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I Hate Who I've Become

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 146 People

    How Nothingness Feels And Not What To Become :) Remade

    I can't remind myself how happiness feels like, it's not that I hate everything, or a lot, normally I don't hate anything, expect when I a m angry, which is not very often. I just don't know how happiness has felt like, I can't remember. I am healthy and strong. Still I feel...
    zerohunter00001 zerohunter00001 18-21 Oct 23, 2013

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    Self-hating Mistrust And Pessimism

    I am one whom you have to come to love with so blindly and I am one whom you will learn to hate. Eventually. You think it’s a far off cry from where we are now—but it’s inevitable. One day the walls will fall apart, revealing the crumbling foundation within. You think I’m...
    GenineFilS GenineFilS 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 16, 2012

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    This Is Terribel

    I hate who I've become.  I grew up with such dreams.  I was going to change the world and make somethign happen.  I was going to make a differnce.  I'm only 22 but it still seems so futile.  I cant' do anythign to change how th world works.  I...
    natecambo natecambo 22-25 Dec 25, 2009

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    Life Was Good

    I'm a 22 year old guy who use to love life, but not so much anymore. Thru out Jr.  High and High School I had tons of friends, was popular, hot girlfriend, and just was loving life. When i graduated it seemed like i lost everything. in my first two months of college my high...
    lifewasgood05 lifewasgood05 18-21 2 Responses Jun 9, 2009

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    :(

    Share my story? This is probably the most difficult story I've ever had to write. I hate who I've become. I look in the mirror and think 'Who is that person staring back at me?' The things I've done to that poor guy and how in the world he still cares is beyond me. I for one...
    LeaveAndTakeMeWithYou LeaveAndTakeMeWithYou 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 21, 2008

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    This Is Not Me!

    I'm 42 years old with two degrees in engineering, neither of which I'm very knowledgeable. My credit is trashed because of gambling problem. I filed bankruptcy 3 years ago, but my case was dismissed. That means that even though I filed bankruptcy (which cost about $7000), it's...
    Number198712001 Number198712001 41-45, M 2 Responses Apr 30, 2010

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    I never thought things would be this way.

    I always wanted to leave here but seem so stuck. I've become exactly what I hate.
    dillont dillont 26-30, M Apr 6

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    This Isn't Me

    I look at who I've become and all I can say is this is t me. I used to be the conservative prude who had boyfriends but didnt hookup. But since the summer started that's all that I've done. But that isn't the part that kills me. The things people say about me make me want to...
    TheGirlWithTheBrokenSmile TheGirlWithTheBrokenSmile 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 13, 2012

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    Who Am I?

    I want to say, "I hate my life", but, who am I to say that?The reality is however, I really do hate my life.  I want to write my story, but I don't know where to start.  I had a crap childhood & was sexually abused by 3 different people for around 6 years.  I was bullied for...
    vorlockfoss vorlockfoss 36-40 1 Response Sep 12, 2011

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    What Happened To Me?

    I've become a cruel hateful person. Often in school I say things like "kill yourself" and "God youre a ******* idiot" to people who annoy me. I've never said anything to anyone's face, only around my friends. One friend has confronted me about it, saying she doesn't like it when...
    yourkissawitheredrose yourkissawitheredrose 18-21, F May 11, 2013

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    What The F*** Am I Doing?

    Is it sadder not to know how your life got f'ed or not know? Cuz I kno. Just 1 regret I have for my whole life. I shouldn't have hit them and then lost that job. It caused such a downward spiral. And obstacles just seemed to manifest themselves out of no where, one after another...
    SolaceNeeded SolaceNeeded 22-25, M May 31, 2010

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    Smash Myself To Pieces

    I'm a bigger loser than you.  I graduated from school and can't find a job.  It took me almost 10 years to get through college.  I have a useless BA degree from a 4 year university.  I stopped practcing to make myself better, stopped working out to make...
    ugly00monkey00spy ugly00monkey00spy 26-30, M 2 Responses May 8, 2010

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    The Past.

