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I Hate Being a Stepmom

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 740 People

    I think being a step-parent is one of the most

    difficult things to deal with. My husband has 3 grown children. I was naive in thinking that things would get better once they were adults, but OH NO....it doesn't. They are disrespectful and users. They only call him when they want something, are always trying to move back...
    Oddusername Oddusername 36-40, F Jan 2

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    Because I'm Canadian,

    this coming Monday is a fairly new Statutory holiday... "Family Day." What was going through the minds of our trusted MPs when they decided to give us a day off in the middle of cold, snowy, February to spend cooped up with our "families" mustn't have their step-children on this...
    Gracey0079 Gracey0079 36-40, F 3 Responses Feb 12

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    Freedom

    Hi there. I browsed so many of the stories here and each one had a similar thread: the sadness, disappointment and even despair associated with being a stepmom. My husband and I married ten years ago. He has 4 kids and I have 2. In that time I left him twice- we damned near didn...
    Wickedskids Wickedskids 41-45, F 11 Responses Jul 26, 2012

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    I think being a step-parent is one of the most

    difficult things to deal with. My husband has 3 grown children. I was naive in thinking that things would get better once they were adults, but OH NO....it doesn't. They are disrespectful and users. They only call him when they want something, are always trying to move back...
    Oddusername Oddusername 36-40, F Jan 2

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    Holy Moly. Things in the stepmom world just

    keep getting worse. I'll tell you about my situation. I'm engaged, and my fiancé has an 8 year old daughter. Him and his ex girlfriend have been split since their daughter was 1, but have maintained a co-parenting relationship. I met him when his daughter was 6. We've recently...
    Honest89 Honest89 22-25, F 1 Response Jan 4

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    Attention Stepmom's: Put yourself first.

    I recently left my husband this week after 10 years of marriage. I was unhappy with the conditions of our home and how he never held his kids accountable for doing their chores and cleaning up after themselves, not considering my feelings, using me financially to support his...
    Februarychic Februarychic 31-35, F 7 Responses Oct 15, 2014

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    Don't Get Involved With A Man With Kids

    I got involved with a man about 5 years ago that has two children ages 10 and 14.  I was warned by everybody how hard it was. I told myself as long as I have my own life I would be able to handle it. The truth is, there is no room for you when it comes to dating a man with...
    dfilbert dfilbert 36-40, F 88 Responses Oct 25, 2009

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    In the end, it all boils down to loyalty

    and respect. I've been having a bad couple of weeks. I have four kids and my husband has three. My older two are grown and out on their own, my two younger kids live with us full time and we get his sons every other weekend, Wednesdays and split up holidays/summer vacations...
    Swedishfishaddict Swedishfishaddict 41-45, F 3 Responses Jan 8

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    I love my stepdaughter very,

    very much. We have a great relationship. My husband and I don't get to see her often, even though she lives mostly with her mom in the same city we do. The city we live in isn't even that big. Anyway, my stepdaughter, who is a young teen, almost very obviously does not consider...
    Grace213 Grace213 22-25, F 2 Responses Dec 10, 2014

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    I Hate My Stepson

    I have always hated kids. I started casually seeing a guy that I knew had a kid, but I thought it wasn't going to go anywhere. It turned out that we had so much in common that we eventually were talking about moving in together. I had decided that I wasn't going to let an...
    deleted deleted 26-30 41 Responses Mar 5, 2011

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    After another couple grand

    for a lawyer - I am overwhelmed with the situation with the ex & children! I do really "hate" being a "stepmom!" My boyfriend was with a woman with 3 children who all had different dads. He had a child with her, not knowing if it was his. When it was confirmed the child was...
    patientlove patientlove 22-25 1 Response Feb 7

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    A while back I denounced my ugly title

    "step-mom" and enforced my new much fonder title of "Daddys' wife" Along with that I relinquished all the duties and chores that were bestowed unto me....much much happier and peaceful place. ..I now share this following prayer to all the "steps" still out there fighting these...
    Maylissa Maylissa 41-45 1 Response Dec 17, 2014

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    UPDATE! We won!!! court yesterday went better

    than I could've imagined. the judge basically laughed the ex wife out of court saying there was no basis for the order of protection. within 5 minutes of leaving, the oldest daughter called my husband, with her mom in the background of course, saying he lied on the stand. he...
    janean2008 janean2008 22-25, F 2 Responses Feb 13

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    What I hate overall about being a "step parent"

    is the fact that all I really equate to is a wallet.
    sobackwards sobackwards 31-35, F 4 Responses Apr 5, 2014

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    VillaVuka is BIG LIAR!

