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I Have a Bizarre Sense of Humour

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 313 People

    Hillarious Doctor M

    Hi, i'm Monstermaster13. If my username is any indication, I have a strange and off-kilter sense of humour. If my stories are any indication....I love making fun of cliches especially horror cliches. My werecreature parodies like the werejohncandy and so on are perfect...
    Monstermaster13 Monstermaster13 22-25, M Mar 22, 2013

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    [Somewhere at a Whole Foods] Kanye: Pardon me

    sir, would you have pumpkin? Whole Foods Drone: (hands Kanye a pumpkin) here. Kanye: No no NO! PUMPKIN! It's a type of SPICE!
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 3 Responses Sep 11, 2014

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    Wanted

    - I am quite sure most of you have seen the rather large green dragon that has been flying over northeast Buffalo,NY for the better part of a week. I am looking for someone to: 1) Lure said dragon away from Buffalo, NY to a more rural area (ie. Canada.) 2) Force said dragon to...
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 4 Responses Nov 14, 2013

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    Kanye World (Ep3)

    Open Scene: Kanye strolls in a park down a winding dirt path beside a pond. He notices his reflection in the calm water. Kanye : (leaps to the edge of the pond; throwing fists at the water; splashing; screaming) HANG ON OTHER KANYE!!! I WILL RELEASE YOU!!!!!!
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 2 Responses Aug 20, 2013

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    I Know, I Don't Seem Like It

    But I do have a bizarre sense of humour... I'm usually just too scared of freaking people out or offending them to use it here ... or in 'real life' lol. Got to tone it down. And sometimes I can't strike a balance between bizarre and boring and wind up in the lame zone. That's...
    sugarburn sugarburn 22-25, F 4 Responses Jan 27, 2009

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    Kanye: "I guess the person I was looking

    for was in front of me all along." Me: "That's a mirror." Kanye: [nods] "It feels right."
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 2 Responses Jul 12, 2014

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    Wisdom / Knowledge

    Phillip - "Subtle sweetness and a ripe sour flavor!" Tom - "Delicious! Firm texture and terrific paired with bacon and lettuce served on toasted bread!" Phillip - "Splendid! What shall we name this new fruit we discovered?" Chumley "Tomato!" Phillip - "..." Tom - "..." Phillip...
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 3 Responses Aug 7, 2013

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    Things I Think Are Funny...

    Things I find funny are usually not very funny to everyone else. Weird things like if someone says "monkey goo bar har har...?! " make me laugh so much more than people who have pre prepared "jokes" they've told a million times. (I do realise that monkey goo...
    Ladyhazasecret Ladyhazasecret 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 8, 2009

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    Yep, That's Me!

    Bizarre, or twisted, or warped, or something like that.  My coworkers tell me I have a strange sense of humor.  They have no idea how much I censor myself at work! Love the logo of this group, by the way.  My beloved cracked up over it. :-)  E. Bunbury
    EBunbury EBunbury 46-50, M Jun 1, 2008

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    5000+ Thai women are seeking love in your

    area Honey? HONEY!?! Grab the kids and hide in the basement! Lock the door!!! :::my past, it seems, has finally caught up with me:::
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 3 Responses Jul 6, 2014

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    Kanye World (Ep5)

    Open Scene: Kanye at his girlfriend Miko's apartment. Kanye : (Holding Miko in a loving embrace) 'Wow baby, you changed your makeup in 26 different hot ways?' Miko : (Smiling at Kanye, knowingly) 'MMMhmmm, you like that baby?...' Kanye : (Leans in slowly whispering into Miko's...
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 2 Responses Aug 28, 2013

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    My Sense of Humour Can Cert...

    My sense of humour can certainly be called bizarre, but I call it more warped than anything.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Jan 27, 2009

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    Quite...

    But then again it could have been this. Or that.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Mar 6, 2009

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    Delete Scenes (Ep1)

    Open Scene: Ubiquitous blue desk and backgound Cookie Monster : (growling crunching cookies with veracity of a shark attack) Om nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom...
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 3 Responses Aug 5, 2013

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    Kanye World (Ep1)

    [Kanye Steps Up To The Podium] "At last, 5-out-of-5 Dentists agree..." "Uhhh, Excuse me Kanye!? Umm, why does that Dentist have a neck brace on???..." "5-OUT-OF-5 DENTISTS AGREE!!!!..." D:
    tenente tenente 31-35, M Aug 5, 2013

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    Kanye World (Ep4)

    Open Scene: Kanye at the midway. Kanye : (Leaping to the front of the line, waiving his wallet and pushing past others waiting patiently.) 'How much for the horse tornado?' Carney : (Rolls eyes) 'Sir, that's a carousel...' Kanye : (Lifts Carney off the ground by his lapels...
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 2 Responses Aug 23, 2013

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    So Many Secrets

    The cast of Jersey Shore skateboards down the street, going door-to-door, searching for who knows what... "Honey!" I yell. "HONEY!!! Get the kids and go to the basement!!! Lock the door!!!" 'My past, it seems, has finally caught up with me...'
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 3 Responses Aug 5, 2013

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    Who Me?

