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I Hate Being a Stepmom

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 653 People

    I HATE being a stepmom to adult stepchildren.

    My stepchildren were raised by their biological mom to be the most selfish, prideful kids I've ever met! These kids constantly don't care about their father's feelings and were raised to let their evil biological mom rule the entire family. We attended my stepson's graduation...
    Rachel3737 Rachel3737 41-45, F 3 Responses Jun 15

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    I just feel like I'm going through the motions.

    It has come to the point where I don't even want to be in the same room with them. I am always their taxi for after school events and weekends when SD wants to go somewhere with friends. We don't even speak in the car anymore and she constantly posts negative things about me on...
    Februarychic Februarychic 31-35, F 8 Responses Mar 30

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    SO I am beyond pissed right now!

    I really dislike my stepson's mom. Of course it's back to school time and every year my husband and his ex-girlfriend agreed to alternate when it comes to who buys the school supplies and uniforms for the year. For the past three years my husband has been buying both. Our son is...
    tjones44 tjones44 31-35, F 3 Responses Aug 12

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    Before I start, please know I try to do all I

    can to be a great mom to my SD. I am involved with her school/ activities, homework, I take her places, make her meals, buy her clothes when needed, etc. but, 85% of the time I hate it. When I first met my husband she was a great girl. She was very sweet and my husband took...
    MargeSimpson31 MargeSimpson31 31-35, F 3 Responses Aug 29

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    Let me start off by giving background on

    me…….. I grew up with my mom and stepdad. We had the normal family issues, and there were times that I threw out the "you’re not my dad", but for the most part I had a good childhood. I’m not trying to sugar coat our family dynamic. When my parents first got together...
    bevd928 bevd928 41-45, F 2 Responses Sep 5

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    Attention Stepmom's: Put yourself first.

    I recently left my husband this week after 10 years of marriage. I was unhappy with the conditions of our home and how he never held his kids accountable for doing their chores and cleaning up after themselves, not considering my feelings, using me financially to support his...
    Februarychic Februarychic 31-35, F 3 Responses Oct 15

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    Freedom

    Hi there. I browsed so many of the stories here and each one had a similar thread: the sadness, disappointment and even despair associated with being a stepmom. My husband and I married ten years ago. He has 4 kids and I have 2. In that time I left him twice- we damned near didn...
    Wickedskids Wickedskids 41-45, F 10 Responses Jul 26, 2012

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    So. I had a discussion with my step son's

    school counselor. I'm worked on a lesson plan for the summer to get him caught up in reading. It's a little stressful knowing I'm going to be mom and tutor, but I couldn't get a tutor and these no summer school here. While she helped me get his assessments to know where he's...
    Sassynchic Sassynchic 31-35, F 2 Responses Jun 6

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    At 10:30, my 7yo SS was in our den playing

    video games. I asked my husband to send him to his room (he has a tv and games in there as well) as I wanted to relax and unwind. That request turned into a huge fight and for the first time, I've experienced feelings of wanting to leave. I've replayed the argument in my mind...
    Stepmom212 Stepmom212 31-35, F 7 Responses Aug 10

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    It's getting to the point

    that I'd rather raise foster kids than step kids. Probably the same problems but at least I would feel like I was helping someone have a better life.
    Februarychic Februarychic 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 9

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    Stressed Out

    I have been married for a little over a yr and my husband has a 9 yr old daughter from a previous marriage. It has been difficult for me. I was always used to being alone and doing my own thing but I know too that she was used to just having her dad. My issue is that she will not...
    blackcat35 blackcat35 31-35 6 Responses Oct 29, 2010

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    People ask why I hate being a step mother.

    I hate it for many reasons. I hate it because for the first time ever I have found a child I truly do not care about at all anymore, I have put in so so so much effort and have quite honestly got to the point of not giving a d****. I hate it because I have to hear about her and...
    stephell13 stephell13 22-25, F 4 Responses May 30

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    I really shouldnt hate it,

    but it is the hardest most hurtful thing in the world. Especially when the stepkids have a bio mom like the one i deal with. I really need some feedback, support, etc. I am in HELL. I have 3 step sons and a son and daughter of my own. I have been with the father for about 13...
    Kcmomof5 Kcmomof5 31-35, F 3 Responses Oct 13

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    I feel compelled to tell you my story.

