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I Hate Who I've Become

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 146 People

    This Is Not Me!

    I'm 42 years old with two degrees in engineering, neither of which I'm very knowledgeable. My credit is trashed because of gambling problem. I filed bankruptcy 3 years ago, but my case was dismissed. That means that even though I filed bankruptcy (which cost about $7000), it's...
    Number198712001 Number198712001 41-45, M 2 Responses Apr 30, 2010

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    Life Was Good

    I'm a 22 year old guy who use to love life, but not so much anymore. Thru out Jr.  High and High School I had tons of friends, was popular, hot girlfriend, and just was loving life. When i graduated it seemed like i lost everything. in my first two months of college my high...
    lifewasgood05 lifewasgood05 18-21 2 Responses Jun 9, 2009

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    I'll Never See It The Same Again

    Attention. Recognition. Just the feeling of someone knowing where you are at all times. It's euphoric. Isn't it? We all LOVE recognition. But at what cost are we willing to be recognized? I had it all. A girl who loved me, who I loved with all my heart. Friends, who would stop...
    MadroxideFreak MadroxideFreak 18-21, M Nov 30, 2010

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    Self-hating Mistrust And Pessimism

    I am one whom you have to come to love with so blindly and I am one whom you will learn to hate. Eventually. You think it’s a far off cry from where we are now—but it’s inevitable. One day the walls will fall apart, revealing the crumbling foundation within. You think I’m...
    GenineFilS GenineFilS 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 16, 2012

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    I'm Just A Bad Person But Never Used To Be

    Not long ago I left a girl in England to be with the love of my life in Scotland. I don't regret doing this but I do regret how I went about it. I lied to a lot of people to make things easier but now these people know the truth, they hate me. My partner is pregnant which I'm...
    James112358 James112358 31-35 Dec 3, 2010

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    How Nothingness Feels And Not What To Become :) Remade

    I can't remind myself how happiness feels like, it's not that I hate everything, or a lot, normally I don't hate anything, expect when I a m angry, which is not very often. I just don't know how happiness has felt like, I can't remember. I am healthy and strong. Still I feel...
    zerohunter00001 zerohunter00001 22-25 1 Response Oct 23, 2013

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    This Isn't Me

    I look at who I've become and all I can say is this is t me. I used to be the conservative prude who had boyfriends but didnt hookup. But since the summer started that's all that I've done. But that isn't the part that kills me. The things people say about me make me want to...
    TheGirlWithTheBrokenSmile TheGirlWithTheBrokenSmile 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 13, 2012

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    Weaker

    I feel so much weaker then how i use to be. Though very few people know who i was in my past.
    Arorin Arorin 22-25, M Feb 14, 2009

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    Who Am I?

    I want to say, "I hate my life", but, who am I to say that?The reality is however, I really do hate my life.  I want to write my story, but I don't know where to start.  I had a crap childhood & was sexually abused by 3 different people for around 6 years.  I was bullied for...
    vorlockfoss vorlockfoss 36-40 2 Responses Sep 12, 2011

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    The Past.

    I was looking through my picture from about four years ago. I looked at how I was, how I dressed, what I did, and how I felt. How did I end up like this? When did I start caring so much about my hair, about my body, how I look? I miss being able to wear jeans and a sweater...
    imgettingthere imgettingthere 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 20, 2011

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    My Oh So "Wonderful Life"

    from the high school football star my sophomore year to 100 pounds heavier 3 years later. the honor student to the college dropout. i dont even know where to begin. my smart and perfect Dr. brother, and my achieving sister theres nothing but a joke i had life by the horns...
    dave324543 dave324543 18-21 Jun 30, 2013

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    I Hate Who I've Become And It Makes Me Upset

    I can't say I can ever remember what the feeling of 'genuine' happiness is like. I should be "happy", but I am really not. I feel that everything around me has changed, but people say that I have changed. They say I have grown bitter and more resentful, as it were... I keep...
    bluebarker bluebarker 18-21, M 2 Responses Nov 24, 2010

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    What The F*** Am I Doing?

    Is it sadder not to know how your life got f'ed or not know? Cuz I kno. Just 1 regret I have for my whole life. I shouldn't have hit them and then lost that job. It caused such a downward spiral. And obstacles just seemed to manifest themselves out of no where, one after another...
    SolaceNeeded SolaceNeeded 22-25, M May 31, 2010

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    Smash Myself To Pieces

    I'm a bigger loser than you.  I graduated from school and can't find a job.  It took me almost 10 years to get through college.  I have a useless BA degree from a 4 year university.  I stopped practcing to make myself better, stopped working out to make...
    ugly00monkey00spy ugly00monkey00spy 26-30, M 2 Responses May 8, 2010

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    I Don't Know What Happened

    I hate how I can never bring myself to say what I really mean. I feel like I'm lying, in a way. Everyone thinks I'm really nice, but I think I can find three bad things about everyone I supposedly like. I don't want anyone to hate me, but I hate lots of people. I feel like such...
    TrafalgarLaw TrafalgarLaw 13-15, F Oct 13, 2012

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    I Pretty Much Hate Myself.

