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I Have a Bizarre Sense of Humour

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 327 People

    My Sense of Humour Can Cert...

    My sense of humour can certainly be called bizarre, but I call it more warped than anything.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Jan 27, 2009

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    Wisdom / Knowledge

    Phillip - "Subtle sweetness and a ripe sour flavor!" Tom - "Delicious! Firm texture and terrific paired with bacon and lettuce served on toasted bread!" Phillip - "Splendid! What shall we name this new fruit we discovered?" Chumley "Tomato!" Phillip - "..." Tom - "..." Phillip...
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 3 Responses Aug 7, 2013

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    Kanye World (Ep2)

    Opening Scene: Kanye, in a green friendly apron, is stacking soup can pyramids at the local Whole Foods. Jennifer, a middle aged mother of two, approaches Kanye, distressed and in need of assistance. Jennifer: (fidgeting with her grocery bag) Excuse me? Mister Kanye? Where...
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 1 Response Aug 13, 2013

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    Delete Scenes (Ep1)

    Open Scene: Ubiquitous blue desk and backgound Cookie Monster : (growling crunching cookies with veracity of a shark attack) Om nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom...
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 3 Responses Aug 5, 2013

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    Hillarious Doctor M

    Hi, i'm Monstermaster13. If my username is any indication, I have a strange and off-kilter sense of humour. If my stories are any indication....I love making fun of cliches especially horror cliches. My werecreature parodies like the werejohncandy and so on are perfect...
    Monstermaster13 Monstermaster13 22-25, M Mar 22, 2013

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    So Many Secrets

    The cast of Jersey Shore skateboards down the street, going door-to-door, searching for who knows what... "Honey!" I yell. "HONEY!!! Get the kids and go to the basement!!! Lock the door!!!" 'My past, it seems, has finally caught up with me...'
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 2 Responses Aug 5, 2013

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    Kanye World (Ep4)

    Open Scene: Kanye at the midway. Kanye : (Leaping to the front of the line, waiving his wallet and pushing past others waiting patiently.) 'How much for the horse tornado?' Carney : (Rolls eyes) 'Sir, that's a carousel...' Kanye : (Lifts Carney off the ground by his lapels...
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 2 Responses Aug 23, 2013

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    5000+ Thai women are seeking love in your

    area Honey? HONEY!?! Grab the kids and hide in the basement! Lock the door!!! :::my past, it seems, has finally caught up with me:::
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 2 Responses Jul 6, 2014

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    Kanye World (Ep1)

    [Kanye Steps Up To The Podium] "At last, 5-out-of-5 Dentists agree..." "Uhhh, Excuse me Kanye!? Umm, why does that Dentist have a neck brace on???..." "5-OUT-OF-5 DENTISTS AGREE!!!!..." D:
    tenente tenente 31-35, M Aug 5, 2013

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    Who Me?

    If I did I would not be laughing at it. Ha!
    deleted deleted 26-30 Apr 3, 2009

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    Kanye World (Ep5)

    Open Scene: Kanye at his girlfriend Miko's apartment. Kanye : (Holding Miko in a loving embrace) 'Wow baby, you changed your makeup in 26 different hot ways?' Miko : (Smiling at Kanye, knowingly) 'MMMhmmm, you like that baby?...' Kanye : (Leans in slowly whispering into Miko's...
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 2 Responses Aug 28, 2013

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    Kanye: "I guess the person I was looking

    for was in front of me all along." Me: "That's a mirror." Kanye: [nods] "It feels right."
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 3 Responses Jul 12, 2014

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    Quite...

    But then again it could have been this. Or that.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Mar 6, 2009

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    I Know, I Don't Seem Like It

    But I do have a bizarre sense of humour... I'm usually just too scared of freaking people out or offending them to use it here ... or in 'real life' lol. Got to tone it down. And sometimes I can't strike a balance between bizarre and boring and wind up in the lame zone. That's...
    sugarburn sugarburn 22-25, F 4 Responses Jan 27, 2009

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    Awkward.

    I know it sounds alwful, but have you ever found the need to laugh at something completely NOT funny or awkward? I remember a friend of mine a few years ago came into school and told me her dog died and I just burst into fits of laughter, and I just couldn't stop! Not because I...
    AllyJG AllyJG 16-17, F Jan 21, 2011

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    [Somewhere at a Whole Foods] Kanye: Pardon me

    sir, would you have pumpkin? Whole Foods Drone: (hands Kanye a pumpkin) here. Kanye: No no NO! PUMPKIN! It's a type of SPICE!
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 2 Responses Sep 11, 2014

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    Yep, That's Me!

    Bizarre, or twisted, or warped, or something like that.  My coworkers tell me I have a strange sense of humor.  They have no idea how much I censor myself at work! Love the logo of this group, by the way.  My beloved cracked up over it. :-)  E. Bunbury
    EBunbury EBunbury 46-50, M Jun 1, 2008

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    Kanye World (Ep3)

    Open Scene: Kanye strolls in a park down a winding dirt path beside a pond. He notices his reflection in the calm water. Kanye : (leaps to the edge of the pond; throwing fists at the water; splashing; screaming) HANG ON OTHER KANYE!!! I WILL RELEASE YOU!!!!!!
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 1 Response Aug 20, 2013

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    Kanye World (Ep6) "Will you go to prom with me?

