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I Hate Who I've Become

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 156 People

    Who Am I?

    I want to say, "I hate my life", but, who am I to say that?The reality is however, I really do hate my life.  I want to write my story, but I don't know where to start.  I had a crap childhood & was sexually abused by 3 different people for around 6 years.  I was bullied for...
    vorlockfoss vorlockfoss 36-40 2 Responses Sep 12, 2011

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    I'll Never See It The Same Again

    Attention. Recognition. Just the feeling of someone knowing where you are at all times. It's euphoric. Isn't it? We all LOVE recognition. But at what cost are we willing to be recognized? I had it all. A girl who loved me, who I loved with all my heart. Friends, who would stop...
    MadroxideFreak MadroxideFreak 18-21, M Nov 30, 2010

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    I Am Looking For The Light At The End Of The Tunnel But All I See Is The Train Approaching

    hi everyone!!! i just woke up on this beautiful sunny day and decided that i need to reach out to somebody about how i feel. everyone has their problems but i love people and all of humanity. we need to take care of eachother and find happiness in life. i am a 22 years old and...
    runningsensation runningsensation 22-25, M 2 Responses Jan 6, 2013

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    Weaker

    I feel so much weaker then how i use to be. Though very few people know who i was in my past.
    Arorin Arorin 22-25, M Feb 14, 2009

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    Smash Myself To Pieces

    I'm a bigger loser than you.  I graduated from school and can't find a job.  It took me almost 10 years to get through college.  I have a useless BA degree from a 4 year university.  I stopped practcing to make myself better, stopped working out to make...
    ugly00monkey00spy ugly00monkey00spy 26-30, M 2 Responses May 8, 2010

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    I'm Just A Bad Person But Never Used To Be

    Not long ago I left a girl in England to be with the love of my life in Scotland. I don't regret doing this but I do regret how I went about it. I lied to a lot of people to make things easier but now these people know the truth, they hate me. My partner is pregnant which I'm...
    James112358 James112358 31-35 Dec 3, 2010

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    My Oh So "Wonderful Life"

    from the high school football star my sophomore year to 100 pounds heavier 3 years later. the honor student to the college dropout. i dont even know where to begin. my smart and perfect Dr. brother, and my achieving sister theres nothing but a joke i had life by the horns...
    dave324543 dave324543 18-21 Jun 30, 2013

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    I Don't Know What Happened

    I hate how I can never bring myself to say what I really mean. I feel like I'm lying, in a way. Everyone thinks I'm really nice, but I think I can find three bad things about everyone I supposedly like. I don't want anyone to hate me, but I hate lots of people. I feel like such...
    TrafalgarLaw TrafalgarLaw 13-15, F Oct 13, 2012

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    What The F*** Am I Doing?

    Is it sadder not to know how your life got f'ed or not know? Cuz I kno. Just 1 regret I have for my whole life. I shouldn't have hit them and then lost that job. It caused such a downward spiral. And obstacles just seemed to manifest themselves out of no where, one after another...
    SolaceNeeded SolaceNeeded 22-25, M May 31, 2010

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    This Isn't Me

    I look at who I've become and all I can say is this is t me. I used to be the conservative prude who had boyfriends but didnt hookup. But since the summer started that's all that I've done. But that isn't the part that kills me. The things people say about me make me want to...
    TheGirlWithTheBrokenSmile TheGirlWithTheBrokenSmile 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 13, 2012

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    I Never Really Had A Chance

    I never got to have much of a childhood so now I'm in college, my social skills are lousy at best, I haven't gotten laid since the 1st week here, and that was with a total ***** and it wasn't that good anyway. I don't have any real friends, and I'm extremely depressed since it's...
    mpkgoblin mpkgoblin 18-21 Nov 11, 2010

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    Self-hating Mistrust And Pessimism

    I am one whom you have to come to love with so blindly and I am one whom you will learn to hate. Eventually. You think it’s a far off cry from where we are now—but it’s inevitable. One day the walls will fall apart, revealing the crumbling foundation within. You think I’m...
    GenineFilS GenineFilS 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 16, 2012

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    Recently I've noticed

    that I'm not proud of the person I've grown up to be. I'm almost 19 and I should be heavily invested in college and getting scholarships but instead I spend my time playing video games and watching Netflix. I'm lazy and not motivated to do anything. I joke around way too much...
    ElMusiciano ElMusiciano 18-21, M 2 Responses Sep 22, 2014

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    How Nothingness Feels And Not What To Become :) Remade

