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I Hate Who I've Become

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 146 People

    I Don't Know What Happened

    I hate how I can never bring myself to say what I really mean. I feel like I'm lying, in a way. Everyone thinks I'm really nice, but I think I can find three bad things about everyone I supposedly like. I don't want anyone to hate me, but I hate lots of people. I feel like such...
    TrafalgarLaw TrafalgarLaw 13-15, F Oct 13, 2012

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    What Happened To Me?

    I've become a cruel hateful person. Often in school I say things like "kill yourself" and "God youre a ******* idiot" to people who annoy me. I've never said anything to anyone's face, only around my friends. One friend has confronted me about it, saying she doesn't like it when...
    yourkissawitheredrose yourkissawitheredrose 18-21, F May 11, 2013

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    I'm Not Myself Anymore

    I am not myself anymore. I think I've become the exact person who I didn't want to be. A great example of this is what happened yesterday. A couple of my friends know what happened. I felt like I was full of stupidity, ugly, unloved, unwanted, and something else I'm not going to...
    trueheartis2cool trueheartis2cool 36-40, F Oct 16, 2011

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    I Hate Who I've Become And It Makes Me Upset

    I can't say I can ever remember what the feeling of 'genuine' happiness is like. I should be "happy", but I am really not. I feel that everything around me has changed, but people say that I have changed. They say I have grown bitter and more resentful, as it were... I keep...
    bluebarker bluebarker 18-21, M 2 Responses Nov 24, 2010

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    I Never Really Had A Chance

    I never got to have much of a childhood so now I'm in college, my social skills are lousy at best, I haven't gotten laid since the 1st week here, and that was with a total ***** and it wasn't that good anyway. I don't have any real friends, and I'm extremely depressed since it's...
    mpkgoblin mpkgoblin 18-21 Nov 11, 2010

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    I'm Just A Bad Person But Never Used To Be

    Not long ago I left a girl in England to be with the love of my life in Scotland. I don't regret doing this but I do regret how I went about it. I lied to a lot of people to make things easier but now these people know the truth, they hate me. My partner is pregnant which I'm...
    James112358 James112358 31-35 Dec 3, 2010

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    Self-hating Mistrust And Pessimism

    I am one whom you have to come to love with so blindly and I am one whom you will learn to hate. Eventually. You think it’s a far off cry from where we are now—but it’s inevitable. One day the walls will fall apart, revealing the crumbling foundation within. You think I’m...
    GenineFilS GenineFilS 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 16, 2012

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    I Am Looking For The Light At The End Of The Tunnel But All I See Is The Train Approaching

    hi everyone!!! i just woke up on this beautiful sunny day and decided that i need to reach out to somebody about how i feel. everyone has their problems but i love people and all of humanity. we need to take care of eachother and find happiness in life. i am a 22 years old and...
    runningsensation runningsensation 22-25, M 2 Responses Jan 6, 2013

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    The Past.

    I was looking through my picture from about four years ago. I looked at how I was, how I dressed, what I did, and how I felt. How did I end up like this? When did I start caring so much about my hair, about my body, how I look? I miss being able to wear jeans and a sweater...
    imgettingthere imgettingthere 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 20, 2011

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    I never thought things would be this way.

    I always wanted to leave here but seem so stuck. I've become exactly what I hate.
    dillont dillont 26-30, M Apr 6

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    My Oh So "Wonderful Life"

    from the high school football star my sophomore year to 100 pounds heavier 3 years later. the honor student to the college dropout. i dont even know where to begin. my smart and perfect Dr. brother, and my achieving sister theres nothing but a joke i had life by the horns...
    dave324543 dave324543 18-21 Jun 30, 2013

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    This Is Not Me!

    I'm 42 years old with two degrees in engineering, neither of which I'm very knowledgeable. My credit is trashed because of gambling problem. I filed bankruptcy 3 years ago, but my case was dismissed. That means that even though I filed bankruptcy (which cost about $7000), it's...
    Number198712001 Number198712001 41-45, M 2 Responses Apr 30, 2010

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    I Pretty Much Hate Myself.

