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I Hate Being a Stepmom

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 699 People

    When I met my husband,

    I was hesitant to date a man with kids, but we hit it off and fell in love very quickly. When I met his daughters, then 11 and 7, I loved them. We got along great until we moved in together. These girls were raised having everything handed to them and being completely spoiled...
    thisissohardtotake thisissohardtotake 41-45, F 3 Responses Aug 25

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    I love my stepdaughter very,

    very much. We have a great relationship. My husband and I don't get to see her often, even though she lives mostly with her mom in the same city we do. The city we live in isn't even that big. Anyway, my stepdaughter, who is a young teen, almost very obviously does not consider...
    Grace213 Grace213 22-25, F 2 Responses Dec 10

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    I Want My Old Life Back

    I have so much anger built up inside of me that I don't know when I will explode or who will be there when it happens, but I need to express my anger issues at my life situation right now. Where do I start....I met my boyfriend 3 years ago when I was young and single and loving...
    Katie1979 Katie1979 26-30 78 Responses Apr 28, 2009

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    I am sure my story is similar to many on this

    blog. I am a step mom and have been for about three years. When I was first introduced to my husband he had his girls every weekend. They were not well behaved at all. I didn't concern myself with it too much unless they were with me. They were rude and disrespectful to their...
    bettylou1212 bettylou1212 41-45, F 5 Responses Nov 27

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    Son of my husband has EP Name 'VillaVuka'.

    He is BIG LIAR just like his CRAZY ***** BLACK MOTHER!!! He do not tell the history as happened by LAW! He LIE and LIE and LIE!!!! *If VillaVuka respond say to where you mama and sister reside? No longer in Mainz or Stuttgart?
    Bergenbabe Bergenbabe 36-40, F 1 Response Dec 12

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    Why I Will Never Date A Guy With Kids Again

    Ladies please, please, don't just walk ...run!! I’ve just come out of another ‘Man with baggage’ relationship –Never again will I put myself through this. I am talking from experience. I am 30+, attractive, professional woman on a positive path and working hard to get a...
    angellight7 angellight7 31-35, F 12 Responses May 20, 2013

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    I just married my husband in November of 2014.

    Before we married I knew he had 2 kids but we broke up for about four months and in that four months, he got the kids mother pregnant AGAIN!! What do I do??? I married him anyway. Now I think that's the worst decision I made in my whole life!!! Now my husband has a 9yr old, 3yr...
    hurtstepmom hurtstepmom 31-35, F 18 Responses May 13

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    I married a wonderful man.

    .. with baggage. He has four daughters and a step daughter that he has cared for since she was very young. His ex is as crazy as they get. She has ordered a restraining order on my husband and me numerous times. Since I am a schoolteacher and he is a police officer, it looks...
    Steppedontoomanytimes Steppedontoomanytimes 41-45, F 6 Responses May 24

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    I actually love my three step children.

    While I struggle with the youngest at times because she's ADHD and she is terrible at listening for a 5 year old, I feel pretty happy when they are around. What I feel like I didn't sign up for was the baby mama drama. The way these women treat me (2 moms) is at times...
    Sassynchic Sassynchic 31-35, F 5 Responses May 4

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    This is to all the women out there,

    never never never ever ever married a man with kid/kids!!!!! His kid/kids will aways come first before anything else, it doesn't matter who's at fault. You will not win a losing battle. Please, I beg you to think twice or more before you say yes. Also, no one will listen to...
    Teardrop1001 Teardrop1001 31-35, F 7 Responses Jan 19

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    I am very 'frustrated' with being a stepmom.

    ..im new here, so bear with me:) Been with hubby 5 years now, when we got together, his ex wife moved to another state and stopped contact w kids. They are now 16/boy 12/girl...at that time, i was the fulltime instant mom...for 3 years i was the only maternal figure they had...
    justthechickraisingthem justthechickraisingthem 31-35, F 4 Responses Sep 19

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    I Hate My Stepson

    I have always hated kids. I started casually seeing a guy that I knew had a kid, but I thought it wasn't going to go anywhere. It turned out that we had so much in common that we eventually were talking about moving in together. I had decided that I wasn't going to let an...
    deleted deleted 26-30 41 Responses Mar 5, 2011

