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I Hate Being a Stepmom

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 768 People

    Don't Get Involved With A Man With Kids

    I got involved with a man about 5 years ago that has two children ages 10 and 14.  I was warned by everybody how hard it was. I told myself as long as I have my own life I would be able to handle it. The truth is, there is no room for you when it comes to dating a man with...
    dfilbert dfilbert 36-40, F 89 Responses Oct 25, 2009

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    After another couple grand

    for a lawyer - I am overwhelmed with the situation with the ex & children! I do really "hate" being a "stepmom!" My boyfriend was with a woman with 3 children who all had different dads. He had a child with her, not knowing if it was his. When it was confirmed the child was...
    patientlove patientlove 22-25 1 Response Feb 7

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    Well, I'm glad I found this site.

    .... It's comforting to know that all around the nation I'm not the only one, even tho I feel like it, who has issues with being a step mother. It's true it is definitely a different type of situation that I did not EVER see my self in. I've been married for all most 5 years...
    alcvs alcvs 26-30, F 4 Responses Jan 17

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    I Hate My Stepson

    I have always hated kids. I started casually seeing a guy that I knew had a kid, but I thought it wasn't going to go anywhere. It turned out that we had so much in common that we eventually were talking about moving in together. I had decided that I wasn't going to let an...
    deleted deleted 26-30 41 Responses Mar 5, 2011

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    This is to all the women out there,

    never never never ever ever married a man with kid/kids!!!!! His kid/kids will aways come first before anything else, it doesn't matter who's at fault. You will not win a losing battle. Please, I beg you to think twice or more before you say yes. Also, no one will listen to...
    Teardrop1001 Teardrop1001 31-35, F 7 Responses Jan 19, 2014

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    Searching these posts

    for help winning back my wife. I have failed my my wife. It took an entire year for me to be able to admit that or even see it. For the last year it's been "my wife is selfish" or "my wife is unreasonable." But it was me. I'm selfish. I failed her and I pray I can get her back...
    TonyM323 TonyM323 36-40, M 8 Responses Sep 23, 2014

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    I've tried and tried

    and tried again! I just had a baby, but when the kid is here I work my rear off to make sure she has everything she needs including a healthy dinner. The dinner part is hard because bio mom lets her eat whatever she wants - pancakes for dinner, ramen, fried chicken, and gas...
    MargeSimpson31 MargeSimpson31 31-35, F 3 Responses Dec 18, 2014

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    Unappreciated And Fed Up...

    I was curious if anyone else ever feels like I do? My husband was my high school sweet heart, we broke up, both married other people and ended up divorced. During that time he had 2 children with sorry-but a piece of white trash who decided drugs were more important and left them...
    Paige1234 Paige1234 26-30, F 23 Responses Jan 6, 2010

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    Stressed Out

    I have been married for a little over a yr and my husband has a 9 yr old daughter from a previous marriage. It has been difficult for me. I was always used to being alone and doing my own thing but I know too that she was used to just having her dad. My issue is that she will not...
    blackcat35 blackcat35 31-35 6 Responses Oct 29, 2010

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    Can anyone tell me if things change

    for the better or should I cut my losses now and get out????
    heartbrokeninwisc heartbrokeninwisc 41-45, F 5 Responses Mar 23

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    My husband and I have been together

    for 8 years and 8 months married. He has a 9 year old daughter that I constantly find my self feeling second to. His priority is always her need first and foremost. We have her every weekend with no break , I work all week and on the weekends I have to deal with her and her...
    mleiva05 mleiva05 26-30, F 4 Responses Mar 20

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    What I hate overall about being a "step parent"

    is the fact that all I really equate to is a wallet.
    sobackwards sobackwards 31-35, F 4 Responses Apr 5, 2014

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    I really hate being a stepmom.

    ..which knowing me you would find so hard to believe. Due to having endometriosis and losing the only baby I ever conceived to a miscarriage caused by a hard fall on icy steps I have always loved and longed for kids. When my husband and I met I adored his 3 kids and went way...
    Maylissa Maylissa 41-45 3 Responses Dec 15, 2014

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    I just don't know what to do anymore I'm

    considering a divorce I can't stand my husband kids he has 3 when we first met I respected them . but the more I get to see them the worst they get. I have my own son which my husband was there for him ever since he was born . he treats my son like crap even tho he was there for...
    mommaxof2 mommaxof2 26-30, F 2 Responses 19 hrs ago

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    I am new to being a step mom

    and concerned about the toll it is taking on my recent marriage. I am very sure in my desire to remain childless, to focus on my career and enjoy my freedom. I thought I could handle the stepkids every other weekend, but it's becoming apparent that not only can't I handle it...
    mlm121 mlm121 31-35, F 4 Responses 2 days ago

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    Holy Moly. Things in the stepmom world just

    keep getting worse. I'll tell you about my situation. I'm engaged, and my fiancé has an 8 year old daughter. Him and his ex girlfriend have been split since their daughter was 1, but have maintained a co-parenting relationship. I met him when his daughter was 6. We've recently...
    Honest89 Honest89 22-25, F 1 Response Jan 4

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    This is a bit lengthy .

