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I Hate Who I've Become

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 143 People

    I'll Never See It The Same Again

    Attention. Recognition. Just the feeling of someone knowing where you are at all times. It's euphoric. Isn't it? We all LOVE recognition. But at what cost are we willing to be recognized? I had it all. A girl who loved me, who I loved with all my heart. Friends, who would stop...
    MadroxideFreak MadroxideFreak 18-21, M Nov 30, 2010

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    The Past.

    I was looking through my picture from about four years ago. I looked at how I was, how I dressed, what I did, and how I felt. How did I end up like this? When did I start caring so much about my hair, about my body, how I look? I miss being able to wear jeans and a sweater...
    imgettingthere imgettingthere 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 20, 2011

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    Self-hating Mistrust And Pessimism

    I am one whom you have to come to love with so blindly and I am one whom you will learn to hate. Eventually. You think it’s a far off cry from where we are now—but it’s inevitable. One day the walls will fall apart, revealing the crumbling foundation within. You think I’m...
    GenineFilS GenineFilS 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 16, 2012

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    What Happened To Me?

    I've become a cruel hateful person. Often in school I say things like "kill yourself" and "God youre a ******* idiot" to people who annoy me. I've never said anything to anyone's face, only around my friends. One friend has confronted me about it, saying she doesn't like it when...
    yourkissawitheredrose yourkissawitheredrose 18-21, F May 11, 2013

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    I Am Looking For The Light At The End Of The Tunnel But All I See Is The Train Approaching

    hi everyone!!! i just woke up on this beautiful sunny day and decided that i need to reach out to somebody about how i feel. everyone has their problems but i love people and all of humanity. we need to take care of eachother and find happiness in life. i am a 22 years old and...
    runningsensation runningsensation 22-25, M 1 Response Jan 6, 2013

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    :(

    Share my story? This is probably the most difficult story I've ever had to write. I hate who I've become. I look in the mirror and think 'Who is that person staring back at me?' The things I've done to that poor guy and how in the world he still cares is beyond me. I for one...
    LeaveAndTakeMeWithYou LeaveAndTakeMeWithYou 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 21, 2008

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    Who Am I?

    I want to say, "I hate my life", but, who am I to say that?The reality is however, I really do hate my life.  I want to write my story, but I don't know where to start.  I had a crap childhood & was sexually abused by 3 different people for around 6 years.  I was bullied for...
    vorlockfoss vorlockfoss 36-40 2 Responses Sep 12, 2011

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    My Innocence Is Gone

    I hate how my life has change since i entered college. I was soo full of life, innocent in every way, bubblely and full of life. Now, im *****, i hate what i do, i feel like i degrace people and not that possitive. You see....i was a victim of bullying in my middle school. People...
    Hopefull522 Hopefull522 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 6, 2012

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    My Oh So "Wonderful Life"

    from the high school football star my sophomore year to 100 pounds heavier 3 years later. the honor student to the college dropout. i dont even know where to begin. my smart and perfect Dr. brother, and my achieving sister theres nothing but a joke i had life by the horns...
    dave324543 dave324543 18-21 Jun 30, 2013

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    This Is Terribel

    I hate who I've become.  I grew up with such dreams.  I was going to change the world and make somethign happen.  I was going to make a differnce.  I'm only 22 but it still seems so futile.  I cant' do anythign to change how th world works.  I...
    natecambo natecambo 22-25 Dec 25, 2009

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    I never thought things would be this way.

    I always wanted to leave here but seem so stuck. I've become exactly what I hate.
    dillont dillont 26-30, M Apr 6

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    I Never Really Had A Chance

    I never got to have much of a childhood so now I'm in college, my social skills are lousy at best, I haven't gotten laid since the 1st week here, and that was with a total ***** and it wasn't that good anyway. I don't have any real friends, and I'm extremely depressed since it's...
    mpkgoblin mpkgoblin 18-21 Nov 11, 2010

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    What The F*** Am I Doing?

    Is it sadder not to know how your life got f'ed or not know? Cuz I kno. Just 1 regret I have for my whole life. I shouldn't have hit them and then lost that job. It caused such a downward spiral. And obstacles just seemed to manifest themselves out of no where, one after another...
    SolaceNeeded SolaceNeeded 22-25, M May 31, 2010

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    Life Was Good

    I'm a 22 year old guy who use to love life, but not so much anymore. Thru out Jr.  High and High School I had tons of friends, was popular, hot girlfriend, and just was loving life. When i graduated it seemed like i lost everything. in my first two months of college my high...
    lifewasgood05 lifewasgood05 18-21 2 Responses Jun 9, 2009

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    This Is Not Me!