    I am a step-daughter who made life very hard for my step-mom. I hated her, well not her exactly, I hated my dads partner. As I matured I began to appreciate how much she loves my dad, the things she did for my siblings and I, and the important role she plays in our family. I...
    bannaj bannaj 31-35, F 3 Responses Aug 2

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    It's almost Easter and of course-

    as with every holiday, we have to work OUR plans around BIO Mom's. It was easier when kids were little- it was in parenting plan . Now that kids are in their 20's- we get to wait and find out when and I'd kids will be available. Heavy Sigh. I told my husband for once we need to...
    HollyCharbo HollyCharbo 46-50 2 Responses Apr 12

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    Is it just me or are loads of (young) people

    just signing up to attack what you wrote just for the fun of it?? Some haven't even read through the whole story and based their opinion on the first 3 sentences. People really don't have to agree with what I write but just leaving a comment calling me names or a bad person...
    makingimpossiblepossible makingimpossiblepossible 36-40, F 4 Responses Mar 21

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    I actually love my three step children.

    While I struggle with the youngest at times because she's ADHD and she is terrible at listening for a 5 year old, I feel pretty happy when they are around. What I feel like I didn't sign up for was the baby mama drama. The way these women treat me (2 moms) is at times...
    Sassynchic Sassynchic 31-35, F 5 Responses May 4

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    Raising a child that isn't your own.

    Such fun! When things get tough, there are no sweet memories of them being cute because you weren't around for that part. No biological love to fall back on. I'm so sick of it all. 7 years and I'm thinking of throwing in the towel. She'll be 14 in June so pretty sure it's not...
    Countrychicky Countrychicky 26-30 3 Responses Apr 10

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    What I hate overall about being a "step parent"

    is the fact that all I really equate to is a wallet.
    sobackwards sobackwards 31-35, F 4 Responses Apr 5

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    I need more control in my life.

    Being a stepmom and having my husbands children live with us full time and not being able to have my house the way I would like is frustrating . The kids all contribute to the mess in the house but don't clean up after themselves like they are supposed to. It has been my rule...
    Februarychic Februarychic 31-35, F 3 Responses Jun 28

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    I think my marriage is over.

    I have been married to my husband for three years, but we have been together almost 11 years. His son is 10 years old, and honestly I have never tried to have a relationship with him like I should have. I have been in his life since he was born, but I was only 20 and didn't...
    tjones44 tjones44 31-35, F 5 Responses Jul 31

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    It's back to school time again

    and unfortunately I don't have a job. My husband is the only one working and supporting this family of 6. The step kids bio mom does not have to pay child support and husband told them to ask her for help with school supplies and uniforms this year, and all she's sending is $50...
    Februarychic Februarychic 31-35, F 2 Responses Aug 11

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    I Hate My Stepson

    I have always hated kids. I started casually seeing a guy that I knew had a kid, but I thought it wasn't going to go anywhere. It turned out that we had so much in common that we eventually were talking about moving in together. I had decided that I wasn't going to let an...
    deleted deleted 26-30 39 Responses Mar 5, 2011

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    I just married my husband in November of 2014.

    Before we married I knew he had 2 kids but we broke up for about four months and in that four months, he got the kids mother pregnant AGAIN!! What do I do??? I married him anyway. Now I think that's the worst decision I made in my whole life!!! Now my husband has a 9yr old, 3yr...
    hurtstepmom hurtstepmom 31-35, F 18 Responses May 13

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    Omg if only i could turn back time,

    i would never have married my husband and realize that i dont like living with his kids. It was just the two of us when we got married but then eventually both his kids moved in with us. One is an adult, 20 yo. But even though hes been asked to move out, he still hasnt. The...
    missmiserable32 missmiserable32 31-35, F 6 Responses Sep 27

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    I met my now Fiance 3 years ago,

    at the time i knew he had a Son (now 9) and thought that i would be able to make it work. Now living together and having a daughter together i now resent the time he spends with his son. He seems to be very attentive to his son and everything his son wants his son gets. My...
    mimigirl90 mimigirl90 22-25, F 1 Response Sep 30

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    So...I am just going to do some point forms

    here to give a basis: I cannot combine the past 5 years into one story but as I go I would like to share my experiences and would love advice :) 1. Stepmom with no kids of my own 2. Been living with Dad and my Stepson for 4 years 3. SS is 9 years old 4. Currently my mom has been...
    Deflatedone Deflatedone 36-40, F 4 Responses Sep 9

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    When I met my husband,

    I was hesitant to date a man with kids, but we hit it off and fell in love very quickly. When I met his daughters, then 11 and 7, I loved them. We got along great until we moved in together. These girls were raised having everything handed to them and being completely spoiled...
    thisissohardtotake thisissohardtotake 41-45, F 3 Responses Aug 25

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    Today I'm having a bit of a low day.

