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I Hate Being a Stepmom

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 870 People

    Why I Will Never Date A Guy With Kids Again

    Ladies please, please, don't just walk ...run!! I’ve just come out of another ‘Man with baggage’ relationship –Never again will I put myself through this. I am talking from experience. I am 30+, attractive, professional woman on a positive path and working hard to get a...
    angellight7 angellight7 31-35, F 11 Responses May 20, 2013

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    So my mom listens to my rants.

    .. She says being a step mom is like having company that just doesn't go home. It's annoying. You can't truly be yourself. Your space is gone. Your family as you know it and like it to be is altered.... You want to scream times up...
    MommyToMine MommyToMine 31-35, F 5 Responses Jun 23

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    Raising a child that isn't your own.

    Such fun! When things get tough, there are no sweet memories of them being cute because you weren't around for that part. No biological love to fall back on. I'm so sick of it all. 7 years and I'm thinking of throwing in the towel. She'll be 14 in June so pretty sure it's not...
    Countrychicky Countrychicky 26-30 3 Responses Apr 10, 2014

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    I am a newly wed, and my husband has three kids

    (11yrs, 2 yrs, 11 months) with two other women. I have a 2 yr old from a previous relationship (whose "real" dad has never been involved) and am currently 31 weeks pregnant with mine and my husbands first child together. Before I got pregnant, things between me and my husbands...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Jul 1

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    Saturday morning where are you?

    ? Almost done with my summer "duties." I was meant to do a lot of great things but being a step mother is not one of them!
    MommyToMine MommyToMine 31-35, F 1 Response 4 hrs ago

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    nothing but peace and quiet

    for a month. I have had no complaints. but she comes back saturday. nothing has changed. guess I'd beer start stockpiling boxes. I'm out.
    amydextrous1 amydextrous1 41-45, F 3 Responses Jul 9

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    Searching these posts

    for help winning back my wife. I have failed my my wife. It took an entire year for me to be able to admit that or even see it. For the last year it's been "my wife is selfish" or "my wife is unreasonable." But it was me. I'm selfish. I failed her and I pray I can get her back...
    TonyM323 TonyM323 36-40, M 8 Responses Sep 23, 2014

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    I am done. Today for the second time I refused

    to go to my step sons t ball. Why you may ask. I am tired of standing awkwardly on the edges while bio mom and her family swarm mine. My husband becomes lost in six + people, and I am left to watch my daughters pine for bio moms attention. I refuse to be in this competition...
    Wzv63w Wzv63w 26-30, F 1 Response Jul 7

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    I never asked to be a stepmom

    or have this girl in my family, it might sound harsh but i don't see her as part of the family and i hate having her in MY home
    StepmomLife StepmomLife 26-30, F 3 Responses Jun 18

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    Have any of you asked your husband

    for a paternity test? I'm seriously questioning whether the SKID is my husband's child.
    Stepmom212 Stepmom212 31-35, F 4 Responses Jul 12

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    I have been a stepmom to two boys,

    who are now 6 and 10 for nearly four years now. I have my own biodaughter who is 12 and awesome. Neither my husband nor I look forward to our weekends with the skids, but we both enjoy my daughter's company. To give a little insight, my husband left the skids mom as she was...
    whydopeoplelie whydopeoplelie 31-35 1 Response Jul 16

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    so my 2 yr old ss likes to hit

    or stick his tongue out at my daughter. all dad does is say no stop. little boy can care less. I told him a little spank might help. he won't do it so I have told my daughter to hit him back when he does it. I'm fed up!!
    deejaymum deejaymum 26-30, F 1 Response Jul 9

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    What Did I Get Myself Into

    I got married 6 months ago to an incredible man, really he is the best. Only there's one problem, the only cause of stress in our relationship, the only reason we ever argue-his 2 kids from a previous marriage. I hate being home when they are here. I try to be normal and pretend...
    Marie2424 Marie2424 26-30, F 8 Responses Nov 20, 2013

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    I'd hate being a step mom If I ended up in

    such an unlucky position. That's why I don't date someone with extra baggage from a previous relationship. The Mommy drama. The Kid coming along almost everywhere you want to meet up. Even when you made clear you want nothing to do with the kids raising or helping out you still...
    FrostyElsie FrostyElsie 22-25, F 3 Responses 4 days ago

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    I think my marriage is over.