    I was looking through my picture from about four years ago. I looked at how I was, how I dressed, what I did, and how I felt. How did I end up like this? When did I start caring so much about my hair, about my body, how I look? I miss being able to wear jeans and a sweater...
    imgettingthere imgettingthere 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 20, 2011

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    I'm Just A Bad Person But Never Used To Be

    Not long ago I left a girl in England to be with the love of my life in Scotland. I don't regret doing this but I do regret how I went about it. I lied to a lot of people to make things easier but now these people know the truth, they hate me. My partner is pregnant which I'm...
    James112358 James112358 31-35 Dec 3, 2010

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    I Don't Know What Happened

    I hate how I can never bring myself to say what I really mean. I feel like I'm lying, in a way. Everyone thinks I'm really nice, but I think I can find three bad things about everyone I supposedly like. I don't want anyone to hate me, but I hate lots of people. I feel like such...
    TrafalgarLaw TrafalgarLaw 13-15, F Oct 13, 2012

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    Weaker

    I feel so much weaker then how i use to be. Though very few people know who i was in my past.
    Arorin Arorin 22-25, M Feb 14, 2009

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    I'll Never See It The Same Again

    Attention. Recognition. Just the feeling of someone knowing where you are at all times. It's euphoric. Isn't it? We all LOVE recognition. But at what cost are we willing to be recognized? I had it all. A girl who loved me, who I loved with all my heart. Friends, who would stop...
    MadroxideFreak MadroxideFreak 18-21, M Nov 30, 2010

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    I Am Looking For The Light At The End Of The Tunnel But All I See Is The Train Approaching

    hi everyone!!! i just woke up on this beautiful sunny day and decided that i need to reach out to somebody about how i feel. everyone has their problems but i love people and all of humanity. we need to take care of eachother and find happiness in life. i am a 22 years old and...
    runningsensation runningsensation 22-25, M 1 Response Jan 6, 2013

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    My Oh So "Wonderful Life"

    from the high school football star my sophomore year to 100 pounds heavier 3 years later. the honor student to the college dropout. i dont even know where to begin. my smart and perfect Dr. brother, and my achieving sister theres nothing but a joke i had life by the horns...
    dave324543 dave324543 18-21 Jun 30, 2013

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    I Never Really Had A Chance

    I never got to have much of a childhood so now I'm in college, my social skills are lousy at best, I haven't gotten laid since the 1st week here, and that was with a total ***** and it wasn't that good anyway. I don't have any real friends, and I'm extremely depressed since it's...
    mpkgoblin mpkgoblin 18-21 Nov 11, 2010

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    My Innocence Is Gone

    I hate how my life has change since i entered college. I was soo full of life, innocent in every way, bubblely and full of life. Now, im *****, i hate what i do, i feel like i degrace people and not that possitive. You see....i was a victim of bullying in my middle school. People...
    Hopefull522 Hopefull522 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 6, 2012

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    I Pretty Much Hate Myself.

    If I walked into a room I wouldn't talk to me. I wouldn't even think of talking to me. I'd just judge me. Like "oh, look at that *****, She thinks she's so hot. She never smiles and ew, look at her stomach. haha what a loser." I do that about evryone, so why wouldn't I do it aout...
    pjanoo pjanoo 16-17 2 Responses Mar 17, 2009

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    I Hate Who I've Become And It Makes Me Upset

    I can't say I can ever remember what the feeling of 'genuine' happiness is like. I should be "happy", but I am really not. I feel that everything around me has changed, but people say that I have changed. They say I have grown bitter and more resentful, as it were... I keep...
    bluebarker bluebarker 18-21, M 2 Responses Nov 24, 2010

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    Related Experiences

    It seems the more I am who I am, the less anyone wants to do with me. I'm so negative, I push everyone away because I make everyone feel bad. I can't help hating myself, it's been...
    dizlasthope dizlasthope 36-40, M Mar 29

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    This is so true and after awhile I just don't care anymore because I love who I am and who I've become (:
    hitthelightsnow hitthelightsnow 22-25, F 4 days ago

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    BFF and I met years ago at work. Actually, durning the most stressful and trying training of our careers. I want to be vague on here. We supported each other. I know myself fairly...
    Nerdbooklover Nerdbooklover 26-30, F a week ago

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    I literally just HATE the person I've turned into. I know that I'm young and all, anyways, here's my story. Since the third grade, I've always been at the top of my class. I've...
    mintlover mintlover 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 23

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    I don't want to sound like a dunce, I'm sure the first reaction to this post will make many recoil. It will not be written well because it's coming straight without editing. I...
    ryukyu ryukyu 26-30, M Apr 9

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    I hate it, i thought i'd be more than this but i work for a **** wage at a **** grocery store. Sorry but there's a few thing I have to rant about. One it smells. For many...
    stryk stryk 31-35, M 6 days ago

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    Sometimes it is hard to see myself as strong, as a survivor. I am not a physical survivor but emotionally I know I have endured and prospered under a lot of terrible circumstances...
    lauren71 lauren71 41-45, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    Ever feel like you've been living in the wrong Era or generation? yeah that's me. All my life. When people describe me their aren't any words. But your just.. you. I've always been...
    Iesha94 Iesha94 18-21, F Mar 27

