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I Hate My Past

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 3,578 People

    It No Longer Controls Me

    I worked on my past a lot in therapy and now know what happened to me and why I turned out like I did. But I also learned in therapy HOW to live a better life NOW and get over my past. I can not say I am done getting over the crap that happened before but I sure am glad I have...
    jimrich jimrich 66-70, M 1 Response Feb 7, 2011

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    Im Weighless, I Am Bare...

    I listen to Placebo a lot when I feel like my past overwhelmes me. It consumes me and it makes me feel numb towards others at times because getting close to people is what makes it hurt more. That is the beauty of having no face sometimes. I was raped when I was 16 in a pub...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response May 25, 2012

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    My Past Defines Who I Am Today...

    My past defines who I am today and I am a good person. It has not always been easy but, it has been what I needed at the time.
    tylrhere tylrhere 46-50, F 1 Response Apr 6, 2007

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    Some things I can't let go.

    I fake a smile even though it hurts. Yes I've heard sorry but it hurts so bad I don't even know why. It's been awhile but yet I still get so pissed off. I can't act like it bothers me or I would be just silly apparently. So what the f
    sloaned sloaned 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 12, 2014

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    Who I Am Today?.._x

    i know you shouldn't hate your past. your past makes me whi i am today, my past is why im here right now. but what if i don't like where i am now? or who i am? if the past was different so would i be, and so would where i'd be. i do hate my past, i do hate all the things that...
    FromTheHeartOfaWoman FromTheHeartOfaWoman 22-25, F 2 Responses Feb 5, 2008

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    I hate thanksgiving ,

    black friday nov 28 1997 i got married first time ;;((
    anasteel2 anasteel2 41-45, F Nov 28, 2014

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    I went to a SADD (students against destructive

    decisions) convention and speakers kept telling us that we should talk about stuff that we went through or that we are going through now. So I've decided to post my story I guess. I don't want people to feel bad for me or anything. I just needed to get it out because I've never...
    nobodyknows13 nobodyknows13 16-17, F 2 Responses Mar 25

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    Dear, boring one. You're a repeated

    record Hesitating on opportunities Missing life by staring at blank white walls Pondering on words you wish you said Being left out of the excitement Never being imaginative but realistic I hate He hates you She hates you Just about everyone hates you When you swallow this...
    crumbling389 crumbling389 18-21, F Dec 12, 2014

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    People Think My Life Is Perfect...

    I have always been bullied since I was just starting school but that's not the thing bothering me the most... A month before I was born my dad died... It was a bad accident and it changed my life... I will never have met my real dad and my mom is the only biological parent now...
    AngryLittlePrincess AngryLittlePrincess 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 23, 2012

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    It sounds romantic, doesn't it?

    The dream of fading away, vanishing into the night and when the sun comes up you simply cease to exist, or perhaps you become somebody new. All your troubles are left behind, you can undo every single wrong thing that you've done. It's as if you get to live another life, this...
    4inthemorningdew 4inthemorningdew 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 28, 2013

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    Me

    I have been neglected, pimped and abandoned by my mother. I have been molested by my brother, sexually assaulted by my grandfather and father. I have been an addict, prostitute and ********. I have overcame major obstacles in life and am very lucky to be alive. I am here to share...
    PatyH PatyH 31-35, F 3 Responses Jun 12, 2012

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    And yet again I'm in the bathroom,

    on the floor crying my eyes out and at the same trying to keep quite so they don't find out. I hate it so much, been going on for 5-6 years now. Can't even stand up for myself because of him, I feel isolated, my arms don't move nor my legs. I just stand there motionless trying...
    Mixedemotions2k Mixedemotions2k 13-15, M 1 Response Feb 8

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    I have serious anger issues.

    I need to start going to a counselor! Like seriously..
    lilserv04 lilserv04 16-17, M Oct 17, 2014

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    I have a story to tell,

    one I've been holding in for the longest time. When I was 7, my 10 y/o brother was diagnosed with bacterial meningitis and was in the hospital for 8 months. My mom stayed with him the entire time. She slept in a chair, ate at the cafe every morning, and helped him get through...
    Mixedemotions2k Mixedemotions2k 13-15, M 1 Response Jan 22

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    Why can't the past be what it says it is.

