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I Have a Bizarre Sense of Humour

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 277 People

    Kanye World (Ep3)

    Open Scene: Kanye strolls in a park down a winding dirt path beside a pond. He notices his reflection in the calm water. Kanye : (leaps to the edge of the pond; throwing fists at the water; splashing; screaming) HANG ON OTHER KANYE!!! I WILL RELEASE YOU!!!!!!
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 2 Responses Aug 20, 2013

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    So Many Secrets

    The cast of Jersey Shore skateboards down the street, going door-to-door, searching for who knows what... "Honey!" I yell. "HONEY!!! Get the kids and go to the basement!!! Lock the door!!!" 'My past, it seems, has finally caught up with me...'
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 3 Responses Aug 5, 2013

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    Just Check Me Out

    If you read what I've scrbbled on the EP walls you'll see that I have a twisted sense of humor, mostly dark.  Or not, depending on your own bent.
    dorobo dorobo 70+, M 4 Responses May 4, 2008

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    Kanye World (Ep1)

    [Kanye Steps Up To The Podium] "At last, 5-out-of-5 Dentists agree..." "Uhhh, Excuse me Kanye!? Umm, why does that Dentist have a neck brace on???..." "5-OUT-OF-5 DENTISTS AGREE!!!!..." D:
    tenente tenente 31-35, M Aug 5, 2013

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    Yep, That's Me!

    Bizarre, or twisted, or warped, or something like that.  My coworkers tell me I have a strange sense of humor.  They have no idea how much I censor myself at work! Love the logo of this group, by the way.  My beloved cracked up over it. :-)  E. Bunbury
    EBunbury EBunbury 46-50, M Jun 1, 2008

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    Wisdom / Knowledge

    Phillip - "Subtle sweetness and a ripe sour flavor!" Tom - "Delicious! Firm texture and terrific paired with bacon and lettuce served on toasted bread!" Phillip - "Splendid! What shall we name this new fruit we discovered?" Chumley "Tomato!" Phillip - "..." Tom - "..." Phillip...
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 3 Responses Aug 7, 2013

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    My Sense of Humour Can Cert...

    My sense of humour can certainly be called bizarre, but I call it more warped than anything.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Jan 27, 2009

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    Kanye World (Ep2)

    Opening Scene: Kanye, in a green friendly apron, is stacking soup can pyramids at the local Whole Foods. Jennifer, a middle aged mother of two, approaches Kanye, distressed and in need of assistance. Jennifer: (fidgeting with her grocery bag) Excuse me? Mister Kanye? Where...
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 1 Response Aug 13, 2013

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    Delete Scenes (Ep1)

    Open Scene: Ubiquitous blue desk and backgound Cookie Monster : (growling crunching cookies with veracity of a shark attack) Om nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom...
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 3 Responses Aug 5, 2013

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    Kanye World (Ep4)

    Open Scene: Kanye at the midway. Kanye : (Leaping to the front of the line, waiving his wallet and pushing past others waiting patiently.) 'How much for the horse tornado?' Carney : (Rolls eyes) 'Sir, that's a carousel...' Kanye : (Lifts Carney off the ground by his lapels...
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 2 Responses Aug 23, 2013

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    Kanye World (Ep6) "Will you go to prom with me?

    " Kanye, I'm your dad. "AND DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH COURAGE IT TOOK TO ASK?!?"
    tenente tenente 31-35, M Apr 13

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    Kanye: "I guess the person I was looking

    for was in front of me all along." Me: "That's a mirror." Kanye: [nods] "It feels right."
    tenente tenente 31-35, M Jul 12

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    I Know, I Don't Seem Like It

    But I do have a bizarre sense of humour... I'm usually just too scared of freaking people out or offending them to use it here ... or in 'real life' lol. Got to tone it down. And sometimes I can't strike a balance between bizarre and boring and wind up in the lame zone. That's...
    sugarburn sugarburn 22-25, F 4 Responses Jan 27, 2009

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    Hillarious Doctor M

    Hi, i'm Monstermaster13. If my username is any indication, I have a strange and off-kilter sense of humour. If my stories are any indication....I love making fun of cliches especially horror cliches. My werecreature parodies like the werejohncandy and so on are perfect...
    Monstermaster13 Monstermaster13 22-25, M Mar 22, 2013

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    5000+ Thai women are seeking love in your

    area Honey? HONEY!?! Grab the kids and hide in the basement! Lock the door!!! :::my past, it seems, has finally caught up with me:::
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 1 Response Jul 6

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    Awkward.

    I know it sounds alwful, but have you ever found the need to laugh at something completely NOT funny or awkward? I remember a friend of mine a few years ago came into school and told me her dog died and I just burst into fits of laughter, and I just couldn't stop! Not because I...
    AllyJG AllyJG 16-17, F 1 Response Jan 21, 2011

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    Wanted

    - I am quite sure most of you have seen the rather large green dragon that has been flying over northeast Buffalo,NY for the better part of a week. I am looking for someone to: 1) Lure said dragon away from Buffalo, NY to a more rural area (ie. Canada.) 2) Force said dragon to...
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 4 Responses Nov 14, 2013

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    Who Me?

    If I did I would not be laughing at it. Ha!
    deleted deleted 26-30 Apr 3, 2009

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    http://www.experienceproject.

    com/stories/Just-Have-To-Say/4445569
    Livyn4pals Livyn4pals 46-50, M Jun 22

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    Quite...

