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I Hate My Past

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 3,260 People

    My mom kidnapped my sis

    and I and took us to NC my dad and step mom knew nothing about it none of my family in Iowa knew about this but my so called "family" in NC they knew the whole time and planned with my bio mom
    mg113776 mg113776 13-15, F Mar 17

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    Im Weighless, I Am Bare...

    I listen to Placebo a lot when I feel like my past overwhelmes me. It consumes me and it makes me feel numb towards others at times because getting close to people is what makes it hurt more. That is the beauty of having no face sometimes. I was raped when I was 16 in a pub...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response May 25, 2012

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    My Days As An Orphan

    "Natasha,...Does it hurt?" Said the boy on the bed next to me. I looked down to my hands, there wasn't really much to see since the lights were out, but I could feel the wounds and the torn skin.It was hard looking him back in the eyes. I don't remember his name really, but I do...
    NatashaBluerain NatashaBluerain 22-25, F 1 Response Sep 4, 2012

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    What They Did, What I Did

    I was abused by the people who were supposed to love & protect me most. After years of abuse, I got out of that situation. So what do I do? I abuse myself---all through my teen years, drugs, drinking, sex---I put myself in situations very much like those from my early childhood...
    dollbaybey dollbaybey 36-40, F 2 Responses Jul 22, 2012

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    I confided in an old friend about

    when I was first getting my headaches, I panicked and told him I was going for a scan and I was afraid I could have a tumour because it was totally possible and instead of supporting me, he told the whole town. I was bullied relentlessly and called a liar and pathetic. From then...
    nainaii nainaii 18-21, F Jul 16

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    People Think My Life Is Perfect...

    I have always been bullied since I was just starting school but that's not the thing bothering me the most... A month before I was born my dad died... It was a bad accident and it changed my life... I will never have met my real dad and my mom is the only biological parent now...
    AngryLittlePrincess AngryLittlePrincess 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 23, 2012

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    Sometimes I think I will never get a girlfriend

    because I have a ****** up past
    dominick5 dominick5 13-15, M 1 Response Aug 1

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    Dark Cloud

    My past has always been this dark cloud that has hung over my head, one that never seems to pass, for I just don't know how to let it go. Some parts are things I've done to myself, other parts are things that have been done towards me. But all parts are things that remain in my...
    Lucidblue Lucidblue 36-40, F 12 Responses Aug 6, 2010

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    When I was thirteen and lived in London I was a

    bad ***.I went to boarding school for people who needed discipline.I cussed out my teacher,got into a fight with the principle (if he would've called me a damn demon from hell it would've never happened) then I broke into my aunts house and was put on house arrest.I don't like...
    DopeJay DopeJay 13-15, M 1 Response Sep 6

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    The only big mistake i did in my past is going

    in a relationship with a wrong girl and choosing her over my carrer. My mind got diverted from my studies and i completed my overall studies with just unacceptable aggregate marks. And even doing so much for her she says i did nothing for her. Finally she showed her true colours...
    SupasonicSandy SupasonicSandy 22-25, M Mar 30

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    It No Longer Controls Me

    I worked on my past a lot in therapy and now know what happened to me and why I turned out like I did. But I also learned in therapy HOW to live a better life NOW and get over my past. I can not say I am done getting over the crap that happened before but I sure am glad I have...
    jimrich jimrich 70+, M 1 Response Feb 7, 2011

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    But I Can't Fix It

    So, what's the point of complaining?I choose to live for now, and plan for the future.
    Serenitree Serenitree 70+, F Oct 14, 2012

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    I hate it when people talk about their school

    days. People get all rosary eyed and wistful telling this story and that about being happy and having fun. To my core I hate it. Usually people don't notice me go silent. It's worse when they do notice because they'll usually assume that I was popular and had no issue. I hate...
    Drcreegan Drcreegan 26-30, M Mar 20

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    I Never Wanted Anyone To Know, Really...

    Someone gave me a bit of courage yesterday, to come out about my past and just tell everything. Okay...It all started when I was about 5 or 6, my parents always treated me well, but the problem was that we only spoke Russian,my sister and I didn't know a word of English so...
    XxthedarknesswillgrowxX XxthedarknesswillgrowxX 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 9, 2011

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    I few month ago...hate it.

    ..mostly i get beat down at my new school...meeting teacher makes me un happy...i never put smile on my face at school
    meokeju meokeju 22-25, F Aug 29

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    My step cozin litte bother died last week.

