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I Have a Bizarre Sense of Humour

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 321 People

    Kanye World (Ep6) "Will you go to prom with me?

    " Kanye, I'm your dad. "AND DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH COURAGE IT TOOK TO ASK?!?"
    tenente tenente 31-35, M Apr 13, 2014

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    My Sense of Humour Can Cert...

    My sense of humour can certainly be called bizarre, but I call it more warped than anything.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Jan 27, 2009

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    Kanye World (Ep3)

    Open Scene: Kanye strolls in a park down a winding dirt path beside a pond. He notices his reflection in the calm water. Kanye : (leaps to the edge of the pond; throwing fists at the water; splashing; screaming) HANG ON OTHER KANYE!!! I WILL RELEASE YOU!!!!!!
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 2 Responses Aug 20, 2013

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    Yep, That's Me!

    Bizarre, or twisted, or warped, or something like that.  My coworkers tell me I have a strange sense of humor.  They have no idea how much I censor myself at work! Love the logo of this group, by the way.  My beloved cracked up over it. :-)  E. Bunbury
    EBunbury EBunbury 46-50, M Jun 1, 2008

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    So Many Secrets

    The cast of Jersey Shore skateboards down the street, going door-to-door, searching for who knows what... "Honey!" I yell. "HONEY!!! Get the kids and go to the basement!!! Lock the door!!!" 'My past, it seems, has finally caught up with me...'
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 3 Responses Aug 5, 2013

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    Kanye World (Ep5)

    Open Scene: Kanye at his girlfriend Miko's apartment. Kanye : (Holding Miko in a loving embrace) 'Wow baby, you changed your makeup in 26 different hot ways?' Miko : (Smiling at Kanye, knowingly) 'MMMhmmm, you like that baby?...' Kanye : (Leans in slowly whispering into Miko's...
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 2 Responses Aug 28, 2013

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    Delete Scenes (Ep1)

    Open Scene: Ubiquitous blue desk and backgound Cookie Monster : (growling crunching cookies with veracity of a shark attack) Om nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom...
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 3 Responses Aug 5, 2013

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    Quite...

    But then again it could have been this. Or that.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Mar 6, 2009

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    Kanye: "I guess the person I was looking

    for was in front of me all along." Me: "That's a mirror." Kanye: [nods] "It feels right."
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 4 Responses Jul 12, 2014

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    Hillarious Doctor M

    Hi, i'm Monstermaster13. If my username is any indication, I have a strange and off-kilter sense of humour. If my stories are any indication....I love making fun of cliches especially horror cliches. My werecreature parodies like the werejohncandy and so on are perfect...
    Monstermaster13 Monstermaster13 22-25, M Mar 22, 2013

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    Wisdom / Knowledge

    Phillip - "Subtle sweetness and a ripe sour flavor!" Tom - "Delicious! Firm texture and terrific paired with bacon and lettuce served on toasted bread!" Phillip - "Splendid! What shall we name this new fruit we discovered?" Chumley "Tomato!" Phillip - "..." Tom - "..." Phillip...
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 3 Responses Aug 7, 2013

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    Awkward.

    I know it sounds alwful, but have you ever found the need to laugh at something completely NOT funny or awkward? I remember a friend of mine a few years ago came into school and told me her dog died and I just burst into fits of laughter, and I just couldn't stop! Not because I...
    AllyJG AllyJG 16-17, F Jan 21, 2011

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    Kanye World (Ep1)

    [Kanye Steps Up To The Podium] "At last, 5-out-of-5 Dentists agree..." "Uhhh, Excuse me Kanye!? Umm, why does that Dentist have a neck brace on???..." "5-OUT-OF-5 DENTISTS AGREE!!!!..." D:
    tenente tenente 31-35, M Aug 5, 2013

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    Kanye World (Ep2)

    Opening Scene: Kanye, in a green friendly apron, is stacking soup can pyramids at the local Whole Foods. Jennifer, a middle aged mother of two, approaches Kanye, distressed and in need of assistance. Jennifer: (fidgeting with her grocery bag) Excuse me? Mister Kanye? Where...
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 1 Response Aug 13, 2013

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    Who Me?

    If I did I would not be laughing at it. Ha!
    deleted deleted 26-30 Apr 3, 2009

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    Kanye World (Ep4)

    Open Scene: Kanye at the midway. Kanye : (Leaping to the front of the line, waiving his wallet and pushing past others waiting patiently.) 'How much for the horse tornado?' Carney : (Rolls eyes) 'Sir, that's a carousel...' Kanye : (Lifts Carney off the ground by his lapels...
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 2 Responses Aug 23, 2013

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    5000+ Thai women are seeking love in your

    area Honey? HONEY!?! Grab the kids and hide in the basement! Lock the door!!! :::my past, it seems, has finally caught up with me:::
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 3 Responses Jul 6, 2014

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    Things I Think Are Funny...

