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I Had An Affair

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 13,975 People

    I am having a hard time letting go

    and feel tormented. For me, it is one of the worse feelings in the world when you want to talk to your lover and can't...or they are unresponsive to your requests...it hurts and there is nothing you can do about it because they don't belong to you. The memories and good times...
    Dreamgirl75 Dreamgirl75 36-40, F 23 Responses Apr 10

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    Two Lovers, One Night.

    I'm afraid this is going to make me sound slutty. That is not really the case, i have just had weak moments in my life. I’m going to leave a lot of the mundane details out of this story to make it more interesting. This did happen several years ago but by highlighting the...
    emstioy emstioy 46-50, F 69 Responses Jan 8, 2012

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    I am still so angry at you.

    You have made me a bitter person towards you and I want to see you hurt. That is not me. I would never wish any thing like that upon any one. I have never been this angry. You striped me of everything good that I had in me, I don't have the strength to get back up,,,,not yet...
    Linley242 Linley242 51-55, F 1 Response 3 hrs ago

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    Today, urged on by an EP friend,

    I deleted the Hotmail account that I had used exclusively, off and on, to correspond with my OW between 2006 and 2013. In there were the early love notes when we were exploring the possibility of crossing the line. I also kept some sad ones from the times that we were apart at...
    Wilbury Wilbury 41-45, M 18 Responses Jan 15

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    I ended things with my AP tonite,

    I went to his place, we sat outside, he smoked a cigarette, we small talked, he told me he wanted to tell me about his personal life, he told me he has a girlfriend, we talked about that for a bit, he invited me in for wine and I declined, I never have before, I told him we need...
    mntmama mntmama 36-40, F 6 Responses 22 hrs ago

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    Good days are outweighing the bad now.

    When will the bad be totally gone?? The anger, resentment, regrets....my choices, my decisions, his part in all of it. When is the magic day that comes where I am finally at peace with things? When??? Because waiting for it is torture. Meanwhile, I get pissed off and vent. Get...
    Mystery226 Mystery226 46-50, F 5 Responses 2 days ago

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    No I didn't have an affair,

    but I can't stand the fact that people are actually proud of having one. Having an affair these days is apparently quite common so it makes "okay." I can't believe that is what some people really think! It's not okay and having one has consequences. No matter what reason you...
    SiriusJT SiriusJT 18-21, M 6 Responses 13 hrs ago

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    Ok. After I said I would never do this again.

    .. I failed and crumbled. I met someone else. He's married too. Yes I'm gonna hear every ones opinions good or bad. I should have had more control but I felt vulnerable . Uggh!!!
    js1276 js1276 36-40, F 8 Responses 1 day ago

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    Maybe you're reading this

    because you are having an affair or had one already or maybe you are thinking about doing it. I can't give advice because I have no clue. All I know is I am recovering and it's been a long recovery. I think the most surprising aspect was the emotion that came with this...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 20 Responses Jan 4

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    This is a private message I wrote to a fellow

    EP member, but I wanted to share my thoughts publicly: Thanks again for your insight. I'm not very wordy today, but wanted to tell you that I have been doing a lot of self reflection and am slowly learning about myself and what my actions mean to me. I've actually been this...
    Koalaclover Koalaclover 36-40, F 6 Responses 1 day ago

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    Do you ever wish you could meet done of the

    friends you have made on here.....the ones who know everything about you but never judge you? We can't have these conversations with our friends (or many of them. I think we all have at least one that we trust enough to tell) ....they might judge/spill our secrets. But out...
    sallyanne44 sallyanne44 41-45, F 21 Responses Jul 30

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    I am having problems recovering from this.

