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I Hate Who I've Become

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 163 People

    I never thought things would be this way.

    I always wanted to leave here but seem so stuck. I've become exactly what I hate.
    dillont dillont 26-30, M Apr 6, 2014

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    How Nothingness Feels And Not What To Become :) Remade

    I can't remind myself how happiness feels like, it's not that I hate everything, or a lot, normally I don't hate anything, expect when I a m angry, which is not very often. I just don't know how happiness has felt like, I can't remember. I am healthy and strong. Still I feel...
    zerohunter00001 zerohunter00001 22-25 1 Response Oct 23, 2013

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    :(

    Share my story? This is probably the most difficult story I've ever had to write. I hate who I've become. I look in the mirror and think 'Who is that person staring back at me?' The things I've done to that poor guy and how in the world he still cares is beyond me. I for one...
    LeaveAndTakeMeWithYou LeaveAndTakeMeWithYou 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 21, 2008

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    I'll Never See It The Same Again

    Attention. Recognition. Just the feeling of someone knowing where you are at all times. It's euphoric. Isn't it? We all LOVE recognition. But at what cost are we willing to be recognized? I had it all. A girl who loved me, who I loved with all my heart. Friends, who would stop...
    MadroxideFreak MadroxideFreak 18-21, M Nov 30, 2010

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    I Am Looking For The Light At The End Of The Tunnel But All I See Is The Train Approaching

    hi everyone!!! i just woke up on this beautiful sunny day and decided that i need to reach out to somebody about how i feel. everyone has their problems but i love people and all of humanity. we need to take care of eachother and find happiness in life. i am a 22 years old and...
    runningsensation runningsensation 22-25, M 2 Responses Jan 6, 2013

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    I Don't Know What Happened

    I hate how I can never bring myself to say what I really mean. I feel like I'm lying, in a way. Everyone thinks I'm really nice, but I think I can find three bad things about everyone I supposedly like. I don't want anyone to hate me, but I hate lots of people. I feel like such...
    TrafalgarLaw TrafalgarLaw 13-15, F Oct 13, 2012

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    This Is Terribel

    I hate who I've become.  I grew up with such dreams.  I was going to change the world and make somethign happen.  I was going to make a differnce.  I'm only 22 but it still seems so futile.  I cant' do anythign to change how th world works.  I...
    natecambo natecambo 22-25 Dec 25, 2009

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    What Happened To Me?

    I've become a cruel hateful person. Often in school I say things like "kill yourself" and "God youre a ******* idiot" to people who annoy me. I've never said anything to anyone's face, only around my friends. One friend has confronted me about it, saying she doesn't like it when...
    yourkissawitheredrose yourkissawitheredrose 18-21, F May 11, 2013

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    I'm Not Myself Anymore

    I am not myself anymore. I think I've become the exact person who I didn't want to be. A great example of this is what happened yesterday. A couple of my friends know what happened. I felt like I was full of stupidity, ugly, unloved, unwanted, and something else I'm not going to...
    trueheartis2cool trueheartis2cool 36-40, F Oct 16, 2011

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    What The F*** Am I Doing?

    Is it sadder not to know how your life got f'ed or not know? Cuz I kno. Just 1 regret I have for my whole life. I shouldn't have hit them and then lost that job. It caused such a downward spiral. And obstacles just seemed to manifest themselves out of no where, one after another...
    SolaceNeeded SolaceNeeded 22-25, M May 31, 2010

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    I cry every single day,

    I have lost me, I lost my happiness. I lost everything, my life felt apart, I don't even know how to continue. I thought that nothing could break me down, but I am in pieces. I always saw myself so mature and I never thought that by losing someone I will be losing my hopes and...
    claud26 claud26 26-30, F 2 Responses Apr 25

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    Smash Myself To Pieces

    I'm a bigger loser than you.  I graduated from school and can't find a job.  It took me almost 10 years to get through college.  I have a useless BA degree from a 4 year university.  I stopped practcing to make myself better, stopped working out to make...
    ugly00monkey00spy ugly00monkey00spy 26-30, M 2 Responses May 8, 2010

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    I Hate Who I've Become And It Makes Me Upset

    I can't say I can ever remember what the feeling of 'genuine' happiness is like. I should be "happy", but I am really not. I feel that everything around me has changed, but people say that I have changed. They say I have grown bitter and more resentful, as it were... I keep...
    bluebarker bluebarker 18-21, M 2 Responses Nov 24, 2010

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    I Pretty Much Hate Myself.