    ... the PAST!? instead I get reminded of it all the time!
    overit321 overit321 26-30, F Nov 18, 2014

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    Sometimes Its Not Worth It

    Lying in the dark looking at nothing closing your eyes and seeing the demons coming ever closer teasing and flitting around you. 'Remember' they say mockingly - 'never forget'. Turning over trying to think of something, anything...
    inneedofguidance inneedofguidance 31-35 5 Responses Sep 10, 2011

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    I hate my past but I've grown

    and learned from it is what counts!
    Diamond1029 Diamond1029 16-17, F Dec 12, 2014

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    I just can't seem to let it all go :/ It just

    keeps replaying over and over and over in my mind :/
    K33024W K33024W 13-15 1 Response Oct 29, 2014

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    I was abused from a very early age

    but I'm not defeated I am a survivor not a victim they may have won the battle but I'm going to win the war x
    lchainey lchainey 22-25, F 3 Responses Mar 17, 2014

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    The bad things: He use to curse me He was

    flirting with a girl I hated and he knew I hated her so badly and he flirted with her claiming he wasn't and I even saw the text they were sending, although he didn't do nothing but flirting He embarrassed me on the train treating me like a dog and everyone was laughing at me...
    LeahLovee LeahLovee 16-17, F 5 Responses Mar 5

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    Brookedrumm Brookedrumm 16-17, F 1 Response Nov 3, 2014

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    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Oct 30, 2014

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    There are plenty of things I've done

    that I wish I hadn't. Probably plenty of things I haven't done that I wish I had! 'Regret is an inevitable consequence of life' Don't you think?
    picklebobble picklebobble 46-50, M 1 Response Oct 30, 2014

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    what I hate most about it all is

    that I should have stopped it. I was far from nieve as a child but I was isolated and I had my brother to think of. I couldnt ruin everything for him, he loved his dad and im sure in his own way his dad loved him too but he could never accept me as his. I wasnt his and though I...
    FromTheHeartOfaWoman FromTheHeartOfaWoman 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 29, 2014

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    I pray that I never run into you

    because it still hurts. I hope to move past the pain, and continue on with my life.
    unreciprocated unreciprocated 36-40, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    toiletwater toiletwater 16-17, M Oct 20, 2014

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    ~ I Was Raped By My Uncle ~

    When I was in the 7th grade my uncle ( my dad's brother ) moved in with us , it was great at first , but one day I came home from school and my uncle was the only one there , he asked me to come to his bedroom he wanted to show me something , he told me to sit on his bed  so...
    BEAUTIFULDISASTER BEAUTIFULDISASTER 41-45, F 56 Responses Sep 8, 2006

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    I hate how I love you.

    .. I hate it how much I trusted you I hate all that is you I hate how easily I came back to you.... I hate you for what you did I hate how much you hurt me.... I hate how you manipulated me I hate how pathetic I feel.... I love how you said you love me I love how long you...
    LeahLovee LeahLovee 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 1

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    You can see a glimpse of

    who I was looking at my earlier stories. All I wanted to do was run away but I realized it's never good to run. So I'm facing this psycho who tried to ruin my life and I will win
    UnconditionallyGone UnconditionallyGone 16-17, M 4 Responses Feb 16

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    Why does our past have to haunt me

    so much??!!! Ok, I'll just come out and say it...my ex used to think it was funny and a joke to repeatedly rape me, he would slap me if I wouldn't have sex with him, all because he said he had a sex problem and needed sex... And then when I would try to escape from him and run...
    AFriend2All AFriend2All 36-40, F 3 Responses Jan 26

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    Everything I have wrote about is my past.

    I have trouble escaping it. Maybe it's because of someone showing me a new way of life, or someone else trying to end it. But, no matter what it's always on my mind. Sometimes I'm afraid I'll never escape it. Other times I believe in the power of love and the power within me...
    UnconditionallyGone UnconditionallyGone 16-17, M 1 Response Oct 29, 2014

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    I hate it when people talk about their school

    days. People get all rosary eyed and wistful telling this story and that about being happy and having fun. To my core I hate it. Usually people don't notice me go silent. It's worse when they do notice because they'll usually assume that I was popular and had no issue. I hate...
    Drcreegan Drcreegan 26-30, M 1 Response Mar 20, 2014

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    I just wish that I could undo some things.