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    Omg if only i could turn back time,

    i would never have married my husband and realize that i dont like living with his kids. It was just the two of us when we got married but then eventually both his kids moved in with us. One is an adult, 20 yo. But even though hes been asked to move out, he still hasnt. The...
    missmiserable32 missmiserable32 31-35, F 6 Responses Sep 27

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    I guess this should say it hurts to be a

    stepmom. Stepdaughter is talking to her bio Mom on the phone and telling her everything about school, boys and her first job. Her biomom convinced her to set up some online banking account despite her father talking to her and SD even agreed that it would be best to have access...
    Februarychic Februarychic 31-35, F 2 Responses Sep 7

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    What I hate overall about being a "step parent"

    is the fact that all I really equate to is a wallet.
    sobackwards sobackwards 31-35, F 4 Responses Apr 5

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    I am 21 years old and a college senior

    who plans to apply to medical schools this coming year. This summer after a long, tumultuous relationship, I met my current boyfriend and I fell in love with him because he was different. He was edgy. I have always been raised in a sheltered manner so when my boyfriend came...
    babyxhil babyxhil 18-21, F 5 Responses Oct 29

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    Hey everyone..I wrote last week about hating

    being a step mom. I read through a lot of forums and could relate with other women out there. There's no hard & fast rules as everyone's experience, albeit similar at times, is unique. Through it all, I came to realise that my hating being a step mom was down to the fact...
    lorir1975 lorir1975 36-40, F 5 Responses Feb 11

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    Freedom

    Hi there. I browsed so many of the stories here and each one had a similar thread: the sadness, disappointment and even despair associated with being a stepmom. My husband and I married ten years ago. He has 4 kids and I have 2. In that time I left him twice- we damned near didn...
    Wickedskids Wickedskids 41-45, F 11 Responses Jul 26, 2012

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    I just feel like I'm going through the motions.

    It has come to the point where I don't even want to be in the same room with them. I am always their taxi for after school events and weekends when SD wants to go somewhere with friends. We don't even speak in the car anymore and she constantly posts negative things about me on...
    Februarychic Februarychic 31-35, F 8 Responses Mar 30

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    I really hate being a stepmom.

    ..which knowing me you would find so hard to believe. Due to having endometriosis and losing the only baby I ever conceived to a miscarriage caused by a hard fall on icy steps I have always loved and longed for kids. When my husband and I met I adored his 3 kids and went way...
    Maylissa Maylissa 41-45 2 Responses Dec 15

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    It's getting to the point

    that I'd rather raise foster kids than step kids. Probably the same problems but at least I would feel like I was helping someone have a better life.
    Februarychic Februarychic 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 9

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    Unappreciated And Fed Up...

    I was curious if anyone else ever feels like I do? My husband was my high school sweet heart, we broke up, both married other people and ended up divorced. During that time he had 2 children with sorry-but a piece of white trash who decided drugs were more important and left them...
    Paige1234 Paige1234 26-30, F 23 Responses Jan 6, 2010

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    I met my husband while he was in the military

    thousands of miles away from his ex-wife and any parental responsibilities. The idea of being a stepmom didn't bother me; perhaps I was naive. We soon had a child of our own and, once he had completed his military duty, we moved back to his home state. There were never any...
    RealityJoke RealityJoke 31-35, F 5 Responses May 15

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    I think my marriage is over.

    I have been married to my husband for three years, but we have been together almost 11 years. His son is 10 years old, and honestly I have never tried to have a relationship with him like I should have. I have been in his life since he was born, but I was only 20 and didn't...
    tjones44 tjones44 31-35, F 5 Responses Jul 31

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    When i married my husband i knew he had a 3 yr

    old girl, and i didnt mind because the mother had full custody, and he only saw her 2 times a week. now we have full custody, because her mom "abused of her" thats what the kid said, now that she is spending more time with me i am starting to think that maybe she is the problem...
    desirejanice desirejanice 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 28

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    Attention Stepmom's: Put yourself first.

    I recently left my husband this week after 10 years of marriage. I was unhappy with the conditions of our home and how he never held his kids accountable for doing their chores and cleaning up after themselves, not considering my feelings, using me financially to support his...
    Februarychic Februarychic 31-35, F 7 Responses Oct 15

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    I feel compelled to tell you my story.