    If I walked into a room I wouldn't talk to me. I wouldn't even think of talking to me. I'd just judge me. Like "oh, look at that *****, She thinks she's so hot. She never smiles and ew, look at her stomach. haha what a loser." I do that about evryone, so why wouldn't I do it aout...
    pjanoo pjanoo 16-17 2 Responses Mar 17, 2009

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    How Nothingness Feels And Not What To Become :) Remade

    I can't remind myself how happiness feels like, it's not that I hate everything, or a lot, normally I don't hate anything, expect when I a m angry, which is not very often. I just don't know how happiness has felt like, I can't remember. I am healthy and strong. Still I feel...
    zerohunter00001 zerohunter00001 22-25 1 Response Oct 23, 2013

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    Recently I've noticed

    that I'm not proud of the person I've grown up to be. I'm almost 19 and I should be heavily invested in college and getting scholarships but instead I spend my time playing video games and watching Netflix. I'm lazy and not motivated to do anything. I joke around way too much...
    ElMusiciano ElMusiciano 18-21, M 2 Responses Sep 22

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    Smash Myself To Pieces

    I'm a bigger loser than you.  I graduated from school and can't find a job.  It took me almost 10 years to get through college.  I have a useless BA degree from a 4 year university.  I stopped practcing to make myself better, stopped working out to make...
    ugly00monkey00spy ugly00monkey00spy 26-30, M 2 Responses May 8, 2010

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    This Is Terribel

    I hate who I've become.  I grew up with such dreams.  I was going to change the world and make somethign happen.  I was going to make a differnce.  I'm only 22 but it still seems so futile.  I cant' do anythign to change how th world works.  I...
    natecambo natecambo 22-25 Dec 25, 2009

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    Weaker

    I feel so much weaker then how i use to be. Though very few people know who i was in my past.
    Arorin Arorin 22-25, M Feb 14, 2009

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    Life Was Good

    I'm a 22 year old guy who use to love life, but not so much anymore. Thru out Jr.  High and High School I had tons of friends, was popular, hot girlfriend, and just was loving life. When i graduated it seemed like i lost everything. in my first two months of college my high...
    lifewasgood05 lifewasgood05 18-21 2 Responses Jun 9, 2009

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    My Innocence Is Gone

    I hate how my life has change since i entered college. I was soo full of life, innocent in every way, bubblely and full of life. Now, im *****, i hate what i do, i feel like i degrace people and not that possitive. You see....i was a victim of bullying in my middle school. People...
    Hopefull522 Hopefull522 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 6, 2012

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    What The F*** Am I Doing?

    Is it sadder not to know how your life got f'ed or not know? Cuz I kno. Just 1 regret I have for my whole life. I shouldn't have hit them and then lost that job. It caused such a downward spiral. And obstacles just seemed to manifest themselves out of no where, one after another...
    SolaceNeeded SolaceNeeded 22-25, M May 31, 2010

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    This Isn't Me

    I look at who I've become and all I can say is this is t me. I used to be the conservative prude who had boyfriends but didnt hookup. But since the summer started that's all that I've done. But that isn't the part that kills me. The things people say about me make me want to...
    TheGirlWithTheBrokenSmile TheGirlWithTheBrokenSmile 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 13, 2012

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    I'll Never See It The Same Again

    Attention. Recognition. Just the feeling of someone knowing where you are at all times. It's euphoric. Isn't it? We all LOVE recognition. But at what cost are we willing to be recognized? I had it all. A girl who loved me, who I loved with all my heart. Friends, who would stop...
    MadroxideFreak MadroxideFreak 18-21, M Nov 30, 2010

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    :(

    Share my story? This is probably the most difficult story I've ever had to write. I hate who I've become. I look in the mirror and think 'Who is that person staring back at me?' The things I've done to that poor guy and how in the world he still cares is beyond me. I for one...
    LeaveAndTakeMeWithYou LeaveAndTakeMeWithYou 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 21, 2008

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    Who Am I?

    I want to say, "I hate my life", but, who am I to say that?The reality is however, I really do hate my life.  I want to write my story, but I don't know where to start.  I had a crap childhood & was sexually abused by 3 different people for around 6 years.  I was bullied for...
    vorlockfoss vorlockfoss 36-40 2 Responses Sep 12, 2011

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    Related Experiences

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    What if this good persona changes? What if all the mental anxiety within me changes and I do something crazy? What if I've already done something and it comes back to haunt me? I'm...
    LovePeaceRockNRoll LovePeaceRockNRoll 18-21, F 1 Response a week ago

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    I use to be a perk person full of such hope, full of faith. I would help someone regardless, and I would not ask for an award. The last ten years of people in and out of my life...
    RebekahWriter13 RebekahWriter13 31-35, F a week ago

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    I'm writing this so I get things off my chest and hopefully I'll have the courage to post this on my Facebook wall. You see I'm not who I really am now... And I've come to notice...
    N1C07A5 N1C07A5 22-25, M 5 Responses Sep 30