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    I just wanted to tell you a little about myself before you add me or I add you to circles. I am starting over completely on this site. I left this site because of the extreme...
    ReginaRegan ReginaRegan 18-21, F Mar 22

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    I thought I was happy with who I was, what I'm doing, how I'm doing it. But I suddenly feel, and quite arrogantly I admit, that I am more than what I have become. I may be 20 years...
    Ryanholmes20375 Ryanholmes20375 18-21, M Mar 24

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    It sucks when you're ignored by the person whose attention is the only thing you want in the world. Ever since this girl first walked into our school, I couldn’t take my eyes...
    elugo123456789 elugo123456789 18-21, M Apr 1

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    I don't like depressing people, but I've figured out that I'm one of them. People call me a genius, which I believe I am. But I don't think people has seen the true genius in which...
    kodatimes kodatimes 13-15, M 1 Response Apr 3

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    I once read an interesting perspective about the people you will encounter in your life, it states: "25% of people you meet: will never like you; 25% of people you meet: won't...
    FussBox FussBox 26-30, F Apr 7

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    I've had a pretty stressful day. I went to my 1st CBT appointment today and it was good.
    sumsmit sumsmit 26-30 Apr 11

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    I've been through hell and back. My life was a war zone filled with enemies that I couldn't control. Each enemy took a piece of my soul that I can't retrieve. I was hurt millions...
    deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses Mar 23

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    Story of my life. I miss her everyday, I love her so much and hope that she's okay, But she doesn't know just how much i care, what i feel with her when we talk is rare, I guess...
    Islandkween Islandkween 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 31

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    I've had three unsuccessful suicide attempts, I have borderline personality disorder, depression and anxiety. I suffer with bulimia and anorexia. I have also abused laxatives in...
    kristinaloo kristinaloo 18-21, F Apr 2

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    I've gained a lot of weight cz of my pregnancy which is yeah...NORMAL. I'm just insecure I guess. I feel like no one finds me attractive anymore...even my husband. Well, he still...
    TheRascalScribbles TheRascalScribbles 31-35, F 4 Responses 2 days ago

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    My family doesn't like me. Don't worry, they love me. They just don't like my person. I'm a mildly emo punk rocker who has a bisexual girlfriend and doesn't like sports, and my...
    palant palant 13-15, M Mar 22

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    Yes, I've still been trying to define myself. But it is very hard for me these days. I need some way to learn to realize that life only comes once, and life is temporary too. Life...
    lovetorule lovetorule 18-21, F Mar 31

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    As the weeks and months pass I find myself becoming more lost without purpose or place. I used to define myself by what I considered meaningful or.....purposeful, a reason to get...
    fadedmind fadedmind 26-30, M Apr 2

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    Tonight is the first time in years that I've been accepted by new people for the fact that I am a virgin. For years I've been experiencing verbal abuse because I have kept my...
    SeaunAtchison SeaunAtchison 18-21, M 1 Response Apr 12

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    More people need to realize that they don't live for others, and that they shouldn't let society mold them into a person that "fits in" with the rest. Fitting in isn't necessary...
    XxSempiternalxX XxSempiternalxX 13-15, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    When I was little , I always wanted to be a princess.. I had such high hopes for myself . I remember looking at models and thinking I was going to look as perfevt as them . I never...
    BelieveTheEscape BelieveTheEscape 13-15, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    I feel like over the last 5 years I've changed drastically ... I'm only 19 ..( 20 in May ) but over these last couple of years, I feel like I've evolved one step closer into the...
    Patval1933 Patval1933 18-21, M 1 Response Mar 23

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    I've never really tried or paid any attention to guys until this past year when one of my relatives asked me why I was still single... I had no answer besides that I was busy with...
    fgarci04 fgarci04 18-21, F Mar 25

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    I've ****** myself up, I've disappointed myself every step of the way. I just wish I could start again the same way but not make all those mistakes I made in my life. I've done...
    HydroChronexia HydroChronexia 13-15, F Apr 2

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    I've had this mask pasted on my face many times, but I've found ways to melt the glue and move on with my life <3
    Boo37 Boo37 13-15, F Apr 6

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    I've been sad for a couple of days now and im just on my own like I don't even like hanging with my squad and I don't know why and I just need a friend or somebody who is nice I...
    iloveyoutooboo iloveyoutooboo 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 11

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    There are soo many people judging. Every day someone is judge by a billion people and I just want to say DON'T JUDGE ME because you have no idea who I am I could be any one and its...
    silence13 silence13 13-15, F 2 Responses Mar 21

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