    !! He say "Most people get arrested for the first time in their teens for dumb things like Underage Possesions. I was arrested for the first time aged almost 9 along with younger sister(7) and mother back in 2001. We were roused from our sleep thinking a crackhead had kicked in...
    Bergenbabe Bergenbabe 36-40, F Dec 13, 2014

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    This is to all the women out there,

    never never never ever ever married a man with kid/kids!!!!! His kid/kids will aways come first before anything else, it doesn't matter who's at fault. You will not win a losing battle. Please, I beg you to think twice or more before you say yes. Also, no one will listen to...
    Teardrop1001 Teardrop1001 31-35, F 7 Responses Jan 19, 2014

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    I really hate being a stepmom.

    ..which knowing me you would find so hard to believe. Due to having endometriosis and losing the only baby I ever conceived to a miscarriage caused by a hard fall on icy steps I have always loved and longed for kids. When my husband and I met I adored his 3 kids and went way...
    Maylissa Maylissa 41-45 3 Responses Dec 15, 2014

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    I just married my husband in November of 2014.

    Before we married I knew he had 2 kids but we broke up for about four months and in that four months, he got the kids mother pregnant AGAIN!! What do I do??? I married him anyway. Now I think that's the worst decision I made in my whole life!!! Now my husband has a 9yr old, 3yr...
    hurtstepmom hurtstepmom 31-35, F 18 Responses May 13, 2014

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    Well, I'm glad I found this site.

    .... It's comforting to know that all around the nation I'm not the only one, even tho I feel like it, who has issues with being a step mother. It's true it is definitely a different type of situation that I did not EVER see my self in. I've been married for all most 5 years...
    alcvs alcvs 26-30, F 3 Responses Jan 17

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    Is it 8am Monday yet?

    ! Seriously cannot stand this child.
    MommyToMine MommyToMine 26-30, F 3 Responses Feb 14

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    im sort of lost...my husband

    and i have been together for 2 years..married for only 4 weeks though. he has two daughters, the youngest 9, his biological child, the oldest 14, not his bioligical child, but hes been her "dad" since she was a few months old, he is not technically her ex step dad but she still...
    lostleesha lostleesha 26-30, F 4 Responses Oct 27, 2014

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    Today I'm having a bit of a low day.

    Am feeling that my husband is slipping a bit as in not making his kids stick to our rules. They drop the ball and he just makes a remark about it but doesn't follow through in making them actually do it. That's like a slippery road downwards and means life at home gets more...
    makingimpossiblepossible makingimpossiblepossible 41-45, F 10 Responses Feb 23, 2014

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    What Did I Get Myself Into

    I got married 6 months ago to an incredible man, really he is the best. Only there's one problem, the only cause of stress in our relationship, the only reason we ever argue-his 2 kids from a previous marriage. I hate being home when they are here. I try to be normal and pretend...
    Marie2424 Marie2424 26-30, F 7 Responses Nov 20, 2013

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    Searching these posts

    for help winning back my wife. I have failed my my wife. It took an entire year for me to be able to admit that or even see it. For the last year it's been "my wife is selfish" or "my wife is unreasonable." But it was me. I'm selfish. I failed her and I pray I can get her back...
    TonyM323 TonyM323 36-40, M 8 Responses Sep 23, 2014

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    I married a wonderful man.

    .. with baggage. He has four daughters and a step daughter that he has cared for since she was very young. His ex is as crazy as they get. She has ordered a restraining order on my husband and me numerous times. Since I am a schoolteacher and he is a police officer, it looks...
    Steppedontoomanytimes Steppedontoomanytimes 41-45, F 6 Responses May 24, 2014

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    Hey everyone..I wrote last week about hating

    being a step mom. I read through a lot of forums and could relate with other women out there. There's no hard & fast rules as everyone's experience, albeit similar at times, is unique. Through it all, I came to realise that my hating being a step mom was down to the fact...
    lorir1975 lorir1975 36-40, F 5 Responses Feb 11, 2014

