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I Hate Being a Stepmom

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 615 People

    I can't say I hate it,

    but it sure has its moments! I brought a nearly grown up boy to my relationship who was moving off to university so essentially we were empty nesters (his kids every two weeks) until all hell broke loose. His oldest went off to university and had a psychotic breakdown. She...
    Ctch Ctch 51-55 1 Response Apr 24

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    I just married my husband in November of 2014.

    Before we married I knew he had 2 kids but we broke up for about four months and in that four months, he got the kids mother pregnant AGAIN!! What do I do??? I married him anyway. Now I think that's the worst decision I made in my whole life!!! Now my husband has a 9yr old, 3yr...
    hurtstepmom hurtstepmom 31-35, F 17 Responses May 13

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    I HATE being a stepmom to adult stepchildren.

    My stepchildren were raised by their biological mom to be the most selfish, prideful kids I've ever met! These kids constantly don't care about their father's feelings and were raised to let their evil biological mom rule the entire family. We attended my stepson's graduation...
    Rachel3737 Rachel3737 41-45, F 3 Responses Jun 15

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    People ask why I hate being a step mother.

    I hate it for many reasons. I hate it because for the first time ever I have found a child I truly do not care about at all anymore, I have put in so so so much effort and have quite honestly got to the point of not giving a d****. I hate it because I have to hear about her and...
    stephell13 stephell13 22-25, F 3 Responses May 30

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    Stepdaughter is constantly asking

    for something. Recently she asked me to bake sweet potato pies for a school festival. I told her I would but I need her to help out around the house more. She knows what her chores are but does not do them anymore. I also explained that if I ask her to change her little brother...
    Februarychic Februarychic 31-35, F 1 Response May 4

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    Raising a child that isn't your own.

    Such fun! When things get tough, there are no sweet memories of them being cute because you weren't around for that part. No biological love to fall back on. I'm so sick of it all. 7 years and I'm thinking of throwing in the towel. She'll be 14 in June so pretty sure it's not...
    Countrychicky Countrychicky 26-30 3 Responses Apr 10

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    So I just really need to get this off my chest

    as it is taboo to mention such things anywhere else! I hate being a stepmom!! Yes I hate it... I didn't say I hate my step kids... I hate being a stepmom! I've been reading around and I think my situation is somewhat unique so I'd love to hear from any one who is going through...
    Unleashedmind Unleashedmind 22-25, F 5 Responses Jul 6

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    Most stepmom's get a break from their step kids.

    Not in my case. I was just informed that Stepson's mother will not be getting him at all for the summer. So, this will be more than a year since she's seen him. She hasn't seen Stepdaughter in over 2 years now. I just need a break from being their long term substitute. I'm...
    Februarychic Februarychic 31-35, F 5 Responses Apr 21

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    Unappreciated And Fed Up...

    I was curious if anyone else ever feels like I do? My husband was my high school sweet heart, we broke up, both married other people and ended up divorced. During that time he had 2 children with sorry-but a piece of white trash who decided drugs were more important and left them...
    Paige1234 Paige1234 26-30, F 23 Responses Jan 6, 2010

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    Is it just me or are loads of (young) people

    just signing up to attack what you wrote just for the fun of it?? Some haven't even read through the whole story and based their opinion on the first 3 sentences. People really don't have to agree with what I write but just leaving a comment calling me names or a bad person...
    makingimpossiblepossible makingimpossiblepossible 36-40, F 3 Responses Mar 21

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    Grrr. Experience project logged me out of my

    profile and forgot my login so had to make new account! Grrr
    stephell13 stephell13 22-25, F 2 Responses May 30

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    Did anyone read the stepmom poem I posted?

    It's on my profile experiences, but don't click on the link. What do you think of it?
    Februarychic Februarychic 31-35, F 1 Response Apr 2

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    I actually love my three step children.

    While I struggle with the youngest at times because she's ADHD and she is terrible at listening for a 5 year old, I feel pretty happy when they are around. What I feel like I didn't sign up for was the baby mama drama. The way these women treat me (2 moms) is at times...
    Sassynchic Sassynchic 31-35, F 5 Responses May 4

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    Today I'm having a bit of a low day.

