I Have A Dark Sense Of Humor

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,025 People

    I hate watching the local news.

    They are always reporting about the people who were murdered. Well what about all the people who WEREN'T murdered? Don't they matter?
    BellaLocura BellaLocura
    46-50, F
    5 Responses Feb 21, 2016

    Crazy as it sounds, I do.

    I also like to turn my humor into skits. I have these crazy ideas that can be really good on film
    BuickLesley BuickLesley
    22-25, M
    May 21, 2015
    picklebobble picklebobble
    51-55, M
    1 Response Sep 15, 2015

    How do people with no arms **********?

    I am not trying to be mean. I honestly wanna know. This keeps me up at night.
    deleted deleted
    2 Responses Nov 12, 2015

    Well to start this story I need to provide some

    background. I listen to a podcast at work, the Rooster Teeth Podcast. They were talking about a video that one of them had watched that was produced by McDonalds that had talked about how the McNuggets were made. After he was done describing the video another person says...
    hypertap hypertap
    26-30, M
    2 Responses Jun 3, 2015
    bucketman23 bucketman23
    26-30, M
    2 Responses Jan 14, 2014
    moose73630 moose73630
    18-21, M
    2 Responses Jan 1, 2016

    not even like typical shock value.

    .. like just the utterly depressing yet somewhat ironic in a way that sometimes can make you chuckle off nightmares...
    trinidae trinidae
    22-25, M
    Feb 15, 2016

    Ive got the darkest humor then.

    These jokes aren't twisted gross or ****** up... boring
    QcBG819 QcBG819
    22-25, M
    Apr 20, 2015

    deleted deleted
    2 Responses Feb 14, 2016

    Well, one of my good friends committed suicide

    not long ago and I wasn't really thinking very clearly while I was at his funeral. His brother asked me how I was doing and I instantly said, "I'm doing better than Mikey (he was the friend in the casket)." I didn't mean to offend anyone but that was the first thing that popped...
    deleted deleted
    Jun 23, 2015

    i find humor in distasteful circumstances

    sometimes. a good example of that might be, im a total animal lover, i also am a realist. you live you die, sometimes unfortunately. i had a screensaver (mind you this was a few years back) that was a dead orange cat that was basically roadkill flat in the road. i called him...
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Nov 14, 2015
    RoastedCycki RoastedCycki
    70+, F
    Mar 22, 2016

    A dark sense of humor,

    is a good sense of humor. 😈
    PsychGirl94 PsychGirl94
    22-25, F
    1 Response Jul 2, 2015
    artsydarling artsydarling
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Sep 17, 2014

    Wanna make some (dark) stories

    or jokes? In Southern California (though not necessary)? Want to help make videos on little to nothing or like activities that are geeky/nerdy/sporty/gaming? Got 2 free groups on FB (can be on other sites) forming. Share this post? (Reference my profile or email here). Both need...
    supergirl805 supergirl805
    22-25, F
    Feb 15, 2016

    I'm way more vicious

    than some people would think but I try to have self control lol. My friends who know me well should know how friendly I am. Nothing should ever be taken personal, it's a flippin joke. I'm the same way, everyone pokes fun at me ALL the time for stupid things and I always laugh it...
    RoastedCycki RoastedCycki
    70+, F
    Sep 19, 2015

    "Why would it suck to be a black Jew?

    " This joke got me banned for three days from the game Lord of the Rings Online. The answer is: "Because you'd have to sit in the BACK of the OVEN...." :D
    Lobber Lobber
    41-45, M
    2 Responses Oct 5, 2015

    I have a dark sense of humor.

    It's particularly hard to find other people with a dark sense of humor as well. Forever alone in this dark world... see what I did there.. eh? eh? Puns ;')
    IndySteeler IndySteeler
    22-25, M
    3 Responses Jan 3, 2015

    This is one of the only things I cannot change

    about my personality, not because I do not want to, but because I CAN'T. I have laughed at jokes about terrible things. Guilt does take me over at times, though the laugh was worth it. Unfortunately, listing out the topics I find hilarious would derail your entire opinion of me...
    The3rdAndOnly The3rdAndOnly
    18-21, F
    Aug 9, 2015

    "What does a dead baby look like

    after three minutes in the microwave?" "I don't know, I close my eyes when I **********." Is it wrong that I find such horrible jokes to be hilarious? I guess it's a shock thing :P
    Jaimee1212 Jaimee1212
    22-25, F
    4 Responses Jan 15, 2015

    There are times when it tends to freak people

    out. And that just makes me laugh more.
    Geishacowgirl Geishacowgirl
    22-25, T
    1 Response Nov 13, 2014

    Q) What did the snail say

    while riding the turtles back...
    TheGreanBean TheGreanBean
    41-45, F
    Sep 17, 2015

    I was once on a swing

    and yelled out loud "I haven't had this much fun since I escaped Auschwitz!"
    MLGnoscoper MLGnoscoper
    18-21, M
    2 Responses Apr 25, 2015

    Ahh I've wanted to tell people this

    but they always get grossed out Okay, How do you stop a baby crying and running around in a circle? Nail its other hand to the floor
    Foreverfairy Foreverfairy
    16-17, F
    2 Responses May 9, 2015

    What's the hardest thing about microwaving a

    baby? Holding the camera still while you J*** off
    AEnima426 AEnima426
    18-21, M
    3 Responses Jun 3, 2014

    Life is a sexually transmitted disease

    and the mortality rate is one hundred percent. R. D. Laing
    deleted deleted
    Aug 17, 2014

    Why did the toddler drop his lolly?

    He was hit by a truck. What's 18 inches and makes women scream all night long? Crib death. What's a flying jew called? Smoke.
    Janalino Janalino
    18-21, M
    4 Responses Apr 19, 2015
    Totalwar1214 Totalwar1214
    18-21, M
    Sep 17, 2014

    Why did the chicken commit suicide?

    To get to the other side.
    cyclops1975 cyclops1975
    41-45, M
    Sep 19, 2015

    Two necropheliacs walk by a morgue.

    One necropheliac says to the other, "Wanna go in for a couple of cold ones?" lmao The Amazing Atheist - the only American I respect.
    deleted deleted
    May 8, 2015

    A little boy comes running Into the room

    and says, "Grandpa! Grandpa! Can you make a sound like a frog?" The Grandpa says, "I don't know, why?" The little boy says, "Because grandma says as soon as you croak, we can go to Disneyland!"
    caitwebb1221 caitwebb1221
    16-17, F
    1 Response Apr 19, 2015

    I laugh at things that shouldn't be laughed at.

    I make jokes that shouldn't be made, according to politically correct people but if you're lucky, you'll find others of the same ilk. And I've been fairly lucky in that regard.
    Handyman25 Handyman25
    26-30, M
    1 Response Oct 4, 2015
    artsydarling artsydarling
    22-25, F
    4 Responses Sep 17, 2014

    A girl on my bus remarked

    that I was "quiet" today. I turned around and said, "Well, nobody plans a murder out loud."
    DrowningInRed DrowningInRed
    5 Responses Jan 8, 2015

    Chris Haaaaanson is my hero.

    He lured in almost as many guys as I did, and that there is impressive. I watch these everyday guys get told and they fidget and sweat and fumble. "Her name was, uh, 22." Its not supposed to be funny. It just is. Justice is long overdue, so excuse me if I laugh at you...
    adianoeta adianoeta
    31-35, F
    5 Responses Dec 6, 2014

    Why can't orphans play baseball?

    Because they don't know where home is.
    artsydarling artsydarling
    22-25, F
    4 Responses Sep 16, 2014
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