    I have been married to my husband for three years, but we have been together almost 11 years. His son is 10 years old, and honestly I have never tried to have a relationship with him like I should have. I have been in his life since he was born, but I was only 20 and didn't...
    tjones44 tjones44 31-35, F 8 Responses Jul 31, 2014

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    It's getting to the point

    that I'd rather raise foster kids than step kids. Probably the same problems but at least I would feel like I was helping someone have a better life.
    Februarychic Februarychic 31-35, F 3 Responses Apr 9, 2014

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    This is going to be very long winded

    and I'm posting this because I need to vent and need to know who else is going through something similar and how they're handling it. Here goes... My husband and I have been married a year. He has a 7 yo son. Soon to be 8. I never thought I'd get involved with someone who has a...
    Kristy37 Kristy37 36-40, F 8 Responses Jun 30

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    Because I'm Canadian,

    this coming Monday is a fairly new Statutory holiday... "Family Day." What was going through the minds of our trusted MPs when they decided to give us a day off in the middle of cold, snowy, February to spend cooped up with our "families" mustn't have their step-children on this...
    Gracey0079 Gracey0079 36-40, F 3 Responses Feb 12

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    it really annoys me that a mother can have kids,

    and then dont wanna take care of them!!!! like you had kids like every other women TAKE CARE OF YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES!!!!! sorry just venting #parttimemoms
    mariebkn3 mariebkn3 22-25, F 3 Responses Apr 26

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    So me and my husband,

    my two daughters, and my cousin went to Memphis over the holiday weekend. My step daughter didn't go due to her behavior. So my daughter and cousin was snap chatting the whole trip(that's what tweens and teens do). My SD sent my daughter a message saying she didn't like seeing...
    kthomas12 kthomas12 31-35, F 1 Response Jul 8

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    So much has happened

    since I last wrote. To summarize, we reduced visitation by 1 day, got a restraining order against BM, she has subsequently violated it so we're headed back to court next month, and after discovering some interesting facts, I'm questioning whether this child is even my husband's...
    Stepmom212 Stepmom212 31-35, F 3 Responses Jul 9

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    My dad keeps telling me to hang in there,

    sister tells me life's too short, & I deserve better. UGH! I can't put into words what I'm feeling exactly. Disappointment, frustration, anger are at the top, but there's more to it. Trapped is a good one I guess. Used, ignored, bullied qualify. And Just plain exhausted.
    rrthompson rrthompson 46-50, F 4 Responses Jul 2

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    me and my partner are due to get married soon

    and I love him with my whole heart he means the world to me but his daughter on the other hand I have no feelings for when he talks about her I feel blank I couldn't care less if I didn't see her again and that's a horrible thing to say but it's true. there is no dissapline she...
    zoel66 zoel66 22-25, F 5 Responses Jul 6

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    Reading all of these stories has alleviated a

    lot of the guilt I've been feeling lately. So, here goes. I've been in a relationship for one year and seven months. I knew going in that he had a mess of kids with his ex wife, but they were all in her custody and never visited. He seemed perfectly fine with it. Well, last...
    InquisitiveGem85 InquisitiveGem85 26-30, F 3 Responses Jul 2

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    I married a wonderful man.

    .. with baggage. He has four daughters and a step daughter that he has cared for since she was very young. His ex is as crazy as they get. She has ordered a restraining order on my husband and me numerous times. Since I am a schoolteacher and he is a police officer, it looks...
    Steppedontoomanytimes Steppedontoomanytimes 41-45, F 6 Responses May 24, 2014

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    Women That Aren't Stepmoms Could Never Understand...

    I know that I should've known what I was getting into. At first it was ok. I honestly thought I could handle it & make a better life for my stepchildren. I couldn't understand how these stepmoms could feel the way they did. I was judgemental, I admit. I had no clue as to what it...
    455cargirl 455cargirl 36-40, F 19 Responses Jan 22, 2012

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    Attention Stepmom's: Put yourself first.

    I recently left my husband this week after 10 years of marriage. I was unhappy with the conditions of our home and how he never held his kids accountable for doing their chores and cleaning up after themselves, not considering my feelings, using me financially to support his...
    Februarychic Februarychic 31-35, F 7 Responses Oct 15, 2014

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    I feel compelled to tell you my story.

    I am a step-daughter who made life very hard for my step-mom. I hated her, well not her exactly, I hated my dads partner. As I matured I began to appreciate how much she loves my dad, the things she did for my siblings and I, and the important role she plays in our family. I...
    bannaj bannaj 31-35, F 5 Responses Aug 2, 2014

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    I am 29, I have 2 daughters 4

    and 7. my fiance has 2 kids a 2yr old boy and an 8 year old daughter. is anyone else in a blended family? I have a hard time with his 2 yr old especially, he's still in diapers, has a speech delay and is so bratty he loves to bug the girls. he just gets ony nerves sometime I...
    deejaymum deejaymum 26-30, F 4 Responses Jul 9

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    I've been married now 11 years.

    I have 3 stepdaughters. My husbands ex wife is a lying, lazy, hateful psychopath. She has been on a never ending crusade to alienate the girls from us. She told the girls that our state has step parenting laws that say I can not involve myself in any discipline. My step...
    nolookingback nolookingback 46-50, F 2 Responses Jul 12

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    So here's a quick bit of humor.

