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I Hate Being a Stepmom

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 907 People

    Attention Stepmom's: Put yourself first.

    I recently left my husband this week after 10 years of marriage. I was unhappy with the conditions of our home and how he never held his kids accountable for doing their chores and cleaning up after themselves, not considering my feelings, using me financially to support his...
    Februarychic Februarychic 31-35, F 7 Responses Oct 15, 2014

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    Hey everyone I'm new here.

    I have no children of my own, but I am engaged to someone with three daughters. We have been together for more than 6 years. He has three daughters who are now 12 yrs old, 10 yrs old, and 7 yrs old. Over the years I have always been close with them and tried to be a significant...
    stepmom2be1990 stepmom2be1990 22-25, F 4 Responses Jul 30

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    What Did I Get Myself Into

    I got married 6 months ago to an incredible man, really he is the best. Only there's one problem, the only cause of stress in our relationship, the only reason we ever argue-his 2 kids from a previous marriage. I hate being home when they are here. I try to be normal and pretend...
    Marie2424 Marie2424 26-30, F 8 Responses Nov 20, 2013

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    Anyone who knows my story knows we haven't seen

    SD in over 3mos. Things are just A LOT smoother, I'm not considering divorce twice a week and kids are happy... Anyway husband has had NOcontact at all, we pay support and that's it. Anyway, my stepfather apparently told my mom that my husband is a "pos" for "abandoning" his...
    MommyToMine MommyToMine 31-35, F 6 Responses Jul 27

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    I Want My Old Life Back

    I have so much anger built up inside of me that I don't know when I will explode or who will be there when it happens, but I need to express my anger issues at my life situation right now. Where do I start....I met my boyfriend 3 years ago when I was young and single and loving...
    Katie1979 Katie1979 26-30 79 Responses Apr 28, 2009

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    Saturday morning where are you?

    ? Almost done with my summer "duties." I was meant to do a lot of great things but being a step mother is not one of them!
    MommyToMine MommyToMine 31-35, F 1 Response Jul 29

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    I need to get this off my chest.

    I'm so annoyed with SS10! So the rule for him in my house is when you wake up: Take a shower (doing it right and not just stand there) Get dressed Make bed Eat breakfast Floss and brush teeth 2 mins then put toothbrush in toothbrush holder not on counter. Then u can do whatever...
    AgatorW AgatorW 26-30, F 2 Responses Jul 26

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    This is going to be very long winded

    and I'm posting this because I need to vent and need to know who else is going through something similar and how they're handling it. Here goes... My husband and I have been married a year. He has a 7 yo son. Soon to be 8. I never thought I'd get involved with someone who has a...
    Kristy37 Kristy37 36-40, F 9 Responses Jun 30

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    First, I would like to say

    that I wish I had found this group prior to even getting involved with a man with kids!!! I would have ran so fast the other way. I'm 36...I have a professional career in the medical field and I also have an MBA. I came into my current marriage with one child, he is 6 and is...
    Dddsss123 Dddsss123 36-40 3 Responses Jun 22

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    Why I Will Never Date A Guy With Kids Again

    Ladies please, please, don't just walk ...run!! I’ve just come out of another ‘Man with baggage’ relationship –Never again will I put myself through this. I am talking from experience. I am 30+, attractive, professional woman on a positive path and working hard to get a...
    angellight7 angellight7 36-40, F 11 Responses May 20, 2013

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    I have decided that's it ok to admit I can't

    handle this situation. I did not gain a partner when I married this man, but just another child to be responsible for. His kids are bad enough but they learn from their parents. Started the ball rolling to secure employment in my home state/hometown area. Finances will suck, but...
    rrthompson rrthompson 46-50, F Aug 2

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    Because I'm Canadian,

    this coming Monday is a fairly new Statutory holiday... "Family Day." What was going through the minds of our trusted MPs when they decided to give us a day off in the middle of cold, snowy, February to spend cooped up with our "families" mustn't have their step-children on this...
    Gracey0079 Gracey0079 36-40, F 3 Responses Feb 12

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    This is to all the women out there,

    never never never ever ever married a man with kid/kids!!!!! His kid/kids will aways come first before anything else, it doesn't matter who's at fault. You will not win a losing battle. Please, I beg you to think twice or more before you say yes. Also, no one will listen to...
    Teardrop1001 Teardrop1001 31-35, F 6 Responses Jan 19, 2014

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    I just found this group from a google search

    and need some people who understand what I'm going through! I am a 22 year old college student. I dated my now husband for two years before we got married and he has two kids with his ex wife. 8 year old girl and 5 year old boy. I knew what I was getting into dating a man who...
    aarnett11 aarnett11 22-25, F 2 Responses Aug 11

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    My previous post sheds light into why

    but what im seeking now is what to di...is it worth it?! I was a single mom for over 7yrs& i really honestly MISS it so bad! Am i only one? I miss running a calm& relaxed household& i miss the special one of a kind bond w my kids u only get as a single mom. And single motherhood...
    mammamialove mammamialove 26-30, F 3 Responses Jul 22

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    I am recently engaged to the perfect guy

    for me. The only problem is his "daughter". My fiance was involved with a woman prior to our relationship for several years and during that time the woman decided to take guardianship of her cousin's daughter since she wasn't fit to be a mother. Once she took guardianship of...
    Gabbie2487 Gabbie2487 36-40, F 5 Responses Aug 24

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    Hello I'm new but I really do need advice.

