I Hate Being a Stepmom

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,043 People

    Why I Will Never Date A Guy With Kids Again

    Ladies please, please, don't just walk ...run!! I’ve just come out of another ‘Man with baggage’ relationship –Never again will I put myself through this. I am talking from experience. I am 30+, attractive, professional woman on a positive path and working hard to get a...
    angellight7 angellight7
    36-40, F
    12 Responses May 20, 2013

    Anyone else get super annoyed with SS brags

    about mommy every damn day? That's all I hear every time the kid comes over. Mommy's fav color, mommy's fav song, mommy bought him this, mommy bought him that, mommy says this. UGHHHH I can't. It annoys my bf too because he will tell him to stop talking about mommy. But...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    5 Responses Feb 4

    Ever since we got full custody of my 10y old SD

    a little bit over a month ago life has been a roller coaster... Me and her used to be very close, and we still are but she has been giving me more and more attitude when I ask her to do something or when I tell her something. Little bit of background: we won full custody a bit...
    HiltonG HiltonG
    22-25, F
    Apr 19

    After 10 years of providing love,

    support, money, care, kindness, humor, clothes, food, and a good home for my step kids, I finally gave up on them. They just keep kicking me in the head, and as much as I tried to help them become contributing members of society, they turned out like their bio mother - conniving...
    WickedVagabond WickedVagabond
    36-40
    2 Responses Dec 13, 2015

    Don't Get Involved With A Man With Kids

    I got involved with a man about 5 years ago that has two children ages 10 and 14.  I was warned by everybody how hard it was. I told myself as long as I have my own life I would be able to handle it. The truth is, there is no room for you when it comes to dating a man with...
    dfilbert dfilbert
    36-40, F
    108 Responses Oct 25, 2009

    So here I am, married to a guy with two

    children. We've been together for over 2 years and married for 6 months. I love his children but I am getting tired... Because of one specific reason.... When we first met and basically up till after we married, he wanted to have another child. He had a vasectomy and we were...
    HiltonG HiltonG
    22-25, F
    4 Responses Apr 1

    Today I am angry! Very angry.

    Almost too angry to talk...if you could believe that. I am furious at my husband because besides the birth of my son, being married to him has cost me too much. I angry at his daughter because she is the catalyst for every single dramaful unhappy aspect of my life right now...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses May 20, 2015

    Recently the 21 year old SD moved back to BM.

    16 year old SS wants the whole bedroom to himself, but our 9 year old girl wants to share the bedroom because it's so huge. I put up a divider and moved her twin bed in there for two weeks now. A couple nights ago, she had a nightmare and came crying in the middle of the night...
    Fellapart Fellapart
    36-40, F
    2 Responses Apr 6

    Being a stepmom everyother weekend has its

    perks. :) I get to help raise a wonderful kid and I still get to have as much of my own life as anyone married at my age can expect. But I am jealous. I cannot stand my step son's lying manipulative mother. I hate coming second. I hate coordinating events with a woman I can't...
    YoungAndBitter YoungAndBitter
    22-25, F
    Apr 20

    So BM is going nuts because she lost every

    single piece of custody she had. We took her to court because she wouldn't get rid of her abusive boyfriend, and we went from 50/50 to 100% custody, with BM only allowed visitations, with supervision max of 2 hours at a time. Me and her were friends for the first two years I was...
    HiltonG HiltonG
    22-25, F
    1 Response Apr 8

    Is it just me or are loads of (young) people

    just signing up to attack what you wrote just for the fun of it?? Some haven't even read through the whole story and based their opinion on the first 3 sentences. People really don't have to agree with what I write but just leaving a comment calling me names or a bad person...
    makingimpossiblepossible makingimpossiblepossible
    41-45, F
    4 Responses Mar 21, 2014

    Do you ever feel like you can't

    even make a suggestion to your husband about his daughter without him becoming defensive? After today, I won't be making anymore suggestions. It's his daughter so he can do what he sees fit and she's almost 18. When do you officially stop being a stepmom? When the step kids move...
    Februarychic Februarychic
    36-40, F
    4 Responses Dec 20, 2015

    I feel compelled to tell you my story.