    .. We're on vacation... Husband throwing kids around in pool (7 & 8) ss14 gets mopey so husband picks up SS (who's taller than my husband) and throws him up about a foot and SS laughs and giggles like a 5 year old... I'm like really...
    MommyToMine MommyToMine 31-35, F Jul 18

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    Am I really that bad of a person

    for not wanting to do things with my SD's. I've had so much hurt and pain caused by them and they are such Debbie Downers everything is always wrong or bad. I know this happens as kids get older but I don't want to take a vacation with them. I am affected by them, I've...
    frecks6 frecks6 31-35, F 2 Responses Jul 2

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    Today I am angry! Very angry.

    Almost too angry to talk...if you could believe that. I am furious at my husband because besides the birth of my son, being married to him has cost me too much. I angry at his daughter because she is the catalyst for every single dramaful unhappy aspect of my life right now...
    Wisdomswisdom Wisdomswisdom 36-40, F 4 Responses May 20

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    Is it just me or are loads of (young) people

    just signing up to attack what you wrote just for the fun of it?? Some haven't even read through the whole story and based their opinion on the first 3 sentences. People really don't have to agree with what I write but just leaving a comment calling me names or a bad person...
    makingimpossiblepossible makingimpossiblepossible 41-45, F 4 Responses Mar 21, 2014

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    Ok Here we go again with the madness of my SD.

    She called my husband yesterday to tell on my daughter about posting pics of our trip to Memphis. My husband told her she cant get mad at someone having fun if you are not there. She started crying and said she wants to talk to everyone. I told my husband she cant talk to my...
    kthomas12 kthomas12 31-35, F Jul 10

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    I hate being a stepmom!

    I am tired of wasting my life and time raising someone else's child. I sit in the house all day bc I had to be available to babysit when his daughter got here. I missed a whole day with my family at the pool bc I had to wait around for her. Then when she gets here she pouts bc I...
    amlesa amlesa 26-30, F 4 Responses 3 days ago

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    So my husband just recently found out he has a

    daughter that is three going on four from a one night stand! We have a daughter together also she just turned two :) but this whole thing has me going crazy! I feel guilty for feeling this way. It was just me him and our daughter and all of a sudden...boom we have another...
    msours4 msours4 26-30, F 12 Responses Jun 25

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    What I hate overall about being a "step parent"

    is the fact that all I really equate to is a wallet.
    sobackwards sobackwards 31-35, F 4 Responses Apr 5, 2014

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    Ok, This is my first post

    and i really need good non judgmental advice from woman who have been there....I really want my family to work, I really love my husband..we have been married a little over 3 years now (together 4).. i have DS10 SD10 SS9 and our DD2. DS and SD actually get along really well (not...
    mammamialove mammamialove 26-30, F 5 Responses Jul 15

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    "I'm not your drop-in sitter" "I'm not your

    babysitter or nanny" "This boy has a mom who has rights and responsibilities, make her do more!" I've had it! I yelled these things at my husband. He constantly wants to use me as the free daycare service while the bio mom does whatever she wants! I'm tired of it. When I say no...
    Niceandcold Niceandcold 26-30, F 3 Responses Jul 9

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    This is to all the women out there,

    never never never ever ever married a man with kid/kids!!!!! His kid/kids will aways come first before anything else, it doesn't matter who's at fault. You will not win a losing battle. Please, I beg you to think twice or more before you say yes. Also, no one will listen to...
    Teardrop1001 Teardrop1001 31-35, F 7 Responses Jan 19, 2014

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    I used to think I could make it work

    but not anymore. I could never imagine living with people who basically hate me but this is reality. I did nothing to truly cause it. Why are people so hateful?
    NotSoPerfect777 NotSoPerfect777 41-45, F 7 Responses May 16

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    Don't Get Involved With A Man With Kids

    I got involved with a man about 5 years ago that has two children ages 10 and 14.  I was warned by everybody how hard it was. I told myself as long as I have my own life I would be able to handle it. The truth is, there is no room for you when it comes to dating a man with...
    dfilbert dfilbert 36-40, F 97 Responses Oct 25, 2009

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    well I don't know how to feel.

    yesterday my husband took his daughter to the movies because she can't come back here until she goes to counseling. I think it's a great idea but I asked how it was and he acting like he didn't want to tell me. I know next time I won't even ask.
    kthomas12 kthomas12 31-35, F 3 Responses Jul 2

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    Well, SS14 has decided to live here throughout

    high school. But he first has to repeat the 8th grade. Back to school shopping starts soon and of course his mother isn't going to help at all with uniforms or school supplies. I have the responsibility of picking him up from school this year, but I told my husband that I will...
    Februarychic Februarychic 31-35, F 2 Responses Jul 18

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    Hey everyone..I wrote last week about hating

    being a step mom. I read through a lot of forums and could relate with other women out there. There's no hard & fast rules as everyone's experience, albeit similar at times, is unique. Through it all, I came to realise that my hating being a step mom was down to the fact...
    lorir1975 lorir1975 36-40, F 5 Responses Feb 11, 2014

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