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I Hate Being a Stepmom

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 781 People

    After another couple grand

    for a lawyer - I am overwhelmed with the situation with the ex & children! I do really "hate" being a "stepmom!" My boyfriend was with a woman with 3 children who all had different dads. He had a child with her, not knowing if it was his. When it was confirmed the child was...
    patientlove patientlove 22-25 1 Response Feb 7

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    I am a stepmom of a girl age 13,

    been for a little over a year. I hate it. When I see her all i see is my husband (her dad) old wife and old life. We have a real daughter that is 4 and I hate the stepdaughter. She can be so rude, and bitchy. I hate that we do family things and she is there. I hate family photos...
    StepmomLife StepmomLife 26-30, F 10 Responses Mar 27

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    Hey everyone..I wrote last week about hating

    being a step mom. I read through a lot of forums and could relate with other women out there. There's no hard & fast rules as everyone's experience, albeit similar at times, is unique. Through it all, I came to realise that my hating being a step mom was down to the fact...
    lorir1975 lorir1975 36-40, F 5 Responses Feb 11, 2014

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    I just married my husband in November of 2014.

    Before we married I knew he had 2 kids but we broke up for about four months and in that four months, he got the kids mother pregnant AGAIN!! What do I do??? I married him anyway. Now I think that's the worst decision I made in my whole life!!! Now my husband has a 9yr old, 3yr...
    hurtstepmom hurtstepmom 31-35, F 18 Responses May 13, 2014

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    This is a bit lengthy .

    I had to unburden my mind before I break down. Am sooo overwhelmed, discouraged and confused right now. I met a wonderful guy about two and half years ago through a mutual friend( we are now married with a one year old) when we met, he told me he had an 18 month old son with...
    soujourner82 soujourner82 31-35, F 6 Responses Jan 21

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    Raising a child that isn't your own.

    Such fun! When things get tough, there are no sweet memories of them being cute because you weren't around for that part. No biological love to fall back on. I'm so sick of it all. 7 years and I'm thinking of throwing in the towel. She'll be 14 in June so pretty sure it's not...
    Countrychicky Countrychicky 26-30 3 Responses Apr 10, 2014

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    Can anyone tell me if things change

    for the better or should I cut my losses now and get out????
    heartbrokeninwisc heartbrokeninwisc 41-45, F 6 Responses Mar 23

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    Is it just me or are loads of (young) people

    just signing up to attack what you wrote just for the fun of it?? Some haven't even read through the whole story and based their opinion on the first 3 sentences. People really don't have to agree with what I write but just leaving a comment calling me names or a bad person...
    makingimpossiblepossible makingimpossiblepossible 41-45, F 4 Responses Mar 21, 2014

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    So my step kids are 3

    and 1 both have different mothers and live with them. I am not allowed to see them but my husband goes to visit them regularly. I feel as though I am in the way. I also hate that I am not a part of their lives. It's all a different world from me. Am I wrong to feel this way? It...
    poojibp poojibp 18-21, F 4 Responses Feb 22

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    As caretakers we feel

    that love and attention can fix anything but sometimes that's not true. I would try therapy if you really want to try to keep things together.
    back2livin back2livin 51-55, F 3 Responses Mar 17

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    I am a stepmom to a 7yr old girl

    and have been in her life since she was 3. I feel myself resenting her more and more and dreading every time she comes over. We have her 50 percent of the time. I feel like from the beginning I was expected to me her mom when she was at our house. My husband works a lot of...
    amlesa amlesa 26-30, F 9 Responses 5 days ago

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    Before I start, please know I try to do all I

    can to be a great mom to my SD. I am involved with her school/ activities, homework, I take her places, make her meals, buy her clothes when needed, etc. but, 85% of the time I hate it. When I first met my husband she was a great girl. She was very sweet and my husband took...
    MargeSimpson31 MargeSimpson31 31-35, F 4 Responses Aug 29, 2014

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    What I hate overall about being a "step parent"

    is the fact that all I really equate to is a wallet.
    sobackwards sobackwards 31-35, F 4 Responses Apr 5, 2014

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    I hate it. they're lovely kids

    but I can't deal with it. I feel jealous of the attention my partner gives them. They constantly talk about their mum. I don't want to be the stepmother at their weddings and birthday party's etc. I can't deal with it and know I need to leave my partner and be with someone I can...
    lnicolem lnicolem 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 23

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    I just don't know what to do anymore I'm

    considering a divorce I can't stand my husband kids he has 3 when we first met I respected them . but the more I get to see them the worst they get. I have my own son which my husband was there for him ever since he was born . he treats my son like crap even tho he was there for...
    mommaxof2 mommaxof2 26-30, F 3 Responses Mar 31

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    I wish every woman considering marrying a man

    w/kids would read these personal stories first, not that they'd listen... the situation is unnatural and set up for failure. not every stepmom is wicked, not every kid is a brat, but when put into these relationships, it's what you end up with most of the time. I think men...
    amydextrous1 amydextrous1 41-45, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    I think my marriage is over.

