I met this guy at my work 8 month ago. I came to the USA from Europe and it's not easy for me to have friends here. He was nice and charm and gave me thousands complements. He sent me messages where he expressed how he feels about me. I have a boyfriend and he had an online relationship with a girl from Philippines. He asked me about chances and convinced me how much he likes me. I've tried to stop it, but we were meet at work each day and I liked him more and more. We become very close friends and after 2 month even more closer.
He went to Philippines for the vacation and he came back engaged. In meanwhile I've understood I am in love with him. He said he is in love with this girl and he loves me too. I quit my job and was trying to forget about him. I didn't see him for two month and we've started to hung out again 3 weeks ago.
His fiance is waiting for his invitation almost 3 month and he said to her he needs more time. At the same time he messaged me he wants to call off this engagement because of me. Than he said he doesn't want to brake her hearts.
I logically understand I need to stop it. But emotionally I cannot. I am cheating my bf and have no future with this guy. Anytime I want to stop it I become so depressed and scared and experienced a panic attacks. Looks like he wants to keep me like this and he is happy don't doing anything.
I don't feel happy. I feel like I am addicted from him, like I am trapped. I cannot stop thinking about him and anytime when he wants to see me I sit in my car and drive to his house. He introduced me to his mom, dad and brother. He likes to spend time with me, talk about everything but sometimes he doesn't show up for couple of days and I feel like I am crazy. I feel guilty to my boyfriend and still think I love him. I've just cannot take my power back and control myself.
My boyfriend is much older then me and this guy is just a 2 years younger than me. I do not know the reason for this addiction, but I am confused and terribly tired to understand what I am doing.