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I Have a Bizarre Sense of Humour

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 309 People

    Kanye World (Ep6) "Will you go to prom with me?

    " Kanye, I'm your dad. "AND DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH COURAGE IT TOOK TO ASK?!?"
    tenente tenente 31-35, M Apr 13, 2014

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    So Many Secrets

    The cast of Jersey Shore skateboards down the street, going door-to-door, searching for who knows what... "Honey!" I yell. "HONEY!!! Get the kids and go to the basement!!! Lock the door!!!" 'My past, it seems, has finally caught up with me...'
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 3 Responses Aug 5, 2013

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    Wisdom / Knowledge

    Phillip - "Subtle sweetness and a ripe sour flavor!" Tom - "Delicious! Firm texture and terrific paired with bacon and lettuce served on toasted bread!" Phillip - "Splendid! What shall we name this new fruit we discovered?" Chumley "Tomato!" Phillip - "..." Tom - "..." Phillip...
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 3 Responses Aug 7, 2013

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    Kanye World (Ep4)

    Open Scene: Kanye at the midway. Kanye : (Leaping to the front of the line, waiving his wallet and pushing past others waiting patiently.) 'How much for the horse tornado?' Carney : (Rolls eyes) 'Sir, that's a carousel...' Kanye : (Lifts Carney off the ground by his lapels...
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 2 Responses Aug 23, 2013

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    Awkward.

    I know it sounds alwful, but have you ever found the need to laugh at something completely NOT funny or awkward? I remember a friend of mine a few years ago came into school and told me her dog died and I just burst into fits of laughter, and I just couldn't stop! Not because I...
    AllyJG AllyJG 16-17, F Jan 21, 2011

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    Kanye World (Ep5)

    Open Scene: Kanye at his girlfriend Miko's apartment. Kanye : (Holding Miko in a loving embrace) 'Wow baby, you changed your makeup in 26 different hot ways?' Miko : (Smiling at Kanye, knowingly) 'MMMhmmm, you like that baby?...' Kanye : (Leans in slowly whispering into Miko's...
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 2 Responses Aug 28, 2013

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    I Know, I Don't Seem Like It

    But I do have a bizarre sense of humour... I'm usually just too scared of freaking people out or offending them to use it here ... or in 'real life' lol. Got to tone it down. And sometimes I can't strike a balance between bizarre and boring and wind up in the lame zone. That's...
    sugarburn sugarburn 22-25, F 4 Responses Jan 27, 2009

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    Quite...

    But then again it could have been this. Or that.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Mar 6, 2009

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    [Somewhere at a Whole Foods] Kanye: Pardon me

    sir, would you have pumpkin? Whole Foods Drone: (hands Kanye a pumpkin) here. Kanye: No no NO! PUMPKIN! It's a type of SPICE!
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 2 Responses Sep 11, 2014

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    Who Me?

    If I did I would not be laughing at it. Ha!
    deleted deleted 26-30 Apr 3, 2009

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    Kanye World (Ep3)

    Open Scene: Kanye strolls in a park down a winding dirt path beside a pond. He notices his reflection in the calm water. Kanye : (leaps to the edge of the pond; throwing fists at the water; splashing; screaming) HANG ON OTHER KANYE!!! I WILL RELEASE YOU!!!!!!
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 2 Responses Aug 20, 2013

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    Kanye World (Ep2)

    Opening Scene: Kanye, in a green friendly apron, is stacking soup can pyramids at the local Whole Foods. Jennifer, a middle aged mother of two, approaches Kanye, distressed and in need of assistance. Jennifer: (fidgeting with her grocery bag) Excuse me? Mister Kanye? Where...
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 1 Response Aug 13, 2013

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    Hillarious Doctor M

    Hi, i'm Monstermaster13. If my username is any indication, I have a strange and off-kilter sense of humour. If my stories are any indication....I love making fun of cliches especially horror cliches. My werecreature parodies like the werejohncandy and so on are perfect...
    Monstermaster13 Monstermaster13 22-25, M Mar 22, 2013

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    Delete Scenes (Ep1)

    Open Scene: Ubiquitous blue desk and backgound Cookie Monster : (growling crunching cookies with veracity of a shark attack) Om nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom...
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 3 Responses Aug 5, 2013

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    Kanye: "I guess the person I was looking

    for was in front of me all along." Me: "That's a mirror." Kanye: [nods] "It feels right."
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 2 Responses Jul 12, 2014

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    5000+ Thai women are seeking love in your

    area Honey? HONEY!?! Grab the kids and hide in the basement! Lock the door!!! :::my past, it seems, has finally caught up with me:::
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 3 Responses Jul 6, 2014

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    My Sense of Humour Can Cert...

    My sense of humour can certainly be called bizarre, but I call it more warped than anything.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Jan 27, 2009

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    Kanye World (Ep1)

    [Kanye Steps Up To The Podium] "At last, 5-out-of-5 Dentists agree..." "Uhhh, Excuse me Kanye!? Umm, why does that Dentist have a neck brace on???..." "5-OUT-OF-5 DENTISTS AGREE!!!!..." D:
    tenente tenente 31-35, M Aug 5, 2013

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    Yep, That's Me!

    Bizarre, or twisted, or warped, or something like that.  My coworkers tell me I have a strange sense of humor.  They have no idea how much I censor myself at work! Love the logo of this group, by the way.  My beloved cracked up over it. :-)  E. Bunbury
    EBunbury EBunbury 46-50, M Jun 1, 2008

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    Things I Think Are Funny...

