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I Hate Asking For Help

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 5,005 People

    Helpless to get Help I have a phobia of asking

    for help. My symptoms include not getting stuff done, spending hours figuring out trivial things, procrastinating, annoying people with my seemingly apathetic attitude, and alienating myself. I’ve always valued my independence and never saw my compulsion to be self-sufficient...
    kiarrafire kiarrafire 18-21, F May 7

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    One Time I Asked For Help.

    I met this girl who was all like you can talk to me about anything, I'll help, I swear and stuff. So I finally told her about my most miserable, when I was raped and all she said was, "rape happens to a million girls in the world, get over it. why should I bother when it doesn't...
    Broken2412 Broken2412 18-21, F 5 Responses Oct 17, 2013

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    I'm Always the Helper, So I Can't Be the "Helpee"

    Although I've recently figured out its actually okay to ask for help, its still hard for me. People think I give great advice, so they always come to me with their problems. I will sit with a person for hours on end listening to their story and offering feedback, and I like it...
    sublimex sublimex 16-17, F 6 Responses Dec 25, 2007

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    I always help people

    when they need me I'm always there for them, but when I need help nobody is there, so I don't ask for help anymore.
    brownzugar brownzugar 16-17, M 1 Response Jan 3

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    Not Been Brought Up This Way....

    As a child, I was always ridiculed for showing emotion. When I cried, my mother used to say that I was being ridiculous or silly. I guess since then, I have grown up to think my feelings dont matter. I feel I always have to be strong and when I am upset, I worry that I cant voice...
    Jenni855 Jenni855 26-30, F 5 Responses Apr 27, 2013

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    Yet it's the thing I need most right now.

    If someone offers even 1% of a listening ear, I bite it off at the moment. But it's not whinging, or similar. My problems are real in the eyes of most of the people around me. But, I need help so much it's interfering. I'm concerned that when I go to the work bbq... I will...
    cloudsoflife cloudsoflife 26-30, M 1 Response Apr 29

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    I Rarely Ask For Help

    Not sure why but I hat to ask anyone else for anything at all.  I think most of all I hate the feeling of being helpless in any  situation. I try and plan ahead for anything that I can.  Not like an obsession or anything , I just get great peace of mind from being...
    VoteForPedro VoteForPedro 51-55, F 9 Responses Jun 20, 2010

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    I Admit It.

    I'm a man. I'm stubborn. And, asking for directions is a last resort.
    Inman Inman 31-35, M 4 Responses Jan 19, 2008

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    I don't know my pride is a problem.

    I would rather fail than ask for help. I know that's really stupid, but whenever I have asked for help it made me feel some type of way. Wasn't a good feeling. It made me feel stupid and incapable
    DarkGoddesss DarkGoddesss 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 31, 2013

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    I hate asking for help,

    it's such a stressful experience. I don't mind helping out other people, but it does take something out of you when you feel you need to depend on others. Ugh, what a disgusting feeling. Especially, when you don't really find the person reliable anyway but you still ask cause...
    Lifelover38 Lifelover38 22-25, M 3 Responses Jan 6

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    It's Sunday. I'm trying not to bug my

    psychologist by texting him.
    Minnowshi Minnowshi 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 16, 2014

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    I Hate To Ask For Help

    I hate to ask for help but if I really need help I ask for it anyway.
    aquarius3 aquarius3 61-65 Jan 29, 2012

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    I Have to Do It Myself

    I am so bad at asking for help.  If something is to heavy and I have to move it I will try everything before I give up but I won't ask for help.  That is a bad thing too because I usually end up hurting myself.  I don't ask for help much also because I just want to do it...
    rondat rondat 41-45, F 12 Responses Jan 11, 2008

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    I'm the one who everyone opens up to

    but can't open up to anyone. Neat isn't it? Nah seriously. I wish I could ask for help or at least talk about my problems.
    deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses Apr 30

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    Asking For Help: Is Like Getting My Teeth Pulled

    Why is it so hard to ask people for help when I need it. There isn't anything in my childhood that may have hindered me from asking for help...I think. I needed my mom to help with my homework but she was resting when I decided to get it done. My dad said to ask my older brother...
    Letstalkaboutitin2013 Letstalkaboutitin2013 61-65, F Oct 25, 2012