    If I walked into a room I wouldn't talk to me. I wouldn't even think of talking to me. I'd just judge me. Like "oh, look at that *****, She thinks she's so hot. She never smiles and ew, look at her stomach. haha what a loser." I do that about evryone, so why wouldn't I do it aout...
    pjanoo pjanoo 16-17 2 Responses Mar 17, 2009

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    I Never Really Had A Chance

    I never got to have much of a childhood so now I'm in college, my social skills are lousy at best, I haven't gotten laid since the 1st week here, and that was with a total ***** and it wasn't that good anyway. I don't have any real friends, and I'm extremely depressed since it's...
    mpkgoblin mpkgoblin 18-21 Nov 11, 2010

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    What Happened To Me?

    I've become a cruel hateful person. Often in school I say things like "kill yourself" and "God youre a ******* idiot" to people who annoy me. I've never said anything to anyone's face, only around my friends. One friend has confronted me about it, saying she doesn't like it when...
    yourkissawitheredrose yourkissawitheredrose 18-21, F May 11, 2013

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    Recently I've noticed

    that I'm not proud of the person I've grown up to be. I'm almost 19 and I should be heavily invested in college and getting scholarships but instead I spend my time playing video games and watching Netflix. I'm lazy and not motivated to do anything. I joke around way too much...
    ElMusiciano ElMusiciano 18-21, M 2 Responses Sep 22

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    This Is Terribel

    I hate who I've become.  I grew up with such dreams.  I was going to change the world and make somethign happen.  I was going to make a differnce.  I'm only 22 but it still seems so futile.  I cant' do anythign to change how th world works.  I...
    natecambo natecambo 22-25 Dec 25, 2009

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    I never thought things would be this way.

    I always wanted to leave here but seem so stuck. I've become exactly what I hate.
    dillont dillont 26-30, M Apr 6

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    My Innocence Is Gone

    I hate how my life has change since i entered college. I was soo full of life, innocent in every way, bubblely and full of life. Now, im *****, i hate what i do, i feel like i degrace people and not that possitive. You see....i was a victim of bullying in my middle school. People...
    Hopefull522 Hopefull522 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 6, 2012

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    I'm Not Myself Anymore

    I am not myself anymore. I think I've become the exact person who I didn't want to be. A great example of this is what happened yesterday. A couple of my friends know what happened. I felt like I was full of stupidity, ugly, unloved, unwanted, and something else I'm not going to...
    trueheartis2cool trueheartis2cool 36-40, F Oct 16, 2011

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    :(

    Share my story? This is probably the most difficult story I've ever had to write. I hate who I've become. I look in the mirror and think 'Who is that person staring back at me?' The things I've done to that poor guy and how in the world he still cares is beyond me. I for one...
    LeaveAndTakeMeWithYou LeaveAndTakeMeWithYou 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 21, 2008

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    I Am Looking For The Light At The End Of The Tunnel But All I See Is The Train Approaching

    hi everyone!!! i just woke up on this beautiful sunny day and decided that i need to reach out to somebody about how i feel. everyone has their problems but i love people and all of humanity. we need to take care of eachother and find happiness in life. i am a 22 years old and...
    runningsensation runningsensation 22-25, M 2 Responses Jan 6, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    I'm scared of what I've become. It seems life or whatever circumstance has turned me into an emotionless honest cold *******. It's gotten so bad to where there's not a day that...
    Alex6619 Alex6619 18-21, M Sep 18

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    I'm writing this so I get things off my chest and hopefully I'll have the courage to post this on my Facebook wall. You see I'm not who I really am now... And I've come to notice...
    R3myx R3myx 22-25, M 5 Responses 1 day ago

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    I haven't had a horrible life by any means, in comparison to some of the horrors I've seen. Nonetheless, each journey is very individual. I've had my share of pain, and I've made...
    GoddessAirmid GoddessAirmid 22-25, F 1 Response Sep 21

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    I want to begin this by saying that I was once a completely normal girl. I grew up in a house with a yard, two parents who were hard workers and a lazy pet dog. I never got into...
    Naivegirl0963 Naivegirl0963 26-30, F 6 Responses Sep 2