    Am feeling that my husband is slipping a bit as in not making his kids stick to our rules. They drop the ball and he just makes a remark about it but doesn't follow through in making them actually do it. That's like a slippery road downwards and means life at home gets more...
    makingimpossiblepossible makingimpossiblepossible 36-40, F 11 Responses Feb 23

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    The ex has been cyber stalking again.

    I wish I knew what I did to make this woman hate me so much. The relationship had been over for two years when I met my husband. This woman has broken into my house, called my work and accused me of being a danger to her child, among other things. Sometimes I wish I could...
    Sassynchic Sassynchic 31-35, F 5 Responses May 8

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    I Want My Old Life Back

    I have so much anger built up inside of me that I don't know when I will explode or who will be there when it happens, but I need to express my anger issues at my life situation right now. Where do I start....I met my boyfriend 3 years ago when I was young and single and loving...
    Katie1979 Katie1979 26-30 74 Responses Apr 28, 2009

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    This is to all the women out there,

    never never never ever ever married a man with kid/kids!!!!! His kid/kids will aways come first before anything else, it doesn't matter who's at fault. You will not win a losing battle. Please, I beg you to think twice or more before you say yes. Also, no one will listen to...
    Teardrop1001 Teardrop1001 31-35, F 6 Responses Jan 19

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    I married a wonderful man.

    .. with baggage. He has four daughters and a step daughter that he has cared for since she was very young. His ex is as crazy as they get. She has ordered a restraining order on my husband and me numerous times. Since I am a schoolteacher and he is a police officer, it looks...
    Steppedontoomanytimes Steppedontoomanytimes 41-45, F 5 Responses May 24

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    Hey everyone..I wrote last week about hating

    being a step mom. I read through a lot of forums and could relate with other women out there. There's no hard & fast rules as everyone's experience, albeit similar at times, is unique. Through it all, I came to realise that my hating being a step mom was down to the fact...
    lorir1975 lorir1975 36-40, F 5 Responses Feb 11

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    My stepson (not court-ordered) is here Tue,

    Thu and every other Friday/Saturday. I so wish we could have a normal visitation schedule. It's like I can't just "be" for more than 1 day at a time. I've shared my thoughts with my husband but he won't budge; he just gives me the "but he's my son" story. (I actually think he...
    Stepmom212 Stepmom212 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 22

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    I Hate My Stepson

    I have always hated kids. I started casually seeing a guy that I knew had a kid, but I thought it wasn't going to go anywhere. It turned out that we had so much in common that we eventually were talking about moving in together. I had decided that I wasn't going to let an...
    deleted deleted 26-30 38 Responses Mar 5, 2011

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    What I hate overall about being a "step parent"

    is the fact that all I really equate to is a wallet.
    sobackwards sobackwards 31-35, F 4 Responses Apr 5

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    I'm a single mom of an 11th grader.

    I met the most wonderful guy who happens to be a father of 3. He has a 19, 15, & 12 year old. The 19 year old lives on her own. This guy proposed to me after 6 months. We have not married yet but have been together for 2 years. We plan to get married this summer & in order to...
    stepmominpgh stepmominpgh 36-40, F 10 Responses Mar 16

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    Insanity

    Hello! I am new to this. I have been searching for some sort of outlet/place to vent for awhile. I am glad to see that on here it seems I won't be judged nearly as harshly as other places I have read. This will be a long one, but I'm looking for some honest feedback and advice...
    hermanbonkers1 hermanbonkers1 26-30, F 6 Responses Apr 16, 2013

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    It's getting to the point

    that I'd rather raise foster kids than step kids. Probably the same problems but at least I would feel like I was helping someone have a better life.
    Februarychic Februarychic 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 9

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    I met my husband while he was in the military

    thousands of miles away from his ex-wife and any parental responsibilities. The idea of being a stepmom didn't bother me; perhaps I was naive. We soon had a child of our own and, once he had completed his military duty, we moved back to his home state. There were never any...
    RealityJoke RealityJoke 31-35, F 4 Responses May 15

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    It's been 10 years that I've been a stepmom.

