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I Hate Who I've Become

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 159 People

    This Is Terribel

    I hate who I've become.  I grew up with such dreams.  I was going to change the world and make somethign happen.  I was going to make a differnce.  I'm only 22 but it still seems so futile.  I cant' do anythign to change how th world works.  I...
    natecambo natecambo 22-25 Dec 25, 2009

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    Smash Myself To Pieces

    I'm a bigger loser than you.  I graduated from school and can't find a job.  It took me almost 10 years to get through college.  I have a useless BA degree from a 4 year university.  I stopped practcing to make myself better, stopped working out to make...
    ugly00monkey00spy ugly00monkey00spy 26-30, M 2 Responses May 8, 2010

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    Recently I've noticed

    that I'm not proud of the person I've grown up to be. I'm almost 19 and I should be heavily invested in college and getting scholarships but instead I spend my time playing video games and watching Netflix. I'm lazy and not motivated to do anything. I joke around way too much...
    ElMusiciano ElMusiciano 18-21, M 2 Responses Sep 22, 2014

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    This is one "experience" I crave to delete.

    I'll need to overcome this self hatred and sense of being a failure first though -- which may take awhile. I guess i'm so lost now, I can't even wrap the concept that my emotions are eating me from the inside-out. It's a vicious cycle I submit myself to. Somehow I suppose, it's...
    100397354HC 100397354HC 16-17 Nov 25, 2014

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    What Happened To Me?

    I've become a cruel hateful person. Often in school I say things like "kill yourself" and "God youre a ******* idiot" to people who annoy me. I've never said anything to anyone's face, only around my friends. One friend has confronted me about it, saying she doesn't like it when...
    yourkissawitheredrose yourkissawitheredrose 22-25, F May 11, 2013

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    Life Was Good

    I'm a 22 year old guy who use to love life, but not so much anymore. Thru out Jr.  High and High School I had tons of friends, was popular, hot girlfriend, and just was loving life. When i graduated it seemed like i lost everything. in my first two months of college my high...
    lifewasgood05 lifewasgood05 18-21 2 Responses Jun 9, 2009

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    I'll Never See It The Same Again

    Attention. Recognition. Just the feeling of someone knowing where you are at all times. It's euphoric. Isn't it? We all LOVE recognition. But at what cost are we willing to be recognized? I had it all. A girl who loved me, who I loved with all my heart. Friends, who would stop...
    MadroxideFreak MadroxideFreak 18-21, M Nov 30, 2010

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    The Past.

    I was looking through my picture from about four years ago. I looked at how I was, how I dressed, what I did, and how I felt. How did I end up like this? When did I start caring so much about my hair, about my body, how I look? I miss being able to wear jeans and a sweater...
    imgettingthere imgettingthere 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 20, 2011

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    I never thought things would be this way.

    I always wanted to leave here but seem so stuck. I've become exactly what I hate.
    dillont dillont 26-30, M Apr 6, 2014

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    What The F*** Am I Doing?

    Is it sadder not to know how your life got f'ed or not know? Cuz I kno. Just 1 regret I have for my whole life. I shouldn't have hit them and then lost that job. It caused such a downward spiral. And obstacles just seemed to manifest themselves out of no where, one after another...
    SolaceNeeded SolaceNeeded 22-25, M May 31, 2010

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    My Oh So "Wonderful Life"

    from the high school football star my sophomore year to 100 pounds heavier 3 years later. the honor student to the college dropout. i dont even know where to begin. my smart and perfect Dr. brother, and my achieving sister theres nothing but a joke i had life by the horns...
    dave324543 dave324543 18-21 Jun 30, 2013

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    Weaker

    I feel so much weaker then how i use to be. Though very few people know who i was in my past.
    Arorin Arorin 22-25, M Feb 14, 2009

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    I'm Not Myself Anymore

    I am not myself anymore. I think I've become the exact person who I didn't want to be. A great example of this is what happened yesterday. A couple of my friends know what happened. I felt like I was full of stupidity, ugly, unloved, unwanted, and something else I'm not going to...
    trueheartis2cool trueheartis2cool 36-40, F Oct 16, 2011

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    My Innocence Is Gone

    I hate how my life has change since i entered college. I was soo full of life, innocent in every way, bubblely and full of life. Now, im *****, i hate what i do, i feel like i degrace people and not that possitive. You see....i was a victim of bullying in my middle school. People...
    Hopefull522 Hopefull522 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 6, 2012

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    This Is Not Me!