    But then again it could have been this. Or that.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Mar 6, 2009

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    Things I Think Are Funny...

    Things I find funny are usually not very funny to everyone else. Weird things like if someone says "monkey goo bar har har...?! " make me laugh so much more than people who have pre prepared "jokes" they've told a million times. (I do realise that monkey goo...
    Ladyhazasecret Ladyhazasecret 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 8, 2009

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    Kanye World (Ep5)

    Open Scene: Kanye at his girlfriend Miko's apartment. Kanye : (Holding Miko in a loving embrace) 'Wow baby, you changed your makeup in 26 different hot ways?' Miko : (Smiling at Kanye, knowingly) 'MMMhmmm, you like that baby?...' Kanye : (Leans in slowly whispering into Miko's...
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 2 Responses Aug 28, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    It's amazing, how many perverts are on this site. They have a sense of entitlement when it comes to the well-meaning women, men, and in some disgusting cases, underage girls and...
    Boulier Boulier 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 2

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    Had heightened senses at one time in my life. All five senses. Lasted about two months. I did some research on this. Adrenalin/epinephrine is a naturally chemical that goes...
    Deeperthinker Deeperthinker 31-35, M 1 Response Aug 14

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    y so srs? Don't be so serious all the time. I like to have a good laugh once in a while.
    xMikayla xMikayla 13-15, F 2 Responses Jul 31

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    Stacy's Mom 
    DjDeadman DjDeadman 70+ Aug 9

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    ​Bloodhound Gang - Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo 
    DjDeadman DjDeadman 70+ Aug 9

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    ​Bloodhound Gang-Altogether Ooky 
    DjDeadman DjDeadman 70+ Aug 9

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    ​Bloodhound Gang Screwing You On The Beach At Night 
    DjDeadman DjDeadman 70+ Aug 9

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    ​Bloodhound Gang - No Hard Feelings 
    DjDeadman DjDeadman 70+ Aug 9

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    ​Bloodhound Gang - A Lap Dance Is So Much Better When The ******** Is Crying 
    DjDeadman DjDeadman 70+ Aug 9

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    The Bloodhound Gang - Magna *** Nada   
    DjDeadman DjDeadman 70+ Aug 9

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    ​BloodHound Gang Balls out 
    DjDeadman DjDeadman 70+ Aug 9

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    ​Bloodhound gang - Farting with the walkman on 
    DjDeadman DjDeadman 70+ Aug 9

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    ​The Bloodhound Gang - Three Point One Four 
    DjDeadman DjDeadman 70+ Aug 9

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    No one said a good one ... :P
    Chrissaysyourock Chrissaysyourock 16-17, M 2 days ago

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    To make it on this planet you have to have a sense of humor. You need to be able to laugh at yourself as well. Women demand it. I can honestly say I have laughed my way into women...
    smokethis smokethis 51-55, M Jul 30

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    This is such a rarity anymore. All the same..I find it totally attractive. In a time where ppl have all of these smart devices they have allowed themselves to "dumb" down. I love...
    innocentlyshy101 innocentlyshy101 31-35, F 1 Response Aug 12

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    So I just read an article about 4 teens that threw a 4 pound soccer ball size rock over an overpass and hit a car, severely injuring the woman driving. She lost her right eye, part...
    AjLeePunk AjLeePunk 22-25, F 6 Responses a week ago

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    At one in my point in my life I did. At another I couldnt go a single night with out some sort of substance to enhance my night. I loved how with a few sips changed everything...
    AxiosThanatos AxiosThanatos 18-21, M 1 Response Aug 2

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    I have a worst father in the world. He is such a loser. In spite of so much of knowledge , he couldn't do anything in his career. He himself don't value his parents and deserted...
    TrueLoverN TrueLoverN 26-30, F 1 Response Aug 11

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    Just got a new job working security at a hospital. I trained Thursday night even though I work first shift, the guy that trained me said the people that work in the hospital during...
    PierceTheOvercastKid PierceTheOvercastKid 22-25, F 1 Response Aug 18

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    I feel the need to post this to ensure other EP members know a little about me before judgement is passed. I am not here to harass, bully, take charge or spam/troll. I am merely...
    PrunuSserrulata PrunuSserrulata 31-35, F 28 Responses Jul 31

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    I went through old photos...WHY? OMG WHY? You can see the decline of my health and see my aura being ripped from me as the photographs become more recent. Even just 4 years ago I...
    DevilDoll13 DevilDoll13 36-40, F 11 hrs ago

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    I rarely like story type jokes, but enjoy people with an active sense of humour.....
    artymike8 artymike8 41-45, M 1 day ago

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    I should have guessed that you would be the one with the most elaborate car in the entire parking lot. Only you would drive a car in that color red. It makes a whole lot of sense...
    Romantical Romantical 22-25 6 hrs ago

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    I have a weird dark sense of humour licks face
    8tattoos 8tattoos 70+, M 2 Responses Aug 6

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    It's a shame about me and my ex. We shared the same sense of humour; she had none, so she borrowed mine..
    Darleneblower Darleneblower 41-45, T Aug 12

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    I usually tell myself jokes because I seem to be the only one who understands my sense of humour.
    Although Although 13-15 1 Response 4 days ago

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    When I was very young my grandparents used to watch my younger sister and I. My grandmother, who was an amazing woman that I miss very much, told me when you don't know what to do...
    lilHuman lilHuman 22-25, F 1 Response 15 hrs ago
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