    I had to unburden my mind before I break down. Am sooo overwhelmed, discouraged and confused right now. I met a wonderful guy about two and half years ago through a mutual friend( we are now married with a one year old) when we met, he told me he had an 18 month old son with...
    soujourner82 soujourner82 31-35, F 6 Responses Jan 21

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    poojibp poojibp 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 18

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    Maybe I shouldn't post in this experience.

    I don't hate being a stepmom. Not anymore anyway. I don't hate being a stepmom because I am OVER being a stepmom. The "children" are now 38 and 35 and no more considerate or respectful of me than when I married their father 32 years ago. These "children" don't mind stepping...
    sueselala sueselala 51-55, F 3 Responses Jan 13

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    I met my husband while he was in the military

    thousands of miles away from his ex-wife and any parental responsibilities. The idea of being a stepmom didn't bother me; perhaps I was naive. We soon had a child of our own and, once he had completed his military duty, we moved back to his home state. There were never any...
    RealityJoke RealityJoke 31-35, F 5 Responses May 15, 2014

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    Attention Stepmom's: Put yourself first.

    I recently left my husband this week after 10 years of marriage. I was unhappy with the conditions of our home and how he never held his kids accountable for doing their chores and cleaning up after themselves, not considering my feelings, using me financially to support his...
    Februarychic Februarychic 31-35, F 7 Responses Oct 15, 2014

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    I married a man about 6 months ago with three

    children ages 8, 13 and 15. I am a childless 35 year old who had wanted to have kids of my own until my experience with these children. Their mother will do absolutely anything and everything to poison her children's minds about me and their father while my husband is a great...
    chichimom chichimom 31-35, F 7 Responses Mar 9

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    Before I start, please know I try to do all I

    can to be a great mom to my SD. I am involved with her school/ activities, homework, I take her places, make her meals, buy her clothes when needed, etc. but, 85% of the time I hate it. When I first met my husband she was a great girl. She was very sweet and my husband took...
    MargeSimpson31 MargeSimpson31 31-35, F 4 Responses Aug 29, 2014

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    I think being a step-parent is one of the most

    difficult things to deal with. My husband has 3 grown children. I was naive in thinking that things would get better once they were adults, but OH NO....it doesn't. They are disrespectful and users. They only call him when they want something, are always trying to move back...
    Oddusername Oddusername 36-40, F 1 Response Jan 2

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    I think being a step-parent is one of the most

    difficult things to deal with. My husband has 3 grown children. I was naive in thinking that things would get better once they were adults, but OH NO....it doesn't. They are disrespectful and users. They only call him when they want something, are always trying to move back...
    Oddusername Oddusername 36-40, F 1 Response Jan 2

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    I married a wonderful man.

    .. with baggage. He has four daughters and a step daughter that he has cared for since she was very young. His ex is as crazy as they get. She has ordered a restraining order on my husband and me numerous times. Since I am a schoolteacher and he is a police officer, it looks...
    Steppedontoomanytimes Steppedontoomanytimes 41-45, F 6 Responses May 24, 2014

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    In the end, it all boils down to loyalty

    and respect. I've been having a bad couple of weeks. I have four kids and my husband has three. My older two are grown and out on their own, my two younger kids live with us full time and we get his sons every other weekend, Wednesdays and split up holidays/summer vacations...
    Swedishfishaddict Swedishfishaddict 41-45, F 3 Responses Jan 8

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    Women That Aren't Stepmoms Could Never Understand...

    I know that I should've known what I was getting into. At first it was ok. I honestly thought I could handle it & make a better life for my stepchildren. I couldn't understand how these stepmoms could feel the way they did. I was judgemental, I admit. I had no clue as to what it...
    455cargirl 455cargirl 36-40, F 17 Responses Jan 22, 2012

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    I Want My Old Life Back

    I have so much anger built up inside of me that I don't know when I will explode or who will be there when it happens, but I need to express my anger issues at my life situation right now. Where do I start....I met my boyfriend 3 years ago when I was young and single and loving...
    Katie1979 Katie1979 26-30 78 Responses Apr 28, 2009

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    As caretakers we feel

    that love and attention can fix anything but sometimes that's not true. I would try therapy if you really want to try to keep things together.
    back2livin back2livin 51-55, F 3 Responses Mar 17

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    Today I'm having a bit of a low day.

