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I Hate My Past

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 3,538 People

    But I Can't Fix It

    So, what's the point of complaining?I choose to live for now, and plan for the future.
    Serenitree Serenitree 70+, F Oct 14, 2012

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    When I was thirteen and lived in London I was a

    bad ***.I went to boarding school for people who needed discipline.I cussed out my teacher,got into a fight with the principle (if he would've called me a damn demon from hell it would've never happened) then I broke into my aunts house and was put on house arrest.I don't like...
    DopeJay DopeJay 13-15, M 1 Response Sep 6, 2014

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    There are plenty of things I've done

    that I wish I hadn't. Probably plenty of things I haven't done that I wish I had! 'Regret is an inevitable consequence of life' Don't you think?
    picklebobble picklebobble 46-50, M 1 Response Oct 30, 2014

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    ~ I Was Raped By My Uncle ~

    When I was in the 7th grade my uncle ( my dad's brother ) moved in with us , it was great at first , but one day I came home from school and my uncle was the only one there , he asked me to come to his bedroom he wanted to show me something , he told me to sit on his bed  so...
    BEAUTIFULDISASTER BEAUTIFULDISASTER 41-45, F 55 Responses Sep 8, 2006

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    Im Weighless, I Am Bare...

    I listen to Placebo a lot when I feel like my past overwhelmes me. It consumes me and it makes me feel numb towards others at times because getting close to people is what makes it hurt more. That is the beauty of having no face sometimes. I was raped when I was 16 in a pub...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response May 25, 2012

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    People Think My Life Is Perfect...

    I have always been bullied since I was just starting school but that's not the thing bothering me the most... A month before I was born my dad died... It was a bad accident and it changed my life... I will never have met my real dad and my mom is the only biological parent now...
    AngryLittlePrincess AngryLittlePrincess 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 23, 2012

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    I can't help but feel daily hatred towards the

    authority for their oppression, my parents for their participation, my high school for the bullying and my previous 'friends' for their hypocrisy. On top of that, they deprived me from the two people I loved the most: my mentor and my shadow. Then people wonder why I became so...
    DostoevskyForever DostoevskyForever 16-17, F Sep 7, 2014

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    Sometimes Its Not Worth It

    Lying in the dark looking at nothing closing your eyes and seeing the demons coming ever closer teasing and flitting around you. 'Remember' they say mockingly - 'never forget'. Turning over trying to think of something, anything...
    inneedofguidance inneedofguidance 31-35 5 Responses Sep 10, 2011

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    Dear past. Stop tapping me on the shoulder.

    I don't want to look back.
    Slowlydying16 Slowlydying16 16-17, F 3 Responses Jun 13, 2014

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    It sounds romantic, doesn't it?

    The dream of fading away, vanishing into the night and when the sun comes up you simply cease to exist, or perhaps you become somebody new. All your troubles are left behind, you can undo every single wrong thing that you've done. It's as if you get to live another life, this...
    4inthemorningdew 4inthemorningdew 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 28, 2013

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    I went to a SADD (students against destructive

    decisions) convention and speakers kept telling us that we should talk about stuff that we went through or that we are going through now. So I've decided to post my story I guess. I don't want people to feel bad for me or anything. I just needed to get it out because I've never...
    nobodyknows13 nobodyknows13 16-17, F 2 Responses a week ago

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    I Was Too Ashamed to Leave...

    I had a boyfriend, two years older, who seemed the all-american boy. He was smart, handsome, popular-- everything I wasn't in high school. I was the nerdy, frumpy, ugly duck who volunteered her weekends at soup kitchens or the library just to feel like she'd gone out at least. I...
    wolfton wolfton 18-21, F 12 Responses Oct 22, 2006

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    My Life... Please Don't Judge Me

    Starting with first things first. My mother gave me up for adoption but my grandparents ended up taking me instead of a family in Texas. That family died when I was 6. After that my mother tried to be involved in my life but never was, she couldn't even remember my birthday. Now...
    Itskaylababy Itskaylababy 22-25, F 1 Response Sep 22, 2012

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    Dear, boring one. You're a repeated

    record Hesitating on opportunities Missing life by staring at blank white walls Pondering on words you wish you said Being left out of the excitement Never being imaginative but realistic I hate He hates you She hates you Just about everyone hates you When you swallow this...
    crumbling389 crumbling389 18-21, F Dec 12, 2014

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    I Never Wanted Anyone To Know, Really...

