had a crush on...
    littlejon63 littlejon63 46-50 354 Responses Mar 24, 2009

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    An implies singular. I have,

    in fact, had 4 affairs. I am not proud or bragging but just being honest. I can say that if you choose to have an affair then you need to really evaluate your relationship and why you are in it and looking for an affair.
    jfar123 jfar123 41-45, M 6 Responses 2 days ago

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    "How do you know for sure you loved him?

    " "Because it feels like someone died. You don't grieve lust."
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 12 Responses Mar 22, 2014

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    Be careful the trolls are out today.

    Just ignore and block. Have a great day.
    tc57 tc57 31-35, F 17 Responses 2 days ago

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    My fellow members/supporters,

    it's just past 10am on Monday Jan 26th. Tonight's the big night. The grand goodbye. We're going to go to our favorite burger joint here and enjoy a last meal together. Last night was super hard. During the day we got into a spat over whatsapp. ..just range of emotions I...
    ATH2000 ATH2000 36-40, F 5 Responses 6 days ago

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    I asked MM, "Do you love me?

    Truly.... tell me.. do you love me?" He looked at me and said, Fmina.. you asked me that question before. I can't say 'I love you' because if I love you, I have to marry you and for me to marry you, I have to be divorced. But I am not thinking of divorce. I can never...
    Fmina Fmina 51-55, F 9 Responses 3 days ago

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    The old me would have replied back to him.

    I would have fallen back into the same habit, the same pattern. I would have gotten back on the same roller coaster of highs and lows. But I want to move forward, not backward. I want to leave the past behind. I want to make progress in becoming who I want to be. I want to be...
    broken418 broken418 22-25, F 9 Responses 3 days ago

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    Dear Haters: I would like to give you an

    insight of a person that is currently involved in having an affair and giving this insight might give you a different opinion of us...might not agree with our actions but never judge someone before you know the entire story....so here it goes... We are human...we are daughters...
    excessbaggage excessbaggage 41-45, F 38 Responses Sep 16, 2014

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    I'm an affair success story.

    In a short period of time, my life took a direction that I never thought possible. I never saw it coming, did things I never thought I was ever capable of, and struggled through some turmoil...but it took my life in a direction that was best for me. This is quite long, as I'm...
    happyasever happyasever 31-35, F 7 Responses Nov 23, 2014

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    basically shagging my best friend from school

    who ive knwon for years while her boyfriend is at work...... i want it to stop because i feel it is wrong but part of me wants to carry on because i am enjoying what we are having together but part of me feels i should be honest and tell her to just split up with her boyffiend
    mustangkid2021 mustangkid2021 18-21, M 4 Responses 6 days ago

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    I am diagnosed with an STD.

    Chlamydia Trachomatis. My MM is also diagnosed with same. After I got my results today, I had to contact him. We both are in treatment. He is the only man I was with in the past 6 years. For him, I was the only one until last year when he decided he wanted to make it...
    Fmina Fmina 51-55, F 18 Responses 3 days ago

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    I am exactly 6 months NC now

    and I would say I am much better. I will be seeing MM now and then for a while coming up soon, but we will just ignore each other as we have since DDay. I still can't believe that we lost our friendship by allowing ourselves to fall in love and letting things get out of control...
    Suzanne1976 Suzanne1976 36-40, F 6 Responses 3 days ago

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    I am in the worst pain ever.

    Why did he message me right when I was starting to move on? And worst of all, he didn't even apologize for what he did to me. Now I have to struggle through NC even worse, knowing that I have an opportunity to talk to him and yet I have to continue on. He doesn't even care what...
    broken418 broken418 22-25, F 8 Responses a week ago

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    It's been over for a year.

