I Hate Being Bipolar

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 290 People

    I've been dealing with this

    for over 10 years now, most of this time I have been in a dark hole. It went as far as me losing all hope and even forgetting who I am, who I used to be before my depression. Recently I have been able to see some light. It's not easy, and I have bad days but I have after 10...
    lily449 lily449
    22-25, F
    Mar 6, 2015
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Oct 11, 2010

    My Bippy Self

    I have been bipolar since I can remember, my first memory of wishing for suicide was at age approx 6. Before that I had always been up and down like a yo yo. I am now looking at 50. I made it. I was diagnosed when I was 23 after having wrecked a doctors office through shear...
    TheFox1963 TheFox1963
    46-50, F
    Dec 28, 2012

    Back On Cloud 9

    Hello to everyone reading this...not sure if I am allowed to post upon this multiple times in a row? First off I have been seeing a therapist for 5 years and am currently taking 300mg of Lamictal and 30mg of Vyvanse daily. I was on lithium for over a year and once the weight...
    Queenesh Queenesh
    36-40, F
    4 Responses Apr 25, 2013

    I have never posted a blog entry in my life

    but I need support from people who understand mental illness. I cannot stand being bipolar. I ******* hate it! It is exhausting and makes me suicidal. I was diagnosed with bipolar type 2 around 4 months ago. My dad has the illness as well. I am 19 and am also a recovering drug...
    Bipolartype2 Bipolartype2
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Jan 16, 2015

    I want to quit taking my meds.

    I feel like life is nothingness. I hate being stuck in this wasteland.
    alwayswriting111 alwayswriting111
    41-45, F
    1 Response Nov 6, 2015

    I Want To Tell My Brain Shhhhh Be Quiet

    I have been off the lithium since January...just taking Lamictal...ambien if I cannt fall asleep. Been dating someone for just 2 1/2 months. Was feeling great....confident in our time apart... then I wake up today....and my mind is RACING. RACING with bullshit thoughts...
    Queenesh Queenesh
    36-40, F
    2 Responses Jul 18, 2013

    Very much. The mood swings

    and highs and lows and the meds. Oh man, the medication. Plus, there are many more things, but I really don't feel like typing them right now. It's not all bad though. Just look at the picture.
    HolidaySpice HolidaySpice
    16-17, F
    Apr 20, 2014

    I Feel Like I Don't Know How to Breathe

    I had a "perfect" life:  best fiance, intelligent undergrad, a killer body, gorgeous face, loving spirit, great family and friends, honestly and not to sound conceited, but I had it all.  Then everything got f*ed up.  I no longer work, my husband supports...
    jessajessa jessajessa
    Oct 11, 2008


    No matter how much I try, I can't stop my emotions. My frustration and sadness turns to anger recently. I get angry at anyone and everyone around me with no real rational behind it. Like many, I have seen my relationship crumble. I've taken a protectionist attitude of late to...
    ugh212 ugh212
    Mar 24, 2013

    Why Doesn't Anyone Understand Me?!

    Don't you find it really fustrating when your yelling at someone you love because they don't understand and half the crap that comes out of your mouth you don't understand. I get so angry, so easily, get in to a massive argument and then i'm like 'really Stacie did you just say...
    charliebear1 charliebear1
    18-21, F
    1 Response Nov 29, 2012

    The Vicious Spin Cycle Of Modern Medicine

    Ever watch those guys and gals wheeling in the suitcase/briefcase things while you're in the waiting room at 3pm for your 10am appointment?) Well, those people, ladies and gents, are the drug pushers of the legal sort, and the reason you're waiting so long isn't because the doc's...
    FantasiaRealms FantasiaRealms
    31-35, F
    Oct 31, 2010

    This Little Girl.

    Most people say they cannot remember before a certain age but I can remember a lot. I can remember being help up at a top floor flat window and feeling scared as a baby. I can remember feeling frustrated because I could not speak yet. With this in mind, I was brought up in the...
    TheFox1963 TheFox1963
    46-50, F
    Apr 26, 2013

    I Hurt So Bad!!!!!!!!!!!! Omg I Want This To Stop

    So most of you know what being bi polar is do you think that two bi polar people can be in a relationship together I have kids by this man and I was diagnosed in 2009 and am medicated but he wont get help because he thinks it is me and then we fight and I flip out and he flips...
    bleedinheart bleedinheart
    26-30, F
    Mar 27, 2011

    Why can't I get along with bosses?

    Is it possible that this causes my episodes of depression and anxiety? I have read many posts about people not being able to hold down a job. Is this why? I feel ashamed and scared of losing my job.
    Jal172 Jal172
    36-40, F
    Oct 5, 2014

    Why can't I get along with bosses?