    Things I find funny are usually not very funny to everyone else. Weird things like if someone says "monkey goo bar har har...?! " make me laugh so much more than people who have pre prepared "jokes" they've told a million times. (I do realise that monkey goo...
    Ladyhazasecret Ladyhazasecret 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 8, 2009

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    Wanted

    - I am quite sure most of you have seen the rather large green dragon that has been flying over northeast Buffalo,NY for the better part of a week. I am looking for someone to: 1) Lure said dragon away from Buffalo, NY to a more rural area (ie. Canada.) 2) Force said dragon to...
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 4 Responses Nov 14, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    I'm Human - Yes, I'm weird but at least I have a sense of humor. I do have a sense of humor, I just find it hypocritical that others can make fun of me but I can't make fun of...
    Monstermaster13 Monstermaster13 22-25, M 15 hrs ago

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    I am no one. I am empty and hallow inside. I need someone to tell me who I am. I want to have a purpose.
    littleweewee123 littleweewee123 41-45, M 2 days ago

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    Something to cheer you up and may be to touch your heart as well. http://www.google.com.au/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CB0QtwIwAA&url=http%3A%2F...
    berangere berangere 66-70, F 3 Responses Jan 1

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    Okay this is a short dream cause first I woke up with no dreams then went back to sleep with a short little dream. I was at a school playground and I was in 6th grade. I didn't...
    FanWriter1215 FanWriter1215 13-15, F Dec 31, 2014

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    So I had two weird dreams last night. In the first, I was smoking pot that affected me like it was acid. There was also a Christmas tree with candy canes made of cocaine and acid...
    ftmFreddy ftmFreddy 18-21, T 1 Response Jan 2

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    I can be very loud and open once I get to know a person, but I come off as very shy
    Sadie0923 Sadie0923 13-15, F Jan 2

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    Has anyone experienced smelling smoke when there is NO site of smoke smell not smoke around? My mom constantly says she smells smoke in the house. & she also said that she...
    theloveofmusic theloveofmusic 18-21, F Jan 6

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    Everything is a story till it passes right through you, and then it's real.
    kiddishguy kiddishguy 26-30, M Jan 9

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    I don't :P my worst fear is not being able to follow a GPS (which is a no-brainer...I think) and getting totally lost. xD
    ShakenButNotBroken ShakenButNotBroken 18-21, F Jan 17

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    How do chemicals react? They just do.
    InnocentShattered InnocentShattered 18-21 Jan 18

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    It's very hard to offend me...sometimes...okay, depending on my mood. :0)
    badazzbasicbich badazzbasicbich 18-21, F 1 Response a week ago

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    You know. I couldn't care less if you are male,female,transgendered,gender positive,bi,poly,gay,straightCatholic,Protestant,Muslim,Taoist,Maoist,Sikh,Hindu,Buddhist,black,white...
    picklebobble picklebobble 46-50, M 2 Responses Jan 10

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    I do admire people who have common sense but I sooooooo enjoy people who are common sense stupid. they are so much fun to sit back and watch, annoying as hell to deal with but yet...
    sixtens sixtens 36-40, F 2 Responses Jan 7

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    Have you ever wondered where our powers come from? I have a sort of "Spidey-Sense"= I can tell when and where danger is coming. I also have enhanced senses. I believe our powers...
    Jsmith61774 Jsmith61774 13-15 2 Responses Jan 10

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    I think people who don`t have common sense are hilarious. "Like dude!" People can be really stupid these days. It cracks me up every single time.
    BookWorm333 BookWorm333 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 10

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    I had this dream where I walk into a room and I see a little girl sitting down with her face buried into her knees. She has bruises and she's crying. I automatically have a sense...
    aquikay aquikay 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 12

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    Timeline part 4. And the story continues. Leave it to me to make the simplest things as complicated as any novel. After Caryn's death I continued to live and work as before. My...
    bcvegas4u2 bcvegas4u2 66-70, M Jan 21

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    I'm not sure these were meant to be intentionally funny but where I live we get some 'crackers'..... here's just one or two: Where you go to have your tyres mended is called the...
    Patchoulimoon Patchoulimoon 51-55, F 1 hr ago

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    Who doesn't love people with a good sense of humour? I love a good laugh
    adekue adekue 18-21, F Jan 2

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    Absolutely!!! A sense of humour is a vital piece of your defences in this life. Nurture it!!!
    picklebobble picklebobble 46-50, M Jan 11

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    Sure, my sense of humour is not entirely deaf, blind and otherwise 'sensorially oblivious'. I try to stay 'present' mind, body and soul while I am listening to......any number of...
    Tannasheart Tannasheart 46-50, F Jan 19

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    How needs money let's have a laugh play mates! Some folks have little humour but its their loss :-D
    EndlessRiver EndlessRiver 41-45, M 1 Response Jan 11

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    When pepole make jokes sometimes it can sound a bit offencive but seriously can we just take a joke insted of crying about one for the next 456790 years but i have a sence of...
    andiloveyou andiloveyou 16-17, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    Me and some of my friends used to pull so many whacky stunts when we were kids. For example, one time me and a buddy dressed up like SPIES, wearing our Dads trench coats, fedora...
    aag311 aag311 41-45, M 2 Responses Jan 8

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    I don't know how to move past my DUI in my head My family and friends are being very supportive because they know what a good person I am and how much I contribute to society and...
    freespirit182 freespirit182 31-35, F 3 Responses Jan 21

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    my name is Ciara and I'm 19 and I am currently in the hospital post laminectomy. I have had back pain for about a year now. I had an inflamed SI joint that I recieved 3 steroid...
    cjacobs34 cjacobs34 18-21, F 2 hrs ago

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