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I Hate Who I've Become

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 158 People

    Life Was Good

    I'm a 22 year old guy who use to love life, but not so much anymore. Thru out Jr.  High and High School I had tons of friends, was popular, hot girlfriend, and just was loving life. When i graduated it seemed like i lost everything. in my first two months of college my high...
    lifewasgood05 lifewasgood05 18-21 2 Responses Jun 9, 2009

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    I Hate Who I've Become And It Makes Me Upset

    I can't say I can ever remember what the feeling of 'genuine' happiness is like. I should be "happy", but I am really not. I feel that everything around me has changed, but people say that I have changed. They say I have grown bitter and more resentful, as it were... I keep...
    bluebarker bluebarker 18-21, M 2 Responses Nov 24, 2010

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    My Innocence Is Gone

    I hate how my life has change since i entered college. I was soo full of life, innocent in every way, bubblely and full of life. Now, im *****, i hate what i do, i feel like i degrace people and not that possitive. You see....i was a victim of bullying in my middle school. People...
    Hopefull522 Hopefull522 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 6, 2012

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    My Oh So "Wonderful Life"

    from the high school football star my sophomore year to 100 pounds heavier 3 years later. the honor student to the college dropout. i dont even know where to begin. my smart and perfect Dr. brother, and my achieving sister theres nothing but a joke i had life by the horns...
    dave324543 dave324543 18-21 Jun 30, 2013

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    The Past.

    I was looking through my picture from about four years ago. I looked at how I was, how I dressed, what I did, and how I felt. How did I end up like this? When did I start caring so much about my hair, about my body, how I look? I miss being able to wear jeans and a sweater...
    imgettingthere imgettingthere 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 20, 2011

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    What Happened To Me?

    I've become a cruel hateful person. Often in school I say things like "kill yourself" and "God youre a ******* idiot" to people who annoy me. I've never said anything to anyone's face, only around my friends. One friend has confronted me about it, saying she doesn't like it when...
    yourkissawitheredrose yourkissawitheredrose 18-21, F May 11, 2013

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    I Am Looking For The Light At The End Of The Tunnel But All I See Is The Train Approaching

    hi everyone!!! i just woke up on this beautiful sunny day and decided that i need to reach out to somebody about how i feel. everyone has their problems but i love people and all of humanity. we need to take care of eachother and find happiness in life. i am a 22 years old and...
    runningsensation runningsensation 22-25, M 2 Responses Jan 6, 2013

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    I'm Just A Bad Person But Never Used To Be

    Not long ago I left a girl in England to be with the love of my life in Scotland. I don't regret doing this but I do regret how I went about it. I lied to a lot of people to make things easier but now these people know the truth, they hate me. My partner is pregnant which I'm...
    James112358 James112358 31-35 Dec 3, 2010

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    Self-hating Mistrust And Pessimism

    I am one whom you have to come to love with so blindly and I am one whom you will learn to hate. Eventually. You think it’s a far off cry from where we are now—but it’s inevitable. One day the walls will fall apart, revealing the crumbling foundation within. You think I’m...
    GenineFilS GenineFilS 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 16, 2012

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    I Pretty Much Hate Myself.

    If I walked into a room I wouldn't talk to me. I wouldn't even think of talking to me. I'd just judge me. Like "oh, look at that *****, She thinks she's so hot. She never smiles and ew, look at her stomach. haha what a loser." I do that about evryone, so why wouldn't I do it aout...
    pjanoo pjanoo 16-17 2 Responses Mar 17, 2009

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    What The F*** Am I Doing?

    Is it sadder not to know how your life got f'ed or not know? Cuz I kno. Just 1 regret I have for my whole life. I shouldn't have hit them and then lost that job. It caused such a downward spiral. And obstacles just seemed to manifest themselves out of no where, one after another...
    SolaceNeeded SolaceNeeded 22-25, M May 31, 2010

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    I Never Really Had A Chance

    I never got to have much of a childhood so now I'm in college, my social skills are lousy at best, I haven't gotten laid since the 1st week here, and that was with a total ***** and it wasn't that good anyway. I don't have any real friends, and I'm extremely depressed since it's...
    mpkgoblin mpkgoblin 18-21 Nov 11, 2010

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    This is one "experience" I crave to delete.