    Someone gave me a bit of courage yesterday, to come out about my past and just tell everything. Okay...It all started when I was about 5 or 6, my parents always treated me well, but the problem was that we only spoke Russian,my sister and I didn't know a word of English so...
    XxthedarknesswillgrowxX XxthedarknesswillgrowxX 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 9, 2011

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    Some things I can't let go.

    I fake a smile even though it hurts. Yes I've heard sorry but it hurts so bad I don't even know why. It's been awhile but yet I still get so pissed off. I can't act like it bothers me or I would be just silly apparently. So what the f
    sloaned sloaned 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 12, 2014

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    I hate it when people talk about their school

    days. People get all rosary eyed and wistful telling this story and that about being happy and having fun. To my core I hate it. Usually people don't notice me go silent. It's worse when they do notice because they'll usually assume that I was popular and had no issue. I hate...
    Drcreegan Drcreegan 26-30, M 1 Response Mar 20, 2014

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    At One Time I Did

    There was a time in my llife when I would have said that I hated my past. From the time that I was a very young child up until the time that I was seventeen I dealt with abuse on many different levels. I only had one adut in my life that I did not suffer abuse from. To just make...
    washio2005 washio2005 26-30, F 1 Response Sep 24, 2011

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    And yet again I'm in the bathroom,

    on the floor crying my eyes out and at the same trying to keep quite so they don't find out. I hate it so much, been going on for 5-6 years now. Can't even stand up for myself because of him, I feel isolated, my arms don't move nor my legs. I just stand there motionless trying...
    Mixedemotions2k Mixedemotions2k 13-15, M 1 Response Feb 8

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    theres so much that has happened

    and that is still going on. when will I finally feel any kind of contentment?
    FromTheHeartOfaWoman FromTheHeartOfaWoman 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 29, 2014

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    You can see a glimpse of

    who I was looking at my earlier stories. All I wanted to do was run away but I realized it's never good to run. So I'm facing this psycho who tried to ruin my life and I will win
    UnconditionallyGone UnconditionallyGone 16-17, M 4 Responses Feb 16

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    I hate my past but I've grown

    and learned from it is what counts!
    Diamond1029 Diamond1029 16-17, F Dec 12, 2014

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    Why does our past have to haunt me

    so much??!!! Ok, I'll just come out and say it...my ex used to think it was funny and a joke to repeatedly rape me, he would slap me if I wouldn't have sex with him, all because he said he had a sex problem and needed sex... And then when I would try to escape from him and run...
    AFriend2All AFriend2All 36-40, F 3 Responses Jan 26

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    This is one of the many reasons I leave my

    counselors "unexpectedly",they get too close and they'll find out too much...
    xosydneeox xosydneeox 16-17, F Dec 25, 2013

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    Between stupid things I've done,

    stupid things that happen, and stupid things that I do because of stupid things that have happened, I've got myself constantly thinking
    Matthew7211 Matthew7211 13-15, M 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    I don't like my past

    but it made me the person I am today and never forget that u might hate your past but your past is what makes you you
    dominick6 dominick6 13-15, M Oct 4, 2014

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    toiletwater toiletwater 16-17, M Oct 20, 2014

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    It makes me not allow anything good happen to

    myself. I'm always questioning everything and jumping to conclusions cause I've seen it all before but sometimes I just need to relax and enjoy myself
    acorn288 acorn288 16-17, F Mar 24

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    Dark Cloud

    My past has always been this dark cloud that has hung over my head, one that never seems to pass, for I just don't know how to let it go. Some parts are things I've done to myself, other parts are things that have been done towards me. But all parts are things that remain in my...
    Lucidblue Lucidblue 36-40, F 12 Responses Aug 6, 2010

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    I hate how I love you.