    I'm 42 years old with two degrees in engineering, neither of which I'm very knowledgeable. My credit is trashed because of gambling problem. I filed bankruptcy 3 years ago, but my case was dismissed. That means that even though I filed bankruptcy (which cost about $7000), it's...
    Number198712001 Number198712001 41-45, M 2 Responses Apr 30, 2010

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    How Nothingness Feels And Not What To Become :) Remade

    I can't remind myself how happiness feels like, it's not that I hate everything, or a lot, normally I don't hate anything, expect when I a m angry, which is not very often. I just don't know how happiness has felt like, I can't remember. I am healthy and strong. Still I feel...
    zerohunter00001 zerohunter00001 22-25 1 Response Oct 23, 2013

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    I Don't Know What Happened

    I hate how I can never bring myself to say what I really mean. I feel like I'm lying, in a way. Everyone thinks I'm really nice, but I think I can find three bad things about everyone I supposedly like. I don't want anyone to hate me, but I hate lots of people. I feel like such...
    TrafalgarLaw TrafalgarLaw 13-15, F Oct 13, 2012

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    I Pretty Much Hate Myself.

    If I walked into a room I wouldn't talk to me. I wouldn't even think of talking to me. I'd just judge me. Like "oh, look at that *****, She thinks she's so hot. She never smiles and ew, look at her stomach. haha what a loser." I do that about evryone, so why wouldn't I do it aout...
    pjanoo pjanoo 16-17 2 Responses Mar 17, 2009

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    This Isn't Me

    I look at who I've become and all I can say is this is t me. I used to be the conservative prude who had boyfriends but didnt hookup. But since the summer started that's all that I've done. But that isn't the part that kills me. The things people say about me make me want to...
    TheGirlWithTheBrokenSmile TheGirlWithTheBrokenSmile 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 13, 2012

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    I'm Not Myself Anymore

    I am not myself anymore. I think I've become the exact person who I didn't want to be. A great example of this is what happened yesterday. A couple of my friends know what happened. I felt like I was full of stupidity, ugly, unloved, unwanted, and something else I'm not going to...
    trueheartis2cool trueheartis2cool 36-40, F Oct 16, 2011

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    I Hate Who I've Become And It Makes Me Upset

    I can't say I can ever remember what the feeling of 'genuine' happiness is like. I should be "happy", but I am really not. I feel that everything around me has changed, but people say that I have changed. They say I have grown bitter and more resentful, as it were... I keep...
    bluebarker bluebarker 18-21, M 2 Responses Nov 24, 2010

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    I'm Just A Bad Person But Never Used To Be

    Not long ago I left a girl in England to be with the love of my life in Scotland. I don't regret doing this but I do regret how I went about it. I lied to a lot of people to make things easier but now these people know the truth, they hate me. My partner is pregnant which I'm...
    James112358 James112358 31-35 Dec 3, 2010

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    Weaker

    I feel so much weaker then how i use to be. Though very few people know who i was in my past.
    Arorin Arorin 22-25, M Feb 14, 2009

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    Smash Myself To Pieces

    I'm a bigger loser than you.  I graduated from school and can't find a job.  It took me almost 10 years to get through college.  I have a useless BA degree from a 4 year university.  I stopped practcing to make myself better, stopped working out to make...
    ugly00monkey00spy ugly00monkey00spy 26-30, M 2 Responses May 8, 2010

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    Related Experiences

    I hate the person I am, who I've become! I've made so many horrible mistakes and I don't even know who the hell I am anymore. I've become my own monster. I'm not asking for anyone...
    genie24 genie24 16-17, F 2 Responses Jul 12

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    Honestly I'm sick of the damn search. I've been trying to find myself probably since middle school, and my confidence has dwindled and dwindled and dwindled to the point where I...
    SkyVision SkyVision 31-35, F 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    i've changed so much over the past four years, i've lost who i was and dont know what i've become... how do i find myself
    blackenedraven blackenedraven 18-21 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    It's been somewhere around seven months since I've posted here, and about eight months that I've been clean from adderall. I miss it everyday and constantly regret my decision to...
    Paige5 Paige5 18-21, F 5 days ago

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    I've been through a lot; abuse and betrayal, lies, people bringing me down, etc. and I was not only living a lie through my life by telling myself I have a loving family, but I was...
    gardengirl17 gardengirl17 22-25, F 1 Response 20 hrs ago

