I Have a Dark Sense of Humor and I Love Puns

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 198 People

    It's All In The Punctuation

    An English professor wrote the words, "Woman without her man is nothing" on the blackboard and directed his students to punctuate it correctly. The men wrote: "Woman, without her man, is nothing." The women wrote: "Woman: Without her, man is nothing."
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Oct 15, 2013

    Whats the difference between a rock

    and a baby You cant **** a rock
    DannibalLecter99 DannibalLecter99
    16-17, M
    May 25, 2015

    Come With Me To Shitopia Baby!

    I am in a deep dark place. I think it might be the place below rock bottom because I hit that a while back, and kept falling. And it's not the gutter either. Cuz I've been there too. And I mean that very literally though. I fell out of a cab and woke up in a gutter. And no, the...
    SweetGG SweetGG
    31-35, F
    1 Response Oct 22, 2013

    The Future

    Back in the days when the guillotine was first used, people wondered, is this what we may beheaded for in the future?
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    2 Responses Oct 30, 2013

    Women's Comebacks To Pickup Lines

    While I'd hate to be at the receiving end of any of these one-liners, I can appreciate the humour involved. I also enjoy the cause-and-effect they contain, the kind of puns that leave me shaking my head.  Much as I wish I could take credit for these, I found it elsewhere on...
    UnderEli UnderEli
    46-50, M
    Dec 31, 2012

    If Satan loses his hair,

    will there be hell toupee?
    mmorgan0678 mmorgan0678
    41-45, M
    Aug 24, 2015

    The Airport

    If you step onto a plane and recognize a friend of yours named Jack don't yell out Hi Jack!
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Nov 26, 2013

    how do you shut up a baby?

    hit it in the head with a hammer what do you call a 5 year old with no friends? sandy hook survivor what did daddy tell his little girl when she pointed between his crotch when he was naked and asked what it was? his man stick what did he say when she asked when she could...
    DemonsFreak DemonsFreak
    13-15, M
    1 Response Aug 23, 2015
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