    Am feeling that my husband is slipping a bit as in not making his kids stick to our rules. They drop the ball and he just makes a remark about it but doesn't follow through in making them actually do it. That's like a slippery road downwards and means life at home gets more...
    makingimpossiblepossible makingimpossiblepossible 36-40, F 10 Responses Feb 23

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    Women That Aren't Stepmoms Could Never Understand...

    I know that I should've known what I was getting into. At first it was ok. I honestly thought I could handle it & make a better life for my stepchildren. I couldn't understand how these stepmoms could feel the way they did. I was judgemental, I admit. I had no clue as to what it...
    455cargirl 455cargirl 36-40, F 17 Responses Jan 22, 2012

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    I guess this should say it hurts to be a

    stepmom. Stepdaughter is talking to her bio Mom on the phone and telling her everything about school, boys and her first job. Her biomom convinced her to set up some online banking account despite her father talking to her and SD even agreed that it would be best to have access...
    Februarychic Februarychic 31-35, F 2 Responses Sep 7

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    So I just really need to get this off my chest

    as it is taboo to mention such things anywhere else! I hate being a stepmom!! Yes I hate it... I didn't say I hate my step kids... I hate being a stepmom! I've been reading around and I think my situation is somewhat unique so I'd love to hear from any one who is going through...
    Unleashedmind Unleashedmind 22-25, F 5 Responses Jul 6

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    What Did I Get Myself Into

    I got married 6 months ago to an incredible man, really he is the best. Only there's one problem, the only cause of stress in our relationship, the only reason we ever argue-his 2 kids from a previous marriage. I hate being home when they are here. I try to be normal and pretend...
    Marie2424 Marie2424 26-30, F 7 Responses Nov 20, 2013

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    My husband just spent MY entire paycheck on the

    step kids intramural soccer. He told me not to worry, because he would take the money out of the savings we have for our big wedding ceremony next summer. I'm heartbroken
    nke82991 nke82991 26-30, F 3 Responses Sep 7

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    I met my husband while he was in the military

    thousands of miles away from his ex-wife and any parental responsibilities. The idea of being a stepmom didn't bother me; perhaps I was naive. We soon had a child of our own and, once he had completed his military duty, we moved back to his home state. There were never any...
    RealityJoke RealityJoke 31-35, F 5 Responses May 15

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    I love my stepkids, but I hate their mom(Who

    doesn't, I guess? :P). She is a drunk and she is miserable and wants everyone around her to be miserable. Last night she called the kids (sd-9 ss-8) and started crying on the phone saying she missed them. SS handed my SO the phone because he didn't know what to say and I could...
    justtakestime justtakestime 26-30, F 2 Responses Jul 3

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    Don't Get Involved With A Man With Kids

    I got involved with a man about 5 years ago that has two children ages 10 and 14.  I was warned by everybody how hard it was. I told myself as long as I have my own life I would be able to handle it. The truth is, there is no room for you when it comes to dating a man with...
    dfilbert dfilbert 36-40, F 83 Responses Oct 25, 2009

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    I feel guilty writing this,

    let alone thinking it. Truth is I am not really "legally" the stepmom...just the woman married to the child's father. Since the day we fell in love, over our courtship, and to today, I was always accepting of the children. 3 are older, but it is the youngest that has become...
    LadyLoner LadyLoner 46-50, F 3 Responses Oct 4

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    I am very 'frustrated' with being a stepmom.

    ..im new here, so bear with me:) Been with hubby 5 years now, when we got together, his ex wife moved to another state and stopped contact w kids. They are now 16/boy 12/girl...at that time, i was the fulltime instant mom...for 3 years i was the only maternal figure they had...
    justthechickraisingthem justthechickraisingthem 31-35, F 4 Responses Sep 19

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    Hey everyone..I wrote last week about hating

    being a step mom. I read through a lot of forums and could relate with other women out there. There's no hard & fast rules as everyone's experience, albeit similar at times, is unique. Through it all, I came to realise that my hating being a step mom was down to the fact...
    lorir1975 lorir1975 36-40, F 5 Responses Feb 11

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    Unappreciated And Fed Up...