    Things I find funny are usually not very funny to everyone else. Weird things like if someone says "monkey goo bar har har...?! " make me laugh so much more than people who have pre prepared "jokes" they've told a million times. (I do realise that monkey goo...
    Ladyhazasecret Ladyhazasecret 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 8, 2009

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    I Know, I Don't Seem Like It

    But I do have a bizarre sense of humour... I'm usually just too scared of freaking people out or offending them to use it here ... or in 'real life' lol. Got to tone it down. And sometimes I can't strike a balance between bizarre and boring and wind up in the lame zone. That's...
    sugarburn sugarburn 22-25, F 4 Responses Jan 27, 2009

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    Wanted

    - I am quite sure most of you have seen the rather large green dragon that has been flying over northeast Buffalo,NY for the better part of a week. I am looking for someone to: 1) Lure said dragon away from Buffalo, NY to a more rural area (ie. Canada.) 2) Force said dragon to...
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 3 Responses Nov 14, 2013

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    [Somewhere at a Whole Foods] Kanye: Pardon me

    sir, would you have pumpkin? Whole Foods Drone: (hands Kanye a pumpkin) here. Kanye: No no NO! PUMPKIN! It's a type of SPICE!
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 3 Responses Sep 11, 2014

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     aren't most of us this way sometimes?
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    "If it were not for certain people’s greed for wealth, the highways would be filled with cars powered by the sun, and no one would be starving. Such advances are technologically...
    khenpal khenpal 51-55, M 3 Responses Apr 21

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    I ran out of funny today... I'm experiencing withdrawals and it's really getting rough! Can anybody help a brother out? I'm tweakin bad right now!
    Jpfunjunky Jpfunjunky 31-35, M 3 Responses Apr 24

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    Some love mine. Some get baffled. Some get disgusted.
    convertihd convertihd 46-50, M Apr 28

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    Oh my gosh someone commented this on one of my videos lol I've been laughing about it literally all day. It hit me right in my giggle d (Jenna marbles reference) I want to reply...
    TheBellaBubbles TheBellaBubbles 18-21, F 1 Response a week ago

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    Okay growing up in a Christian home. Reincarnation was not in my religion. But why did I remember choosing my family. For as long as I remember people have told me I have an old...
    Toasteroven333 Toasteroven333 26-30, F 3 Responses Apr 13

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    Not a lot of people have common sense nowadays . If you actually have common sense I admire that
    FlowerChildWithARockNRollSoul FlowerChildWithARockNRollSoul 18-21, F 11 Responses Apr 28

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    I hope you like watching it , normally Germans may have strange sense of humor , but this women is weird funny. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=okFWkvbRMkc&list...
    khenpal khenpal 51-55, M 1 Response Apr 11

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    OMG !!! My life is so full of hilarious crap that I do. So after going to great lengths to get all done up pretty (I'm gender variable) and heading out for a meeting, I suddenly...
    JessicaDale JessicaDale 51-55 6 Responses Apr 20

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      Hello Ladies and Gentlemen,Relationships are what makes up society. We all live our lives and go about everything trying to be happy. It is hard to be happy in life and...
    TrustIsLife TrustIsLife 22-25, M 5 Responses Apr 9

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    Drains. Yep, drains. I'm ok when it comes to sink drains, bath drains etc. But drains in the street are a big no no. When I see a drain I always have the sense that I am going to...
    WhiskeyRoger369 WhiskeyRoger369 16-17, M 3 Responses Apr 11

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    Narcissists have a toolbox that they use to manipulate people. Shaming, snooping, lying, rages, guilt trips and conspiracies that are carefully orchestrated (and often entirely...
    CristalBubbles CristalBubbles 31-35, F 3 Responses 5 days ago

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    common traits among synesthetes.... --more females than males --more likely to be lefties/ambidextrous --often confuse left and right --often have poor sense of direction --often...
    kinkystapler kinkystapler 18-21, F 3 days ago

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    Saturday morning humour: Ahaha!! SOOO true!!:)
    Gracey0079 Gracey0079 36-40, F 5 Responses 4 days ago

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    You ever get tired of people picking on you or bullying you? I swear I got my sense of humor from my mom! When dad divorced her after all his affairs...mom got tired of the women...
    teadiva teadiva 31-35, F 11 mins ago

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    My son believes wearing red socks make him to run faster. I am taking him very seriously. And also now it all give sense!
    Ninive Ninive 26-30, F 2 hrs ago

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    That horrible moment when you have no toilet paper and you scream for some and your brother brings you newspaper flavored with pepper spray. He has a mean and weird sense of humour...
    hindustaniberawem hindustaniberawem 16-17, M Apr 26

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    Dad: "Can I see your report card, son?" Son: "I don't have it." Dad: "Why?" Son: "I gave it to my friend. He wanted to scare his parents."
    timothyc31 timothyc31 41-45, M Apr 10

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    Little Johnny likes to gamble. One day, his dad gets a new job, so his family has to move to a new city. Johnny's dad thinks, "I'll get a head start on Johnny's gambling." He calls...
    timothyc31 timothyc31 41-45, M Apr 10

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    A husband got his mother-in-law a cemetery plot for Christmas. It came with a coffin, tomb stone, the works. Next Christmas comes by and the husband gets her nothing. When the...
    timothyc31 timothyc31 41-45, M 1 Response Apr 10

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    A mother went to pick up her daughter from elementary school and found her doing handstands against the wall. When they got into the car, the mother said, "Darling, I wish you...
    timothyc31 timothyc31 41-45, M 1 Response Apr 11