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I Have a Bizarre Sense of Humour

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 322 People

    So Many Secrets

    The cast of Jersey Shore skateboards down the street, going door-to-door, searching for who knows what... "Honey!" I yell. "HONEY!!! Get the kids and go to the basement!!! Lock the door!!!" 'My past, it seems, has finally caught up with me...'
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 2 Responses Aug 5, 2013

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    Awkward.

    I know it sounds alwful, but have you ever found the need to laugh at something completely NOT funny or awkward? I remember a friend of mine a few years ago came into school and told me her dog died and I just burst into fits of laughter, and I just couldn't stop! Not because I...
    AllyJG AllyJG 16-17, F Jan 21, 2011

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    Hillarious Doctor M

    Hi, i'm Monstermaster13. If my username is any indication, I have a strange and off-kilter sense of humour. If my stories are any indication....I love making fun of cliches especially horror cliches. My werecreature parodies like the werejohncandy and so on are perfect...
    Monstermaster13 Monstermaster13 22-25, M Mar 22, 2013

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    Kanye World (Ep3)

    Open Scene: Kanye strolls in a park down a winding dirt path beside a pond. He notices his reflection in the calm water. Kanye : (leaps to the edge of the pond; throwing fists at the water; splashing; screaming) HANG ON OTHER KANYE!!! I WILL RELEASE YOU!!!!!!
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 1 Response Aug 20, 2013

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    Kanye World (Ep5)

    Open Scene: Kanye at his girlfriend Miko's apartment. Kanye : (Holding Miko in a loving embrace) 'Wow baby, you changed your makeup in 26 different hot ways?' Miko : (Smiling at Kanye, knowingly) 'MMMhmmm, you like that baby?...' Kanye : (Leans in slowly whispering into Miko's...
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 2 Responses Aug 28, 2013

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    Quite...

    But then again it could have been this. Or that.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Mar 6, 2009

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    Yep, That's Me!

    Bizarre, or twisted, or warped, or something like that.  My coworkers tell me I have a strange sense of humor.  They have no idea how much I censor myself at work! Love the logo of this group, by the way.  My beloved cracked up over it. :-)  E. Bunbury
    EBunbury EBunbury 46-50, M Jun 1, 2008

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    Wisdom / Knowledge

    Phillip - "Subtle sweetness and a ripe sour flavor!" Tom - "Delicious! Firm texture and terrific paired with bacon and lettuce served on toasted bread!" Phillip - "Splendid! What shall we name this new fruit we discovered?" Chumley "Tomato!" Phillip - "..." Tom - "..." Phillip...
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 3 Responses Aug 7, 2013

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    Things I Think Are Funny...

    Things I find funny are usually not very funny to everyone else. Weird things like if someone says "monkey goo bar har har...?! " make me laugh so much more than people who have pre prepared "jokes" they've told a million times. (I do realise that monkey goo...
    Ladyhazasecret Ladyhazasecret 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 8, 2009

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    Kanye World (Ep6) "Will you go to prom with me?

    " Kanye, I'm your dad. "AND DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH COURAGE IT TOOK TO ASK?!?"
    tenente tenente 31-35, M Apr 13, 2014

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    My Sense of Humour Can Cert...

    My sense of humour can certainly be called bizarre, but I call it more warped than anything.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Jan 27, 2009

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    [Somewhere at a Whole Foods] Kanye: Pardon me

    sir, would you have pumpkin? Whole Foods Drone: (hands Kanye a pumpkin) here. Kanye: No no NO! PUMPKIN! It's a type of SPICE!
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 2 Responses Sep 11, 2014

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    Kanye: "I guess the person I was looking

    for was in front of me all along." Me: "That's a mirror." Kanye: [nods] "It feels right."
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 3 Responses Jul 12, 2014

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    5000+ Thai women are seeking love in your

    area Honey? HONEY!?! Grab the kids and hide in the basement! Lock the door!!! :::my past, it seems, has finally caught up with me:::
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 2 Responses Jul 6, 2014

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    Kanye World (Ep4)

    Open Scene: Kanye at the midway. Kanye : (Leaping to the front of the line, waiving his wallet and pushing past others waiting patiently.) 'How much for the horse tornado?' Carney : (Rolls eyes) 'Sir, that's a carousel...' Kanye : (Lifts Carney off the ground by his lapels...
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 2 Responses Aug 23, 2013

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    Wanted

    - I am quite sure most of you have seen the rather large green dragon that has been flying over northeast Buffalo,NY for the better part of a week. I am looking for someone to: 1) Lure said dragon away from Buffalo, NY to a more rural area (ie. Canada.) 2) Force said dragon to...
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 2 Responses Nov 14, 2013

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    Kanye World (Ep1)

    [Kanye Steps Up To The Podium] "At last, 5-out-of-5 Dentists agree..." "Uhhh, Excuse me Kanye!? Umm, why does that Dentist have a neck brace on???..." "5-OUT-OF-5 DENTISTS AGREE!!!!..." D:
    tenente tenente 31-35, M Aug 5, 2013

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    Delete Scenes (Ep1)

    Open Scene: Ubiquitous blue desk and backgound Cookie Monster : (growling crunching cookies with veracity of a shark attack) Om nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom...
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 3 Responses Aug 5, 2013

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    Who Me?