    He was a x drug user for a year until last he did heriome and died. My step cozin found her litte dead on the floor in his room. My mom was crying over it. I didn't know him but I still feeled sad he was 24 and dried of a drugs overdotes. I thought just wow.
    dominick5 dominick5 13-15, M 3 Responses Jul 17

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    I hate my past. At the age of 5 i was molested

    and it happened again when i was 9 & 11. My uncles did this to me. I'm not really sure that time if what they did to me is normal or what. But as time flows i felt that there's something wrong they and threaten me not to tell to anyone.So i just remained silent, no one in my...
    arch777 arch777 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 13

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    People always define me by my past,

    but don't define me by my past because i don't live there anymore .
    ActuallyGrace ActuallyGrace 13-15, F 4 Responses Aug 29

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    I'm from another solar system

    and where I'm from if you screw up u have to go to earth to work, on missions- same thing Well here I am, because of my wrongs And I'm miserable I'm lonely and then I think if I let others know I'm alien it will spark up a lot of conversation , then I'm more lonely than before?
    notjustbent notjustbent 36-40, F 1 Response May 6

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    My Life... Please Don't Judge Me

    Starting with first things first. My mother gave me up for adoption but my grandparents ended up taking me instead of a family in Texas. That family died when I was 6. After that my mother tried to be involved in my life but never was, she couldn't even remember my birthday. Now...
    Itskaylababy Itskaylababy 22-25, F 1 Response Sep 22, 2012

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    I can't help but feel daily hatred towards the

    authority for their oppression, my parents for their participation, my high school for the bullying and my previous 'friends' for their hypocrisy. On top of that, they deprived me from the two people I loved the most: my mentor and my shadow. Then people wonder why I became so...
    loveVictorandDumas loveVictorandDumas 16-17, F Sep 7

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    I don't HATE it... There are some things

    that I would definitely do different if given the chance but I don't haaaaate it.
    pinkkcotton pinkkcotton 26-30, F Mar 16

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    But I Learned From It

    Even though I hate so much my past and how I wish it didn't happen.. I am still grateful for it because it helps me define my true self.... even though it hurts so much.. It still teach me a lifetime lesson... Happiness is a choice
    deleted deleted 26-30 Feb 25, 2013

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    ~ I Was Raped By My Uncle ~

    When I was in the 7th grade my uncle ( my dad's brother ) moved in with us , it was great at first , but one day I came home from school and my uncle was the only one there , he asked me to come to his bedroom he wanted to show me something , he told me to sit on his bed  so...
    BEAUTIFULDISASTER BEAUTIFULDISASTER 41-45, F 56 Responses Sep 8, 2006

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    Who I Am Today?.._x

    i know you shouldn't hate your past. your past makes me whi i am today, my past is why im here right now. but what if i don't like where i am now? or who i am? if the past was different so would i be, and so would where i'd be. i do hate my past, i do hate all the things that...
    FromTheHeartOfaWoman FromTheHeartOfaWoman 22-25, F 2 Responses Feb 5, 2008

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    Dear past. Stop tapping me on the shoulder.

    I don't want to look back.
    Slowlydying16 Slowlydying16 16-17, F 3 Responses Jun 13

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    I just wish I could forget

    and let go of it all ): I'm so tired of thinking about my past... Why can't I just forget? ):
    HisDaysAreNumbered HisDaysAreNumbered 18-21, M 1 Response Sep 18

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    I went back and re-read some of my old journals

    I wrote as a kid. It was strange, full of pride, deep in depression, full of arrogance, filled with hate and incredible loneliness. The image I had for myself at 18 was one of security and hope. I knew if I wait it'd get better. At that time all of my problems started with...
    Twichl Twichl 18-21, F Apr 5

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    My past is just horrifying

    for me. I don't want to remember it. But there are times it visits me in nightmares and creeps in my brain for days. I wasn't raped or anything like that. But I was in a very dark and lonely place for years. I seem to be better now but the darkness and loneliness are always...
    isnotdeadyet isnotdeadyet 18-21, M 1 Response Mar 13

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    Sometimes I cringe at the things

    that I've done, and I hate it when the memory just pops up when I didn't ask it to. But at the same time, it's good when it does come, because it encourages me to live better than how I did before. So, yes, I hate my past, but I also never cease to learn from it.
    Whoami30 Whoami30 26-30, M 1 Response Mar 31

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    Yea, back in the day I was just awful.

    I was one of those extremely shy, nerdy kids who didn't have any friends, couldn't talk to people, and always cried in class. I've gotten a lot better in the sense that I can talk to everybody as if we were best buddies, and I don't cry in class =_= but I'm still pretty nerdy...
    ToBeAnOtaku101 ToBeAnOtaku101 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 13

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    Me

    I have been neglected, pimped and abandoned by my mother. I have been molested by my brother, sexually assaulted by my grandfather and father. I have been an addict, prostitute and ********. I have overcame major obstacles in life and am very lucky to be alive. I am here to share...
    PatyH PatyH 31-35, F 1 Response Jun 12, 2012

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    I hate it but i'm glad i went through it.