    I am a step-daughter who made life very hard for my step-mom. I hated her, well not her exactly, I hated my dads partner. As I matured I began to appreciate how much she loves my dad, the things she did for my siblings and I, and the important role she plays in our family. I...
    bannaj bannaj
    31-35, F
    5 Responses Aug 2, 2014

    Im fed up to the fullness of being a stepparent

    I hate every moment of it and wish the question I would've ask first was did you have kids... damn I wish I would've had never married a man with kids
    dns2016 dns2016
    22-25, F
    Mar 9

    "You cannot pour from an empty cup,

    take care of yourself first". Anything that you are doing for another person that is detrimental to your physical and emotional health should not be done. If you've ever taken a flight, you've heard the instructions to secure your own oxygen mask before attempting to help...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Oct 4, 2015

    I'm not officially a step-mom yet

    and before anyone tells me that I shouldn't marry this man...I am going to someday. But...I cannot stand his children. His son, in particular. He is 9 years old and is a menace to society in my opinion. I have 3 kids of my own, he has two. I had my tubes tied so we can...
    mmbvt mmbvt
    36-40, F
    7 Responses Feb 2

    Every time my partner kisses me

    (hello/goodbye/whatever), my YSD (SD5) has suddenly taken to demanding to know why daddy is kissing me. If my partner and I are having a conversation or fixing something around the house, SD7 just stands there supervising us with her big ears flapping. She will start trying to...
    reluctantstepmom reluctantstepmom
    36-40, F
    4 Responses Nov 1, 2015

    It's hard enough being a part time stepmom,

    but it's absolutely frustrating and at times unbearable being a full time stepmom to two teens. And when husband doesn't follow through with his kids and the rules. I'm sick of being the full time "Mom" to kids that aren't mine. Sometimes I feel bad that I don't want all the...
    Februarychic Februarychic
    36-40, F
    3 Responses Aug 1, 2015

    so I'm dating a guy with an 8 yr old

    and it's a very hard situation, I love him so very very much and his kid really is fine, she's a little spoiled but that's the way it is with wealthy grandparents. it's hard because I've never had to deal with a kid before and I'm jealous and resentful that he had a kid. He...
    apink16 apink16
    26-30, F
    1 Response Mar 28

    Worst mistake of my life was

    when I signed the court papers to get married to someone who had two daughters. I've been the bread winner/provider for this family for 8yrs now because he decided to be a lazy lazy bum and works a minimum wage job that he constantly leaves early from. His daughters are now...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Mar 10

    DEAR MAN. YOU MADE CHILDREN,

    YOU WANT CUSTODY. THIS IS YOUR CHILD. ASK YOURSELF I'D YOU WOULD SEEK CUSTODY IF YOU DID NOT HAVE A NEW WIFE. BE HONEST.
    amydextrous1 amydextrous1
    46-50, F
    Jun 16, 2015

    I don't understand why people feel

    that you have to love their children. I feel as though he should be content with the fact that I accept that he has a daughter. The fact that I HAVE to be around her is so miserable. Shes a brat. We've told her so many times to not come over here talking about her mother, cause...
    Jaymarie1008 Jaymarie1008
    22-25, F
    5 Responses Feb 4

    Today's quote "when writing the story of your

    life, don't let someone else hold the pen." This is your life, you have to live it, dont let people who are not in your shoes, who are not dealing with what you are dealing with try and dictate how you should live, react or be. Choose YOU! Be true to YOU! It's called YOUr...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Oct 6, 2015

    I need some advice..

    or patience or something. So, if you read my other stories, you'll see everything I'm dealing with. But in short, my bf and his ex share a mutual agreement without the courts to share custody of the kid so we have a schedule that follow. His ex used to live 5 mins from us with...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    8 Responses Feb 8

    I keep thinking that with time,

    my stepdaughter will grow on me, but I still can't stand her. I hate being around her. I hate the fact that she exist. It's so mean, but I have to vent. I mean when I got with him, I knew he had a child, but he's such a great guy that I figured I could try to make it work. But...
    Jaymarie1008 Jaymarie1008
    22-25, F
    4 Responses Jan 19

    I really need to vent,

    especially because I don't have any friends to vent to. They all spread rumors about me and stabbed me in the back 2 years ago. Recently I got married in December, ever since seems like nothing has gone right. I have Fibromyalgia and so i'm constantly in pain. Also my husband...
    Aquamarine221 Aquamarine221
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Mar 13

    Venting again.. So Monday is his daughters

    birthday, now I have no problem with him doing **** with her, but now hes saying he wants me to be apart of it. I'm furious, I don't know how many times I have to explain to him I don't wanna be around her. He's trying to force things & it's ******* me off. I have no problem...
    Jaymarie1008 Jaymarie1008
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Mar 4

    I married a man 9mths ago

    who has a 2yrold step son. We didn't date for long as I'm Christian and wanted to do things properly. At the time I thought he was a good man. Very responsible and caring and I was drawn to him because of how good he was with his son. I enjoyed spending time with his son in the...
    Butterflies2016 Butterflies2016
    36-40, F
    1 Response Mar 23

    Today's quote. "If you allow people to make

    more withdrawals in your life than deposits, your account will be empty or in the negative. Know when to decline transactions." Your life is just as important and as valuable as anyone else's, dont devalue yourself or your quality of living on the account of those who only...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Oct 5, 2015

    Attention Stepmom's: Put yourself first.