    I have been married to my husband for three years, but we have been together almost 11 years. His son is 10 years old, and honestly I have never tried to have a relationship with him like I should have. I have been in his life since he was born, but I was only 20 and didn't...
    tjones44 tjones44 31-35, F 7 Responses Jul 31, 2014

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    I know this will annoy many,

    but one of my biggest peeves is husband KNEW my daughter and I were health nut vegetarians when we met- told me he tried it for a while, would love for he and his daughter to eat better. fast forward almost 10 years, I'm consistant, his kid brings home fast food w a giant soda...
    amydextrous1 amydextrous1 41-45, F 5 hrs ago

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    i am so happy i found this group i can totally

    relate to many of these story's, and glad i have some place to vent!!!!
    mariebkn3 mariebkn3 22-25, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    Attention Stepmom's: Put yourself first.

    I recently left my husband this week after 10 years of marriage. I was unhappy with the conditions of our home and how he never held his kids accountable for doing their chores and cleaning up after themselves, not considering my feelings, using me financially to support his...
    Februarychic Februarychic 31-35, F 7 Responses Oct 15, 2014

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    feel like a succubus in an emotional vampire

    lair. I realize now was married for what I have and what I can get done, more than who I am. I feel so very used and emotionally manipulated. Here goes another day
    amydextrous1 amydextrous1 41-45, F 2 Responses Apr 9

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    Today I'm having a bit of a low day.

    Am feeling that my husband is slipping a bit as in not making his kids stick to our rules. They drop the ball and he just makes a remark about it but doesn't follow through in making them actually do it. That's like a slippery road downwards and means life at home gets more...
    makingimpossiblepossible makingimpossiblepossible 41-45, F 10 Responses Feb 23, 2014

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    I am a mom of 3 ages 22-19-16,

    I am also a step mom of a 24 and 18 year old. The only one that now lives with us is the 18 year old who doesn't have a job was signed out of school last year by his dad with only 4 credits and no license. He has gotten tickets for truancy and drive without a license. He is...
    heartbrokeninwisc heartbrokeninwisc 41-45, F 3 Responses Mar 23

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    Don't Get Involved With A Man With Kids

    I got involved with a man about 5 years ago that has two children ages 10 and 14.  I was warned by everybody how hard it was. I told myself as long as I have my own life I would be able to handle it. The truth is, there is no room for you when it comes to dating a man with...
    dfilbert dfilbert 36-40, F 92 Responses Oct 25, 2009

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    Personal conclusions: This is an unnatural

    family dynamic. 1. if kids live w/dad full time, generally (not always) there is something wrong with mom. strike one against kids being well adjusted. 2. when kids are forced to try to fit into a "new" family, the house Is usually ruled by the woman, therefore, they feel like...
    amydextrous1 amydextrous1 41-45, F 2 Responses Apr 6

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    poojibp poojibp 18-21, F 4 Responses Mar 18

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    I met my husband while he was in the military

    thousands of miles away from his ex-wife and any parental responsibilities. The idea of being a stepmom didn't bother me; perhaps I was naive. We soon had a child of our own and, once he had completed his military duty, we moved back to his home state. There were never any...
    RealityJoke RealityJoke 31-35, F 5 Responses May 15, 2014

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    I think my time has come to say goodbye to my

    "family". been so sad about the mess it will make then I realized its really never been my mess to fix. it was his nd he dumped it all in my lap.
    back2livin back2livin 51-55, F 3 Responses Apr 13

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    This is to all the women out there,

    never never never ever ever married a man with kid/kids!!!!! His kid/kids will aways come first before anything else, it doesn't matter who's at fault. You will not win a losing battle. Please, I beg you to think twice or more before you say yes. Also, no one will listen to...
    Teardrop1001 Teardrop1001 31-35, F 7 Responses Jan 19, 2014

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    I feel compelled to tell you my story.