    If I walked into a room I wouldn't talk to me. I wouldn't even think of talking to me. I'd just judge me. Like "oh, look at that *****, She thinks she's so hot. She never smiles and ew, look at her stomach. haha what a loser." I do that about evryone, so why wouldn't I do it aout...
    pjanoo pjanoo 16-17 2 Responses Mar 17, 2009

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    Who Am I?

    I want to say, "I hate my life", but, who am I to say that?The reality is however, I really do hate my life.  I want to write my story, but I don't know where to start.  I had a crap childhood & was sexually abused by 3 different people for around 6 years.  I was bullied for...
    vorlockfoss vorlockfoss 36-40 2 Responses Sep 12, 2011

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    This Isn't Me

    I look at who I've become and all I can say is this is t me. I used to be the conservative prude who had boyfriends but didnt hookup. But since the summer started that's all that I've done. But that isn't the part that kills me. The things people say about me make me want to...
    TheGirlWithTheBrokenSmile TheGirlWithTheBrokenSmile 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 13, 2012

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    Self-hating Mistrust And Pessimism

    I am one whom you have to come to love with so blindly and I am one whom you will learn to hate. Eventually. You think it’s a far off cry from where we are now—but it’s inevitable. One day the walls will fall apart, revealing the crumbling foundation within. You think I’m...
    GenineFilS GenineFilS 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 16, 2012

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    I Never Really Had A Chance

    I never got to have much of a childhood so now I'm in college, my social skills are lousy at best, I haven't gotten laid since the 1st week here, and that was with a total ***** and it wasn't that good anyway. I don't have any real friends, and I'm extremely depressed since it's...
    mpkgoblin mpkgoblin 18-21 Nov 11, 2010

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    This Is Not Me!

    I'm 42 years old with two degrees in engineering, neither of which I'm very knowledgeable. My credit is trashed because of gambling problem. I filed bankruptcy 3 years ago, but my case was dismissed. That means that even though I filed bankruptcy (which cost about $7000), it's...
    Number198712001 Number198712001 41-45, M 2 Responses Apr 30, 2010

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    This is one "experience" I crave to delete.

    I'll need to overcome this self hatred and sense of being a failure first though -- which may take awhile. I guess i'm so lost now, I can't even wrap the concept that my emotions are eating me from the inside-out. It's a vicious cycle I submit myself to. Somehow I suppose, it's...
    100397354HC 100397354HC 16-17 Nov 25, 2014

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    Weaker

    I feel so much weaker then how i use to be. Though very few people know who i was in my past.
    Arorin Arorin 22-25, M Feb 14, 2009

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    The Past.

    I was looking through my picture from about four years ago. I looked at how I was, how I dressed, what I did, and how I felt. How did I end up like this? When did I start caring so much about my hair, about my body, how I look? I miss being able to wear jeans and a sweater...
    imgettingthere imgettingthere 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 20, 2011

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    Recently I've noticed

    that I'm not proud of the person I've grown up to be. I'm almost 19 and I should be heavily invested in college and getting scholarships but instead I spend my time playing video games and watching Netflix. I'm lazy and not motivated to do anything. I joke around way too much...
    ElMusiciano ElMusiciano 18-21, M 2 Responses Sep 22, 2014

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    My Oh So "Wonderful Life"

    from the high school football star my sophomore year to 100 pounds heavier 3 years later. the honor student to the college dropout. i dont even know where to begin. my smart and perfect Dr. brother, and my achieving sister theres nothing but a joke i had life by the horns...
    dave324543 dave324543 18-21 Jun 30, 2013

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    I'm Just A Bad Person But Never Used To Be

    Not long ago I left a girl in England to be with the love of my life in Scotland. I don't regret doing this but I do regret how I went about it. I lied to a lot of people to make things easier but now these people know the truth, they hate me. My partner is pregnant which I'm...
    James112358 James112358 31-35 Dec 3, 2010

