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I Have a Bizarre Sense of Humour

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 291 People

    Kanye World (Ep5)

    Open Scene: Kanye at his girlfriend Miko's apartment. Kanye : (Holding Miko in a loving embrace) 'Wow baby, you changed your makeup in 26 different hot ways?' Miko : (Smiling at Kanye, knowingly) 'MMMhmmm, you like that baby?...' Kanye : (Leans in slowly whispering into Miko's...
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 2 Responses Aug 28, 2013

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    Things I Think Are Funny...

    Things I find funny are usually not very funny to everyone else. Weird things like if someone says "monkey goo bar har har...?! " make me laugh so much more than people who have pre prepared "jokes" they've told a million times. (I do realise that monkey goo...
    Ladyhazasecret Ladyhazasecret 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 8, 2009

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    Kanye World (Ep6) "Will you go to prom with me?

    " Kanye, I'm your dad. "AND DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH COURAGE IT TOOK TO ASK?!?"
    tenente tenente 31-35, M Apr 13

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    5000+ Thai women are seeking love in your

    area Honey? HONEY!?! Grab the kids and hide in the basement! Lock the door!!! :::my past, it seems, has finally caught up with me:::
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 2 Responses Jul 6

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    Kanye World (Ep3)

    Open Scene: Kanye strolls in a park down a winding dirt path beside a pond. He notices his reflection in the calm water. Kanye : (leaps to the edge of the pond; throwing fists at the water; splashing; screaming) HANG ON OTHER KANYE!!! I WILL RELEASE YOU!!!!!!
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 2 Responses Aug 20, 2013

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    Kanye: "I guess the person I was looking

    for was in front of me all along." Me: "That's a mirror." Kanye: [nods] "It feels right."
    tenente tenente 31-35, M Jul 12

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    Wisdom / Knowledge

    Phillip - "Subtle sweetness and a ripe sour flavor!" Tom - "Delicious! Firm texture and terrific paired with bacon and lettuce served on toasted bread!" Phillip - "Splendid! What shall we name this new fruit we discovered?" Chumley "Tomato!" Phillip - "..." Tom - "..." Phillip...
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 3 Responses Aug 7, 2013

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    Who Me?

    If I did I would not be laughing at it. Ha!
    deleted deleted 26-30 Apr 3, 2009

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    Yep, That's Me!

    Bizarre, or twisted, or warped, or something like that.  My coworkers tell me I have a strange sense of humor.  They have no idea how much I censor myself at work! Love the logo of this group, by the way.  My beloved cracked up over it. :-)  E. Bunbury
    EBunbury EBunbury 46-50, M Jun 1, 2008

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    http://www.experienceproject.

    com/stories/Just-Have-To-Say/4445569
    Livyn4pals Livyn4pals 46-50, M Jun 22

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    Awkward.

    I know it sounds alwful, but have you ever found the need to laugh at something completely NOT funny or awkward? I remember a friend of mine a few years ago came into school and told me her dog died and I just burst into fits of laughter, and I just couldn't stop! Not because I...
    AllyJG AllyJG 16-17, F 1 Response Jan 21, 2011

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    Kanye World (Ep2)

    Opening Scene: Kanye, in a green friendly apron, is stacking soup can pyramids at the local Whole Foods. Jennifer, a middle aged mother of two, approaches Kanye, distressed and in need of assistance. Jennifer: (fidgeting with her grocery bag) Excuse me? Mister Kanye? Where...
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 1 Response Aug 13, 2013

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    Kanye World (Ep4)

    Open Scene: Kanye at the midway. Kanye : (Leaping to the front of the line, waiving his wallet and pushing past others waiting patiently.) 'How much for the horse tornado?' Carney : (Rolls eyes) 'Sir, that's a carousel...' Kanye : (Lifts Carney off the ground by his lapels...
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 2 Responses Aug 23, 2013

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    Just Check Me Out

    If you read what I've scrbbled on the EP walls you'll see that I have a twisted sense of humor, mostly dark.  Or not, depending on your own bent.
    dorobo dorobo 70+, M 4 Responses May 4, 2008

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    Kanye World (Ep1)

    [Kanye Steps Up To The Podium] "At last, 5-out-of-5 Dentists agree..." "Uhhh, Excuse me Kanye!? Umm, why does that Dentist have a neck brace on???..." "5-OUT-OF-5 DENTISTS AGREE!!!!..." D:
    tenente tenente 31-35, M Aug 5, 2013

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    Quite...