    I'm 42 years old with two degrees in engineering, neither of which I'm very knowledgeable. My credit is trashed because of gambling problem. I filed bankruptcy 3 years ago, but my case was dismissed. That means that even though I filed bankruptcy (which cost about $7000), it's...
    Number198712001 Number198712001 41-45, M 2 Responses Apr 30, 2010

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    I Pretty Much Hate Myself.

    If I walked into a room I wouldn't talk to me. I wouldn't even think of talking to me. I'd just judge me. Like "oh, look at that *****, She thinks she's so hot. She never smiles and ew, look at her stomach. haha what a loser." I do that about evryone, so why wouldn't I do it aout...
    pjanoo pjanoo 16-17 2 Responses Mar 17, 2009

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    I Never Really Had A Chance

    I never got to have much of a childhood so now I'm in college, my social skills are lousy at best, I haven't gotten laid since the 1st week here, and that was with a total ***** and it wasn't that good anyway. I don't have any real friends, and I'm extremely depressed since it's...
    mpkgoblin mpkgoblin 18-21 Nov 11, 2010

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    I Hate Who I've Become And It Makes Me Upset

    I can't say I can ever remember what the feeling of 'genuine' happiness is like. I should be "happy", but I am really not. I feel that everything around me has changed, but people say that I have changed. They say I have grown bitter and more resentful, as it were... I keep...
    bluebarker bluebarker 18-21, M 2 Responses Nov 24, 2010

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    :(

    Share my story? This is probably the most difficult story I've ever had to write. I hate who I've become. I look in the mirror and think 'Who is that person staring back at me?' The things I've done to that poor guy and how in the world he still cares is beyond me. I for one...
    LeaveAndTakeMeWithYou LeaveAndTakeMeWithYou 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 21, 2008

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    I Am Looking For The Light At The End Of The Tunnel But All I See Is The Train Approaching

    hi everyone!!! i just woke up on this beautiful sunny day and decided that i need to reach out to somebody about how i feel. everyone has their problems but i love people and all of humanity. we need to take care of eachother and find happiness in life. i am a 22 years old and...
    runningsensation runningsensation 22-25, M 2 Responses Jan 6, 2013

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    I cry every single day,

    I have lost me, I lost my happiness. I lost everything, my life felt apart, I don't even know how to continue. I thought that nothing could break me down, but I am in pieces. I always saw myself so mature and I never thought that by losing someone I will be losing my hopes and...
    claud26 claud26 26-30, F 2 Responses Apr 25

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    I Don't Know What Happened

    I hate how I can never bring myself to say what I really mean. I feel like I'm lying, in a way. Everyone thinks I'm really nice, but I think I can find three bad things about everyone I supposedly like. I don't want anyone to hate me, but I hate lots of people. I feel like such...
    TrafalgarLaw TrafalgarLaw 16-17, F Oct 13, 2012

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    I'm Just A Bad Person But Never Used To Be

    Not long ago I left a girl in England to be with the love of my life in Scotland. I don't regret doing this but I do regret how I went about it. I lied to a lot of people to make things easier but now these people know the truth, they hate me. My partner is pregnant which I'm...
    James112358 James112358 31-35 Dec 3, 2010

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    This Isn't Me

    I look at who I've become and all I can say is this is t me. I used to be the conservative prude who had boyfriends but didnt hookup. But since the summer started that's all that I've done. But that isn't the part that kills me. The things people say about me make me want to...
    TheGirlWithTheBrokenSmile TheGirlWithTheBrokenSmile 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 13, 2012

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    Self-hating Mistrust And Pessimism

    I am one whom you have to come to love with so blindly and I am one whom you will learn to hate. Eventually. You think it’s a far off cry from where we are now—but it’s inevitable. One day the walls will fall apart, revealing the crumbling foundation within. You think I’m...
    GenineFilS GenineFilS 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 16, 2012

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    Who Am I?