    I was curious if anyone else ever feels like I do? My husband was my high school sweet heart, we broke up, both married other people and ended up divorced. During that time he had 2 children with sorry-but a piece of white trash who decided drugs were more important and left them...
    Paige1234 Paige1234 26-30, F 23 Responses Jan 6, 2010

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    Searching these posts

    for help winning back my wife. I have failed my my wife. It took an entire year for me to be able to admit that or even see it. For the last year it's been "my wife is selfish" or "my wife is unreasonable." But it was me. I'm selfish. I failed her and I pray I can get her back...
    TonyM323 TonyM323 36-40, M 5 Responses Sep 23

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    I Want My Old Life Back

    I have so much anger built up inside of me that I don't know when I will explode or who will be there when it happens, but I need to express my anger issues at my life situation right now. Where do I start....I met my boyfriend 3 years ago when I was young and single and loving...
    Katie1979 Katie1979 26-30 76 Responses Apr 28, 2009

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    No Credit

    The thing I hate most about being the stepmom is that I do everthing and never get any credit . For example my oldest stepdaughter just graduated from high school and her mother came down from Texas and took all the credit for how well her daughter turned out . It hurts because...
    wendy1972 wendy1972 36-40, F 12 Responses Jun 5, 2012

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    Ok, I have a question

    and really need advice. My husband's ex-girlfriend and I have NEVER gotten along, and now it's to the point where we try to avoid each other at all cost. She won't even ring my doorbell to pick up my stepson if my husband isn't here. She will call him and tell him to call me and...
    tjones44 tjones44 31-35, F 3 Responses Aug 20

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    I hate being the last person on his list.

    . Outside of work & the kids - I am last. I'm tired of him getting calls/texts everyday from his ex.. Interrupting anytime I ever get with him or leading the little conversation we have to be about her. I hate being their personal maid. The only one who goes to the store and...
    patientlove patientlove 22-25 3 Responses Oct 11

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    It's been 10 years that I've been a stepmom.

    Stepson is 13 years old and has lived with us full time for the past four years. What has he learned? Absolutely nothing. His attitude is awful, his hygiene is horrible. He doesn't care. Won't take a shower for days and has a medical condition where he soils his pants from not...
    Februarychic Februarychic 31-35, F 3 Responses Jun 13

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    This is to all the women out there,

    never never never ever ever married a man with kid/kids!!!!! His kid/kids will aways come first before anything else, it doesn't matter who's at fault. You will not win a losing battle. Please, I beg you to think twice or more before you say yes. Also, no one will listen to...
    Teardrop1001 Teardrop1001 31-35, F 7 Responses Jan 19

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    My husband and I have been married

    for 6 years, we have been together 10 years total. My husband has 4 children with his ex-wife. I have one child with my ex. My husband and I have a child together. So it's a total of 6 kids. At times when I'm out shopping for my own 2 children my husband ***** an attitude. He...
    sheherme83 sheherme83 31-35, F 6 Responses Aug 14

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    My husband and I met a year

    and a half ago and fell in love super fast. When we started dating he said he was divorced and had a son who was 6. I found that cute. Being a teacher and working with kids on a daily basis, I really thought our relationship could work. A few weeks later he tells me his papers...
    expressmom expressmom 26-30, F 8 Responses Aug 24

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    Starting to feel like a horrible person!

    A little info on my situation - I am not married. I couldn't actually.. When he proposed I said that we need to do what's best for the kids first. This was over a year ago & he was very understanding. I've been with him for 3 years.. I've known him for 14(my brother's best...
    patientlove patientlove 22-25 5 Responses Sep 21

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    I married a wonderful man.

    .. with baggage. He has four daughters and a step daughter that he has cared for since she was very young. His ex is as crazy as they get. She has ordered a restraining order on my husband and me numerous times. Since I am a schoolteacher and he is a police officer, it looks...
    Steppedontoomanytimes Steppedontoomanytimes 41-45, F 5 Responses May 24

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    Why I Will Never Date A Guy With Kids Again

    Ladies please, please, don't just walk ...run!! I’ve just come out of another ‘Man with baggage’ relationship –Never again will I put myself through this. I am talking from experience. I am 30+, attractive, professional woman on a positive path and working hard to get a...
    angellight7 angellight7 31-35, F 12 Responses May 20, 2013

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