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    I think being a step-parent is one of the most

    difficult things to deal with. My husband has 3 grown children. I was naive in thinking that things would get better once they were adults, but OH NO....it doesn't. They are disrespectful and users. They only call him when they want something, are always trying to move back...
    Oddusername Oddusername 36-40, F 1 Response Jan 2

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    Stressed Out

    I have been married for a little over a yr and my husband has a 9 yr old daughter from a previous marriage. It has been difficult for me. I was always used to being alone and doing my own thing but I know too that she was used to just having her dad. My issue is that she will not...
    blackcat35 blackcat35 31-35 6 Responses Oct 29, 2010

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    I am sure my story is similar to many on this

    blog. I am a step mom and have been for about three years. When I was first introduced to my husband he had his girls every weekend. They were not well behaved at all. I didn't concern myself with it too much unless they were with me. They were rude and disrespectful to their...
    bettylou1212 bettylou1212 41-45, F 5 Responses Nov 27, 2014

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    Hi I'm a step mom and I have grown to hate it.

    I have so much resentment about my life being so different to what it was. I hate myself for feeling this way. I've had so many anxious tearful moments and generally just want to run away. My step son is 11 and his mom and dad have shared him, between their two houses for 11...
    brightonpast brightonpast 36-40, F 3 Responses Dec 1, 2014

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    This is a bit lengthy .

    I had to unburden my mind before I break down. Am sooo overwhelmed, discouraged and confused right now. I met a wonderful guy about two and half years ago through a mutual friend( we are now married with a one year old) when we met, he told me he had an 18 month old son with...
    soujourner82 soujourner82 31-35, F 5 Responses Jan 21

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    I've tried and tried

    and tried again! I just had a baby, but when the kid is here I work my rear off to make sure she has everything she needs including a healthy dinner. The dinner part is hard because bio mom lets her eat whatever she wants - pancakes for dinner, ramen, fried chicken, and gas...
    MargeSimpson31 MargeSimpson31 31-35, F 2 Responses Dec 18, 2014

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    Unappreciated And Fed Up...

    I was curious if anyone else ever feels like I do? My husband was my high school sweet heart, we broke up, both married other people and ended up divorced. During that time he had 2 children with sorry-but a piece of white trash who decided drugs were more important and left them...
    Paige1234 Paige1234 26-30, F 23 Responses Jan 6, 2010

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    Son of my husband has EP Name 'VillaVuka'.

    He is BIG LIAR just like his CRAZY ***** BLACK MOTHER!!! He do not tell the history as happened by LAW! He LIE and LIE and LIE!!!! *If VillaVuka respond say to where you mama and sister reside? No longer in Mainz or Stuttgart?
    Bergenbabe Bergenbabe 36-40, F 1 Response Dec 12, 2014

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    I thought this was just me!

    I'm so glad I'm not alone. Besides my fiance's ex-wife thinking she should deserve mother of the year award, I hate the fact that he even married her! Let alone has a child. I resent the fact that his child knows he comes before me. I have been told several times that his son is...
    SeekingAdvice1 SeekingAdvice1 26-30, F 4 Responses Nov 7, 2014

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    I really shouldnt hate it,

    but it is the hardest most hurtful thing in the world. Especially when the stepkids have a bio mom like the one i deal with. I really need some feedback, support, etc. I am in HELL. I have 3 step sons and a son and daughter of my own. I have been with the father for about 13...
    Kcmomof5 Kcmomof5 31-35, F 4 Responses Oct 13, 2014

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    Is it just me or are loads of (young) people

    just signing up to attack what you wrote just for the fun of it?? Some haven't even read through the whole story and based their opinion on the first 3 sentences. People really don't have to agree with what I write but just leaving a comment calling me names or a bad person...
    makingimpossiblepossible makingimpossiblepossible 41-45, F 4 Responses Mar 21, 2014

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    Like all of you I hate being a stepmom.

    My husband and I have been together for 4 years and have two children together. He also has a daughter who is 12 with a woman he only dated when he was 20, got her pregnant, and were never together after she was born. We only have her every other weekend, if that, but every time...
    2Loves1Hate 2Loves1Hate 26-30, F 2 Responses Dec 21, 2014

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    When i married my husband i knew he had a 3 yr

    old girl, and i didnt mind because the mother had full custody, and he only saw her 2 times a week. now we have full custody, because her mom "abused of her" thats what the kid said, now that she is spending more time with me i am starting to think that maybe she is the problem...
    desirejanice desirejanice 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 28, 2014

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    Raising a child that isn't your own.