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    Bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla

    bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla bla!
    HannahSavannah HannahSavannah 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 5

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    I absolutely hate asking

    for help. For whatever the situation is I feel like people will think I'm dumb or weak or not independent of I ask for help. It's been a lifelong struggle.
    Girlinthefloweredskirt Girlinthefloweredskirt 16-17, F 2 Responses Apr 20, 2014

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    The Price Of Pride

    When I was a kid, we struggled somewhat financially due to my mom's alcoholism. Every time my sister used to ask for something my parents couldn't afford, I saw how much it upset my dad that he couldn't give it to her. So I learned not to ask at all. I developed quite a complex...
    Lullacus Lullacus 22-25, F 2 Responses May 18, 2013

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    And Always Have...

    When I was a kid, I had to learn the skills of survival early on because my mom was a lost soul and capable of only limited parenting. By the age of 6 I was making my own lunch for school, and had to make my way through the world in great part looking out for myself. As a result...
    VTMarkus VTMarkus 46-50, M 1 Response Dec 1, 2011

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    I feel like when I ask

    for help it lower myself and I can't do anything for my self
    Sexybbbbb Sexybbbbb 13-15, F 2 Responses Jan 3

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    I Hate Asking For Help ... To Me It Is A Sign Of Weakness

    In my younger days I was a very strong woman, physically, emotionally and financially. I grieve for those days when I was independent, carefree and confident.Two things have changed my life drastically; I had an accident nine years ago, and for the last two and a half years I...
    SolitaireDiamond SolitaireDiamond 51-55, F 10 Responses Jun 17, 2013

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    I had sex 2 weeks and 5 days ago.

    I feel pregnant. I am waiting for the 13th to buy a test so it can be 100%. But I am having lower abdominal pain is this normal?
    Jennaaaababyy Jennaaaababyy 13-15, F 2 Responses Oct 5, 2014

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    why cant I talk to anyone about whats going on

    with me feel like I should sort my own crap up
    naomijanemccormack naomijanemccormack 26-30, F Feb 10

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    Always Have (hated Asking For Help)

    One of the oldest stereotypes for men is that they can't read road maps and are incapable of asking for help to find their way--I must say that I posess a little of that in me--not so much the reading road map part, but the part about asking for help does fit me to a tee.  I'm...
    Endomorph Endomorph 51-55, M 3 Responses Dec 19, 2012

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    my doctor straight told me

    that I am the kind to help everyone with their problems to keep my mind off my own.
    Minnowshi Minnowshi 18-21, F Nov 16, 2014

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    But I'm Learning...

    I was always afraid of letting anyone close to me--much less ask or let them help me. It's still a little hard to allow someone to help, and I rarely ask, but I am slowly growing toward being able to be real and open with others...... and finding that it shows my COURAGE and...
    02KnowMe 02KnowMe 41-45, F 2 Responses Sep 17, 2011

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    Why should i ask for help?

    Why should u help me? U Will let me down And leave me to die alone anyway...
    Healinghate Healinghate 18-21, M 3 Responses Apr 5

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    Failure!

    I've failed/dropped 9 classes because I was scared to ask for help! I've pulled muscles, been physically hurt, been afraid to cry or talk to people I love because I don't want to bother anyone.
    jokinpa jokinpa 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 10, 2007

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    My Flaw

    Somewhere along the way in my screwey childhood, I was taught that asking for and/or accepting help was a terrible weakness. Well...that's what my Mama's husband would say anyway! Meanwhile Mama would give the shirt off her back to anyone who needed it. Sometimes it was a guy...
    choctawgrrrl choctawgrrrl 41-45, F 1 Response Sep 8, 2012

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    Expectations...