    I am a step-daughter who made life very hard for my step-mom. I hated her, well not her exactly, I hated my dads partner. As I matured I began to appreciate how much she loves my dad, the things she did for my siblings and I, and the important role she plays in our family. I...
    bannaj bannaj 31-35, F 3 Responses Aug 2

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    Searching these posts

    for help winning back my wife. I have failed my my wife. It took an entire year for me to be able to admit that or even see it. For the last year it's been "my wife is selfish" or "my wife is unreasonable." But it was me. I'm selfish. I failed her and I pray I can get her back...
    TonyM323 TonyM323 36-40, M 8 Responses Sep 23

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    So...I am just going to do some point forms

    here to give a basis: I cannot combine the past 5 years into one story but as I go I would like to share my experiences and would love advice :) 1. Stepmom with no kids of my own 2. Been living with Dad and my Stepson for 4 years 3. SS is 9 years old 4. Currently my mom has been...
    Deflatedone Deflatedone 36-40, F 4 Responses Sep 9

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    I hate being the last person on his list.

    . Outside of work & the kids - I am last. I'm tired of him getting calls/texts everyday from his ex.. Interrupting anytime I ever get with him or leading the little conversation we have to be about her. I hate being their personal maid. The only one who goes to the store and...
    patientlove patientlove 22-25 4 Responses Oct 11

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    Like all of you I hate being a stepmom.

    My husband and I have been together for 4 years and have two children together. He also has a daughter who is 12 with a woman he only dated when he was 20, got her pregnant, and were never together after she was born. We only have her every other weekend, if that, but every time...
    LisaC617 LisaC617 26-30, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    I've tried and tried

    and tried again! I just had a baby, but when the kid is here I work my rear off to make sure she has everything she needs including a healthy dinner. The dinner part is hard because bio mom lets her eat whatever she wants - pancakes for dinner, ramen, fried chicken, and gas...
    MargeSimpson31 MargeSimpson31 31-35, F 2 Responses a week ago

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    I have my own children

    and I hate being a step mom! I know that doesn't sound right, but that's the way I feel. I met my partner about over a year ago. We've had a rough relationship due to the fact.. we thought we could make it work with everything being rushed. There was no in between time for all...
    Jeshayna Jeshayna 18-21, F 3 Responses Dec 13

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    Today I'm having a bit of a low day.

    Am feeling that my husband is slipping a bit as in not making his kids stick to our rules. They drop the ball and he just makes a remark about it but doesn't follow through in making them actually do it. That's like a slippery road downwards and means life at home gets more...
    makingimpossiblepossible makingimpossiblepossible 41-45, F 10 Responses Feb 23

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    Don't Get Involved With A Man With Kids

    I got involved with a man about 5 years ago that has two children ages 10 and 14.  I was warned by everybody how hard it was. I told myself as long as I have my own life I would be able to handle it. The truth is, there is no room for you when it comes to dating a man with...
    dfilbert dfilbert 36-40, F 86 Responses Oct 25, 2009

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    VillaVuka is BIG LIAR!

    !! He say "Most people get arrested for the first time in their teens for dumb things like Underage Possesions. I was arrested for the first time aged almost 9 along with younger sister(7) and mother back in 2001. We were roused from our sleep thinking a crackhead had kicked in...
    Bergenbabe Bergenbabe 36-40, F Dec 13

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    My husband and I met a year

    and a half ago and fell in love super fast. When we started dating he said he was divorced and had a son who was 6. I found that cute. Being a teacher and working with kids on a daily basis, I really thought our relationship could work. A few weeks later he tells me his papers...
    expressmom expressmom 26-30, F 8 Responses Aug 24

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    Raising a child that isn't your own.

    Such fun! When things get tough, there are no sweet memories of them being cute because you weren't around for that part. No biological love to fall back on. I'm so sick of it all. 7 years and I'm thinking of throwing in the towel. She'll be 14 in June so pretty sure it's not...
    Countrychicky Countrychicky 26-30 3 Responses Apr 10

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    What Did I Get Myself Into

    I got married 6 months ago to an incredible man, really he is the best. Only there's one problem, the only cause of stress in our relationship, the only reason we ever argue-his 2 kids from a previous marriage. I hate being home when they are here. I try to be normal and pretend...
    Marie2424 Marie2424 26-30, F 7 Responses Nov 20, 2013

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    Hi I'm a step mom and I have grown to hate it.