    Such fun! When things get tough, there are no sweet memories of them being cute because you weren't around for that part. No biological love to fall back on. I'm so sick of it all. 7 years and I'm thinking of throwing in the towel. She'll be 14 in June so pretty sure it's not...
    Countrychicky Countrychicky 26-30 3 Responses Apr 10, 2014

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    I think being a step-parent is one of the most

    difficult things to deal with. My husband has 3 grown children. I was naive in thinking that things would get better once they were adults, but OH NO....it doesn't. They are disrespectful and users. They only call him when they want something, are always trying to move back...
    Oddusername Oddusername 36-40, F Jan 2

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    No Credit

    The thing I hate most about being the stepmom is that I do everthing and never get any credit . For example my oldest stepdaughter just graduated from high school and her mother came down from Texas and took all the credit for how well her daughter turned out . It hurts because...
    wendy1972 wendy1972 36-40, F 12 Responses Jun 5, 2012

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    So my step kids are 3

    and 1 both have different mothers and live with them. I am not allowed to see them but my husband goes to visit them regularly. I feel as though I am in the way. I also hate that I am not a part of their lives. It's all a different world from me. Am I wrong to feel this way? It...
    poojibp poojibp 18-21, F 3 Responses 6 days ago

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    I Want My Old Life Back

    I have so much anger built up inside of me that I don't know when I will explode or who will be there when it happens, but I need to express my anger issues at my life situation right now. Where do I start....I met my boyfriend 3 years ago when I was young and single and loving...
    Katie1979 Katie1979 26-30 79 Responses Apr 28, 2009

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    Maybe I shouldn't post in this experience.

    I don't hate being a stepmom. Not anymore anyway. I don't hate being a stepmom because I am OVER being a stepmom. The "children" are now 38 and 35 and no more considerate or respectful of me than when I married their father 32 years ago. These "children" don't mind stepping...
    sueselala sueselala 51-55, F 3 Responses Jan 13

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    I think my marriage is over.

    I have been married to my husband for three years, but we have been together almost 11 years. His son is 10 years old, and honestly I have never tried to have a relationship with him like I should have. I have been in his life since he was born, but I was only 20 and didn't...
    tjones44 tjones44 31-35, F 6 Responses Jul 31, 2014

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    Women That Aren't Stepmoms Could Never Understand...

    I know that I should've known what I was getting into. At first it was ok. I honestly thought I could handle it & make a better life for my stepchildren. I couldn't understand how these stepmoms could feel the way they did. I was judgemental, I admit. I had no clue as to what it...
    455cargirl 455cargirl 36-40, F 17 Responses Jan 22, 2012

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    I love my stepkids, but I hate their mom(Who

    doesn't, I guess? :P). She is a drunk and she is miserable and wants everyone around her to be miserable. Last night she called the kids (sd-9 ss-8) and started crying on the phone saying she missed them. SS handed my SO the phone because he didn't know what to say and I could...
    justtakestime justtakestime 26-30, F 2 Responses Jul 3, 2014

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    My husband and I have been married 2 years

    and together 5. He has 2 kids, 9 & 11, both boys. When we got together, they lived an hour away from me. We got them on the weekends and a month during the summer and I had a little bond with them (not much). A year into being together, the bio mom moved in with girl friend...
    stepmom429 stepmom429 26-30, F 1 Response Dec 29, 2014

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    I feel compelled to tell you my story.

    I am a step-daughter who made life very hard for my step-mom. I hated her, well not her exactly, I hated my dads partner. As I matured I began to appreciate how much she loves my dad, the things she did for my siblings and I, and the important role she plays in our family. I...
    bannaj bannaj 31-35, F 3 Responses Aug 2, 2014

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    I feel guilty writing this,

    let alone thinking it. Truth is I am not really "legally" the stepmom...just the woman married to the child's father. Since the day we fell in love, over our courtship, and to today, I was always accepting of the children. 3 are older, but it is the youngest that has become...
    LadyLoner LadyLoner 46-50, F 3 Responses Oct 4, 2014

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