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    My Innocence Is Gone

    I hate how my life has change since i entered college. I was soo full of life, innocent in every way, bubblely and full of life. Now, im *****, i hate what i do, i feel like i degrace people and not that possitive. You see....i was a victim of bullying in my middle school. People...
    Hopefull522 Hopefull522 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 6, 2012

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    Life Was Good

    I'm a 22 year old guy who use to love life, but not so much anymore. Thru out Jr.  High and High School I had tons of friends, was popular, hot girlfriend, and just was loving life. When i graduated it seemed like i lost everything. in my first two months of college my high...
    lifewasgood05 lifewasgood05 18-21 2 Responses Jun 9, 2009

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    Related Experiences

    I've become stronger in ways I had never imagined possible for me. I remember always watching showswhere people would beseriously ****** up after going through a life changing...
    kissmykass kissmykass 22-25, F Apr 27

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    Everyone hates me. I always hesitate before I get out of bed. I can't even walk out the door without thinking twice if I want to walk into a world full of haters. NO one accepts me...
    WearingMyFlaws WearingMyFlaws 16-17, F 9 Responses Apr 13

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    It's been 4 weeks since my boyfriend of 3 years told me he was not sure if he wanted to be in a relationship right now. He said, I am young I want to explore and I am not sure I...
    74Kitty 74Kitty 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 13

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    Gosh where to begin...I was raised in a house horrors...sexual anuse, physical and emotiona abuse...I grow up promising myself not to repeat the cycle. I marry a man who turned...
    deroH deroH 46-50, F 3 Responses Apr 26

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    Being in a tough situation is not easy especially if that situation is still existing. Each one of us has our own ordeals, ghosts from the past and our down moments that sometimes...
    ShadesofWhite67 ShadesofWhite67 26-30, F Apr 14

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    I hurt everyone around. Even if it's not on purpose. I was trying to cut and someone I care greatly for knew what I going to do and tried to stop me. I shoved past her and held the...
    rawr0 rawr0 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 17

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    I hate living in tropical paradise, Boca Raton, Florida. It is the most pretentious place I've ever experienced. People always ask me how I can hate living in sunny Florida, but it...
    javs18 javs18 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 11

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    When I was 16 to 18 I was very determined . I loved music and I wanted to get into radio. I'd had a few rocky years with bullies in school and hadn't done so well in my exams so...
    Shelley176 Shelley176 31-35, F 4 Responses Apr 14

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    I've been living in Amsterdam for almost 4 years and never felt like home. i have a house, husband, daughter and my little cake business but it seems i still a blank and i don't...
    profound88 profound88 26-30, F Apr 23

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    pain hurts in the moment - but makes you stronger in the long run. As much as I hate the people who ever wronged me, I also need to thank them. Because of them, I am who I am today...
    PsychGirl94 PsychGirl94 18-21, F 4 Responses Apr 27

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    When I was 4 years old, my parents separated. my dad was an alcoholic, he used to beat my mom everyday. We moved out to Plymouth and got an apartment until we could get back on our...
    amberbell1001 amberbell1001 13-15, F 2 Responses Apr 8

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    I'm a very weak, scared, submissive, and extremely sensitive person. I'm someone who says "thank you" and "I'm sorry" way more often than I need to; not just because I want to be...
    canvascat canvascat 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 23

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    My whole family has gradually come to reject me and ostracize me. I haven't done anything to them, but I stick out as different and they dislike me for that. I'm the awkward...
    UnwantedPup UnwantedPup 31-35, T Apr 24

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    I'm just a guy. Just a normal, everyday guy that wakes up, does everyday things, never flies too high, never too low, makes a fair living, deals with work, home, and life in...
    justsomeohioguy justsomeohioguy 31-35, M 3 Responses Apr 9

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    I've always wanted to do this and decided to pull the trigger, well, 12 years ago. Allison is now 17 years old or will be in June. I haven't been a good letter writer. My...
    steverick steverick 56-60, M 4 Responses Apr 10

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    I've learnt from my pain my sorrow I've used it to shape my future to be stronger to be someone future me will be proud of
    Renavatio Renavatio 22-25, M 1 Response 5 days ago

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    I have no choice. I have to hide my boyfriend because he has been deemed unworthy by my stepfather, and therefore is dead if he steps anywhere near the premises. I hide my job...
    Ginkofishin Ginkofishin 18-21, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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