    I have so much resentment about my life being so different to what it was. I hate myself for feeling this way. I've had so many anxious tearful moments and generally just want to run away. My step son is 11 and his mom and dad have shared him, between their two houses for 11...
    brightonpast brightonpast 36-40, F 1 Response Dec 1

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    My husband just spent MY entire paycheck on the

    step kids intramural soccer. He told me not to worry, because he would take the money out of the savings we have for our big wedding ceremony next summer. I'm heartbroken
    nke82991 nke82991 26-30, F 3 Responses Sep 7

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    I love my stepkids, but I hate their mom(Who

    doesn't, I guess? :P). She is a drunk and she is miserable and wants everyone around her to be miserable. Last night she called the kids (sd-9 ss-8) and started crying on the phone saying she missed them. SS handed my SO the phone because he didn't know what to say and I could...
    justtakestime justtakestime 26-30, F 2 Responses Jul 3

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    I thought this was just me!

    I'm so glad I'm not alone. Besides my fiance's ex-wife thinking she should deserve mother of the year award, I hate the fact that he even married her! Let alone has a child. I resent the fact that his child knows he comes before me. I have been told several times that his son is...
    SeekingAdvice1 SeekingAdvice1 26-30, F 4 Responses Nov 7

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    Starting to feel like a horrible person!

    A little info on my situation - I am not married. I couldn't actually.. When he proposed I said that we need to do what's best for the kids first. This was over a year ago & he was very understanding. I've been with him for 3 years.. I've known him for 14(my brother's best...
    patientlove patientlove 22-25 5 Responses Sep 21

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    I really shouldnt hate it,

    but it is the hardest most hurtful thing in the world. Especially when the stepkids have a bio mom like the one i deal with. I really need some feedback, support, etc. I am in HELL. I have 3 step sons and a son and daughter of my own. I have been with the father for about 13...
    Kcmomof5 Kcmomof5 31-35, F 4 Responses Oct 13

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    Stressed Out

    I have been married for a little over a yr and my husband has a 9 yr old daughter from a previous marriage. It has been difficult for me. I was always used to being alone and doing my own thing but I know too that she was used to just having her dad. My issue is that she will not...
    blackcat35 blackcat35 31-35 6 Responses Oct 29, 2010

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    A while back I denounced my ugly title

    "step-mom" and enforced my new much fonder title of "Daddys' wife" Along with that I relinquished all the duties and chores that were bestowed unto me....much much happier and peaceful place. ..I now share this following prayer to all the "steps" still out there fighting these...
    Maylissa Maylissa 41-45 Dec 17

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    I feel guilty writing this,

    let alone thinking it. Truth is I am not really "legally" the stepmom...just the woman married to the child's father. Since the day we fell in love, over our courtship, and to today, I was always accepting of the children. 3 are older, but it is the youngest that has become...
    LadyLoner LadyLoner 46-50, F 3 Responses Oct 4

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    Before I start, please know I try to do all I

    can to be a great mom to my SD. I am involved with her school/ activities, homework, I take her places, make her meals, buy her clothes when needed, etc. but, 85% of the time I hate it. When I first met my husband she was a great girl. She was very sweet and my husband took...
    MargeSimpson31 MargeSimpson31 31-35, F 4 Responses Aug 29

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    Is it just me or are loads of (young) people

    just signing up to attack what you wrote just for the fun of it?? Some haven't even read through the whole story and based their opinion on the first 3 sentences. People really don't have to agree with what I write but just leaving a comment calling me names or a bad person...
    makingimpossiblepossible makingimpossiblepossible 41-45, F 4 Responses Mar 21

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    I met my now Fiance 3 years ago,

    at the time i knew he had a Son (now 9) and thought that i would be able to make it work. Now living together and having a daughter together i now resent the time he spends with his son. He seems to be very attentive to his son and everything his son wants his son gets. My...
    mimigirl90 mimigirl90 22-25, F 1 Response Sep 30

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