    I want to say, "I hate my life", but, who am I to say that?The reality is however, I really do hate my life.  I want to write my story, but I don't know where to start.  I had a crap childhood & was sexually abused by 3 different people for around 6 years.  I was bullied for...
    vorlockfoss vorlockfoss 36-40 2 Responses Sep 12, 2011

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    How Nothingness Feels And Not What To Become :) Remade

    I can't remind myself how happiness feels like, it's not that I hate everything, or a lot, normally I don't hate anything, expect when I a m angry, which is not very often. I just don't know how happiness has felt like, I can't remember. I am healthy and strong. Still I feel...
    zerohunter00001 zerohunter00001 22-25 2 Responses Oct 23, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    I suffered bullying at school, had to flee from a grave danger at age 12, suffered my own family's rejection, racism, and yet here I am standing strong, not giving up. I want all...
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    Please forgive me . I will go crazy soon . Maybe i was feeling crazy then or im just really stupid for being jealous . I am sorry . Its hard to control emotions and i find it more...
    EternallyEphemeral EternallyEphemeral 26-30, F 7 hrs ago

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    I used to be organized and cared...the past few years I have become defensive mean angry. I can barely walk in my home and I say every day I am going to start over tomorrow. Get...
    Khloe7777 Khloe7777 31-35, F 2 Responses 18 hrs ago

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    I've been writing short/medium/ to full length stories about forbidden situations and though they are fun to read, it sometimes gets a little boring... I mean honestly, how...
    LittleBastet9 LittleBastet9 22-25, F 1 Response 19 hrs ago

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    Looking in the mirror at a stranger...she hears a voice talking back to her....."I am not happy with the person I have become" Looking at old pictures of her self, seeing happy...
    SassyBabe39 SassyBabe39 41-45, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    I've lost my way, forgotten who i was, i only know what i am now, and i am now someone who is bitter, guarded, and angry at the world
    shatteredglass378 shatteredglass378 16-17, M 1 Response 2 days ago

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    I was born and raised in Ukraine. Eventually, my parents and I moved to Mexico and have lived here ever since. It is a beautiful country overall, but the urban core at its centre...
    ThePaleRider ThePaleRider 26-30, M 2 days ago

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    I used to love being with women making luv to them then I found myself dressed up in their garments realized how much I enjoyed it so I started buying my own wasn't long before I...
    alexsFUN alexsFUN 51-55 1 Response 3 days ago

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    half a saint and half a debauchee, i'm a crazy, and my path is that which God wills.. ma own loved ones destroyed me, God created me and flung into this ****** world... some say...
    seniordingdong seniordingdong 26-30, M 1 Response 3 days ago

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    Yeah, it's like all the **** that I've been through has brought me here to where I'm at life right now. Understanding myself instead of going against myself. Having patience. It's...
    stashd stashd 22-25, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    It's gotten to the point where I don't care what people think of me. You think I'm strange? Don't talk to me. You think I'm ugly? Don't look at me. And if you're gonna say...
    songwrxter songwrxter 18-21, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    It's not my fault that when I was little was I bullied and teased to the point where now I'm an introvert, extremely shy and awkward, have low self esteem, and is now extremely...
    MsFuzzWuzzOreoCat MsFuzzWuzzOreoCat 13-15, F 4 days ago

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    I really didn't mean to post that yet not sure what I did to do it. Dang my purpose in writing it was because I am in a bad marriage and I'm not the person I was before I started...
    raven1221 raven1221 46-50, F 5 Responses 6 days ago

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    I'm gonna say this to anyone who thinks I owe them something.... If you wanted to follow my emotional journey all you'd have to do is read my past posts... I've got a lot going on...
    katariffik katariffik 31-35, F a week ago

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    I lived in a beautiful, secluded brick house with 3 bedrooms and two bathrooms, and a huge walk-up attic that I had converted into an art studio. I lived here alone with my two...
    purplemoonpie purplemoonpie 26-30, F 1 Response Aug 24

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    Before I begin I just want to say that I am not here to complain I'm here only to share my story because I feel I have no one else too tell. my mom remarried when I was about five...
    bluebear6 bluebear6 13-15, F 4 Responses Aug 24