    I can't remind myself how happiness feels like, it's not that I hate everything, or a lot, normally I don't hate anything, expect when I a m angry, which is not very often. I just don't know how happiness has felt like, I can't remember. I am healthy and strong. Still I feel...
    zerohunter00001 zerohunter00001 22-25 1 Response Oct 23, 2013

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    I Hate Who I've Become And It Makes Me Upset

    I can't say I can ever remember what the feeling of 'genuine' happiness is like. I should be "happy", but I am really not. I feel that everything around me has changed, but people say that I have changed. They say I have grown bitter and more resentful, as it were... I keep...
    bluebarker bluebarker 18-21, M 2 Responses Nov 24, 2010

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    Life Was Good

    I'm a 22 year old guy who use to love life, but not so much anymore. Thru out Jr.  High and High School I had tons of friends, was popular, hot girlfriend, and just was loving life. When i graduated it seemed like i lost everything. in my first two months of college my high...
    lifewasgood05 lifewasgood05 18-21 2 Responses Jun 9, 2009

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    I Pretty Much Hate Myself.

    If I walked into a room I wouldn't talk to me. I wouldn't even think of talking to me. I'd just judge me. Like "oh, look at that *****, She thinks she's so hot. She never smiles and ew, look at her stomach. haha what a loser." I do that about evryone, so why wouldn't I do it aout...
    pjanoo pjanoo 16-17 2 Responses Mar 17, 2009

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    The Past.

    I was looking through my picture from about four years ago. I looked at how I was, how I dressed, what I did, and how I felt. How did I end up like this? When did I start caring so much about my hair, about my body, how I look? I miss being able to wear jeans and a sweater...
    imgettingthere imgettingthere 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 20, 2011

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    What Happened To Me?

    I've become a cruel hateful person. Often in school I say things like "kill yourself" and "God youre a ******* idiot" to people who annoy me. I've never said anything to anyone's face, only around my friends. One friend has confronted me about it, saying she doesn't like it when...
    yourkissawitheredrose yourkissawitheredrose 18-21, F May 11, 2013

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    This is one "experience" I crave to delete.

    I'll need to overcome this self hatred and sense of being a failure first though -- which may take awhile. I guess i'm so lost now, I can't even wrap the concept that my emotions are eating me from the inside-out. It's a vicious cycle I submit myself to. Somehow I suppose, it's...
    100397354HC 100397354HC 16-17 Nov 25, 2014

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    This Is Terribel

    I hate who I've become.  I grew up with such dreams.  I was going to change the world and make somethign happen.  I was going to make a differnce.  I'm only 22 but it still seems so futile.  I cant' do anythign to change how th world works.  I...
    natecambo natecambo 22-25 Dec 25, 2009

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    I never thought things would be this way.

    I always wanted to leave here but seem so stuck. I've become exactly what I hate.
    dillont dillont 26-30, M Apr 6, 2014

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    My Innocence Is Gone

    I hate how my life has change since i entered college. I was soo full of life, innocent in every way, bubblely and full of life. Now, im *****, i hate what i do, i feel like i degrace people and not that possitive. You see....i was a victim of bullying in my middle school. People...
    Hopefull522 Hopefull522 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 6, 2012

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    :(

    Share my story? This is probably the most difficult story I've ever had to write. I hate who I've become. I look in the mirror and think 'Who is that person staring back at me?' The things I've done to that poor guy and how in the world he still cares is beyond me. I for one...
    LeaveAndTakeMeWithYou LeaveAndTakeMeWithYou 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 21, 2008

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    I'm Not Myself Anymore

    I am not myself anymore. I think I've become the exact person who I didn't want to be. A great example of this is what happened yesterday. A couple of my friends know what happened. I felt like I was full of stupidity, ugly, unloved, unwanted, and something else I'm not going to...
    trueheartis2cool trueheartis2cool 36-40, F Oct 16, 2011

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    This Is Not Me!