    If I did I would not be laughing at it. Ha!
    deleted deleted 26-30 Apr 3, 2009

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    Kanye World (Ep6) "Will you go to prom with me?

    " Kanye, I'm your dad. "AND DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH COURAGE IT TOOK TO ASK?!?"
    tenente tenente 31-35, M Apr 13, 2014

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    Kanye World (Ep2)

    Opening Scene: Kanye, in a green friendly apron, is stacking soup can pyramids at the local Whole Foods. Jennifer, a middle aged mother of two, approaches Kanye, distressed and in need of assistance. Jennifer: (fidgeting with her grocery bag) Excuse me? Mister Kanye? Where...
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 1 Response Aug 13, 2013

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    Awkward.

    I know it sounds alwful, but have you ever found the need to laugh at something completely NOT funny or awkward? I remember a friend of mine a few years ago came into school and told me her dog died and I just burst into fits of laughter, and I just couldn't stop! Not because I...
    AllyJG AllyJG 16-17, F Jan 21, 2011

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    Related Experiences

    I have the most bizarre dreams sometimes. The recent dream I had was about my boyfriend and my boyfriend's best friend which is my roommate and my old best friend. In my dream my...
    katychatty katychatty 18-21, F 2 days ago

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    I remember falling in the dark and landing safely at the bottom of a mine.
    sroonaka616 sroonaka616 18-21 3 hrs ago

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    Always had. Since I remember myself. Like a lynch movie and then some.
    axon1001 axon1001 41-45, M 6 days ago

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    Weird dream last night! I was ghost with my friend! But we couldn't float through the walls or floors! Only doors.... Anyway, we were at this house cause these girls were having...
    FanWriter1215 FanWriter1215 13-15, F 4 days ago

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    Tbh .. I don't want anything serious.. I'm not ready for the emotional part yet .. 😁
    bprice0600 bprice0600 18-21, F 2 days ago

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    Oh dear god... Dear god. Dear god. Oh my god. Holy ****! Oh my ******* god! Absolutely the most mind-blowing thing I've ever experienced. I'd even venture to say that it's the...
    metaphylosopher metaphylosopher 22-25, M 2 Responses Feb 13

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    Well it should just be like idk, everyone should have common sense. It shouldn't be something that should be admired. Sadly, a lot of people don't have it or they just don't use it...
    wedgieshurtalot wedgieshurtalot 16-17, F 2 Responses a week ago

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    Some have a lot of Lumour - Low on humour!
    BUalways BUalways 46-50, M 5 days ago

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    If you loose one sense, your other senses are enhanced, is that why people with no sense of humour have an increased sense of self-importance ?
    Heartbroken46 Heartbroken46 41-45, F 5 Responses 5 days ago

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    When I was a teenager, there were times when I was angry, but there was a little trick to help me get over my anger. That little trick was humor. Since then, I always enjoyed...
    growingwisdom growingwisdom 22-25, M 1 Response 4 days ago

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    If my tumble dryer could tell jokes it would have a dry sense of humour
    XUD9 XUD9 18-21, M 1 Response Feb 5

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    I have a weird sense of humour - I find this funny:“A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more. The man said, "Men...
    EclipseV EclipseV 31-35, M 4 Responses 4 days ago

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    I like to be with people that have a good sense of humor. I do not like to hear or see people try to be standup comics. I think standup comics are just looking to get some...
    planter715 planter715 51-55, M 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    Doesnt mean I have a crude sense of humour, I am open to solicitations.
    AcousticAnne1 AcousticAnne1 26-30, F 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    I often hold myself back in public, rejection really messes with my head so having a weird sense of humour kinda sucks.
    JackH19 JackH19 18-21, M 5 Responses 15 hrs ago

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    I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three...
    timothyc31 timothyc31 41-45, M Feb 4

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    Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?" Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."
    timothyc31 timothyc31 41-45, M Feb 7

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    A bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?" "Okay, sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call...
    timothyc31 timothyc31 41-45, M Feb 7

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    A wife comes home late one night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket, she sees four legs instead of just her husband's two. She reaches for a baseball...
    timothyc31 timothyc31 41-45, M Feb 7

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    A married couple got a red haired child after many years.The couple had a brown hair,so the husband became suspicious and the wife upset.They saw the doctor,who was puzzled,because...
    teachocolate teachocolate 41-45, F 8 Responses Feb 7

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    I just found this on youtube. It's a Jamican take on Trini's - I will say not all trinidadian's are like this , so she is like 50% correct on the music , the heavy hand , the...
    Stephenrko Stephenrko 31-35, M Feb 9

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    "YES I HAVE A HEART. ... Normally, I just keep it in the fridge"
    ArrowPewPew ArrowPewPew 18-21 7 Responses Feb 13

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