    Stepson is 13 years old and has lived with us full time for the past four years. What has he learned? Absolutely nothing. His attitude is awful, his hygiene is horrible. He doesn't care. Won't take a shower for days and has a medical condition where he soils his pants from not...
    Februarychic Februarychic 31-35, F 3 Responses Jun 13

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    What Did I Get Myself Into

    I got married 6 months ago to an incredible man, really he is the best. Only there's one problem, the only cause of stress in our relationship, the only reason we ever argue-his 2 kids from a previous marriage. I hate being home when they are here. I try to be normal and pretend...
    Marie2424 Marie2424 26-30, F 7 Responses Nov 20, 2013

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    It Never Ends

    I have been a stepmother for over 20 years. The darlings were 7 and 14 when we met. When the biological Mother has significant issues (despite being remarried herself) in encouraging relationships, the destruction of both the original stepchildren and now grandchildren will...
    20plusyears 20plusyears 41-45 5 Responses Jun 27, 2013

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    Why I Will Never Date A Guy With Kids Again

    Ladies please, please, don't just walk ...run!! I’ve just come out of another ‘Man with baggage’ relationship –Never again will I put myself through this. I am talking from experience. I am 30+, attractive, professional woman on a positive path and working hard to get a...
    angellight7 angellight7 31-35, F 11 Responses May 20, 2013

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    So sd10 was here this weekend.

    First weekend since we moved. Again she drove me insane!! From the minute we picked her up she had an attitude problem. Probably cause she doesn't get her own way or all the attention seen as we have a 9 month old baby. She moped and sulked all weekend. Wouldn't talk to me and...
    angelfallen13 angelfallen13 22-25, F 2 Responses Apr 7

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    I just feel like I'm going through the motions.

    It has come to the point where I don't even want to be in the same room with them. I am always their taxi for after school events and weekends when SD wants to go somewhere with friends. We don't even speak in the car anymore and she constantly posts negative things about me on...
    Februarychic Februarychic 31-35, F 7 Responses Mar 30

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    So. I had a discussion with my step son's

    school counselor. I'm worked on a lesson plan for the summer to get him caught up in reading. It's a little stressful knowing I'm going to be mom and tutor, but I couldn't get a tutor and these no summer school here. While she helped me get his assessments to know where he's...
    Sassynchic Sassynchic 31-35, F 2 Responses Jun 6

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    I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend

    for 7 months. I moved in with him many states away and choose to leave my daughter behind with my parents so I could settle down. Since I've been here though I thought I could be a good step mom to his daughter who is almost two. However within these I've realized how bitter I...
    gracepinkham gracepinkham 18-21, F 4 Responses Apr 17

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    I love my stepkids, but I hate their mom(Who

    doesn't, I guess? :P). She is a drunk and she is miserable and wants everyone around her to be miserable. Last night she called the kids (sd-9 ss-8) and started crying on the phone saying she missed them. SS handed my SO the phone because he didn't know what to say and I could...
    justtakestime justtakestime 26-30, F 2 Responses Jul 3

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    Here I go again. Love is

    such a powerful feeling. I need confirmation that I'm doing the right thing by someone who has/is experiencing the same thing. Let me start by saying that I'm a single mom of a 16 yr old. I own my home. I have a graduate degree & am extremely career driven. Life WAS good for me...
    stepmominpgh stepmominpgh 36-40, F 7 Responses May 27

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    Women That Aren't Stepmoms Could Never Understand...

    I know that I should've known what I was getting into. At first it was ok. I honestly thought I could handle it & make a better life for my stepchildren. I couldn't understand how these stepmoms could feel the way they did. I was judgemental, I admit. I had no clue as to what it...
    455cargirl 455cargirl 36-40, F 16 Responses Jan 22, 2012

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    Don't Get Involved With A Man With Kids

    I got involved with a man about 5 years ago that has two children ages 10 and 14.  I was warned by everybody how hard it was. I told myself as long as I have my own life I would be able to handle it. The truth is, there is no room for you when it comes to dating a man with...
    dfilbert dfilbert 36-40, F 79 Responses Oct 25, 2009

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    Stressed Out

    I have been married for a little over a yr and my husband has a 9 yr old daughter from a previous marriage. It has been difficult for me. I was always used to being alone and doing my own thing but I know too that she was used to just having her dad. My issue is that she will not...
    blackcat35 blackcat35 31-35 6 Responses Oct 29, 2010

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    Thank goodness I thought I was the only one!

