I Hate My Husband Forum & Chat Board | Husband who doesn't like sex??

I'm sure I am the only one out there that got stuck with someone who doesn't want to have sex.  So far we are going on 5 months with nothing and that is not unusual.  We've been married for 13 1/2 years and I'd say we average 3-4 times a year.  What guy doesn't want to have sex??  He's always tired, not in the mood, or I get a sigh, rolling of the eyes and he says fine,like he'll do it just to shut me up.  Never mind!!  And no, he isn't having an affair-we work together and when he's not at work he's home-he never leaves the house.  He just has NO interest in sex.  I don't want to have an affair, but ****, I am beyond tired of being so damn frustrated.  

Thanks for letting me vent.

 

I know what you are going through. I have the same problem with my husband. I cah barely stand to be in his presence. We went to counseling and nothing has changed.  I am filling my life with outside activities that do not include him. I no longer care about his feelings, or what he does of does not do. Our relationship is over. I basically just tolerate him.

 

I know exactly what you are going through.  Last year my husband and I had sex less than 5 times for the year.  We're both young and still pretty attractive so I also am not sure what the problem is....especially since we had sex the very first time we met and our relationship STARTED based on a really active sex life.

If you find a solution lemme know - mind you at this point...I don't even want to have sex anymore.

 

Yeah, yours is not the only one.  After 19.5 years of marriage, it's been going on 2 years since my spouse and I have had 'relatiions' (and the last time before that had  been probably close to a year).   Sadly, while at one time I had the interest and desire (and even mourned the lack of intimacy in my life), after all this time...?  The idea of doing any of the sort with him now is YUCK.  Even the mere thought of it makes my skin crawl (shudders).  So yes, being treated with such disdain for so many years will do that to a person....

 

Me too. I can so relate to this. My husband and I have been married for 6 years and have rarely had sex. We have gone literally months at a time. Whenever I would try to initiate sex or try to touch him in a loving way, he would slap my hand and tell me to "Go ride the wicked finger". He has always complained about being too tired or not in the mood. I feel like I am having to beg for sex and attention and when he gives in after several months...it is like he sees it as a chore. I just don't understand it. What man could not want sex???

For years, it caused me psychological problems because I just couldn't understand. Was I not pretty enough for him? What was the problem.

One night after offering him sex and being turned down, I went to bed early. I woke up later that night and discovered that he was watching a pay-per-view ****. I went ballistic and asked him why he felt the need to rent a **** when I was freely offering him all the kinky sex he could ask for. He had no answer.

Still time passed....last year, I discovered that he has a severe only **** addiction. What is strange is that based on his taste in ****, I fit the profile of what he is attracted to......so why doesn't he want to do me???

He is an alcoholic so I think his alcohol consumption may have something to do with his low sex drive.

I'm at my wits end. I need a man's touch!! I need to feel desired. After another explosive argument last weekend over the lack of sex, I reached the point where I am seriously considering having an affair. As such, I joined an adult friend finder site. I haven't done anything yet but I think I may be tempted to. I just can't take it any more.

My mood: very confused

 

Just wanted you to know that I can relate to what you have said here. My husband treats me the same way. It is so degrading to me to have to beg him for sex and then be turned down. He has also thrown things at me. I really hate him!! If I had a way out, I would take it.

 

Seriously, I would have an affair already. Why care and regard his feelings when he obviously doesn't give a damn about yours? Trust me, whatever he won't do the next man will and life is too to feel the way you do

 

I know how horrible it is belive me.i have been married for only a year and my husnand is always too tired or not in the mood or just wants to watch tv and sleep.I'm really fed up of this life with him right now.I'm only 23 and I do need a sex life.
Being married is so hard...
I wish i could say fuking hard............
but really isnt.

 

My husband doesn't want to but he knows I really do and makes himself do it, which really isn't a turn on.  I do feel loved by his sacrifice though. 

 

I've been married 26 years and have been putting up with this.  I don't know what the problem is.  He had his progesterone checked and it's fine.  It really makes me feel horrible about my self.  I've talked to him about this till I'm blue in the face.  I've thought of having an affair, but if he doesn't want me what makes me think any one else would?

 

Definately not the only one. I'm only 29, my husband 33 (married almost 2 years), and we've been having sex a couple times a year for the past 3 years. Why'd I marry such a dud!