    .. I hate it how much I trusted you I hate all that is you I hate how easily I came back to you.... I hate you for what you did I hate how much you hurt me.... I hate how you manipulated me I hate how pathetic I feel.... I love how you said you love me I love how long you...
    LeahLovee LeahLovee 16-17, F 18 mins ago

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    Brookedrumm Brookedrumm 16-17, F 1 Response Nov 3, 2014

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    I just wish I could forget

    and let go of it all ): I'm so tired of thinking about my past... Why can't I just forget? ):
    TeethTheSizeOfPianoKeys TeethTheSizeOfPianoKeys 18-21, M 1 Response Sep 18, 2014

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    But I Learned From It

    Even though I hate so much my past and how I wish it didn't happen.. I am still grateful for it because it helps me define my true self.... even though it hurts so much.. It still teach me a lifetime lesson... Happiness is a choice
    deleted deleted 26-30 Feb 25, 2013

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    Me

    I have been neglected, pimped and abandoned by my mother. I have been molested by my brother, sexually assaulted by my grandfather and father. I have been an addict, prostitute and ********. I have overcame major obstacles in life and am very lucky to be alive. I am here to share...
    PatyH PatyH 31-35, F 3 Responses Jun 12, 2012

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    I hate thanksgiving ,

    black friday nov 28 1997 i got married first time ;;((
    anasteel2 anasteel2 41-45, F Nov 28, 2014

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    The bad things: He use to curse me He was

    flirting with a girl I hated and he knew I hated her so badly and he flirted with her claiming he wasn't and I even saw the text they were sending, although he didn't do nothing but flirting He embarrassed me on the train treating me like a dog and everyone was laughing at me...
    LeahLovee LeahLovee 16-17, F 5 Responses Mar 5

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    There are sooo many things I regret doing

    and wish I could change and wonder what my life would be like if they hadn't happened but tree is always that voice in me telling me that things happen for reason and I'm glad I've had a rough past because it's brought to where I am now and made me stronger for the future but I...
    FrankieMae FrankieMae 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 22, 2014

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    My Past Defines Who I Am Today...

    My past defines who I am today and I am a good person. It has not always been easy but, it has been what I needed at the time.
    tylrhere tylrhere 46-50, F 1 Response Apr 6, 2007

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    I just can't seem to let it all go :/ It just

    keeps replaying over and over and over in my mind :/
    K33024W K33024W 13-15 1 Response Oct 29, 2014

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    Living In Sin And Hatred

    My past is filled regrets, shame, and hatred. I can't think about my past for too long or else I get severe anxiety. I have so much hate inside my past and I can't seem to get rid of it. There are so many events I wish I could redo and even more actions I wish I could undo. I...
    IamMorbid IamMorbid 18-21, M 2 Responses May 30, 2013

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    Let's just say that my growing up years was

    filled with pain and tears and alcoholic parents. And from out of this experience I learned how to be a better person and to stay away from drugs and alcohol.
    CasaBaka CasaBaka 22-25, M Dec 23, 2013

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    I was abused from a very early age

    but I'm not defeated I am a survivor not a victim they may have won the battle but I'm going to win the war x
    lchainey lchainey 22-25, F 3 Responses Mar 17, 2014

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    what I hate most about it all is

    that I should have stopped it. I was far from nieve as a child but I was isolated and I had my brother to think of. I couldnt ruin everything for him, he loved his dad and im sure in his own way his dad loved him too but he could never accept me as his. I wasnt his and though I...
    FromTheHeartOfaWoman FromTheHeartOfaWoman 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 29, 2014

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    It No Longer Controls Me

    I worked on my past a lot in therapy and now know what happened to me and why I turned out like I did. But I also learned in therapy HOW to live a better life NOW and get over my past. I can not say I am done getting over the crap that happened before but I sure am glad I have...
    jimrich jimrich 66-70, M 1 Response Feb 7, 2011

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    Not because terrible,

    tragic things happened, but because nothing happened.
    maiomeN maiomeN 16-17, F 4 Responses Oct 30, 2014

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    My Days As An Orphan

    "Natasha,...Does it hurt?" Said the boy on the bed next to me. I looked down to my hands, there wasn't really much to see since the lights were out, but I could feel the wounds and the torn skin.It was hard looking him back in the eyes. I don't remember his name really, but I do...
    NatashaBluerain NatashaBluerain 22-25, F 1 Response Sep 4, 2012

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    lilserv04 lilserv04 16-17, M Oct 1, 2014