    Is it possible that this causes my episodes of depression and anxiety? I have read many posts about people not being able to hold down a job. Is this why? I feel ashamed and scared of losing my job.
    Jal172 Jal172
    36-40, F
    Oct 5, 2014

    Bipolar Ii?????? Give Me Hypomania Anyday!

    I was diagnosed with Bipolar II disorder in 2002.  I was originally diagnosed with depression and anxiety in 2000.  For some reason that was okay.  But Bipolar???? That meant I was "crazy"!  Everybody gets depressed and anxious sometimes, but the label...
    ccb123 ccb123
    36-40, F
    4 Responses Apr 15, 2010

    I have given up on all hope of having any

    intimate relationship. No significant other or close friendship is possible so why try? I am extremely introverted, bipolar, and tired of meeting people I just don't like in the world. I have very little patience for anyone. I just want to not feel like this but I can not act...
    epic2003 epic2003
    36-40, M
    1 Response Jan 27, 2014

    Because your friends get tired of not getting a

    singular person to be with. And it sucks.
    Theunknownvictim Theunknownvictim
    13-15, F
    Oct 6, 2014

    I Used To Hate It

    Until i learned bout it, its me.... Its my brain.... Its my life....so now i have embraced it... Found what meds work for me... Which type of rcb 2 was and now i am doing so much better.... Only took me 15 + yrs to do it
    craving4touch craving4touch
    46-50, F
    2 Responses Oct 29, 2013

    Live In The Moment, Chained To The Past

    i have dealt with it for most of my life. i am almost 30 now. For the last 20 years it has all been a series of ups and downs. I can feel very good about myself at times then turn on a dime and sink into a depression domino effect over little or nothing. it has effected my jobs...
    rorer714 rorer714
    26-30, M
    Mar 4, 2013

    I'm sick and tired of going from manic to

    depression to mixed episodes. Even with medication I still go through mood swings. Not as drastic as without medication. I'm also tired of the absurdly high prices of medications. How is anyone supposed to afford bipolar medications? How are we supposed to afford $40-$60 company...
    Tiredofrollercoasteremotions Tiredofrollercoasteremotions
    36-40, M
    2 Responses Nov 4, 2014

    Bipolar Teen

    I'm only 16. In some ways I am blessed to have been diagnosed as bipolar and treated early (teachers reported the cuts they saw when I didn't pull my sleeves down far enough). However it has just been the worst year of my life, I lost all my friends and my self respect. I let...
    JackieThompson JackieThompson
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Aug 7, 2013

    so iv been up and down all day.

    ... but iv just gone from being deliriously high and im crashing. badly. i just wanna cry and scream and run and hide all at the same time. my head hurts which is making it so much worse. i hate this, i wanna not have conflicting emotions all the damn time arghhhhhh. feeling very...
    rachlin50 rachlin50
    22-25, F
    Aug 1, 2015


    Bipolar Disorder? I didn't know many people suffered from this condition. Let me tell my story. I am Bipolar and my family hates me.I am supposed to have a boyfriend but that person isn't any better than my mother and sister.He goes to my mother's house and when I am looking for...
    mcreativebeauty mcreativebeauty
    22-25, F
    8 Responses Mar 30, 2011

    Up Down And All Around I Hate Being Bipolar

    Hi there, This is the first time I have ever written about being bipolar anywhere other than my journal. I HATE being bipolar. I just hate it. I am so jealous of everyone else who doesnt have to deal with this emotional rollercoaster. Just when I think I have found my...
    Queenesh Queenesh
    36-40, F
    8 Responses Apr 23, 2013

    Rrrrrr, Its So Frustrating!

    Just when I start to feel slightly comfortable in a feeling of normalcy and its gone! I'm so sick of adjusting my meds only to go from one extreme to the other. Here I go to manic. I try to stay positive. I know I'm supposed to look at the bright side. It's hard to look when you...
    wideawake2 wideawake2
    2 Responses Feb 4, 2013

    Why can't I get along with bosses?

    Is it possible that this causes my episodes of depression and anxiety? I have read many posts about people not being able to hold down a job. Is this why? I feel ashamed and scared of losing my job.
    Jal172 Jal172
    36-40, F
    Oct 5, 2014

    What's The Point?