    I recently left my husband this week after 10 years of marriage. I was unhappy with the conditions of our home and how he never held his kids accountable for doing their chores and cleaning up after themselves, not considering my feelings, using me financially to support his...
    Februarychic Februarychic
    36-40, F
    6 Responses Oct 15, 2014

    Searching these posts

    for help winning back my wife. I have failed my my wife. It took an entire year for me to be able to admit that or even see it. For the last year it's been "my wife is selfish" or "my wife is unreasonable." But it was me. I'm selfish. I failed her and I pray I can get her back...
    TonyM323 TonyM323
    41-45, M
    7 Responses Sep 23, 2014

    First, I would like to say

    that I wish I had found this group prior to even getting involved with a man with kids!!! I would have ran so fast the other way. I'm 36...I have a professional career in the medical field and I also have an MBA. I came into my current marriage with one child, he is 6 and is...
    Dddsss123 Dddsss123
    36-40
    2 Responses Jun 22, 2015

    When you are counting the hours

    for your step son to go home and your husband says he is trying to keep him here longer...
    Jessicadooley Jessicadooley
    22-25, F
    11 Responses Dec 30, 2015

    ok so this upcoming friday my stepdaughter is

    coming over i dont know how to feel because i have a new born baby now and shes gonna wanna be all in hwr face and i feel im not obligated to this child what should i do ??
    dns2016 dns2016
    22-25, F
    5 Responses Feb 17

    I never planned on having children; I didn't

    pursue a long love interest because he had children; but then I met my husband and felt very differently. I fell in love with him and for the first time, genuinely wanted to develop interest and feelings for his daughter, whose mother is an absentee substance abuser with three...
    CerseiLike613 CerseiLike613
    31-35, F
    1 Response Mar 4

    Oh my god I love you guys!

    !!! after reading a few posts I feel normal!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    frustratedfantasy frustratedfantasy
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Dec 5, 2015

    Today I am extremely thankful!

    !! A year ago this time, I was extremely unhappy because my husband's child was living in my home and was my full responsibility. It was tough, especially since I had just become a first time mom to my little boy. A year later, the lies has stopped, the going up to the school...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    8 Responses Nov 5, 2015

    So my husband just recently found out he has a

    daughter that is three going on four from a one night stand! We have a daughter together also she just turned two :) but this whole thing has me going crazy! I feel guilty for feeling this way. It was just me him and our daughter and all of a sudden...boom we have another...
    msours4 msours4
    26-30, F
    9 Responses Jun 25, 2015

    not sure if love is enough anymore !

    !! my sd is getting married again and my husband is trying to force me to go I really don't want to go i have been to both my step kids wedding and have been broken hearted to the point of having a breakdown i do not know what to do i love my husband and am scared to death to be...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Feb 10

    Hey everyone..I wrote last week about hating

    being a step mom. I read through a lot of forums and could relate with other women out there. There's no hard & fast rules as everyone's experience, albeit similar at times, is unique. Through it all, I came to realise that my hating being a step mom was down to the fact...
    lorir1975 lorir1975
    36-40, F
    4 Responses Feb 11, 2014

    Because I'm Canadian,

    this coming Monday is a fairly new Statutory holiday... "Family Day." What was going through the minds of our trusted MPs when they decided to give us a day off in the middle of cold, snowy, February to spend cooped up with our "families" mustn't have their step-children on this...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Feb 12, 2015

    I have struggled a lot with my SD

    and still do, but I'm honestly fortunate enough to say that my husband has been so loving and so compassionate towards my needs with her lately. It has taken a while but honestly I feel like I did when we first got together. He has been such a great support system for me. She...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Mar 11

    I came across a quote today

    that made me think of my fellow group mates. We try our hardest to make our spouses happy especially when it comes to dealing with their children. We are often criticized, scrutinized, accused, and made to be the scapegoat all while trying to make them happy. However this...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    5 Responses Sep 29, 2015

    I hate to rock the boat

    and make a mess so I sit quietly, agree politely... I feel like a maid!!! I hate this blended family crap!!! Most words that slip out of my mouth has no filter so he throws tantrum. It's not my responsibility to care for someone else's kid. Wish I could escape.
    Fellapart Fellapart
    36-40, F
    1 Response Feb 28