    I am a step-daughter who made life very hard for my step-mom. I hated her, well not her exactly, I hated my dads partner. As I matured I began to appreciate how much she loves my dad, the things she did for my siblings and I, and the important role she plays in our family. I...
    bannaj bannaj 31-35, F 3 Responses Aug 2, 2014

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    A while back I denounced my ugly title

    "step-mom" and enforced my new much fonder title of "Daddys' wife" Along with that I relinquished all the duties and chores that were bestowed unto me....much much happier and peaceful place. ..I now share this following prayer to all the "steps" still out there fighting these...
    Maylissa Maylissa 41-45 1 Response Dec 17, 2014

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    it really annoys me that a mother can have kids,

    and then dont wanna take care of them!!!! like you had kids like every other women TAKE CARE OF YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES!!!!! sorry just venting #parttimemoms
    mariebkn3 mariebkn3 22-25, F 1 Response 6 hrs ago

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    I am sure my story is similar to many on this

    blog. I am a step mom and have been for about three years. When I was first introduced to my husband he had his girls every weekend. They were not well behaved at all. I didn't concern myself with it too much unless they were with me. They were rude and disrespectful to their...
    bettylou1212 bettylou1212 41-45, F 5 Responses Nov 27, 2014

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    Hi wonder if anyone can help me,

    i have been with my partner over 2 years and we have our own home together, he has a little girl and we all have a great relationship. We have her on a routine of one over night stay one week and 3 the next however when his ex decides he can have her more he just does it without...
    carol27c carol27c 26-30, F 3 Responses Apr 10

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    Because I'm Canadian,

    this coming Monday is a fairly new Statutory holiday... "Family Day." What was going through the minds of our trusted MPs when they decided to give us a day off in the middle of cold, snowy, February to spend cooped up with our "families" mustn't have their step-children on this...
    Gracey0079 Gracey0079 36-40, F 3 Responses Feb 12

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    My husband and I have been together

    for 8 years and 8 months married. He has a 9 year old daughter that I constantly find my self feeling second to. His priority is always her need first and foremost. We have her every weekend with no break , I work all week and on the weekends I have to deal with her and her...
    mleiva05 mleiva05 26-30, F 4 Responses Mar 20

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    I am a step mother to 11 yr girl & 12 yr boy.

    They live with us full time. I have only one piece of advice....People with under aged children should NOT remarry. They should wait until they raise their children.
    back2livin back2livin 51-55, F 5 Responses Mar 17

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    Maybe I shouldn't post in this experience.

    I don't hate being a stepmom. Not anymore anyway. I don't hate being a stepmom because I am OVER being a stepmom. The "children" are now 38 and 35 and no more considerate or respectful of me than when I married their father 32 years ago. These "children" don't mind stepping...
    sueselala sueselala 51-55, F 3 Responses Jan 13

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    So hello ladies I am back,

    I was here about three years ago when everything was kinda getting out of control, we struggled through a very bad time and almost got divorced, but I love my husband, not so much his children. Nothing really changed the last three years, at some stages it even got worse, like...
    annelie7 annelie7 41-45 4 Responses Apr 10

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    Women That Aren't Stepmoms Could Never Understand...

    I know that I should've known what I was getting into. At first it was ok. I honestly thought I could handle it & make a better life for my stepchildren. I couldn't understand how these stepmoms could feel the way they did. I was judgemental, I admit. I had no clue as to what it...
    455cargirl 455cargirl 36-40, F 18 Responses Jan 22, 2012

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    Searching these posts

    for help winning back my wife. I have failed my my wife. It took an entire year for me to be able to admit that or even see it. For the last year it's been "my wife is selfish" or "my wife is unreasonable." But it was me. I'm selfish. I failed her and I pray I can get her back...
    TonyM323 TonyM323 36-40, M 8 Responses Sep 23, 2014

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    thank you for Ur words.

    it's good to know people understand
    back2livin back2livin 51-55, F Apr 14

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    Being a stepmother has got to be the most

    difficult, thankless task there is. My husband and I have been together for 7 years. His daughter is now 11, and we have two small children together. Fortunately, we only have the step every other weekend, holidays, and 4 weeks in the summer. Believe me, though, it's enough. I...
    Cabanacay79 Cabanacay79 36-40, F 4 Responses 6 days ago

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    I am new to being a step mom

    and concerned about the toll it is taking on my recent marriage. I am very sure in my desire to remain childless, to focus on my career and enjoy my freedom. I thought I could handle the stepkids every other weekend, but it's becoming apparent that not only can't I handle it...
    mlm121 mlm121 31-35, F 6 Responses Mar 29

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    UPDATE! We won!!! court yesterday went better

    than I could've imagined. the judge basically laughed the ex wife out of court saying there was no basis for the order of protection. within 5 minutes of leaving, the oldest daughter called my husband, with her mom in the background of course, saying he lied on the stand. he...
    janean2008 janean2008 22-25, F 2 Responses Feb 13

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    It's getting to the point

    that I'd rather raise foster kids than step kids. Probably the same problems but at least I would feel like I was helping someone have a better life.
    Februarychic Februarychic 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 9, 2014

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