    Not that I haven't learned from them or am stronger or w/e because of it.Its just, lifelong consequences really suck.I think the worst part of it is a part of myself refuses to forgive myself .Sometimes when things don't work out I say, "Yea I guess I deserve that." Even though...
    RafaReu RafaReu 22-25, M 1 Response Apr 16

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    But I Can't Fix It

    So, what's the point of complaining?I choose to live for now, and plan for the future.
    Serenitree Serenitree 70+, F Oct 14, 2012

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    But I Learned From It

    Even though I hate so much my past and how I wish it didn't happen.. I am still grateful for it because it helps me define my true self.... even though it hurts so much.. It still teach me a lifetime lesson... Happiness is a choice
    deleted deleted 26-30 Feb 25, 2013

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    What They Did, What I Did

    I was abused by the people who were supposed to love & protect me most. After years of abuse, I got out of that situation. So what do I do? I abuse myself---all through my teen years, drugs, drinking, sex---I put myself in situations very much like those from my early childhood...
    dollbaybey dollbaybey 36-40, F 2 Responses Jul 22, 2012

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    I Never Wanted Anyone To Know, Really...

    Someone gave me a bit of courage yesterday, to come out about my past and just tell everything. Okay...It all started when I was about 5 or 6, my parents always treated me well, but the problem was that we only spoke Russian,my sister and I didn't know a word of English so...
    XxthedarknesswillgrowxX XxthedarknesswillgrowxX 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 9, 2011

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    My Life... Please Don't Judge Me

    Starting with first things first. My mother gave me up for adoption but my grandparents ended up taking me instead of a family in Texas. That family died when I was 6. After that my mother tried to be involved in my life but never was, she couldn't even remember my birthday. Now...
    Itskaylababy Itskaylababy 22-25, F 1 Response Sep 22, 2012

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    I Was Too Ashamed to Leave...

    I had a boyfriend, two years older, who seemed the all-american boy. He was smart, handsome, popular-- everything I wasn't in high school. I was the nerdy, frumpy, ugly duck who volunteered her weekends at soup kitchens or the library just to feel like she'd gone out at least. I...
    wolfton wolfton 18-21, F 12 Responses Oct 22, 2006

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    At One Time I Did

    There was a time in my llife when I would have said that I hated my past. From the time that I was a very young child up until the time that I was seventeen I dealt with abuse on many different levels. I only had one adut in my life that I did not suffer abuse from. To just make...
    washio2005 washio2005 26-30, F 1 Response Sep 24, 2011

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    I hate my past and I blame it

    for who I am. I grew up too fast and ended up trying to fill a void my parents left in my heart, it led me to lot of bad decisions I regret and its a habit I cant shake anymore. And now I scare myself. To cope with this aching heart personality because of my rough childhood I...
    RawrrItsAlexa RawrrItsAlexa 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 5

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    Pretty soon my life will have been forgotten

    and I will be nothing more then, The Past.
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jan 1

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    Dark Cloud

    My past has always been this dark cloud that has hung over my head, one that never seems to pass, for I just don't know how to let it go. Some parts are things I've done to myself, other parts are things that have been done towards me. But all parts are things that remain in my...
    Lucidblue Lucidblue 36-40, F 12 Responses Aug 6, 2010

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    I always try and tell myself

    that "yesterday's history, tomorrow's a mystery"
    SpaceGlitch SpaceGlitch 16-17, F 1 Response 8 hrs ago

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    I wish I could just forget the past.

    It hurts way too much.
    Mariegirl1984 Mariegirl1984 31-35, F 2 Responses 12 hrs ago

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    My Days As An Orphan

    "Natasha,...Does it hurt?" Said the boy on the bed next to me. I looked down to my hands, there wasn't really much to see since the lights were out, but I could feel the wounds and the torn skin.It was hard looking him back in the eyes. I don't remember his name really, but I do...
    NatashaBluerain NatashaBluerain 22-25, F 1 Response Sep 4, 2012

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