    I'll need to overcome this self hatred and sense of being a failure first though -- which may take awhile. I guess i'm so lost now, I can't even wrap the concept that my emotions are eating me from the inside-out. It's a vicious cycle I submit myself to. Somehow I suppose, it's...
    100397354HC 100397354HC 16-17 Nov 25, 2014

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    This Is Terribel

    I hate who I've become.  I grew up with such dreams.  I was going to change the world and make somethign happen.  I was going to make a differnce.  I'm only 22 but it still seems so futile.  I cant' do anythign to change how th world works.  I...
    natecambo natecambo 22-25 Dec 25, 2009

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    How Nothingness Feels And Not What To Become :) Remade

    I can't remind myself how happiness feels like, it's not that I hate everything, or a lot, normally I don't hate anything, expect when I a m angry, which is not very often. I just don't know how happiness has felt like, I can't remember. I am healthy and strong. Still I feel...
    zerohunter00001 zerohunter00001 22-25 1 Response Oct 23, 2013

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    This Isn't Me

    I look at who I've become and all I can say is this is t me. I used to be the conservative prude who had boyfriends but didnt hookup. But since the summer started that's all that I've done. But that isn't the part that kills me. The things people say about me make me want to...
    TheGirlWithTheBrokenSmile TheGirlWithTheBrokenSmile 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 13, 2012

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    Recently I've noticed

    that I'm not proud of the person I've grown up to be. I'm almost 19 and I should be heavily invested in college and getting scholarships but instead I spend my time playing video games and watching Netflix. I'm lazy and not motivated to do anything. I joke around way too much...
    ElMusiciano ElMusiciano 18-21, M 2 Responses Sep 22, 2014

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    I Don't Know What Happened

    I hate how I can never bring myself to say what I really mean. I feel like I'm lying, in a way. Everyone thinks I'm really nice, but I think I can find three bad things about everyone I supposedly like. I don't want anyone to hate me, but I hate lots of people. I feel like such...
    TrafalgarLaw TrafalgarLaw 13-15, F Oct 13, 2012

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    This Is Not Me!

    I'm 42 years old with two degrees in engineering, neither of which I'm very knowledgeable. My credit is trashed because of gambling problem. I filed bankruptcy 3 years ago, but my case was dismissed. That means that even though I filed bankruptcy (which cost about $7000), it's...
    Number198712001 Number198712001 41-45, M 2 Responses Apr 30, 2010

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    Who Am I?

    I want to say, "I hate my life", but, who am I to say that?The reality is however, I really do hate my life.  I want to write my story, but I don't know where to start.  I had a crap childhood & was sexually abused by 3 different people for around 6 years.  I was bullied for...
    vorlockfoss vorlockfoss 36-40 2 Responses Sep 12, 2011

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    :(

    Share my story? This is probably the most difficult story I've ever had to write. I hate who I've become. I look in the mirror and think 'Who is that person staring back at me?' The things I've done to that poor guy and how in the world he still cares is beyond me. I for one...
    LeaveAndTakeMeWithYou LeaveAndTakeMeWithYou 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 21, 2008

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    I never thought things would be this way.

    I always wanted to leave here but seem so stuck. I've become exactly what I hate.
    dillont dillont 26-30, M Apr 6, 2014

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    Smash Myself To Pieces

    I'm a bigger loser than you.  I graduated from school and can't find a job.  It took me almost 10 years to get through college.  I have a useless BA degree from a 4 year university.  I stopped practcing to make myself better, stopped working out to make...
    ugly00monkey00spy ugly00monkey00spy 26-30, M 2 Responses May 8, 2010

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    I'm Not Myself Anymore

    I am not myself anymore. I think I've become the exact person who I didn't want to be. A great example of this is what happened yesterday. A couple of my friends know what happened. I felt like I was full of stupidity, ugly, unloved, unwanted, and something else I'm not going to...
    trueheartis2cool trueheartis2cool 36-40, F Oct 16, 2011

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    Weaker

    I feel so much weaker then how i use to be. Though very few people know who i was in my past.
    Arorin Arorin 22-25, M Feb 14, 2009

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    I'll Never See It The Same Again

    Attention. Recognition. Just the feeling of someone knowing where you are at all times. It's euphoric. Isn't it? We all LOVE recognition. But at what cost are we willing to be recognized? I had it all. A girl who loved me, who I loved with all my heart. Friends, who would stop...
    MadroxideFreak MadroxideFreak 18-21, M Nov 30, 2010