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    I was in an abusive relationship about 3 and a half years ago. It was my first boyfriend and I feel head over heels in love. I was 17 years old, a senior in high school; 4 months...
    kayp1993 kayp1993 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 12

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    I was in an abusive relationship about 3 and a half years ago. It was my first boyfriend and I feel head over heels in love. I was 17 years old, a senior in high school; 4 months...
    kaytothep93 kaytothep93 18-21, F 9 Responses Sep 12

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    I'm fifteen years old. Fifteen. And I have absolutely zero idea who I am. It must be the "hormones"... Seriously, why do adults feel the need to blame it on hormones all of the...
    taintedanddainty taintedanddainty 13-15, F Sep 17

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    Over the years I have come to learn and realize that you shouldn't have to change for no one. You should always stay true to yourself. I admit I made that stupid mistake of trying...
    Morenita79 Morenita79 31-35, F 2 Responses Sep 24

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    I'm so so so blessed. Like I never thought that I would be so lucky to have the people that I have. I have never had any good friends. I did think I had a best friend but when she...
    LoveisBeautiful5013 LoveisBeautiful5013 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 3

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    I found this when I was going through my divorce. I have never came across something that covers such a cluster of emotions. It truly speaks volumes. And, just to clarify, I...
    Naivegirl0963 Naivegirl0963 26-30, F 3 Responses Sep 3

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    Months ago i was full of happiness. I had achieved so much! Now i'm just full of hatred and anger. I look in the mirror and i don't see mysf anymore. I see a person abused by their...
    abc0924 abc0924 18-21, M 1 Response Sep 16

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    And my threats to quit no longer work.. I guess 10 times in 9 months is too much.. total of 16 in 7 years? I don't know, I lost count.. but I guess now I'm just crying wolf EXCEPT...
    KaiFyre KaiFyre 26-30, F 5 days ago

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    Very much so. I mean there was years I couldn't look in a mirror without crying. I really don't like myself. There's only a cple of things about myself I really like but other than...
    lostwithin25 lostwithin25 22-25, F 3 days ago

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    My cousin told me "please stop spending so much time online". I think about it and I really wanted to tell her okay I'll try but honestly I can't really love life that's why I...
    Concerto Concerto 22-25, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    Yes, I have become stronger and better through all these years, I give people advice with all my heart and they succeed.. I love that side of myself
    Idonotcareanymore Idonotcareanymore 18-21 Sep 13

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    Here's one for you to think about, ever heard someone say, I want the worst situations in life to happen to me so I can become better then what my weakness's have convinced me that...
    Sheismybestfriend Sheismybestfriend 31-35, M 3 Responses Sep 17

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    I hate to think this, but sometimes i can't help but not to think it. One night i was walking home from my best friends house it was dark out so i just decided to look up at the...
    delvilel delvilel 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 17

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    I don't like being to told to smile for one thing...and then flash photography, makes me look more pissed off! I've always hated my own pictures, even as a kid. There are very few...
    hellcat88 hellcat88 41-45, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    (Where was God in my Darkness) I know how it is to be in the dark; to experience the dark nights of the soul. To swim in unfamiliar territories, rendering you fearful, restless...
    samemay54 samemay54 51-55, F 1 Response Sep 4

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    I'm close to my family but I don't trust them. I've always been closer with my friends. My mom and I have a love hate relationship. For a while, it affected my self esteem and I...
    mdkp mdkp 22-25, F 2 Responses Sep 24

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    You grow up and have all these ideas about how life is supposed to be and then when you become an adult...nothing is how you pictured it. Love and marriage are not what is...
    shoxic shoxic 22-25, F Sep 3

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    People don't understand that I'm not fashionable. I don't like girly clothes, i'm not a girly-girl. I like sports and i like to be comfortable in what i wear. Trouble is people...
    Emzi001 Emzi001 16-17, F 4 Responses Sep 5

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    I used to think that but now it depends. If im staying up because im caught in a great conversation then it just feels really amazing. I've even stayed up waiting for someone to...
    Raptax231 Raptax231 18-21, M 1 Response Sep 9

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    So, yesterday my youngest son and I visited my Mom and Sister and my nieces. I don't visit often because when I do, it ends up devolving into me getting criticized over the fact...
    Indigolesbian70 Indigolesbian70 41-45, F 3 Responses Sep 17

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    All my feelings are wrapped up and tucked away deep inside me and I've spent so much time being who everyone else wants me to be that I don't know who the real me is anymore
    1angel666 1angel666 13-15, F 1 Response 3 days ago