I Have a Broken Heart Forum & Chat Board | i don't know how to stop it

I met this guy at my work 8 month ago. I came to the USA from Europe and it's not easy for me to have  friends here. He was nice and charm and gave me thousands complements. He sent me messages where he expressed how he feels about me.  I have a boyfriend and he had an online relationship with a girl from Philippines. He asked me about chances and convinced me how much he likes me. I've tried to stop it, but we were meet at work each day and I liked him more and more. We become very close friends and after 2 month even more closer.

He went to Philippines for the vacation and he came back engaged. In meanwhile I've understood I am in love with him. He said he is in love with this girl and he loves me too. I quit my job and was trying to forget about him. I didn't see him for two month and we've started to hung out again 3 weeks ago.

His fiance is waiting for his invitation almost 3 month and he said to her he needs more time. At the same time he messaged me he wants to call off this engagement because of me. Than he said he doesn't want to brake her hearts.

I logically understand I need to stop it. But emotionally I cannot. I am cheating my bf and have no future with this guy. Anytime I want to stop it I become so depressed and scared and experienced a panic attacks. Looks like he wants to keep me like this and he is happy don't doing anything.

I don't feel happy. I feel like I am addicted from him, like I am trapped. I cannot stop thinking about him and anytime when he wants to see me I sit in my car and drive to his house. He introduced me to his mom, dad and brother. He likes to spend time with me, talk about everything but sometimes he doesn't show up for couple of days and I feel like I am crazy. I feel guilty to my boyfriend and still think I love him. I've just cannot take my power back and control myself.

My boyfriend is much older then me and this guy is just a 2 years younger than me. I do not know the reason for this addiction, but I am confused and terribly tired to understand what I am doing.

 

It is hard to understand who or why we end up in love. I have loved the same person for over 7 years now. She just recently got in contact with an old boyfriend, and now she tells me she still has feelings for him. (Damn Facebook) She still has feelings for me as well, but I am having a hard time dealing with the idea that I am not the only one for her.

 

I hope if anyone out there has the answer to this lifelong question that they fill me in. I've been dating this girl for over a year now. we both divorced our spouses to be together. This was mistake number one. The old adge if they cheat on them they'll cheat on you is haunting me as I write this. Bad thing is she cheats on me with her ex. She continues to string us both along promising him to come bacand promising me she won't go back. The worst partis when I get suspicious and say anything she makes me feel like I'm wrong and makes me feel like crap. Then when I bust her she doesn't know what to say. Aside from killing myself which has crossed my mind I don't know what to do. I have no backbone and feel so trapped. Help!

 

Tludi, I know what you mean.

 

Your ex sounds very conniving.  Like she likes to 'play the field'.