    But then again it could have been this. Or that.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Mar 6, 2009

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    My Sense of Humour Can Cert...

    My sense of humour can certainly be called bizarre, but I call it more warped than anything.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Jan 27, 2009

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    I Know, I Don't Seem Like It

    But I do have a bizarre sense of humour... I'm usually just too scared of freaking people out or offending them to use it here ... or in 'real life' lol. Got to tone it down. And sometimes I can't strike a balance between bizarre and boring and wind up in the lame zone. That's...
    sugarburn sugarburn 22-25, F 4 Responses Jan 27, 2009

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    So Many Secrets

    The cast of Jersey Shore skateboards down the street, going door-to-door, searching for who knows what... "Honey!" I yell. "HONEY!!! Get the kids and go to the basement!!! Lock the door!!!" 'My past, it seems, has finally caught up with me...'
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 3 Responses Aug 5, 2013

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    Wanted

    - I am quite sure most of you have seen the rather large green dragon that has been flying over northeast Buffalo,NY for the better part of a week. I am looking for someone to: 1) Lure said dragon away from Buffalo, NY to a more rural area (ie. Canada.) 2) Force said dragon to...
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 4 Responses Nov 14, 2013

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    Delete Scenes (Ep1)

    Open Scene: Ubiquitous blue desk and backgound Cookie Monster : (growling crunching cookies with veracity of a shark attack) Om nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom...
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 3 Responses Aug 5, 2013

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    Hillarious Doctor M

    Hi, i'm Monstermaster13. If my username is any indication, I have a strange and off-kilter sense of humour. If my stories are any indication....I love making fun of cliches especially horror cliches. My werecreature parodies like the werejohncandy and so on are perfect...
    Monstermaster13 Monstermaster13 22-25, M Mar 22, 2013

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    [Somewhere at a Whole Foods] Kanye: Pardon me

    sir, would you have pumpkin? Whole Foods Drone: (hands Kanye a pumpkin) here. Kanye: No no NO! PUMPKIN! It's a type of SPICE!
    tenente tenente 31-35, M Sep 11

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    Related Experiences

    i just realized that i dont have common sense. my mother didnt teach me anything
    unlovednbroken unlovednbroken 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 22

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    I'm just quirky by nature. I love puns and stupid jokes (not crude). I'm tend to ramble a lot and my mind just wonders into an abyss of randomness. I'm funny without even trying...
    GetYourFreakOn GetYourFreakOn 16-17, F Sep 25

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    So I'm watching the Family Guy and Simpson cross-over. If you haven't watched it there's a spoiler alert. I'm only less then 5 minutes in and Peter has become a comical cartoon...
    Gemz2411 Gemz2411 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 2

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    My wife always insists on turning out the lights out before we make love, which does not bother me. It's the hiding that seems so cruel (Jonathan Katz)
    dontcareforlabels dontcareforlabels 41-45, M 1 Response Sep 24

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    I'm not your average idiot... I'm actually really good at it! ;)
    Jpfunjunky Jpfunjunky 31-35, M Sep 24

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    Yaaaaaahhhh *accent* What accent do you think of?
    sashakimi4 sashakimi4 13-15, F 5 Responses Sep 25

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    Give a man a match and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm the rest of his life😄
    heavymetal99 heavymetal99 31-35, M 2 days ago

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    Feelin low as hell good thing i have a sense of humour. [Picture] "DJ Jesus died for your spins."
    Zack607 Zack607 22-25, M 1 Response Sep 23