    Am feeling that my husband is slipping a bit as in not making his kids stick to our rules. They drop the ball and he just makes a remark about it but doesn't follow through in making them actually do it. That's like a slippery road downwards and means life at home gets more...
    makingimpossiblepossible makingimpossiblepossible 41-45, F 10 Responses Feb 23, 2014

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    Because I'm Canadian,

    this coming Monday is a fairly new Statutory holiday... "Family Day." What was going through the minds of our trusted MPs when they decided to give us a day off in the middle of cold, snowy, February to spend cooped up with our "families" mustn't have their step-children on this...
    Gracey0079 Gracey0079 36-40, F 3 Responses Feb 12

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    I just married my husband in November of 2014.

    Before we married I knew he had 2 kids but we broke up for about four months and in that four months, he got the kids mother pregnant AGAIN!! What do I do??? I married him anyway. Now I think that's the worst decision I made in my whole life!!! Now my husband has a 9yr old, 3yr...
    hurtstepmom hurtstepmom 31-35, F 18 Responses May 13, 2014

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    It's getting to the point

    that I'd rather raise foster kids than step kids. Probably the same problems but at least I would feel like I was helping someone have a better life.
    Februarychic Februarychic 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 9, 2014

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    So my step kids are 3

    and 1 both have different mothers and live with them. I am not allowed to see them but my husband goes to visit them regularly. I feel as though I am in the way. I also hate that I am not a part of their lives. It's all a different world from me. Am I wrong to feel this way? It...
    poojibp poojibp 18-21, F 4 Responses Feb 22

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    I am a mom of 3 ages 22-19-16,

    I am also a step mom of a 24 and 18 year old. The only one that now lives with us is the 18 year old who doesn't have a job was signed out of school last year by his dad with only 4 credits and no license. He has gotten tickets for truancy and drive without a license. He is...
    heartbrokeninwisc heartbrokeninwisc 41-45, F 3 Responses Mar 23

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    A while back I denounced my ugly title

    "step-mom" and enforced my new much fonder title of "Daddys' wife" Along with that I relinquished all the duties and chores that were bestowed unto me....much much happier and peaceful place. ..I now share this following prayer to all the "steps" still out there fighting these...
    Maylissa Maylissa 41-45 1 Response Dec 17, 2014

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    I am sure my story is similar to many on this

    blog. I am a step mom and have been for about three years. When I was first introduced to my husband he had his girls every weekend. They were not well behaved at all. I didn't concern myself with it too much unless they were with me. They were rude and disrespectful to their...
    bettylou1212 bettylou1212 41-45, F 5 Responses Nov 27, 2014

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    I am a step mother to 11 yr girl & 12 yr boy.

    They live with us full time. I have only one piece of advice....People with under aged children should NOT remarry. They should wait until they raise their children.
    back2livin back2livin 51-55, F 3 Responses Mar 17

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    Like all of you I hate being a stepmom.

    My husband and I have been together for 4 years and have two children together. He also has a daughter who is 12 with a woman he only dated when he was 20, got her pregnant, and were never together after she was born. We only have her every other weekend, if that, but every time...
    2Loves1Hate 2Loves1Hate 26-30, F 3 Responses Dec 21, 2014

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    My husband and I have been married 2 years

    and together 5. He has 2 kids, 9 & 11, both boys. When we got together, they lived an hour away from me. We got them on the weekends and a month during the summer and I had a little bond with them (not much). A year into being together, the bio mom moved in with girl friend...
    stepmom429 stepmom429 26-30, F 1 Response Dec 29, 2014

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    I think being a step-parent is one of the most

    difficult things to deal with. My husband has 3 grown children. I was naive in thinking that things would get better once they were adults, but OH NO....it doesn't. They are disrespectful and users. They only call him when they want something, are always trying to move back...
    Oddusername Oddusername 36-40, F Jan 2

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    I hate it. they're lovely kids

    but I can't deal with it. I feel jealous of the attention my partner gives them. They constantly talk about their mum. I don't want to be the stepmother at their weddings and birthday party's etc. I can't deal with it and know I need to leave my partner and be with someone I can...
    lnicolem lnicolem 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 23

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    Why I Will Never Date A Guy With Kids Again

    Ladies please, please, don't just walk ...run!! I’ve just come out of another ‘Man with baggage’ relationship –Never again will I put myself through this. I am talking from experience. I am 30+, attractive, professional woman on a positive path and working hard to get a...
    angellight7 angellight7 31-35, F 12 Responses May 20, 2013

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    I am a stepmom of a girl age 13,

    been for a little over a year. I hate it. When I see her all i see is my husband (her dad) old wife and old life. We have a real daughter that is 4 and I hate the stepdaughter. She can be so rude, and bitchy. I hate that we do family things and she is there. I hate family photos...
    StepmomLife StepmomLife 26-30, F 7 Responses 4 days ago

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    I feel compelled to tell you my story.

    I am a step-daughter who made life very hard for my step-mom. I hated her, well not her exactly, I hated my dads partner. As I matured I began to appreciate how much she loves my dad, the things she did for my siblings and I, and the important role she plays in our family. I...
    bannaj bannaj 31-35, F 3 Responses Aug 2, 2014

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