    Let me just say, I have read some of the posts

    here and they are so similar but my stepson is older. He is 20 and my husband needs to get a grip on reality. We have been married for 3 1/2 years and this kid is a pain in the rear. He is a liar, he manipulates his father, he sneaks to get what he wants. I would like to smack...
    stillwondering2016 stillwondering2016
    46-50, F
    2 Responses Mar 22

    Today's quote of the day,

    "If you come for them, you are coming for me and I am not going down without a fight". I have bonded with some of the ladies of this group. I felt like a misfit, a can't get right until a moment of despair led me to google the words "I hate my step daughter". Then I found...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    3 Responses Oct 7, 2015

    I need help I resent my stepkids

    and I want to know what I can do to like them. I can't even tolerate being around them and they are only with us Friday night through Sunday night :(
    serendipity786 serendipity786
    26-30, F
    1 Response Mar 28

    UPDATE: I'm trying so hard right

    now to stay in my room and not have to go to war!!! I'm just sick to my stomach! OK I tried to talk to my husband while the kids were gone, but ugh he's such an a**h***!! I'm trying to talk to him without being scared, without letting him confuse me and without allowing him to...
    jennymike28 jennymike28
    36-40, F
    2 Responses Feb 1

    Sometimes being a stepmom is making me

    so frustrated... I have two stepdaughters aged 7 and 10. The youngest one lives half of the week with us, the oldest one lives full time with us since the past month. I do everything, especially for the oldest.. Her mom isn't in the picture at the moment and my husband isn't...
    HiltonG HiltonG
    22-25, F
    1 Response Apr 14

    This is to all the women out there,

    never never never ever ever married a man with kid/kids!!!!! His kid/kids will aways come first before anything else, it doesn't matter who's at fault. You will not win a losing battle. Please, I beg you to think twice or more before you say yes. Also, no one will listen to...
    Teardrop1001 Teardrop1001
    36-40, F
    6 Responses Jan 19, 2014

    I can't believe I found people

    who feel the same way I do. I don't have children of my own, but married a guy who had two young children. I quickly found out that I was not good at being a mom. We divorced five years later. So, now I'm thinking that if I were ever in another serious relationship, I would not...
    tlfcm tlfcm
    51-55, F
    2 Responses Mar 29

    So at an event for my SD's school my SD decides

    to say I did something wrong. Mind you, I did nothing wrong, she just had a problem with the way I set up a station at the event. She has a full blown melt down, in front of my husband as well as other parents and their children. Blaming me while I've invested over 20k in this...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Feb 7

    It's getting to the point

    that I'd rather raise foster kids than step kids. Probably the same problems but at least I would feel like I was helping someone have a better life.
    Februarychic Februarychic
    36-40, F
    3 Responses Apr 9, 2014

    So do step kids disengage

    before you decide to? Has anyone experienced this? Briefly, I've been a SM for over 8 years. SD is 17 and SS is 10. Both have lived with us full time for the past 3 years. BM barely in picture. SD hates her. I have no issues with SS other than those influenced by SD...
    Ranitscourse Ranitscourse
    41-45, F
    3 Responses Apr 12

    I used to think I could make it work

    but not anymore. I could never imagine living with people who basically hate me but this is reality. I did nothing to truly cause it. Why are people so hateful?
    NotSoPerfect777 NotSoPerfect777
    41-45, F
    6 Responses May 16, 2015

    Can't even come on here & vent cause people

    who are obviously against this group always have something to say. Keep your bitter *** off my post. Like fck you.
    Jaymarie1008 Jaymarie1008
    22-25, F
    1 Response Apr 4

    so ever since my sd hit me i cant let it go.

    .. i look at her and i feel angry.. i feel as though she got away with hitting me evn though my husband supported me the best he could her mother asked what did i do to provoke her..... i am now admitting that i dont like her.. i think shes a spoilt brat who gets away with murder...
    ansell72 ansell72
    41-45, F
    6 Responses Oct 5, 2015

    Ever since we got full custody of my 10y old SD

    a little bit over a month ago life has been a roller coaster... Me and her used to be very close, and we still are but she has been giving me more and more attitude when I ask her to do something or when I tell her something. Little bit of background: we won full custody a bit...
    HiltonG HiltonG
    22-25, F
    Apr 19

    I love my fiancé with all my heart he is

    completely different than the guys I used to date. During the week we do not argue or fight about anything we get along just fine. Then Friday night comes when he gets his kids every weekend we never get a break because he says we don't have them during the week that's our break...
    serendipity786 serendipity786
    26-30, F
    1 Response Apr 3
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