    I dated my fiancé for a year when we were 19 flash forward 10 years later and we got reconnected but during that time he had 3 kids. It was great to rekindle our romance and the thought of a 5 year old and 2 year old twins sounded like a cute love story. Boy was I wrong! What I...
    Walkedinblind Walkedinblind 31-35, F 3 Responses Apr 9

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    My husband and I live in Jamaica,

    I have moved there with him from Canada and he has two kids living there with their mom, sometimes they come visit. We live in an extremely small place and I work from home, we have very limited financial means. I have tried to be nice to these kids and actually get along well...
    crystalc1973 crystalc1973 36-40, F 1 Response Apr 20

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    I've scanned through several stories,

    most of which I can relate to. I too, hate being a "stepmom". I'm more of a glorified babysitter every other weekend/holiday. Ya know, the minimal parenting plan because that's what the bio mom wanted even though it's 50/50 joint legal/physical custody, it makes no sense. Living...
    JustMe2209 JustMe2209 31-35, F 3 Responses Mar 18

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    Freedom

    Hi there. I browsed so many of the stories here and each one had a similar thread: the sadness, disappointment and even despair associated with being a stepmom. My husband and I married ten years ago. He has 4 kids and I have 2. In that time I left him twice- we damned near didn...
    Wickedskids Wickedskids 41-45, F 10 Responses Jul 26, 2012

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    It's almost Easter and of course-

    as with every holiday, we have to work OUR plans around BIO Mom's. It was easier when kids were little- it was in parenting plan . Now that kids are in their 20's- we get to wait and find out when and I'd kids will be available. Heavy Sigh. I told my husband for once we need to...
    HollyCharbo HollyCharbo 46-50 2 Responses Apr 12

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    My 10 year old stepson has made horrible grades

    all year, and his behavior has been horrible as well. He doesn't care that he makes bad grades and I honestly think it's because his parents don't have any consequences for the bad grades. His mom will say he's on punishment but the next day he's back to doing all the things...
    tjones44 tjones44 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 28

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    My now husband and I only dated

    for 13 months prior to getting engaged. We were married 10 months later and have now been married 4 months. While our marriage is great, every other weekend TENSION-CITY! His 9 year old boy, who is a product of a trap set for him after coming home on leave from the army, is a...
    IDidntAskForThis IDidntAskForThis 26-30, F 3 Responses Mar 13

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    No Credit

    The thing I hate most about being the stepmom is that I do everthing and never get any credit . For example my oldest stepdaughter just graduated from high school and her mother came down from Texas and took all the credit for how well her daughter turned out . It hurts because...
    wendy1972 wendy1972 36-40, F 11 Responses Jun 5, 2012

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    Problem Solved - Maybe?

    We may be moving across the country!! So, I'm in my early 30's and have lived in other states and abroad throughout my 20's. That said, I LOVE new experiences and travel. My husband may be taking a job in another state and this would be a HUGE relief for us and our marriage...
    Stepmom212 Stepmom212 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 30

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    I am so glad that I came to this website.

    It has made me feel so much better about my feelings. Let me start from the beginning. When I met my hub he said he had 2 kids. After a couple of months and me becoming prego, he informed me that he just found out his ex-wife was 9mth pregs and about to deliver and some how he...
    madimom madimom 26-30, F 3 Responses Jan 10

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    I need more control in my life.

    Being a stepmom and having my husbands children live with us full time and not being able to have my house the way I would like is frustrating . The kids all contribute to the mess in the house but don't clean up after themselves like they are supposed to. It has been my rule...
    Februarychic Februarychic 31-35, F 3 Responses Jun 28

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