    " Kanye, I'm your dad. "AND DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH COURAGE IT TOOK TO ASK?!?"
    tenente tenente 31-35, M Apr 13, 2014

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    Wanted

    - I am quite sure most of you have seen the rather large green dragon that has been flying over northeast Buffalo,NY for the better part of a week. I am looking for someone to: 1) Lure said dragon away from Buffalo, NY to a more rural area (ie. Canada.) 2) Force said dragon to...
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 2 Responses Nov 14, 2013

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    Things I Think Are Funny...

    Things I find funny are usually not very funny to everyone else. Weird things like if someone says "monkey goo bar har har...?! " make me laugh so much more than people who have pre prepared "jokes" they've told a million times. (I do realise that monkey goo...
    Ladyhazasecret Ladyhazasecret 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 8, 2009

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    Related Experiences

    Sometimes when I feel anxious there is a clear cause, something I am obsessing about or avoiding. But sometimes, like today, I just seem to feel a sense of dread for no clear...
    iacob iacob 26-30, T 55 mins ago

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    What's the difference between pizza and sex? Only one is legal to buy. What does pizza and sex have in common? I'm too poor to buy either.
    Thalassophobic Thalassophobic 18-21, M 1 hr ago

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    PLEASE READ! I have just started a charity. I am 17 years old, and this is my story: I was born with a heart condition called Aortic stenosis, which is narrowing of the exit of the...
    amylouexoh amylouexoh 16-17, F 3 hrs ago

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    I like to tell people that i have the heart of a small boy. Then i say it's in a jar on my desk! :-p
    JnFrdriKler JnFrdriKler 22-25, M 3 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    That one person think I am a psychopath. But then, I have friends who knew me so well and understood me that my weird sense of humor is part of me. I am thankful that though others...
    ivzy2208 ivzy2208 22-25 14 hrs ago

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    I wonder why everytime i go in my room i sense his presence a lot stronger than anywhere else. Anyone else experience this?
    svetlanadavina svetlanadavina 22-25 2 Responses 15 hrs ago

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    http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Think-The-Justice-System-Is-Flawed/6842507 read this to understand my sense of judgement. msg me if you are
    blankslayer blankslayer 18-21, M 16 hrs ago

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    So after 5days of not talking, we finally had a real conversation one that consisted of how each other feels. you know the questionable feelings between twin flames. and one of the...
    for3v3r7 for3v3r7 26-30, F 18 hrs ago

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    My writing and my stress are one and the same bone, before men and children and life taking a huge festering **** on me i was a pretty decent writer, I wrote often and never seemed...
    Aliandras Aliandras 26-30, F 19 hrs ago

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    You can't teach Common sense or fix stupid. People that don't have common sense and breed just pass it on.
    Harleyman050 Harleyman050 46-50, M 5 Responses 1 day ago

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    My common sense is tingling... (Front flips on top of building) Who am I? I'm Common-Man...
    Darkslinger Darkslinger 26-30, M 1 day ago

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    Okay so I have a thing for this guy I work with. He is 5 years older than me and has a kid with his current girlfriend. He is also my neighbour so we are constantly around each...
    cwinchester06 cwinchester06 18-21, F 1 day ago

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    My eyes are open wide And by the way, I made it through the day I watched the world outside By the way, I'm leaving out today I just saw Halley's comet She waved Said, "Why you...
    Holla34 Holla34 18-21, F 2 days ago

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    My sense of humor ranges from - corny & weird, to sarcastic & bitter, to dark & morbid, to witty & highbrow, and to Quirky. There's so many kinds of sense of humors out there...
    PsychGirl94 PsychGirl94 18-21, F 11 Responses 3 days ago

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    A dark sense of humor, is a good sense of humor. 😈
    PsychGirl94 PsychGirl94 18-21, F 4 Responses 3 days ago

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    My smelling sense is incredibly strong as well. Probably why I'm a foodie and love to cook. If I had to give up one of my senses, it certainly would not be that one!😐😏
    Nightwets Nightwets 66-70, M Jun 27

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    Having a good sense of humor is by far the most attractive quality one can have.
    foreveralone22 foreveralone22 22-25, F 6 Responses Jun 26

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    You know what doesn't make sense? Someone who calls someone sexy or hot but never messages them back. I mean why would anyone flatter someone and never answer them back? It makes...
    AwesomeGuyy22 AwesomeGuyy22 22-25, M Jun 25

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    Some people may not find this funny i wish you all the luck in the world finding your sense of humor !!!!! I want to die like my grandfather peacefully in my sleep not shouting...
    chris7369 chris7369 41-45, M Jun 24

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    I like Dr. Phil's expression, "Common sense, just isn't common enough, anymore." People just don't use their heads anymore.
    AddMeNot AddMeNot 46-50, M 3 Responses Jun 23

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    poetry, drawing, athlete, intellectual, healer, lead not follow, truth, seeker, information finder and storage, excellent memory, magnet to people, to read people (facial reading...
    Biowolf25 Biowolf25 16-17, F Jun 23

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    I know this guy. He takes thing very serious. I could make a joke he wouldn't laugh. When we talk on the phone, his answers are serious. He doesn't make jokes what so ever. It's...
    lorrena19 lorrena19 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 23

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    I have a group of friends, they don't have any sense of humor, none at all. Whenever i say something funny, they just stare, and after a while, they give a nervous laugh. They just...
    Lalaloopsiebabe Lalaloopsiebabe 13-15, F 6 Responses