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    I have had numerous past lives. :) very interesting. I've always been a healer and a helper of some sort. I was a servant in a royal palace in Egypt. I used to bath and dress the...
    Crystabell Crystabell 26-30, F 5 hrs ago

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    So... I know I should'nt feel that way, but I'm so jealous of my boyfriends life. It's absolutely not his fault but it bothers me so much and I don't really want to tell him how I...
    tellmeimnormal tellmeimnormal 18-21, M 1 Response 2 days ago

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    I've been seeing a man (from an online dating site) for just over one month. He introduced me to his family last night. We had sex this morning for the first time. I just stupidly...
    quinny1 quinny1 26-30, F 6 Responses Oct 7

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    And my threats to quit no longer work.. I guess 10 times in 9 months is too much.. total of 16 in 7 years? I don't know, I lost count.. but I guess now I'm just crying wolf EXCEPT...
    KaiFyre KaiFyre 26-30, F Sep 26

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    I'm at university studying History. However, because I went through clearing, I had trouble finding somewhere to live. I eventually found somewhere to live in a private halls of...
    Keltic95 Keltic95 16-17 1 Response 5 days ago

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    I'm sure that many people have been through more devastating things, and truly, I am not better than anyone. Yet, I still feel that, from all the things I have been through, it has...
    HeatherMarie14 HeatherMarie14 22-25, F 2 days ago

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    My cousin told me "please stop spending so much time online". I think about it and I really wanted to tell her okay I'll try but honestly I can't really love life that's why I...
    SwanNual SwanNual 22-25, F 2 Responses Sep 29

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    I was born 4 months severely premature. I do not know a lot about why premature births happen or why I was born premature specifically...but here is where I will try to share...
    beccaishere89 beccaishere89 22-25, F 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    I'm a survivor of addictions, of rape, sexual abuse, domestic violence.. I lived my life too many sad lonely years seeing myself as a victim.. I've used drugs, alcohol and men to...
    Anngeleyes Anngeleyes 26-30, F 6 Responses 7 hrs ago

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    Very much so. I mean there was years I couldn't look in a mirror without crying. I really don't like myself. There's only a cple of things about myself I really like but other than...
    lostwithin25 lostwithin25 22-25, F Sep 28

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    My In-Laws did not acknowledge my two year wedding anniversary. It's a long story but i'm not shocked, , I feel immensely grateful. I can't stand fake people, I know they hate me...
    sonatadusk sonatadusk 26-30, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    I have endured so much with this guy. Yes we are now fully done. He says that he no longer cares for me and that all he feels is emotional attachment.. I hate that I still love him...
    tutu18 tutu18 18-21 Oct 7

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    I don't like being to told to smile for one thing...and then flash photography, makes me look more pissed off! I've always hated my own pictures, even as a kid. There are very few...
    hellcat88 hellcat88 41-45, F 1 Response Sep 25

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    I once was very kind hearted and open to a relationship........ When I turned.....I think i was 14 or 15....anyways, 9th grade, i discovered that I was attracted to men and not...
    andrew24601 andrew24601 18-21, M 4 Responses Oct 16

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    Dear God, im sorry if i lose hope today. I've tried my best but it seems my best doesn't good enough so please can you tell me that your plans is better than my dreams? your...
    ElizabethSwannTurner ElizabethSwannTurner 18-21, F Oct 13

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    I'm an exhausted grad student trying to get through my last year and a half of school. I moved into a new apartment this year and have really inconsiderate downstairs neighbors who...
    emgirl1232004 emgirl1232004 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 16

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    All my feelings are wrapped up and tucked away deep inside me and I've spent so much time being who everyone else wants me to be that I don't know who the real me is anymore
    1angel666 1angel666 13-15, F 1 Response Sep 28

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    Hello everybody! I would like to welcome you to my sanctuary, which some people like to call my profile page. It's been a while since I've updated a bio of myself, so this is what...
    JordanfromNZ JordanfromNZ 13-15, M 2 Responses Oct 9

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    I've had a long day at University, The lecture was very long lasted 2hours and a half the seminar itself was draining so much reading to do in a literature degree. Not to mention...
    aminaas aminaas 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 15

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    I've reached a point where I don't even care if I'm viewed as an ******* anymore , I don't smile period what would make a person think I would make an exception on their behalf...
    Princeofthesky Princeofthesky 18-21, M a week ago

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    The recent few weeks I've been feeling pretty down and unhappy because I think I've been passionately falling in love again and again and again. And it didn't seem like they were...
    N1C07A5 N1C07A5 22-25, M 3 Responses 4 days ago