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    I'm the girl who is clumsier sober than drunk. I'm the girl who stays in the shade, and then don't understand why I stay pale. I'm the girl who never knows her own number and...
    experiencedyetunprepared experiencedyetunprepared 16-17, F Jul 7

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    I am stronger because of all I've been through... I was 16 when everything happened. It all seemed to snowball honestly. I had been home sick with the flu. I was staying at my...
    Ginnty Ginnty 18-21, F 4 Responses Jul 10

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    Possible empath, clairsentient, clairvoyant, telepath, and medium. I'm not assuming this- I've had to go to counselors and psychologist who have told me. Opening up to it now is...
    kxCobra kxCobra 18-21, F 2 Responses 14 hrs ago

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    I have my share of personal problems. I've never denied its there. I have lost many "friends" because of it, or to put it differently, my "friends" showed their true self, and...
    Skywalker1979 Skywalker1979 31-35, M 5 hrs ago

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    I'm suffering from lack of focusing & doing things for a VERY long time. Till I left my family for my high school education, I was simply living in my bed. I was intelligent, I...
    tewkel59 tewkel59 22-25, M 1 Response Jul 16

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    I've been married three times yet never been in love. I work as a PC tech but don't fit in with "techies" or "geeks". I don't understand my feelings and lack thereof. I just...
    TheScorpio1966 TheScorpio1966 46-50, M 1 Response 8 hrs ago

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    We all have personal demons & insecurities prisoner's of our thoughts & mine's is never feeling good enough. I suppose it started from childhood I've come to realize my father to...
    livelymind livelymind 18-21, F Jun 29

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    It's impossible to write my story, because I know that no one will ever believe me... When you're in love, it's hard not to do anything for the person you care about... No one...
    HUMAN2BME HUMAN2BME 26-30, F 2 Responses Jul 18

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    I live in a town filled with these specific kind of people. They're mostly all the same. Mostly very loud, obnoxious, proud, arrogant, and overall rude people. Now of course I've...
    bentocoffin bentocoffin 13-15 1 Response a week ago

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    "Does a weak person become strong because they have to? Or do they become strong because they want to?" I've never been the kind of guy that an hide my emotions well, I end up...
    CatchingDarkness CatchingDarkness 16-17, M 4 Responses Jun 30

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    they hurt me first. They always say the wrong things, they spit hateful words and the worst part is that they have no idea how much it hurts. They think they're being "helpful" by...
    bhabhablacksheep bhabhablacksheep 22-25, F 6 days ago

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    Recently I just moved to a small town in Kansas last year for my significant other and I completely hate it here. I never thought I would ever have a problem with it since I've...
    fvcktopeka fvcktopeka 18-21 4 days ago

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    I'm 14 years old and I live in a small village in England and by small I mean there is one village post office and a tiny primary school. It's very isolated, but the rest of my...
    Jessicat29 Jessicat29 13-15, F Jul 2

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    I've been called many things in my life. Liar, thief, murderer, General, King, Mentor, and Grand Master. But due to what recently happened to me the one I hate most has come back...
    Fittererboy Fittererboy 18-21, M Jul 8

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    I have completely changed. Firstly, I am not the fat kid from school and college. I've lost so much weight, I look completely different to what I was. My face is less round, my...
    BeautyOfSuffering BeautyOfSuffering 22-25, F 1 Response Jul 12

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    If I was to write every single detail, I'd probably be typing all night. Plus I am too lazy :P But well me name is Emily, I'm 17 years old. I was raped when I was 12 by a...
    Emily97x Emily97x 16-17, F 3 Responses Jul 9

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    Getting really real here for a sec but I think that because of how I was treated by my family when I 'came out' I managed to grow a thicker skin. Because of it it's made it harder...
    Ailurus23 Ailurus23 18-21, M 10 hrs ago

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    I despise Philadelphia. The city, the suburbs, the culture, and most of all, the people. There is absolutely zero middle ground between rich liberal slimebags with their nose in...
    JD4640 JD4640 26-30, M Jun 30

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    I've been going through some stuff recently that's been making me question who I am. For the past year, I feel like I've been in limbo or a bad dream, I made everything worse for...
    lol1325 lol1325 22-25, F 1 Response Jul 16

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    I've been to a couple counselor/psychologists lately and I guess there was a part of me that was hoping for some kind of clinical diagnosis. Sounds crappy but it's true. There was...
    kxCobra kxCobra 18-21, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    Who am I? I wish i knew that. For the past few months I've begun to take a look at the persons who make me, me. I have the side of me my friends see, and that side of me is divided...
    avf1215 avf1215 18-21, F 2 days ago