    The toughest year in my adult life. I believe like everyone, I have an innate emotional intelligence that will direct me to my personal bliss. The affair woke me up to passion, like nothing else has ever done before. I'm more empathic, less judgmental & more open minded than...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 15 Responses May 27, 2014

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    Is meeting up with someone new

    when you've just broken up with your boyfriend considered cheating?
    cancerian19 cancerian19 26-30, F 8 Responses 3 days ago

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    So it's been over 2 plus years it was love it

    was real love he ended it to do the right thing by his wife who was in a bad place I let him go he made his choice he went and I let him. After years of nothing he finally breaks the silence indirectly to let me know he still cares. I still love him and I want to tell him that...
    lostmyselfgirl lostmyselfgirl 31-35, F 8 Responses Jan 23

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    For those of you who have a child in your

    marriage, and you decided to stay and end your affair because of this- does the happiness that your child provides outweigh that of your happiness with AP. Does it make your decision easier or more clear cut? I do not have a child but AP does. Seems it is easier for him to...
    HurtsEverywhere HurtsEverywhere 31-35, F 5 Responses 2 days ago

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    When it ended for me 9 months ago,

    I didn't want to hear about Time being the healing factor, because time was just an inanimate word and the burning pain in my chest and soul could not be soothed. Time was a vacuum.. a void. Being in 2 relationships never made sense to me. It's some kind of "temporary...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 9 Responses Jan 10, 2014

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    It's over. I am not the same person I was,

    not even close. I am still in hopes that this experience will better me in someway down the line. It has, at the very least, pushed me to get out of my unhappy marriage. But there has been a great toll to pay on my hear, soul and mind. Perhaps too great a toll. Thanks to...
    itsmrwhiteyo itsmrwhiteyo 41-45, M 9 Responses 4 days ago

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    What a storm in a teacup affairs really ARE.

    .. All contained within the walls of our hearts and minds, never to see the light of day. Haunting in their hidden beauty and their memorable "one liners". Covered with innuendos and lies just to have that one more hug, one more look, one more talk, one more kiss, then one more...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 22 Responses Oct 13, 2014

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    why do people like to call the ap women home

    wrecker??!! Come on... So sad to hear people say that.. It's ignorant, judge mental and so much more...truth is... If the home wasn't off to begin with the affair wouldn't have happened. It takes two people to make an affair work. So if anyone is a home wrecker it's the dam...
    ventingagain ventingagain 31-35, F 31 Responses Nov 19, 2014

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    Do you ever wish you could meet done of the

    friends you have made on here.....the ones who know everything about you but never judge you? We can't have these conversations with our friends (or many of them. I think we all have at least one that we trust enough to tell) ....they might judge/spill our secrets. But out...
    sallyanne44 sallyanne44 41-45, F 20 Responses Jul 30, 2014

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    No not really. Sorry to disappoint you

    but you ladies in your 40s might want to hear this anyway. I have been crazy with thoughts about affairs and really any idiot has been looking like Brad Pitt to me since last December. I was unhappy, depressed and even put myself in the situations that could have ended up with...
    discovery5 discovery5 41-45, F 17 Responses Apr 25, 2014

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    Two Lovers, One Night.

    I'm afraid this is going to make me sound slutty. That is not really the case, i have just had weak moments in my life. I’m going to leave a lot of the mundane details out of this story to make it more interesting. This did happen several years ago but by highlighting the...
    emstioy emstioy 46-50, F 68 Responses Jan 8, 2012

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    http://mariashriver.com/blog/2014/11/why-im-glad-my-parents-divorced-divorced-moms/ Very good read about divorce, affairs and remarriage.
    just2night just2night 41-45, F 1 Response a week ago

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    More Like, 'my Affair Had Me'

    my affair did have me - for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. it chewed me up, spit me out, and i have yet to recover. we were in love, and probably still are (i definitely am) but ultimately it was my choice to end it - i didnt want to end my marriage for various reasons and knew...
    IJustWantYouToKnowWhoIAm IJustWantYouToKnowWhoIAm 31-35, F 25 Responses Dec 26, 2011

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    My Husband's Best Freind

    I t was exactly 1 yr ago. I was so depressed and ready to give up on ever being happy. My husband at the time was being very emotionally and verbally abusive. I got an e-mail from my husband's best freind. He was wondering how we were doing, and needed to talk. He had just split...
    hotandcuddly hotandcuddly 51-55, F 44 Responses Sep 1, 2011

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    After lots of tears from

    both sides it's finally over. Back in 2000 I wrote him a letter before he left for NY. I told him don't open the letter until you get in the bus and are on your way.  Tonight he surprised me with a letter and told me to read it after he left the hotel.  I read the letter...
    ATH2000 ATH2000 36-40, F 5 Responses 5 days ago

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    Today is day 3 of NC.