    I'm 42 years old with two degrees in engineering, neither of which I'm very knowledgeable. My credit is trashed because of gambling problem. I filed bankruptcy 3 years ago, but my case was dismissed. That means that even though I filed bankruptcy (which cost about $7000), it's...
    Number198712001 Number198712001 41-45, M 2 Responses Apr 30, 2010

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    Related Experiences

    Hey guys, this is a relatively small group but that's fine. Honestly, I think everyone can say they've been through LOT. I know I have, but here is only a small piece of my...
    JustDuke JustDuke 13-15, M 1 Response Jan 7

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    I've learned throughout my life that letting go of all the ****** things that you have no control over and accepting yourself are the most important things you can do. I've grown...
    musicforlife0321 musicforlife0321 18-21, F Jan 3

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    Flat out, I believe whole heartedly in "Equal pay for equal work and qualifications" regardless of gender or ethnicity. To back up my conviction, I have been passed up for...
    CaptainRoberts CaptainRoberts 51-55, M Dec 27, 2014

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    I like someone who I've only gotten to be friends with recently, but he makes me laugh a lot and I think he is honestly one of the coolest guys I know. He has his flaws, but those...
    LearningHearts LearningHearts 16-17, F Jan 7

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    Recently my dreadful longing got the best of me, and I optimistically fell in love with the cruelest person I've ever met. A heart of stone, rude, inconsiderate, unappreciative...
    mangaka9 mangaka9 16-17, M Jan 10

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    Now I know I don’t have it nearly as bad as others when it comes to suffocating parents. I live 2000 away from them, only call them once a week, and overall had a good...
    queenbeeaj queenbeeaj 22-25, F 22 hrs ago

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    This goes towards all the ep members, as in real life, i express my thoughts, am a bit sarcastic and cynical some times and some others i'm just into a weird mood and i go joking...
    alogo alogo 26-30 Dec 29, 2014

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    What I would do, what I would give not to cuddle with just any random person but with that one special person. Unfortunately, I've come to understand that person doesn't exist for...
    Weretiger Weretiger 26-30 Jan 15

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    Too many times I've changed myself, to fit in with people that didn't appreciate it. I've gotten my heart broken, I've lost my trust in people. All I have been focusing in lately...
    SwornIn SwornIn 13-15, F 1 Response Dec 25, 2014

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    I've been with a partner for nearly the years. We live together with his mum. We live in a very small flat and have done for 18 months. Prior to that, we lived in a family home...
    rebeccadb1 rebeccadb1 22-25, F 1 Response Jan 2

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    good grief ...I've taken some pictures and I've said who is that..busted chick!!...that's you lmao! .so I just run from the camera I can manage to take a great picture after...
    amie26 amie26 31-35, F a week ago

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    Omg my ex always hated this too. I txt a lot, I put a lot of thought into my messages and when you reply with only "K" it makes me feel what I've said was worthless to you. Why...
    ShaneJake ShaneJake 16-17, M 5 days ago

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    life has given me a lot of lemons. the bitter taste has soured my senses for a while. I have finally realized that water (time) would wash away the bitterness and from there I...
    tsnuggles tsnuggles 36-40, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    I have to stop judging people to like myself. That is one thing I have learned in hard times. If I have eyes that laugh at people's problems, these eyes will laugh at my own...
    katsuobushi katsuobushi 36-40, M 1 Response 3 days ago

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    Used to being criticized on the way I look so I've always found myself ugly
    JanoItSierra JanoItSierra 13-15, F 1 Response Dec 29, 2014

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    I've been told a couple times that I don't look like the type of person that does the things that I do If you saw me would you ever guess I was molessted as a little girl? That...
    sadvibes sadvibes 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 30, 2014

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    I recently decided to get in shape and start exercising. I came across a quote at the gym that intrigued me the moment I read it. It says, "What seems so hard now will one day be...
    SirLaughalots SirLaughalots 36-40, M 10 Responses Jan 5

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    My insecurities were exploited. If I felt bad enough about myself, I wouldn't have the courage to leave. If I didn't have my own friends that truly cared about my happiness, I...
    StunningPhoenix StunningPhoenix 26-30, F 2 Responses Dec 30, 2014

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    I guess I've done some major exploring. And I'm a big mix up of contradictions. I'm a Christian. Do I attend church? I haven't in well over a year. I was a pastor's daughter (he...
    Gab1331 Gab1331 16-17 4 Responses Dec 31, 2014

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    Last year I was extreemly social, I forced myself to enjoy the company of my petty classmates but no one seemed to care and believe me they were extreemly petty. This boy in my...
    lifespadawan lifespadawan 22-25, F 1 Response Dec 31, 2014

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    Ever since I was a kid I've been told that being who you are is the best way to make friends and find loved ones. Be true to who you are and all good will come. Im 22 years old...
    patssnc92 patssnc92 22-25, M 5 Responses Jan 8

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    The Final Inspection The solider stood and faced God, Which must always come to pass, He hoped his boots were shinning, Just as brightly as His brass. Step forward now, you...
    Insan3lyGifted Insan3lyGifted 46-50, M Jan 10

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