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    Life is constantly throwing challenges in the form of obstacles to what you want, where you want to go, people who are just awful. If you don't have a sense of humor, I'm not sure...
    princeofthieves123 princeofthieves123 31-35, M 2 Responses Oct 12

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    Is it just me, or do cops have zero sense of humor? Whatever, my 7-11 donuts are too good for you anyway
    AntonioV AntonioV 46-50, M 1 Response Oct 8

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    The Psyche Connection By: Deanna Jaxine Stinson, Paranormal Researcher Halo Paranormal Investigations - HPI International https://www.facebook.com/#!/groups/HPIinternational...
    PaulDaleRoberts PaulDaleRoberts 51-55, M 2 days ago

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    I don't care what you believe in religion, no religion as long as it gives you happiness and hope or contentment. I don't want to change your ideas/insult them. I know people get...
    Concerto Concerto 22-25, F 2 Responses Sep 26

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    Because I'm not living and I just embarrassed myself while talking to the professor in front of class. All my life I had only one job at the bakery the rest of the time I'm sullen...
    Concerto Concerto 22-25, F 4 Responses Oct 11

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    If you don't have a sense of humor and you read my post. Please do not reply, I don't want to start a problem. I am a dumbass not a smartass. I never experience much of comment...
    ArcticPotato ArcticPotato 13-15, F 1 Response Oct 12

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    In front of the whole class with disapproving eyes from my professor yesterday while she hears that I did nothing for two years and worked only at a bakery once. It's an...
    Concerto Concerto 22-25, F 2 Responses Oct 12

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    I didn't know what a twin flame was until a few days ago. I just knew the relationship I had with my tf was weird. It was just so strange that I kept looking up signs about what it...
    Lovesoftly Lovesoftly 31-35, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    What's so wrong about being a spoiled brat? I have no life and I'm losing weight like crazy everyone's commenting about it even when they see me often. Can't I too have some sense...
    Concerto Concerto 22-25, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    I hoped that I would know what category of humor I like but I think it's called black humor and just a normal sense of humor. Like Tom & Jerry ,normal, sense of humor. 😆
    neffi neffi 13-15, M 3 days ago

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    So I says t my mate "I have a weird sense of humour..." N he says "Don't you mean humor?" "No. We're not Americans." "But we socialize..." "Wait! Don't you mean socialise...
    Sazzio Sazzio 22-25, M 3 Responses Sep 25

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    If you have a good sense of humour, I'm sure you can make anyone smile, why would you want to be so serious?!
    mattys1 mattys1 18-21, M 3 Responses Oct 3

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    Humor is associated with intelligence and honesty, that's why most women tend to be attracted to men with a sense of humor O.O XD
    ElizabethSwannTurner ElizabethSwannTurner 18-21, F Oct 5

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    Boys that are smart and can make me laugh are the ideal boys I will date. Being knowledgeable to be makes a conversation more interesting and I love when I can talk to a guy for...
    glomilk glomilk 13-15, F Oct 13

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    Actually a great sense of humor is a HUGE turn on! Looks aren't huge on my list. I just can't date someone who can't make me laugh or worries about their shoes. You mean to tell me...
    KittyKurious KittyKurious 26-30, F 4 Responses 5 days ago

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    Sometimes I cannot stop fantasizing about killing people who have offended my senses of justice and respect for basic human dignity. Today I had such an experience: there's this...
    sadconfused707 sadconfused707 41-45, M 8 hrs ago

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    Recognise this advert?it comes up every time I read a story. Hey, that pill seems to have given her a boob job too!
    Heellover Heellover 36-40, M Sep 24

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    Wendy: Can you validate my parking stub? Laura: You what? Wendy: Well the valet guy said you'd validate it. Laura: The valet guy? We don't have a valet. This is a laundry ticket...
    dontcareforlabels dontcareforlabels 41-45, M 1 Response Sep 24

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    I don't know how. For example here was this one guy, who I really liked. Every morning he messaged me "good morning beautiful" and every night "good night beautiful", and he just...
    dropdeadwilma dropdeadwilma 16-17, F 3 Responses Sep 27