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    Related Experiences

    More than enough happened with me in last 2 months. At first I thought it's just destroying me. I became depressed and suicidal and a total loner. But then I begun to find myself...
    chocolateinmyblood chocolateinmyblood 16-17 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    I don't know what I've become anymore. I'm just so tired. I had a little drink and got buzzed I call my boyfriend because I miss him and he said he doesn't wanna talk to me when I...
    XxDeadlyAngelxX XxDeadlyAngelxX 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 3

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    I am strong because of what I've been through. My problems although they've caused me deep unbearable pain, shape me into who I am and who I want to be. I want to look back on my...
    EleanorSmithson EleanorSmithson 18-21, F 4 Responses Jan 27

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    I won't back down from an argument if i feel like you're attacking me. There are pros and cons to this, I'm very head strong, don't expect an apology if you're just going to place...
    YellowLilyPad YellowLilyPad 22-25, F Feb 16

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    people just don't get it. Like I feel so ******* bad that I broke a promise that I made and I was intent on keeping but it killed me that people who have made the same promise don...
    yoursecretlifestyle yoursecretlifestyle 13-15, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    The pictures above indicate what my fake Mother's boyfriend's Father did because of her lies. She told these "men", and their families that I was a product of an African American...
    ONESTARRYSTARRYNIGHT ONESTARRYSTARRYNIGHT 26-30, F Feb 5

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    I'm not gay but I've stood up for them. I hate when people say things like "that's so gay". People have judged me for this, even my mom was scared... Lol
    HelloOverThere HelloOverThere 13-15, M 2 Responses Feb 17

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    Lying in bed, listening to Love Me Like You Do by Ellie Goulding and for some reason I can't stop thinking about you tonight. I miss you so much and as much as I hate to admit it I...
    Jenezebel Jenezebel 26-30, F Feb 17

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    Dear everyone... I don't understand why people nowadays trying to compete to become the perfect person in this universe by show off their wealth in every social media ? I wanted...
    Deaval01 Deaval01 18-21, F 2 Responses a week ago

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    I feel so lost, and I just do not know where I am or where I should go. Not physically lost; I am in my parent's house, in the town we've lived in for five years, in the country I...
    illtravelled illtravelled 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 31

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    I just don't fit in with the people around me. I'm a minority and the people i live around are close minded and even racist. My city is non-diverse so everywhere i go i stick out...
    ThePrettyOnee ThePrettyOnee 13-15, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    Every last one of my hardships in my life have shaped me to be the woman that I am today I don't regret anything that I've gone through because it taught me a lesson I hold my head...
    Shai75 Shai75 36-40, F 4 Responses Feb 5

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    after 8 years of being with a man I met as a sophomore in high school when I was fifteen I'm now 22 and I've been through more than I've ever imagined. he cheated on me for 3 years...
    kjndlani1213 kjndlani1213 22-25, F 3 Responses Feb 9

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    I think I've never had a true friend before. You know, those kind who stand by you no matter what. I don't think I could really trust anyone so much they can use it against me. I...
    BlackRosesAmongLilies BlackRosesAmongLilies 13-15 1 Response Feb 13

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    "I am whatever you say i am, if i wasn't then why would you say i am?. . ." i love eminem's old music, their deep with strong messages. I grew up listening to him ("thanks" big sis...
    akahoshir akahoshir 18-21, F 3 days ago

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    It would be amazing to have someone who cares enough about me to point out little things I do that I've never noticed. To have someone who knows all my flaws but doesn't try to...
    Ellytheoutcast Ellytheoutcast 13-15, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    I am a 12 year old boy who has been bullied all my life. I don't have any physical or mental problems from it...at least not yet. I have yet to find a girl who I think appreciates...
    QBWR QBWR 13-15, M 1 Response Feb 12

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    As a teenager growing up in society, people don't necessarily see what it's like to go through some things that I deal with. In general, a lot of teens have depression. What kills...
    bemyforeverlove97 bemyforeverlove97 16-17, F 1 Response Feb 17

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    This topic always goes through my mind. Who am I really? I've changed so much for someone who wasn't worth my heartaches and tears, for a reason so stupid. Now I lay here confused...
    MoshItUpPOTATOES MoshItUpPOTATOES 16-17, M Feb 17

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    I wouldn't know how to handle life and it's tough situations had I not been through what I've been through growing up. It made me who I am today.
    Born2Inspire Born2Inspire 18-21, M Feb 18

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    From the outside it seems like I have everything. I know I can never get the job I want because of what I've done in my past but I can't tell anyone because I don't want to be...
    onetimepost onetimepost 22-25, M Feb 19

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