    I would have never been the kind of person i am today.
    RandomExistence RandomExistence 13-15, M 1 Response Mar 25

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    Everyday I Would Get Sad :(

    My story isnt as horrible as some of the stories on here but for me i hate my past so i wanted to share my story. It all started when i was around 8 years old. Before that, everyday i went to school and i liked it. I had friends and it was generally a nice atmosphere. Then my...
    Lemonandlime09 Lemonandlime09 22-25, F 2 Responses Jul 28, 2012

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    All my life all I have ever wanted is to be

    loved I never thought that it was something to much to ask; Love, it should be something given to you freely never having to seek it out as if it is some sort of task. But I did, I always felt as if I had to seek it, search for it in some ways because my heart hurt deep inside...
    kari16 kari16 41-45, F 1 Response Apr 19

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    thefaultinourscars thefaultinourscars 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 29

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    This is one of the many reasons I leave my

    counselors "unexpectedly",they get too close and they'll find out too much...
    xosydneeox xosydneeox 16-17, F Dec 25, 2013

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    Sometimes Its Not Worth It

    Lying in the dark looking at nothing closing your eyes and seeing the demons coming ever closer teasing and flitting around you. 'Remember' they say mockingly - 'never forget'. Turning over trying to think of something, anything...
    inneedofguidance inneedofguidance 31-35 5 Responses Sep 10, 2011

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    I was abused from a very early age

    but I'm not defeated I am a survivor not a victim they may have won the battle but I'm going to win the war x
    lchainey lchainey 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 17

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    If I had the chance to go back

    and change it, I would.
    Samaccino Samaccino 16-17, F 1 Response Jul 30

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    I just hate almost everything

    that has happened to me in the past 2 years. The only good thing is marching band. I probably wouldnt be here with out it.
    trombonegurl trombonegurl 13-15, F Jun 8

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    I find myself constantly wishing to change the

    past, take that risk, say what I wanted, do what I should have. I know I can't change the past but I can change the future.
    shaunrain shaunrain 16-17, M Mar 17

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    I Was Too Ashamed to Leave...

    I had a boyfriend, two years older, who seemed the all-american boy. He was smart, handsome, popular-- everything I wasn't in high school. I was the nerdy, frumpy, ugly duck who volunteered her weekends at soup kitchens or the library just to feel like she'd gone out at least. I...
    wolfton wolfton 21-25, F 12 Responses Oct 22, 2006

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    My Past Defines Who I Am Today...

    My past defines who I am today and I am a good person. It has not always been easy but, it has been what I needed at the time.
    tylrhere tylrhere 46-50, F 1 Response Apr 6, 2007

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    There are sooo many things I regret doing

    and wish I could change and wonder what my life would be like if they hadn't happened but tree is always that voice in me telling me that things happen for reason and I'm glad I've had a rough past because it's brought to where I am now and made me stronger for the future but I...
    FrankieMae FrankieMae 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 22

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    At One Time I Did

    There was a time in my llife when I would have said that I hated my past. From the time that I was a very young child up until the time that I was seventeen I dealt with abuse on many different levels. I only had one adut in my life that I did not suffer abuse from. To just make...
    washio2005 washio2005 26-30, F 1 Response Sep 24, 2011

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    It sounds romantic, doesn't it?

    The dream of fading away, vanishing into the night and when the sun comes up you simply cease to exist, or perhaps you become somebody new. All your troubles are left behind, you can undo every single wrong thing that you've done. It's as if you get to live another life, this...
    4inthemorningdew 4inthemorningdew 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 28, 2013

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    I was bullied throughout my school life.

    People used to call me ugly, say I stank and when people had to sit next to me they moved to the side like I had a disease. People hated to be near me. I have always been shy and a target. School ruined my life as I have never recovered from it.
    Cazz1993 Cazz1993 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 21

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    Worst thing that can happen is

    when your past catches up with you...
    octoberfall octoberfall 16-17, F 1 Response Jul 26

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    Living In Sin And Hatred

    My past is filled regrets, shame, and hatred. I can't think about my past for too long or else I get severe anxiety. I have so much hate inside my past and I can't seem to get rid of it. There are so many events I wish I could redo and even more actions I wish I could undo. I...
    IamMorbid IamMorbid 18-21, M 3 Responses May 30, 2013

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    Trapped

    My past is what defines me. It has leeched my confidence It has destroyed my faith and trust in people It has robbed me of my ability to feel And now, my soul mate stands with me, but sometimes I can't even feel him Because I'm so wrapped up in protecting myself from myself...
    Shadowhunter64 Shadowhunter64 18-21, F 7 Responses Jun 29, 2011

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    Forward

    Memories of eternal days, Left thy heart in holy grave From hatred of unusual pay Take my soul and be brave...
    eaden594 eaden594 16-17, M Jan 15, 2013

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    Let's just say that my growing up years was

    filled with pain and tears and alcoholic parents. And from out of this experience I learned how to be a better person and to stay away from drugs and alcohol.
    CasaBaka CasaBaka 22-25, M Dec 23, 2013

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