    I never thought I'd be a stepmom and I hate being one. I dated a guy and already knew he had a daughter from a previous relationship. He is my second boyfriend and after my first boyfriend who had no kids I thought I'd give it a try. After 3 months I couldn't do it, it wasn't...
    AsianBlonde AsianBlonde 22-25, F 3 Responses Jul 30

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    SK all gone for a week & gone out of state too!

    Can I get a Yippee!? That means no SK, no SD boyfriend & no SD boyfriend's dog! Woo Hoo!! :) I just may dance in the street!
    rrthompson rrthompson 46-50, F 2 Responses Aug 4

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    Again, SK mom calls & asks husband

    if kids can come over (after county fair & rodeo) so she can go out. Meaning: she's looking for a man for the night, or for however long it takes. Once again, he gives the ok without talking to me first! Hello? Invisible wife here??!! I confronted him about this, like many times...
    rrthompson rrthompson 46-50, F 2 Responses Jul 28

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    Maybe I shouldn't post in this experience.

    I don't hate being a stepmom. Not anymore anyway. I don't hate being a stepmom because I am OVER being a stepmom. The "children" are now 38 and 35 and no more considerate or respectful of me than when I married their father 32 years ago. These "children" don't mind stepping...
    sueselala sueselala 51-55, F 4 Responses Jan 13

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    I'm having a hard time adjusting back into the

    'norm' of having ss14 and ss17 being back home w/us after having a much needed break for abt 5-6 days. I feel so depressed that it almost feels like someone close to me has died. I've lived w/my man & his 2 teenage sons for approximately a yr & a half. In that time, we've had...
    FrauleinAsh FrauleinAsh 31-35, F 1 Response Aug 24

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    I feel compelled to tell you my story.

    I am a step-daughter who made life very hard for my step-mom. I hated her, well not her exactly, I hated my dads partner. As I matured I began to appreciate how much she loves my dad, the things she did for my siblings and I, and the important role she plays in our family. I...
    bannaj bannaj 31-35, F 5 Responses Aug 2, 2014

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    Don't Get Involved With A Man With Kids

    I got involved with a man about 5 years ago that has two children ages 10 and 14.  I was warned by everybody how hard it was. I told myself as long as I have my own life I would be able to handle it. The truth is, there is no room for you when it comes to dating a man with...
    dfilbert dfilbert 36-40, F 102 Responses Oct 25, 2009

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    I married a wonderful man.

    .. with baggage. He has four daughters and a step daughter that he has cared for since she was very young. His ex is as crazy as they get. She has ordered a restraining order on my husband and me numerous times. Since I am a schoolteacher and he is a police officer, it looks...
    Steppedontoomanytimes Steppedontoomanytimes 41-45, F 6 Responses May 24, 2014

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    So I am trying to figure out with my SD mother

    don't understand. She asked us to register my SD in our school district because she moved districts and this new district requires their kids to walk versus our has buses. My SD was in our district but she went to another school. Well I call the district when she asked and they...
    kthomas12 kthomas12 31-35, F 1 Response Jul 28

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    I used to think I could make it work

    but not anymore. I could never imagine living with people who basically hate me but this is reality. I did nothing to truly cause it. Why are people so hateful?
    NotSoPerfect777 NotSoPerfect777 41-45, F 7 Responses May 16

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    What I hate overall about being a "step parent"

    is the fact that all I really equate to is a wallet.
    sobackwards sobackwards 31-35, F 5 Responses Apr 5, 2014

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    I think my marriage is over.

    I have been married to my husband for three years, but we have been together almost 11 years. His son is 10 years old, and honestly I have never tried to have a relationship with him like I should have. I have been in his life since he was born, but I was only 20 and didn't...
    tjones44 tjones44 31-35, F 8 Responses Jul 31, 2014

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    I'd hate being a step mom If I ended up in

    such an unlucky position. That's why I don't date someone with extra baggage from a previous relationship. The Mommy drama. The Kid coming along almost everywhere you want to meet up. Even when you made clear you want nothing to do with the kids raising or helping out you still...
    FrostyElsie FrostyElsie 22-25, F 3 Responses Jul 25

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    Women That Aren't Stepmoms Could Never Understand...