    My depression can't be controlled with medications and my mania without meds doesn't really interfere with my life, so why should I even keep taking all these pills?
    whitedove712 whitedove712
    26-30, F
    Dec 19, 2012

    During childhood I felt alone,

    different, and anxious. Later I became moody. I never exposed my real feelings but rather hid them away. To friends and teachers I was a happy, friendly, and smart person. I went on to college and suffered through engineering school. I was full of highs and lows. I was...
    Jal172 Jal172
    36-40, F
    1 Response Mar 20, 2014

    These last couple of days have been the worst

    of my life, I found a lump in my underarm, I was worried but enough to go to the doc, but not that much. Cancer goes in my family, but I mean I'm 21.. I didn't seriously think of it. My sister yelled at me and called me a bunch of things for worrying enough to even go to the doc...
    lily449 lily449
    22-25, F
    Mar 27, 2015

    What Is Worse?

    Do you know what is worse than dealing with Bipolar Disorder Day in and Day out? I'm sure you don't, because unless you, or someone you know is suffering from bipolar disorder you have no idea what it is like. I know I sure as hell didn't, before I was diagnosed with Bipolar, I...
    deleted deleted
    5 Responses Dec 2, 2009

    What Did I Do To Deserve This?

    I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder several months ago. It was so hard for me to accept that i was (am) "sick". I can't tell the difference between who i am, and what this disorder makes me. When i go through my depressive states, my constant refrain is: What did i do to...
    tonixtuesday tonixtuesday
    3 Responses Nov 19, 2011
    LSCouple LSCouple
    26-30, F
    1 Response Nov 3, 2014

    Bipolar Disorder Is Ruining My Life

    Although I am one of the most compliant and well-controlled cases psychiatrists have ever seen, no amount of medication can make this not suck. And I'm sure many of you guys know all about it, but I'm going to go through it all anyway because I have not really had anyone to vent...
    whitedove712 whitedove712
    26-30, F
    5 Responses Nov 18, 2011

    Maybe it wouldn't be

    so bad if I didn't end up depressed every time I turned around. I sometimes wonder if I'm ever going to remember what happy feels like... because I can't from this side of it. I feel so along, and helpless - I can't help myself, and I can't help the friends I see hurting... I...
    Koriyan Koriyan
    36-40, F
    Feb 19, 2015


    I really ******* hate being bipolar. The mood swings are enough to ******* kill me sometimes. One minute, I'm fine, next I'm scared out of my mind, than I'm ok, than I'm back to beign severally depressed. I hate it so much. its bad for the people around me, they don't know how to...
    deleted deleted
    Oct 25, 2012

    Here I sit in a dilemma I often do to myself my

    ambitions have outweighed my capabilities.(if you're a grammar nut pls stop here) I'm bipolar and currently not medicated which has put me in this position. I took a new job with low expectations and what seemed to lead to a dead end and then everything changed. I ended up...
    tater08 tater08
    26-30, M
    1 Response Jan 21, 2015


    I really ******* hate being bipolar. The mood swings are enough to ******* kill me sometimes. One minute, I'm fine, next I'm scared out of my mind, than I'm ok, than I'm back to beign severally depressed. I hate it so much. its bad for the people around me, they don't know how to...
    deleted deleted
    3 Responses Nov 4, 2010

    I Hate Been Bipolar. How Much I Love To Smash It To The Ground

    I would some time when I am changeing . And my voice is changeing . And I have to take pills to deal with it. And lost family over it . I hate it and like I said and smash it to the ground. I can not work. I can not be around people because of the noise. How much I wish I...
    ladywolf123 ladywolf123
    51-55, F
    May 29, 2012

    So Over This Mess!

    I've been diagnosed with bipolar now for almost 20 years and I'm just so over all the mood swings and people not understanding why I am sensitive. I have two sons that are now grown and I raised them on my own. I really hope & believed I was raising them right and teaching them...
    MisunderstoodBipolar MisunderstoodBipolar
    46-50, F
    1 Response Apr 8, 2013


    cronin43 cronin43
    51-55, F
    Mar 14, 2014

    WHY Me? Wtf!!

    Will someone please explain what the hell is BIPOLAR? I was diagnosed with it just two years ago and i still don't understand this disease. WHY ME? how does someone get this. I thought i had forgiven my father and everyone else. Is bipolar unforgiveness? Is it color blind? ALL my...
    summerb summerb
    41-45, F
    6 Responses Aug 29, 2009

    Hate It So Much

    ive got a month to prepare for my exams but what am i doing? Well ive been sleeping, eating, and sleeping. I feel like ****. Just two weeks a go i had a mania phase, now im part of the living dead. I am 16, i have bipolar and i dont take meds. I used to until i OD'd 3 yrs ago and...
    deleted deleted
    4 Responses Apr 9, 2011

    Out Of Everyone, WHY ME?

    Ever since I was little I thought there was something wrong with me. I was different from every single person I knew. One second I could be the happiest person you knew then the next I felt like my whole world was crumbling down into bits and pieces. Bipolar isn't something that...
    coloringmyday coloringmyday
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jul 8, 2013
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