    If I did I would not be laughing at it. Ha!
    deleted deleted 26-30 Apr 3, 2009

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    I Know, I Don't Seem Like It

    But I do have a bizarre sense of humour... I'm usually just too scared of freaking people out or offending them to use it here ... or in 'real life' lol. Got to tone it down. And sometimes I can't strike a balance between bizarre and boring and wind up in the lame zone. That's...
    sugarburn sugarburn 22-25, F 4 Responses Jan 27, 2009

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    Kanye World (Ep2)

    Opening Scene: Kanye, in a green friendly apron, is stacking soup can pyramids at the local Whole Foods. Jennifer, a middle aged mother of two, approaches Kanye, distressed and in need of assistance. Jennifer: (fidgeting with her grocery bag) Excuse me? Mister Kanye? Where...
    tenente tenente 31-35, M 1 Response Aug 13, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    Hi, this is my story about said topic.. thanks for reading, if you stick around to the very end .. :D :) it all started when i was about 4. . i "accepted Jesus into my heart...
    tobeheld tobeheld 16-17, F 1 hr ago

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    Yeah so, I washed my blender in a previous story to wash off the maggots from the interior. I did not know that the blender itself had holes that allow the mechanisms to propel...
    ONESTARRYSTARRYNIGHT ONESTARRYSTARRYNIGHT 26-30, F 1 Response 12 hrs ago

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    Desire can be so powerful. It consumes every part of you and enhances your site by a million.When you're in the moment it enhances your senses of sight and all you can do is see...
    HeartOfPoetry HeartOfPoetry 36-40, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    70 percent of the body is made up of water,the ocean covers 70 percent of  planets surface,the 700 Club is the longest~ running religious television program,the 7th day is the...
    miimii0069 miimii0069 26-30, F 15 Responses 3 days ago

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    I have just competed Latin I and will be entering Latin II next year. For those wondering... My username translates to "I am bizarre." My status (as of now) translates to...
    EgoSumProdigiosum EgoSumProdigiosum 13-15, M 3 Responses 4 days ago

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    I really enjoy watching beautiful women smoking...In a non-pervy OR creepy way. I just think they are so attractive, and have a sense of security & power - Very sexy! I was...
    Jfour001 Jfour001 31-35, M 1 Response 4 days ago

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    I was diagnosed with PTS almost 3 years ago after undergoing surgery to remove a bone spur. I still don’t have full use of my arm and still suffer pain, but have learned what...
    PDG1 PDG1 46-50 5 days ago

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    This guy is my hero!!!! I wonder how many people have fallen for this?! Lol
    Nousername215 Nousername215 22-25, M 1 Response 5 days ago

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    You might look at my profile and think I'm a depressive with no humour. Yes, my posts are real and I suffer from depression, but it doesn't mean I'm incapable of sense of humour. I...
    usernameinneed usernameinneed 26-30, M 1 Response 5 days ago

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    For a bloody good laught!
    berangere berangere 66-70, F 5 Responses 6 days ago

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    Man goes to the doctor. Doctor: 'What can I do for you today?' Man: 'I'm concerned that I seem to have a piece of lettuce hanging out of my bum' Doctor: examines the piece of...
    Teamouse Teamouse 26-30, F 3 Responses 6 days ago

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    Bizarre title but it can happen. The summer after I finished high school I picked up a job in a poultry packing plant to earn money for college. I was working the 4 to midnight...
    Roastedacorn Roastedacorn 41-45, M 1 Response 6 days ago

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    [This is only for humour]. I have the solution to the obesity crisis. You should place every fast food restaurant brand on high hills, and have no parking or camping allowed on...
    NatashaRose NatashaRose 18-21, F 2 Responses a week ago

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    It is good when things go together right and you don't doubt a decision because you reasoned it out. Common Sense is one of those things I am thankful is there when I need it.
    FrankK70 FrankK70 41-45, M 1 Response Jul 24

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    Laughter, a giggle, a chuckle...those tiny doses of happiness injected in between musings, worrying, and philosophizing...they are the tiny beams of lights penetrating the stuffy...
    iCuriousBabe iCuriousBabe 41-45, F 2 Responses Jul 24

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    I'm gonna bend these words a bit. I have the great fortune of having a rather phenomenal group of friends on here....and one of the things I find some amazing is how we all seem...
    Extant1 Extant1 51-55, M 11 Responses Jul 24

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    Omg, belief in spells, spellcasters and God, spam, spam, rubbish, lies, not common sense at all, oops I will get the oogy boogies put on me......lol fn wrecked a good post that...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Jul 23

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    I used to think that finding the right one was about the man having a list of certain qualities. If he has them, we'd be compatible and happy. Sort of a checkmark system that was a...
    GirlieGirl07 GirlieGirl07 41-45, F 1 Response Jul 23

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    What's with people sense of humor now a days...I wonder. I got a message from an EP member yesterday, asking me from where I was (country) I responded to him that I was from...
    l1skub4n l1skub4n 26-30, F 1 Response Jul 23

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    http://themindunleashed.org/2015/07/the-people-of-this-isolated-tribe-kill-anyone-approaching-their-island.html On an isolated Indian island lives a tribe that has never had...
    Levat Levat 22-25, M Jul 23

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    not so much as admire common sense but as dislike idiots,, a lot.
    deleted deleted 26-30 5 Responses Jul 22

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    Heather invited her mother over for dinner. During the meal, her mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful Heather's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of Heather's...
    IBelongToAlison IBelongToAlison 41-45, F 2 Responses Jul 21

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    I have a very weird sense of humour yet totally random, sometimes I get people thinking "WTF" and they end up laughing. I have no limits when it comes to my sense of humour, I find...
    WokenandOpen WokenandOpen 31-35, M