    I have such high expectations of myself and have always held myself responsible and accountable beyond all others regardless. Asking for help, as my upbringing would make you believe, is a weakness from within, a character flaw of sorts.  This was unacceptable.  It was...
    AbbyNormal AbbyNormal 31-35, F 1 Response Aug 27, 2007

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    its not easy dealing with school

    while working at the same time then having family drama that no one can see you having to put the cherry on the top having a boyfriend that's a question mark.
    smilingtolie smilingtolie 18-21, F Jan 13

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    My Final Option Maybe it's my pride at work,

    maybe it's because I feel weak asking, maybe because in the past, when I've asked people for help, they've fallen through and/or wanted something in return and constantly hold it over your head until you've paid them back, but it's the most difficult thing for me to do. So...
    Aelfwynn Aelfwynn 26-30, F 1 Response Mar 4, 2014

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    I am constantly tired

    and it's all I can think about. My mentality, friends bitching, depressed thoughts and exhaustion ALL I CAN COME UP WITH IN MY MESSED UP MIND I can't speak like a normal person I can't do anything right IM A FREAKING FAILURE See? Even now I can't think of anything to type or say...
    shadowgem shadowgem 13-15, F 4 Responses Nov 25, 2014

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    I now know why I've had eating problems,

    anxiety, and extreme self-image/self-confidence problems... I just had a really big reality check and I honestly cannot stop crying. Good and bad tears. Gosh... I don't know what to say right now other than I need to vent and let it all out... God has a plan...
    lizygurl lizygurl 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 26

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    I guess I hate asking

    for help because I always want to be the one to help others, it's what makes me happy. But lately I've had to come to the realization that you can't pour into others without being poured into.
    jolieember12 jolieember12 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 21, 2014

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    I always hate the idea of asking

    for help and delegating work to others. I enjoy doing things by myself and getting the work done with no body to blame but me if ever things don't go as plan, even if it gets really difficult that I hardly sleep any more. But of course, there will be times that you'll need to...
    hopelessaddict hopelessaddict 26-30, F May 21, 2014

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    What part of the brain is making me think its

    a good idea to rip off my own skin?
    Minnowshi Minnowshi 18-21, F Nov 27, 2014

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    Hey i just discovered this,

    (lol this isn't an add) i think its a great way of helping yourself https://www.futureme.org/ write yourself an email to the future I wrote how i think i can get over my hurdle (final school year, getting into medicine, the stress etc,etc) :3
    aya101 aya101 16-17, F Feb 14

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    I Always Feel Like I'm Bothering Others

    I hate asking for help too. For me, I don't really think it's about pride. I think it's more about low self-esteem. I feel like if I ask someone for help, I'm bothering them. And why should I expect anyone to drop what they're doing to help ME? While I hate blaming my parents...
    lmori lmori 36-40 5 Responses Dec 26, 2010

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    hate asking for help ever

    since I was little if I feel or hot cut my dad would stare and say to go fix myself when I hurt myself badly he just stared and left me to take care of myself while he called me a stupid ***** so now that I'm grown I hate asking for help and when I get it it just ****** me off I...
    sadmistak3 sadmistak3 18-21, F Jan 4

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    When I ask for help, I always feel like it's

    admitting that I'm stupid, yes I score high on the standardized tests and have a high IQ but I still hate it when I don't get things and have to ask for help
    EmoGirl286 EmoGirl286 13-15, F 2 Responses Mar 19, 2014

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    It makes me feel weak

    or that I might somehow end up in someone's debt or some bs like that.
    Nojji Nojji 13-15, F 5 Responses May 8, 2014

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    Can i have honest opinions.

    How is this dress for my big sisters birthday party?
    Masuka99 Masuka99 16-17, F 6 Responses Apr 6

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    God, I hate going for help.

    My parents never really helped me out, so I guess I got good at problem solving, and now I feel that everyone else doesnt know better than me, even though I know some of them do. It's gotten to be a serious problem. I can barely ask for advice even.
    nicias nicias 13-15, M Jan 4

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    I hate asking for because by the time the

    person I asked gives me a hand I have almost found my way out of the problem.
    sroonaka616 sroonaka616 18-21 Feb 12

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    I have people in my life

    that I could go to and I know they would listen and do what they could to help, but I don't ask. I don't see needing help as a sign of weakness and I think everyone needs something from someone else at some point. My hangup is it would feel like I'm interrupting their daily...
    cowboy004 cowboy004 36-40, M Jan 4

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