    It was not a long affair, only a few months, but at some point we were both getting too emotionally attached and it was not what we had planned, so we decided to end it. I know it was the right thing to do for both of us, but it feels horrible not being able to talk about it, to...
    Natalie012 Natalie012 26-30, F 6 Responses 3 days ago

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    More Like, 'my Affair Had Me'

    my affair did have me - for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. it chewed me up, spit me out, and i have yet to recover. we were in love, and probably still are (i definitely am) but ultimately it was my choice to end it - i didnt want to end my marriage for various reasons and knew...
    IJustWantYouToKnowWhoIAm IJustWantYouToKnowWhoIAm 31-35, F 26 Responses Dec 26, 2011

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    An interesting read http://www.

    crystalinks.com/entangled.html
    zoey3000 zoey3000 31-35, F 3 days ago

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    I Could Help It

    It started about 4 months ago in the grocery store i caughgt a guy about 23 watching me it kind of creaped me out and excited me at the same time seeing that my husband isnt interested anymore.So i paid for my things and headed for my car. As i turned around that guy had folloed...
    imsweetenough imsweetenough 31-35, F 205 Responses Dec 30, 2011

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    narcissist [nahr-suh-sist] Spell

    Syllables Examples Word Origin noun 1. a person who is overly self-involved, and often vain and selfish. 2. Psychoanalysis. a person who suffers from narcissism, deriving erotic gratification from admiration of his or her own physical or mental attributes.
    Linley242 Linley242 51-55, F 2 days ago

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    An affair... The beginning: The best part.

    The getting to know each other, the can't get enough, the spark, the passion, the excitement, the fun, the romance, the constant communication, you won't fall in love The middle: Still passionate, still exciting, still fun, still communicating regularly, the romance is still...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 9 Responses Feb 22

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    Differentforever Differentforever 46-50, F 8 Responses 1 day ago

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    I have come full circle with my affair.

    .. This was the most beautiful yet unhealthiest relationship I have ever engaged in.... I trashed my self esteem, my morals and my heart for this relationship. I loved with every fiber in my body and every cell of my brain yet I was slowly reduced to a friend with no possibility...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 11 Responses Dec 17, 2013

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    My Husband's Best Freind

    I t was exactly 1 yr ago. I was so depressed and ready to give up on ever being happy. My husband at the time was being very emotionally and verbally abusive. I got an e-mail from my husband's best freind. He was wondering how we were doing, and needed to talk. He had just split...
    hotandcuddly hotandcuddly 51-55, F 48 Responses Sep 1, 2011

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    It wasn't so much an affair

    as it was a ******* or 5. During one my husband walked up to the car and caught me. I thought I was in so much trouble. Within two days my husband was begging me to **** the other guy and let him watch.
    greenmountainmomma greenmountainmomma 31-35, F 21 Responses Jan 30

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    Feeling angry Frustrated at home .

    .. Should leave was working on it but good hubby behaviour ( minus the sex) slowed that process down And the AP is behaving like a complete ******* ... Fantastic for a week or so followed by a few ****** days.. That's the cycle lately. Why do I do this to myself, put up with it...
    zoey3000 zoey3000 31-35, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    I have come to a conclusion.

    It's taken me a while but I see it so clearly between last night and tonight.....My life will never be the same, I cannot go back from this affair. I am forever changed. I let someone I care deeply about in and change my whole life. No one to blame but myself, but the only way...
    Suzanne1976 Suzanne1976 36-40, F 5 Responses 4 days ago

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    It's been over for a year.

    The toughest year in my adult life. I believe like everyone, I have an innate emotional intelligence that will direct me to my personal bliss. The affair woke me up to passion, like nothing else has ever done before. I'm more empathic, less judgmental & more open minded than...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 15 Responses May 27

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    "How do you know for sure you loved him?

    " "Because it feels like someone died. You don't grieve lust."
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 11 Responses Mar 22

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    When it ended for me 9 months ago,

    I didn't want to hear about Time being the healing factor, because time was just an inanimate word and the burning pain in my chest and soul could not be soothed. Time was a vacuum.. a void. Being in 2 relationships never made sense to me. It's some kind of "temporary...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 10 Responses Jan 10

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    I'm married to a wonderful man

    and have two beautiful children but I have been having an affair with a MM for over a year. It's been a tremendous experience for me, both good and bad, and I don't know if I ever want it to end. Lots to talk about sometime but just saying hi to you all for now. I'm so glad I...
    Wikedangel Wikedangel 36-40, F 20 Responses Jan 4

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    At times I wish I woke up with amnesia.