    I'm not sure what I'm suppose to be feeling during this time. After years of emotional chaos, highs and lows, and now feeling numb is that normal? I got back on Tuesday and Wed my AP and I spent 3 hrs on the phone saying goodbye. I've had really sad moments past couple of...
    ATH2000 ATH2000 36-40, F 5 Responses 1 day ago

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    I Could Help It

    It started about 4 months ago in the grocery store i caughgt a guy about 23 watching me it kind of creaped me out and excited me at the same time seeing that my husband isnt interested anymore.So i paid for my things and headed for my car. As i turned around that guy had folloed...
    imsweetenough imsweetenough 31-35, F 188 Responses Dec 30, 2011

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    Shocking Love Affair

    I must confess something here that I thought, I would never ever talk about in my life. But I have to admit, I had an affair. Yes I did, and now I have to live with it for the rest of my life. Here's my shocking story..... About two weeks ago, I cheated on my true love...I...
    JimMorrisonRocks JimMorrisonRocks 26-30, M 28 Responses Jun 25, 2012

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    It's officially over!

    I saw his true side and I finally was strong enough to end it. I am hurting but relieved at the same time. This has definitely been a learning experience for me. :( I know in time I will get stronger each and everyday. Thank you to all to my EP friends for your support and...
    Cheeks2014 Cheeks2014 36-40, F 27 Responses Jan 19, 2014

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    I have come full circle with my affair.

    .. This was the most beautiful yet unhealthiest relationship I have ever engaged in.... I trashed my self esteem, my morals and my heart for this relationship. I loved with every fiber in my body and every cell of my brain yet I was slowly reduced to a friend with no possibility...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 10 Responses Dec 17, 2013

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    If you are looking for just sex,

    don't message me. I will block you. I came on this site to feel better and make friends. Anyone with ulterior motives should stay far away from me.
    broken418 broken418 22-25, F 3 Responses a week ago

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    I have been in EP for a few months,

    read many stories here, particularly in this experience and other post about had an affair. Just amazed, how easily other shallow peoples tried to judged other person when they have read the experience. Some of us, didn't have plan to be the other woman. And some of MM are also...
    ssally123 ssally123 41-45, F 19 Responses Jan 4, 2014

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    Feeling really good today.

    . Spent time with a the new MM man again yesterday..He's so into me, I love it! I will never ever waist my time again on a man that's not!
    Differentforever Differentforever 46-50, F 21 Responses Jan 23

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    I hope... ...Every day

    when you wake up, you miss the good morning texts and calls we shared. ...Every night you think about how we would say " goodnight love bug." ...When you see a woman with auburn hair, you think about how you loved to wrap my curls around your fingers when we kissed. ...You...
    Urbancowgirl Urbancowgirl 36-40 11 Responses Dec 16, 2013

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    5 months ago I met a man off AM.

    He's East Indian, married, had 2 kids, stuck in a miserable marriage like me. I never thought I would meet someone like him. He's so sweet to me and just loves me. He's seperating from his wife and will be moving out soon. We talk everyday . See each other when we can even...
    js1276 js1276 41-45, F 4 Responses Jan 24

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    Dear Jonathan And Our Two Children.....i'm So Sorry.

    Tomorrow 01/13/13 is the1 year anniversary of my relationship with the man I'm having an affair with, the man I compromised my entire life for, the man I chose over my family when I got caught 6 months ago, and the man I currently live with today. And 1 year ago tomorrow I...
    Annie3321 Annie3321 26-30, F 86 Responses Jan 12, 2013

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    Society has long become more open to the idea

    of older man - younger woman relationship and older woman - younger man relationship as well. Hollywood has brought in the practice of successful older men looking for younger women. With actresses such as Catherine Zeta Jones marrying Michael Douglas with an age gap of 25 years...
    sarahcc11 sarahcc11 26-30, F 5 days ago

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    Today, urged on by an EP friend,

    I deleted the Hotmail account that I had used exclusively, off and on, to correspond with my OW between 2006 and 2013. In there were the early love notes when we were exploring the possibility of crossing the line. I also kept some sad ones from the times that we were apart at...
    Wilbury Wilbury 41-45, M 21 Responses Jan 15, 2014

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