    I know that I should've known what I was getting into. At first it was ok. I honestly thought I could handle it & make a better life for my stepchildren. I couldn't understand how these stepmoms could feel the way they did. I was judgemental, I admit. I had no clue as to what it...
    455cargirl 455cargirl 36-40, F 19 Responses Jan 22, 2012

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    It's hard enough being a part time stepmom,

    but it's absolutely frustrating and at times unbearable being a full time stepmom to two teens. And when husband doesn't follow through with his kids and the rules. I'm sick of being the full time "Mom" to kids that aren't mine. Sometimes I feel bad that I don't want all the...
    Februarychic Februarychic 31-35, F 3 Responses Aug 1

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    Teenage step kids have been watching wrestling

    all day while my husband and I work and our two boys are at daycare and school. Dishes are overflowing from the sink, and trash too. I put my youngest son to bed and turned out the lights as they were still watching tv and they turn the kitchen light back on for no reason and...
    Februarychic Februarychic 31-35, F 2 Responses Aug 13

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    Step son (17) gets away with everything

    and I am the evil one for pointing a few things out.... for instance...brushes his teeth and smears the tooth paste all over the mirror and the sink...EVERY time he gets reminded of brushing his teeth....there are only 3 people living in this house and Mr. asks me...how do you...
    Mtume777 Mtume777 46-50, F 4 Responses Aug 14

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    Well, SS14 has decided to live here throughout

    high school. But he first has to repeat the 8th grade. Back to school shopping starts soon and of course his mother isn't going to help at all with uniforms or school supplies. I have the responsibility of picking him up from school this year, but I told my husband that I will...
    Februarychic Februarychic 31-35, F 2 Responses Jul 18

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    So my mom listens to my rants.

    .. She says being a step mom is like having company that just doesn't go home. It's annoying. You can't truly be yourself. Your space is gone. Your family as you know it and like it to be is altered.... You want to scream times up...
    MommyToMine MommyToMine 31-35, F 5 Responses Jun 23

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    I told him I will not be in a home

    where kids are allowed to be on guest status. " I know, I know, I will get it done (insert day here). Which comes and goes. The house is a mess, so let him deal with it.
    Stuckinthis Stuckinthis 41-45, F 1 Response Aug 24

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    My grandma was a widow with seven children.

    My grandpa was a widower with fourteen children. They had three girls together (my mom and her sisters). Their days took place in the 1940s...in a little country somewhere in southeast Asia. My mom was 5 when grandpa passed away. Mom never talk much about grandma's life...
    momstermom momstermom 36-40, F 2 Responses Aug 14

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    I hate being a stepmom!

    I am tired of wasting my life and time raising someone else's child. I sit in the house all day bc I had to be available to babysit when his daughter got here. I missed a whole day with my family at the pool bc I had to wait around for her. Then when she gets here she pouts bc I...
    amlesa amlesa 26-30, F 4 Responses Jul 26

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    Today I am angry! Very angry.

    Almost too angry to talk...if you could believe that. I am furious at my husband because besides the birth of my son, being married to him has cost me too much. I angry at his daughter because she is the catalyst for every single dramaful unhappy aspect of my life right now...
    Wisdomswisdom Wisdomswisdom 36-40, F 4 Responses May 20

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    I'm so glad I've found this!

    I've felt like such a horrible person and held so,much in for so long! Me and my husband have been together for 4 years, married for 2. He had a daughter when I came around and it was okay at first. Then I got pregnant and we got married. I've been "mom" for about 3 years.she's...
    Whattodo19 Whattodo19 22-25, F 4 Responses Aug 22

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    Is it 8am Monday yet?

    ! Seriously cannot stand this child.
    MommyToMine MommyToMine 31-35, F 4 Responses Feb 14

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    "I'm not your drop-in sitter" "I'm not your

    babysitter or nanny" "This boy has a mom who has rights and responsibilities, make her do more!" I've had it! I yelled these things at my husband. He constantly wants to use me as the free daycare service while the bio mom does whatever she wants! I'm tired of it. When I say no...
    Niceandcold Niceandcold 26-30, F 3 Responses Jul 9

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    I have been a stepmom to two boys,

    who are now 6 and 10 for nearly four years now. I have my own biodaughter who is 12 and awesome. Neither my husband nor I look forward to our weekends with the skids, but we both enjoy my daughter's company. To give a little insight, my husband left the skids mom as she was...
    whydopeoplelie whydopeoplelie 31-35 1 Response Jul 16

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    Ugh!! I swear every weekend my ss10 is here.

    . He's BAD! I can't take it anymore! I'm miserable! I hate it! Who showers and doesn't wash their hair with shampoo? Who showers and doesn't wash their body with soap? What the hell. It annoys me so much that he can't do these simple things. Why should I care? Why should I go out...
    AgatorW AgatorW 26-30, F 2 Responses Aug 16

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    Im srry, I gotta get this out.

    .. I'm so jealous of the hundreds of ppl on these stepparent forums that whine and cry and feel srry for themselves bcuz they despise their skids when they come ovr... *every other weekend*!! I'm just so BITTER. I feel like there are only 5ppl in the ENTIRE galaxy that have...
    FrauleinAsh FrauleinAsh 31-35, F 5 Responses Aug 24

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    I just hate having a SK.

    I never wanted children and when my husband and I married he promised me he would never have anything to do with his child. He wasthe product of a one night stand before we met. That changed and now I have to help take care of a child that isn't mine and never will be. I have to...
    pookie71 pookie71 41-45