    To forget what was. We fell in love, wrote our own romance novel. "There is nothing cute, romantic or sexy about an affair", but in our world, it was everything and more. It is nothing to be proud of and boast to the world; how i wanted the world to know us, see us. But...
    akahi akahi 22-25, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    I have been in EP for a few months,

    read many stories here, particularly in this experience and other post about had an affair. Just amazed, how easily other shallow peoples tried to judged other person when they have read the experience. Some of us, didn't have plan to be the other woman. And some of MM are also...
    ssally123 ssally123 41-45, F 19 Responses Jan 4

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    The thing about affairs.

    Maybe it's just sex, something new and exciting. The touch, the want, the feeling of being wanted, appreciated; needed. Maybe he was my soul-mate, he understands me, accepts me; listens. We connect on many, almost every level. Just like every new and fresh relationship, this...
    akahi akahi 22-25, F 4 Responses 6 hrs ago

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    I sort of feel like an idiot.

    .. I think that exAP and I sort of started having an emotional affair. We've been talking again and we hung out for about 6 hours (completely platonically) when I got back from my vacation... While on vacation with my BFF, she introduced me to her male friend. My BFF and I went...
    Koalaclover Koalaclover 36-40, F 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    She wasn't supposed to stay last night.

    Our date was just for the dance but, like always, we ended up in bed. I mean, she told me when I picked her up that there would be no hanky panky. As if we could regulate our feelings... She came in for a minute after the dance though, we snuggled talking, and it soon became...
    pcflvly pcflvly 46-50, M 1 Response 4 days ago

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    I almost called you yesterday.

    I have been so sick with the flu, I wanted to die. Being that sick made me want you. I wanted to hear your voice and tell me everything was going to be okay. But I didn't. I got through it without you. Why would I want to call a selfish pig like you. I hate you, I want to see...
    Linley242 Linley242 51-55, F 3 Responses 4 days ago

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    I have discussed this earlier.

    . I'm not married but If my wife found a lover yet still wants to be my wife, I think I will be ok with it and make it work. And to be honest too I think I like having a wife that is desired by others. I don't want to watch or anything but yea I can live with that.
    GuyKL GuyKL 41-45, M 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    I've decided going forward

    if someone comments negatively on an experience I share here, I'm going to immediately delete their comment and block them. My experiences are part of my past, they're factual and they've already occurred so unkind, judgmental remarks are a waste of time and unnecessary. I don't...
    nothingbetterthanlaughing nothingbetterthanlaughing 31-35, F 8 Responses Mar 15

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    He Doesn'T Know

    But I'm getting ready to leave him. He doesn't know. The love of my life. The most beautiful man that should be mine. All the promises I made him. I will break. He won't leave me ever. He has no reason to. I can't compartmentaliZe. Im not a box. And he's my world. The playing...
    mysecretworld mysecretworld 36-40, F 16 Responses Nov 4, 2013

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    I hope... ...Every day

    when you wake up, you miss the good morning texts and calls we shared. ...Every night you think about how we would say " goodnight love bug." ...When you see a woman with auburn hair, you think about how you loved to wrap my curls around your fingers when we kissed. ...You...
    Urbancowgirl Urbancowgirl 36-40 10 Responses Dec 16, 2013

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    What a storm in a teacup affairs really ARE.

    .. All contained within the walls of our hearts and minds, never to see the light of day. Haunting in their hidden beauty and their memorable "one liners". Covered with innuendos and lies just to have that one more hug, one more look, one more talk, one more kiss, then one more...
    marmelade marmelade 51-55, F 17 Responses Oct 13

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    Monogamy is an outdated practice.