 

Hi, am new to the forum, but wow, what a lot of you say resonates so much with my feelings too. Have been married to current husband for 8 yrs. I have never had such a lousy sex life ever, as what i have had with him.
My previous hubby of 29yrs. died in 2000, and i stupidly rushed into this crappy relationship, and am leaving as soon as i can! Ouch!
Sometimes we don't know until we have lived with someone for a while, how it will all turn out unfortunately. Wish i had of had a crystal ball to see into the future, as i would never of committed to this.:(

 

Wow.  I was starting to feel like I was the only one in this situation.  My husband never was that into sex.  He didn't seem that interested even on our honeymoon.  We are going on 5 months without it also, not that I mind at the moment.  I hate his sorry *** so much at the moment, I could spit.  He makes my life a living hell.  If it weren't for me he'd be out on the streets, but he always has to be the one to proclaim that he HATES me.  What a loser!  I'd give anything to be married to a REAL man!

 

I feel for you.  In fact, I think I am you.  Your story is almost exactly my story.  It never occurred to me that I could ever be in this situation.  I am stuck.  Sad that you are losing sleep over it.  Pray everyday that things will improve.  My husband would rather be around men than me.  We rarely go out.  He is more into himself than me.  I am in great shape and he is fat.  How weird is that? 

 

I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one going through the same thing. I've been married for 12 years and the last time my husband and I've had sex has been 3 years. I've brought up this concern to him, but I get all these excuses and I'm tired of being alone. I've asked many times as to why? and all I get as an answer is the same answer as ,"I'm sorry", and gives me just the same excuses. I'm tired of this. I work, I do all housework, I cook for him every night , I always keep my self in an attractive way just for him. But nothing is working. It doesn't bother him at all that we have a sexless marriage. I am now at the point of becoming selfish towards him because of this. he thinks I will just have to get used to having a sexless marriage. but it's not fair. I treat him like a king, and he treats me so good. but I don't know how much longer I can keep having a lonely marriage. Im so angry that I just want to stop giving him everything on a silver platter, and me not getting any sex in return. I feel like I want to have an affair or look for a friend that I can just have sex with on he side.
I'm a nice person and he is too, but I'm really wondering if he is doing this so that I can make a mistake that would give him a reason to divorce me. But yet I always ask what is wrong and he tells me nothing. should I do less for him? Should I start doing for myself? should I no longer wash his clothes, cook, etc... For him? tired of doing all this good, for nothing... no Higgs kisses and no sex. he stays up everynight watching tv, and falls asleep on the couch with the tv on. don't know what else to do. I feel that this anger I have inside is about to change me to a mean person when I'm not.???My mood:

 

have no good advice ..probably he is just gay though =/

 

Wow I never knew a guy can be like this.
We both have same ssituation but different spouse. I am 30 year old male from new york and my wife is like your husband. Always have excuse not to have intercourse or be romantic with me. We are married for 4 years only and things have changed a lot. The worst so far was 8 months and no sex. 
I have tried every single thing but nothing is working. I clean the house, dishes, laundry, dinner, take her out, buy her flowers and still do not see anything and when i talk to her she tells me she is tired and blah blah blah and have no idea on how to fix it. we have 9 months old daughter and she is the reason that I can not take certain steps in my life right. 

 

Just going to share my experience with this subject.  I have only been married 5 years.  First 2.5 I considered the amount of sex normal for the average couple.  I prefer daily but have never pushed it because that is just wrong.  After that point.  It dwindled fast. I wouldn't straight out tell him he wasn't satisfying my but he knew.  I played the humorus "perscribe more sex" to keep him motivated.  This helped till after he returned from deployment.  He would stop and role over after he finished max 5 min later.  Not even bothering to do anything else.  After 3 times of having sex in 6 weeks and him doing that I went off on him that I am not his *** bucket.  If he can't last do forplay.  He still rarely does the activity right but we are up to at least once a week.  He will not say it but he has no confidence with sex.  He knows that he isn't good at it at this moment and like the typical guy instead of doing what is needed to improve he just mopes about it and avoids it. 

Guys ego and pride are always in the way.  Once they learn to drop them a bit all there relationships will mprove

If any guys read this.  Seriously stop blaming it on you size.  My best partner wasn't large.  He made up with skill and excitement.

 

I understand what you are feeling.  I have been with my husband for 4 years and married for the past 2 months.  When we first got together sex was great, we were having sex everyday, then it changed, now I am lucky if we have sex once a month.  I have asked him why we don't have sex anymore like we used to he said he is tired...Really tired, because he is not the one that is working.  I think he is tired from doing nothing but siting on his butt....I sometimes think about getting with my ex-husband just for sex, because he wanted it everynight, and that was great.  I do love my current husband, but there are just things that women need!!