    True Love should not be bound by rules and restrictions. True Love should be liberating and free! Seriously. I'm not encouraging you to cheat on your husband, I'm just saying, if you do, it's not THAT bad of a thing. You might even want to consider speaking with him...
    AaronLA AaronLA 31-35, M 5 Responses 2 days ago

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    One thing out of this mess I've been thru,

    that I can take away. A lot of self discovery. Why I do the things I do. Why I react the way I do. How to accept my responsibility in getting to this point. I did pursue him. I knew he was on the line. Lonely husband. It's like I can smell them a mile away. Of course, why else...
    Mystery226 Mystery226 46-50, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    I got to see my AP yesterday.

    It was wonderful and perfect.
    nikalpikal nikalpikal 41-45, F 4 Responses 2 days ago

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    I am married with kids,

    he is also married with kids. Going on since last November. I'm addicted to him and our trysts. I tried to end it on numerous occasions because I know it is morally wrong. Obviously that didn't last. I love what we have and love him too. It will never happen between us...
    SexyMomma37 SexyMomma37 36-40, F 16 Responses Mar 13

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    Spent the last week going through my own

    personal hell. Yes I know, it's what I created and what I deserved. Husband asked if it was worth it, I replied no. I never got caught, I came clean. I wish I never met this other man, my life was fine, before he walked in. Now all I have are memories. I threw away my marriage...
    akahi akahi 22-25, F 6 Responses 2 days ago

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    It's officially over!

    I saw his true side and I finally was strong enough to end it. I am hurting but relieved at the same time. This has definitely been a learning experience for me. :( I know in time I will get stronger each and everyday. Thank you to all to my EP friends for your support and...
    Cheeks2014 Cheeks2014 36-40, F 28 Responses Jan 19

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    No not really. Sorry to disappoint you

    but you ladies in your 40s might want to hear this anyway. I have been crazy with thoughts about affairs and really any idiot has been looking like Brad Pitt to me since last December. I was unhappy, depressed and even put myself in the situations that could have ended up with...
    discovery5 discovery5 41-45, F 18 Responses Apr 25

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    Update: Still going strong with my secret love.

    .. I still think about how wrong this is. Every minute, every text....every stolen kiss and every intense moment we share. If it's so wrong, why in the hell does it feel so right?? I asked my husband what would happen if I ever cheated on him... What would he think, what...
    Chelsea84 Chelsea84 26-30, F 20 Responses Feb 8

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    We slipped.... Sexy hot texts back

    and fourth about how much were craving each other... I miss him so freakin' much..
    Differentforever Differentforever 46-50, F 11 Responses 16 hrs ago

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    Ladies, please do not have affairs with married

    men. They are painful experiences and absolutely no good comes out of it. If anything, you lose a lot more. This affair has turned my world upside down, lost friends, family members and a job. One man is not worth that,,a cheating man at that.
    Linley242 Linley242 51-55, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    He text me last night

    and my heart jumped. I desperately wanted to respond but I didn't. He wanted to see me over the weekend but I didn't meet him. I love him so much and want to lie in his arms like I used to. But I can't. I know it's not a good situation for me. I can not take the guilt that comes...
    Australianladybug Australianladybug 31-35, F 17 Responses Mar 3

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    "What's Left" A few pictures,

    two tickets, from a trip we took last year, A handful of memories, some still seem clear, A few regrets, a couple of melodies, that remind me of you, I could say that I won't miss this, but that wouldn't be the truth, There's no one here to blame, and this is the only way, There...
    Mystery226 Mystery226 46-50, F 5 Responses 1 day ago

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    I love my AP and husband.

    They both have the qualities I love but I wish it were all wrapped up in one guy. I can't leave my husband. I also can't let my AP go. I try and he seems to hold on as well. I'm not sure what to do anymore.
    timetochange2 timetochange2 41-45, F 6 Responses 1 day ago

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    letting go.. He ended things.

    .. Walked away.. We both knew that hearts could change.. No strings.. Then why the "friendship"? Why? at first I needed it.. But What about now? I'm holding on to hope.. I admit it.. That tiny little bit of hope that we will find "us" again.. But What about...
    Differentforever Differentforever 46-50, F 4 Responses 2 days ago

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    For SLASHEDHEART... And

    for myself too I guess and anyone else that needs it .... xxx
    zoey3000 zoey3000 31-35, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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